Sunday, July 01, 2012

How to Scam Free Drinks from Trust Fund Pitt

If you're in the Boston area and want free drinks, simply go to the Cambridge Bukowski's and blast America. If you do, WILLIAM RIVERS PITT will pull out a wad of his trust fund bucks and pay for all the drinks you want. You can see this technique at work in this Pitt THREAD, "America Must Declare War on America." The scene starts out with Pitt writing about his favorite subject, himself, and goes downhill from there. I guess Pitt must be drowning his sorrows in multiple brewskis nowadays to help him get over his frustration over NOT being a part of the Elizabeth Warren campaign. Yes, the one election race of most interest to liberals and Pitt is not allowed to become involved. Perhaps it might have something to do with the Karl Rove Indictment fraud he perpetrated. Or maybe it might have something to do with his public humiliation after he threatened violence upon a homeless woman, Bobo the Hobo. So let us now watch Pitt once again talk into his beer mug in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, who has been scoring all the FREE beer he wants via coupons, is in the [brackets]:

America Must Declare War on America 

[Bukowski's Special: Just recite those magic words and score FREE beer care of the Trust Fund Kid.]

I was polishing the local bartop with my elbows the other day next to a naturalized Irishman who works as an electrician. He asked what I did for a living, and I winced a little before telling him, "I write politics," because I knew what was coming. As ever, when I let people know what I do while in the confines of a drinking establishment, I was immediately subjected to a sustained violation of The First Law Of The Bar: "Thou shalt not talk of religion or politics here." 

[Don't be so humble, Pitt. You should have told the Irishman about how you broke the story about Karl Rove being indicted on May 12, 2006.]

Such moments are normally excruciating for me, pretty much entirely because the absolute last thing I want to do while nursing a whiskey and watching a ballgame is talk shop. This time, however, was different. My new friend regaled me with a succinct, accurate and scathing assessment of his adopted country - "Millions of people need work, the infrastructure of the country is falling down around our ears, but no one in power seems able or willing to put one and one together and solve two problems with one stroke," he railed at one point - before summing it all up with a single, perfect, devastating brick. 

"America," he said, "has a war on drugs that doesn't work. It has a war on poverty that doesn't work. It has a war on crime that has only managed to fill its prisons. It has wars in Afghanistan and Iraq that didn't work. You want to fix everything that has gone wrong? There's only one answer: America must declare war on America." 

[The Irishman obviously knew the key to unlocking Pitt's trust fund bucks.]

My new friend did not pay for another drink the rest of the night. 

[See how easy it was?]

Absolutely God damned right. 

[More clich├ęd Pitt writing.]

America must declare war on America, against the fusillade of divisive nonsense that passes for political discourse these days, provided with full corporate sponsorship by a small cabal of rich people via the "mainstream" news media they own from top to bottom. Americans must declare war on America, on the America this fortunate few would create with zeroes to the left of the decimal on their secret donation checks, on the America these reavers and traitors seek to make in their own corrupted, bloated image. 

[Ranted a member of a small cabal of rich trust fund kids.]

I have made this point time and time and time again, but it bears repeating once more: the single greatest strength the far right and their paymasters enjoy is their utter and complete lack of shame. They will say anything - literally anything - to gain an advantage in any debate, and be damned to whoever takes a screwing in the process. 

[Will they also say "Karl Rove will be indicted in 24 business hours?"]

As if all this were not enough already, that small cabal who helped deliver us to this diseased and deranged estate has the perfect answer to all the problems before us: a plastic-fantastic fraud of a multi-millionaire, named after a kitchen utensil, who was against everything he stands for before he was for it before he was against it, who made his money killing American jobs, whose wife tries to connect with the common people by wearing $900 t-shirts on national television, and whose family claimed a $70,000 tax deduction for owning a doped-up horse. 

[So even if his wife were homeless, like Bobo the Hobo, you would still threaten to slam her.]

America must declare war on America. You, me, and everyone we know with brain one in our heads and the best interests of the country at heart need to charge the ramparts, stand our post, and refuse to take even one step back. 

[Pitt charged the ramparts when the OWS Boston was around by lying on his comfy couch and watching it on TV.]

The Supreme Court is rewriting the Constitution on the back of a corporate pay stub, Congress has made itself more useless than nipples on an ice cream cone, the President of the United States has decided he can kill where and who he wishes with a video game, and Colorado is on fire even as the "mainstream" news media gives respectful ear to a Republican presidential candidate who argues that firing firefighters is a bully idea and the answer to all that ails us. 

[Not satisfied that The Bamster did a Colorado fire flyover on his way to a Hollywood fundraiser?]

To a great many people's surprise, a majority of the Supreme Court - led by Chief Justice Roberts, of all people - ruled in favor of the Affordable Care Act on Thursday morning. For many Americans, this was a big victory and a tremendous relief, but in truth, the law does not nearly go far enough. Senator Bernie Sanders said it best: "In my view, while the Affordable Care Act is an important step in the right direction and I am glad that the Supreme Court upheld it, we ultimately need to do better. If we are serious about providing high-quality, affordable healthcare as a right, not a privilege, the real solution to America's health care crisis is a Medicare-for-all, single-payer system. Until then, we will remain the only major nation that does not provide health care for every man, woman and child as a right of citizenship." 

[So can we mark you down as in favor of repealing ObamaCare?]

This issue is one of a multitude facing this nation today, and there is only one way to get it done.
America must declare war on America. 

[The magic words to loosen up those trust fund coins from Pitt.]

Stand your post. 

[Lie your couch. And now to the rest of the DUmmies...]

We don't need a war on America - we need a revolution. 

[Bolshevik Revolution of course. And don't forget to expropriate the trust funds of a certain Bukowski's denizen.]

Did you ask your Irish friend if he might be interested in writing about politics? 

[Perhaps he could provide us a scoop on the impending Karl Rove indictment.]

The implementation of national health care was badly timed. It was brought on line as a matter of political expediency rather than one of immediate need. It is going to cost the taxpayers billions before the smoke clears. 

[Thank you for your input you LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]


Anonymous krazy kat said...

Reading Pitt's latest piece of beer fueled fiction you'd never realize that a Democrat has been in the White House the past 41 months and the Democrats have controlled the Senate since 2006.

4:59 PM  
Blogger 98ZJUSMC said...

America Must Declare War on America

*the long, slow.... Peter Griffin-type facepalm*

However, this is how the Troglatarded think....

.......for his Grandkids....

*the long, slow.... Peter Griffin-type facepalm*

9:01 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Did you ask your Irish friend if he might be interested in writing about politics?"

You mean the fake Irish friend invented to advance the notion that average folk are clammoring for the "Revolution", a common rhetorical tool employed to DUmbasses on a nearly daily basis. Usually start out like this "So I was laboring at my blue collar tough guy job, (so you know I'm not a typical left-wing pussy effeminate pseudo-bearded poet living in Eugene, Oregon...) when I was engaged in random conversation by another tough guy blue collar worker, probably a lumberjack, but defintely not a creation of my own imagination, and he said we need Revolution, and I thought, wow, every non-political, blue collar tough guy I meet says the same thing, and they are absolutely not effeminate pussy pseudo bearded left wing hippie pussies who talk about "Revolution" and then expect other equally tough, blue collar (you know the rest) normal, non poitical people to carry it out. Is that about right?

Nope. Another fake conversation that never occured by another fake revolutionary who will never lift a finger other than to type on his $600 iPad about how unfair this country is. Wah wah wah.

Needless to say, Pitt is once again telling some tall tales, as most DUmbasses do. Political writer? Bull Shit. Every idiot that posts on DU can claim the same title. File under "get a good laugh", and then blow off.

10:00 PM  
Anonymous Corona said...

Anonymous ^above^ got that perfectly.

"They will say anything - literally anything - to gain an advantage in any debate..."
Debate? The evil D word? When was the last time any progressive was Taught to 'debate' any conservative? 1980? Bumper sticker slogans, catchphrases and MSM talking points are not 'debate'.

9:37 AM  
Anonymous envisio said...

"""America Must Declare War on America""""

Is that you Abraham Lincoln?

9:38 AM  
Anonymous envisio said...

Anonymous 10:00 PM----

Now thats writin!!!

9:45 AM  
Anonymous envisio said...

""""the Supreme Court - led by Chief Justice Roberts, of all people - ruled in favor of the Affordable Care Act on Thursday morning"""""

WRONG, you pacifist pussy. SCOTUS is not "in favor" of anything. They ruled that the law, as written, was either constitutional or not. Their job is not to be in favor or against any particular issue. Their job is to rule whether it is legal. I can bet my paycheck that Roberts is not "in favor" of the healthcare law. But its not his job to say whether he likes it or not.

10:07 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"America must declare war on America."

To late, Obama and his gangsters did that in January of 2009.

8:23 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

His difficulty in selling himself to EW (Ewww!) may also stem from his well-known betrayal of Dennis Kook-cinich to the Kerry camp in an attempt to change horses. In a highly unusual display of good judgment, the Kerry camp of course decided it was better to keep the self-serving viper at more than arm's distance.


9:20 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

and I winced a little before telling him, "I write politics," because I knew what was coming. As ever, when I let people know what I do while in the confines of a drinking establishment, I was immediately subjected to a sustained violation of The First Law Of The Bar: "Thou shalt not talk of religion or politics here."

Does anyone believe for a second that while he's drinking and watching David Ortiz spit on his batting gloves between pitches on Bukowski's hi-def screen that WRP is ever going to pass up an opportunity to wow the Bukowski crowd with his "inside" knowledge of politics?

2:47 PM  
Anonymous electricians cambridge said...

Thanks for the great post on your blog, it really gives me an insight on this topic.

10:40 AM  

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