Tuesday, June 07, 2005

DUmmie FUnnies 06-07-05 ("I Believe" ...AGAIN!!!)

I CAN’T BEEEEELEEEEVE! I CAN’T BEEEEELEEEEVE! I CAN’T BEEEEELEEEEVE at this late date that the DUmmies have yet ANOTHER “I BEEEELEEEVE” THREAD going in DUmmieland. As you may remember, DUmmie Doohickie started several “I BELIEVE” threads following last November’s election in which he and others expressed their FERVENT belief that John Kerry would be inaugurated on Jan. 20. This series of threads continued until about he middle of January when even DUmmie Doohickie was bowled over by harsh reality. So now it is almost 6 months since Inauguration Day and we have ANOTHER “I BEEELEEEVE” thread. So are they trying to create their own reality of going back in a time machine and from that point creating a new reality of Kerry being inaugurated? No. The new “I BEEELEEEVE” theme eschews any specificity whatever in favor of a general feel-good theme along the lines of “I BEEELEEEVE the Baddies will be driven from power and then good stuff gotta happen.” I BEEELEEEVE the DUmmie yearnings are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, hardly BELIEVING that the DUmmies are willing to make themselves such laughingstocks again, is in the [brackets]:

I Believe.

[We know, DUmmie bleever, and we look forward to your comedy act. Continue your shtick…]

I believe a few things are true at this moment in history.

[Start the drum roll for the punchlines…]

First, that the theft of the election of 2004 continues to grow more evident and obvious, and that the grand forces of history are joined with the energy of a great many passionate Americans who won’t rest under the rotten mantle that has settled upon us.

[I think you have been watching too many old campy monster Japanese movies with the theme of radioactive creatures… “Day by day, grand forces of history have joined with radioactive energy that won’t rest under the rotten mantle of the earth to form a race of tiny DUmmies.”]

Second, that the anti-democratic forces that have managed to gain a grip on the three branches of our federal government, intimidate the press out of being the watchdogs they have historically been, and who brought us to war on the basis of lies and their ability to game all the national and international systems, have made a fatal error. They have underestimated the decency of Americans.

[Buck Rogers in the 25th Century. Same theme. Anti-Democratic forces took over the country but they underestimated the decency of Americans AND the power of Buck Rogers.]

You can’t really blame them; they themselves don’t possess that decency.

[Because the EVIL Republicans are Morlocks---“The Time Machine.”]

The decency to say that any system that allows innocent people to be tortured to death, because of our suffering and fear, is not what we stand for.

[We can’t help it. The Democrat Eloi just meekly line up at the sound of the whistle to enter the underground Morlock caverns.]

The decency to see the wisdom of the way the U.S. Constitution apportions the power to send American men and women onto the battlefield of war.

The decency to actually believe that it should be the decision of the people, through their votes, to choose their government.

[I regret to inform you, DUmmie bleever, that your high school paper is only going to get a grade of “D” due to it’s utter lack of constitutional knowledge plus not having the slightest bit of specificity whatever.]

And as surely as I know that they would effectively destroy the two-party system, I know and believe that they are failing. Because they don’t understand the decency of America and what it really stands for, and really thrives on.

[You get a coupon discount to Disney World every time you write “decency.”]

Americans don’t roll over. Not for terrorists. And not for those who think that they can wrest the miracle of representative democracy from the people of this nation. Go ahead: read Machiavelli. Study all the greatest bosses, kaisers, caesers, emperors, and consolidators of power. Do your best. One problem: power resides in the people. If you try to gather it all unto yourself, it’s going to spill back out.

[Why does one get the feeling that not only has DUmmie bleever NOT read Machiavelli but almost no history whatever?]

The months since the election have been abundant with fruit for everyone who, seeing the election stolen, breathed deep, got mad, and knew that justice would eventually prevail.

[Maybe Mighty Mouse will show up. HERE HE COMES TO SAVE THE DAY!!!]

I Believe.

[I Believe that John Kerry will be inaugurated on Jan. 20. Ooops! That didn’t work out. Now I Believe in just that the bad guys are gonna have, like, bad stuff happen to them and, like, things are gonna be good for the good guys, you know?]

This is a sight for sore eyes. I Believe, bleev. Never Give Up.

[This certainly is a sight for sore eyes. The “I Believe” comedy routine has been RESURRECTED!]

I believe in the eventual triumph of love, light and goodness!

[…and goody gumdrops!]

I believe...in the accuracy of the 2004 state and national exit polls over the "official results" of the unrecountable black boxes and the Karl Rove exit polls.

[I believe that exit polls results should determine the winners rather than just mere actual voting results.]

I believe that if there is anything worth fighting for in this time in which we live, it is GETTING OUR DEMOCRACY BACK. There are a hundred ways to do it, or more, and Election Reform is one of the most important.

[I believe we need to make exit polls the OFFICIAL results for the elections and eliminate actual voting altogether.]

I believe! I do! I do! I do!

[Close your eyes tight, Dorothy, lean back, click your heels together, and repeat after me three times: “There’s no place like home! There’s no place like home! There’s no place like home!”]

I believe that humans can transcend the artificial limits set by fear. I believe, I believe, I believe!

[I believe that humans can enter a space/time continuum wormhole and rematerialize in another galaxy. I believe, I believe, I believe!]

I believe truth will triumph.

[I believe truth will triumph and Andy Stephenson will be indicted for fraud.]

I believe flying monkeys really hate it when they see us believin' So, guess what, monkeys? I BELIEVE! Why does it scare them so much, I wonder, that we believe? Why are the sore winners so afraid?

[I believe you’ve been spanking your flying monkey so much that you actually believe you are making folks scared of you.]

We believe that the Constitution was put in place for a reason. We believe that every citizen's right to vote is sacred and must be protected. We believe that no person is above the law, no matter how charismatic (or not) they may appear. We believe that treason is treason, no matter what political party is in power. We believe that we have been called to protect the freedoms that we have come to enjoy. We will not fail in this noble calling. We will Never Give Up. I Believe

[We few, we happy few, we band of brothers;
For he to-day that sheds his blood with me
Shall be my brother; be he ne'er so vile,
This day shall gentle his condition;
And gentlemen in England now-a-bed
Shall think themselves accurs'd they were not here,
And hold their manhoods cheap whiles any speaks
That fought with us upon Saint Crispin's day.]

I Believe. I still believe all of it.

[Any BS you feed me---I still believe all of it.]

I believe too. You are right bleever, they underestimated us.
A dangerous error on their part.
I believe the time of reckoning is at hand.
The truth will always find it's way out of the darkness and into the light.
Never Giving Up.

[The EVIL Republicans fatal error---underestimating DUmmie Denese. The time of (play a foreboding tune) RECKONING is at hand!]

I believe KERRYS BACK !

[I believe John Kerry will be inaugurated on Jan. 20. YEEEEHAW!]

I believe that the perfect storm might be brewing, and Monday could be a very interesting day!

[A Perfect Rovian Storm. NEWSFLASH! Monday already came and went and John Kerry was MIA…as usual.]

Everything in Life is timing. He's an "old" enough Soul to patiently await the right time...NOW.

[Maybe I underestimated Kerry. Is he going to wait to be inaugurated on Jan. 21?]

There be hope, Mates, I Believe we are not so all alone. And I do Believe this thread has picked me up!

[When nothing else is working for you, perhaps an utterly meaningless DUmmie thread will do the trick.]

I believe in the strength , will and ability of this community to succeed in whatever we take on together.

[Well, DUmmie sfexpat2000, you successfully conned the gullible DUmmies to the tune of $50,000 for Scamdy and I BEEEELEEEEVE you could do it again.]

I believe that it's actually getting easier to believe that justice for the theft of the 2004 election will surely come. At first, it was a matter of faith for many of us. Faith generated action and conversation. Action and conversation, through persistance, generated more action and conversation. And to an anti-democratic cabal that seeks to control the system, and thwart anything resembling checks and balances (the root of the genius of our founders), action and conversation are poison. They count on us shutting up, moving on, and not making waves.

[And faith generated action and conversation. Then it generated more action and conversation followed by meaningless blah-blah which generated persistent fatigue followed by deep sleep. When I wake up I BEEELEEEVE John Kerry will be President!]

The "I Believe" archives. Five earlier threads, starting with Doohickie's first one, started just a few days after the stolen election. These five "I Believe" threads had a total of 1985 responses. And with the latest thread, we've passed the 2000 mark. It makes me very proud to be a part of this, and to know you all.

[It makes me VERY PROUD, DUmmie bleever, to know you are continuing these utterly meaningless “I Believe” threads. Let’s get together again at your “I Believe XXVI” thread in January 2009.]

Of course, I BELIEVE. I believe in righteousness and justice. Sooner or later, these will catch up to the shrub. I am Doohickie, and I approve this message.

[I am Doohickie, making a cameo appearance, and I approve the unclear message of this latest completely meaningless “I Believe” thread which I started last year.]


Blogger Icarus said...

Hey, PJ -- you HAVE to do the next DummieFunnies on Kerry's grades at Yale. THey must be blathering about that! I'm dying to hear it!

4:13 PM  
Blogger Mudi said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

4:18 AM  
Blogger Mudi said...

I couldn't find any mention of Kerry's grades in a quick scan of the forums... but I very much enjoyed this THREAD. Lots of good MIHOP, LIHOP, and IHOP in there. :D

4:20 AM  

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