Friday, August 23, 2013

Get DUmmie DainBramaged FIRED For Stealing Cable Box Remote At Work

Ok, mea culpa. I've been MIA with the DUFUs for far too long. My only excuse is that I got overwhelmed with incredible coupon deals the past 3 weeks. However, I am hoping to make up for it by presenting you all with a chance to don your Sherlock Holmes hats and do some detective work in discovering either who DUmmie DainBramaged is or where he/she/it works. Why? Because DUmmie DainBramaged has confessed to sabotaging his/her/its workplace by stealing their cable box and then lying to the management about it as you can see in this confessional THREAD, "I blocked FAUX on the TV at work today." Just by quickly glancing at this thread, I have already found out what type of work DUmmie DainBramaged does. And not only are there other clues in this thread, keep in mind that DUmmie DainBramaged has an extensive body of work in DUmmieland so more clues can be found there. And if DUmmie DainBramaged is fired, good luck trying to find another job in the Obama economy. So let us now examine the clues that DUmmie DainBramaged stupidly left us in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, wondering if anybody out there has noticed Fox News no longer on the tube at work, is in the [brackets]:

I blocked FAUX on the TV at work today

[And then STUPIDLY left clues of the crime posted for all to see in DUmmieland.]

felt good.

[How will it feel after you're FIRED, DUmmie DainBramaged?]

I replaced the remote that accesses the cable box channel sub- menus with a $5 basic remote and stashed the cable box remote in the rafters.

[Workplace SABOTAGE. Definitely a firing offense.]

F*ck the Pukes.

[And now to the rest of the DUmmies as well as more crime clues helpfully provided by DUmmie DainBramaged...]

1. That was an excellent move, my dear DainBramaged!

[An excellent move to the front of the unemployment line!]

Better would be to use the parent blocker and permanently block it.

[Stand by for DUmmie DainBramaged to boastfully drop another clue...]

I did then swapped the remote

[Hmmm... So now if the bossed finds the cable box remote stashed away in the rafters, all he has to do is check the parent blocker for confirmation of the crime.]

First moron that calls the cable co. to complain Wins "Dumbass of the Month"

[Shouldn't that award be given to DUmmie DainBramaged for STUPIDLY posting on the Web about the crime and then leaving us with helpful clues to track him/her/it down?]

there is a place in heaven for you.

[Somebody is already holding a place for DUmmie DainBramaged on the unemployment line.]

i've finally gotten the nerve to complain in public places and have been given the remote a couple times. the people who give it to me act as if they can't imagine why it matters.

[They also think you are an IDIOT but not as stupid as DUmmie DainBramaged who is on the way to a state of unemployment.]

That's a mighty big responsibility you've taken on there, deciding what others may or may not watch. You must be really important.

[Do I detect a note of sarcasm here?]

I understand the schadenfreude, but we should strive to be better than that.

[Would you settle for freudenschade?]

I also noted that she didn't just change the channel, she altered passwords and hid or stole the remote. Unless she promptly remedies her actions, the OP's conduct is no longer a simple prank. I doubt either she or anyone else would find it funny if her employer, quite justifiably, decided to punish her, or even terminate her employment. There is no "I hate Fox" exemption to at will employment.

[Actually all DUFUers would find it hilarious if SHE were fired. BTW, thanks for narrowing the gender of the perp down. Yet another helpful clue.]

Changing the channel is one thing, but blocking it and hiding the remote is destruction of property. If one of my employees did that, they'd be fired immediately.

[A thousand Sherlock Holmes out there will ensure the firing of DUmmie DainBramaged. Oh, and for a lot more helpful clues as to her ID or place of work, check out her JOURNAL. We also owe DUmmie Flatulo a debt for shaking up DUmmieDainBramaged enough to drop more clues. Here is Flatulo rattling the cage...]

The OP could close their eyes. Or walk way. Or quit. If I were the owner of the company and the OP was vandalizing my property to pusOh, so the TV was your private property, being used on your private property? No. What you did was no different than me coming into your home and blocking HGTV. The level and volume of your insults in lieu of a reasoned defense of your actions speaks volumes about your own principles. But you already know that. DainBramaged, I've read and enjoyed plenty of your posts here, and I think you're an OK guy/gal with the (usually) good intentions, but I'll always, always, always stand up and defend people's right to watch what they want on their TV and on their property. Simply changing the channel would have solved your problem. What you did was wrong, and insulting people who are pointing it out just shows how desperate you are to defend your own actions. You had no right to apply such censorship in the workplace.h an agenda, I would fire him or her. Just f*cking stop with the lectures go bother someone who gives a shit

[The cage of DUmmie DainBramaged has been rattled and she is well on her way to dropping an inadvertent clue. Hee! Hee!]

Do let us know the response.

[Do give us a clue, DUmmie DainBramaged.]

I'll find out today when I go in. NO BODY under 60 watches that shit, and they turn it WAY up when they put F*CKED on so we'll see if it is quiet.

[Hmmm... It sounds like DUmmie DainBramaged just gave us a clue that she works somewhere with a lot of employees. But wait, DUmmie DainBramaged corrects an earlier clue given to us by another DUmmie and confirms he is a guy and even provides us the age...]

nce in a 'Blue Moon' ya gotta stand up for truth and PS I'm still a guy, 62 years on the plumbing hasn't changed LOLOL

[LOLOL!!! DUmmie DainBramaged just narrowed his age down to 62. Another great clue! Give us another, DUmmie DainBramaged, and live up to your name.]

i FORGOT TO MENTION, I made the 'landing' channel MSNBC (nbc News or whatever) so when the box is turned on they get Morning Schmoe

[Thank you for that, DUmmie DainBramaged. So if your new "landing" channel is now MSNBC switched from FOX, then it is a good chance you know who the saboteur is.]

while I agree with changing the channel, I feel it's kinda childish hiding the remote and buying a new one..(wahhh I don't like the channel so ill hide the remote so no one can turn it back on!) you wont get in trouble or anything for stealing the original remote and hiding it?

[Naw! DUmmie DainBramaged won't get in trouble...unless he STUPIDLY provides us with more MAJOR CLUES which he idiotically does...]

F*ck no I told them the original one broke from being dropped by the guerrillas who work here being SYSADMIN I can pretty much tell them anything....

[WOW! So now we know that DUmmie DainBramaged is a 62 year old guy (probably a hippie throwback) who is also a SYSADMIN. Oh, and thanx for telling us that you flat out LIED to the management. That will make the case for your FIRING when you are ultimately discovered. Of course, DUmmie DainBramaged would be QUICKLY discovered if FOX News posted this DUFU edition and put out the word asking as to which workplace is now getting MSNBC instead of FOX. Then merely place a laser beam upon the forehead of a 62 year old male SYSADMIN and you have your culprit about to be FIRED. Even if FOX News does not perform this service the Sherlock Holmes army is now investigating the many other DUmmie DainBramaged posts for clues. For example, has he ever mentioned working at a mental hospital?] 

Thursday, August 22, 2013

"Chelsea Manning": DUmmies get behind the whistle-blower

Bush, Cheney, and Rummy: war criminals, and they remain free. Bradley Manning: whistle-blower, and he gets sentenced to 35 years in prison. Where is the justice? Justice for Treyson! This sums up the DUmmies' reaction to the sentencing of Nothing-Is-Private Manning.

But that was yesterday. Today comes news that Bradley--who at one time had called himself "Brianna"--now wants to be known as "Chelsea" and live as a woman. Bradley is no longer manning.

Multiple threads the last couple of days, too many to link to them all. We'll start with this THREAD, "Bradley Manning sentanced to 35 years."

But before we get to the DUmmies, I think we should hear from Chelsea herself. Click the music link and sing along!


Tune: "Chelsea Morning"

Woke up, and I was Chelsea Manning
And the first thing that I said
Was I wanted to be female
And wear wigs upon my head
If you think you'd like to buy me bras
And wrap them up, I take A-cup

Oh, don't you guess
I'll put on a dress
And I'll wear a bunch of make-up

Woke up, and I was Chelsea Manning
And the first thing that I saw
Was a thirty-five-year sentence
And no rainbow on the wall
All those big strong men to welcome me
Criminals can be so hardened

O, won't you please
I'm on my knees

Give this little girl a pardon

Now the cell door opens on my new friends for the day
And the hall is filled, they form a line
And two'd be fine
But look, there's nine
Whistles to blow today

Woke up, and I was Chelsea Manning
And the first thing that I know
That I now realize I'm lesbian
I should go where women go

And I don't like this place that I'm in
So stick me with some hormones

Oh, let me stay
Where I'll be okay
And we'll talk in diff'rent pronouns

When the cell door closes
And the rainbows all recede
I will tell you secrets
Hear me speak
The stuff you seek

Is what I'll leak
The only thing I need
Pretty badly, I'm not

Bradley, now I'm Chelsea Manning

So let us now go to DUmmiLeaks, in Cherry Lip Gloss Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, the wag tailoring the doggerel, Charles Henrickson, is in the [brackets]:

Bradley Manning sentanced to 35 years - just breaking. Dishonorable discharge, forfeits pay and benefits, rank reduced. Eligible for parole in 10, time served will be counted.

[You DUmmies should be happy he got off so easy.]

Can he earn time off for good behavior?

[Yes, he will have to learn to keep his legs together and sit gracefully.]

Manning sentenced to 35 years, this should be a national day of mourning

[Woke up, it was a Chelsea mourning. . . .]

Can President Obama issue him a pardon at the end of his term?

[Why not NOW? Justice for Treyson NOW! If Obama had a son--or daughter--it would look like Chelsea.]

I hope he can appeal.

[Oh, I'm sure he will appeal.]

Bradley Manning sentenced to 35 years. War criminals? Zero.

[It's a mixed-up, muddled-up, shook-up world.]

President Obama should pardon him. but he wont.


President Obama should give him Obama's undeserved Peace Prize.

[Oooh! Burn!]

Why I think Bradley Manning should do time.


Manning tossed in a hole, Bushco to be immune to war crimes... What a proud time to be a democrat!

[Thank your Obamassiah--who, btw, has not closed Gitmo, and continues to use drones, and spies on Americans, and how come you guys are not protesting HIM?]

I feel sad for Manning. I know what he did was wrong and dangerous . . . but I think he was doing what he thought was right for his own reasons.

[Well, I guess that makes it alright then.]

Poll: Manning traitorous, deserves prison, not a hero


The lead attorney for Army Private first class Bradley Manning told the media on Wednesday that he’ll begin asking US President Barack Obama to pardon his client as early as next week.

[Manning will be free within 24 business hours. Bank it. The pardon is sealed in a mason jar on Eric Holder's desk.]

i think there is a better chance of the planet Jupiter making me its Facebook friend, than him getting the pardon from Obama

[Bradley Manning, benburch would like to be friends with Uranus.]

Bradley Manning says he plans to live as a woman and begin hormone therapy: "I Am Chelsea Manning"

[Interesting timing for this news, a day after the sentencing. This is either an invitation to the boys in the prison or an attempt to get transferred to a women's facility.]

Manning says is female, wants to live as a woman

[Notice the missing pronoun. Even this DUmmie is confused.]

Chelsea Manning or Bradley Manning?

[Free 'em both!]

It's a bit much to digest.

[It's a bit much to sw-- no, let's try that again. . . .]

It's a bit much to digest.

[Yeah, I was just getting used to "Brianna." Where did this "Chelsea" come from?]

She identifies as a woman. Get it? She wants to be called Chelsea. Get it?

[Whatever Chelsea wants, Chelsea gets!]

Bradley Manning: I want to live as a woman

[I want to live as a millionaire, Brad, but that ain't happenin'. If wishes were fishes, we'd be swimmin' in the sea.]

Tuesday, August 20, 2013

Know-it-all Nadin pundificates: "Yup...the schism on DU is deepening"

Time to catch up with our old friend, Know-it-all Nadin Brzezinski (seen above, in action as interpid girl reporter Nadin Abbott, sniffing out yet another story). In today's episode, Nadin pundificates on the state of DUmmieland, here in this THREAD, "Yup...the schism on DU is deepening."

This is an occasion, of course--as in all Nadin threads--for the all-knowing, condescending one to make herself look superior and sagacious. And then, when there's some blowback--or even anticipating it--she takes on the martyr persona, suffering nobly under the bullies. It's like Nadin has a permanent "Kick me!" sign taped to her back.

So let us now check in on the Doyenne of DUmmieland, in Bolshevik Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson--btw, I like what Nadin is doing with her hair--is in the [brackets]:

Yup...the schism on DU is deepening

[Nadin starts out her thread with a "Yup." Uh, Nadin, no one asked you anything.]

And you know what? I actually don't mind it, one bit.

[Well, if you're OK with it, Nadin, then I guess it's alright.]

The fissures were there all along.

["Schism." "Fissures." Nads has been hittin' the ol' thesaurus again.]

And the reality is that uggly commies...err lib'ruls, will be blamed for 2014 and 2016.

[Nostradummie Nadin predicts FAILURE for the Dems in 2014 and 2016. Here's hoping Nads is RIGHT about something for a change!]

The problem is...that threat is not working anymore.
[The problem is...we can't figure out what you just said, Nadin.]
The elites used to understand that you have to give something to the people from time to time...they are really are not.

[Huh? What?]

It's not because Democratic Party elites hate lib'ruls (some do).

[Earth to Nadin: The Democrat Party elites ARE lib'ruls, you DUmmie!]

it's time for the people, the base, to smell the coffee and realize the party of business does not want the lumpen proletariat anymore.

[As long as we don't have to smell the lumpen.]

Behind closed doors both parties are now lumped together.

[I sense a theme.]

Then we have the current NSA kerfunkle. . . .

[And a lumpy kerfunkle it is.]

Oh I expect acid responses, it goes with it. I am the enemy of the party, for I am an uggly and dangerous lib'rul.

[It's all about you, Nadin. Oh, and here come them acid responses . . .]



as a party wonk, I speak with a lot of people furthering our goals. I speak with Occupy. I speak with MoveOn, which is an official wing of the party. Sometimes I speak with Daily Kos posters, although in an unofficial capacity. Know who I don't speak to? Anyone from DU. Do the math. There's 5000 posters tops who espouse the ideas encapsulated by DU, maybe 300 rabid posters here.

[DUmmie Capn Sunshine, a "party wonk," says that most DUmmies overestimate their own importance and are out there on the fringe. Kinda like . . . Nadin.]

a local Democratic committee member . . . I haven't found one person who admits to posting on DU. Most claim not to have heard of it. . . . And there's very little talk about Snowden, the NSA, or anything else that brings out the rabid around DU.

[DUmmieland is a rabid hole, and Nadin is wearing the bunny costume.]

. . . anonymous DUers who are disconnected from reality.

[Nadin is NOT anonymous!]

Nonsense. It's not a 'schism' when it's a handful of people. The majority on DU lean left to FDR left to Seriously Left . . .

[. . . to Looney Left. . . .]

A few noisy capitalist status quo supporters does not a 'schism' make.

[You DARE to disagree with Know-it-all Nadin?? Welcome to the iggy list, DUmmie leftstreet!]

But but.... It's so much fun to promote infighting....And read thread after thread about "some people". . . .We should just have a forun dedicated to critiquing "some DUers" so other DUers can feel superior. Put a fence around it and let them fling poo all day.

[The Superior Poo-Flingers Forum. Nadin would be the Queen of Fling.]

You know who is fanning these flames, heh?

[Flinging, fanning, flaming--Our Gal Nads can do it all.]

It's my job to know this crap. . . .

[Yes, Nadin, we know you know this crap. We know you know ALL things. It's your job. You're a journalist, a historian. Heck, you're kind of like our lumpenombudsman-person, watching out for the little guy. How can we ever thank you?]

Oh and before you accuse me of not getting the system... politics is actually what I follow for a living, with fires.

[With fires. For her unpaid "living," girl reporter Nadin Abbott "covers" wildfires east of San Diego, for a little free online "magazine." That and politics.]

I spend a lot of time talking to voters. In the real world and labor's my job or something.

[Or something.]

You have a job on a small giveaway paper with a small audience that covers one small area of the country, you don't have any idea what passes for voters moods outside of that very small demographic, if even then.

[WHOA! DUmmie sufrommich CALLS OUT the Girl Reporter!]

So how much politics exactly do you cover? Don't bother answering, this reporter, who lives and covers politics in the 8th largest market, and a large county with multiple putting your ass on ignore.

[HO HO! Nadin strikes back! The dreaded iggy list!]

What a load.

[It's almost a lumpen.]

Kudos for the acid response. Expected.

My pleasure and thanks for the vapid post! Also expected. Your turn.

Good bye.

and another one down. and another down.

[There is no schism on Nadin's iggy list. Practically everybody's on it!]

What's your solution? Strike? Riot? Create a new party? How do the lumpen proletariat defeat the party elite?

[C'mon, Nadin! Enlighten us! You know all. You've studied history. You cover fires. What should we do? . . . Hello? Nadin? Are you there? Yoo-hooo. . . .]

What a perfect load of sh*t this is.

[A perfect lumpen.]

This is a revolting op that seeks only to divide, and the "acid responses" have little to do with your political persuasion. I expect this from you- along with all the made up stuff you post. Ugh. Oh and it's also an incoherent, self-congratulatory mess.

[DUmmie cali nails it. This is the kind of poo Nadin flings!]

Also kind of delusional.

[OK, forgot "delusional."]

Of course you don't mind it. You frickin' revel in it. Your post is baloney. You traffic in broad, almost invariably error ridden generalizations. You don't post links to back up your spurious claims. I think of you as DU's very own Madame Malaprop.

[DUmmie cali, for this outstanding, multi-part takedown of Know-it-all Nadin, Poo-Flinger Extraordinaire, I hereby award you today's Kewpie Doll! You have mental clarity about her, if nothing else.]

[Then someone re-posts this post by Head DUmmie Skinner, when he recently responded to a complaint by Nadin . . .]

I'm going to be blunt. The problem here isn't the jury system. The problem is you. Sometimes it takes a while, but eventually most DUers figure out how to get along with other DUers. My suggestion is that you try to do it too.

[From Skinner himself!]

I wonder if she put Skinner on ignore after that reply?

[Hee! Hee!]

She actually put herself on ignore once!

[Nadin Brzezinski: A Schism of One!]

Wow Nadin you certainly got people talking with this thread.

I hope it is for the better, but I think we crossed the Rubicon from what I am hearing on the ground.

[Nadin thinks we have crossed the Rubik's Cube. The dime has been cast. We have reached the typing point. This is what she is hearing on the ground, because she is so close to it.]

I hope NOT to see it, but I expect it. There are multiple reasons for that, fall of empire, climate change... multiple reasons. . . . I think it will be in some ways rural versus urban. . . . If we have an open civil war, it will affect large regions of the country. . . . It is far more, in my view a split between rural areas, and urban areas... the cultures are radically different. Perhaps I am far more aware than most since some of my work involves covering both.

[Listen to her, people! Listen to her! Nadin knows whereof she speaks! She is a reporter. She has her ear--probably both ears--to the ground. She is out on the streets. She is out covering wildfires. She has the good rig with her. If we have an open civil war, it WILL affect large regions of the country!]


[And so we come full circle.]

Sunday, August 18, 2013

Yes We Scan: The Obama Legacy?

Now that President Obama is well into his Lame Duck Dynasty, the question arises: What will be the Obama Legacy? A vibrant economy? Universal health care for all? World peace? Racial healing? Lower ocean levels?  It's so hard to pick just one.

The increasingly disenchanted DUmmies, though, might pick "None of the above." That's the gist of this THREAD by DUmmie Kablooie, "Wow. With all these NSA revelations rolling in Obama's legacy may not be Obamacare."

So let us now watch the DUmmies discuss the Obama Legacy, in Bolshevik Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson--trying to decide which is worse, the Obama Legacy or the DUmmie Lunacy--is in the [Barackets]:

Wow. With all these NSA revelations rolling in Obama's legacy may not be Obamacare.

[The crowd is chanting: "NSA! NSA!"]

He may go down in history as the Orwellian Big Brother president who destroyed personal privacy. . . .


A serious betrayal of the public trust and Constitutional law could overshadow anything else he accomplishes.

[Oh, pshaw and piffle! He has so MANY accomplishments to his credit already, how could this spying business overshadow a list like this:

Arab Spring
Recovery Summers 1-5
The 29.5-Hour Work Week
Victory at Benghazi
Advancing sodomite marriage
Creating millions of jobs, overseas
Creating jobs for Joe Biden, Eric Holder, and Sandra Fluke
Impressive increases in gas prices, insurance premiums, the national debt . . .

And the list goes on and on.]

The right hasn't caught on yet that this is becoming Obama's achilles heel but if they do, look out.

[Oh, we've caught on, alright. It's just that Obama has more Achilles' heels than Carter has pills.]

You're right, Kablooie. This story has the legs of a millipede.

[A thousand legs of legacy, for a thousand Achilles' heels.]

Obama is in danger of having this as his legacy, instead of Obamacare.

[If the best you can come up with for a legacy is Obamacare,, you may WANT something else to overshadow it.]

President Obama's popularity continues to decline. . . .

we would be left with another pile of crap to chew on.

[Bon appetit!]

He has a narrowing window to claim these were left over programs from Bush.

[Who says? The "Bush's fault" window is ALWAYS open.]

How will anyone know? If the Orwellian state gets to the point of a Memory Hole that's the end of history, Obama will have the legacy he chooses.

[Great idea! Control the people's memories, create your own legacy!]

Reality said to say hi and wonders why you never come over anymore.

[Reality is overrated.]

so many of our fellow DUers are getting so flexible with all of these pretzel stances they've been practicing. Yoga masters they are. Illogical, but bendy.

[They have a bendy modus vivendi.]

Holy crap!

[Obamassiah is full of it.]

F*** FACTS!!

[The DUmmie motto.]

I think that's why we're seeing the President doing stupid things. . . .

[President Obama: Acting stupidly for over four-and-a-half years.]

This place has almost lost its collective mind.


It's funny because Obamacare was going to be his legacy before this, and that was supposed to be a bad thing.

[What's funny is that there are a few of you people who think Obamacare is NOT a bad thing.]

Oh bullsh*t. God, I am so sick of the pantry-wringing pearl-clutching whiners.

[Yeah, you whiners! Quit getting your pantries in a bunch!]

I do not wring my pantry. All the cans would fall on the floor.

[Yes, we cans.]

His legacy will be insurance mandates and corporatist corruption, and the largest and most terrifying expansion of post-constitutional power in American history.

[And YOUR legacy, DUmmie Demo_Chris, is the Kewpie Doll you just won. Congratulations!]

I would vote to impeach a republican for this.

[But since Obama is a Democrat, I give him a free pass.]

Oh please. . . . Only in this bubble of group-reinforced doom over the ever-overreaching "surveillance state" is this a looming disaster for the President. In the real world, people are trying to get/hold onto healthcare to save theirs or their loved ones' lives. People are trying to afford college. . . .

[IOW, in the real world, it's Obama's destruction of everyone's economy that is the looming disaster.]

What was that someone said above about this place losing its collective mind?

[Although DUmmieland will NEVER lose its COLLECTIVIST mind.]

His Legacy? Cripes, it was damaged goods before this sh*t hit the fan. . . . Too late to "save" his legacy. It is shot all to hell. A footnote in history. A James Buchanon. A Millard Fillmore. Possibly a Richard Nixon.

[Even before this sh*t hit the fan, DUmmie mick063 was not a fan.]

LBJ had The Great Society. He also lied us into the Vietnam War. . . .

[The Great Society and Vietnam: Two reasons I had always, up until this point, ranked LBJ as The Worst President Ever. But now BO has pretty well surpassed him.]

Some people are f*** sticks.

[Not sure if that refers to a) the people here who are criticizing Obama's legacy, b) the people here defending it, or c) all DUmmies, on either side of the question. I vote for "c." Bottom line: The DUmmies would still vote for this guy if he was running against any Rethuglican, but the swooning bloom is definitely off the Obamassiah rose.}

Friday, August 16, 2013

Forever 29.5: It's Obamacare, DUmmies--Own It!

The DUmmies continue to reel from the real effects of Obamacare, as it begins to unfold. The latest news is that the national clothing-store chain Forever 21 is moving many of their employees from full-time to part-time status, so the company doesn't have to suffer the punitive costs of Obamacare. Hey, DUmmies, OWN IT! This is what you voted for. Own it.


But no, instead of owning it, the DUmmies are frowning it. They're mad at Forever 21 for trying to keep their business in business. Why, in fact, this calls for a BOYCOTT!! The DUmmies are going to leap into action and bring Forever 21 TO THEIR KNEES! That'll show 'em! DUAC! DUAC!

We witness the DUmmie call to action here in this THREAD, "Forever 21 letter to all full time/non-management employees."

So let us now see the DUmmies fume, stir, and organize for action, in Bolshevik Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, marveling at the wondrous miracle that is the Obama Economy--what is this now, Recovery Summer 5.0?--is in the [Barackets]:

Forever 21 letter to all full time/non-management employees

[Here follows the text of said letter, which we now excerpt . . .]

Company-wide, Forever 21 recently audited its staffing levels, staffing needs and payroll in conjunction with reviewing its overall operating budget.

[I didn't know you could get overalls at Forever 21. But back to the letter . . .]

As a result, we are reducing a number of full-time non-management positions. This includes full-time Stock Associates, Sales Associates, Store Maintenance Associates, Accessory Specialists and Cashiers.

[Translation: stockers, salesgirls, janitors, scrunchie-crunchers, and checkout girls.]

Based on our audit, your position will be reclassified as Part-Time. . . . As a Part-Time employee your regular schedule will not exceed 29.5 hours per week.

[Forever 29.5. Just under the magic 30-hour mark, at which point--under Obamacare--employers are forced to give you health care. There you have it, ladies! This is what you got when you voted for your dreamboat Obama: Part-time work, just as long as no one can threaten your precious Sacrament of Abortion.]

[The DUmmies react . . .]

Time for call and boycott this retailer.


No, it's time for a change in laws.

[But, but, this is YOUR law! This is the Democrats' law! The Afforable Care Act! AFFTAX!]

Everyone gets benefits, part-time and full-time.

[And nobody has to pay for them! Except for those evil rich corporations, of course. Oh, wouldn't it be loverly?]

In the meantime, until there are no Republicans in Congress that is, a boycott is about all we can do.

[But wait, it wasn't the REPUBLICANS in Congress that gave us Obamacare! It was you DEMOCRATS!]


[Additional cost in dollars that Forever 21 would otherwise incur.]

better yet, lets not have healthcare tied to employment at all

[Or, as is happening with Obamacare, let's not have employees tied to employment at all.]

We gave them a 1 year waiver remember?

[I would rather give them a Forever-Plus-21-year waiver.]

So under ACA, the incentive exists to cut as many workers as you can to below the statutory level for ACA employer mandate - 30 hours.

[You're just now figuring this out, Einstein?]

What we have done with this law is clearly inflicting a great deal of damage upon the most vulnerable.

[But, but, we had to pass it in order to find out what's in it!]

We had our shot and we got the ACA. But it's awesome because (D) passed it!

[I detect a note of sarcasm.]

it is better than nothing.

[I vote for nothing.]

it has its staunch defenders.

[It has its stench defenders.]

We all know ACA is a stepping stone to single payer.

[Ah, there it is! The goal: Full-blown socialized medicine. Create a crisis, cause people to lose their health insurance, drive up the premiums for the rest of us, and, voilà! Great Britain, here we come!]

Which is exactly how Canada got single-payer.

[Or Canada.]

I would boycott, but I don't shop there to begin with.

Forever 21 is an American chain of clothing retailers with branches in major cities in the Americas, Europe, Asia, and the Middle East that offers clothing and accessories for young women, men, and teen girls.

["Like, their stuff is so awesome!"]


Gee, if only someone could have foreseen this kind of thing. . . .

[NOBODY could have foreseen that Obamacare would do this!]

I know. This is mystifying that NOBODY saw this coming. Utterly out of left field.

[Utterly out of left wing.]

I read this and immediately texted my daughter that she cannot shop there any longer.

["omg! i'm like totally so not doing that!"]

I'm not sure how many more places I can boycott. I'm already boycotting Disney, Darden restaurants, regal cinemas, anything with angie harmon, fox, walmart to a certain extent and now forever 21.
Yet they claim to be a Christian company. Printing John 3:16 on all bags.
[OH NOES111 That's the WORST! They print a BIBLE reference--EWWW!!!--on the bottom of their bags! Bring them up on a hate crime! Have you EVER seen such a terrible thing???]
You will not have anywhere to shop, get gas, or live, but you can boycott.
[A small price to pay!]
They have a location directly across from the cable car turnaround in San Francisco ideally suited for direct action.
[A DUAC call to arms! San Francisco, here we come! It's a Million DUmmie March!]
I really liked the idea one poster on their Facebook page had. She wasn't going to boycott...she was going to stand outside their store nearest her on public property and hand out copies of their letter during their back-to-school sale.
[That will BRING THEM TO THEIR KNEES, the corporate b*st*rds.]
Well, why not write a letter to the architect of this edifice of President Obama, and thank him?
[Oh, thank you, our dear Lord Obamassiah! Thank you so much for destroying businesses, costing us jobs, and reducing us to part-time work, all so we can have affordable health insurance! We know you have our back. And we know you're just playing three-dimensional chess that we lowerlings can't possibly hope to understand, so that one day, one day, we can achieve the greater goal of UNIVERSAL FREE HEALTH CARE FOR ALL!!! WHEEEEE!!!!]
Going Shopping with my teenage granddaughter next Tuesday. We are going for our annual back to school shopping trip at Northpark Mall in Dallas. Avery likes to go to the big F21 store, but my dollars will not be spent there anymore.
["Sears?? You're expecting me to like get my clothes at SEARS?? Like, no way!"]
Nation wide boycott of Forever 21. Drive them out of business.
My boycott list is getting mighty long.
[My boycott list is becoming a bucket list.]
ACA is a clusterf***.
[Yes, but it's YOUR clusterf***. Own it.]
It is going to take a massive worker strike, at every level to wake this country up. . . .

Monday, August 12, 2013

Obama's critics are racist--unless they're DUmmies

If you oppose President Obama, if you don't like him, you MUST be a RACIST! You're criticizing him because, as a racist Rethuglican, you can't STAND having a black man in the White House! Unless of course you're a DUmmie. Then you have free rein to criticize Obama all you want, because, as a progressive, ipso facto, you CANNOT be a racist, and you're only criticizing him because he's let us down by not being progressive enough.

That's about the size of things in DUmmieland.  And the DUmmies are too dense to see their DUbble standard--as we'll see demonstrated today in this THREAD, "MO State Fair clown dresses up as Obama and gets run down by bull" and this THREAD, "UPDATE Shameful Missouri State Fair stunt smears Obama."

See, here's what happened. There was a rodeo at the Missouri State Fair over the weekend, and the rodeo clown came out with an Obama mask on and got chased around by a bull, as rodeo clowns are wont to do. The crowd laughed and cheered. Now I personally don't find that shtick all that funny, but some people do. De gustibus non est disputandum. I mean, who can explain how Carrot Top is able to make a living?

Well, anyhoo, you'd think that the Missouri State Fair just conducted a Ku Klux Klan rally, complete with lynching and cross burning. Never mind that there's a long history in America of people making fun of an unpopular president, even going so far as donning a mask of the fellow and doing antics that mock him. No, if you do anything to mock BARACK, you must be a racist!!

So let us now travel to DUmmieland, where eight years of caricaturing George W. Bush as "Chimpy McBushitler" and "Chimpus Khan" were perfectly OK, and where the hypocrisy on this day runs in Rodeo Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, who lives in Missouri but hasn't been to the fair, is in the [Barackets]:

MO State Fair clown dresses up as Obama and gets run down by bull

[Oh, I don't think Obama ever gets run down by bull. Indeed, he thrives on it!]

Most of Missouri is out of touch with reality.

[Said a member of the Reality-Based Community®.]

What racist crap!

[Yes! CLEARLY racist! There can be NO other explanation!]

I remember when I went to see Independence Day in the theater. When the aliens blew up the White House, the audience erupted in cheers. Clinton was President then.

[Well, uh . . . that's, uh . . . hmmm . . . that's because Clinton was The First Black President. I mean, before the current First Black President, of course.]

If I had been at a rodeo 10 years ago, and if they'd had a clown dressed up as Dubya, I would have been cheering for the bull.

[Send in the clowns--as long as they're wearing Bush masks. Diogenes, call off your search. We have found an honest DUmmie.]

Every last bit was meant to be racial.

[Now we've found a mind-reader.]

It wasn't racist when clowns did it for Bush . . . it's not racist now.


Which clowns? How did they make fun of his race?

[That's a clown question, bro.]

W.H. Harrison's campaign involved races between two teams rolling huge balls of cheese up a hill.


I think Obama has been disrespected at a level that many if not most of us has ever seen.

[I guess you had your eyes closed during the Nixon, Reagan, and Bush administrations.]

When will it end?

[January 20, 2017. I'm counting down the days.]

After all he has done. . . .

[That's the problem.]

I get mad at him over policy. . . .

[Then you must be a racist!]

Meanwhile, I live in the projects and have a lot of black and brown friends. That's how I like it.

[Dear DUmmie loyalsister, how can we neanderthals become as noble and enlightened as you? How can we ever measure up?]

I will never go to Missouri.


many blame Obama for problems created by Bush. And they defend their ugliness by comparing their rabidly racist comments to the legitimate criticism leveled at the lying, usurper Bush.


Obama is far from perfect and I am no fan of many of his policy approaches. . . .


How far will the continuing backlash go? Obama-hate is getting out of control.

[Just wait until Obamacare kicks in. You ain't seen nothin' yet.]

"Obama-hate is getting out of control." Including right here on DU. It's a disgrace.


Can you point some of that out? I haven't seen any hatred. there is some pointed criticism of unwarranted spying on Americans and proposals to cut SS, but I haven't seen any hatred.

[No, it CAN'T be hatred. We're progressives! Criticize Obama? It's not racism when WE do it.]

Look in here. . . .

[DUmmie michreject links to a thread where lots of DUmmies DUmp on Obama.]

That is one ugly thread. It looks hardly different from how we used to bash Bush.

[DUmmie Isoldeblue stumbles into some truth, thus coming perilously close to realizing that harsh criticism of a president--even mockery--can be motivated by something other than racism.]

Democratic Underground has turned into Obama Underground. my President - worship him or leave. People are now willing to accept murder, torture, domestic spying, proposed cuts to SS and Medicare, and post bizarre excuses and personal insults whenever someone questions Dear Leader.

[OK, DUmmie Isoldeblue made a free throw, but now DUmmie Doctor_J makes a slam dunk! And for this Brief Moment of Mental Clarity, we hereby award Doctor_J today's Kewpie Doll!  Congratulations!]

Disagreeing with policy positions is not hate.

[Nor is it racism. Thank you very much. I rest my case.]

They are proving that their hatred is race related and nothing else. Bigots will be bigots.

[And DUmmies will be DUmmies.]

F*** Missouri. F*** Obama haters. F*** anyone that has looked at the man cross-eyed.

[F*** all those haters! I HATE haters!!]

America has, because of the election of Barack Obama, let it's true color(s) be shown to the world, Been going on six years now and the man's skin color is still the major factor that a substantial body of the populace hate him for and judges him on. This country is racially, psychotically sick.

[Canada beckons. Heed the call.]

This has to be punished.

[To The Hague with the rodeo clown! Off with his mask! Off with his head!]

No amount of Raid can eradicate this scourge.

[Napalm! Napalm the whole state of Missouri!]

Cut those f***ers off the government tit!

[No lactose for the intolerant!]

Let them use their g*dd*mn farm subsidies to fund their f***ing fair!

[No fair!]

Well, to be fair. . . .

[To be fair or not to be fair, that is the question.]

Well, to be fair, if Bush would have jumped out in an orange jumpsuit 6 years ago, I would have cheered.

[So I guess it depends on whose clown is being gored.]

Conflating Bush hate with Obama hate is absolute bullsh*t. One is nothing more than unadulterated racism and the other is about political leadership and policy. It is absolutely naive to think that these people hate Obama because of his political policy.

[And you know this how?]

If Obama is a "Marxist-Socialist", then I'm the Prince of Wales.

[Greetings, Charles! How's the grandkid?]

Mocking the president is immoral.

[Unless his name is Chimpy McBushitler.]

Thursday, August 08, 2013

Pitt almost stumbles into some truth

The man you are looking at is William Rivers Pitt, the erstwhile Wunderkind of DUmmieland, "Pied Piper Pitt," now a 41-year-old has-been/never-was journopundactivist and self-important muckety-muck for an obscure prog blog called "truthout." Ever since Journalist Pitt swore to the high heavens that an indictment of Karl Rove was a done deal, sealed, and would be revealed within 24 business hours, Mr. Pitt has been the laughingstock of the internets.

OK, you can stop looking at the picture now and go fetch some eyebleach. BTW, that's a screenshot of the Pittster youtubing for dollars for his little truthout site.  In the VIDEO, Wee Willie says, "As you can see, I've got a perfect face for radio. I'm not very good at these video things." No argument, Will! Oh, and my favorite comment posted under the video? This one: "I'm donating a million bucks...expect it in 24 business hours." Hee! Hee!

But we digress. Today we witness William almost stumble into some truth, here in this THREAD, "You Are, In Fact, Being Watched." What truth does he almost stumble into? (Usually when we see Pitt stumble, he's staggering out of Bukowski's.) It's this business about surveillance and spying. He's worried about it. He doesn't like it. But lest you think Pitt is about to throw Obama under the bus--no, Will the Shill is ever the loyal party hack--his problem with it is if someday some EEE-vil Rethuglican should happen to get back into the White House and use this surveilling power for eee-vil. But Team Obama-Holder? Naah, they're only a force for good, so their spying on Americans is A-OK.

Pitt has snipped off the first part of his truthout screed for posting in DUmmieland, but we'll include a little of that here, too. So let us now take a peek in on Pitt and the progs poutraged about pervasive, invasive snooper-vision, in Bolshevik Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, who looks younger at 60 than Pitt does at 41, is in the [brackets]:

You Are, In Fact, Being Watched

At a bit past 6:00 p.m. Eastern Standard Time on Monday evening, the top stories on . . .

[CNN, in fact, is NOT being watched. But please continue, Pitt . . .]

. . . happened to include the following:

A-Rod Suspended, Can Keep Playing During Appeal
Sources: Al Qaeda Attack Plan Nearly Set
11 Jailbreaks Linked to Al Qaeda Plot?
50 Cent Enters Not Guilty Plea
Johnny Football's Offseason Craziness
Beauty Queen Arrested in Bomb Case
Spelling Error Costs Boy on "Jeopardy"
Neil Patrick Harris: "I Was Goosed"
You Should Swim With Sharks Here

[OK, so who goosed Neil Patrick Harris? C'mon, fess up. . . . Benburch, I'm looking at you!]

CNN, always calm and even-handed in matters of national security and terrorism, was kind enough to pad their reports of imminent national annihilation between enough syrupy goo to send the Fluffernutter people running for their therapists...but there it is all the same: The End Of The World, Again.

[Reminds me of someone who once predicted some little rally in Washington would be "The Day When Everything Finally Changed." Oh, wait, that was YOU, wasn't it, Pitt?]



So we're back to this crap again. Forgive my crashing cynicism, but I still have a huge hangover from the days when Donald Rumsfeld, Dick Cheney or even George Dubya himself would sling impending-doom terror alerts whenever a friend of the administration got indicted. . . .

[Like when Karl Rove got indicted?]

to make everyone look away...and here we are, right in the middle of a national conversation about whether we're all comfortable about the degree to which the government can track us like tagged whales.

[But, Will, if the OBAMA admin is tracking us like tagged whales, then what could be wrong? It's only if Rummy, Cheney, or Dubya were tracking us like tagged whales that there'd be a problem.]

getting the "mainstream" news media all geeked up over a terror alert is a dead-bang guaranteed way to make sure almost nobody hears about the Reuters report that also broke on Monday. To wit:

A secretive U.S. Drug Enforcement Administration unit is funneling information from intelligence intercepts, wiretaps, informants and a massive database of telephone records to authorities across the nation to help them launch criminal investigations of Americans.

[Ah, the truth comes out! Pitt wants to smoke his pot in peace! That's why he's worried.]

The cat has fled the bag, folks.

[The pot is in the bag, folks. But Pitt doesn't want you to see it.]

The American government is spying on you comprehensively, is using the information they gather on you to jail you if they choose to, and is doing so by laundering secretly-gathered information from one alphabet-soup agency through another and another. . . .

[Pitt's only worried about a pot bust. And if there is a misuse of power, it would be by one of those alphabet-soup agencies, and you certainly can't hold the President responsible for them! And, God knows, the Obama inner circle would never misuse power, would they?]

Sure, yeah, terrorists suck and drug dealers suck, and I'm sure this massive thing that has been unleashed upon the American system of law, and the American people, is totally benign and awesome and only doing good things and stuff. Let's pretend for a second that we even believe that. What about tomorrow? And next year? And four years from now?

[Then we might be talking about a RETHUGLICAN President, and that would be awful!!!]

The poet Yeats told us that the best lack all conviction, while the worst are full of passionate intensity.

[While the pundit Pitt is full of permanent prolixity.]

sure as sunrise, another Dick Cheney will someday hold a seat of power that allows him to direct the incredible weapon of our massive national surveillance state. . . .

[No! No! Not THAT! Not another Dick Cheney!!! Please say it won't happen, Will! Please reassure us!]

Who knows what "crime" will come to mean in the world our American Taliban Christians would like to create?

[It's those Christians again! Gaia save us from them! We have nothing to fear but American Taliban Christians! They'll probably make us all eat that nasty jello salad they serve at potlucks.]

[So Pitt ALMOST stumbles into some truth, but pulls away before saying anything bad about Obama and the Democrats. Will the Shill, I knew I could count on you. . . . Now let's hear from some other DUmmies . . .]

Excellent article. Good enough to elevate you to traitor journalist status among Third Way shills.

[What are you talking about? William never betrayed Obama and the Democrats in this article! His License to Shill is still valid.]

Obama To Leno: 'There Is No Spying On Americans'. . . . "We don't have a domestic spying program," Obama said on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno. "What we do have is some mechanisms that can track a phone number or an email address that is connected to a terrorist attack. ... That information is useful."

["Especially if we can keep track of American Taliban Christians like they were tagged whales."]

I understand that some have held back...not wanting to get scammed...or be considered a "CT, Teabagger, Paultard, Cato Libertarian, Scumbag Beck/Jones Advocate, denier of Terra Threats that are Real, Promoter of Torture for all (including Americans) who need to be "Taken Out" because American Security Pre-Empts All, EMO PROG, PACIFIST SCUM, SOCIALIST, COMMUNIST....Anti-American, RACIST/Obama Hater...ANTI GLBT..F***ING PACIFIST.....and the SHOUTING GET's LOUDER as the EPITHETS GROW!


Thank you Mr Pitt. Sadly, teh tools that really should listen to this, won't. They are completely and utterly vested into their It's Good If Team Blue Does It and Bad If Team Red Does It partisan crapola to know sh*t when their guy does it.

[But you are misreading Mr. Pitt. Didn't you see where he said he's only worried about surveillance if some alphabet-soup agency does it or if a Dick Cheney does it? If Team Obama does it--hey, no problem!]

WRP . . . You have championed our Democrats' cause since 2003, that I personally know of. You were spot on when you warned us about "W"'s agenda, and advised us all to be careful of what we say in meetings, on line, etc. I have read your excellent books. . . .

[So YOU'RE the one!]

Thank you, William Pitt.

Thank you, Mr. Pitt.

[Yes, yes, we ALL thank you, Mr. Pitt. Blah, blah, blah. That's what it always comes down to with Pitt posts, doesn't it?]

This is a really paranoid post with a deep cynicism. . . .

[It's by William Rivers Pitt. Say no more.]

Saturday, August 03, 2013

Obongo Unchanged: Even the DUmmies are down on Obama

You know things are going bad, when you're the most liberal, socialist, gayest president in American history, and yet even the progressive moonbats are down on you. Such is life right now for that guy who sometimes visits the White House--oh, what's his name again? Yeah, Barack Obongo, TPFKAO (The President Formerly Known As Obamassiah). But the bloom is off that rose. That train left the station long ago. In other words, Obie is well into his Lame Duck Dynasty.

See the DUmmies dump on their former hero, the guy they used to swoon over! It's all here in this THREAD by DUmmie Fire Walk with Me, "What remains unchanged or has worsened under Obama?"

So let us now travel to DUmmieland, the Unhappiest Place on Earth, in Bolshevik Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, whose dislike of Obama remains unchanged, since I never liked him in the first place, is in the [Barackets]:

What remains unchanged or has worsened under Obama?

[What remains unchanged? Obongo. What has worsened? America.]


[DUmmie Fire Walk With Me then goes on to list about 87 ways--or maybe it's 187--ways in which Obama has let down America. We'll list just a few . . .]

Citizens United = unlimited donations and campaign spending by corporations and rich businessmen. $2 billion spent upon this election cycle. Mussolini's definition of Fascism says it should be called corporatism, because it is a merger of state and corporate power.

[Hey, Fire Walk . . .}


A multiple hundred-fold disparity in income between CEOs and workers. . . .

[OK, DUmmie Fire Walk With Me, so let's say we pass a law requiring CEOs and workers all to receive the same pay. What will happen? Who will work hard enough to be a successful CEO, since you can't earn any more than an average worker? And what will happen to a business when it has to use all its profits--or more--to pay drastically higher wages to the workers? And what will happen to the costs to the consumer? DUmmie Fire Walk, are you sure you've thought all this through?]

Drones used for summary execution of foreigners and US citizens abroad. . . . Hundreds of children killed by these drones. . . . There are 64 drone bases being built within the US as you read this.

[Gain of Drones.]

The Bush-era FISA warrantless wireless wiretapping bill was just signed. . . .

[Barack McSame.]


All your information are belong to us.

[All your base are deserting you.]

7400+ Occupy members bloodied and arrested. . . .

[Say, whatever happened to Our Favorite OWSie, Trust Fund Ted Hall, the Tedward? If he's been bloodied, it's probably from falling down in a haze of smoke.]

The FBI have been raiding Occupy activists' apartments for "literature". . . .

[And all they found was OccuPoet Misty Rowan's "The Huff and Puff of My Frustration."]


The TSA, who have been testing out on buses.

[DUmmie Fire Walk throws the TSA under the bus.]

Obama, corporate shill

[And yet Will the Shill Pitt will still shill for him.]

The 1st Amendment is very nearly gone, and they're starting on the 4th (TSA, etc.).
[Hey, this is the guy you voted for! Twice! This is your Obamassiah.]

Obama has done nothing to wind down or eliminate GEORGE BUSH'S surveillance state.

[Bush and Obama are even taking pictures of children at Disneyland! Six-year-old children, Mandrake!]

What's not to love? Infinite.

[And then some.]

Where is the outrage?

[Fire Walk, I think you need to organize a Million DUmmie March on the White House! Impeach Obama now! No justice, no peace! Do it for Trayvon!]

[DUmmie Fire Walk With Me has just spent 3,123 words--literally! I counted them!--bashing Obama. Let's hear now from his fellow DUmmies . . .]

Wow, what a racist rant.

[Yes, anyone who criticizes The Black Man in the White House MUST be a racist! Good call, DUmmie Scuba.]

Dearest Scuba,

The great love and tenderness I have hitherto expressed for you is false, and I now feel that my indifference towards you increases proportionably every day, and the more I see you the more I appear ridiculous, and an object of contempt, and the more I feel disposed, inclined, and finally determined, to hate you. Believe me I never had the least inclination to offer you my hand and heart. Our last conversation has I assure you, left a wretched insipidity, which has be no means possessed me with the most exalted opinion of your character. Yes, madam, and you will much oblige me by avoiding me. And if ever we are united, I shall experience nothing but the fearful hatred of my parents, added to an everlasting displeasure of living with you. Yes, madam, I think sincerely. You need not put yourself to the smallest trouble or send or write me an answer —— Adieu. And believe that I am so averse to you that it is really impossible I should ever be, Madam, Your affectionate lover till death.

P.S. I'll miss the whoopee.

[Well, that's it, then. DUmmie Scuba and DUmmie Hissyspit are now sideways.]

Obama is a well spoken shill for Wall Street, military contractors and global corporate interests. People need to wake up, Obama's not Justin Bieber. . . .

[Oh yeah?]


President Obama is a President, not a dictator.

[Give him time.]

The critical thinking skills of DUers has definitely worsened!

[We're talking serious negative numbers.]

Emoprog puritopianism has gotten worse.

["Emoprog puritopianism"! You win the prize, DUmmie BeyondGeography! I can't top that!]