DUmmie FUnnies 06-15-05 (Pied Piper Pitt Self-Morphs From Nehru To Martin Luther)
Pied Piper Pitt’s bloated sense of absurd self-importance has allowed himself to morph from Jawaharial Nehru to Martin Luther within the course of just a day as you can see in his hyper-bloviated DUmmie THREAD titled, “Nail It to the White House Door.” Unfortunately for Pitt this whole Downing Street Memo shtick is going nowhere so in a few weeks we can expect him to morph down to Bozo the Clown when he turns himself into a laughingstock yet again. Sorry, Pitt, your ridiculous comparison of yourself with Martin Luther holds no water. The last time I checked, after Martin Luther nailed Ninety-Five theses to the church door, he didn’t follow it up by nailing Ninety-Five retractions to the same door as would have been your style. So let us now watch the absurdity of Pied Piper Pitt once again making believe he is an important historical figure in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, morphing himself into H.L. Mencken to expose Pitt’s foibles, is in the [brackets]:
Nail It to the White House Door
[Something has already been nailed into your head 95 times, Pitt, but continue with your comedy act…]
Almost five hundred years ago, Martin Luther nailed his Ninety-Five Theses to the door of the Wittenberg Church, initiating a sequence of events which forever altered the geometry of global religion, politics and power. Luther's Theses began with the words, "Out of love for the truth and the desire to bring it to light, the following propositions will be discussed at Wittenberg."
[Almost 5 days ago, Pied Piper Pitt nailed his Ninety-Five Feces to the outhouse door, initiating a sequence of laughter which forever altered his brain.]
Another document is going to be nailed to another door on Thursday, June 16th. This door opens not to a church, but to the White House. This document is freighted with hard truths, stern demands and nearly a million names. This document, once nailed up, likewise carries with it all the possibilities of change.
[Sorry to disturb your analogy, Pitt, but you will get NOWHERE near the White House door. First you have to go through a phalanx of Freepers laughing at you, then you will be facing the Secret Service who will be body slamming you to the ground if you so much as try to step foot past the White House gate.]
The American military has all but conceded the fact that this war is lost. "I think the more accurate way to approach this right now is to concede that this insurgency is not going to be settled, the terrorists and the terrorism in Iraq is not going to be settled, through military options or military operations," Brig. Gen. Donald Alston, chief American military spokesman in Iraq, said last week. "It's going to be settled in the political process." There are no more viable military options. The war is lost. It is going to be settled in the political process.
[You win the Jayson Blair Journalism Award for concluding the general said something he did NOT say. Read the quote again. General Alston did NOT say “The war is lost.” That conclusion is only in the inflamed mind of one Pied Piper Pitt.]
On Thursday, June 16th, Rep. John Conyers will hold a hearing to investigate and expose the facts revealed by the release of the Downing Street Minutes and the other documents. A variety of witnesses will be called to describe the contents of these documents, and to describe what has been done to Iraq, and to us all, by this administration. Lurking in the corners of the hearing will be a phrase - "High Crime" - that aptly describes what has taken place.
[Will Andy Stephenson be lurking in the corners of the hearing? The phrase –“High Crime” – that aptly describes the fraud that has taken place thanks largely to your cheerleading of the Andy Scam.]
The Conyers hearing will be held on Thursday at 2:30pm EST in room HC-9 in the Capitol Building in Washington DC. This is a small room, so any overflow of public viewers will be directed to the Wasserman Room in the headquarters of the Democratic National Committee.
[And the overflow from the Wasserman Room will be directed to the Rubber Room, also in the headquarters of the Democratic National Committee.]
At 5:00pm EST, a rally will take place in Lafayette Park, at the gates of the White House. Rep. Conyers will speak, along with Ambassador Joseph Wilson and Cindy Sheehan, who lost her son Casey in Iraq in May 2003, as Bush was unfurling his "Mission Accomplished" banner. The hearing and rally have been organized by the After Downing Street coalition, a collection of more than 120 organizations and news outlets that came together for the purpose of nailing the facts of the Downing Street Minutes to the White House door.
[Although Joseph Wilson has missed out on his desire to see Karl Rove frogwalked to a waiting police car, perhaps he can be compensated by watching YOU being frogwalked to a cop car when you are busted for being Scamdy’s co-conspirator.]
That, just before the opening of the rally on Thursday, is exactly what will happen. Several weeks ago, Rep. Conyers published a letter demanding answers from the Bush administration regarding the Minutes. That letter has been signed by more than one hundred Congresspeople, and by nearly a million American citizens. Rep. Conyers will personally deliver this letter and all those signatures to the White House on Thursday.
[“I would like some answers. No wait and see. I have spent time with Andy, worked with him, thought I knew him well enough to vouch for him in a time of crisis. I am feeling personally betrayed right now, and furthermore I have put far more than my own feelings and standing on the line here.”]
Jawaharlal Nehru, who with Mahatma Gandhi successfully freed India from British colonial rule, once said, "A moment comes, which comes but rarely in history, when we step out from the old to the new, when an age ends, and when the sound of a nation, long suppressed, finds utterance."
[You already did your Nehru shtick, Pitt. Now you are into your overblown comparison of yourself to Martin Luther. Maybe you can combine the two and dress up like Martin Luther wearing a Nehru jacket nailing 95 theses into the door of Scamdy’s 5-star hotel suite.]
Thursday, June 16th, may see such a moment come to pass. It has been a long time coming, and so much remains to be done if the terrible damage of these last years is to be repaired. But a moment is before us. Let us see where this moment takes us.
[It will take you to the Rubber Room mentioned earlier. Now let your fellow loons chime in, Pitt.]
Thanks Will! and John Conyers, and DU! we will turn this around yet!.
[Yes. It will be as effective as the Jeff Gannon “scandal” in getting Bush impeached.]
Bravo...........we now need to hoist the bastards on their own petards.
[Pitt has already been hoisted on Scamdy’s petard.]
Just heard that C-SPAN 2 might be re-airing too... Finally we get some answers!!!!
[Just heard that Comedy Channel might be re-airing too… Finally we get some laughs!!!]
F*cking A Will! After every paragraph I kept saying, "Yah!"
[While the sane people, after every paragraph kept laughing, “Hah!”]
I've thought recently that Karen Kwiatkowski would be an important player in working through the DSM and other evidence. Is she speaking at the Conyers hearing? Has she weighed in recently on the memos?
[Have they let her out of her padded cell?]
The venue has changed! Thank God. That was the weakest thing about this hearing. Having it at the DNC virtually guaranteed it to have the stamp of partisanship on it.
[NEWSFLASH! The overflow crowd will be directed to the Wasserman Room of the DNC so it IS guaranteed to have the stamp of partisanship on it. FYI, the Wasserman Room overflow will be directed to the DNC Rubber Room now renamed the Howard Dean Room.]
The truth hurts and I want to see more of it
[Okay, here goes: George W. Bush will serve out his full term and will be succeeded by Dick Cheney who will in turn serve two full terms. The truth hurts but you said you wanted to see more of it.]
you too, Will, will go down as a hero of democracy
[Or, at the very least, a Nehru/Luther morpher.]
DU, start contacting MSM and asking (demanding) Media Coverage!!
[The Comedy Channel needs more material!]