"If Aliens Were to Land, What would You Do?"
If Aliens Were to Land, What would You Do?
[Remove my Obama bumper sticker?]
Take up arms?
[Justice Breyer channeled James Madison and imagined that you DON'T have that right.]
Run and hide?
[In Ben Burch's rear cave?]
Get down on your knees and beg for mercy?
[Too late. Intergalactic forces have determined that all DUmmies in the universe MUST be wiped out.]
I welcome them to Earth then ask them to ZAP conservatives with their DEATH RAY!
[Until that time just have the FCC ZAP conservatives off the airwaves...and now from the internet.]
What if In their eyes, we are all too conservative?
[Invasion of the Bolshevik Aliens!!!]
If they turn out to be benevolent, I would ask them
1. what was up with all the cat and mouse over the years?
2. Do you have a "God"?
3. Why does everything exist? (maybe answered by #2)
[4. Is there life after birth?]
Make sure my ass is well-lubricated so their anal probes won't hurt so much.
[That MUST be Ben Burch.]
Apologize for the mess, and warn them about religious nuts who may feel compelled to attack, simply because they are so f*cking ignorant and faith based.
[And of course those religious nuts you are referring to are NOT Muslims who are really causing the problems.]
Wet my pants.
[Depends...on their intentions.]
Thank whatever deity deemed deserving for the chance that help to put down the PTB has arrived!
[Go for Goddess Gaia!]
They already did and I sang like a canary. Sold out the entire human race.
[LOL! You get credit for an INTENTIONALLY FUnnie line.]
... I would likely shit myself.
[But only AFTER wetting your pants. Proper etiquette must be observed.]
"Take me with you!"
[Sorry. Your spot on the spaceship has already been taken by Roy Neary.]
beg them to remove me from this shithole.
[No problem. They will gladly relocate you to North Korea.]
See what Michael Rennie had to say...then take it from there.
["Klatu DUmmie Nikto."]
Wonder how long it will take for their viruses to wipe us out.
[The reverse happened in "War of the Worlds."]
what if they turned out to be famous alien porn stars looking for some seriously strange?
[Then direct them to Ron "Hedgehog" Jeremy.]