Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Solstice plus Eclipse bigger deal to Moonbats than the "C" word



Oh, what an exciting week this is! Because we're almost to (forgive the expression) Christmas, you say? Bah! Humbug! Don't say the "C" word! No, the big deal in DUmmieland this week is the Winter Solstice! PLUS a lunar eclipse on top of it! MUCH bigger deal than the birth of the Savior of the world!

This is further proof of my long-held thesis that the primary factor motivating the DUmmies is their burning HATRED of Christianity! So anything that is seen as an ALTERNATIVE to Christianity is widely hailed. Thus the celebration of the Winter Solstice, as a paean to paganism. Why, did you know that DUmmieland even has forums dedicated to an
Ancient Wisdom and Pagan Spirituality Group and an Astrology, Spirituality & Alternative Healing Group? And they think *Christianity* is goofy??

'Tis the season to be looney! We'll be sampling from many threads, too many to link to individually. The DUmmie Druid droppings are in Retro-Religion Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, who believes in keeping both the "Christ" and the "Mass" in "Christmas," is in the [brackets]:

Happy Solstice Everyone!

Solstice blessings!


[Heaven to DUmmie: Orbits cannot bless you. The One who set the planets in orbit can.]

The power of the 12/21 Lunar eclipse will be released on Xmas Day

[The power of Xmas Day is in the "X," which is the Greek "Ch," and that stands for "Chri"--whoops, almost said the unmentionable word!]

As the powerful Lunar Eclipse of 12/21 Solstice happens at 29 Gemini, it will launch its potential to be realized as the Sun moves forward and releases its energy on Christmas Day because the Sun will then be 1 degree (in trigger position) from transiting Pluto, at 4 and 5 Capricorn respectively.

[I think Pluto is about to align with Uranus.]

eek! I have an appointment on the 21st at a mental health clinic to be evaluated. . . I will take this as a good omen. . . .

[I'll evaluate you for no charge: If you think the position of Pluto means anything, you're NUTS!]

So, the eclipse's energies are to be released on probably the most stressful days of dysfunctional family gatherings... and I am scheduled to be at my MIL's who (she and her dh) are militant R's of the tea party persuasion. . . . My dh is on a short fuse as he is not feeling well, over-tired from working nights and is a Union Man. My 18 y/o son is proud to be a member of the National Socialist Party. I think I'm just going to drink a lot of alcohol, laugh insensibly at everything no matter how inappropriate, allow my MIL to insult me and call me a drunk like my father and pass out early.

[The healing power of Solstice Eclipse: Bringing families together since 1554.]

Did you know that the Winter solstice and lunar eclipse coincide for the first time in 456 yrs. . . ?

Great, I missed it last time.


[Hee! Hee! Good one!]

The monks of old China would fast for three days on plum wine taking a small drink every four hours with a large glass of water. . . . During the time of the solstice the monks would tap on refectory tables in the dining hall non-stop for 72 hours. . . . The fast and the tapping puts you in a mild trance and often you’ll see celestial visions. . . .

[I bet.]

You might consider tapping with your friends. . . . tap between three and four a.m. . . . the black fractal tubes that are sent out by people’s darkness are fairly dormant.

[OK, will do! I'm going to call all my friends and tell them to TAP at 3:00 a.m.! Tap for world peace! Let's overpower those black fractal tubes!]

Winter Solstice + Lunar Eclipse

[A Perfect Storm of Stupidity!]

I just wanted to wish all my Pagan friends here a blessed Solstice...

[And all you Christians? Well, you wouldn't be on DU anyways!]

Mother Earth, cradle us to your breast and sustain us. . . . Father Sky, watch over our safety and guide us to act honorably.

[Uncle Wind, blow on us and clear our driveways.]

So burn the log and watch the shadows on our longest night. . . .

[Cousin Log, DIE in the flames of Brother Fire!]

Solstice is the true Reason for the Season.

["For behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you is born this day a Season, which is Winter." Mmmm, kinda loses something. . . .]

I'm a Bi...both Pagan n Heathen.....

[The worst of both worlds!]

I generally don't use totems (unless you consider a fire a totem) or dance unless there's a really good drummer, but I do lie naked on the ground to gather the energies I perceive. . . .

[And to sleep off the drunk.]

Please, no spoilers about the solstice eclipse

[SPOILER ALERT: Sun setting early, turning mostly dark toward evening. The moon will go away for a while. Then it will come back. Sun will rise in the east in the morning.]

Solstice eclipse? Thanks a lot, you f***ing blabbermouth.

[Dang! You spoiled the big surprise!]

hooray night are gonna get shorter thank Gaia

[Gaia rest ye merry pagans. . .]

I believe in signs.

[Look for the sign that says "MENTAL HOSPITAL, STRAIGHT AHEAD."]

I believe this total lunar eclipse is a sign. To interpret the sign is for someone more intelligent than I.

[Which would be, well, just about anybody!]

Summer is on the way!

By a few seconds a day of extra light. Whoopie-f***ing-doo.


[The Grinch who stole Solstice.]

Gerbils also get the winter blues

[benburch checks in. . . .]

I've already had two major self-realizations since the eclipse. Amazing! They were both heavy.

[1) The moon came back again. 2) I'm still a DUmmie.]

18 Comments:

Anonymous Corona said...

Com'on Charles. Let's you and me do the 3am tap. Heh.

Capricorn 5. I've heard of that before. Was some junky movie, wasn't it?

6:22 PM  
Blogger Dandapani said...

Hmmm. I'm sensing some hostility toward non-Christians here. Kind of reflects what you are mocking, don't you think? Hindus don't loathe Christians, but I'm starting to feel a bit unwelcome. Aum.

9:26 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hahaha! What a bunch of tards!

10:27 PM  
Anonymous troglaman said...

"Solstice plus Eclipse bigger deal to Moonbats than the "C" word". PJinc

"The 'C' word", which is somehow OBVIOUSLY a reference to 'Christmas' according to PJinc.

First of all, have any of you EVER heard of Christmas being described as "the 'C' word"? I, troglaman, doubt it (and I have no doubt each and every one of you know just what "the 'C' word" is).

So if you've never heard of "the 'C' word" associated with meaning 'Christmas', then...

YOU'VE HEARD IT HERE FIRST!!!

Cunt means Christmas...

Brilliant.

12:22 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"I do lie naked on the ground to gather the energies I perceive. . . "

Brrrrrrr! All this dancing naked in the moonlight just doesn't sound appealing when it's 28 degrees out. I'm not sure those are "celestial visions" people are getting. Might be early signs of hypothermia.

9:46 AM  
Blogger Tazzerman said...

Trog you're an asshole. Sheesh

"I've already had two major self-realizations since the eclipse. Amazing! They were both heavy."

Boy I'd LOVE to hear what these 'self-realizations" where. Sounds to me like a couple of bowel movements.

10:51 AM  
Anonymous Shambhala said...

Dandapani said..

Oh, get over yourself.
I'm Buddhist, and find the DU nonsense amusing. So the Christians have fun with the pseudo-pagans. So what?

12:38 PM  
Anonymous Clone of Troglaman said...

I are Troglaman. Me am brilliant.

Me use gutter language to insult God and Christmas because I are smart.

You am stupid to not see me am brilliant.

I are Troglaman. Me am brilliant.

3:01 PM  
Anonymous krazy kat said...

"eek! I have an appointment on the 21st at a mental health clinic to be evaluated."

How did that work out for you troglaman? Lithium or shock therapy?

4:21 PM  
Anonymous Adam said...

Somewhat long post ahead, as I'll be addressing a few different points.
Dandapani,
1. I have yet to see us saying anything critical of Hindus, so I don't know why you'd feel uncomfortable.
2. Much of this is pointing out the hypocrisy in that the same DUmmies who portray all Christians as brainless, superstitious hillbillies disconnected with reality will then themselves indulge in such ridiculous nonsense as astrology and view it as a legitimate and enlightening belief system.
3. Furthermore, the DUmmies are generally ignoramuses who don't really know what they are talking about when it comes to such belief systems and superstitions, they just think it makes them look cool and enlightened to be into such things. They are similar to those idiots in Arizona last year who tried to do a Native- American sweat lodge during a New Age desert meditation retreat, but out of stupidity botched the ceremony so completely that two people died and 19 were hospitalized.
Oh, and I KNEW troggy would be coming here to troll this thread. Any opportunity to troll and spew hatred and obscenities in a topic relating to the Christian faith is too tempting for him to resist.
"First of all, have any of you EVER heard of Christmas being described as "the 'C' word"? I, troglaman, doubt it"
You are apparently unfamiliar with a funny little practice called "Sarcasm." PJ was making fun of the fact that many DUmmies so thoroughly despise Christmas (Actually, the Christian faith as a whole, but especially Christmas) that they won't even mention/ acknowledge it unless they absolutely have to, and even then some like one of the DUmmies listed here take the easy way out by calling it X- Mas (Anything to avoid mentioning that horrible Jesus fellow).
btw, I noticed one of the DUmmies claimed that Christmastime marked "The most stressful days of dysfunctional family gatherings." I was always under the impression that it was Thanksgiving, not Christmas, which held that distinction.

Oh, and just one more thing: I personally disagree with the assertion that the primary factor motivating the DUmmies is their hatred of Christianity. ALthough their hatred of Christianity is quite apparent and is one of their more prominent motivating factors, I don't think it is their primary one. Rather, I think the primary motivating factor of the DUmmies is their burning hatred of conservative Americans. I think their hatred of Christianity and many of their other obsessions all stem from this.

4:41 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm not sure if the DUmmies really hate conservatives or if they just really love to hate. Seems like they hate capitalism, rich people, war, banks, Christmas, each other, without too much thought about what they are hating. It's just having something to hate that seems to be the most important.

5:42 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Merry Christmas DUmmie FUnnies and readers!!!

Everyone has to believe in something. Even Atheist's wind up forming groups to get together in and worship not worshiping. Which has always struck me as odd.

I need to wish as many people as possible Merry Christmas I didn't realize it was like holy water to a vampire. I could inadvertently cause one of their heads to explode.

SO MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!

Johnny 5 is alive

7:13 PM  
Anonymous Jerome Goolsby said...

Fueled by hate, TROGLAMAN the Guttersnipe power-slammed his head up his ass like a jackhammer and emitted his most disgusting pile of mental excrement to date in his disgusting existance...

Congratulations, Guttersnipe - you are officially the biggest jackass on the World Wide Web for December 22, 2010.

Enjoy Hell when you get there, you've more than earned the trip.

7:17 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

If all conservatives disappeared from Earth tomorrow, DUmmies would be dining upon each other within minutes.

10:39 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's Funny that the DUmmies consider a total eclipse of the moon and the solstice falling within a few days of each other to be significant.

Sure, such eclipses are rare; the last one occurred in 2007, out here on the left coast.

10:29 PM  
Anonymous troglaman said...

"Me use gutter language to insult God and Christmas because I are smart." The Mighty Trog's Clone

No, mighty-trog-clone. Me, trog, use super smart gutter language "to insult" you. YOU. Not God. Not Christmas.

Me trog. You dumbass.

12:38 AM  
Anonymous troglaman said...

"2. Much of this is pointing out the hypocrisy in that the same DUmmies who portray all Christians as brainless, superstitious hillbillies disconnected with reality will then themselves indulge in such ridiculous nonsense as astrology and view it as a legitimate and enlightening belief system." adam

Is Adam saying that Christians don't believe in horoscopes?

Adam's full of shit. Not only do Christians believe in horoscopes, they also believe they can dance with rattle-snakes and not get bit. They believe in ghosts. They believe in UFO's. They believe in crop circles. They believe in possession. They believe man lived with dinosaurs. Christians believe all kinds of crazy shit.

Nothing in #2 is true, adam. Not one word. Anyone with a brain stopped reading then and dismissed you as a blowhard...which you are, by the way.

1:24 AM  
Anonymous Adam said...

Ah, and Trog is back for more anti- Christian hate- mongering, littered with ignorance, obscenities, and moronic "Arguments" formed entirely upon baseless stereotypes.
1. "Is Adam saying that Christians don't believe in horoscopes?"
Some do, but most do not, largely due to the Bible prohibiting astrology and similar superstitions.
2. "...they also believe they can dance with rattle-snakes and not get bit."
Ah, and the first of many hateful and baseless stereotypes in one Troggy rant. Only the fringe churches practice that, it is pretty much unheard of in mainstream Christian churches.
3. "They believe in ghosts."
This has something of a base to it, but not really. We do believe in life after death, but not in the sense you are claiming.
4. "They believe in UFO's. They believe in crop circles."
Um, no, we don't. UFOs and crop circles are nowhere in the Bible. Just another ignorant stereotype you pulled out of your butt.
5. "They believe in possession."
At times (And I've known people, perfectly sane and rational people, who have seen it), but it is incredibly rare. btw, most religions believe in possession.
6. " They believe man lived with dinosaurs."
Nope. Again, that is only the slightest fringe who believes that.
"Christians believe all kinds of crazy shit."
Of course you feel that way, considering you are an anti- Christian bigot whose supposed knowledge of what CHristians are like and what they beleive is based entirely upon stereotypes put out by other equally ignorant anti- Christian bigots.
"Nothing in #2 is true, adam."
Yes, it is. It has been well- documented in the past that the DUmmies frequently portray Christians as brainless rednecks out of touch with reality (Usually in ways similar to yours, by just heaping on stereotypes without bothering to offer any proof), yet that they also gladly adhere to ludicrous astrological/ New Age garbage which is 100 times more out of touch with reality, and portray those beliefs as wonderful and enlightening.
" Anyone with a brain stopped reading then and dismissed you as a blowhard...which you are, by the way."
I honestly can't say I care what an ignorant, bigoted, obscene, hate- mongering guttersnipe like you has to say about me.

5:06 PM  

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