Tuesday, November 06, 2012

Confident DUmmies pop the champagne corks!!


Nobody in their right mind is predicting a huge Obama victory. Most all the polls are showing a dead heat in the popular vote. In terms of electoral votes, many of the swing states that could decide the election--those too show a margin of only a percentage point or two, one way or the other. It looks too close to call with any confidence. The consensus seems to be that it will be one of three possibilities:  a) Romney could win narrowly, b) if there is a bit of a wave, it's more likely to go to the challenger, and thus Romney could win by a somewhat healthier margin, or c) at best, Obama could pull out a squeaker. But no one in their right mind, NOBODY, is predicting with any reasonable degree of confidence d) an Obama blowout.

Nobody . . . in their right mind. And that of course is where the DUmmies come in. "D" is for DUmmie, and the DUmmies ARE predicting an Obama blowout, a LANDSLIDE!  They are EXTREMELY confident, to the point of cocky. Let's break out the champagne bottles, boys and girls, and pop those corks!! WHEEEEEEEE!!!!!!! Freudenschade, baby!!!

Many threads to choose from. The DUmmies are on a Nate Silver high. But we'll just use two threads for now, this THREAD, "Obama 347 Romney 191," and this THREAD, "What will you be drinking on election night?"

So as Election Day is getting underway, let us now join the jubilant denizens of the DUmp, gleeful and gloating and imbibing the bubbly, in Bolshevik Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson--sticking by his long-held prediction of a 52% popular vote, 290-320 range (305 median) electoral vote, victory for Mitt Romney--is in the [brackets]:

Obama 347 Romney 191. . . . This what I think will happen minimally. But, what I hope happens is a a vast sea of blue. . . .

[An Obama Ocean! Let's think big! Let's go 532-6!! And who knows? Utah may still come into play!]

maybe Akin could give us MO.

[MO-mentum, baby! Never mind that Missouri has shown Romney ahead by double digits, and that even McCain won here. Nah, this will be a Lady Parts Landslide!]

I look for Georgia as a long shot. I have heard others also throw South Carolina in there too.

[South Carolina, yes! No one IN THE WORLD has South Carolina in play, but, hey, it could happen! No, it WILL happen!!!]

I like that 347 number but it's still too low for me. The power of a 15% to 20% Popular Vote Obama lead makes that number too low. I'm looking for a number closer to 400. . . .

[COME! ON! 500+!! 538--no, 540!! Bonus points for Guam and American Samoa!!]

Sounds like you're a peddler of bullsh*t. Who have you heard saying South Carolina? Who in their right mind makes that kind of insane prediction?

[To ask the question is to answer it.]

I use those polls for toilet paper.

[benburch would LOVE to stick a poll up his butt!]

More Republicans will vote for Obama than anyone thinks.

[Let's see, Colin Powell, that's one. What about Jon Huntsman? Has anyone heard from him? He could tip the Chinese vote in Utah.]

What will you be drinking on election night?

[Champagne, baby!! WHEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!! Heck, why wait? Pop open the bubbly NOW!!]

I'm leaning toward Famous Grouse and Topo Chico.

[I'm leaning toward Famous Mouse and Topo Gigio. "Eddie, keess me goo'night!"]

It's a multicultural drink of blended Scotch whiskey and Mexican mineral water. Delicious and medicinal.

[Fast and furious.]

Glass of water for my evening meds. . . .

[I suggest a Prozac-Paxil-Celexa cocktail, with a Zoloft chaser.]

Coke Zero.

[I thought Zero gave that stuff up.]

coffee-black- I want to be alert, we need to catch them in the act. . . . They would just love it if we all got wasted, passed out and woke up to a Romney victory!

[Instead, now you can stay up all night for the Romney victory.]

No sh*t! I'm waiting to see if I need to throw on my coat and get my ass to Ohio!

[Don't look now, folks, but the Diebold Excuse is warming up in the bullpen.]

Baileys Irish Cream. . . .

[Followed by a Fairly Ghoulish Scream at the end of the night.]

Pepto Bismol. . . .

[For BO Abysmal.]

Well, I have leftover beer from the Halloween party in my fridge.

[I don't always drink leftover beer, but when I do, I prefer Dos Ickies.]


what the hell. If President Obama takes it, I am having one beer.

[A Beer Summit of One.]

Even if it is Bud Light Platinum.

[If you're having Bud Light, I'll do a platinum duck.]

Bourbon.

Bourbon also.

Bourbon as soon as the polls close.

[Bourbon sprawl.]

same as every other night; sweet tea.

[We Rethuglicans will be drinking your sweet tears.]

Dortmunder Gold

[Comedy Gold.]

home-made wine. . . .

[Soon turning to home-made whine.]

Probably Dr. Pepper.

[And when Romney wins, Dr. Prepper.]

Kool Aid.

 


Probably a nice cabernet.

[After Holder, Hillary, and Nappy, I could go for a nice cabernet.]

A big 'ol glass of smug satisfaction.

[Looks like you guys have already started!]

The blood of my enemies! Muwahahahahaha!

[I'm probably not your type.]

Champagne for Obama win. Drano for Rmoney win.

 


Becks!


Well sh*t, I already started!

[Let the party begin! No need to even count the votes! It's an Obama LANDSLIDE!!!]

Beer. Lots of it.

[So how will this night be any different, Will?]

I wish I could drink, but this is my wifes peak time right now and we're trying to have our first. Alcohol lowers sperm count, thus I'm cut off this week.

[Look, you will not want to bring a child into RomneyWorld, so go ahead and drink away.]

 


white russians. . . .

[The DUde abides.]

On the off chance of a Romney win (shudder) I have a full bottle of vodka, a full bottle of Captain and a mostly full bottle of tequila.

[Knock yourself out!]

I expect my liver to sue for divorce Wednesday morning.

[There must be fifty ways to leave your liver.]

32 Comments:

Anonymous Jerome Goolsby said...

The depth of the insanity of the Troglaman Clones/Moonbats on DU is astounding.

2:16 PM  
Blogger Trog said...

"DUmmies pop the champagne corks!!"

Yes they do.

What was it you were saying about the troglamatic denial of reality, stinkwagon?

It doesn't matter. You'll still be as psychotic now as you are tomorrow.

Hey! These 'rape' guys did really well, didn't they?

You fuckers are crazy. That's why you lost this. Religion, race and misogyny aren't going to work anymore.

That's not to say you shouldn't keep trying.

Stupid shits.

11:58 PM  
Anonymous Jerome Goolsby said...

The country just voted to fuck itself. I had no idea there were that many Troglaman Clones/Moonbats but I was wrong and now their folly is going to screw us all. The only justice in that is the Troglaman Clones/Moonbats think it won't affect them. They will find to their chagrin nothing could be further from the truth and they will suffer the worst of it because they are the ones least capable of dealing with it.

1:12 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yeah, I doubt there is a single idiot on DU who isn't on some kind of government support. When the ecomomy goes down they will be the one's LEAST able to survive. So good job, parasites, you will kill the host and then yourselves.

2:01 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You know, the one silver lining in all of this is that now the democrats own it. The blame coming disasters will finally fall on their heads. They can't blame George Bush. Obamacare, the fiscal cliff, the tax hikes, they own it all now.

2:04 AM  
Anonymous Kirk Johnson said...

Obama '12 is inheriting a bigger mess from his predecessor than Obama '08!

3:01 AM  
Anonymous Jerome Goolsby said...

But many DO still blame Bush which is insane.

3:32 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The Dems own it now.

America pays 1% interest on its 16 trillion debt (20 trillion soon). The standard rate is 5%. Once the US dollar is no longer the global reserve currency, the interest rates will revert. Japan, for example, pays over 50% of its taxable income on INTEREST on its debt. Interest. Not he principle. They will NEVER pay off the principle.

This is called the Death Spiral.

I'm smart, skilled and resourceful. The dummies are weak, confused and reliant on handouts. Half of them have psychological problems or require medication (they have said so). All they want, all they say, again and again, through their screen of hate and venom, is that they want the government to take care of them. That's all they want. Just that. All else is rationalization.

When the shit hits the fan, they will sink. People like me will keep afloat. So let them crow. Let them have their moment. They're weak. And their credit card is maxed out.

6:59 AM  
Anonymous envisio said...

Jerome said: I had no idea there were that many Troglaman Clones/Moonbats but I was wrong

You were not wrong, they're not that many. The simple fact is that there is no way Hussein would have won had he not been black.

This is the plain truth. Obama won because he is black. Period.
The turnout from minorities voting blindly for "their kind" and the relentless fawning from the media elected Zer0.

MTV elected him. BlackEntertainmentNetwork elected him. Hollywood elected him. Reality TV elected him. (excluding Duck Dynasty and Sons of Guns) The inner-city welfare system elected him. Guilty white liberal hipsters elected him.

Anyone dare not say it was because of his race or dare not disclose their contempt for Obama. It would be racist and just plain un-cool.

10:20 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well, I've followed this site for years and now I must say goodbye, as America has proven itself fundamentally changed and the tipping point has been reached.

The Republican Party has proven itself about as relevant as the Whig party in promoting fiscal responsibility.

The only possible way some sort of American political virtue can be restored will have to come from the conservative wing of the Democratic Party.

If a Republican president had a Bengazhi on his/her hands on the ever of an election, they would have been impeached at the least and everyone knows it. Yet Obama was reelected, and there was nothing anybody could do about it.

This is not the country I was born in.

Therefore, with a deep sigh, I hold my hand out to Trog and his ilk and say, "I give up! Equality for all! So move over a bit from the trough, folks, so I can get my snout in there and take advantage of every single fucking freebie the government has to offer, seeing how my taxes are helping to pay for it."

I'd suggest the rest of you do as well, be it food stamps, gasoline assistance, home insulation, wind power, whatever. It's not going to last forever, and when the supply runs out, it's going to get ugly.

Consider this my Moocher's Manifesto.

Just take the time you spend surfing porn or blathering on Facebook and start looking up the programs on the internet.

If it's good enough for Barry's constituency, it's certainly good enough for me and my family.

Take care, everyone. Trog - congratulations all around. I'm going to enjoy the free hand outs as long as I can (and before they hurriedly make white people ineligble) thanks to people like you.

12:47 PM  
Anonymous Rodri said...

Obama won because he did a really good job as president. He saved us from a massive depression and did a real good job in foreign policy. He killed Bin Laden, who Bush failed to kill, and Qaddafi, who Reagan failed to kill.

Its not all bad news for you conservatives. Obama is also a master economist, he will fix the economy and save this country from the apocalyptic doom you guys are all predicting.

I bet in four years you guys will like him too :-)

ps. I find it funny that the DUmmy prediction turned out to be closer to reality than Charles Hendrickson's !

4:59 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Anon 12:47PM,

Quitter.


Rodri,

Spoken like a good/blind little serf. Take some birth control pills out of petty cash on your way out.

6:39 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Rodri; does your mommie know you're on her computer? You got 9 out of ten wrong on that champ. Now howzabout you go back outside and play a nice little game of hide and go fuck yerself.....

11:35 PM  
Anonymous troglaman said...

"The only justice in that is the Troglaman Clones/Moonbats think it won't affect them. They will find to their chagrin nothing could be further from the truth" stinkwagon (who clearly doesn't get 'irony')

Do you know how many times in the last few years you've ALL told me that what a sorry-assed DEFEATED AND HUMILIATED human being I was going to be in 2012? Do you? Hundreds. That's no exaggeration.

I figure I'm entitled to a good "go fuck yourselves" moment. Why? You were wrong. About everything.

Did you notice Silver got it right? Probably not. Did you notice that every one of the republiDUm candidates that waded into the rape-baby tarpit lost? Did you notice Walsh and West bit it (because they're fucking nuts)? Women were overwhelmingly Obama. Minorities were overwhelmingly Obama. Gays were overwhelmingly Obama. Young people were overwhelmingly Obama. Romney got the white man vote. Did you notice that?

Probably not. Romney lost after getting the white man vote. The horror.

You either don't think you alienated these voters or you think you're entitled to alienate these voters. You think you're better than them. Either way, you expose yourself.

Here's a clue, you fucking pod-people...if you alienate women, black people, Latinos, gays, and everyone else who isn't a white male, then you're going to lose...unless you figure out a way to cheat (an entirely plausible scenario).

So go fuck yourselves. Go fuck your mother, impregnate her and take her to court for not having your baby. This is who you are; how you present yourselves. You're proud of it.

I had the opportunity to get the full onslaught of 'marriage is defined as a man and woman' argument here in WA. What a crock. My neighbors agreed.

You stupid fuckers better change it up or you're going to keep losing. Simple as that.

12:26 AM  
Anonymous troglaman said...

"Rodri, spoken like a good/blind little serf. Take some birth control pills out of petty cash on your way out." troglANON

"Rodri; does your mommie know you're on her computer?" troglANON

TroglANON wants to believe Rodri is a little serf dipping into the birth control grab-bag on her way home to mommie's computer.

Is Rodri a girl, troglANON? How do you know that? You don't. Dipping into a free grab bag of birth control? You seem to know that too even though Rodri didn't say a thing about it. Mommie's computer...OK now it's getting fucking weird.

This is your fantasy, troglANON, you fucking psycho. Every bit of it. You're literally making it up. In your head, Rodri is a slut grabbing free birth control as she walks out the door on her way to her "mommies computer".

Jesus. Do the people in your neighborhood know you're there, troglANON?

And you wonder why you fuckers lost. Look in the goddamn mirror, douchebags.

1:12 AM  
Anonymous troglaman said...

"Therefore, with a deep sigh, I hold my hand out to Trog and his ilk and say, "I give up!" troglANON

Very good! Go over there and bend over. Everyone get's an abortion here, my friend.

2:19 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Obama is also a master economist"

Wow.

I had to read it a couple times to be sure. Even some of Obama's most devoted ass kissers in the media might have a hard time saying that line with a straight face.

9:32 AM  
Anonymous The Phantom Stranger said...

I see Troglaman is proving it does not comprehend reality.

It can't understand or comprehend what happened in the election. It can't comprehend what will happen to it when reality will finally hit it.

It only knows how to hate and be stupid.

1:13 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

For those of you that didn't take the time to read Troglaman's super-de-duper triple post, let me break it down for you.

First: imagine the sound of a TV test pattern.

Second: dumb it down by about 50%

Now you have a mental image (albeit slightly more intelligent) of what he/she/it wrote.

9:46 PM  
Anonymous The ULTIMATE Man said...

FOAD Troglafuck you lying racist fucked up fucking fuckwad.

11:30 PM  
Anonymous Rodri said...

I defend America and all I get are insults !

11:35 PM  
Anonymous The ULTIMATE Man said...

This Rodri character sounds almost as delusional and narcissistic as Troglafuck.

2:11 AM  
Anonymous troglaman said...

"I see Troglaman is proving it does not comprehend reality." Phantom

So what reality am I not comprehending?

Obama won. That's incomprehensible to you, Phantom. Not me. I always thought he'd win. You thought he'd lose.

Boil it down from there.

Is it even remotely possible for you fucking worms to understand where you screwed up? Because, like it or not, you did. I didn't. You STILL think it's someone else's problem besides yours.

2:27 AM  
Anonymous Rodri said...

It is a sad day when I stand up for America and defend its commander-in-chief and all I get are insults.

Hopefully when all of you grow up you will be able to appreciate America and all the great things it has done over the world.

America has lifted millions of people out of poverty and have brought them to freedom.

Maybe someday you will understand and will stop disrespecting America and its president.

8:55 AM  
Anonymous envisio said...

""""It can't understand or comprehend what happened in the election.""""

I can. 94% of blacks blindly voted for Obama. There you have it.

But white people are racist, dontcha know.

9:18 AM  
Anonymous envisio said...

Rodri, I am guessing that Obama is the only president that has been in office since you were old enough to know what it is.

Please, put the Iphone down and do your homework or go outside and play.

9:22 AM  
Anonymous Rodri said...

I might be a bit young compared to you. I'm in my mid twenties. That doesn't change that Obama is a great man you all should be proud of.

10:27 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Rodri, your rose colored glasses don't make Obama "a great man". He is not. There is nothing there to be proud of. Your choice to worship him is your own. Trying to convince us (with a supposedly straight face) that he is somehow worthy of respect flies in the face of reality.

You are not standing up for America defending someone who does not stand up for America.

1:12 PM  
Anonymous Adam said...

Rodri, you're pathetic.
You're not "Standing up for America"; I personally love America, even on occasions when I am disappointed with the decisions its people and leaders make. You are defending a president who now has even more time to ruin our country.
"Obama won because he did a really good job as president."
BWAHAHAHA! He won because he exploited the one gift he had, empty charisma, and because Republicans probably could have found a better candidate. Now, let's look at this list of accomplishments you credit him with.
"He saved us from a massive depression..."
He saved us from NOTHING! Our economy is still in the crapper, and will be worse as all the astronomical spending Obama is doing takes its toll on us.
" and did a real good job in foreign policy."
Again I say, BWAHAHAHA!
Obama's foreign policy has been absolutely terrible. Towards those nations who are normally our allies, he's acted like either an ignorant, narcissistic buffoon (i.e. England), or a two- faced, condescending jerk who'll leap at the opportunity to betray them to any dictator that he happens to sympathize with (i.e. Israel, Honduras). In contrast, towards our nation's enemies, he acts like a gutless, spineless bootlicker who bows to their psychotic rulers (A massive breach of protocol for a US president) and geefully bashes and insults his own country in front of them.
" He killed Bin Laden, who Bush
failed to kill, and Qaddafi, who Reagan failed to kill."
OK, this is getting ridiculous.
1. Obama did NOT kill bin Laden, the soldiers in Seal Team 6 did.
2. Bin Laden was found using the intelligence policies that the Bush Administration implemented, which liberal like you whined about and called "inhumane."
3. When Obama learned that bin Laden had been found it took him a FULL 18 HOURS to give the green light for the Seals to take him out, enough time for Obama to sleep on it and play a few relaxing rounds of golf (An activity that he has always considered to be more important than running the country).
4. Bush caught Saddam Hussein and had him hanged, and you liberals all whined and complained about that, with some DUmmies actually comparing Saddam's execution to a KKK lynching.
"Its not all bad news for you conservatives. Obama is also a master economist, he will fix the economy and save this country from the apocalyptic doom you guys are all predicting."
Um, okaaaaay. He doesn't know jack about the economy, his policies are continuing to worsen our economy and dig us deeper into the hole of debt we're already in.
(To be continued)

1:03 PM  
Anonymous Adam said...

(Continued)
"I bet in four years you guys will like him too :-)"
Look, you smug little loser, I was willing to at least give Obama a chance when he was first elected (Which is a hell of a lot more generous than you liberals were towards Bush when he was first elected), but he has thoroughly disgraced his country in these first four years. In addition to the points I mentioned, there is also his hypocrisy (He regularly gives speeches on how we Americans need tomake sacrifices in these economic times, even as he and his family go on astronomically expensive vacations on the taxpayer's dime every couple months or so), he is also the most intentionally divisive US president in a long time. He quite deliberately pushes for Americans to turn aganst each other on political (He regularly portrays Republicans as not just wrong, but evil), financial (His campaign was basically geared around portraying all financially successful people as pure evil incarnate), religious (He kisses up to Islam while simultaneously screwing over Christians and Jews on a regular basis), and racial lines (His intentionally inflammatory remarks on the Trayvon Martn shooting which undoubtedly helped to further provoke the wave of black on white "Flash mob" attacks that erupted around that time). Another four years for him to continue disgracing his position and his country are NOT going to make me improve my opinion of him, though maybe it'll help you see how worthless he truly is.

1:04 PM  
Anonymous Rodri said...

Oh dear, you rant is so nonsensical and not grounded in reality I don't even know where to start. here is a randomly selected lie that I am going to explain to you...

Honduras? Zelaya wasn't a dictator. He is not even a leftist. Its just another imaginary talking point conservatives dreamed up in order to demonize Obama. I bet you never even heard of Zelaya until the coup.

6:15 PM  
Anonymous The ULTIMATE Man said...

FOAD Troglafuck, you lying racist fucked up fucking fuckwad.

1:56 AM  

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