Tuesday, September 26, 2006

DUmmies Underwhelmed By Joe Biden's Presidential Candidacy Announcement



The first of the contenders for the Democrat nomination for president in '08 announced his candidacy this past weekend and hardly anyone noticed. The few people who did notice were notably underwhelmed, whether they be of the Left or Right. Perhaps this is because the newly announced candidate is the blowhard serial plagiarizer with the tranplanted Chia-Pet hair that few (except himself) take seriously---Senator Joe Biden. Personally, I am happy that Joe Biden is going to run because his histrionic antics will provide a WEALTH of comedic material for the DUmmie FUnnies. In fact, I am currently looking for Biden's best comedy performance ever. It is a video from about 20 years ago when during a Senate Foreign Relations Committee hearing, Biden had a nervous breakdown implosion while questioning then Secretary of State George Shultz about Africa policy. It has to be SEEN to be believed. If found, this video will definitely hit the top of the YouTube chart for popular videos. So my homework assignment for you DUFU fans out there is to locate that Biden Meltdown video so I can post the link an an update to this edition of the DUmmie FUnnies. Even if Biden had the slightest of chances to be nominated, that video alone would knock him out of contention. You don't want a President with his finger on the nuclear button if he acts like he needs to be institutionalized as is the case with Biden in the video. Of course, that damning video won't be necessary to keep him from the presidency since Bidens long record of blow hard histrionics has turned off even the Left as you can see in this DUmmie THREAD titled, "Biden says he's going to run." So let us now watch even the DUmmies look upon Biden with complete disdain in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, wondering why I am the first PJ-Comix in a thousand generations to have a web blog, is in the [brackets]:



Biden says he's going to run




[And almost nobody noticed.]




Sen. Joe Biden, D-Del., bucked a trend by announcing his intention to run for president over the weekend - distinguishing himself from other visiting hopefuls who have dodged the question on their respective visits to Iowa.



[Yeah. The trend is that you wait until at least AFTER the mid-term elections before announcing your candidacy. Of course, such an unspoken rule does not apply to egotistic blowhards that love to hear the sound of their own voices talking about nothing in general.]



Biden swept through eastern Iowa on Sept. 23, stumping and raising money for Democratic congressional hopeful Dave Loebsack during a two-day tour of the state.




[Loebsack? Any relation to the equally unknown Tom Vilsack?]




"I'm coming back next year to do something else," Biden said near the end of his speech in Cedar Rapids, referring to next fall's run-up to Iowa's January 2008 caucuses, which signal the official start of the presidential election cycle.




[Biden is coming back to Iowa next year to deliver another long-winded, possibly plagiarized speech.]




Delaware's senior senator touched on health care, the minimum wage, the balance of power in Congress, and the overall direction of the country to the crowd of roughly 40 Democratic supporters.




[Most of the 40 were probably there to chow down on the free eats, not to listen to the Senatorial Chia Pet endlessly pontificate to death subjects they aren't paying attention to.]




blah. The less you know about Biden the better he looks.



[But the more you know about Biden the FUnnier he looks.]



Biden is poll worthy.. That is, if anyone cares to do a poll about him running..



[I have noticed that polls about prospective Democrat presidential candidates rarely include Biden in the listings. Maybe his candidacy announcement is Biden's way of declaring, "Hey, looky me! I EXIST!!!"]



The only support Biden will get is from a jockstrap.




[Extra-large if it is John Kerry's jockstrap. John Kerry wants you to know he wears an EXTRA-LARGE jockstrap.]



He's running on a platform of appeasement. A sure winner. F*ck Biden and everything about him. He has NO spine.



[Does this mean that you don't like Joe Biden?]




Biden can kiss my happy backside! Freakin' bloviating blowhard.




[Hey, it sounds like Pied Piper Pitt can get a job with the Biden campaign. Freakin' bloviating blowhards are known to bond right away.]




I know someone who went to Syracuse Law with him who said his reputation was that he was not smart at all. Where did this idea that he was smart come from?




[From Joe Biden.]




War on Plagiarism Threat Level: Red: Severe Risk




[LOL! Even DUmmies sometimes come up with FUnnie laugh lines on purpose.]




He hasn't got the proverbial snowball's chance in hell.



[True. But he will be a great unintentional supplier of comedy material for the DUmmie FUnnies so I welcome Joe into the '08 presidential race.]



Just how out of touch with reality is he?



[Shhh! Don't discourage Joe. He is an impressive candidate in his own mind.]



Is this why he rushes toward any available camera?




[He wants to show off the progress of his Chia Pet hair.]




The most dangerous place in America, is between
Joe Biden and a television camera...




[Did Joe run over Chuck Schumer?]




Oh brother....I'll look forward to his preening and posturing..




[Me too!]




Every time Biden opens his mouth it just seems way more obviously calculating and designed to get him press and attention than it does for most other people. I am not naive and realize this is the case with most politicians but with Biden I just think he's so shitty at hiding it.




[Joe finds it impossible to hide his narcissism.]




Joe, put the bong down, Joe.




[And have a hit from the crack pipe.]



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2 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

For once I agree with the DUmmies. A more transparent asswipe will be most difficult to find.

--Rodolfo--

2:54 PM  
Anonymous Jason said...

Seconded.

It's trully odd to see that, atleast in the case of Joe Biden, we honestly agree on quite a lot.

7:38 PM  

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