Wednesday, November 09, 2011

"Will Pitt's 40th Birthday today..."

OK, I promise: After today, I will take a moratorium on Will Pitt DUFUs for a while. But today IS the man's 40th birthday, after all, and he IS the Pied Piper of DUmmieland, and he has been the #1 star of the DUmmie FUnnies over these past 7+ years. So a special birthday tribute today to William Rivers Pitt.

Really, though, it's just an excuse to post a song I came up with since yesterday. Yesterday we DUFUed Will's THREAD, "Woke up this morning just covered in Fail," in which the Pittster bemoaned not some setback in the Occupy movement--no, OccupiedWillPitt hasn't even been out to one of the Occupy protests yet--but rather he bemoaned the fact that his sports teams lost over the weekend. That's right, Hiding Hypocrite Pitt has been home watching sports on TV rather than being out on the front lines with his courageous sisters and brothers.

So in that spirit, and in honor of the birthday boy, I have written this tribute to Wee Willie. Click the music link and sing along!

Tune: "(When I Woke Up This Morning) You Were on My Mind", by We Five

When I woke up on Monday
I was full of Fail
And I was full of Fail
My teams burned me, whoa, whoa
Tossed and turned me, whoa, whoa
Hear me weep and wail

So I went to Bukowski's
I got full of ale
Said, I got full of ale
I got plastered, whoa, whoa
Drunk, disastered, whoa, whoa
I got out a pail

But I woke up this morning
I was on my mind
Said, I was on mind
I turned forty, four-oh
Watch more sporty, go, go
I'll stay here reclined

Hey, I got a TV
Down in my room
Said, lay down in my room
Hey, I got cable, whoa, whoa
TV table, whoa, whoa
I'm gonna watch away my gloom

When I woke up this morning
I was on my mind
And marching's such a grind
Hey, it's too chilly, whoa, whoa
I'm Wee Willie, whoa, whoa
I'll stay here reclined

Now today, on Wee Willie's birthday itself, Mother Pitt, aka DUmmie Raven, has posted this congratulatory THREAD for Sonny Boy, "Will Pitt's 40th Birthday today..."

So let's drop in on the party, shall we, in Birthday Balloon Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, the wag tailoring the doggerel, Charles Henrickson, encouraging all of you DU moles to stop in and wish William the best, is in the [brackets]:

Will Pitt's 40th Birthday today...

[William Pitt the Younger is now William Pitt the Elder.]

How did this happen?????

[If you don't remember, Mother Pitt, I'm guessing it involved Will Pitt's dad.]

I guess I was a child bride.

[Raven laid an egg.]

Happy B'Day Will!

[The Day When Willie Pitt Finally Aged. Now we will see an older, wiser, more mature William Rivers Pitt, less of the over-imbibing trust-fund baby, and more of the Professorial Pipesmoker Pitt.]

HA! Awesome.

[Or not. William thanks Mumsy for giving him this thread.]

How does a young lass like you have a 40-year-old son?

[Lass is more . . . than 60.]

Happy Birthday, Will! You're one of the best we've got!

[Amazingly, this is true! But this is like saying the Rams are one of the best football teams in St. Louis.]

H B, W P......and manny moe..

[O W S, A W O L, W P......and MIA..]

Where's the cake?

[Where's Willie? Not at the protest!]


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