Sunday, May 15, 2011

DUmmie whines: "I Want To Smack Every Teabagger I See."

It's the Daze of Whine and Poses at DUmmieland. But then, I repeat myself. For DUmmies are nothing if not a bunch of whiney liberals. Case in point: DUmmie ChoppinBroccoli, who is upset because he might have to do something on his own to take care of his parental responsibiliities, rather than have the government do it for him. You see, the taxpayers in his district chose not to pass an additional levy, so now ChoppinBroccoli, poor baby, might actually have to transport his own kid to all-day kindergarten, rather than having a school bus do it for him. WAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!

ChoppinBroccoli blames the EEEE-vil rich for this, of course, those greedy misers who won't pay an extra $15 so his kid can take a bus. ChoppinBroccoli is so mad, he posted this
THREAD, "I Want To Smack Every Teabagger I See."

Now the kicker is, ChoppinBroccoli is a LAWYER, and he lives in a nice SUBURB, so it's not like he's some poor shlub like bobbolink, living in the back of a Buick. If he doesn't have any friends or family willing to help, he could well afford to take care of some other arrangement for his child's transportation. But he's a Democrat, so he expects other people to pay his bills and do everything for him.

So let us hop on the short bus and get dropped off at DUmmieland, where the comments are in Read-Whine Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, who somehow manages to get his daughter to school without a bus, is in the [brackets]:

I Want To Smack Every Teabagger I See

[That's some violent rhetoric there, ChoppinBroccoli. Are you a Broccoli stalker?]

Just a little background information first. My oldest son turned 5 this month and is going to be starting Kindergarten in the fall. In the school district where we live, there are several elementary schools, but only one of them has all day, every day Kindergarten. . . .

[Choppin looked, but he couldn't find a 24/7 kindergarten.]

Well, last week, we found out that our son got into the all day Kindergarten program, so we were pretty excited about that.


Between my wife and I, our work schedules would have taken a serious hit trying to accommodate pick-ups and drop-offs for just a half-day Kindergarten program, and we were stressing out over how we would get that to work. . . .


because the recent school levy (voted on last week) was defeated, the school district was cutting out all transportation services (aka busing). Translation: I'm going to have to drive my child to school every day in the Fall.

[NO! SHOCKING!! UNHEARD OF!!! How could they be so CRUEL????]

but the doors to the elementary school don't open until 9:05 a.m.


Guess what time I normally need to be in Court on the days I have Court.

[Mm, 9:05 a.m.?]

And since EVERY PARENT with a child in that school will ALSO be driving his/her child to school that day, what do you think the chances are that I'll be able to drive up to the door, drop him off, give him a quick good-bye, and then get immediately back on the road, given the line of cars trying to do the same thing?

[WOW! The prisoners on the Gulag Archipelago didn't have it this hard!]

Here's what irks me about this whole thing. We live in a fairly well-to-do suburb of Columbus. . . . In the run-up to the vote on the school levy issue, there was a very visible and well-funded "Vote No on Issue 7" campaign waged. . . . And nothing would upset me more than to drive home through the "rich neighborhood" and see these HUGE houses with "Vote No on 7" signs in their front yards.

[D*mn democracy! Who do those voters think they are??]

Yeah, I'm sure that extra fifteen bucks you're going to have to pay in taxes to support your local schools is going to REALLY break your bank, @ssholes.

[Mr. Lawyer ChoppinBroccoli, who lives in this well-to-do suburb, fails to see the irony in his not wanting to spend $15 of his own to pitch in on carpooling.]

So I said . . . only HALF-facetiously, that every time I have a scheduling conflict that makes it difficult to drop my son off at school at 9:05 in the morning, I'm going to drive him up to the door of one of these houses with the "Vote No on 7" signs in the yard and tell them, "Here. YOU drive him to school today. Hope you choke on your 15 bucks, @sshole."

[ChoppinBroccoli is only $15 away from having No Child Left Behind.]

I'm getting so d*mn sick of living in "all taxes are evil" land.

[You tell, 'em, Choppin! DOWN with democracy! DOWN with voting! UP with taxes! Get a BUS, for Gaia's sake, and come get this kid off my hands!]

[Now to the other DUmmies . . .]

End corporate fascism in this country. It is dangerous!

[Whatever the problem--no money for school buses, jobs being outsourced, lint--the cause is always the same: corporatist facist pigs.]

An ounce of money for good schools is worth a pound of money for prisons.

[If somebody doesn't come up with that 15 bucks to get Choppin's boy on a bus, HE'LL END UP DOING HARD TIME! Come ON, people!!]

We really need all adults in this country to go through a remedial educational program to understand the whole point of taxes and of collective action.

[Load 'em on a bus and send 'em off to Reeducation Camp!]

As it is now, the Stupid is phenomenal.

[The Stupid is strong with this one.]

when you have so much and you don't want to share a simple $15 bucks more in taxes to help our future - our children - do better so they can compete with children around the world, that's taking greed to a whole new low. And, sadly, this new phenomenon is very much exclusively an American affliction.


I think we have a sociopathic country, perhaps a term is sociopathic capitalism.

[I thought the term was corporate fascism.]

Just ask them if they would prefer educated tax paying people or criminals breaking into their houses.

[Save JuniorBroccoli from a life of crime! Only $15! My G*D, people!]

That's a pretty healthy whine you typed up. It's called life. Deal with it.


you have a practical issue to deal with and i suggest trying to find a parent in your neighborhood who needs a few extra bucks and would be willing to care for your child during those hours when you must be at work.

[Wow, what a concept! Coming up with a non-government solution!]

Do you want your child in "all day every day Kindergarten" so he will advance educationally? Or, is it more beneficial as a sort of "all day every day" day you and your wife can pursue your professional interests?

[Careful, you're getting a little too close to home. . . . ChoppinBroccoli responds . . .]

My oldest son is very advanced for his age, and he's been in a daycare that has given him an education (as opposed to just watching him and playing with him while we work) for the last 5 years.

[Translation: We dumped him off as soon as he was born.]

Can't say I blame the voters for shooting down the levy if a significant portion of it was to pay for transportation of children to a magnet school because parents want the luxury of more school hours to accommodate their work schedules. Sounds like you'll have to do what about 99% of all other working parents do - either hire someone to watch your children before and after school or put them in private kindergarten.

[OK, ChoppinBroccoli won the Whiney Liberal Award, but YOU, DUmmie lynne, you win today's Kewpie Doll for your Brief Moment of Mental Clarity®! Go to the head of the class! . . . Back to Choppin for summing up . . .]

All 3 of my kids have been in daycare since they were born. The younger 2 still are, and will continue to be. Our oldest is going to school NOT to have somebody to watch him while we work, but because we actually want our kids to go to school. I thought every parent wanted education for their child, but apparently I was wrong.

[Some parents actually want to form a bond with their children, instead of shipping them off to strangers, but hey, that's me.]


Anonymous Anonymous said...

"apparently I was wrong."-ChoppinDUmmie

Oh, if you only knew.

12:13 AM  
Anonymous Corona said...

[Translation: We dumped him off as soon as he was born.]

Heh heh. Surprised he let his wife be punished with 3 children.

10:57 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

And here's the money quote:

"That's a pretty healthy whine you typed up. It's called life. Deal with it."

11:26 AM  
Anonymous envisio said...

""""And guess what, the bleepin' teabaggers already picked this up, like at Dummie Funnies (just mocks not really defends the situation) and Conservative Underground (some there also support my idea of carpooling...but are a bit meaner).""""

OH OH Looks like someone is reading the DUFUs. They did the unthinkable and posted the link. Thats a no-no in DUmmieland

12:38 PM  
Anonymous Corona said...

Yeah, we're like carpoolers. Only meaner. We're gonna mean you up real good.

3:32 PM  
Anonymous Adam said...

Seriously, as I said when commenting on this in conservativeunderground, that's what carpooling is for. It's easy: The DUmmy goes to a school open- house night or other such public event at the school, befriends another student's parent who lives near the DUmmy and the school, and asks the other parent to take the DUmmy's kid to school along with his own kid. Then again, it is incredibly difficult for DUmmies to befriend anyone who isn't a fellow raving ultra- liberal lunatic, so that could complicate matters.
btw, the DUmmies' reactions to us are speeding up considerably, it usually takes at least a couple days of our mocking one of their idiotic threads before they're on to us.

4:05 PM  
Anonymous tonto's expanding headband said...

What a putz! Even liberal lawyers have an unlimited sense of entitlement. Maybe he can hire an unemployed teabagger or a retiree on a fixed income to drive his snotty son to klndergarten every day. I'd like to think that ChoppinBroccoli lives in my school district which recently voted down a proposed budget increase.

4:28 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I heard that even if they had the money, the buses wouldn't work...the wheels are all gummed up with all the former associates Obama has thrown under the bus...

9:21 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I wish to cordially extend this invitation to Fartin'broccoli to come on out to Oklahoma and start smacking every TEA party member/activist he sees. You see, a lot of us here aren't into that "turn the other cheek" BS, and will promptly wipe the floor with the widdle whiney wussie.
So, FartinBroccoli, I suggest you use what problem solving skills you have and come up with a solution to your problem. Perhaps a bit of anger management counseling would also help. Otherwise, bring it.

9:39 PM  
Blogger TANSTAAFL said...

Sorry, but this has to be said:

What a whiny little bitch.

5:03 PM  
Anonymous Jerome Goolsby said...

Lazarus Long said...
Sorry, but this has to be said:

What a whiny little bitch.

In other words, a Troglaman Clone. No apology required.

1:45 PM  
Anonymous troglaman said...

"What a whiny little bitch." laz and jackin jerry

I know. We're all such a big bunch of whiny namby pambys. All of us good-for-nothings wantin' a free ride...suckin' the entitlement teat. What a bunch of dumbass cry-baby losers us libs are.

You seem to forgetting that we manufactured and orchestrated the perfect Keynesian Manchurian Candidate. We've also gotten in league with the Islamic fascists and the Communists in a plot to take over the world. We control the Liberal Main Stream Media. We are enacting a plan to send the children we haven't yet aborted to Government Programming Camps. And we killed OBL. We're destroying the economy. We want you to marry your son, your dog and your mother and feel good about it. We want our Death Panels and we want thenm NOW! Last but not least, we, the proud libs, are at war with Christmas.

Does this sound like the workings of a bunch of wimp-assed, crybaby pussies to you?

12:37 AM  
Anonymous troglaman said...

Oh, and I forgot...the remote controls...Fox will soon be a thing of the past. Begin your good-byes.

12:54 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"I know. We're all such a big bunch of whiny namby pambys."-troglaman

You could have stopped there.

8:41 AM  
Blogger TANSTAAFL said...

"We're all such a big bunch of whiny namby pambys."

Yep, and a collection of hypocritical thieves, too.

9:05 AM  
Anonymous Elrond Hubbard said...


"What a bunch of dumb-ass cry-baby losers us libs are...We're destroying the economy."

The scales are finally falling from your eyes. The first, halting, step toward your rehabilitation has been made. Meanwhile, keep your hands off my dog.

3:41 PM  
Anonymous troglaman said...

But I love your dog, elrond. And he loves me too.

I know I sound like a broken record, but when was the last time a RepubliDUm fixed the deficit?

I would love to know.

When was the last time a RepubliDUm won a war? Haiti and Panama don't count.

Answer these two questions then tell me why anything you say about fixing deficits and winning wars has any weight. You jackasses can't fix deficits and you can't win wars. Like it or not, this is fact.

So why should anyone buy into your solutions? Why?

Give me one good reason and I will deem you the new castrati.

1:19 AM  
Anonymous Jerome Goolsby said...

Fueled by hate and terrified of reality, TROGLAMAN - The Official Hate-Mongering Anti-American Guttersnipe of the DUmmie FUnnies Blog Site - power-slammed his head repeatedly up his like a jackhammer while howling like a mad dog to emit the following piles of worthless mental excrement:

"I know. We're all such a big bunch of whiny namby pambys. All of us good-for-nothings wantin' a free ride...suckin' the entitlement teat. What a bunch of dumbass cry-baby losers us libs are." - Troglaman The Hate-Mongering Guttersnipe

Once more Guttersnipe finds the truth by accident. But you got it dead right, Guttersnipe, that's exactly what you are.

"We control the Liberal Main Stream Media....We're destroying the economy. We want you to marry your son, your dog and your mother and feel good about it. We want our Death Panels and we want thenm NOW! Last but not least, we, the proud libs, are at war with Christmas." - Troglaman as he continued to power-slam his head up his ass.

Wow...twice you stumbled on to the truth, Guttersnipe...and in the same post no less.

"Does this sound like the workings of a bunch of wimp-assed, crybaby pussies to you?" - Troglaman the morally gutless Guttersnipe, continuing to power-slam his head repeatedly up his ass.

Absolutely Guttersnipe...that's EXACTLY what it sounds like.

3:35 PM  
Anonymous Jerome Goolsby said...

"I know I sound like a broken record, but when was the last time a RepubliDUm fixed the deficit?" - Troglaman The Guttersnipe, proving he's a fool

You were told some time back Guttersnipe, and as usual, when shown harsh reality you instantaneously power-slammed your head up your ass.

You are indeed a retarded marmoset as well as a dishonest flaming jackass.

3:38 PM  
Anonymous Elrond Hubbard said...

More to the point Troggy is what are the Dumbocrats doing to fix the deficit? Answer: even less than the Rethuglicans.

Federal Deficit in 2000: $4 trillion.
Federal Deficit in 2008: $9 trillion.
[Bush upped the national debt by $5 trillion in eight years.]
Federal Deficit in 2011: $14 trillion,
[Obama upped the national debt by another $5 trillion in three years!]

So who's worse? Obama or Bush? The answer is Obama because he's spending even more recklessly than Bush. Who's the big loser? The United States. Bush and Obama have managed to increase the federal deficit by 350% in eleven years.

Our grandchildren will not thank us. Per the CBO my grand daughter [born 12/21/10] started her life owing $29,000, by 2020 she'll owe $50,000, by 2023 she'll owe $58,971. And so on.

What was the last war won by the Republicans? The Gulf War. What was the last war won by the Dumbocrats? Korea? No. Vietnam? No. Iraq? Afghanistan? Libya?
No, no and no.

5:44 PM  
Anonymous troglaman said...

When's the last time a Republican reduced the deficit?


1:01 AM  
Anonymous Jerome Goolsby said...

" troglaman (continuing to declare himself to be a retarded marmoset troll) said...

When's the last time a Republican reduced the deficit?


Like I said, Guttersnipe, you been told the answer to that several times. And because you can't deal with reality, you responded by instantaneously power-slamming your head repeatedly up your ass.

1:54 AM  
Anonymous Elrond Hubbard said...

So what is the current Democrat doing to reduce the deficit?

that's right, nothing., zip, nada, bupkis.

Prove me wrong.

1:08 PM  
Anonymous troglaman said...

"So what is the current Democrat doing to reduce the deficit?" elrond

You didn't answer my question. But I will...again. Not one Republican has reduced the deficit since Ford. In fact, EVERY REPUBLIDUM since then HAS RAISED THE DEFICIT.

Got that?

The new health care reform will reduce the deficit. Letting the Bush tax cuts expire will reduce the deficit. Drawing down in Iraq will reduce the deficit. Drawing down in Afghanistan will reduce the deficit. Deciding to not go after and prosecute medical marijuana users will reduce the deficit.

Obama's doing these things. What are you folks doing? Taking away collective bargaining rights? Passing psycho legislation concerning Sharai Law? Making sure women have to view an ultra-sound before they abort? Lowering taxes on the rich while making the rest of us make up the difference? Making sure creationism is taught in schools? Reducing Medicare to cutting coupons worth 25% off the next operation?

Has the Republican controlled congress passed even one law, one bill, geared at creating jobs?

Do you have even one candidate declared (or not) for president that stands a snowball's chance in hell of winning in the general election? Nope.

You dumbasses are in real trouble in my opinion. The inmates have taken over the asylum.

2:35 AM  
Anonymous Elrond Hubbard said...


All the "will reduces" you list can't disguise the fact that under Obama the federal deficit has increased by $5 trillion.

Let's review the recent Federal deficits:
2007 $167 billion
2008 $450 billion
2009 $1,480 billion
2010 $1,520 billion
2011 $1,680 billion

The rosy fiscal future you predict is strictly Democrap boiler plate.

So long as there are no structural reforms to Social Security, Medicare, Medicaid and Obamacare the defict will eventually grow to a catastropic size.

But one thing you are right about is the failure of Rethuglicans to forward a viable candidate for President.

1:11 PM  
Anonymous troglaman said...

Bush never put the wars on the books, elrond. And I've never painted a rosy fiscal future.

You've been paying for Social Security and Medicare. They're not entitlements. Look at your last paystub. You want to give all that money you've paid for years and years away? Good for you. Want to give it up so the rich can get a tax break? Fine.

I don't.

3:22 AM  
Anonymous Elrond Hubbard said...

"Bush never put the wars on the books"

And Obama, despite election promises, never ended them, in fact he added a third war (which gradually expanding despite his promise that it would be terminated in a "few days").

Anyway Obama's massive deficits aren't due to the wars.

BTW, many people collect SS without ever having contributed to it. But the real problem is the rapidly approaching express train of Baby Boomer retirees.

2:50 PM  

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