Friday, November 09, 2012

DUmmies invite us to Kamp Kumbaya!

"Let's all be pals now, shall we? And why don't you poor, misguided, voting-against-your-own-interests Republicans--why don't you all come over to OUR campfire here at Kamp Kumbaya and stay for a while and become enlightened like us?" That's the theme here in this day-after THREAD by DUmmie dawg, "A serious and sympathetic post for any lurking conservatives."

So it turns out the DUmmies like us, after all. Isn't that nice? Let's all get along. Just pull out our spines and lobotomize our brains, and we can all become one big happy family, living in a beautiful Prog Land of Big Teat, Big Nanny, Big Gaia, Big Barrenhood, Big Homo, and Big Weed. Ah, it's a brave new world!

So let us now all hold hands and skip on over to Kamp Kumbaya, in Campfire Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, battered and bruised but unbowed, is in the [brackets]:

A serious and sympathetic post for any lurking conservatives.

[Sniff, sniff . . . (wiping tears from eyes) . . . What's that you say, DUmmie dawg? You have a SYMPATHETIC post for us? Are you being serious? Why, yes, you are. You even say so:  "A serious and sympathetic post." Please, go on, DUmmie dawg. And don't mind me if I'm still blubbering a bit. It's been a rough go.]

Your pollsters and your pundits lied to you. They told you all the mainstream polls were "skewed". They told you it was going to be a Romney landslide.

[How about when YOUR pollsters told you that Gore was going to win? Oh, that's right. He did. But the rethuglicans stole it. Or how about when your pollsters told you Kerry was going to win? Oh, that's right. He did. But the rethuglicans stole it. So . . . hmmm . . . could it be possible . . . Philadelphia, Cleveland, Miami. . . . A few hundred thousand votes in a few key states. . . . NAAAAHHH!!!]

They lie to you about other things as well. They are lying to you about climate change.

[You see, the truth is this: Climate change (formerly, "global warming") can ONLY be man-made. More specifically, it can only be rich-white-man-made. Otherwise, there would NEVER be ANY variation in climate. The weather would be EXACTLY the same from year to year. . . . BTW, DUmmies, the 1930s called. They want you to come and visit the Dust Bowl.]

And they constantly lie to you about the income distribution of the tax cuts they propose.

[The truth is this: We should tax everyone making over $250,000 a year--we should tax those rich white b*st*rds at 100% of their income! No, change that, 110%! Put them in chains! Make them indentured servants! Get out the whips! That'll solve our debt crisis! Then we'll have all the money we need for roads and bridges and schools and teachers and free healthcare and free birth control and free smart phones and . . . and. . . . Hold on, wait a minute. . . . If we take all the money away from all the rich people, and then they have no money left, then how. . . . No, don't want to think about it!! Happy thoughts! Happy thoughts! Tax the rich! Tax the rich! Income equality! Free birth control! Step right up, getchyer free Obamaphone!]

The biggest lies they tell, though, are about us - the liberals. The truth is this:

[Oh, please tell us, DUmmie dawg! It's become obvious now, based on what you have said, that they must have been withholding the truth from us about you liberals! Please straighten us out!]

We believe in hard work. . . .

[BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Oh, that's a good one! I get it, you're starting out with a little humor! "Hard work"! Ha! You've turned the safety net into a hammock. Well, I suppose you do believe in SOME people doing hard work, so you can have some wealth to redistribute.]

and that it would be best if every able-bodied working age person had a job.

[It would be best, but we're not going to do anything about it. In fact, we're going to reward non-work, and provide incentives for people who want to stay on non-work. And we're going to punish the people who do work hard and who do achieve, loading lots of disincentives on them and taxing them out the wazoo. Sounds like a plan!]

We believe in families; strong families make a strong America.

[So let's provide programs to encourage and enable GENERATIONS of Americans to abandon marriage and have no father in the home, thus destroying the black family, destroying neighborhoods, driving out jobs, ruining schools, creating crime. . . . Let's have strong HOMOSEXUAL "families" (sic, sick). . . . Let's punish hard-working families, loading them down with so much taxes and government regulations that they have no time or money for anything else! Yes, strong families! Do go on, DUmmie dawg. . . .]

We believe in the freedom of religion. We would never support a candidate who was openly hostile to Christianity. . . .

[Oh, HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! This may be the FUnniest one of all! You see, we've been doing the DUmmie FUnnies here for over eight years. And if there's one leitmotif running through the annals of DUmmieland, it is the open, abject HATRED of Christianity and Christians! Every day, in every way, Christianity is ridiculed and reviled in the DUmp. Expressing traditional moral values is grounds for tombstoning. Now I suppose the CANDIDATES you support are a little more circumspect about being OPENLY hostile to Christianity. They want to get elected. But their policies--abortion, homosexual "marriage," the Obamacare HHS mandate--these are a BIG slap in the face to Christians. But, please continue, DUmmie dawg . . .]

We believe in success. Most of us do not favor punitive tax rates for the rich. . . .

["Most of us" = "Hardly any of us." The whole Obama "campaign," if you want to call it that, was BASED on punitive tax rates for the rich.]

We believe in free enterprise capitalism (well, most of us). . . . we favor regulated capitalism. . . .

[Well, we believe in sort of a Marxist free-enterprise capitalism. . . .]

Most of all, we believe in America. We love this country. . . .

[As long as we can smoke our weed and abort our babies and shack up with anything we please and live in a safe, nanny-state, cradle-to-grave, mediocre, gray little world. And make others put up with that and pay for that.]

We may not always be right about everything. . . .

[In fact, we not be right about anything. . . .]

but we are motivated by our love of the country and its people - ALL of its people.

[Except the Rethuglicans. And the Christians. And the rich white guys. They can go to hell. Or, better yet, they should be reprogrammed and bow to our will and become like us. Yes, come join us here at Kamp Kumbaya, dear friends! We'll fix you!]

We are your friends and your neighbors.

[I can see the commercial now . . . (Announcer's voice, with images of tattooed freaks playing on the screen) . . . We're the Democrats. We're your neighbors. You know, the weird ones down the block, the lesbians who take their out-of-wedlock children to the day-care center before going to the Wicca meeting. Yeah, that's us. We're your neighbors. We're the Democrats.]

I'm telling you the truth.

[THANK you, DUmmie dawg! Thank you for enlightening us! Thank you for your kind sympathy and concern! Thank you for inviting us over to Kamp Kumbaya! We really appreciate it. You like us! You really like us! No wonder your conciliatory post got HUNDREDS of recs and likes over there at the DUmp! Let's hear from a few of our new friends . . .]

dawg. this is an excellent post. i am a voice along with yours.... thank you.

[Oh, yes, THANK you, DUmmie dawg! Beautifully written!]

you deserve great credit for your compassion and veracity. . . .

[Speaking truth to poor deluded conservatives! How noble of you!]

He's your President, too. . . . I am confident that President Obama will work in the best interests of all Americans. . . .

[And there will be so many more of us now who will be laid off, unemployed, reduced hours, reduced benefits, dropped from employer health-care plans. . . . Why, just THINK of all that President Obama can do for us now!]

Perhaps The Best Post I've Seen on DU. . . .

The best post I've ever read on DU. . . .

[Certainly the most creative.]



Only one thing to add . . . It is to say this . . . We will no longer tolerate, excuse or let you get away with the disrespect you have shown OUR PRESIDENT AND HIS FAMILY for the past four years! You will be called out . . . Challenged . . . Confronted from this day FORWARD!!!

[Thrown into the Reeducation Center for reprogramming! To HELL with the First Amendment! No, enough of that! The future must not belong to those who slander the President of Prog Land! FORWARD!!!]



Beautifully, gently written. . . .

[It's a kinder, gentler DUmmieland now.]

We liberals are not hostile to religion. . . .

[As long as they keep quiet and don't try to live out their faith.]

The minute you pass a law based on your religious beliefs, chances are you have just trampled on my beliefs--or non-beliefs.

[OK, then. I hereby withdraw my support for laws against murder, robbery, rape, lying in court, etc., since those all coincide with my religious beliefs. And I will withdraw my support for laws against shooting abortion providers, since I don't want to impose my beliefs on others.]

This deserves to go viral.

[Like a Sandra Fluke STD!]

WE WON!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Congratulations! See you at the unemployment line!]

it's a great day here, there, and everywhere.

[The sun is shining. Homosexuals are getting married. Rich white people are being punished. Gaia is in her. . . well, Gaia is in everything, I guess. All is right in the New Left World.]

As much as I was (admittedly) tempted to post something to the effect of MOAR TEARS!!! I found myself feeling some genuine sympathy for them. . . .

[Jeepers, freepers, where'd you get those weepers? Jeepers, freepers, why'd you trust those lies?]

conservative lurkers, well, what can I say; it's the way the cookie crumbles. C'est la vie.

[It's the way the economy crumbles. C'est la falaise fiscale.]

I have no sympathy. . . . so f*** them. . . . I have no sympathy and i want no understanding. These cretins, these f***ing traitorous scumbags can all line up to sniff my @ss. I don't want to play nice. . . . F*** THEM. To all lurking conservatives? I hope your f***ing face rots off.

[Ah, the real DUmmieland returns! I thought I was in Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood there for a while. Situation Normal, All F-worded Up! DUmmie Scootaloo, you are truly a DUmmie in whom there is no guile! And so you win today's PLTA┬« Award! Congratulations!]


Helloooo.... freepers, trolls, cave dwelllers? Got anything to say about this?

[Yes. It looks like more of the status quo for a while. Tuesday we kicked the can down the road for a couple years. The House remained the same. The Senate remained the same. The incumbent president, the bloom off his rose, won in a squeaker. A few hundred thousand votes in a few key states, and we'd all be singing a different song. Ho hum. We live to fight another day--2014, to be specific. (I'm looking at YOU, Democrat senators up for re-election!) And so, likewise, Kamp Kumbaya proved to be just a fleeting, ephemeral fancy--a mythical Brigadoon that appears for a day and then is no more. Haters gonna hate. DUmmies gonna be DUmmies. The DUmp abides. And so does the DUmmie FUnnies!]


Anonymous Jerome Goolsby said...

The only good thing about the upcoming economic collapse is the effect it will have on these stupid Troglaman Clones/Moonbats at DU. They're going to have the senses-shattering experience of discovering that having government as their god is not the nirvana they dream it to be.

4:25 PM  
Anonymous Rodri said...

Why are you being so rude to this guy who is being so nice to you despite the fact that you clearly hate him ?

4:55 PM  
Anonymous envisio said...

Oh Lord, not Rodri again.

I thought I told you to turn off the computer and go do your homework.

5:13 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

16 trillion gross debt, almost a hundred trillion more in unfunded liabilities, stagnant housing and manufacturing,vast new regulatory thickets being spewed out by Obama's idiot beurocrats, most of whom have never had a job in the private sector, which will slow growth, and Obamacare about to swing into full, ruinous effect.

America is the brokest nation- not only on earth, but in all earth's history, and the dummies think that the government is going to take care of them.

Incredible idiocy.

The silver lining in all this is that they are the LEAST able to survive. When the it hits the fan, we'll suffer, but they'll sink.

6:16 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Easy there everyone. I think we have to take a second look at Rodri. For a while now we have had our acidic shrew troll: Kayinmaine, and our pitiful village idiot troll: troglaman. Rodri(if he sticks around)can be just as entertaining. I wouldn't call him a concern troll, maybe more of a care bear troll, or a wuv twoll.

7:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Now cool. They were really nice when Bush won twice.

8:13 PM  
Anonymous troglaman said...

"Oh Lord, not Rodri again." flatscreen

ummm...yeah. Something's fishy here.

I've often wondered if I might have driven away fellow compatriots who have casually visited this site, offered up an opinion, and have ME, the mighty trog, jump all over their ass. I actually think I've done this a few times over the years. I thought they were one of you. I admit it.

This is what hanging with you warped motherfuckers has done to me. I hope you're happy.

(Flee Rodri! Run!!!)

1:29 AM  
Anonymous Artfldgr said...

"Feminism, Socialism, and Communism are one in the same, and Socialist/Communist government is the goal of feminism." - Catharine A. MacKinnon, Toward a Feminist Theory of the State (First Harvard University Press, 1989), p.10

"If women are to effect a significant amelioration in their condition it seems obvious that they must refuse to marry." -- Germaine Greer, The Female Eunuch (New York: McGraw-Hill, 1971), p. 317

"No woman should be authorized to stay at home and raise her children. Society should be totally different. Women should not have that choice, precisely because if there is such a choice, too many women will make that one." -- Interview with Simone de Beauvoir, "Sex, Society, and the Female Dilemma," Saturday Review, June 14, 1975, p.18

"If life is to survive on this planet, there must be a decontamination of the Earth. I think this will be accompanied by an evolutionary process that will result in a drastic reduction of the population of males." -- Mary Daly, former Professor at Boston College, 2001

"The institution of marriage is the chief vehicle for the perpetuation of the oppression of women; it is through the role of wife that the subjugation of women is maintained. In a very real way the role of wife has been the genesis of women's rebellion throughout history." -- Marlene Dixon, "Why Women's Liberation? Racism and Male Supremacy"

"How will the family unit be destroyed? ... the demand alone will throw the whole ideology of the family into question, so that women can begin establishing a community of work with each other and we can fight collectively. Women will feel freer to leave their husbands and become economically independent, either through a job or welfare." -- From Female Liberation by Roxanne Dunbar

remember, they want a strong family... (i can actually put up lots more).

and as to their ideas on race

"The most successful educational approach to the Negro is through a religious appeal. We do not want word to go out that we want to exterminate the Negro population, and the minister is the man who can straighten out that idea if it ever occurs to any of their more rebellious members." -- Margaret Sanger, letter to Clarence Gamble, Dec. 10,1939. - Sanger manuscripts, Sophia Smith Collection, Smith College. (Dec. 10 is the correct date of the letter. There is a different date circulated, e.g. Oct. 19, 1939; but Dec. 10 is the correct date of Ms Sanger's letter to Mr. Gamble.)

and as they show their love of religion

"Let's forget about the mythical Jesus and look for encouragement, solace and inspiration from real women... Two thousand years of patriarchal rule under the shadow of the cross ought to be enough to turn women toward the feminist 'salvation' of this world." -- Annie Laurie Gaylor, "Feminist Salvation," "The Humanist", July/August 1988, p.37. 10.

9:58 AM  
Anonymous krazy kat said...

"I have no fuck them...I have no sympathy and i want no understanding. These cretins, these fucking traitorous scumbags can all line up to sniff my @ss. I don't want to play nice...FUCK THEM. To all lurking conservatives? I hope your fucking face rots off."

This DUmmie is just a short bus ride from puting people he disagress with in camps. Reminds me a bit of troglaman, although troggy's invective is more imaginative. Still, they share the underlying sentiment.

5:59 PM  
Anonymous Jerome Goolsby said...

True krazy kat...I'm holding out hope tho that guys like that and Troglaman The Guttersnipe are the first ones out in the cold when the disaster they voted for hits.

7:19 PM  
Blogger Trog said...

"This DUmmie is just a short bus ride from puting people he disagress with in camps. Reminds me a bit of troglaman, although troggy's invective is more imaginative. Still, they share the underlying sentiment."

You think I want to put people in camps, kat? How disappointing (any of you jumping to kat's defense are going to have to prove the mighty trog wants to put people in camps...won't happen).

How about this? Why don't you explain why you believe I think "camps" are the answer.

Fucking psycho.

You're as crazy as stinkwagon is; as flatscreen is. Camps.


12:09 AM  
Anonymous troglaman said...

Artfldgr...nice list.

I'm not quite sure what your point is.

If you think a chimpanzee couldn't string together inflammatory wingnut positions on ANYTHING?

That would unfortunately make you a lemur...or a head of cabbage.

You're neither of those. You're just scared of women.

And that makes you a pussy.

12:34 AM  
Anonymous troglaman said...

"The incumbent president, the bloom off his rose, won in a squeaker." PJinc

A squeaker?

"Obama's final win in Florida gives him 332 electoral votes."

"Obama had a 58,720,700 (50.1%) to 56,145,950 (48.4%) lead on Mitt Romney for the popular vote."

It wasn't a fucking "squeaker", you jackass.

1:00 AM  
Anonymous Jerome Goolsby said...

Watching TROGLAMAN - The Sick Perverted Clone of William Rivers Pitt - angrily power-slam his head repeatedly up his ass as his brain vapor-locks in the face of reality.

Well, thanks for letting everyone know you're too stupid to properly comprehend Presidential election results, Guttersnipe.

1:05 AM  
Blogger Ogrrre said...

Sorry, Dawg, but while your post is nice and rosy, I actually look at the evidence in front of me.
Democrats and liberals (redundant) fight and scream each time a work requirement for welfare is introduced. Your proteges in the Occupy movement, with their rapes and vandalism and defecating on police cars show us your true nature. And, then there are the greedy union thugs who wish to bleed their employers dry, then whine when the employer goes out of business. And, we all appreciate your Get Out the Vote Fraud efforts.
Take your lying shit somewhere else, DUmbass, 'cause we're not buying it.

10:23 AM  
Anonymous troglaman said...

"You think I want to put people in camps kat?" the mighty trog

"Maybe not now, but in the long run it might be the only solution to the Christers, Rapturists, fag haters, anti-abortionists, creationists and the assorted root vegetables you so despise. I look forward to my tattoo." kat

Jesus fucking Christ. What a bunch of drama queens.

Do you REALLY BELIEVE this? That it's inevitable your liberal overlords will eventually decide to put you in some goddamn camp somewhere?

I think you do.

Sometimes conversing with you folks is strangely affirming.

2:07 AM  
Blogger Ogrrre said...

Apparentyly Troglatwat's only clarity comes from Everclear. Troglatwat, I was refering to DUmmie Dawg's original post when he/she/it said, "We believe in hard work ..." and "that it would be best if every able-bodied working age person had a job."
Now, as for one of your assertions, Troglatwat, you ignorant slut, you assert that there is no evidence that there is no evidence that job layoffs are greater than job hiring. Check the Bureau of Labor Statistics website, Troglatwat. There are over 4 million fewer jobs now than there were when Il Douche first assumed office. 4 million fewer jobs means that there have been 4 million more jobs eliminated (lay offs) than there have been jobs created. So, Trogladumbass, take your assertions and shove them up your ass ... that is, if there is any room in there beside your head.

9:33 AM  
Anonymous krazy kat said...

"That it's inevitable that your liberal overlords will eventually decide to put you in some goddam camp somewhere?"

Not "camp" but "camps". So you finally admit it. The decision won't be made easily but it probably is inevitable.

They'll be called "re-education camps".

I think you'd make a good kapo.

Or am I just pulling your chain?

12:01 PM  
Anonymous troglaman said...

I think you are pulling my chain. And then I make an example out of you.

The chain pulling starts to get complicated at this point.

11:33 PM  

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