Friday, December 31, 2010

Attack of the LOUSY FREEPER TROLLS!!! Part II: The DUmmies

Paranoia strikes deep
Into your board they will freep . . .

And so another year winds to a close. For the DUmmies, this has been an annus horribilis (which sounds like a benburch medical condition, but really means a "horrible year"). Earlier in the year, a bitter blow: no single-payer HCR, as they were hoping, but instead ObamaCare, a boon for the insurance companies. Then a Recovery Summer that was more like a Recessionary Bummer. In October, a couple of prog rallies in DC--flopperoonies! Tsunami Tuesday in November--Grayson, Feingold, OUT, Rethuglican House, IN! Obama Tax Cuts for the Evil Rich in December. Ugh. Where's my bong pipe?

And through it all, on DUmmie thread after DUmmie thread, the nagging suspicion that the progressives were not alone. There was always this feeling that, well, OTHERS were hanging around, disrupting, distracting, dividing. We call them . . . LOUSY FREEPER TROLLS!!!

Yes, the DUmmies can never be sure that the poster they're talking to is a true-blue fellow traveler or just a LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!! I mean, so many of us teabaggers have secret identities over there, whether to stir things up or simply to maintain entrance privileges in the event of a lockdown. There are MANY of us freepers who have infiltrated, but the DUmmies don't know HOW many or WHO. So it always weighs on their collective mind (such as it is), just a little bit.

The DUmmies have picked up on the KOmmieland thread we DUFUed here yesterday, about paid trolls manipulating the media. And they have made it their own, in this
THREAD, using the same title as the KOmmies, "EXPOSED: Astroturfed Teabaggers PAID TO TROLL liberals online to enforce corporate propaganda." But the added bonus in this thread is that the DUmmies spend more time discussing the "undocumented lurkers" in their midst. And with good reason! Hee! Hee!

And so we journey from KOmmieland to DUmmieland for Part II of . . . Attack of the LOUSY FREEPER TROLLS!!! The paranoid postings are in Thread-Level Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, who does have a DU secret identity but is more concerned about his altar-ego than his alter-ego, is in the [brackets]:

Name removed. Deleted sub-thread. Sub-thread removed by moderator.

[First reply, right out of the box. The mods are nervous.]

Stumbled into the Yahoo cesspool recently. I couldn't believe the hate - hate - hate posted there. It terrified me to think I share the earth with people like that.

[I HATE them!]

Wow - RepubliCorp's paid SuckerPuppet TeaBaggers. Why do RepubliBaggers HATE integrity, honesty, decency, and honor?

[Simple. It's our job.]

Republiskanks looking for Corporate Johns to shill and thrill

[I found my thrill . . . by being a shill . . .]

It goes on right here, and it's easy to spot the bullsh*t talking point spouters.

[That'd be just about everybody, wouldn't it? Oh, wait! You're talking about the MOLES!]

Name removed. Deleted sub-thread. Sub-thread removed by moderator.

[Mods on High Alert. Whack-a-mole season.]

They are here as well.

[They are among us!]

They even disguise themselves as liberals. . . .

[My gray ponytail is just a hair extension, and my "nose piercing" is a clip-on.]

What is interesting is watching the number of people here who constantly scream about how horrible this president is, how he is SUCH a disappointment, who give him credit for absolutely nothing, and state over and over and over again how there are no differences between the Dems and Repubs pretend that it's OTHER posters that are the right wing trolls.

[Hmm, it sounds like you are CONCERNED about this. Clever way to plant these seeds of doubt, Mr. CONCERN TROLL!! Prepare for tombstoning!]

Thing is, the ones here really think they are fooling people.

[Like YOU, DUmmie "Bonhomme Richard," if that is your real name! Oh so clever, aren't you, thinking you can fool people by posting a comment about fooling people! We see through your ploy! And "1000+ posts," just to try this?? Prepare for tombstoning!]

This post is racist. Alert. Dupe. Alert. Encourages third parties. Alert. Broad brush attack on our troops. Alert. Continuation of a thread already locked. Alert. Personal attack. Alert. Threatens violent revolt against the government. Alert. Copyright violation. Alert. More appropriate in another forum. Alert. This should be addressed to the administrators, not posted in GD. Alert.

[The stress is getting to them! Mental health professionals are being air-lifted into DUmmieland as we speak!]

Too bad it would break the rules, cause I think we could probably name a few who get paid to troll here.

[Oh, go ahead! What the heck, name names!]

Bet the farm that they wont be posting in this thread. Of course they might, now that I said that.

[Gotcha thinkin', don't we? BWAHAHAHAHA!!]

Paid posters are here for message control and disruption of actual conversation. If the admins know a poster is paid, they should be banned.

[Better yet, keep 'em and tax 'em! "Revenue stream." Am I saying anything?]

I suspect a couple of folks troll for the Democratic Party, and I suspect they are paid. I put one of them on ignore. Every thread in which that poster posted was ruined by party-line propaganda.

[Imagine that: The Democrat Party having to use paid trolls on a DEMOCRAT message board!]

the far right sorts usually get spotted and yanked in twenty posts or less.

[You think so, huh? Twenty posts or less? HAHAHAHAHA!!]

Name removed. Deleted message. Message removed by moderator.

[NOW look what you made the mods do! And THAT was a real DUmmie!]

Man, I had no idea one of the posters you listed was a troll. Scary.

[So scary the LISTER was deleted!]

Name removed. Deleted message. Message removed by moderator.

[Mods in PANIC MODE now!!]

we need a viper pit where everyone can be their nasty little selves. . . .

[How about a William Pitt?]

and we need real moderation on the rest of the site. playing pattycake with nursery school rules is just asking to be overrun.

[DUmmieland is falling down, falling down, falling down. . . .]

DU has it's fair share of paid posters. Anyone who denies it is lying or an idiot.

[Hard to tell, what with all the regular liars and idiots in the joint.]

The co-founder and co-author of a book with Kos of Daily Kos was convicted of being a paid poster on a stock market site.

[Would that be Markos Mousetits's pal Unknown Jerome?]

It is a shame. We know who they are, yet just pointing out the obvious could get us banned. The admins accept or tolerate obvious paid posters, they should be open about it, and let the conversation be had about who is paying whom. I consider paid posters to be trolls, but clearly the admins do not. I just wish they would be more transparent about it and say something like, "Paid posters are not considered trolls. . . ."

[People who call out the admins are considered TOMBSTONED! Buh-bye!]

Name removed. Deleted message. Message removed by moderator.

[And so it goes.]

So why don't we do the same in return?

[Asked newbie DUmmie gejohnston.]

Because we're honest, we don't have tax-exempt 501cs funding us, and we can't agree on a goddamned thing. You're off to a winning start on your second post. Hmmm...

[Make that a flying STOP! G.E. brings good things to the graveyard!]

I tried that in freeperland and was banned after my first post. seems I wasn't too subtle.

[Leading off with, "I am a socialist, here to disrupt your threads," may not have been the best move.]

I think many of them aren't democrats at all and are just here to try to divide our focus and energy. . . .

[Ya think?]

Name removed. Deleted message. Message removed by moderator.


I call these the "not real people" at DU.

[I call DU the Not-Reality-Based Community™.]

such a hoot when they make that final post that wins them a pizza.

[Hootie and the Blownfish.]



There are loads of political and corporate shills here on DU.

[And some wannabe shills that nobody will hire, like Will the Shill.]

I guess the monsters are due on Democratic Underground.

[The monsters are DU!]

I'm sure there are plenty who do it for free. Drones who simply regurgitate everything Mr. Murdoch tells them and think they're standing up to the liberal elite.

[Second-degree Murdoch.]

That says a whole lot about conservative/fundamentalist ideology. . . . May they rot in hell for causing such suffering in this world.

[Unlike those of us with the Peace, Love, and Tolerance® ideology.]

Name removed. Deleted message. Message removed by moderator.

[Where have I seen this before?]

They get TRAINING? Wow, the "Flying Monkey Right" isn't just a saying. They really ARE Flying Monkeys.

[Oh-Ee-Oh! Ee-Oh-Ah! . . .]

anyone else noticing some regular posters conspicuously missing from this thread?

[Everyone not posting on this thread is a LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!! Ban them all! Send their sorry @$$es into Never-Never Land!!]

I can believe that they are on the payroll but who is managing this massive program?

[Skinner. This thing goes right to the top.]

So, what can we DO about it?

[Turn in your fellow DUmmie. Report what you suspect. Trust no one. Live in fear. Snitch like mad. Check under your bed.]

Name removed. Deleted message. Message removed by moderator.

[Mission accomplished!]


[Locked and loaded--with laffs! Thanx, DUmmies, for yet another year of ENDLESS ENTERTAINMENT, from all of us here at DUmmie FUnnies!]


Anonymous Anonymous said...

[Skinner. This thing goes right to the top.]

ROFL! So true, it's a massive conspiracy by DU management. They actually pay Lousy Freeper Trolls to post at DU, using the money they manipulate y'all into giving them.

11:03 AM  
Blogger Angie said...

"my "nose piercing" is a clip-on"

Freaking brilliant, that right there is.

8:02 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

DU has it's fair share of paid posters. Anyone who denies it is lying or an idiot.

[Hard to tell, what with all the regular liars and idiots in the joint.]

ROFLOL Sometimes they just make it to easy for you.

Does anyone know where I can sign up to be a paid Troll? I'm serious. I want to get paid to screw with these idiots.....wait what's this part?

The co-founder and co-author of a book with Kos of Daily Kos was convicted of being a paid poster on a stock market site.

[Would that be Markos Mousetits's pal Unknown Jerome?]

Getting paid to type is a crime?
I'm going to have to look into that.

I'm still not convinced that PJ isn't Pitt, who else gets all of their hopes up so high and then crushes them. Count it! If I'm wrong I'll shove.....oh never mind I don't need anything shoved in me.

Johnny 5 is alive

1:01 AM  
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