Monday, April 23, 2007

"Al Gore is going to run"

So now it turns out that all the Global Warming hoopla was really nothing but an Al Gore shtick whose SOLE purpose was to get himself back in the presidential race again. This comes amid recent reports that the Al Gore campaign is secretly assempling a team for the 2008 race. Of course, there are still a few Global Warming True believers like Laurie David and Sheryl (One Wipe) Crow. However, we now are seeing the true ulterior motive of Al Gore. This is to allow the Democrat candidates completely fail to impress its base as is already happening and then, by riding in on the Global Warming horse, appear to save the day in the form of the corpulent Al Gore. So far this strategy is working beautifully as you can see in this DUmmie THREAD breathlessly titled, "Al Gore is going to run." So let us now watch the DUmmies hail the return of their supposed savior in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, noting that Joe (Copycat) Biden has been completely lost in the dust, is in the [brackets]:

Al Gore is going to run

[Here he comes to SAVE THE DAY!!!]

My heart rate goes up every time that gets mentioned , Go Al !!!

[Pitter Patter! Pitter Patter! Save us from Hillary!]

What I see with him now is a passion to fix global warming!

[A passion to use his Global Warming shtick to get the Democrat nomination.]

Kerry had no flipflop baggage - that is a RW talking point.

[Yeah. We forced Kerry to support the $87 billion before he was against it.]

If he had run in 2004, he would have suffered the same fate as Kerry, who actually won, but had the presidency stolen out from under him just as Gore did in 2000. But now the people are starting to wake up to the vote-theft committed through black-box voting machines and media complicity. Now there is a chance that stealing the election won't be as easy. The Republicans did steal a lot of votes in 2006, so we don't have as large a majority as we should, but the tsunami of throw-the-bums-out passion was so great that the Republicans' prearranged vote-theft margins (also known as "THE math") were not great enough to prevent the Dems from taking both houses.

[It's GONNA be FUn to watch the DUmmies scream "VOTE FRAUD!" when Algore loses again.]

The vote count and the media were rigged to destroy ANY Dem running in 2004. Thanks to Terry McAuliffe's stewardship of the DNC that completely ignored the security of the election process for the four years he was charged with that duty - especially after 2000 election theft.

[Not quite. The Democrats still managed to steal the Washington State governorship.]

I don't want him to run! I want him to be active as a cabinet member -- for President Edwards!! Edwards is the one who didn't wan to concede in 2004 -- he's the one that deserves a second chance!

[Sorry but it isn't in the cards for Al Gore to give a back facial to the Breck Girl.]

Gore did not concede. The SCOTUS annointed the boy king. Exactly what should Gore have done at that point?

[Get down on his knees and pledge allegiance to our Glorious Emperor, Chimpus Khan.]

Please let it be true!! We are in an environmental crisis that is threatening to destroy society. I truly believe that Al Gore may save the human race, but he must have the power to make the right decisions! If another repuke gets elected, it may be all over for us.

[I could point out to this DUmmie that terrorism poses a REAL threat but that would just divert his attention momentarily from worrying about some iceberg melting in the middle of the ocean.]

The Pubbie's worst nightmare is Al on TV telling the truth loudly and clearly!

[Actually Algore is our fondest dream. See it, SCREAM it, Al!]

If Al Gore ran... Cardiologists for Republicans would be on call 24/7. You bet he is their worst nightmare. He's everything they are not, and the majority want a BIG change. Perfect match.

[Cardiologists for Republicans would be on call because they would laugh themselves to the point of suffocation should Algore run again.]

Al Gore as Dem nominee is the republicans worst nightmare. Every time folks see an image of Gore they will remember Gore v. Bush 2000 and mournfully think "IF ONLY...."

[Every time I see an image of Gore, I remember the prosthetic crotch enhancer that he wore in 2000.]

Oh please let this be true!

[Pray to the Underdog.]

I don't believe it. The man has said repeatedly he has no plans to run. Al Gore is NOT a liar.

[So when Al Gore does run you will find out that he is a liar.]

I trust Al Gore. I believe if the man repeats over and over again he isn't going to run then he isn't. I just don't believe Gore will run because he's said too many times he won't.

[Does the Tooth Fairy also whisper in your ear?]

Mr. Gore is a man of his word. Period. So all of this speculative BS is just that.

[I have faith in Mr. Gore to break his word faster than a glacier meltdown.]

It all depends on what his thoughts are when those words come out of his mouth. If he is absolutely certain he is going to jump into the race and he just hasn't started planning yet then it would be misleading, but if he is considering it but has not made up his mind then his words are not misleading at all. My guess is that he is considering it or else he would just say flat out "no, it is absolutely positively not going to happen". Because he is unwilling to do that I think he is considering it, but because he has probably not firmly made up his mind yet he is not misleading anyone by saying he has no plans.

[You really enjoy gazing into Algore's navel, don't you?]

Al Gore will always be my president. I will walk through fire for that guy. I will give every ounce of energy I can muster to get him over the top and I know alot of folks who will do the same. One voice of sanity in an insane world, Al is The Man!

[If Al Gore is the one voice of sanity, then this world is far crazier than I thought.]

Wishing and hoping and thinking and praying, planning and dreaming...

[...and baying at the moon.]

I'm sure President EDWARDS could appoint him somewhere where he could do some good!

[President EDWARDS could make him the Back Facial director of the Pink Sapphire Spa.]

There's still some hours left in Earth Day...I wanted to treat myself.

[To two TP wipes instead of the Sheryl Crow mandated one?]

Run, Al, run! Mother Earth needs you.

[Better hope Mother Earth doesn't abort Al Gore.]

Some of you are delusional

[This is DUmmieland. Change "Some" to "All."]

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Have you ever been at the beach and seen a really hot looking chick? Most likely all you will end up doing is just stare at her, drooling like an idiot. If you try to talk to her you will probably embarrass yourself with your clumsy pickup lines. Well, GOOD NEWS! I now have a product guaranteed to make it EASY to pick up lots of hot looking women at the beach. It is a product I have been using myself and fully endorse: the amazing HELICOPTER KITE. This helicopter kite flies like a helicopter. You can make it go hundreds of feet into the air or hover it just a couple of feet off the ground. The propellor rotation is done entirely by windpower. So how does this help you pick up chicks? Simple. Just hover this helicopter kite a few feet off the ground near the hot beach chick of your choice. In most cases they will be overcome with curiosity and come over to YOU to ask about it. I've run a little experiment on this and it works on about 75% of the women (catch and release in my case since I'm married). My advice is to keep the conversation initially focused on the helicopter kite until you can later make a sneaky segue into asking her out for dinner. From that point on, you're on your own. Please check out the VIDEO of the INCREDIBLE helicopter kite. Not only was the helicopter kite aerodynamically designed but it is also MADE IN THE USA! So feel good about purchasing an AMERICAN MADE toy which makes the perfect method for vastly enhancing your social life. The helicopter kites have a LIFETIME warranty so all defective or broken parts will be replaced. Your purchase of the helicopter kite will not only provide you with lots of hot dates but it will also help keep the DUmmie FUnnies going. So take a look at the VIDEO and be AMAZED! Remember, those hot beach chicks are waiting!

p.s. Check out what one of our happy customers had to SAY about the amazing helicopter kite.


Anonymous Basilisk said...

Al Gore as Dem nominee is the republicans worst nightmare.

You betcha! I'll never be able to stop laughing, and I'll die of asphyxiation. You can't buy entertainment that good, and I have other things I have to do.

I don't believe it. The man has said repeatedly he has no plans to run. Al Gore is NOT a liar.

Yeah, it's not as if he's politicising experimental models for his own political, wait.

8:26 PM  
Blogger Marcelle said...

I understand you're not the biggest Gore fan, but this video involving him, Hillary, Obama, and Edwards might amuse you:

Challenge Of The Super-Duper Friends!

It's a spoof of the classic Superfriends cartoon, and it might prove to be of interest to you. :)

5:28 AM  
Anonymous ray said...

So, it looks like Obama is out and Gore is in. I wonder who it will be next month?

Face it DUmmies, Gore as about as much chance for becoming president as Kerry does: absolutely none! But don't let that get in the way of your fantasies as we all need a bit of humor now and again via the Dummie FUnnies.

6:38 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

JP said:"I could point out to this DUmmie that terrorism poses a REAL threat but that would just divert his attention momentarily from worrying about some iceberg melting in the middle of the ocean."

I would point out to you that DUmmies think terrorism is made up by President McHalliburton, Muslim extremists are a figment of our imagination, and seals have more of a right to exist than aborted children.

Hows that for fucked in the head?

1:35 PM  

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home