DUmmie FUnnies: November 2006

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

"Oh, you silly Americans!"

WOW! It's spreading like wildfire. Now that the elections are over, the Looney Left feels completely free to SLAM America. We saw it happen at the Daily Kos in yesterday's EDITION of the DUmmie FUnnies and today we have an equally NUttie Hate America DUmmie THREAD titled, "Oh, you silly Americans!" The anti-Americanism of this DUmmie thread will leave you speachless. Of course, those same DUmmies are the same ones who get outraged if you dare to "question their patriotism" despite the total revulsion for this country expressed in this thread. So let us now watch the DUmmies slam America yet AGAIN in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, reminding the DUmmies that they can find true freedom in Pyongyang, is in the [brackets]:

"Oh, you silly Americans!"

[Oh, you silly DUmmies!]

Here we go again! You American's slay me----I know. bad choice of words considering the fact that you've just about had a shot at killing everyone on the planet once or twice. But i digress. I'm here to talk about your ridiculous calls for Bush's impeachment. It's all so contrived for you people, isn't it? It's all so easy. Your nation walks into anoter, kills hundreds of thousands for "sport" and absolutely no other reason. You cow tow to a maniac that the world hasn't seen since Hitler and Mussolini. You crow about democracy and what's right and who's wrong about being right and then somehow you idiots figure that impeachment would be good. Well it's not. It's DUMB. It's foolish and it quite frankly mimics your job to date in Iraq and Afghanistan. In other words: Once again America is doing it "half-ass."

[Your writing is DUmb, DUmmie.]

And let me just mention a few of the other half ass thigs you';ve managed: There was WWII. Your government decided to avoid it for nearly three years. That was fun for the rest of the world. Then there was Korea. Kim Jong Il thanks you. Then there was Vietnam. Thanks again. Then there was Panama. I know first hand about that deal. Then there's Honduras, Nicaragua, Cuba, Greneda... Who else is that you guys have pleasured in F-ing over again? Oh yeah... There was that litle firecracker you dropped on Hiroshima. Which was fine until you decided to committ mass genocide by dropping a similar bomb two days later on Nagasaki.

[Three days later when the Japanese still didn't surrender. But continue with your crazed rant so the doctors will know which rubber room to confine you to...]

And how is it that you all sleep at night, again?

[Soundly.]

Today, you're crying about impeachment. Well, I'm sorry folks. If Saddam wasn't good enough for The Hague than nor is Bush good enough for impeachment. Grow some balls you colony of cowardly twits and don't impeach the ass... March into the Whitehouse, grab him by the hair and drag him to be tried for war crimes. But send him to Iran to face that charge.

[Gnaw on the leather strap. It helps.]

You all think it's so easy. You all think that your constitution is a work of art. Well, my American friends... I have news. It's a piece of trash and not worth the paper it's written on. Your president proved that; I'm not saying anything that you shouldn't already know.

[Thanx for dropping the Leftwing PRETENSION that you really respect the constitution. The fact is the Leftists HATE the constitution. I still remember a leftwing "People's" constitution from years ago composed of a bunch of Bolshevik amendments.]

The ridiculous tenets by which you as Americans guage your right to live forgets to mention a few things. It fails to mention that "life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness only apply within your borders. The rest of us around the world couldn't give a flying, fiddler's fidoo what you believe is entitled to you. So, let's start there. You're constitution sucks and your attempt to spread the most flawed document since Hammurabi's code is laughable. How about keeping it to yourselves?

[Again, thanx for your honesty in expressing the widespread Leftwing HATRED of the U.S. Constitution. Somehow when leftwingers express their respect for the Constitution, it rings completely hollow and now we know why.]

Second and most importantly, you as American's believe that individual rights top the needs of the whole. Well, let me say this: My constitution says that I'm entitled to "Peace, Order and Good Government." maybe if the lot of you down there started reading the constitutions and the Charter of Rights of other nations you might get a clue on how to better your country. Sadly, I doubt any of you (liberal or otherwise) have the guts, the brains or the desire to bother looking.

[Yeah, like we need to emulate the rest of the world which mostly has lousy economies, widespread poverty, and low employment. Oh, how we envy the enlightened people of Bangladesh!]

Ultimately, it will only be your cobnstitution and the money of the ruling elite that will protect the madman known as Bush. It speaks volumes about your complicity in this war. As you sit in your homes, watching war on tv you fail to realize one thing about those in Afghanistan and Iraq. They're willing to die for their country. They're willing to conduct absolute civil disobedience to oust a corrupt or "evil" leader. What are you all really willing to do?

[Oh, to be ruled by the Taliban! How our hearts yearn for that day!]

My guess is: You'd all rather sit at home, eat fast food, listen to bad American music, watch reality tv and let Bush go free. THAT my dear American brothers and sisters proves how pathetic you all are as individuals. There are 250 million of you and you can't get your traitorous president put on trial for war crimes.

[Is that you, Mr. Iranian President?]

I used the word pathetic---------Perhaps a correction in terms is appropriate. How about, sad, lazy AND pathetic.

[I have a better word---DUmmie.]

Do the world a favour from now on and leave the civilized nations of the world to guard over the earth. You clowns have screwed it up almost beyond repair and refuse to make ANYONE accountable. That in and of itself gives me license to lump you all together and state that you're all looking as ugly as your president has painted you to be.

[This DUmmie is audtioning to be a fawned over guest on "The View."]

if you wanna clean up your reputations (which will be tough,) get Bush on a plane and have him tried. He deserves no quarter. He deserves the gallows and trust me when I say that: Almost the entire world would agree.

[Get yourself on a plane and have yourself committed.]

personally, I think we americans deserve all the slings and arrows coming our way, in triplicate.

[Stated a sympathetic DUmmie in reply to this insanity. And now to hear from the rest of the mostly sympathetic DUmmies...]

Sadly. I agree.

[Sadly I think you're really happy.]

It's hard to disagree with that.

[You mean hard for a DUmmie to disagree with that.]

you really think our constitution sucks? That it's not worth the paper it's printed on?

[That's what most DUmmies REALLY think.]

So, tell me how our Constitution has honored human rights and civil liberties ... outside our own borders.

[Obviously the concept that NATIONAL constitutions are for NATIONS, not the world at large, is too difficult for this DUmmie to grasp.]

It iscalled reparatons and if we have to pay them, you will as well. We are responsible and the only way to stop it, is to march on the white house en masse. It is an international law principle, by our oaparent silence we condone it

[And which chapter of what international law book prescribes marching on the White House en masse.]

Study America's role in the world this past century and it's hard to disagree with the writer.

[Liberated Europe twice, liberated South Korea, liberated the Philippines from the Japanese, caused the downfall of Communism. Yeah, we have so much to be ashamed of.]

Our history, aka the official hiotory is full of myths and make believe

[You won't need to make believe that you are a cockroach so you can crawl away now.]

Hope the author of this letter keeps writing...
he did a brilliant job.

[The glowing DUmmie reviews are flooding in.]

The content of your political system is that the corporations, the military and the polital elite have manipulated every institution at the expense of US citizens and the planet. If Bush and his goons do not reach the Hague or some other criminal war crimes court, then the author is 100% correct. This shit cannot be forgiven. Genocide is taking place and has been taking place for decades and all this crap about the constiution hasn't changed that reality.

[For all the allegations of genocide, NO specifics are ever given.]

Our country is, and long has been, the biggest terrorist nation on earth.

[You are invited to be the keynote speaker at the '08 Democrat Convention.]

I agree with this Canadian. I've spent the last 2 1/2 years trying to think of a way to pull off just what he recommends: that we march into the White House and take these criminals to trial. I dream about it. I told my 37 year-old son that if something doesn't 'give' soon, I was ready to buy my first gun and go underground. I'm turning into the radical that I wasn't in the '60s!

[A pathetic old hippie trying to relive an SDS fantasy that never was.]

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"Jonathan Alter just said on Olbermann that Kerry is 'through'"

One of the most FUn things to watch over the course of the next year as the Democrat presidential primary season shifts into gear will be the INEVITABLE mental meltdown of John F. Kerry when he finally realizes that he WON'T be nominated. I predict incredible fireworks bursting out of his head as he does NOT go gently into the night. So far it seems that the only person who thinks that Kerry has a chance is...Kerry. A recent poll even stated that he was the LEAST likeable of all the Democrat candidates. Even his Breck Girl '04 running mate stands a better chance than he does. And now the Democrats and liberals are already writing Kerry off as you can see from the title of this DUmmie THREAD, "Jonathan Alter just said on Olbermann that Kerry is 'through'." Yes, it seems that Kerry will be the last to know that he is "through" but at least he will provide incredible comedic entertainment when anger gets the best of him. Here is a guy who has worked almost his entire life for just ONE goal---to become the JFK of Hyannisport and within the next year it will all come crumbling down around him. Oh well, at least he will have Mama T's loving arms open to him for solace as he tries to get his allowance increased. So let us now watch the Left write off Kerry in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, posting this latest DUFU edition from County Kohn in Ireland, is in the [brackets]:

Jonathan Alter just said on Olbermann that Kerry is "through" as a presidential candidate.

[So what else is new?]

Unfortunately, I have to agree with him. such a shame. I really, really like Kerry.

[Such a shame you really, really don't have Kerry's back.]

yeah Cat, it is a shame but it's true I fear

[Better send the news to Mama T before she flushes another 50 million bucks down the Kerry campaign toilet.]

You people really cry about Bobby being taken down by a bullet and then turn and fret about a takedown for a dropped PRONOUN, fer chrissakes?

[All that stood between Kerry and the presidency was "us."]

I'm not counting him out just yet. A lot can happen and he wants in.

[Kerry is outside in the cold looking in at Hillary, Obama, and the Breck Girl dining in the warm flow of the Presidential Primary Restaurant.]

if he could only remember the punchlines to his jokes.....
...then he would make a viable candidate. i'm afraid his career as a comedian will be limited to opening up for michael richards at the laff stop.

[That's the LAUGH FACTORY. My friend and LAUGH FACTORY owner, Jamie Masada, wants you to remember that. L-A-U-G-H F-A-C-T-O-R-Y.]

He's done. He gave it a good run, but not quite good enough.
The swiftboating that went unanswered and the lame joke that came up short would be back to haunt him if he ran again. He's my senator, but I think any chance for a ticket to the WH is over.

[He's done. Chuck the Shmuck swiftboated Kerry.]

I don't think he would have apologized...if his fellow Democrats, always one step behind, hadn't harrased him into it. Hillary Clinton knew what he was talking about but, rather than stand beside him, used it as a cheap opportunity to knock a potential rival. Screw her.

[Bill certainly doesn't.]

Anyone who still thinks Kerry stands a chance is utterly delusional.

[How dare you call Kerry delusional!]

My feet are planted firmly on the ground, and I still support him and I think he has a chance.

[My feet are planted firmly on quicksand.]

He's not a real potential candidate. He's toast asking to be reheated.

[And don't forget to add the refried Boston beans.]

Even if he were the best guy on the planet, he is a lousy candidate. You might as well accept it.

[According to Morgan Fairchild, he is also lousy in the sack.]

The Swiftboat Liars did a tremendous amount of damage. May they all come down with painful boils in nether regions.

[May the fleas of a thousand camels settle between the legs of Mama T's Boy Toy.]

With the money he has, there is NO good reason for not spending some of it on a PR firm to burnish his image and make him seem "just like a real Democrat" (as opposed to seeming more like a Republican in Drag).

[Maybe Kerry could hire Lonesome Rhodes to teach him how to smile warmly.]

In 2004, just about everybody I spoke with told me they were voting for Kerry not because he was a great Senator, but because Bush sucked so much.

[So they voted for Not Bush, Not Kerry.]

That said, the 2008 season hasn't started yet. This is lame duck season, and once 2007 starts in earnest, I think you'll start hearing a lot more from Kerry, and all of them, about their visions for America. That said, he has presented several good ideas in speeches over the past year, but they were only covered by MA media.

[You're gonna be back in television. Only it won't be quite the same as it was before. There'll be a reasonable cooling-off period and then somebody will say: "Why don't we try him again in a inexpensive format. People's memories aren't too long." And you know, in a way, he'll be right. Some of the people will forget, and some of them won't. Oh, you'll have a show. Maybe not the best hour or, you know, top 10. Maybe not even in the top 35. But you'll have a show. It just won't be quite the same as it was before. Then a couple of new fellas will come along. And pretty soon, a lot of your fans will be flocking around them. And then one day, somebody'll ask: "Whatever happened to, a, whatshisname? You know, the one who was so big. The number-one fella a couple of years ago. He was famous. How can we forget a name like that? Oh by the way, have you seen, a, Barry Mills? I think he's the greatest thing since Will Rogers."]

Kerry's lack of traction speaks to so much of what is wrong with the political culture in America.

[Is Kerry's lack of a sense of humor our fault too?]

Betcha Barrick becomes their Democrat of choice in 2008.

[Sounds like the name of a new comic strip: "Betcha Barrick."]

John Kerry is probably one of the most courageous, if not the most courageous, people in the entire U.S. Senate.

[John Kerry is the kindest, bravest, warmest, most wonderful human being I've ever known in my life. Raymond Shaw too.]

(You can now access the DUmmie FUnnies simply by typing "DUmmieFUnnies.Com" into your URL address box.)

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Tuesday, November 28, 2006

KOmmies Slam America Now That Election Is Over

The midterm elections are over and now the Daily Kos KOmmies can tell us what they REALLY think, namely that they HATE America. You can see this hatred expressed in this KOmmie THREAD titled, "Calling Bullshit on America." The author sees as BS almost everything about America, even things that no longer exist or never existed in the first place. And if things here are so terrible as the author of this thread, One Pissed Off Liberal, states, then he should leave and enjoy the wonderful freedoms of Cuba or North Korea. Of course, he won't leave because most liberal complaints are just BS. They will gripe about how horrible things are in America but you never see them leaving this country permanently. Instead they will loudly gripe about how oppressive America is while, ironically, enjoying the freedom to publicly crybaby in such a manner. So let us now watch One Pissed Off Liberal enjoy the constitutional freedom to tell us how lousy America is in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, Calling Bullshit on KOmmieland, is in the [brackets]:

Calling Bullshit on America

[From somewhere within America...]

Our nation, culture, and political system are all steeped in lies, contradictions, distortions, and propaganda – in other words, bullshit! It has taken me much of my life to shed the misconceptions and outright lies that have been drilled into me from birth, to develop and fine-tune my bullshit detectors, to learn to see anything with any clarity at all.

[KOmmie One Pissed Off Liberal fine tuned his bs detectors and detected the wonderful Workers Paradise of North Korea in stark contrast to oppressed America.]

The government has powerful tools with which to manipulate our views, circumscribe our information, and mold our opinions (including the MSM and all the propaganda arms of the government itself) – and they use them with great zeal. The full extent to which the ruling class wants to hoodwink the rest of us cannot be overestimated. Their worst fear is that we will learn the truth.

[One Pissed Off Liberal has such finely fined tuned bs detectors that he is able to perceive that PBS, NBC, and SeeBS are all under the direct control of the EVIL Bush Regime.]

My personal view is that only the truth finally matters, and that only the truth can set us free. I’ll just touch on some highlights to make my point. Please feel free to add any bullshit I overlook to the pile.

[How about if we add this KOmmie thread to the heaping pile of BS?]

Slavery was bullshit.

[Ended in America BY Americans over 140 years ago. However, if you feel nostalgic towards slavery you can still find it in the entire country of North Korea and parts of Africa.]

Manifest Destiny was bullshit.

[No Manifest Destiny, no San Francisco. Think about it.]

Union busting was (and remains) bullshit.

[Unions weren't busted. They were mostly made irrelevant by economic change but I'll allow you to continue to live in your Great Depression fantasies.]

Segregation and racism was (and remains) bullshit.

[Segregation eliminated mostly peacefully over 40 years ago. However, in Muslim countries, non-Muslims face worse things than segregation, namely death.]

Duck and Cover was bullshit.

[Yeah, imagine how many young lives were destroyed by Duck and Cover drills in the classroom. Actually, Duck and Cover might be something to resurrect in today's dangerous public schools.]

MKULTRA was bullshit.

[According to the KOMmies, MKULTRA was a CIA mind control program of the 1950s. And what mindless control program did you graduate from?]

The murders of JFK, RFK, and MLK were bullshit.

[Americans who were killed by Americans...except in the case of RFK who was killed by a Palestinian. Of course I don't expect One Pissed Off Liberal to call BS on Palestinians.]

The Gulf of Tonkin Incident was bullshit.

[So will you be calling BS on DEMOCRAT LBJ and Robert STRANGE McNamara?]

The Reagan Presidency was bullshit.

[If you want to call incredible economic growth and the downfall of Communism BS then be my guest.]

The reign of Bush I was bullshit.

[Didn't you get the latest leftwing memo? You're now supposed to PRAISE Bush I in order to show contrast with his son, Bush II.]

The stolen election of 2000 was bullshit.

[True. That concept that the 2000 election was stolen is BS.]

9/11 was bullshit.

[It never happened. Those planes crashing into the Twin Towers were only the imaginary result of an MKULTRA CIA mind control program.]

Tax cuts for billionaires was bullshit.

[FUnnie, I never saw Warren Buffet nor George Soros return any of their increased tax cut revenues to the government.]

The joining of church and state was bullshit.

[They were joined only in your fervid MKULTRA mind control imagination.]

The trashing of our environment is bullshit.

[So which liberal celeb will the the FIRST to quit jetting around in environmentally wasteful Gulfstream aircraft?]

Healthcare in America is bullshit.

[Wait in LONG lines like Canada and Britain.]

The stolen election of 2004 was bullshit.

[More MKULTRA acid trip mind control?]

The fascist takeover of America is bullshit.

[Especially since it never happened.]

We’ve all been lied to, to the point of absurdity. These days, there is almost nothing true in what we are told. It saddens me, it humiliates me, and it angers me.

[It's HORRIBLE here. Your one-way ticket to Pyongyang is waiting for you at the ticket counter.]

I am sad that we do not have a government of the people, by the people, and for the people as we were meant to have.

[So sad. Things are sooooo much better in Cuba. So goooooo!!!]

I am humiliated that the world knows America as a bully, an imperialist, and a torturer – and that after all that has been done; we may never salvage our national reputation again in my lifetime.

[So much better in the MUzzie countries where you get executed for the crime of converting to another religion.]

I am angry that our government represents the wealthy, the greedy, and the special interests – and that virtually no one represents the best interest of the American people – and that the lip service given to same always seems to boil down to the same old thing – bullshit.

[Li'l Kim of North Korea is wiping away a tear in sympathy for your sentiment.]

I am heartsick that our founding fathers tried so hard to bequeath us a great nation, but because of greedy, immoral bastards like the Bushes, what we got instead was bullshit.

[I'm heartsick that you haven't left this horrible America left. And now let us hear your fellow KOmmies slam America now that the elections are safely over...]

A Tsunami of Freedom™ is spreading from this diary.

[More like a Tsunami of BS is spreading from this KOmmie diary.]

And to those freepers out there who would distort the message in this diary to one of "contempt for America" -- I would say, look at what has occurred in the last 6 years. Where the f*ck has "freedom fries" gotten you? There are times when great countries should be ashamed. There are times when great countries should step back and reflect on the horror and devastation that they have wrought upon the world. These are one of those times.

[Let us step back and reflect on the wonderful freedoms of the MUzzie countries where practicing freedom of religion is a capital offense.]

i wish someone would say this at 7pm on all the major broadcast networks and cable channels simultaneously

[Actually they already do, only a bit more subtly.]

Keith Olberman could run it all the other networks then can "report" that KO was arrested because of the bullshit he was broadcasting.

[Too bad for your theory that KO is free to broadcast BS.]

Fair enough, though one could say the same about high-fructose corn syrup.

[Hmmm... Let us now see how One Pissed Off Liberal takes some rather mild criticism of his Hate America diary...]

You condescending prick! How dare you come in and stink up this thread by repeatedly insulting me and anyone who likes my work? What an overbearing ass you are! Get a life you venal, self-righteous asshole!

[It seems that One Pissed Off Liberal is INTOLERANT of any criticism whatever when someone calls BS on his post. That poster was lucky that One Pissed Off Liberal wasn't in charge of the country or he would have already been placed in a Re-Education Camp...or worse.]

call me "BLAME AMERICA FIST".

[Is that you, ben burch?]

OPOL is pissed off, and that's a good thing, because we need to be pissed off. Activists do some of their best work when they're pissed off.

[And when writing under the influence of acid.]

I think it falls under the 'talk truth to power' solution. Or maybe raging against the machine, maybe howling at the moon.

[Mostly the latter.]

It is a putdown of America, in whole. I wouldn't have a problem if the diary had a tone along the lines of, "Even though we've done a lot of wrong in our history, we're still a great country because of...". Tell me what this accomplishes? All it does is preach to the choir in an inflammatory manner. And it doesn't really give much of an impression that the diarist cares much about fixing the country. To what ideal does he want it fixed? He sure as hell doesn't give any answers.

[LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]

Critical thinking is bullshit!

[The motto of KOmmieland.]

I just returned from my 3 mile power walk... hoping I might shed some of the memories this diary brought to the surface. People in the park must have thought I was madman, walking as fast I could with tears streaming down my face, all the while mumbling to myself and singing that damn song!

[People in the park thought you were a madman merely for power walking. Why is it that ONLY liberals power walk? It is the NERDIEST form of excercise imaginable what with the exaggeraged long steps and the arms swinging high into the air grasping the power walk weights. A lot of folks think it was the DUkakis tank ride in the Snoopy cap that was his undoing in the 1988 election. It really happened a few weeks earlier when a TV camera caught DUkakis power walking outdoors. From that point on, his poll numbers began a steep decline. ANYBODY power walking will meet with public disdain. And rightly so. It's even worse than wearing a waist pack in public.]

Malcolm X was also killed in 1965, after his visit to Mecca.

[Killed by MUzzies.]

And as far as these diaries not being constructive or making we Kossacks look like anti-Americans, I do indeed call bullshit. America needs to look hard in the mirror, expel these demons, accept them for what they are, and then start the healing!

[KOmmies as exorcists. Somehow it does NOT compute.]

How does one read this as not anti-American?

[Good question you LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]

When I was trying to get back to sleep after letting the dog out in the middle of the night last night, Abraham, Martin and John was running through my head and I suddenly realized that the same people who were in charge then are in charge now (not for Abraham, of course). I must have been channeling OPOL. My almost 80 yo mother is hoping that RFK Jr. won't ever decide to run for office because she is afraid he wouldn't live through it.

[The people in charge then (1960s) were DEMOCRATS. They were in charge of the White House, House, and Senate. And my mother is hoping that RFK Jr. won't ever decide to run for office because she is afraid his stammering voice wouldn't live through it.]

For Ginsberg, who was in a long term adult relationship with Peter Orlovsky, his NAMBLA membership has been explained in the book Screaming With Joy as a free speech issue. There is no evidence that Ginsberg was himself a pedophile, and it is unfortunate that his reputation is tainted with this association - it's not unlike associating Ted Kennedy with Chappaquiddick, or John Kerry with "Hanoi" Jane Fonda

[GASP! What a bizarre association to make! Who could ever possibly associate Ted Kennedy with Chappaqiddick?]

Patriotism to a flag is dangerous, while patriotism to a country adhering to basic fundamental American values can set us free.

[I guess the concept of a flag as a SYMBOL of the country is a bit too complex for this KOmmie.]

Consumerism is bullshit. Buying a bunch of bullshit from bullshit stores who pay bullshit wages when all that happens is the collective accumulation of more bullshit when people in this country are still sleeping in plastic bags and boxes is f*cking bullshit and it pisses me off.

[Barnes & Noble where John Edwards is signing his book is paying "bs" wages LESS than that of Wal-Mart.]

Cowboys were not wild and free. They were not free agents. They were industrial workers. Poorly paid. With horrible working conditions. And no benefits. They were only free to quit. And possibly starve, or turn to crime. The reality is that they were on a level with the man on the factory floor. Except they got to ride a horse. Yipppe aye oh kai ay.

[They should have formed an International Cow Workers Union.]

This diary is such a load of smelly bullshit. I don't know if you ever seen Soviet propaganda of what America is like, but it doesn't look much different than this. What this diary tells me about the diarist is how much he/she lives in a pampered little world where you can be a little spoiled brat and look at the shiny new red Dodge Viper your parents got you and say you hate your family because it's not black. I don't think people in the floodplains of Bangladesh have the privilege of writing diaries saying 'Calling Bullshit on Bangladesh', or a 12 year old boy who had their hands chopped off in civil war in Liberia is going to go online and write a diary 'Calling Bullshit on Liberia', or a 10 year old girl in Uganda who is kidnapped and turned into a rebel army's sex slave can write a diary 'Calling Bullshit on Uganda'. But a spoiled brat in the US can go online and write this little emotional tantrum.

[Prepare for your KOmmie Tombstoning ceremony.]

Seriously, do you wake up each morning trying to figure out how to be even more over the top and shrill? Because while your first few diaries were intriguing, this is fast becoming self-parody. Here's what I get out of these things -- you are angry and a lot of people like pictures. That's pretty much it.
If the point is to "take your country back", then I fail to see how any of this is constructive or in any way furthers that goal. If the point is merely to show how angry you are, then congrats. Mission accomplished. I get it. You're angry. I'll be interested in seeing how you funnel that anger into something constructive. Because the "I'm sooooo angry!!!!!" thing is really starting to get old.

[That was Head KOmmie Kos, worried about this diary from the PR POV. Too late, Kos, we know where you and your fellow KOmmies are REALLY coming from.]

i see your point however kos i see this everywhere. his rage is certainly rightful, as are the rest of us, but what other ways are there to change things and be constructive when you are but one person? how does one person turn everything that is going down the shitter in this country around? his anger is a reflection for hope. at least that's what i gather.

[A KOmmie telling Kos that One Pissed Off Liberal REALLY does speak for the KOmmies which he does.]

Kos, if you post some negative comment for a diarist, it would be called as an abusive power of the landlord. Especially in this case OPOL has done nothing wrong here.

[OPOL speaks for most KOmmies and even for Head KOmmie Kos...if he dares to admit it.]

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Monday, November 27, 2006

"Al From is a cancer on the Democratic Party"

It's du Sextidi de Frimaire and already the Democrat Jacobins are in the midst of their Reign of Terror of sending their own Girondists to the metaphorical guillotine. The object of their wrath in this case is Al From of the Democratic Leadership Council. So how bad do the DUmmies want to purge From and the DLC Girondists from their party? The title of this DUmmie THREAD will give you a hint: "Al From is a cancer on the Democratic Party." So let us now watch the Democrats begin their internal Reign of Terror in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, who just might or might not be the Scarlet Pimpernel, is in the [brackets]:

Al From is a cancer on the Democratic Party

[A counter-revolutionary! The National Constituent Assembly has spoken. No need for trial. To the guillotine!]

The DLC is the reason that the Democrats lost the Congress in 1994 and were unable to get it back until this year. His brand of 'don't rock the boat and let's go collect some of that good corporate money' nearly destroyed the Democrats.

[A DUmmie Robespierre reads off the charges against Al From and the DLC Gironists.]

His pathetic attempts to try and swoop in and claim credit for the win in the 2006 midterms is disgusting. That man is part of the reason that we went to war in Iraq and that some Dems didn't push hard enough to oppose Bush in both his terms.

[Let the purges begin!]

The DLC should be eliminated. It is a cancer on the Democratic Party. It whorishly panders to the corporate world and explains itself by saying that if it fattens up the table of corporate America long enough, the people of this country might just catch a few crumbs as they fall off the table.

[Eliminate the DLC by the Ninth of Thermidore!]

From is an example of a politician who knows nothing, stands for nothing and serves nothing but greed and deception. The sooner we expunge bastards like that from the Democratic Party, the sooner we can start to concentrate on programs that actually help working America.

What a lying, two-faced, incompetent, bullying piece of shit bastard. I hope he burns in hell with the rest of the 'do nothing, cuz it might offend someone, someday' wing of the Democratic Party.

[So does this mean you don't like Al From? And now to hear from the rest of the DUmmie Jacobins...]

I watched "So the Nation goes" last night on the IFC On Demand. I was screaming at the TV and giving the finger to Begala and McAwful. My god I never heard such shit in my life. Of course it was all Kerry's fault, lame bastards. Of course they brought up how f*cking good Clinton was, but didn't mention that he only won with 43% of the vote.

[Democrat factionalism is FUn to watch!]

I hate the DLC. They are bastards. They never take a stand on anything, except when it makes a few friends richer. They can't support a withdrawal from Iraq, but that might be a risk. They are for unrestrictive free trade, cuz it's good for their rich friends and so forth. I have just had it with their inability to take a stand on anything.

[My pet DUmmie Ants are going to be VERY entertaining when Hillary wins primary after primary in '08.]

They have a phone number. Shall we organize a phone tree. We take turns, one or two of us calls them every day to point out how wrong they are about given topic of the day. ????

["Hello DLC! You are WRONG! I hate you!!!"]

Our only true hope is for a real Independent to run that echoes our cause and still appeals to the more moderate or conservative that dwell among us. I do find it sickening that they (From, Rahl, Carvelle, etc.) have to try and diminish others to elevate themselves.

[Bow before the Goddess Hillary!]

Make no mistake, my view of the DLC is derisive because of their corrosive effect on the body politic and triumphalism and political authoritarianism.

[Make no mistake, your view of the DLC is highly entertaining in its paranoia.]

Dean is an independent DNC chair, not under the sway of the Clintons. Unlike Ron Brown, who guided the DNC toward a Clinton victory in 1992, Dean doesn’t play the usual power games. Hence, the Clintons would like him out, and the sooner the better. Carville, Greenberg, and Emmanuel, (DLC) among others, are doing their bidding.

[Howard Dean better stay away from Fort Marcy Park.]

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p.s. Check out what one of our happy customers had to SAY about the amazing helicopter kite.

Saturday, November 25, 2006

Katie Couric Interviews Mark Foley's Priest

This is the latest in my series of blatant self-shilling for the position of writer on the Fox News comedy show due to air soon. In this attempt at self-promotion, I revisit the Katie Couric interview with Mark Foley's priest. I watched it when it first aired and was shocked at how much clinical detail it got into on a national news show. Therefore, with only slight exaggeration, I revisit that interview with this skit. And, yeah, I know this material is somewhat dated but ANYTHING I post now would be dated by the time the Fox News comedy show airs so it might as well be outdated with this Couric interview which I found to be AMAZING...

(Katie Couric is standing at the set of her CBS news show. She is interviewing the voice of Mark Foley's priest, Rev. Anthony Mercieca, whom we hear on a phone line.)

KATIE COURIC: Father, I understand that you have told a Florida newspaper that you did have an intimate two-year relationship with former Congressman Mark Foley when he was a teenage altar boy? Can you describe that relationship for us?

REV. ANTHONY MERCIECA: Yeah, we used to go out together to the games, when I, when my time permitted, you know? And we used to go to the ballgames and to the wrestling matches together and we used to go eat out.

KC: And this was in Lakeworth, Florida?

AM: Yes. Yes.

KC: But when the relationship is described as intimate, what exactly does that mean to you, Father?

AM: Well, intimate, it's like when you are with your brother or so, you know. Like you don't have any, any ... it's like when you are with a member with your family, you know? You don't ... you're really joyous and that's it, you know?

KC: In this article, you described a number of encounters that you believe might, Mark Foley might have misconstrued as sexually inappropriate. Can you describe some of those for us?

AM: No we used to go to the sauna bath, you know, there was a Finnish community there in Lakeworth and we used to go there to take a bath, you know. And maybe at the park, you know, you would jump in the lake, you know. And there was no one.

KC: So you're saying you went skinny-dipping together, you took saunas together. According to this newspaper account, it also says that you massaged him when he was naked, and you were naked in the same room on overnight trips?

AM: We used to do, like the athletes you know, he'll stay with his towel on and go on the bench and I will massage his neck and his back, you know. Like they do to athletes, you know?

KC: Father, you don't think that was inappropriate behavior for a priest and a teenage altar boy? People hearing this, even if it was innocent, would think it at the very least creepy and at the very most highly inappropriate?

AM: Massage parlors exist, you know. I don't know, so ...

KC: According to this article, you claim that once when you were in a drug-induced stupor, there was an incident that happened that you could not or cannot clearly remember that might have gone too far. Can you tell us what you mean by that and what you do remember from that encounter?

AM: I had taken some pills, had taken some alcohol and sort of ... that was drugs, not that we used drugs. You know?

KC: And what happened?

AM: That's what I can't remember, you know. And I guess that's what maybe Mark is thinking that was something bad.

KC: And what do you believe might have happened?

AM: I can't say, you know. If you are out ...

KC: Are you still claiming that these encounters were all perfectly innocent?

AM: Well I mean at the time we didn't think they were malicious, you know?

KC: I'm not talking about malicious, were they inappropriate in your view?

AM: It was maybe more spontaneous ...

KC: Did you ever massage Mark Foley on the inside of his thighs.

AM: No, never. Okay, maybe once or twice I did massage the inside of his thighs.

KC: How about his buttocks?

AM: Mark had very well developed buttocks.

KC: I mean did you ever massage his buttocks?

AM: No, never. Okay maybe once or twice.

KC: Did you use hot rubbing oils to massage the inside of his thighs and his hot young buttocks?

AM: It might have been olive oil.

KC (groaning): Oh my God! That sounds soooo sexy! Did you whisper to Mark while rubbing him with hot olive oil?

AM: No, never. Okay maybe once or twice.

(Katie is moaning in ecstasy and is rubbing herself excitedly.)

KC: OH! OH! OH! I've haven't been this turned on since I was anally probed with a colonoscopy tube!

AM: I absolutely deny that I ever anally probed young Mark with a tube!

KC: Thank you for this interview, Father. Ooooooh! Oooooh!

(Katie continues moaning and rubbing herself, completely oblivious to the fact that she anchoring a national network news broadcast. After about ten seconds of moaning in ecstasy, Katie suddenly snaps out of it and returns to normal as if nothing happened.)

KC: After the break, we take an in-depth look at Brad & Angelina's latest excursion to a Third World country.

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p.s. Check out what one of our happy customers had to SAY about the amazing helicopter kite.

Friday, November 24, 2006

"Pelosi wants to pick Alcee Hastings for Intel char?"

Have you ever had a teacher in school who was just so flat out nuts that her/his decisions made no sense whatever? I know I did. In the ninth grade I had a wacko Spanish teacher who perceived all sorts of minor slights she was receiving from both the school and society in general. She never ceased blabbering about how horrible the USA was and how WONDERFUL Fidel's Cuba was in comparison. What made this especially NUttie is that the teacher was a Cuban-American. Anyway, we students kept telling her that if she thought things were so great in Cuba then maybe she should move there. Guess what? That is exactly what she did. One day a new Spanish teacher showed up in class and informed us that the previous teacher had split for Cuba. Sometime after that we found out the Cuban government quickly imprisoned her because there could be no way a Cuban from the states would move to Cuba out of love for that Communist regime. They figured that she had to be some sort of spy. What they didn't factor in was the nuttiness element in that the this teacher moved to Cuba for the simple reason that she was FLAT OUT NUTS!!! This is also the way to analyze the recent maneuverings of the incoming Speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi. Don't look for any complicated political motiviations behind her actions. Instead she is making really lousy decisions because, like my former Spanish teacher, Pelosi is FLAT OUT NUTS!!! I mean how else to describe her fervent opposition to the election of Steny Hoyer to the point of threating Democrat House members who voted for him instead of her personal choice, the ABSCAM corrupt Jack Murtha? It seems that Hoyer and Pelosi were Capitol Hill interns together over 40 years ago and something must have happened to push Pelosi over the edge where Hoyer was concerned. Was it a date gone bad or simply that Pelosi felt threatened by Hoyer's ambition? Who knows but what is a fact is that her Hoyer Hate caused Pelosi to act completely irrationally. And now we come to an even more crazy maneuver on the part of Pelosi. Instead of supporting Jane Harman, the ranking Democrat member of the House Intelligence Committee, as the Chair of that Committee, Pelosi is supporting the formerly impeached Alcee Hastings for that slot. So what was Jane Harman's "crime" that made Pelosi HATE her so much that she is about to make yet another crazy decision? It could well be something completely trivial like maybe Harman walked into Congress one day wearing the same type of dress as Pelosi. Even the DUmmies are astounded by Pelosi's total irrationality as you can see in this THREAD titled, "Pelosi wants to pick Alcee Hastings for Intel char? Are you F*CKING KIDDING ME?." The misspelled "char" is, ironically, the correct word to use since Pelosi will be charring the reputation of the Democrats with her choice for chair. BTW, Pelosi herself voted to impeach Hastings years ago but I guess her irrational Harmon Hate overrides any objections to corruption as we saw in her Hoyer Hate episode. So let us now watch the DUmmie jaws drop as they look on in Bolshevik Red at Nancy Pelosi charring the Congressional Democrats while the commentary of your humble correspondent, noting that the teacher replacing my NUttie Spanish teacher turned out to be equally NUttie, is in the [brackets]:

Pelosi wants to pick Alcee Hastings for Intel char? Are you F*CKING KIDDING ME?

[She wanted a great encore for her comedy act of supporting corrupt Jack Murtha as Majority Leader.]

Just heard a blip about this. Did I hear right?

[You have to hear it more than once since it is so hard to believe.]

I thought Jane Harmon was the ranking member. Not sure about this though.

[I don't know about Jane Harmon but Jane HARMAN is the ranking member on that committee.]

can she remove both Harman and Hastings from the committee? that might be the best thing to do if possible.

[That would be the best thing to do from the standpoint of Republicans.]

Any reason she couldn't bring in Dennis Kucinich? That would be rich.

[That would be hilarious.]

what specifically do you have against him? I'm curious.

effin' crook. f*ck 'im.

[Hastings or Murtha?]

Was Hastings removed, or was this the only impeachment of him and the impeachment resulted in an acquittal?

Impeached AND removed by a democratic congress.

[And then voted into Congress to join the Democrats who hailed him as one of their own.]

"When the House impeached federal judge Alcee Hastings in 1989, 16 of the 17 counts had to do with a bribery allegation dating to 1981, as we detailed yesterday. But one count was different, the National Review's Byron York noted a few days ago, and it cuts to the very core of whether Hastings is suitable to chair the House intelligence committee."

[Pelosi's Harman Hate must be burning red hot to support the impeached Hastings.]

Thank you, much appreciated. We mustn't ignore the 16 counts. Saying, "Oh, but he was acquitted unanimously on the 17th on weak evidence"... good lord.

[Aw give the guy a break. Being guilty on only 16 out of 17 counts isn't so bad.]

I trust Pelosi enough to think she knows what she's doing structuring the house the way she wants, and I don't think (as the M$M media is reporting) her problems with Harman or Hoyer have to do with "Jealousy" or "bad blood". Bullshit.

[I BEEEEEEELEEEEEEVE in Nancy Pelosi's rationality!!!]

So much for the "cleanest Congress in history"

[And this DUmmie WINS a Kewpie Doll for having a brief moment of mental clarity!]

Look, it doesn't matter a whit whether he was innocent. Public perception counts, and installing him as chair would be a fucking disaster. It doesn't take much in the way of brains to figure that out, sherlock. Harman is also tainted, but Reyes is third in line and there's also Rush Holt.

[And Bozo the Clown is also waiting in the wings.]

Public perception COUNTS. Call Pelosi's office about this! We cannot allow this to stand.

[Please don't ruin the comedy act.]

the public is never going to get beyond the FACT that Hastings was impeached and removed from the fed judiciary by Congress, and a dem congress at that.

[Yeah, the public does seem to be petty over trivial matters like that.]

In 1989, the Democratic-controlled U.S. House of Representatives took up the case, and Hastings was impeached for bribery and perjury by a vote of 413-3. Voters to impeach included Reps. Nancy Pelosi, Steny Hoyer, John Conyers and Charles Rangel. He was then convicted by the United States Senate, becoming the sixth Judge in the history of the United States to be removed from office by the Senate. The Senate had the option to forbid Hastings from ever seeking federal office again, but did not do so. Alleged co-conspirator William Borders went to jail again for refusing to testify in the impeachment proceedings, but was later given a full pardon by Bill Clinton during the end of his Presidency.

[And who got the sudden uptick in his bank account for that pardon? Billy's brother or one of Hillary's brothers?]

My questions are: Why did Clinton pardon Borders? How did Hastings become a member of Congress four years after impeachment? How is it that he has been sitting on these committees for over a decade with no flap?

[Answers: $$$$, stupid voters, and supportive Democrats.]

The Democrats need someone who is 1. Clean. 2.Clearly willing to stand up to Bush and 3.Qualified to do the job.

[You'll only be able to find someone who can meet criteria #2.]

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p.s. Check out what one of our happy customers had to SAY about the amazing helicopter kite.

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Steny Hoyer Seeks Protection Help From The Godfather

Since Fox News is planning a new comedy show, I will occasionally be posting skit ideas as part of a blatant shilling attempt to get a writing position with that show. This is the first of my self-promoting attempts. I got the basic premise of this idea from Rush Limbaugh who recently speculated that with Steny Hoyer seeking protection for his supporters against the wrath of Nancy Pelosi, that it sounded like the Mafia was running the Congress. In that spirit, I now present a satirical script in which Hoyer seeks help from the Godfather in protecting his supporters...

(Steny Hoyer enters the office of Don Vito Corleone. He kisses the ring on the Godfather's hand and sits down.)

CORLEONE: We've known each other many years, but this is the first time you came to me for counsel, for help. I can't remember the last time that you invited me to your house for a cup of coffee, even though my wife is godmother to your only child. But let's be frank here: you never wanted my friendship. And uh, you were afraid to be in my debt.

HOYER: I didn't want to get into trouble.

CORLEONE: I understand. You found paradise in Congress, had a safe seat, made a good living. The Capitol police protected you; and there were courts of law. And you didn't need a friend of me. But uh, now you come to me and you say -- "Don Corleone give me justice." -- But you don't ask with respect. You don't offer friendship. You don't even think to call me Godfather. Instead, you come into my house on the day my daughter is to be married, and you uh ask me to do protection, for money.

HOYER: I ask you for justice. My supporters will suffer greatly at the hands of the Evil Lady, Nancy Pelosi.

CORLEONE: But your supporters are still alive.

HOYER: She will make them suffer. Please, she must suffer as she has threatened to make my supporters suffer or else she must be made to disappear...How much shall I pay you?

CORLEONE: Steny...Steny... What have I ever done to make you treat me so disrespectfully? Had you come to me in friendship, then this scum that threatened your supporters would be suffering this very day. And that by chance if an honest man such as yourself should make enemies, then they would become my enemies. And then they would fear you.

HOYER (bowing and kissing hand): Be my friend -- Godfather?

CORLEONE: Good... Some day, and that day may never come, I'll call upon you to do a service for me. But uh, until that day -- accept this justice as a gift on my daughter's wedding day.

HOYER (leaving office): Grazie, Godfather.

CORLEONE (to Tom Hagen): Give this brown bag of $50,000 to Murtha. I want reliable people; people that aren't gonna be carried away and can redeploy Pelosi safely far away from Congress.

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p.s. Check out what one of our happy customers had to SAY about the amazing helicopter kite.

"Rangel needs to be taken out in the 2008 primary"

Remember when Congressman Charles Rangel introduced a proposal in 2003 to re-instate the draft? When it came to a vote, Rangel voted AGAINST his own draft bill. If you thought Rangel's draft proposal was nothing more than a cheap publicity stunt, you would not be wrong. Of course, Rangel was in the minority party back then. However, now that the Democrats are in the majority in Congress, Rangel has proposed the SAME cheap publicity stunt over the draft again only to be slapped down by Nancy Pelosi who publicly nixed the idea. Keep in mind that Charles Rangel is not just some ordinary forgettable congressman who can be allowed to fade into obscurity. Rangel is now the incoming Chairman of the House Ways and Means Committee which is perhaps the most powerful committee in Congress. If he keeps up such antics, Congressman Rangel is sure to provide some GREAT material for the DUmmie FUnnies in the near future for which we heartily thank him. Of course, what is good for the DUmmie FUnnies is BAD for the DUmmies as you can see in this threatening THREAD titled, "Rangel needs to be taken out in the 2008 primary." So let us now watch the DUmmies slam Rangel for making the Democrats look like, well, DUmmies in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, thanking the Congressman for the many laughs he is sure to provide for the next couple of years, is in the [brackets]:

Rangel needs to be taken out in the 2008 primary

[Good luck. You would would have a better chance of catching a leperchaun.]

If he doesn't quit pulling this crap he has to be removed. He's only hurting the party now, so let's get rid of him. We don't need idiots in high ranking positions who hand the Repukes a great issue on a silver platter.

[No. No. We need Charles Rangel right where he is as the CHAIRMAN of the House Ways and Means Committee. Why would you want to ruin our comedic entertainment?]

It's an anti-war tactic. Why is that so hard for people to understand? It puts the pro-war idiots on the spot and makes people think.

[You call it a tactic but most call it a stunt.]

Then why not propose a bill to cut off funds for the war instead? Or to demand a time table for withdrawl? THE MAJORITY IS ALREADY ANTI-WAR. That's why we won our majority. Now let's actally try to KEEP it instead of scaring voters off. Anything that helps the Repukes electoral-wise is stupid, and this is it. DUMP RANGEL.

[Rangel '08. Keep him in place in order to continue embarrassing the Democrats.]

I think he's just trying to shake the American conscientiousness up.

[By providing belly laughs. Rangel supported his own draft bill...until he voted against his own draft bill.]

Because proposing to cut off funding for our troops will GUARANTEE the...Democrats will lose their majority come 2008, and perpetuate the lie that Democrats can't be trusted with national security. Do you want that?

[Yup!]

For the same reason Republicans put forth the proposal to withdraw troops immediately. They forced the Democrats' hand and that was probably a large part of Rangel's intent.

[Thanx again, Charlie!]

Ever hear of "support the troops"? If funds are cut, then the repukes and whore media will spin it and SUCCEED in saying that the dems don't support our troops... That's an even crazier idea and will NEVER pass...

[Now that the Democrats are in the majority they are in a "damned if you do and damned if you don't" situation. The result is starting to look like they don't know what to do. And who says the election results were all bad news? It is going to be FUn to watch the Democrats twist every which way for the next couple of years.]

Maybe Rangel will have the balls to vote in favor of his own stupidity this time Or, maybe not. Again. This is just plain stupid. Just cut off the f*cking funds.

[Or, maybe not.]

Thank God Charlie Rangel doesn't turn to DU for guidance.

[It sounds like he already does.]

Rangel is a f*cking idiot. He should focus on actually ending the war instead of scaring people to get them anti-war when the majority already is anti-war.

[I wonder if this DUmmie has the guts to campaign against Rangel in Harlem in '08 and call him that.]

Know anyone in the 15th district which includes Harlem, who would vote against him? Not me...

[And this DUmmie wins a Kewpie Doll for having a brief moment of mental clarity!]

My Republican father...tried pulling this crap today, telling my 14 yr old son, "the liberals are trying to bring back the draft". I overheard him, and just about blew a gasket. The 'liberals' consist of Charlie Rangel, JUST Charlie Rangel. And I find it the height of irony that those who supported this illegal war launched by a pack of criminals based on lies now want to make hay over someone saying that ALL the people of this country should be expected to make sacrifices. What exactly WON'T Republicans stoop to? And just how in the hell is anyone supposed to believe there are any Republican that aren't anything but corrupt, selfish pricks when even those that tout themselves as 'moderate' and 'rational' spout such utter White House issued bullshit talking points. And this isn't the first time Rangel has proposed this, so why in the hell is everyone getting their diapers in a bunch now?

[Methinks you need to do a diaper check on yourself.]

Unless you are truly prepared to vote FOR a draft, it's an idiotic topic. Otherwise, you are creating fodder for the fools on the right. Someone tell me specifically which Democrats are going to vote FOR a draft. We all know the answer is nobody. So why even open up this can of worms? We just look stupid. I can't believe Rangel is pulling this bullshit play again. Just de-fund the war. I guess that is too direct an approach for a "genius" like Rangel.

[Even Charlie Rangel won't vote for his own draft bill.]

The topic of "de-funding" is worse than a topic leading to a discussion of shared sacrifice when it comes to war. "De-funding" would be sold as leaving troops on the battlefield naked and defenseless.

[DUmmiecrats twisting themselves into pretzels not knowing which way to turn. This will be the theme in Congress for the next two years.[

De-funding would also keep them alive at home. I can live with that. But keep pushing for the draft, America's moms will love us for it in '08.

[De-fund or draft? Draft or de-fund? What DO we do other than twist ourselves helplessly into pretzels?]

and abandoning them on the battlefield won't?....because...
that is exactly how it will be sold to the American people.....just remember Kerry's 87 billion dollar vote comments.

[John Kerry voted for the 87 billion before he...well, you know the rest.]

Rangel was elected with 94 percent of the vote. That's right ninety-four percent.

[And the other 6 percent were confused by the butterfly ballot.]

It's funny how all of these DU Primary Warriors never live in the district of the politician they want to take out.

[So FUnnie that I am wiping back the tears from the bellylaugh.]

Counterrevolutionary elements must be purged for the good of the people! All hail the glorious people's revolution!

[The DUmmiecrats Disunited,
Will always be Defeated!]

(You can now access the DUmmie FUnnies simply by typing "DUmmieFUnnies.Com" into your URL address box.)

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p.s. Check out what one of our happy customers had to SAY about the amazing helicopter kite.

Saturday, November 18, 2006

"IT'S GOT TO BE SECRETLY BOUGHT"

(A little change of format in this edition of the DUmmie FUnnies... In yesterday's EDITION of the DUmmie FUnnies I noted that John Edwards' 6 year-old son had to be carefully taught to make fun of poorer kids for wearing shoes sold at Wal-Mart. I suggested that a certain Lutheran songmeister write a song parody on this theme based on the tune of You've Got To Be Carefully Taught from the musical play, "South Pacific." I was referring, of course, to Charles Henrickson a Lutheran minister from St. Louis who has a penchant for writing song parodies, the number of which are legion. Well, even Charles exceeded my expectations with this TERRIFIC song parody titled, "IT'S GOT TO BE SECRETLY BOUGHT." I am sure you will agree that this HILARIOUS song parody MUST be given the widest play possible. It would be perfect for play on radio talk shows such as Rush Limbaugh, Laura Ingraham, Sean Hannity, etc.. So without further adieu, I now present Henrickson's "IT'S GOT TO BE SECRETLY BOUGHT.")

You've got to be taught to use your fame
Your wealth and your power to get a game
But it's got to be done without harming your name--
It's got to be secretly bought.

You've got to be taught to scorn and scold
Those people whose shoes are cheaply sold
At Wal-Mart, whose heart is so corporate cold--
You've got to be duly distraught.

You've got to be taught to not stand in line
Before you are six or seven or nine
To act like John Edwards and think you're so fine--
You've got to get more than you ought!
You've got to be carefully taught.

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Friday, November 17, 2006

John Edwards Sacrifices Political Future For A Playstation 3

This past month has seen the political destruction of the Kerry/Edwards team of 2004. First John Kerry told a stupid Halloween "joke" about how if you don't get educated you end up "stuck" in Iraq. As a result of the uproar over this backfired joke, Kerry's chances of being nominated in 2008 now range somewhere between nil and none. And just this week, his VP pick, John Edwards, administered a lethal injection to his political career in a way astonishing in its utter hypocrisy. Just the day after Edwards gave a speech denouncing Wal-Mart to an group opposed to that store, he dispatched one of his volunteer gofers to Wal-Mart to get first dibs on a Playstation 3. Wal-Mart then responded to this request by stating that Edwards would have to wait on line like everybody else. Added to this hypocrisy is that fact that Edwards, while criticising Wal-Mart for its wage levels pays his "volunteer" NOTHING. Yes, here is a multi-millionaire who is too cheap to pay folks who work for him even the bare minimum wage by taking advantage of political wannabees and making them work for the mighty Edwards for nothing. Nice racket there, John. Maybe some volunteer would like to get in on the ground floor of the burgeoning DUmmie FUnnies empire by painting my walls for free. Oh, and don't forget to install my carpeting without charge afterwards. As a result of all this hypocrisy, we have a lot of outrage emanating from the leftwing blogosphere directed towards Wal-Mart. I kid you not. Yes, the leftwing loons are angry that Wal-Mart dared to tell Edwards to wait on line like the other folks. What do they want Wal-Mart to do? Give priority to Edwards' no-wage volunteer after the ex-senator has made a mini-career out of slamming Wal-Mart? You can see the leftwing outrage at Wal-Mart for daring to tell Edwards to wait on line for the Playstation 3 like everybody else in this HUffington Post BLOG titled "Wal-Mart Engineers a Smear of Edwards," which was authored by a loon called Dave Johnson. The hypocritical rantings of Johnson and his fellow HUffies are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, whose playstation experience never went beyond Pac-Man, is in the [brackets]:

Wal-Mart Engineers a Smear of Edwards

[How DARE they tell John Edwards to wait on line like everybody else!]

Wal-Mart has a smear out on John Edwards. What is striking about the smear is the way a corporation feels free to publicize something that a customer did, and to use it as a flat-out, blatant, organized smear campaign. It is starting to appear on all the usual right-wing outlets, and may soon be as widespread as the pre-election Kerry "insulted the troops" smear.

[Let's see. John Edwards has been making a political career out of slamming Wal-Mart so when he hypocritically has his no-wage gofer ask that company for first dibs on a Playstation 3 it is somehow a smear for Wal-Mart to tell Edwards he has to wait like the "other" America.]

From the story, Edwards acknowledges staff asked Wal-Mart for Playstation 3.

[By cowardly blaming it all on his no-wage gofer.]

"Former North Carolina Sen. John Edwards acknowledged Thursday that amid his criticism of Wal-Mart Stores Inc., a volunteer member of his staff asked the world's largest retailer for help obtaining a hot new Sony Playstation 3 for Edwards' family."

["Former North Carolina Sen. John Edwards acknowledged Thursday that he is a complete hypocrite who doesn't even pay his workers ANYTHING.]

According to the article, a volunteer called a local Wal-Mart, on his own, and used Edwards' name. Wal-Mart takes this information and turns it into a national smear, right out of its corporate headquarters.

[John Edwards is allowed free reign to slam Wal-Mart but God forbid that Wal-Mart point out that Edwards is acting like a complete hypocrite.]

"While the rest of America's working families are waiting patiently in line, Sen. Edwards wants to cut to the front," the Wal-Mart statement said."

[Kudos to Wal-Mart for pointing out the TRUTH!]

That is an official Wal-Mart statement! Have you ever heard anything like that from a company? Is this the business Wal-Mart is in? What right does a corporation have to issue a statement like that about any citizen?

[GASP! What right does a corporation have to point out the FACT that one of its major critics is a complete hypocrite!]

Is this a company that ought to have its right to operate examined, or what?

[Meanwhile any examination of John Edwards' rank hypocrisy is strictly forbidden. And now to hear from Johnson's fellow HUffies...]

Nice of Walmart to blow something stupid (edwards did allow his staffer to do something stupid)out of proportion so to take 1 person out of the presidential competition. Edawards was suppsoedly going to announce within the next couple of weeks.

[Kiss your nomination goodbye, Edwards. It was sacrificed on the altar of the Playstation 3.]

can't we give wal-mart to china? hey folks sen. edwards is a threat to corporate america. they can't swift boat the man so they come out with this stuff. i would publisize this behavior on the front page of every news paper in the country ad take adds out on every media network available. i think the public now has its bull shit detectors out. if these corporate idiots can feel this good about themselves i hope that they and cnbc are happy with the results

[I would also publicize this behavior on the front page of every newspaper in the country. Let everybody find out what a complete hypocrite John Edwards is.]

Well, my first thought is that his staffer was trying to snag one for himself and used Edwards' name to get it. John Edwards has the money to buy a PS3, he's an intelligent mature man and a lawyer. I cannot see him risking his future for a freaking video game.

[His greed got the best of him. Remember this is a multi-millionaire who takes advantage of free labor. You can't get any cheaper than that.]

So...wait...Edwards can criticize Walmart and ask them for special treatment, but Walmart can't criticize John Edwards? That's rich.

[BINGO!]

Don't shop at Wal-Mart! It's the patriotic thing to do.

[Then quit asking for first dibs on their Playstation 3.]

I'll bet if he asked for a large campaign donation in return for his services they would have kept quiet.

[Ah! The old Jesse Jackson routine.]

A major political figure, Edwards, is trashing Wal-Mart, and proves to be a total hypocrite. Wal-Mart is doing the American people a favor by pointing this out - the people need to know. Someone should renominate Wal-Mart for a Nobel. Seriously, this shows they are being good corporate citizens.

[Didn't South Park proclaim John Edwards to be the biggest douchebag in the universe?]

The most that should have come out of this is why would anybody working for John Edwards consider shopping at Wal-mart? I hope he was fired.

[Can a volunteer slave really be fired?]

What is disgusting to me, if you read the whole Edwards rant, is that he has already taught his 6 year old to make fun of poor kids who have to buy shoes at discount stores. His hypocracy over the PS3 Wal-mart incident pales in the face of the boorish snobbery in his child which he is so proud of.

[For a 6 year old kid to even have that level of snobbishness, he has to be carefully taught. Somehow I think it is time to update that song from South Pacific---"You've Got To Be Carefully Taught." ...Calling a certain Lutheran songmeister!!!]

Walmart pays its top execs extremely well. those poor folk at the bottom? -well they just ought to be damnright thankful for walmart- without walmart they would have nothing at all -at least so say they well paid execs.

[At least they are PAID. How much does an Edwards worker at the bottom earn?---NADA!]

How is it a smear? His staff tried to get WalMart to sell a playstation ahead of others, using his name and position to force the issue. There are certainly two Americas: the one Edwards lives in and the other one that stands in line and waits its turn. Good for Wal Mart for showing us that our politicans are hypocritical. Two Americas indeed. Edwards is a multi-millionare pretending to be a common man.

[BINGO!]

They are quaking in their boots at the thought of health insurance, decent wages for their workers and...

[You mean like decent wages for Edwards workers who are paid NOTHING?]

OK, where's the organized emailing campaign to call WM out? Why isn't a link posted on this particular blog? When GM contracted Hannity as its spokestroll, a link was provided to register complaints, I did so, and engaged in a bit of dialog with their pr folks-which was actually rather intelligent in its tone. Thanks for calling attention to the attack, but we don't sit on our hands anymore. Provide the webtool and use the power of this site to take further action.

["Dear Wal-Mart---How DARE you point out the utter hypocrisy of John Edwards!"]

Having been around "staffers", some are terrific and others are what we refer to as "Children of the Corn". Hopefully the Senator will weed out the ones that are in it for the "winning" and not in it for the greater good. The Senator's work for minimum wage and making Wal-Mart accountable is beyond reproach. It takes courage to go against a giant like Wal-Mart and against all the multi-nationals. He's out there alone amongst the possible candidates. We need to watch his back, not snipe at him.

[When will Edwards pay at least a minimum wage to his "Children of the Corn" staffers?]

Wow, an entire presidential campaign destroyed by a video game system.

[Kiss goodbye to the Presidency, John. Well, at least you will have fun with your Playstation 3.]

Please, bang your head against a wall and knock a little sense into your brain. This isn't a scandal, it's a South Park plot.

[Hmmm... Maybe John Edwards could be Eric Cartman's secret father.]

I hope Edwards doesn't throw that poor vounteer to the wolves like the Democrats did to Murtha. I guess when your usefullness is gone, you can be political discarded.

[I hope Edwards throws a few bucks to that poor volunteer that he has previously NEVER paid.]

Did anyone bother to read the statement from the Edwards staff? The volunteer took it upon himself to call Wal-Mart. He used Mr. Edwards' name, hoping to snag one for himself in addition to getting one for the Edwards kids. IOW, Mr. Edwards knew nothing about it, and his spokeswomen denies that anyone was instructed to make the effort. That means that Wal-Mart's statement that "Mr. Edwards wants to cut in line" is not supported by any known fact. The volunteer acted selfishly, and screwed up.

[Evil selfish slave wage volunteer. It is ALL his fault!]

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Blowhard Jack Murtha Blogs Blather

Imagine the utter embarrassment and humiliation of Jack Murtha. On November 15, speaking about his bid to become House Majority Leader, he boasted to Chris Matthews on Hardball that "We’re going to win. We got the votes." The very next day that blowhard LOST by a large margin to his rival, Steny Hoyer, in that race. All Murtha got was a spot standing behind Nancy Pelosi and Hoyer as the latter's win was announced. The sour look on Blowhard Murtha's face was priceless since his expression did not hide the fact that he was ENRAGED over his loss. So after making a complete fool of himself in public what does he do? Well, other than hitting the bottle real hard the other option is to Blog like a blowhard on the HUffington Post which Murtha did HERE with a Blog titled, "Let's Get to Work." A more accurate title would be, "Let's Forget I Made An Utter Fool of Myself." So let us now watch Jack Murtha Blog blather along with comments from his fellow HUffies in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, thinking that Murtha's accuracy about Iraq is equally suspect, is in the [brackets]:

Let's Get to Work

[And you can start working on that bottle of Jack Daniels, Jack.]

While the most important thing in Washington, DC over the past few days has been an internal Party struggle, the American people never lost sight, even for a brief moment, of the most important conflict: Iraq. That's clear from the support of bloggers from across the country, phone calls and emails of support to my office and editorials in local papers endorsing our plan for change.

[An internal power struggle that you loudly bragged you would win...the day before you lost.]

I ran for Majority Leader to put the issue of Iraq front and center and to push as hard as I could to change our war strategy. Like you, many of my colleagues understood that this race was about delivering on our promise we made to the American people a little over a week ago.

[How about if we deliver to you a Jim Beam to go with the Jack Daniels?]

I am especially grateful for the support of our next House Speaker, and the first woman to hold the position, Nancy Pelosi. I just can't say enough nice things about her. And I congratulate Steny Hoyer and will work closely with him. While we didn't win, nothing has changed my commitment one bit.

[Thank you, Nancy Pelosi, for making a fool of yourself on my behalf.]

Don't get me wrong, other things matter too, such as ethics reforms and the Democrats' agenda, and I'm going to keep my promise to work hard with Speaker Pelosi and the Leadership to pass those as well.

[You mean like working on a Democrat ethics bill that you referred to as "total crap?"]

But Iraq is the key. Democrats won the election because we spoke up, and the real test of our leadership lies ahead. Thank you for your support, and now let's get to work.

[And now Jack Murtha will redeploy his beet red carcass to an Okinawan tavern as his fellow HUffies chime in...]

You da man, Representative Murtha.

[You da blowhard, Representative Murtha.]

Ethics counted - for most of your colleagues, anyway, if not for you and the speaker. When your party is elected to power on a platform of "no more business as usual", you better be sure that your party's leadership positions are filled by men and women of unimpeachable character and a spotless record on ethics. You failed on both counts, and you deserved to lose.

[But...but I thought all the charges of corruption were nothing but evil Republican swiftboating of our darling angel, Murtha.]

Dems win and you spend the first 4 days trying to stub the guy who helped you succeed in the back... Great work...

[The opening shots of the Democrat Civil War.]

Sorry you were lied to Mr Murtha. We saw it coming.
I wished you had stepped aside yesterday and just gave it to Hoyer rather than being lied to and embarrassing yourself and Ms. Pelosi.

[I'm not sorry. It's FUn to watch the Democrats humiliate themselves.]

Looks like AIPAC won again with Hoyer (over Murtha)

[The Protocols of the Elders of Neocon.]

When are you going to apologize to the troops (and America for that matter) for stripping them of their right to innocence until proven guilty?

[Jack Daniels Murtha is too full of himself to ever apologize for anything.]

Looks like AIPAC won again with Hoyer (over Murtha)

[You've already said that twice before my obsessed little HUffie. I sure hope that you don't find out that Murtha once got falling down drunk on a case of Manischewitz sweet Concord.]

You are a American patriot.Your party did not do you justice today or the past few days with cons swift boat routine.We all know politics is a blood sport but you would think the good guys could win at least one.

[Oh, I see. The DEMOCRATS vote down Murtha and it is all the fault of the "cons."]

USA is an EVIL EMPIRE !!!

[Because a corrupt drunken blowhard wasn't voted in as Majority Leader of the House.]

Congressman Murtha thank you for standing up against the Neocons within the Democratic Party, or as I like to say the Ehud Olmert wing of the Democratic Congress, the Bebe Netanyahu wing being on the GOP side. I will make a prediction tonight about the future of your party. If they keep making moves like they did on you today, and Ms. Pelosi, they are going to lose in '08.

[So what's the downside here?]

In all my hours and days and months and years, I never once heard the name Steny Hoyer. Too me, he looks like the kind of guy who would sell his own mother out, and I put him in a class of distrust right there with Lieberman. To me, Hoyer being put over you is a bad sign.

[Which means it must be a good sign.]

Nancy Pelosi, a poltically astute hardball player, knows Murtha does not have the votes and that the House is more moderate and conservative than liberal. She encourages him to run and offers her support. He loses as she knows he will. She sets him up for the fall. She comes out looking good and solely in the forefront of the House leadership with, instead of an anti-war hero overshadowing her leadership, a political hack like Hoyer who she can better control. I don't know if this is the case but Nancy is a brilliant politician.

[WOW! You portray Nancy Pelosi as coming out looking good by describing her as completely devious.]

Jack, you focus on re-deploying the troops out of harms way and I will focus on re-deploying Dick Cheney into a secure federal facility...with bars.

[Much easier to re-deploy Jack straight to the bars.]

Israeli Snipers Killing U.S. Troops in Iraq? At the very beginning of this video clip, you see a rifle with a video camera attached to it. This weapon is made by the Rafael company, an Israeli arms manufacturer, that also makes IEDs. If you watch the video all the way through, it explains how this rifle works. CNN stated that the camera used to film these shootings was not a mounted rifle camera. But as you watch the video, you see that with each shot fired, the camera recoils. That would only happen if it were mounted on the rifle. Why is this significant? Because this kind of rifle-camera is extremely sophisticated and not available to your average Iraqi insurgent. I mean, it's not exactly an easily obtainable Saturday night special! Something this sophisticated points to Mossad.

[This just in: Osama Bin Laden is a Mossad agent. Also Saddam Hussein.]

Murtha deserves something big and he's going to get it I'm sure in due course. Let's just enjoy that we have a women in a position of such power, she won hands-down, and okay kill me for this, but she dresses like a million. Wow! She knows how to get attention through elegance.

[Quite an elegant frozen smile face stretch she has there.]

I was alittle stunned at how badly Hoyer wanted the limelight today and to get in the last word. Murtha was hurt and upset and Pelasi did support the guy who got her where she was.

[Murtha's face didn't hide how hurt and upset he was when he had to stand behind Pelosi and Murtha while facing public humiliation.]

I realize you were swiftboated by the AIPAC Israel Lobby, and that Steny Hoyer was their man. It is hardball in Washington, with bribery and when that dosen't work, threats from the Israel group of thugs, and blackmail either way.

[Do we see a certain obsessive theme here developing among the HUffies?]

If you would please vote to stop giving all money to Israel, since it is a violent apartheid state, this American born Hoosier would be even more pleased by your work in the House of Representatives.

[Obsession, they name is HUffie.]

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Thursday, November 16, 2006

"What on Earth Did Schumer Say to Kerry?"

There are a few political photos that stand out as real classics. One of them is the famous photo of Wendell Willkie campaigning for president in 1940 from an open car in his hometown of Elwood, Indiana. Another classic political photo is of John F. Kennedy trying to calm down an apparently angered Lyndon B. Johnson as they are standing on an airplane stairway. Nelson Rockefeller redeemed whatever liberalism he may have had by giving the Finger to a bunch of leftwingers with a look of absolute relish on his face in yet another classic political photo. And now we have another of the GREAT political photos of all time which you can see above. You don't even have to be told what is happening to understand what is going on. A picture is worth a thousand words and this photo is telling us John Kerry has been SHUNNED by his fellow Democrats as they have just shut him out of real power in their party. Even the DUmmies understand the implications of this fantastic photo as you can see in this THREAD titled, "What on Earth Did Schumer Say to Kerry?" On a personal note I would like to find out what Schumer told my Dad. Yes, about 40 years ago my father was visiting the Northeast and was on a train trip from Boston to New York where he met a young Harvard college student named Charles Schumer and had an extended conversation with him. When I next see my Dad on Thanksgiving day, I will ask him to go into detail about what he remembers about that conversation aka "What on Earth Did Schumer Say to Dad?" In the meantime let us all savor this photo by analyzing the DUmmies analyzing this photo in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, pointing out that there is something VERY surrealistic in that Willkie campaign photo if you look closely at something in crowd scene, is in the [brackets]:

What on Earth Did Schumer Say to Kerry?

["Crawl back to Mama T because I won't allow you to play with the grownups."]

ABC's Z. Byron Wolf Reports: For anyone who needed more evidence that Sen. John Kerry (D-MA) is out of favor with Democrats, it appeared that Sen. Chuck Schumer (D-NY) kicked him out of the Democrats' leadership walk on Tuesday.

As the new Senate leaders departed from the Old Senate Chamber on their way to the Ohio Clock Corridor to talk about their agenda, the election of the leaders, and Iraq, John Kerry -- not a member of the new leadership -- walked out of the room behind new Majority Leader Harry Reid, Majority Whip Dick Durbin, Caucus Secretary Patty Murray and Caucus Vice-Chair Schumer. It is, after all, a public hallway in the Senate.

This reporter was standing with a scrum of journalists as Democrats left their caucus. It appeared that when Schumer noticed Kerry behind him, he turned around said something to Kerry.

We obviously don't know what Schumer said, but Kerry stopped in his tracks, watched the four Democratic leaders walk on without him, and when then he ducked between two of the marble statues in the hallway, which leads from the old Senate Chamber to the new Senate floor. Someone trying to project might say that Schumer had told Kerry to get the heck out of the leadership shot and Kerry, after digesting the request for a moment, did it.

[Thus the forlorn look on Kerry's face in the background as he realizes that he has just been CUT out of the Democrat leadership. And Chuck the Shmuck was the one who delivered the painful knife cut.]

who is patty murray? surely not a senator, right?

[And a DUmmie kicks off the discussion with typical DUmmie ignorance.]

Thrice elected senior Senator from Washington State. She's the short blonde one:

[Really? If you hadn't of told me I could never figure out who SHE was out of that group of four senators (and one forlorn one in the background).]

It may actually have been Schumer looking out for Kerry. The media would surely have been all over Kerry "insinuating" himself into a photo where he didn't belong. And I'm not a Schumer fan, but this is a more likely explanation than Kerry's being persona non grata.

[Chuck the Shmuck as the Angel of Mercy? Sorry, does not compute.]

Perhaps Kerry didn't realize what he was walking into.

[Kerry walked straight into a brick wall called "End Of My Career."]

I doubt that about Schumer looking out for Kerry. Reid wouldn't either. The other two probably didn't even realize that Kerry was there. I really don't think Durbin would never do anything to slight another senator. We're not privy to what was said, but I wouldn't expect altrusim or compassion on the part of Schumer or Reid to have anything to do with it. Just sayin'.

[Only your misinformed comment about Durbin keeps you from winning a Kewpie Doll for having a brief moment of mental clarity.]

I was watching that when it happened. Kerry looked like a kicked puppy and sort of hid before vanishing to the left. Very awkward moment

[Has this been uploaded to YouTube yet? I need to watch that comedy video over and over again.]

Are you sure there can't be another explanation? How could this hero be suffering anything like this. I am an avid anti-NAFTA Democrat, but this is really messing me up. Has to be another explanation. He's got SO much going for him and must be grateful for it. I know he'll be OK, but this could be heartbreaking for anyone else.

[Not for us heartless rightwing types. For us it is HILARIOUS!]

That's sad. Senator Kerry's always had such class. Can you picture Kerry telling another Democrat to get out of the shot because HE wanted a photo op? NEVER in a MILLION YEARS. Whatever the circumstances or what the exact words were, this showed poor manners and a lack of common decency. I like Kerry because he's never been about himself, but for his "mission" in the cause of Democracy. He simply doesn't play these silly, political games.

[Kerry has never been about himself? And what Bizarro World are you from?]

"You can walk with us, but it'll cost you half of the $14 million you've got tucked away for another Presidential loss in 2008"

[Ouch!]

Who the heck is schumer to say anything to Kerry?

[The guy who told Kerry to get lost, that's who.]

The guy who took back the Senate for us? As opposed to coming out with asinine spinnable comments days before an election.

[Ouch!]

Schumer engineered his present status as alpha-male and you treat his alpha-male status as something to be revered. Just like a bunch of chimpanzees. Dean and Kerry got cast out of the pack and relegated to walking behind the beta-females in the march to the spring feeding grounds. Pure exercise of brute force to maintain social cohesion and elevate a ruthless politico like Schumer. And you think humans have evolved.

[A DUmmie, in his long-winded way, calling Chuck a Shmuck.]

It's metaphorical -- Kerry represents us, the people, shut out as usual.

[It's metaphorical -- Kerry represents you, the DUmmies, shut out of reality as usual.]

Standing Ovations for Lieberman. Kerry sent to woodshed, Carville dissing Dean, swift-boating Murtha. I'm feeling the message is "thanks for getting us back into power" but "we don't care what you think" so move along.

[Thanx for that battle report on the opening shots of the Democrat Civil War.]

(You can now access the DUmmie FUnnies simply by typing "DUmmieFUnnies.Com" into your URL address box.)

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p.s. Check out what one of our happy customers had to SAY about the amazing helicopter kite.

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

"How is BORAT any different than BLACKFACE?"

It takes a great stretch even for the DUmmie imagination to compare the fictitious Borat portraying an imaginary resident of Kazakhstan to wearing blackface. However, in the age of the politically correct I guess it is not surprising to finding loons who will take offense to almost anything no matter how ridiculous. On the subject of blackface, I was actually thinking about this yesterday before I saw this DUmmie THREAD titled, "How is BORAT any different than BLACKFACE?" The reason why is that I was watching The Jolson Story on cable late at night. I thought this subject would make for a great remake since that movie, although very entertertaining, was highly fictionalized. That thought was quickly followed by a second thought that such a remake would be impossible today since the wearing of blackface by Al Jolson (also by Eddie Cantor) is way too sensitive of a subject to be portrayed on the big screen today. Neither Jolson nor Cantor were at all racist since wearing of blackface was a common practice in the early 20th century but in this day and age any film bio about Jolson would be slammed for showing blackface portrayals. Too bad in a way because after watching that Jolson movie I did some research on him and found out that Jolson was quite a patriot and was the first entertainer to go to Korea to sing for the troops after that war broke out. In fact he went against the advice of his doctors and suffered a heart attack as a result and soon died when he returned to the states. But enough with Al Jolson history. Let us now watch the DUmmies stir up yet another controversy where none really exists in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, planning on LMAO at the Borat movie soon, is in the [brackets]:

How is BORAT any different than BLACKFACE?

[Borat was wearing KAZAKHFACE.]

Blackface is a style of theatrical makeup that originated in the United States, used to affect the countenance of an iconic, racist American archetype - that of the darky or coon. Blackface also refers to a genre of musical and comedic theatrical presentation in which blackface makeup is worn. White blackface performers in the past used burnt cork and later greasepaint or shoe polish to blacken their skin and exaggerate their lips, often wearing woolly wigs, gloves, tails, or ragged clothes to complete the transformation. Later, black artists also performed in blackface.

[Yes. Musical comedian Bert Williams was one of the latter. A black man who performed in blackface. So was he racist too?]

Blackface was an important performance tradition in the American theater for over 100 years and was also popular overseas. Stereotypes embodied in the stock characters of blackface minstrelsy played a significant role in cementing and proliferating racist images, attitudes and perceptions worldwide. In some quarters, the caricatures that were the legacy of blackface persist to the present day and are a cause of ongoing controversy.

[Which is why we won't be seeing any more film bios of Al Jolson in the near future. Or even the not so near future.]

Let's see...
- proliferating racist images? Check
- caricature? Check
- cause of ongoing controversy? Check

[- dummie political correctness run amok? Check]

For the sake of discussion, I'll say I have taken the character to be a slur against muslims/arabs/persians.

[For sake of discussion, I'll say you are too DUmb to realize that Kazakhs are neither Arabs nor Persians. In fact many of them aren't even Muslims since a big chunk of the population of Kazakhstan are ethnic Russians.]

For one thing.... "Kazakhstani" is not a race.

[Gee! No kidding?]

Perhaps not, but just the made up name prompts an association with peoples from an general geographical area of the world.

[I always knew DUmmies were DUmb but this just lowered their DUmbness bar in my eyes. This DUmmie actually believes that they made up the country of Kazakhstan? Yeah, and Slovakia is also a fictional country, DUmmie.]

Made up name? You do know Kazakhstan is a real country, right?

[Shhh! It's more entertaining to keep that DUmmie in blessed ignorance.]

But it is saying people from there live with farm animals, shit in a box and their sister is a prostitute, etc... And saying at a time when we are calling these people inferior evil savages and going to their country to kill them, blow up their weddings, etc.

[It's called COMEDY you DUmmie! Meanwhile the Dummies feel free to slam at the Red State "rednecks" and they aren't even joking.]

I think it was more than that Cohen is of Russian Jewish extraction, the "Kazakhs" are none other than the "Cossacks" who were infamous for executing pogroms. I think he's using them to stand for backwards, anti-Semitic peoples in general.

[DUmmie ignorance piled upon DUmmie ignorance. "Cossacks"and "Kazakhs" are entirely different peoples. Wouldn't surprise me a bit if this DUmmie thinks that Austrians and Australians are the same.]

Borat is making fun of US, not of Kazakhstan.

[The DUmmie FUnnies is making FUn of YOU, not of Kazakhstan.]

But seriously, aren't all foriegners just a little funny?

[Especially the foreign men on our beaches wearing those tiny jockstraps they call bathing suits. There should be a law against that.]

Can we not be politically correct ONCE in a while?

[No.]

This is a Jew making fun of Arabs as being stupid, idiotic, abusive, unhygenic, incestrous, raping, etc. At a time when we are in the middle east causing all kinds of death to these people for selfish reasons. That's an uncomfortable position.

[Would it be okay for a Presbyterian to make fun of Arabs then? Oh, and the Kazakhs are NOT arabs but better to let you live in blissful ignorance.]

BTW, most Americans can't even locate Kazakhstan on a map.

[Most DUmmies have trouble locating their own bellybuttons.]

He's also such a chicken that he responds to critics' charges only when in character; Baron Cohen himself needs to hide behind Borat.

[So stated DUmmie brentspeak hiding behind his DUmmie screen name.]

They also own the second largest Uranium reservesin the world behind Australia and the Russians and Chinese are agressively courting them.

[And don't forget their apple empire.]

A slur is a slur whether it is against a nation, race, sexual orientation, etc. When he says "I flew first class, which meant I was only the 6th person to make a shit in the toilet box", how is that getting people to admit things they would never say to an average american? To me it is a slur against less advantaged people to suggest that "we're better than them. ha ha, wink wink..."

[It's not a slur to say "we're smarter than DUmmies." It's the TRUTH.]

Well, if the movie isn't dumb, and Baron Cohen is so "smart"... ...then he should have no trouble making an effective comedy that doesn't rely on duping and misrepresenting his films' subjects.

[DUmmie brentspeak proving once again just how DUmb he is.]

This guy, Sacha Baron (???) Cohen sounds like a real jerk. I read an article today concerning the Romanian gypsies he used in his "Borat" film. These utterly dirt-poor, powerless people are furious that they were manipulated by "Borat"; they were told that a documentary on their poverty was being made, not a comedic film where they would be used as a punchline. One of the gypsies, speaking of how humiliated the village now feels: "We haven't got anything here. We haven't got running water. We can't even bathe," she said. "We are poor people, but we are still people."

[I guess those gypsies saw the big box office take of Borat and decided to scam for the big bucks instead of the small change they were more than happy to work for earlier.]

Sasha Cohen did something wrong. When I saw that movie, I thought the part with his village was completely staged. I didn't realise that he tricked a poor Romanian village into being exploited. If he did this, he deserves a kick in the nuts.

[No trick here at all. The movie company paid a village of gypsies to be in a movie which they were happy to do. Then when the movie hit it big they decided to go for the bigger bucks. End of story.]

Thanks for the reviews. I was going to see his movie ...but I'll take a pass. I'm not in the mood to see a Jewish Comedian making fun of Muslims these days. Sorry...just isn't my thing.

[Would you feel better if it were a Presbyterian Comedian making fun of Muslims?]

It's like Southpark. It's an equal opportunity offender that spares no one. And the other poster was right. It is so ridiculously over the top that you can't really be offended.

[Unless you are a DUmmie.]

I don't believe it quite parallels "blackface", but what turned me off from seeing the movie, simply judging by the previews, is the way it seemed to be laughing about people living in poverty. I generally don't find that kind of humor funny, just depressing. Maybe I got a distorted perception about what the bulk of the movie is like based on seeing the previews, but that was the way it came across to me. Maybe I just don't "get" it the same way I don't "get" "South Park" ("get" in quotes because I don't think finding something unfunny necessarily entails that you truly don't get how it's attempting to be funny).

[I don't think you "get" much of anything, DUhhhmmie.]

Anyone who finds this movie funny is a f*cking moran! Sure I laughed at the cowboys and the idiot frat boys, they deserved it. However, many of the people in the movie were exploited and tricked and I find that offensive. Oh and I get SATIRE, but people should not be harmed in the process.

["No Kazakhs, morans, nor horses were harmed in the making of this motion picture."]

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

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Monday, November 13, 2006

"James Carville is on a one-man mission to destroy the Democratic Congress"

The Democrat Civil War which we saw in the previous DUmmie FUnnies EDITION continues unabated as the hard core leftists have turned James Carville into the latest version of Emmanuel Goldstein. You can see the continuing Hate Week remarks directed towards him in this DUmmie THREAD titled, "James Carville is on a one-man mission to destroy the Democratic Congress." Not a week has yet gone by since the election and already the Left is fighting against the Clintonistas in their effort to coronate Hillary in '08. This will be quite an entertaining (and FUnnie) spectacle to watch so grab your popcorn and soda and enjoy the show as the Democrats tear themselves apart in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, hoping that poor James is not sent to Room 101, is in the [brackets]:

James Carville is on a one-man mission to destroy the Democratic Congress.

[I always knew that James had a positive side to him.]

Stoopid Freaking James Carville

[You prejudiced against Ragin' Cajuns?]

So, today's feature story in the Tribune is on Rahm Emmanuel. The Tribune had a reporter shadowing Rahm for months now with the understanding that nothing would be written until after the election. Right at the beginning of the story is this:

Rahm Emanuel was seething.

He was hurtling down an asphalt road in upstate New York on the 47th trip of his ferocious campaign to win back the House. A lecture, even from political consultant James Carville, was the last thing he needed.

And here were Carville and pollster Stan Greenberg telling him he had to make each of his handpicked candidates shift from attack mode and strike a conciliatory note in their final campaign ads.

"James. No James, YOU LISTEN," Emanuel barked into a cell phone, about to release a string of profane invectives more intense than usual. "Can you listen for one (expletive) minute? I'm working these campaigns all the time. The campaigns all have different textures."

His wiry body tensed, his voice breaking with stress. Emanuel shouted, "If you don't like what you see, I highly recommend you pick up the ... phone and do it yourself."

[EARTH TO DUMMIES: This was just a personality clash since Emmanuel and Carville are on the SAME team---the Hillary Team. When you finally discover this then Emmanuel will become your Rahm Emmanuel Goldstein.]

Kick Carville to the curb. Hey, that has a nice ring to it.

[If you were a St. Louis Lutheran minister then maybe you could make a song out of it.]

Carville is getting a little big for his britches. He's like an aunt I have...she sits back and tells everyone what needs to be done, but never gets her hands dirty. Sounds like he needs a big ol' cup of STFU!!

[Aunt Hillary?]

Wait! I thought Rahm was DLC... oh, I'm so confused

[Your ultimate awakening will be FUn to watch.]

EXACTLY he's irrelevant and he doesn't like it so what he can't have he wants to destroy...that ASSHOLE!

[The best part of all this is when the DUmmies finally realize that the primary state selection process is stacked in FAVOR of Hillary.]

Now get this, Carville. We run the show now. We, the people. We have the Internet and we're not going to allow any sleazy slime-ball from DC control us any longer. We elected these people to Congress. They are ours. We control them. You and your smarmy group of arrogant, idiotic DC insiders control nothing, apparently not even your mouths. The country is ours now. Get out of our way, or we'll just run you over. Your only alternative is to join us.

[So stated the proclamation of the Revolutionary Committee as they announced the Purge of one James Carville.]

He's protecting the WAR CRIMINAL he's married to.

[Next they will be calling for sending Mary Matalin to The Hague.]

He's not irrelevant., he's carrying water for Hillary

[Which is much easier than actually carrying Hillary.]

Hillary will be a big factor in the primaries right up until New Hampshire, where she'll come in "tied for third" after Gore, Edwards, and maybe a few other people.

[Keep dreaming. The primary process is now stacked in HER favor.]

Also, he had a big hand in the Kerry concession from what I've read. He hadn't intended to concede at all in 04.

[Carville was guilty of having Kerry concede to reality.]

Carville was great (IMO) in the 80's/eraly 90's... but he's soooo last century, now.

[Does Carville still wear bell bottoms? That had to be the WORST fashion trend of the 20th century. What were guys thinking of when wearing those ridiculous pants?]

(You can now access the DUmmie FUnnies simply by typing "DUmmieFUnnies.Com" into your URL address box.)

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

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Saturday, November 11, 2006

Democrat Civil War Begins

The Democrats have won an election campaign only to find themselves embroiled in a bloody civil war. What is going on is that the Hillary faction is now trying to dominate the entire Democrat party in order to facilitate her nomination coronation in '08. In order to accomplish this they MUST get rid of Howard Dean as chairman of the DNC and replace him with their own lackey. Clintonista James Carville has already suggested that Dean be replaced with Harold Ford, thus earning him the enmity of the Daily Kos KOmmies as you can see in this THREAD titled, "DEAN RESPONDS!: Carville calls for Dean to be Replaced by Ford." So now we see the theme of the BIG political struggle for the next couple of years: the battle for control of the Demcrat party between the Hillary acolytes and the hard core Democrat Left. So let us now enjoy the opening rounds of fireworks of this Civil War as they burst before us in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, starting to feel good again about observing politics after having cleaned some Grade A Carville Brand egg off his face, is in the [brackets]:

DEAN RESPONDS!: Carville calls for Dean to be Replaced by Ford

[It's like the opening shot at Fort Sumter when the Civil War commenced.]

WHAT A WASTE OF SPACE JAMES HAS BECOME! James, SHUT YOUR F*CKING PIE HOLE

[Paraphrasing Dr. Buddy Rydell in Anger Management.]

Ladies and gentlemen, we need to flood the media with our appreciation of Dr Dean and the 50 state strategy that won back all those state houses and house seats because this shit that's flying out of that DLC minded DC Elite will cost us if we're not careful.

[Sorry. Hillary's demands MUST be met. Dean goes. That's an ORDER!]

After the Republicans have admitted to a thumping, why is it that the only one complaining on the Democratic side is James Carville, who today in addition to trashing Howard Dean, praised the RNC, the outfit that brought us the racist ad that defeated Harold Ford, James' supposed candidate for Chair? Perhaps he's not aware that under Dean in this midterm election the DNC has raised record cash --- all hard dollars -- including three times as much from major donors, eight times as much online and made a $30 million investment in the '06 cycle, three times as much as the DNC put into the last midterm. Not to mention we made an $8m overhaul of our voter file which was successfully used in 47 states and through the 50 state strategy invested in states like Pennsylvania, Kansas, Indiana and Montana where we had critical victories on Tuesday.

[Doesn't matter. Dean must go. Hillary has spoken.]

What will it take for James Carville to shut the f*ck up and recognize credit where credit is due. Howard Dean's 50 State Strategy has been vindicated by the across the board election victories this cycle. Harold Ford is one of the LONE LOSERS of 11-7. I like the guy, but I don't like where he stands on Issues, and I hate the idea of putting a Loser in place to head the DNC when we finally have a winner. James Carville is a f*cking tool idiot of the corporate media and DLC Elites. And Dean was championed into his current role by the individual parties through the 50 states. He's a Democrat's Democrat, and Carville should be marginalized for waging this public war to oust Dean at so critical a juncture.

[Doesn't matter. Dean must go. Hillary has spoken.]

If Howard Dean is ousted as DNC chair, I will start a campaign for all small donors and all netroots actiivsts to stop giving money to the DNC, DSCC, DCCC, DLCC and NGA. This is not an idle threat. Democratic parties and committees will lose tens of millions of dollars every year if they do this. Count on it.

[Doesn't matter. Dean must go. Hillary has spoken.]

Simply put, Outst Dean and the Netroots will rail against the establishment as no one has seen before, and that could cripple the Democrats going into '08. If they know what's good for them, they'll keep the good doctor where he is, rightfully elected to head our Triumphant DNC to victory in '08!

[Doesn't matter. Dean must go. Hillary has spoken.]

F*CK YOU JAMES

[Maybe you should direct your comments to the real source---Hillary.]

Carville is just a hired gun. And has lost all credibility.
We should be making these threats against those who hired him. Would anyone more knowledgable than I care to start naming likely suspects? I'm perfectly willing to help slap them down.

[Likely suspects? I'll give you a hint with the initials, HRC.]

He's just a Rovian shill. I don't believe he's on our side and I ask why we should give a f*ck what he wants us to do? At beat he's just bitter because Dean's way worked and his own perpetually loses. At worst he's a plant to destroy the party from within. He's irrelevant either way.

[James Carville is a Secret Rovian Agent.]

HOWARD DEAN HAS A POSSE

[A posse composed of leftwing liberal lunatics.]

Maybe that Dem Elite/Netroots showdown is going to come earlier than I originally thought.

[Showdown at the Not So OK Corral.]

My theory. He wants Hillary Clinton to have the 2008 nomination, and she won't get it unless the DLC-types Carville loves so much regain the upper hand in the party.

[Gee! No kidding!]

What rotten F'ing timing: In-fighting? Now? WTF? Why in the F does the Dem Party want to air its dirty laundry right after having won its biggest victory in many years? You could see this coming though, Rahm v Howard. The constant bickering, and both claiming the throne after the big victory. I just knew they'd eventually end up in the same ring with no way out but to fight. It's a gawd damn shame it happened a couple of days after the win. Americans want to feel safe and strong in the Party it selected to move in forward. This does absolutely no damn good...for anybody but the Republicans. I say again, WTF?

[Watch your recent electoral victory turn to ash in the mouth due to the ambitions of Hillary.]

The only problem is without Howard Dean's 50 state strategy it wouldn't have happened because we would have never been in the position to take advantage of all the openings the GOP scandals suddenly offered. And frankly, without the netroots, a creature very much in tuned with Dean's vision, neither Tester nor Webb would have taken the Senate.

[In a weird way the Democrat victories in Virginia and Montana will only toss more gasoline on this Democrat Civil War. Dean won't go out quietly even though Hillary demands he LEAVE.]

The Emanuel-Dean fight has been one-sided: Rahm attacks Howard. Dean hasn't caved, but he has never bad-mouthed Emanuel. If you can find a single instance of Dean trashing Emanuel, or Schumer, I'd love to see it. The opposite is not true. After the victory, Dean thanked both Emanuel and Schumer. Emanuel and Schumer never mentioned Dean at all. So I don't see "both claiming the throne".

[Thank you, Howard Dean. Now please leave so Hillary's will may be done.]

Why in the world would Carville believe that Hillary is ENTITLED to the nomination? I like Hillary but if she wants the Presidency she needs to go through the primary and win. If she doesn't, then she doesn't. It's that simple. That's how representative government works. It's sad that someone needs to explain that to Carville. If he doesn't believe it should work that way perhaps he would be happier in a country that doesn't have representative government like Saudi Arabia.

[It will be soooooo much FUn when it finally sinks into the thick DUmmie and KOmmie skulls that Hillary WILL be the Democrat '08 nominee.]

hillary isn't getting the nomination.

[Hee! Hee! That's what you think.]

If they succeed, the DLCers are going to be the only Democrats left in 2008, facing a horde of GOP crazies who see their chance to get back into building a one-party state all by themselves. The Democratic brand is going to become of negative value and will be defined as "corporate sellouts" by ... everybody.

[I love this vision of the future!]

Bald-headed ugly freak, and his traitorous wife.

[Does this mean you don't like Carville?]

Flood Carville with mail to let him know we are on to his shoddy strategic ploy on behalf of Hillary Clinton. I am so weary of these political con-artists assuming the public is just plain stupid and can be hoodwinked if they just slap a diversionary label on their particular brand of snakeoil.

[I hate to inform you but you will be forced to drink that Hillary brand of snakeoil in '08.]

F-you Carville and the whole Clinton mafia! All you care about is your own meal-ticket and future, and you're willing to play ball with Karl Rove in order to maintain your money and power. Not anymore James and Mary! Not anymore Clinton mafia! The people have taken this democracy back, you just haven't gotten the effin memo yet. Howard Dean, I've got your back.

[And John Kerry has your back. BTW, has Mama T's Boy Toy ever come out of hiding yet?]

If Dean goes, I join the Greens. Period.

[Methinks you won't be alone. Hee! Hee!]

Carville likely doing what Hillary Clinton asked Howard Dean is a major roadblock to Hillary marshaling all the right resources for her 2008 campaign. If so screw her because she cannot win and the netroots is a big reason why !

[Would it help if Hillary sent you an autographed copy of It Takes A Village?]

Carville's now focused on getting Hillary the nomination in '08. That's what this is all about . . . . plain and simple. Dean clearly has no dog in the '08 race. And, if he did, it sure as hell wouldn't be Hillary. Carville wants a Hillary-friendly Chairman. It ain't gonna happen.

[Tough luck. Hillary's will be done!]

I'm thinking Carville, Begala, and friends had been planning to move against Dean immediately after the election all along. Of course, they never imagined that the Dems would pull off a true landslide. When that became a reality, they decided to proceed as planned anyway, because they considered this likely their last best chance to get rid of Dean. What pathetic clowns.

[Thanx for letting me see the silver lining in the Democrat win. Without that big victory, ousting Dean would be easy. However, with the big win there will be Democrat bloodshed all over the place.]

Hillary is behind this. If Dean got the boot, then Carville & Co. take the party again, and pave the way for their girl to take the nomination in 2008. Hell, they'd probably hire Terry McAuliffe again. This is vile. He's shitting on our historic win with this macchiavellian strategy that will ultimately beat us as a party.

[Don't stop. I'm enjoying this vision of the near future.]

If they oust Dean, they lose me. It will be time for a 3rd party.

[Green or Socialist Workers Party?]

Carville's over. So is his tarantula of a wife. The days of Crossfire and pundits are over. The days of Southern centrists are over. And dare I say it? The Clintons' days are numbered. Bill Clinton's visit didn't do a damn thing to help Lieberman win the primary. Nancy Pelosi, not Hillary Clinton, is the big story of the day. So all you DLC assclowns, just step aside for Dean, Tester, Webb, Markos, Bowers, Colbert, Stewart and whoever else is not stuck in a time warp.

[Doesn't matter. Dean must go. Hillary has spoken.]

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

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p.s. Check out what one of our happy customers had to SAY about the amazing helicopter kite.

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

"IMPEACH BUSH!"

In a weird way, the Democrat victories in the House and Senate yesterday were a good thing in the long run. Yeah, it's hard to see it now but already we see the beginnings of the big Democrat crackup as the loonies start elbowing their way around and come up against the professional Democrats. Such is the case that we see here in this DUmmie THREAD demanding to "IMPEACH BUSH!" When they find out that the impeachment process won't be happening RIGHT AWAY the DUmmies will screech about betrayal thus tearing the Democrats apart even more. Simultaneously we will see the DUmmies confronting the Hillary Machine in her bid for presidential nomination. Now that the DUmmies had a taste of success, they will demand that one of their own, NOT Hillary, receive the nomination. So stand by folks for a lot of upcoming fireworks from within the Democrats. In the meantime, let us now observe the DUmmies make their IMMEDIATE impeachment demands in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, reminding himself that a two-year interregnum is not an eternity, is in the [brackets]:

IMPEACH BUSH!

[We won a few hours ago...LUNACY NOW!!!]

IMPEACH BUSH! IMPEACH BUSH! IMPEACH BUSH! IMPEACH BUSH! IMPEACH BUSH! IMPEACH BUSH! IMPEACH BUSH! IMPEACH BUSH! IMPEACH BUSH! IMPEACH BUSH! IMPEACH BUSH! IMPEACH BUSH! IMPEACH BUSH! IMPEACH BUSH! IMPEACH BUSH!

[The one dimensional mind in all its glory.]

Impeach Bush? IMPEACH BUSH! IMPEACH! IMPEACH!

[So you want Nancy Pelosi to start off by breaking her promise of no impeachment?]

And Cheney .... President Pelosi in '07 is the goal of 'WE THE PEOPLE ..." Make it happen ........................

[Sorry but in case you haven't noticed the Democrats still don't have the two-thirds of the Senate needed to convict. No President Pelosi in '07 or any other time.]

IMPEACH BUSH!

[Your disappointment will be FUn to watch. And you can't blame Bush when that doesn't happen. Your own Democrats will be getting flamed for that.]

That is a Good idea but possibly bad politics.

[Bad politics have never stopped the DUmmies before.]

Time's a wasting... Let's not delay this any further!

[Start picketing Nancy Pelosi when she doesn't start impeachment IMMEDIATELY.]

but Speaker Pelosi says NO! will she let have at his ass?

[You'll want to kick her ass if she does not break her promise.]

President Pelosi IMPEACH BUSH!

[Democrat civil war is going to be interesting.]

Let the subpoenas fly, Mr. Conyers, Mr. Rangel, Mr. Skelton .

[Yes. Let the public see these clowns in action. Great way to start off your return to power.]

Before it's too late! First order of bidness!

[Before it's too late! First order of bitterness!]

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

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p.s. Check out what one of our happy customers had to SAY about the amazing helicopter kite.

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

"If we don't win (and we will) mark my words: It was stolen"

The DUmmies are already getting their excuses in order. See, if they don't win tonight then that means the election was stolen as you can see in this crybaby THREAD whiningly titled, "If we don't win (and we will) mark my words: It was stolen." This reminds me of a kid I used to know who said that if he didn't win at Monopoly or Scrabble or any of a number of other games then it didn't mean he lost, it just meant that someone else cheated. So let us now watch the DUmmies do a pre-emptive excuse strike in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, noting that crybabies are FUn to watch, is in the [brackets]:

If we don't win (and we will) mark my words: It was stolen.

[Better wear a double duty set of Depends tonight just in case.]

Dems have had leads ranging from 2 to 23% for FOURTEEN MONTHS leading up to this election.

[And we all know that the ouija polls are 100% accurate.]

The President's approval rating hovers at 38%

[37.942% to be exact.]

The approval rating for Congress hovers around 20%...and everyone knows it's Republican-dominated.

[And everyone knows that polls are COMPLETELY accurate.]

Last night, **CNN had Dems leading by a full 20%.**

[Well then. You have it in the bag. Break out that Estrich '04 Victory Champagne NOW!]

And you think for ONE MINUTE that some invisible Rovian trick can somehow magically make everyone change their minds in the last 24 hours? No. WAY. It is not possible to erase 14 months of Democratic gains in ONE DAY.

[Democrat gains as scientifically reported by the ouija polls.]

If we lose, I don't want to hear a word about how we were weak, or didn't get out the vote, or looked at somebody crosseyed and blew the election because that's BULLSHIT.

[How about the "Didn't get our message out," excuse used previously by the Democrats?]

If we lose, it was stolen. Know that...and be ready to take action.

[Storm the Dollar Stores and demand they distribute the overstock Guy Fawkes costumes! And now to hear from your equally NUttie fellow DUmmies...]

Action/ What action that we could even talk about. Would prove effective?

[Stepping over the pizza carton barricade at your basement doorway would be a start.]

Yep. No other interpretation. Yet I believe they will try to steal it anyway. Awareness is a lot higher now than 2 years ago. The days of election results in a day are over.

[Send in the lawyers to litigate and extend the voting process to weeks and months.]

In 2004, all the exit polls showed Kerry winning and yet the corporate media mocked anyone who dare suggest the election was stolen.

[How about if we just mock anyone who believes in ouija polls?]

I repeat: If we lose, it was stolen. There is NO other reasonable explanation. Saying you believe the Republicans can pull out a majority in the last 24 hours is like saying you believe in the tooth fairy.

[Actually most tooth fairies in San Francisco will be voting Democrat.]

If we lose, we riot. That's not a threat. That's a guarantee!

[If you lose, you'll be a laugh riot. That's a guarantee!]

If we do not get BOTH houses it was stolen again. We riot! Take to the streets! I wont take this anymore. People are fed up all over the country. Just read the stories DUers post here about relatives, neighbors and just plain strangers are converting over to our side. The exit polls will tell the tale.

[And we all know that exit polls can't possibly be wrong.]

They get off on beating Democrats. Democrats rioting would be good news to these thugs. They love watching police beat the poor. Don't given them the pleasure of beating on Democrats. I would suggest a consumption strike would be the tactic to use to hurt the GOP the worst. No purchases of new non-essential goods from multinational corporations. If someone has a car die, or clothes shredded in a disaster, buy used or buy from local businesses. No new cars sold to Dems. No new homes built for Dems. No luxury goods bought by Dems. We'd crash the economy in a few months, and no blood is drawn. They can't make us buy their stuff.

[Not One Damn Dime Day sure ruined our economy the last time around.]

They only way you stop the greedy is by threatening their money. A consumption strike hits the neo-cons right where it hurts them the most. Their wallet.

[I think you have a case of consumption in the old sense of the word.]

With this voter turn out expect a rout. A tsunami is coming. This wil be the largest voter turn out in mid terms. They cannot steal this can they?

[All your Diebolds belong to US!]

The only "excuse" for defeat in this clear-cut pro-Dem election is fraud. There is no other plausible explanation...the Dems have been leading too strong for too long to lose honestly.

[Tonight the Great Pumpkin will finally arrive...or else.]

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Christmas is coming soon I have the PERFECT Christmas gift item for my DUmmie FUnnies fans. It is a product I have been using myself and fully endorse: the amazing HELICOPTER KITE. This helicopter kite flies like a helicopter. You can make it go hundreds of feet into the air or hover it just a couple of feet off the ground. The propellor rotation is done entirely by windpower. Please check out the VIDEO of the INCREDIBLE helicopter kite. Not only was the helicopter kite aerodynamically designed but it is also MADE IN THE USA! So feel good about purchasing an AMERICAN MADE toy, not produced by Chicom wage-slave labor, which makes the perfect Christmas or birthday gift. The helicopter kites have a LIFETIME warranty so all defective or broken parts will be replaced. Your purchase of the helicopter kite will not only provide you with lots of FUn but it will also help keep the DUmmie FUnnies going. So take a look at the VIDEO and be AMAZED!

p.s. Check out what one of our happy customers had to SAY about the amazing helicopter kite.

"I am so anxious"

The DUmmies are now a bundle of nerves since ALL their hopes come down to what happens later today as you can see in this THREAD titled, "I am so anxious." This thread was posted by DUmmie undergroundpanther who wasn't able to sleep a wink last night despite the fact that there is supposed to be a Democrat tsunami today as declared by the MSM pundits. So let us now read the angst attack of DUmmie undergroundpanther and his equally nervous fellow DUmmies in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, who just recently woke up from a refreshing night of pleasant sleep, is in the [brackets]:

I am so anxious

[Better do a diaper check.]

I can't sleep it's 5;30 am. Shit. Election...Shit..I dunno if I am tired or not. my mind is just floating around..dreading yet hoping..and I do not want to sleep. But I got to sometime.

[You're still better off than Pied Piper Pitt who hasn't slept since April 2005. And now to hear from your equally anxious fellow DUmmies...]

I''ve been up since 2:30 EST myself watching reruns of Scarborough and Anderson Cooper. Frightening...this is either going to be great news or Kristallnacht.

[Surely you underestimate since the next step would be sending you to the Wal-Mart Detention Camps.]

I'm up early this morning here for the same reason.....
after DUing here for a while I am now off to walk my dog, plant some spring bulbs in pots, shopping and cooking..... and tonight I will be nervous..... The outcome of this election will SO color my feelings in the next 2 years!

[Make that 20 years.]

I'm driving my husband crazy because I won't go to bed. I can't sleep either. I'm afraid it's anticipatory depression. But I hope not.

[Methinks you have been driving your husband crazy ever since the wedding night but no matter.]

I'm going to be standing at the doors when they open them for us voters. Charge!

[And then totally FREAK OUT when you see the name "DIEBOLD" on your voting machine.]

This is my first election and I can't get to bed either. I should get some sleep for all the work that still has to be done tomorrow. I'm to anxious and nervous and a thousand other adjectives. I've read all the latest posts and went past cleaning up my side of the room to cleaning my roomies.

[Did you remember to clean your toilet with your tongue?]

You first election! You'll never forget "your first one". Let's make sure it's the one that puts our country back on the right track. Let your first voting experience be your BEST voting experience. LET'S GO KICK BUSH'S ASS!

[LET'S GO KICK LUCY'S FOOTBALL!]

I'm probably not going to sleep today. I'm done doing my overnight show at 6am my time and depending on how wired I am on coffee I think I'll just ride out the day and hope for the best....

[Be sure to lock up all your razor blades.]

It's going to be a long day. I generally get 5 hours of sleep a night anyway (chronic back pain) but when I awoke THIS morning I bounced out of bed (or as close as I ever come to bouncing) and I fell energized and ready to put the smack-down on Bush's ass. My polling place opens at 6:30 at I intend to be the first one there. Now, off to brush the toofies, a quick cup of coffee and out the damn door to KICK BUSH'S ASS!

[You will be very disappointed when you discover that Bush's name is NOT on the ballot.]

I can't sleep either

[Try freezing yourself like Eric Cartman did.]

Welcome to the club... I slept all of 2 hours last night. In Wisconsin we're voting on the "Marriage Amendment" and I'm just so damn nervous.

[Another Diaper Check on Aisle 2!]

Ativan Always Helps

[Meds---the good ol' DUmmie standby.]

Already took my klonopin and muscle relaxant /back pain meds and that usually konks me out..not this time..shit.Slightly tired..Geez.

[The DUmmieland pharmacy is going to be busy today handing out a plethora of heavy duty meds.]

Ativan Is Very Good For Situational Anxiety... Not a long term cure though...

[I'm sure there are even heavier meds for that. Just keep reading this DUmmie thread for advice.]

Ativan is also good for getting rid of the side effects of drugs like Haldol and thorazine, the nastiest one is the Akathesia..I don't take ativan anymore.

[And what drug would a DUmmie have to take to get rid of the side effects of Ativan which takes the form of pre-mature victory gloating followed by extremes of anxiety?]

Been listening to my ipod all night Because I don't wanna turn on the TV until I have too. It'll drive me up a wall while the numbers go up and down. I am going to wait until it's close to poll close and than turn it on...Who the f*ck am I kidding? I hope so bad this is a Dem Sweep and not Kristallnacht.I really do.. But for some reason I am scared not run away and hide scared, more of a pissed off defensive scared.Preparing for the worst hoping for the best. And I still can't sleep. my eyes are tired so I may go offline soon.get something to eat.

[Freeze youself now like Eric Cartman and then wake up in the 25th century to find out that the Republicans rule the earth via their Supreme Leader...Rove the Immortal.]

count me in, I was up at 3 gonna be a long day and night I'm afraid.

[DIAPER CHECK! We need another Diaper Check here!]

Feels like Christmas Eve. Let's hope Santa's feeling extra generous this year. *begins singing* All I want for Christmas is a Democratic House...

[MERRY FITZMAS!!!]

(You can now access the DUmmie FUnnies simply by typing "DUmmieFUnnies.Com" into your URL address box.)

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Christmas is coming soon I have the PERFECT Christmas gift item for my DUmmie FUnnies fans. It is a product I have been using myself and fully endorse: the amazing HELICOPTER KITE. This helicopter kite flies like a helicopter. You can make it go hundreds of feet into the
air or hover it just a couple of feet off the ground. The propellor rotation is done entirely by windpower. Please check out the VIDEO of the INCREDIBLE helicopter kite. Not only was the helicopter kite aerodynamically designed but it is also MADE IN THE USA! So feel good about purchasing an AMERICAN MADE toy, not produced by Chicom wage-slave labor, which makes the perfect Christmas or birthday gift. The helicopter kites have a LIFETIME warranty so all defective or broken parts will be replaced. Your purchase of the helicopter kite will not only provide you with lots of FUn but it will also help keep the DUmmie FUnnies going. So take a look at the VIDEO and be AMAZED!

p.s. Check out what one of our happy customers had to SAY about the amazing helicopter kite.

Monday, November 06, 2006

"THE FIX IS IN!"

Remember, Remember, the Fifth of Rovember. That was the day when PANIC set in over at DUmmieland after having CELEBRATED their election victory just the day before. And the cause for them to hit the panic button was the new polls that came out yesterday showing a big Republican surge. Suddenly the DUmmiecrat victory no longer looks as inevitable as they thought on Saturday. As a result, the DUmmies are now seeing the sudden change in the polls as a result of a Vast Rovian Plan to flip the votes and "steal" the election as you can see in this THREAD titled, "THE FIX IS IN!" Yes, let the DUmmie angst begin! My advice for the DUmmies is to allow chloroform to be applied to them so they can wake up peacefully on the other side of the nightmare. It will be so much less painful that way. So let us now watch the DUmmies sprain their fingers on the Panic Button in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, enjoying the sight of his stirred up DUmmie Ant Farm, is in the [brackets]:

THE FIX IS IN!

[All your Diebold machines belong to US!]

The F$#*ing media managed to magically make it appear that the important races are now a dead heat. Let the vote flipping begin. And you know it will. They can't afford to lose as they know they will then be tried. Cheating works and they have no problem with it at all. * has been doing it, and promoying it all his life.

[Better take the chloroform now and wake up in a week. It will be so much less painful that way.]

With a big enough margin we can still pull this off. It will be messy but we can still do it.

[Keep hope alive!]

There is nothing else you can do at this point. Go to your local campaign and volunteer.

[Spend the day ranting at Republicans on the Web!]

VOTE IN OVERWHELMING NUMBERS ..... OVERWHELM THEM AT THE POLLS TUESDAY LIKE YOUR LIFE DEPENDED ON IT. We can take care of anything else after that.

[Methinks you will be voting in UNDERWHELMING NUMBERS...at least when Diebold finishes flipping the vote.]

Our lives DO depend on it. If we don't snatch the country out of the hands of the facists, then half the country is going to have to move: and I don't think Canada and Europe can handle the influx of 175 - 200 million people.

[Or even the influx of the 4000 DUmmies that actually exist.]

And they're also secure in the fact that Lefty's, won't do anything but whine and protest after the fact and they are no longer bothered by that--it's not threatening to them. They know we're unarmed, and will not commit acts of violence over whats been done to us--to the whole f*cking country. So the best thing we can do is swarm to the polls--don't listen to naysayers, just freaking vote.

[I'm sooooo looking forward to the news stories of DUmmies being freaked out at the polling places when they see the name "DIEBOLD" on their voting machines.]

Meet me here on Tuesday night for the celebration ...
... I'll be in the "F*ck the Naysayers" section.

[And fill the ice bucket full of Estrich '04 Victory Champagne bottles.]

The OP is right, the media is inserting a basis to buy the BS result. And he says that we must vote overwhelmingly. Failing that, what...??? I don't feel it's negative to have a plan in case the worst happens again. It's proactive.

[Proactively plan on taking a strong whiff of chloroform before the first vote results are announced.]

That's why we do NOT STOP! 55% is much harder to fake a win!!! OVERWHELMING FORCE!

[Even 65% can't overwhelm the Mighty Diebold.]

One has to wonder if Republicans are secretly planting "the fix is in"... to stop Democrats from turning out to vote.

[Karl Rove is a LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]

Rove is the King of This Sh*!!! He's throwing every turd at the wall to see what might stick. Tuesday night, he'll be pooped... e have to THROW EVERYTHING we have at this one!!!

[Just try not to THROW UP from drinking too much Estrich '04 Victory Champagne.]

WE ARE GOING TO WIN!!!!!!!!!!! GOOD will prevail over EVIL this time! Those bastards are done.....they are NOT going to run this country into the ground any further! PH*CK THE GOPERVERTS! They can ALL rot in hell as far as I'M concerned!

[WE BEEEEEEEELLLEEEEEEVEEEE!!!]

Well at least I can get some yard work done Tuesday.
Then I'll go to bed while the$%%@#* Repubs celebrate yet again. God I'm going to need to up my anti depressant. I wasted about $1K and (between my wife and I) about 20 nights on this election. And with a newborn and a toddler. I feel like such a fekkin' s*cker!

[Look at the bright side. At least you'll have gotten a bunch of yard work done.]

This has to stop. ALL THE MAJOR POLITICAL PUNDITS HAVE ALREADY SAID THE DEMS WILL WIN THE HOUSE BY AT LEAST 25-30 SEATS AND MAY VERY WELL WIN THE SENATE, BUT IT COULD END UP A TIE.

[And MAJOR POLITICAL PUNDITS, like EXIT POLLS, are NEVER WRONG.]

Let's ALL try to remember that orderly and lawful civil action is NEVER the last resort. When every civil action is insufficient and the People are prevented from exerting their sovereignty over their own governance, then civil disobedience all the way up to and including bloody revolution are ALWAYS possible. It's said that a lawful election in a democratic society is a "slow motion" revolution. When it fails, the "fast motion" variety still exists. Indeed, the very threat of such an eventuality is the ONLY thing that keeps wannabe despots looking over their shoulders.

[Keep those Guy Fawkes costumes ready for action.]

Great, so you're telling me I wasted 3 hours of my life canvassing today?

[Since you never got past your basement doorway...Yes.]

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Christmas is coming soon I have the PERFECT Christmas gift item for my DUmmie FUnnies fans. It is a product I have been using myself and fully endorse: the amazing HELICOPTER KITE. This helicopter kite flies like a helicopter. You can make it go hundreds of feet into the air or hover it just a couple of feet off the ground. The propellor rotation is done entirely by windpower. Please check out the VIDEO of the INCREDIBLE helicopter kite. Not only was the helicopter kite aerodynamically designed but it is also MADE IN THE USA! So feel good about purchasing an AMERICAN MADE toy, not produced by Chicom wage-slave labor, which makes the perfect Christmas or birthday gift. The helicopter kites have a LIFETIME warranty so all defective or broken parts will be replaced. Your purchase of the helicopter kite will not only provide you with lots of FUn but it will also help keep the DUmmie FUnnies going. So take a look at the VIDEO and be AMAZED!

p.s. Check out what one of our happy customers had to SAY about the amazing helicopter kite.

Saturday, November 04, 2006

DUmmies Jubilantly Celebrating Their Election Victory

The congressional elections are still 3 days away yet the DUmmies are ALREADY celebrating their tremendous victory. Normal folks wait until a joyous event actually HAPPENS before celebrating it but the DUmmies just can't contain themselves. The ball is still on the 10 yard line but the DUmmies have rushed, sans the ball, into the end zone to do their victory dance as you can see in this THREAD victoriously titled, "Oh Boy, are you watching the coverage of the upcoming destruction of the GOP?" So let us now break out the Estrich '04 Victory Champagne and watch the DUmmies celebrate the victory they are SURE is theirs in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, noticing that Lucy is still holding the football, is in the [brackets]

Oh Boy, are you watching the coverage of the upcoming destruction of the GOP?

[WOO-HOO! WE WON! WE WON! Let's celebrate EARLY!!!]

I have been tuned into MSNBC all morning, here is a summary:

[Republicans are facing a tsunami wave of Democrats about to drive them out of office so they shouldn't even bother to vote. Pretty please, Republicans. Don't vote!]

1) GOP candidates are trailing in all close house races

[According to polls almost as accurate as the 2004 exit polls...]

2) Looks like Dems have pickup momentum in the close Senate races

[According to the MSM, the Democrats have had momentum since the beginning of the year which only keeps increasing so, pretty please, Republicans shouldn't even vote.]

3) Interview with Republicans saying THEY ARE GOING TO RAISE taxes (panic setting in...Yelling at the world...)

[I believe they are called RINOs.]

4) Whora has one interview with a Dems where the GOP person failed to show up to provide an opposite view? Supposedly got busy somewhere (yeah right!)

[Busy having a life.]

5) Joe dead intern Scarface breaks it all down saying they are imploding

[Joe, the politically neutered MSNBC Republican whose whole life now revolves around a desperate effort not to be cancelled by that non-network.]

6) Interview with Pat Buschanon saying it is all over

[Hey, if Pat says its over then it MUST be over. No need to take a break for your pre-election gloating, my little DUmmie.]

7) Then, we bring you a report about a CLOSE Bush religious dude who like anal sex and meth

[Insert ben burch joke here...]

8) MSNBC new poll just came out and the news is very bad for the GOP

[FUnnie but ALL the polls have said the SAME thing all year and we all know that polls can't possibly be wrong.]

Oh wait there is more devastating news:

[Oh goodie. For a moment there I thought you were actually going to wait for the election results to come in before celebrating.]

9) PNAC NeoCons turned against Bush, they think he is a dumbass

[Jimmy CrackCorn also turned against Bush.]

10) Oh my God!!! All military newspapers want Bush to fire Dummy!

[And all the surfer magazines have also attacked Bush!]

11) Someone brought up a picture on the front page of he NYT, a shot soldier in Iraq...etc. not good to see right before 11/7

[Helen Thomas is NEVER good to see at any time.]

12) Oh, and a bunch of Katrina mentions for balance!!!

[How about a bunch of Global Warming mentions? That is also Bush's fault.]

I have not seen a obituary anywhere, I will let you know as soon as it is released...

[You might be SURPRISED as to whose obituary it could turn out to be. And now to hear from the rest of the victoriously celebrating DUmmies...]

This is a thing of beauty.

[Yes. Isn't it BEAUTIFUL to see your election victory that has yet to happen?]

I think the tide is turning!

[Don't get caught in the whirlpool.]

Maybe the country is finally getting energized enough to say, "We've had enough," and are willing to give up their creature comforts long enough to take back their country. So far it has been too much of an inconvenience for them, but we'll see how things develop.

[No need to wait. Celebrate NOW!!!]

Wow. I'm like Allison in Wonderland finally going back through the looking glass.

[More like Allison in DUmmieland watching each other in the looking glass.]

Thank you for the great wake up news. I'm smiling, now.

[HOORAY!!! Karl Rove WILL be indicted on May 12!]

Yeah, Instead of Getting Tighter, DEMS ARE PULLING AWAY!!!!!!!!

[Yeeeeeeeeeeeeehaaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwww!!! Let's count our chickens before they hatch!]

Are you forgetting the Repubs massive vote manipulation ability-that switched millions of votes in 2004 and 2000 and swung the elections?

[KILLJOY!!! Why are you ruining our victory celebrations?]

I'm glad they are all talking about the impending destruction of the repuke party so much! Then, when they steal the election it will be even more obvious to anyone with the IQ of a lima bean what really happened.

[Break out your Guy Fawkes costume!]

this is karmageddon.... for the repubicons it's the end of the world....GOP Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
it's payback time...

[...Said Charlie Brown as Lucy held the football out for him to kick.]

I am basking in the glory of the downfall of that party of thugs and thieves. Everywhere I go, it seems you can feel it in the air. There will be change. Even an election theft won't stop it. Although it might slow it down, the theft of the election will only enrage the public even more. I feel real hope for the first time in years; Americans are waking up and remembering what being American is all about!

[Is that you, Susan Estrich?]

(You can now access the DUmmie FUnnies simply by typing "DUmmieFUnnies.Com" into your URL address box.)

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

I have a VERY SPECIAL offer for my DUmmie FUnnies fans. It is a product I have been using myself and fully endorse: the amazing HELICOPTER KITE. This helicopter kite flies like a helicopter. You can make it go hundreds of feet into the air or hover it just a couple of feet off the ground. The propellor rotation is done entirely by windpower. Please check out the VIDEO of the INCREDIBLE helicopter kite. Not only was the helicopter kite aerodynamically designed but it is also MADE IN THE USA! So feel good about purchasing an AMERICAN MADE toy, not produced by Chicom wage-slave labor, which makes the perfect Christmas or birthday gift. The helicopter kites have a LIFETIME warranty so all defective or broken parts will be replaced. Your purchase of the helicopter kite will not only provide you with lots of FUn but it will also help keep the DUmmie FUnnies going. So take a look at the VIDEO and be AMAZED!

p.s. Check out what one of our happy customers had to SAY about the amazing helicopter kite.

Friday, November 03, 2006

DUmmies Blow Up Over NY Times Nuke Bomb Story

What a coincidence! The New York Times publishes a story claiming that the release of secret Iraqi documents includes sensitive nuclear reasearch secrets from Iraq's 1996 FFCD Full, Final, and Complete Declaration (FFCD-F). However this same information was already dispersed to the member states of the International Atomic Energy Agency (IAEA) which number 142 including Iran. So there was no information released that wasn't already known earlier. You can quickly get up to speed on this by reading the posting of Freeper JVERITAS on the Free Republic. And since the New York Times has now publicized these Iraqi documents which it pretty much ignored before, folks might note that the same document also show that Saddam Hussein was in the process of REBUILDING his nuclear weapons program which means we were justified in overthrowing his regime. Thanx for that little service there, NY Times, even though you really meant to hurt the EVIL Republicans in the upcoming elections. Of course, the DUmmies are now jubilant over the New York Times aid to the Democrats, little realizing that this publicity SHOWS that Saddam took a PERSONAL interest in rebuilding nuclear WMDs as you can see in this THREAD with the somewhat desperate title of "***RED F*CKING ALERT*** WHAT COULD BE MORE IMPORTANT - *** EVERYONE HERE SHOULD READ THIS (PLEASE)." So let us now watch the DUmmies celebrate the election boomerang tossed out there by the New York Times in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, watching the DUmmies attempt to kick Lucy's nuclear football once again, is in the [brackets]:

***RED F*CKING ALERT*** WHAT COULD BE MORE IMPORTANT - *** EVERYONE HERE SHOULD READ THIS (PLEASE)

[PLEASE! PLEASE! SAVE US FROM THE EVIL REPUBLICANS!!!]

BUSH ADMIN POSTED NUCLEAR BOMB BUILDING GUIDE ON INTERNET…

[IAEA DISPERSED THE SAME NUCLEAR "BOMB BUILDING GUIDE" TO 142 NATIONS.]

We have lost nearly 3,000 of our beloved soldiers because of the threat of Iraq having WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION and NOW the Bush administration is f*cking PUBLISHING "nuclear bombs for dummies" on the internet??????

[I'm PUBLISHING DUmmies for DUmmies on the internet. Among the published facts is that the IAEA already distributed the same info.]

Holy shit. Do we realize the significance of this?!!@#$!!! If we don't jump on this with everything we got -- then we DESERVE everything we get.

[All political as the New York Times intended it to be.]

ROFL!!! MY GOD, THE REPUKES ARE GOING TO CATCH HELL FOR THIS!!!

[Take a long running kick at Lucy's football because those same documents show that Saddam was personally planning to rebuild Iraq's nuclear program.]

Yep...who's to say that this isn't the reason N. Korea got the bomb?

[They read the widely distributed IAEA documents?]

The timing would actually be just right, wouldn't it?

[Yeah. Isn't it surprising about the timing of this release by the NY Times just a few days before the election.]

Stress - PRE-1991 nuclear research! This has NOTHING to do with post-Gulf War ALLEGED activities by Iraq.

[Yes. Let us just forget the inconvenient part of those SAME documents that show that in Jan. 2001 that Saddam was personally involved in REBUILDING his nuclear program which proves we were justified in overthrowing his regime.]

If anything will kick off Impeachment later this will be it!

[John Conyers is already preparing his broom closet for the impeachment hearings.]

This is so UNBELIEVABLY HUGE, that I'm having heart palpitations.

[Which will turn into a heart attack late on the night of Nov. 7.]

10:1 odds says that the "liberal" media says something to this extent: "A lot of this information was widey available already on the internet. Does it really even make a difference if our enemies found this new information?"

[You mean like at the IAEA WEBSITE?]

WE NEED A WEEKEND FULL OF "MUSHROOM CLOUD" TV ADS! ARE YOU DEM MEDIA CONSULTANTS PAYING ATTENTION?

[Don't worry. The Republicans will probably show those mushroom cloud TV ads to demonstrate that Saddam was planning on rebuilding his nuclear weapons program just like those SAME documents said.]

Lets see Rove spin this one.

[It was all a secret Rovian plot to publicize the fact that Saddam was planning on rebuilding his nuclear weapons program.]

The information on how to build a bomb has been out there, freely available in libraries across the country for years and decades now, if you knew what you were doing. Hell, back in the seventies a kid from Ohio ginned up a working model of a bomb as a high school project from information he acquired from various local libraries. Yes, the Pentagon, NRC, DOE and others freaked, but they also said that the kid had done such a good job that all he need was some plutonium.
Whether or not Bush put this info out there is immaterial. If a person really wanted to build a bomb, and had training in nuclear physics, they could do so whether or not these documents were released. Yes, the irony is delicious, but the threat is overblown. You would have to remove virtually every single bit of information on nuclear physics if you are that worried, and frankly that's not going to happen.

[And this DUmmie WINS a nuclear powered Kewpie Doll for having a brief moment of mental clarity before he is tombstoned from DUmmieland!]

It might be that these are fairly sophisticated circuits, etc. But having worked in the nuclear industry, knowing what is freely available in the public arena, I stand by my statement. If it wasn't illegal, I would be willing to bet a great deal of money that I could build a bomb within a year using only publicly available documents. Hell, if you have a decent size university nearby, go stroll through their nuclear physics section in their library and see just how detailed these matters get. Again, it isn't the knowlege, or lack there of that is preventing people from building a bomb, it is lack of plutonium that is keeping the bombs out of the hands of ordinary citizens. Hell, go look at the Hiroshima and Nagasaki bombs, they are really quite simple instruments.

[And soon to be tombstoned DUmmie madHound gives us an encore performance of rare DUmmieland RATIONALITY.]

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

p.s. Check out what one of our happy customers had to SAY about the amazing helicopter kite.

Thursday, November 02, 2006

"Hillary put the knife into Kerry's back"

Apparently there is no love lost between Hillary Clinton and John Kerry. It seems that Hillary was more than eager to stab her chief rival for the '08 nomination in the back. Unfortunately, by being so obvious, Hillary has earned the enmity of the DUmmiecrat Left as you can see in this DUmmie THREAD titled, "Hillary put the knife into Kerry's back." It looks like Hillary doesn't have quite the political smarts she is given credit for because John Kerry was already committing political hara-kiri without any help from her. As a result, we now have the career of one potential '08 nominee DOA and the other on life support although Karl Rove can be expected to resuscitate Hillary in time for '08. So let us now watch the DUmmies pile on Hillary in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, watching Hillary commit suicide and murder at the same time, is in the [brackets]:

Newsweek's R. Wolfe: "Hillary put the knife into Kerry's back"

[While committing political hara-kiri at the same time.]

It is hard to imagine something more harmfull to the Democrats than a Leader of the party bolstering the Republicans phony "Kerry was attacking the troops" campaign.

[Master Rove thanx Hillary for that invaluable service.]

But that is exactly what Hillary Clinton did today.
Every Network played a clip of Hillary slamming Kerry's words (which were really about Bush) as "completely inappropriate!"

[Notice how this DUmmie parenthetically strains to excuse Kerry?]

It was cold, harsh and dismissive. Richard Wolfe on MSNBC
referred to it as a "knife in the back."

[I refer to it as a "stab in the back" but I won't quibble over the exact wording.]

Hillary is a brilliant woman, lawyer, senator. I believed she had both principle and brains.

[Brains? Drowning a political opponent while he is already sinking himself?]

She is certainly savvy enough to know what Rove was doing and shouldhave been knocking it down and showing how they were abusing the "troops" in their political ploy.

[Hillary is no match for Master Rove.]

I am trully disgusted. I have met Bill Clinton. He is a great guy.I hope his GOTV campaign tour bear great results. Kerry's efforts were also untiring and deserves respect and I am sure Bill would never had shown the disrespect to Kerry that Hillary did.

[Bill especially never showed disrespect toward a woman named Juanita.]

I am sorry that Bill has to be associated with such a self-serving manipulation engaged in today by his dear wife.

[Poor widdle Bill. An innocent victim of Hillary manipulation.]

I hope the Party understands what it is getting with Hillary.

[Your '08 nominee as decreed by Master Rove. Now to hear from your fellow Hillary hating DUmmies...]

She's setting herself up... For an early 2008 implosion, and I look foward to backing someone who can best help her do that!

[John Kerry has her back.]

Kerry is the only candidate with the financial means to compete against Hillary, and spare us all a Hillary debacle in Fall 2008.

[Kerry's financial means comes in the person of Mama T.]

Why in the world would she do that? Her Senate seat is quite safe, so she doesn't have to suck up to Republicans. Does she think it will help her get the nomination in 2008? By then this brouhaha will be forgotten. Is she trying to screw Kerry so he won't get the nomination? I've tried to like her, but she keeps doing shit that makes that very, very difficult.

[Gee. Maybe Hilllary isn't quite the political genius she thinks she is.]

Kerry is a rival for the nomination, and Hillary, like Lucretia Borgia will dispose of her enemies by any means at her disposal.

[Like the fella says, in Italy for 30 years under the Borgias they had warfare, terror, murder, and bloodshed, but they produced Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci, and the Renaissance. In Switzerland they had brotherly love - they had 500 years of democracy and peace, and what did that produce? The cuckoo clock.]

These are the primaries. And Kerry damaged himself with this and anyone that thinks he comes out of this unscathed is fooling themselves. DU POV is often different than that in the rest of the Democratic community en masse. Quite frankly, I wouldn't vote for either Hillary or Kerry. We can do much better than those two knuckleheads. I'm sick of both of them.

]Dennis Kucinich is still unscathed by this affair.]

She triangulates too much for my liking...

[Quit staring at Hillary's triangulation.]

Our family chooses Clark also! He is a great man and our very best hope.

[And entirely a Clinton creation. Sorry, no go.]

Hillary stuck a knife in Murtha's back as well. Let's make sure we stick a knife in Hillary's back when she runs for President, she deserves it!

[That's a very sticky proposition.]

Two potential 2008 candidates go down in flames over this

-Sen. Kerry's uncanny ability to get "swift boated" for the mildest of mis-steps should show ANYONE in our party that the media would be just as glad to shill for the GOP against him in 2008 as they were in 2004. He is the "velcro' candidate.
-Sen. Clinton comes across as so calculating and unprincipled in incidents like this that she would be exposed as somebody "not to be trusted" quite early in a national campaign. A tough definition to shake... ask Al Gore.

[Al Gore as '08 nomineee? Hmmm.... Well, he is LOONIE enough to satisfy the DUmmies.]

Hillary, well as for me, she will never get my vote- ever.

[It doesn't matter. Karl Rove has decreed that Hillary WILL be your '08 nominee.]

I'm absolutely certain that she will not make it in the 2008 primaries past March. She won't even make it to Super Tuesday. People can smell a rat a mile away.

[I love the smell of fried RAT in the morning.]

Hillary has no core values other than her own ambition, like Nixon. On LGBT rights she told a small group of gays that she was "evolving" on marriage rights for gays. Evolving my ass! Triangulating!

[Hillary was looking for her triangle.]

So Hilary put her personal campaign for President ahead of Democrats winning this election in 1 week.

[You have to give Hillary credit for keeping her priorities straight.]

We can fight this fight next week - We need to stay united today. The focus should be on Bush.

[Or on a bushy triangulation.]

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

p.s. Check out what one of our happy customers had to SAY about the amazing helicopter kite.

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

"Kerry gave the Republicans the break they were dreaming about"

It only took a day but the DUmmies, after PRAISING John Kerry yesterday, are now turning on Mama T's Boy Toy today as you can see in this THREAD angrily titled, "Kerry gave the Republicans the break they were dreaming about." How does that song go? "What a difference a day makes?" So yesterday's hero is now today's shlump. So let us now watch the DUmmies cast stones on their erstwhile hero in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, watching Kerry's fortunes sink deep beneath the political sea, is in the [brackets]:

Kerry gave the Republicans the break they were dreaming about

[Thanx for your Halloween Surprise, Johnny!]

It just doesn't matter what Kerry meant when he stuck his foot in his mouth AGAIN. It's the PERCEPTION that counts, and the Republicans are going to run with it, just as we would if one of them made a similarly DUMB remark.

[John Kerry proved himself to be a DUmb DUmmie.]

When I was a kid, my father taught me that people who are smart aren't always smart in all aspects. Some of the most seemingly intelligent people can be extremely lacking in certain ways.

[Like in the common sense department.]

Doesn't this guy ever think AHEAD to any possible ramifications of his remarks? Aren't most politicians supposed to be aware...and careful of what comes out of their mouths? Jesus H Christ, I never dreamed Kerry could top his Lesbian gaffe of 2004 with something like this, but he most certainly came through in flying colors. Impossible as it could seem, the guy just hit a home run...only for the other team! Ouch!!

[Don't forget to reward Kerry with your nomination in 2008.]

The long-term damage, however, will probably be minimal
The short-term damage is another story. Tony Snow is on C-SPAN trying Hitler's old routine of making the lie big enough that the whole nation believes it. But Kerry's poor choice of phrasing doesn't help our cause much.

[Depressing reality is finally setting in on the DUmmies after their jubilation of yesterday.]

If we don't gain a house NOW. I'd say that's plenty of long term damage.

[Would you settle for an outhouse NOW?]

Kerry apparently never bothered to read George Lakoff, and this has hurt him.

[And what does "Lakoff" rhyme with?]

No one's paying attention to his statement. The issue has
been framed "Did John Kerry call our troops stupid?" That's not fair, but it was ENTIRELY predictable. Which is why Kerry should have done damage control instead of making himself the story by going on the attack.

[All that DUmmie cheering yesterday hailing Kerry as a hero---NEVER MIND!]

Was Kerry trying to be esoteric again? It doesn't work in this electorate.

[Kerry was trying to be nuanced again.]

yup, issue has been framed. The proper response would have been a tactical decision to apolgize, and shut up till after the election. Then Kerry would be free to go after his critics. It was a very poor decision to make this a fight less than a week before an election.

[So much for the much vaunted Kerry "brilliance."]

Yesterday was great. But today he's too wordy again.

[Welcome to the ride on the Kerry popularity rollercoaster.]

the non apology apology is the worst type...if he'd just said nothing it would have been better...then the pundits would have been discussing whether or not his point had merit in the first place.

[Even worse was Kerry's partial birth apology of today.]

The short term damage is likely minimal. I doubt this has significant impact on too many current races. I do think this will effectively sink any chance for Kerry to be elected in '08, however.

[John Kerry has your back but NOT your vote.]

If Kerry needs an interpreter, however, that means he's screwed

[Anybody in the house speak nuanced Boston Brahmin?]

I can't help this deep, dark, bleak feeling in my gut that we just got SERIOUSLY set back by this. It was the red meat the starving citizens of Dumbf*ckistan were pleading for. ANYTHING to remind them why they should cling to the republi-CONS next Tuesday, and I can't help feeling as though Kerry just served it to them, free of charge, on a silver platter with sterling flatware and crystal stemware, AND all the trimmings.

[BURP!]

Dear GOD, didn't he learn ANYTHING from 2004? ANYTHING AT ALL??? And he says he's ready to take on the swifties this time? Is he frickin' kidding? Oh, he gets it. Yeah, sure. He'll do it better next time. God help us if he DOES get a next time. THIS is dress-rehearsal for the next time and he just f*cked up. AGAIN. And at a critical time when we can't afford ANY fuckups, or even the PERCEPTION of a f*ckup - or even the distorted, misrepresented, spun, misconstrued, LIED-ABOUT, completely inaccurate and unfounded PERCEPTION. PERCEPTION IS STILL EVERYTHING. And evidently Kerry is determined to prove his perception is straight up his backside.

[John Kerry has your backside...or at least ben burch has your backside.]

As has been said farther upthread, nobody has any time, or any interest, in hearing the reinterpretation or the "what he MEANT to say." Nobody cares. The damage has been done. The damned thing has been framed. Thanks John. Thanks a f*ckin' HEAP. I was feeling pretty good about next Tuesday until John Kerry had to go and open his damned yap.

[Maybe you should take the chloroform now to spare yourself severe electoral pain. Best if you set the dosage so you don't wake up until December.]

This time, Dems are caught between a rock and a hard place
They would like to make sure people are aware that Kerry meant something different than what it sounded like coming out of his mouth, but at the same token our Dems have to be careful not to come off as being equated with the same philosophy when they stick up for him. It's bad enough that one high profile Democrat made this blunder of words, and the rest of them sure don't want to be misconceived as having coinciding views. Yes, they need to find ways to explain what he "meant", but it'll be like walking a tight rope.

[Can I get me a Nuance license?]

That's part of the problem. Kerry persistently puts other people in the position of having to "explain" what he "really meant." I seem to recall going through some of that in the autumn of 2004, as well. Karl Rove: "If you're explaining, you're losing." So. I'll be explaining. But the damage has been done.

[Even the DUmmies turn to Master Rove for political guidance.]

This DRIVES ME NUTS!!!!

[And all this time we thought you were already at that point.]

This is the second campaign in a row where he has helped the supposed opponent. He is such an insider.

[Hey! Don't put down Kerry too much. William Rivers Pitt still needs him to cling to hopelessly in a futile search for a political career.]

I see this boosting GOP GOTV efforts. And extending the newscycles guarantees firing up the GOP base, which in close races could make a difference.

[Your Kewpie Doll is in the mail.]

I can only hope he didn't f*ck up chances of taking control of the House, but this is great red meat for the repukes. I even think this might have some effect on close senate races. I hope I'm wrong though. But this worries me.

[You're sweating almost as much as Chris Matthews.]

Looks like we just got bent over again for the mid-terms. Next, he will f*ck us again by running for president.

[You just put a big smile on ben burch's face.]

He should have quickly fixed the problem and blast the GOP after for taking it out of context! Now he gave them a chance to rally their base! This might be enough for the repugs to run to the polls and rally around the troops, because that's how the those idiots think!

[That's because we are mind-numbed robots who march in lockstep.]

(You can now access the DUmmie FUnnies simply by typing "DUmmieFUnnies.Com" into your URL address box.)

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

p.s. Check out what one of our happy customers had to SAY about the amazing helicopter kite.

John Kerry's Halloween Surprise

Just as October was ending, John Kerry presented us with his Halloween Surprise. In case you didn't notice, the Democrat October Surprise in the form of the revelation that Mark Foley had gay non-sex via e-mail hit several weeks too early. In fact, it hit at the end of September when the overeager DEMOCRAT party operative running the "Stop Sex Predators" Blog jumped the gun and revealed the Foley e-mail, forcing Brian Ross of ABC News to do his report, fed to him by the Democrats, ahead of schedule. As a result, most people have pretty much forgotton about Mark Foley. The second Democrat October Surprise, in the form of the David Kuo book, suggesting that evangelicals conveniently take a break from politics, completely fizzled out. However, the Democrats did not let us down with their inadvertent Halloween October Surprise when John Kerry told a dopey joke that backfired bigtime. Kerry suggested that if you don't do good in school, you end up stuck in Iraq. Then Kerry made things even worse with his unconvincing excuse that he REALLY meant that Bush would be stuck in Iraq and that anybody who didn't get his strained interpretation of his joke was crazy. Of course, the DUmmies are now nervously defending Kerry as you can see in this THREAD titled, "I’m not going to be lectured by a stuffed suit White House mouthpiece." Yes, they are sticking up for Kerry but deep down you just know they had wished Kerry had kept his mouth shut and not blown the election for them. So let us now watch the DUmmies nervously defend Kerry in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, suggesting that Kerry try to improve his joke delivery at tryout night at the Laugh Factory, is in the [brackets]:

KERRY: "I’m not going to be lectured by a stuffed suit White House mouthpiece"

[As opposed to being lectured to a stiff suit MA Senator.]

October 31, 2006

[Happy Halloween, DUmmies!]

Statement of John Kerry Responding to Republican Distortions, Pathetic Tony Snow Diversions and Distractions

[Is that a John Kerry press release or is it from MSNBC's "Hardball" show?]

Washington – Senator John Kerry issued the following statement in response to White House Press Secretary Tony Snow, assorted right wing nut-jobs, and right wing talk show hosts desperately distorting Kerry’s comments about President Bush to divert attention from their disastrous record:

[WOW! This is an actual official press release from John Kerry's office and it sounds like it was written by DUmmie ben burch.]

“If anyone thinks a veteran would criticize the more than 140,000 heroes serving in Iraq and not the president who got us stuck there, they're crazy. This is the classic G.O.P. playbook. I’m sick and tired of these despicable Republican attacks that always seem to come from those who never can be found to serve in war, but love to attack those who did.

[John, I think it is about time for you to set an appointment with Dr. Buddy Rydell for some intensive Anger Management therapy.]

I’m not going to be lectured by a stuffed suit White House mouthpiece standing behind a podium, or doughy Rush Limbaugh, who no doubt today will take a break from belittling Michael J. Fox’s Parkinson’s disease to start lying about me just as they have lied about Iraq. It disgusts me that these Republican hacks, who have never worn the uniform of our country lie and distort so blatantly and carelessly about those who have.

[Still ANGRY about losing in 2004, huh?]

The people who owe our troops an apology are George W. Bush and Dick Cheney who misled America into war and have given us a Katrina foreign policy that has betrayed our ideals, killed and maimed our soldiers, and widened the terrorist threat instead of defeating it. These Republicans are afraid to debate veterans who live and breathe the concerns of our troops, not the empty slogans of an Administration that sent our brave troops to war without body armor.

[Don't apologize, John. Just lash out wildly. Blame Republicans rather than yourself.]

Bottom line, these Republicans want to debate straw men because they’re afraid to debate real men. And this time it won’t work because we’re going to stay in their face with the truth and deny them even a sliver of light for their distortions. No Democrat will be bullied by an administration that has a cut and run policy in Afghanistan and a stand still and lose strategy in Iraq.”

[Yup! Your 2004 election loss has hurt worse than I thought. Oh, and thanks to your dopey joke, you can FORGET about 2008. And now to hear from Kerry's DUmmie defenders...]

kick ass kerry.........doesnt get any better than this.

[It sure doesn't get any better than this. Kerry just lost the Democrats a ton of votes.]

bwahaha, stuffed suit Snowjob---Kerry will never again be SWIFTBOATED!

[Or SWIFTJOKED!]

Senator Kerry, don't let them get away with anything! You're hitting back hard and doing great!

[...for the Republicans.]

Republicans with media access demanding apologies is just the way to get this into the echo chamber-it may work.

[Uh-oh!]

One way for DEMS to get media exposure is to "fool" the media & Republicans into repeating your "outrageous" statements for you. Either the strategists finally figured this out or it happened by accident- either way, good stuff!!!

[LOL! This is like Inspector Clouseau falling over a sofa while interviewing a suspect and then declaring that it was ALL planned in advance.]

I predict BushInc will end up regretting they blew this up.

[Keep repeating that until you can almost believe it yourself.]

They keep giving us the news cycle.

[All according to the brilliant John Kerry news cycle plan.]

So Kerry made the statement on purpose knowing it would piss off the repugs, so he could respond and showcase their lies and miserable policy failures, or something like that? And they fell for it, hook, line and sinker. Pure genius!

[All planned in advance by Inspector Clouseau Kerry.]

I don't know - but he's SEIZING the day.

[Well, Kerry did have a brain seizure, that's for sure.]

Or perhaps he really is pissed off. I love a pissed off Kerry because he's so passionate when he's pissed off.

[I love a pissed off Kerry because he is BLOWING it for the Demcrats.]

Of course, this will drum up the repub idiot base, but that's okay, we knew they'd use whatever they could to smear something to get the elderly church goers flustered, so it's going to be a combo of gay marriage and Kerry "troop mocking".

[I'm glad to hear that a fired up Republican base is okay with you.]

I agree...I think the pukes were baited. It is hard to imagine after so many years of THEM tricking US, but I sincerely think that Kerry was ready for this. And now the debate shifts right back to Iraq. That favors us by a mile.

[Inspector Clouseau Kerry didn't really fumble. He had it all planned out in advance.]

I like this version of Kerry.

[The stupid angry version works fine for me too.]

I always knew that inside the restrained Kerry in 2004 was a lion dying to get out. Look out GOP, the lion has escaped!

[Inside the restrained Kerry in 2004 was a mind dying to get out. Look out DEMOCRATS, the mind has escaped!]

YEAH ! good rant John !!!!!!!

[Your rabid foam looks so compelling!!!!!!!]

He and Gore both seem to have found their balls AFTER losing elections...

[And both seem to have also lost their minds AFTER losing elections...]

Love it when he's off his leash!

[And off his rabies shots!]

Holy Shit! It seems like Dems are finaly learning how to fight to win!

[More like fight to lose.]

learning from Dr. Dean

[YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!]

Why is Kerry denying having said what the video shows him saying? If that's what he believes, he should stand behind it. What's wrong with standing by what he said?

[And this soon to be tombstoned DUmmie WINS a Kewpie Doll for having a brief moment of mental clarity!]

He mispoke. He meant to say "get us stuck in Iraq." Meaning
George Bush didn't do well enough in school to understand the complexities of the region, much less to understand he can't just beat people up to get his way. Kerry has said what he meant to say, but he is not going to apologize to a bunch of liars who pretend to support the troops.

[Excuses. Excuses.]

And isn't it the truth? Eliminate the military college people, the doctors, nurses, and specilaists and what is left? There are probably very few college grads in the miltary and I don't know of any on a campus right now who somehow are in Iraq at the same time. Now there might be some gung ho types on campus who talk a good game, but are they quitting school for Iraq? Not likely.

[Is that you, John Kerry?]

It was a stupid remark, off the cuff at time when Dems can't afford f*ck ups. This pisses me off - a stupid ass mistake close to the election.

[A Reality Check DUmmie. Sorry, only one Kewpie Doll awarded per thread.]

It pisses me off that he would be so arrogant and careless when other Dem candidates have been working their asses off to run good campaigns.

[John Kerry's Trick has turned into a GOP Treat!]

John, you are not going to be the nominee in 2008 - please let us run this one without you. And please ...STFU!

[Shhhh! Kerry's on a roll!]

And Kerry, STFU, no one needs this crap right now. Kerry just dealt Rove an ace and I'm sick about it.

[Never play poker against Master Rove.]

I don't think his plan was to mis-speak so he would get attacked and then come back fighting mad. He screwed up and it could hurt the dems.

[It looked like he bungled but it was all planned that way in advance by Inspector Clouseau Kerry.]

Who knew that Kerry would be the GOP's October Surprise.

[Happy Halloween!]

I really don't understand all of those here who are congratulating themselves over this. Kerry stepped in it and with a week to go, the media is focusing on whether or not the Democrats hate the troops. This is bull shit and Kerry should have known better. This is why he can't win a national election. He has all the charisma of a wolverine. Perhaps he can repair the damage with a few dozen six syllable words. That should play well in Kansas. Yes, I know he's right, but that's besides the point. The average american will see this a a slap at those who are currently serving in Iraq. And why shouldn't they? Many of them volunteered out of sincere patriotism. The fact that they were mislead is irrelevant, at this point. They die, and Kerry pokes fun at them. Way to go, John.

[Way to go, John.]

Stupid ass mistake on Kerry's part. It was a dumb remark, one easily misinterpreted. Its so unfair to all the Dems who have been working so hard this election season. Someone put a muzzle on Kerry and send him off to go windsurfing or something.

[Or waterboarding or something.]

Kerry and Pelosi need to SHUT THE F*CK UP! At least until Nov 8th. Unless your spouting the failures of this retarded administration, or continually hitting them where it hurts, (Foley, Ambramoff... etc.), keep your trap shut, lest you say something really stupid that the Repigs can spin into damage for us. I'm so fucking pissed right now, I can't believe it. I even started coming up with conspiracy theories that Kerry is a Repig plant, why else would he have conceded in '04 so easily? Now this horse-shit! I realize that people are passionate about what they believe, now more than ever, but WE DON"T NEED THIS KIND OF CRAP RIGHT NOW! Jesus help us... I can just hear Rush Limpdick shitting himself with glee right now...

[Keep speaking up, Kerry and Pelosi!]

Kerry is OK...but he should quit while he's ahead...
but he doesn't...he always manages to step in dogshit in the middle of a speech and making himself look foolish, trying to shake it off his shoe.

[I have confidence in Kerry that he will make it even worse.]

I don't know if it will do them any good, but it certainly doesn't help our cause. It's easy for us to be in John's corner and get fired up in the heat of battle, but the REAL battle is over the voters who haven't decided HOW to vote or WHETHER to vote. We're counting on some voters who have to hold their nose to vote for a Democrat, and some of them will be turned off by Kerry's remark. We also need rethug voters to stay home, and the GOP will try to use this to get them fired up and to the polls.

[A lot of DUmmies vying for Kewpie Dolls in this thread. Sorry, but I already used up my quota.]

Gosh, maybe his original remarks were bait for a pretty ingenious trap. Get these pussies to spout off, impugning his respect for soldiers, then shoving their fat, lying faces in it.

[Inspector Clouseau Kerry's bungle was really bait for a pretty ingenious trap.]

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

p.s. Check out what one of our happy customers had to SAY about the amazing helicopter kite.

DUmmie FUnnies

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

"Oh, you silly Americans!"

"Jonathan Alter just said on Olbermann that Kerry is 'through'"

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

KOmmies Slam America Now That Election Is Over

Monday, November 27, 2006

"Al From is a cancer on the Democratic Party"

Saturday, November 25, 2006

Katie Couric Interviews Mark Foley's Priest

Friday, November 24, 2006

"Pelosi wants to pick Alcee Hastings for Intel char?"

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Steny Hoyer Seeks Protection Help From The Godfather

"Rangel needs to be taken out in the 2008 primary"

Saturday, November 18, 2006

"IT'S GOT TO BE SECRETLY BOUGHT"

Friday, November 17, 2006

John Edwards Sacrifices Political Future For A Playstation 3

Blowhard Jack Murtha Blogs Blather

Thursday, November 16, 2006

"What on Earth Did Schumer Say to Kerry?"

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

"How is BORAT any different than BLACKFACE?"

Monday, November 13, 2006

"James Carville is on a one-man mission to destroy the Democratic Congress"

Saturday, November 11, 2006

Democrat Civil War Begins

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

"IMPEACH BUSH!"

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

"If we don't win (and we will) mark my words: It was stolen"

"I am so anxious"

Monday, November 06, 2006

"THE FIX IS IN!"

Saturday, November 04, 2006

DUmmies Jubilantly Celebrating Their Election Victory

Friday, November 03, 2006

DUmmies Blow Up Over NY Times Nuke Bomb Story

Thursday, November 02, 2006

"Hillary put the knife into Kerry's back"

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

"Kerry gave the Republicans the break they were dreaming about"

John Kerry's Halloween Surprise

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