Monday, June 04, 2007

"An Inconvenient Truth: Mr. Gore You HAVE to run in 2008"

So how well did the Democrat candidates perform in their debate last night? Of course, you would expect me to say they STUNK especially Bill Richardson who has to be absolutely the biggest shmoe to run for president in years. Well, you can get an idea of how well the Democrats appealed to their base by the many threads in both DUmmieland and KOmmieland, BEGGING Al Gore to run. Apparently the Democrats last night so underwhelmed the Left that today we have a KOmmie THREAD titled, "An Inconvenient Truth: Mr. Gore You HAVE to run in 2008." So let us now watch the KOmmies beg Al Gore to run in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, wondering if Bill Richardson feels physical pain watching replays of himself, is in the [brackets]:

An Inconvenient Truth: Mr. Gore You HAVE to run in 2008

[Please save us from the current lineup of really crappy candidates!]

Dear President Gore: (I call you that because you did win in 2000)

[A victory in an Alternate Universe.]

There is much abuzz about whether you will or won't run in 2008. Mr. Gore, I don't care if you WANT to run or don't want to run. Mr. Gore you HAVE to run. Your country needs you. Sometimes in life you have to do something not because it's easiest or most convenient and not because it's best for you personally. You do it because the greater good necessitates such a course of action. Mr. Gore I'd crawl on one leg across America licking the dirt off the sidewalks if my personal inconvenience could undo all the harm the Busheviks have inflicted on America over the past 6 years.

[Will you also lick our toilets clean?]

Mr. Gore, you are the person best suited to rescue us from the assaults on reason, our Constitution, our environment, our security, and our domestic infrastructure perpetrated on us by the Busheviks and their allies. You have more experience and wisdom to be President than every other candidate of either party has combined.

[Yup! You are definitely UNDERWHELMED by the Democrat lineup.]

The time to step up to the plate is fast approaching. I EXPECT you to deliver.

[Oh Goracle...SAVE US!!!]

Granted sir life would be a heck of a lot easier if you did not run for President. You have a wonderful wife, great children, and terrific grandchildren. You have more than enough money to live comfortably for the next 30 years. You also have the freedom to selectively involve yourself in projects that you want, on your own schedule, at your own pace. Few in life have these luxuries. You've earned those luxuries but you will have to give them up. You don't want to, I know, but you have to. The Al Gore of 2000 would disagree with me. The Al Gore of today knows I'm right.

[We are NOT worthy!!!]

President Gore, the man you are today is not the man you were in 2000. Back in 2000 you were a decent man at heart but a flawed man in practice. You mistakenly thought that if you followed the conventional wisdom of the Washington media and DC cocktail party elitists by laying low, not trying to stir up issues, and distancing yourself from a President on so called moral issues that you would ride the peace and prosperity of the Nineties into the White House

[There are about 60 extra pounds in the 2007 Al Gore.]

You relied on a bunch of highly paid pollsters and professional hacks like Bob Help Democrats Lose Elections Shrum, Mark Help Republicans Win Penn, and Donna Undermine Democrats Brazille thinking that if you followed their DLC handbook of capitulating to Republicans (thus making yourself look weak in the process) that you would eke out a 2-3 point victory over an inexperienced Governor from Texas with a famous last name. How wrong you were. But I forgive you because I genuinely know the Al Gore of today understands the error of those ways.

[My fave is Bob "Help Democrats Lose Elections" Shrum. If Shrum is in any way connected with a presidential campaign, it is a sure kiss of death.]

You now know that if you gave a big middle finger to the Shrum's, Brazille's, and Penn's of the world, articulated where you stood on the issues forcefully and truthfully without wishy-washy wavering, (as you do brilliantly in your must read book, The Assault on Reason) simply said that what Bill Clinton with Monica Lewinsky did was wrong but no big deal, them you would have made the Lyndon Johnson-Barry Goldwater race of 1964 look like a nailbiter.

[Monica made it look like a malebiter.]

Over time, you started to find your voice as you felt freed from the shackles of the DLC and the professional pundits. Whether your inner transformation stemmed from anger at what the Shrums, Brazilles and Penns cost you or your transformation stemmed from having some time to reflect on all that happened, you transformed yourself into a great leader. You delivered a poignant speech at the Commonwealth Club in San Francisco in 2002 where you nailed the issue of Iraq long before anyone else. You followed that up with a terrific speech at NYU about the follies of George W Bush invading an unarmed nation that posed no threat to us while simultaneously ignoring the actual terrorists who did attack us. And to this day you've continued to show more and more courage, speaking out about foreign policy, global warming, our corrupt media, and all the important issues of the day.

[If Algore is nominated, we'll see a lot of those Republican campaign commercials.]

The mere fact Mr. Gore that you've turned out to be right every time thus far, years in advanced, tells you that you are a visionary and a leader. You probably wouldn't have turned out this way if you were serving us as President but you ARE this way now.

[Losing made you a loon.]

As the man you ARE today, you understand the grave problems we face as a nation and how you are the one person most qualified to fix them in the fastest amount of time. You articulated these concepts and solutions in your book, The Assault On Reason, and if you simply go on the campaign trail and talk as you did in this book, you will be a double digit, landslide victor in November of 2008.

[A 537 chad landslide.]

Your inauguration as President in 2009 would bring instant credibility to our nation and make us 95% safer within two minutes of taking the oath as President. Your courage as a leader will bring millions of new voters to the polls, combined with large numbers of independents and moderate Republicans who will support you for President but would otherwise stay home if another Democrat gets the nomination in 2008.

[You seem to be forgetting the inevitable shiv that Hillary will administer to the Al Gore back if he got anywhere near the nomination but continue with your amusing delusion, KOmmie davefromqueens.]

Of course you will be attacked and slimed if you entered the race but the Al Gore of today wouldn't cower to the Coulter's, Insanity's and Limbaugh's of this world. The Al Gore of today would smack these propagandistic demagogues down hard and when they come at you again, you'd smack them down twice as hard the next time until they eventually wilt like the bully-cowards they truly are.

[That's not who Algore has to worry about. The problem will come from She Who Must Be Obeyed.]

When the Washington Post or New York Times print their BS ladened with Republican talking points masquerading as objective news stories, the Al Gore of today will call it BS. When CNN lies and spews its daily pro-GOP Republican, the Al Gore of today will bash CNN and point out the bias. You'd even have the power to persuade hundreds of thousands of people to refuse to watch CNN, forcing the cable network to either be fair or go bankrupt. When Katie Couric reads GOP talking points from a teleprompter, the Al Gore of today will call her out on her lies and demand an apology. You'll do the same when NBC News with Republican "go to guy" Brian Williams does the same as well as ABC, owned by the right wing Disney corporation. I know you won't care about what the media or cocktail party elitists think and you have the power to make them irrelevant. You understand media better than anyone and you'll take these media conglomerates on, head on, and crush them. No other candidate has that power.

[Now I KNOW you're delusional. Can you read your prescribed medication on the teleprompter?]

Yes, Mr. Edwards, Mr. Obama, and even Mrs. Clinton would be far better choices than any of the reactionary, demagogic clowns running for the Republican nomination. But we can't afford the risk of a close race with a Republican nominee especially with Rove appointed Attorney Generals serving in swing states.

[I'm going to SAVOR the November 2008 implosion of KOmmie davefromqueens when President Romney wins.]

Actually stopping terrorism, restoring America's credibility, rebuilding our military, recreating a pro middle class economy, protecting our environment, bringing learning back to our education system, preserving our Constitution, remedying health care atrocities, and stopping the threat of global warming are difficult tasks, tasks far more inconvenient than giving a few speeches and spending quality time with the grandchildren. But Mr. Gore, this isn't about you personally, it's about America. I know you'll step up to the front. Millions of people, myself included, we've got your back.

[Al Gore will consider your plea but ONLY if you lick every toilet clean between Queens and West Hollywood. And now to read the rest of KOmmies BEGGING for Al Gore to save them...]

Gore MUST run. It's not a political issue. It's a moral issue.

[Sorry but immoral Hillary already has the lock on the nomination.]

Gore likes to call the need to deal with the global warming crisis a "shared moral imperative." The same could be said for his candidacy.

[Is there a cure for terminal self-righteousness?]

Earth is in cataclismic trouble. He gets it. He'd like everyone else to, as well.

[By buying carbon credits from Al Gore Indulgences Inc..]

For me, it comes down to this: Gore would be the one candidate who has the vision to actually challenge paradigms--the ensconced way of doing things that nobody else questions.

[Al Gore is just $10 away from esconcing your paradigms.]

My most vivid memory from the campaign was Gore coming up to tower threateningly over Bush in that debate. I thought, "Oh my God, what's the matter with this guy?" He did that to himself, not his advisors or Clinton or the MSM. Made people feel sorry for Bush, of all things.

[It was Lieberman's fault!]

He's NOT a horrible campaigner EITHER

[Not exactly a ringing endorsement there.]

The biggest mistake Al Gore made in 2000 is to put his campaign into the hands of an army of consultants who couldn't win an election if their lifes depended on it.

[It was everybody's fault except Al's!]

And Gore is a triangulator from way back.

[Was he ever caught triangulating in public?]

We need you, Al, or we're going to get her-who-must-not-be-named.

[Too bad because you are going to end up with she-who-must-not-be-named.]

Are we ready for a 2nd Age of Reason? Voltaire & Rousseau are turning in their graves awaiting the second coming. At what other time have you witnessed a serious yearning and cry for help by the American people? How much louder do we have to scream to Al Gore? Is he even listening? Do we have to roll out the red carpet? Do we have to march in every city? Does he need a Nobel Prize? Does he hear anyone else other than those stupid pollsters he once employed?
Will he ever hear us? I pray to god and still hold out hope...I believe! But sometimes, I almost break down in tears wondering if he hears us, will he save us?

[Voltaire & Rousseau are laughing at your pathetic desperation from their graves.]

If Gore is asking us to become part of a new movement, how can he ingore his own words. He must run.

["Ingore." A word is born! Defined as being ignored by Al Gore...ingore.]

We do not need Al Gore to "save" us. Al Gore is simply a politician. A very good one, the man I voted for in 2000, but just a man, not a savior. Not Jesus.


The begging of Al Gore is getting pathetic.

[The begging of Al Gore is getting FUnnie.]

We have good people running, but Hillary resonates with no one, Edwards just doesn't cut the mustard, Obama dissappoints, Richardson doesn't really have presence, Dodd is "Who?" and Kucinich is a joke. Democrats cry out for Gore because he fits a perceived deficiency in our field of candidates. Because he inspires. Because he's an intelligent, visionary man that we will be very happy to support and to follow.

[Is it okay if Biden copies your post?]

After watching the debate last night I became more confinced that we need Al Gore to run for President.

[That crappy Democrat field really got you depressed?]

Run Al, run! Your supporters are waiting. Our grandchildren are waiting. Yhe planet is waiting.

[Your prosthetic crotch enhancer is waiting!]

The important point is that Gore can win against any candidate...Democrat or Republican. And, we have to win!

[Or I'm going to lose my miiiinnnd!!!]

I was getting ready to post comment somewhere else that Al Gore won the debate because the 8 candidates last night proved that they aren't in the same league as Al Gore. This country will go down hard if another Rethug takes over the reigns. We can not afford to nominate second best, this is all we got candidates. Have you listened to Twitt Romney? This guy is creepy scary. Cross between Jimmy Swaggert and Ronald Reagan, but more articulate and twice as dangerous. I'll have to find my passport and develop a foriegn accent if the likes of Romney steal another election.

[Thanx for that unintended endorsement of Mitt Romney. I'll have to pass it along to my Freeper friends who for some reason seem enamored with Fred Thompson.]

President Gore, please, please, please announce your acceptance of the Democratic nomination for president once again! I pledge to support you with money, time and feet on the ground, fighting for your landslide victory up to the moment the polls close.

[Sorry but you still haven't promised to lick all the toilet bowls clean from coast to coast.]

And this time, besides the rest of those lousy DINO advisers, you can add Naomi Wolf to the list. She's the one who suggested you "spruce up" your wardrobe and not be so stuffy. Whereupon you showed up at an event in a chartreuse blazer with a purple tie. I mean, lord, what were you thinking?

[He "spruced up" with a prosthetic crotch enhancer thanx to Naomi's Alpha Male advice.]

Help us Obie-Al-wan-Gore-Kenobi. You're our only hope!

[May the Farce be with you!]

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

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p.s. Check out what one of our happy customers had to SAY about the amazing helicopter kite.


Anonymous true patriot said...

I soooooooo wish this enlightened woman would be our 44th President.

7:21 PM  
Anonymous Gianni said...

[Thanx for that unintended endorsement of Mitt Romney. I'll have to pass it along to my Freeper friends who for some reason seem enamored with Fred Thompson.]

Probably because Romney 1. Is not a conservative and 2. Has no chance of winning.

TP: If she ran this would be one of the FUnniest election seasons ever. Even FUnnier than it already is. I could use a good laugh right about now.

9:32 PM  
Blogger Dave said...

Run, Cindy, run!! If the Dems would only nominate her, she could be the first major party candidate to lose all 50 states *and* D.C.

And I suspect BigWoodenAlGore is about to disappear up his own ass as His Royal Smugness sniffs his own farts so hard.

10:28 PM  
Blogger Capitalist Infidel said...

I can't help but laugh everytime these far left loons claim the media is "right wing." Do they know who Stephanopolous, Russert, and Matthews worked for? Do they know the Chairman for Disney is ex democrat senator Mitchell?

10:44 PM  
Blogger Son Of The Godfather said...

I have to confess that I'm a "Fred head" convert... I like Romney a great deal, but I think Thompson is playing it exactly right at this point...

And PLEASE run, Goreacle!! I would be overcome with "fruedenschade" as Thompson (or Romney) eviscerated you with your own words during the debates.

9:45 AM  
Anonymous ray said...

Please run Al, I would love to see you grow a bigger beard as you mope, oops, excuse me, ponder the reasons for you loss.

"Dear President Gore: (I call you that because you did win in 2000)"

Al Gore, America's first non-serving President. Also known as President for Naught.

Hay Kommie, If you actually believe that Al won the 2000 elections and since he DIDN'T run in the 2004 elections, wouldn't he now be Ex-President Gore? Or didn't the 2004 elections take place in KOmmieland?

Sorry to burst your drug induced fantasy, KOmmie, but Al isn't going to run and this country will, once again, elect a Republican for president.

10:47 AM  
Blogger Mark said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

1:26 PM  
Blogger Mark said...

"Your inauguration as President in 2009 would bring instant credibility to our nation and make us 95% safer within two minutes of taking the oath as President"

Instant credibility? I find that statement simply...uh...incredible!

95% safer? From who? Oh, Yeah. According to brother Gore, Climate change is the most imminent threat to the world. The Islamic terrorists are just children playing in a big ol' sandbox! LOL!

By the way, I just added you to my blogroll. it is in serious need of some laughs.

1:27 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

[I'm going to SAVOR the November 2008 implosion of KOmmie davefromqueens when President Romney wins.]

You mean when president Fred Thompson wins?

10:46 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Edwards just doesn't cut the mustard,

it is MUSTER .... MUSTER ... MUSTER... MUSTER!!!

(sorry. pet peeve!)


10:51 PM  
Anonymous Basilisk said...

I have to confess that I'm a "Fred head" convert... I like Romney a great deal, but I think Thompson is playing it exactly right at this point...

Hear, hear. Sorry P. J., but Romney just doesn't inspire the way Fred does. And I'd really like a conservative in office next time. No more of the kind of disappointment we're getting with Bush.

8:46 AM  
Blogger Mark said...

For true Conservatives, the best candidate, even including Thompson, is Duncan Hunter. He has never failed to hit home runs in these debates and no one, I mean NOT ONE CONSERVATIVE has ever said anything detrimental about his views.

1:15 PM  

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