Thursday, September 17, 2009

William Rivers Pitt On Obama: "He Blew It"

Remember William Rivers Pitt proclaiming He Parked It about Obama's ObamaCare speech last week? Please toss that down the memory hole. What has inevitably happened with most of Pitt's pompous pronouncements is that he has done a complete 180 as you can see in this THREAD, "Back to the Health Care Drawing Board." The new operative phrase is "He Blew It" and we will get to the full money quote later in this DUFU edition. However, is anyone here really surprised? One of the things that Pitt is most famous for is his perpetual self-contradiction. Want Pitt to change his mind? Then just wait a minute. And usually it is not just a slight change of opinion. It is a complete 180 shift as in this case. This makes one wonder. Does Pitt even keep track of his own writings such as last week's self sure brief proclamation of "He Parked It." And will Will apologize to the DUmmies he flamed last week? So let us now watch the Pied Piper completely shift directions yet again in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, noting that the only thing consistent about Pitt is his utter inconsistency, is in the [barackets]:

Back to the Health Care Drawing Board

[Back to Pitt's "He Parked It" Drawing Board.]

Give some credit to Democratic Sen. Max Baucus of Montana, who unveiled his $774 billion health care reform bill on Wednesday, for being true to his word about wanting to craft a centrist, compromise piece of legislation. That's exactly what he did, and after revealing his bill, that's exactly where Baucus put us: in the middle of the road, right where all the squashed roadkill can be found lying on top of a long, yellow stripe.

[See that squashed roadkill? It is lying in the middle of the road right next to Pitt's credibility.]

It's a nonsense bill, to be blunt, tossed like a hand grenade into a debate already raddled with nonsense as it is. The far right Teabagger brigades want you to believe this reform effort will remake America into a socialist disaster zone where killing grandma is mandatory but insuring undocumented immigrants is only required. Thanks to the unutterably compromised mainstream (read: corporate) media's relentless pursuit of "equal time," each and every one of these shamelessly incorrect and morally bereft accusations have been provided with exactly 100 percent more air time than they deserve. The result has completely polluted the national debate on health care reform.

[The perpetrator of Fitzmas Fraud is lecturing the media on journalistic ethics. Stand by now for a harsh criticism of the one about whom last week's Pitt proclaimed "He Parked It."]

Now comes Baucus and his mixed bag of centrist, half-a-loaf goop, which was brought into being for three sad reasons:

[Try not to drink while reading Reason #1 or risk drenching your computer monitor.]

1) President Obama all but disappeared from the debate over his own health care reform for weeks, which allowed the inmates to take over the asylum. This was a failure on the part of the administration that could have lasting, catastrophic repercussions for the White House

[So much for "He Parked It." No longer operative.]

2) In far too many instances, Democrats in the Senate are made up of what Richard Nixon would have described as "first-rate second-rate men," timorous, still somehow frightened by their GOP cohorts despite the Democrats' dominating majority, and totally unwilling to do anything that might annoy anyone, anywhere, ever, and

[3) ...Too busy laughing at Pitt's complete reversals.]

3) An obsession with making health care reform a bipartisan process, which is the specific genesis of Baucus's bill.

[The Baucus bill is bipartisan. Both Democrats and Republicans hate it but that was the bill being pushed last week by Mr. "He Parked It."]

...No "public option" to balance the playing field and offer real health care alternatives to people who cannot afford insurance under this plan. Not even a "trigger" to activate some form of public option down the line if circumstances warrant. A pile of other important aspects that are critical to creating actual, workable, legitimate health care reform have likewise been excised by Baucus and his yellow-striped legislation proposal.

[The one whom you stabbed in the back predicted that Public Option is DOOMED.]


[Standby for the money quote!]

Because the president blew it by checking out of the debate he started.

[Pitt just tossed "He Parked It" under the bus.]

Because too many Democrats in the Senate would fold in half if they weren't propped up by aides and staffers due their absolute lack of spine.

[That sounds like Pitt's condition when he leaves Bukowski's: Propped up.]

Because all these Democrats continue to cling to this mind-boggling desire to be bipartisan when it comes to crafting this reform legislation.

[Meanwhile Pitt continues to cling to this mind-boggling desire to be consistent. Pitt continues to go on and on pontificating on a subject about which he is completely ignorant since he once posted a comment that he is completely clueless when it comes to economics. There is also no need to go to the few DUmmie observations since the bulk of the humor has already been provided by Mr. Consistency. Just remember these two Pitt proclamations:]

[Pitt 09-09-09: "He Parked It."
Pitt 09-17-09: "He Blew It."]

And, finally, the Pitt inconsistency theme song, "Self-Recanted Evening" sung to the tune of "Some Enchanted Evening" written by Charles Henrickson:

Self-recanted evening,
When you see the flip-flops,
You may see where Pitt stops
Across the DUmmieland.
And somehow you know,
You know even then,
That sometime you'll see him

Recant once again.

Self-aggrandized weaving,
Bloviating windbag,
Going where the wind blows,
Not knowing where to stand.
He'll write to the left--
That's left to go right--
Will's so busy dancing,
He can't sleep at night.

Who can explain Pitt?
Who can tell you why?
Will gives two versions,
Neither one can fly.

Some fantastic FReeping!
Someone may be laughing,
You may hear the laughing
Among the DUFU fans.
And night after night,
When we go to bed,
That sound is our laughter--
Will Pitt's in our thread!

Once we have DUFUed
Will Pitt's swing and miss,
Then he'll discover
He can't recant this!


Anonymous DumbAss Tanker said...

It does have to be a bipartisan bill, but not the way he means. The two parties that have to agree are the Blue Dog Democrats and the kids that were too far left for the Komsomol and Young Pioneers on the opposite side of the Democrat spectrum. Two totally different parties, even if both are nominally Democrats.

7:01 PM  
Blogger GeronL said...

The President has never actually shown anyone his "healthcare bill" because I don't think he actually had one.

1:35 AM  
Anonymous Anon 1:50 said...

One of the biggest signs of the death of this healthcare fiasco is unrolling even as I type this:

"Obama unleashes secret weapon on health care: Michelle".

That's right! Because she is universally loved and admired, B-HO is going to toss her into the fray.

Here are a few laugh-riot sentences from this article:

'First Lady Michelle Obama...will lead a charm offensive at a series of events to win over swing voters...-Politico."

-I'll grant her the 'offensive'-tag. Charm? Not so much.

"...I think she has taken her time in earning the public’s trust..."

-Um, in a word, "no". She has been muzzled, chained up in the back yard and draped with small children, gardening and such because she is a really crabby and uncool person. I don't 'trust' her any further than I can comfortably spit a live rat.

And the real zinger:

"“Health care is a woman’s issue, and Michelle Obama definitely brings that as a mom, as a working woman and as a former hospital administrator. But it doesn’t seem like a power grab.”

-Nooo. Not much.

An astute commenter writes:

"Does that mean she won’t be promoting her patient dumping scheme?" Submitted by BB on September 18, 2009 - 10:17am.

Attaboy (or girl) BB!

What can I say but, Good Luck,, Michelle! First ladies weighing in above their pay grades is ALWAYS such a winning move!

Take that Clinton Healthcare business. That worked out perfectly!

For Republicans.

11:46 AM  
Anonymous Shambhala said...

-I'll grant her the 'offensive'-tag. Charm? Not so much.

Didnt these jackasses learn from "Hillarycare"? An unelected bimbo has NOTHING to say about policy.

Yeah. It's above their gay parade ... ooops! Pay grade.

Damn. It must be my "Inner Homo".

12:31 PM  
Blogger JorgXMcKie said...

How desperate do they have to be to let that acrimonious hag out of the bag?

Perhaps she'll unleash her Klingon tactics.

4:58 PM  
Anonymous susieq2cute said...

I just love the white house's logic in using michelle to push a failing health care policy. That's like using Paris Hilton to push abstinence.

6:31 PM  
Anonymous Jerome Goolsby said...

Good one SusieQ

11:18 PM  
Anonymous Anon 1:50 said...

Second that, SusieQ!

Hey! Waitaminnit!

An entire thread without racist commentary or profanity? Some pointy snark, I'll grant you, but...really?

Is Trogelman sick? I feel unfulfilled if I cannot engender feelings of vile crapulence and bilious outpourings!

It makes me happy.

2:57 PM  
Anonymous susieq2cute said...

Tman sick? We all know the answer to that....sick in the head. But, I'm sure you mean "is he ailing?" Not to worry, you will be fulfilled when tman comes down on our heads with his vile crapulence and bilious outpourings. He has an opinion on everything and knowledge of nothing.

But, you're right, Anon 1:50, it makes me happy, too.

8:41 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

PJ, there's got to be at least one thread about ACORN replete with DUmmie and KOmmie heads-a-poppin!

Can we see? Can we, can we, huh?

11:22 PM  
Anonymous Corona said...

Please start a new topic, seeing Pitt and that gross stomach is painful.

12:28 PM  
Anonymous troglaman said...

"Damn. It must be my "Inner Homo". sham

No sham, it wasn't. But you're a newbie to the many inner voices we all share, including your complicated inner homo. As you know I, troglaman, have had extensive experience in dealing with my inner homo. And I can tell you this,'re not dealin with your inner homo, you're dealin with your inner tree-stump. It's sometimes hard (especially when the inner tree-stump is in control) to tell the difference.

12:21 AM  
Anonymous troglaman said...

The above was another example of the mighty troglaman's "vile crapulence and bilious outpourings."

Bilious. Love that word. Why, you ask? Bile's funny. Isn't it? OK, maybe not.

How about 'vile'? Rhymes with 'bile'. That's funny in itself, isn't it? Vile bile? Of course not! Bile IS vile, as anyone experienced in the fine art of dry-heaves knows.

Can we go down to the basement now, mommy?

(Disclaimer - I was drunk when I wrote this)

12:47 AM  
Anonymous susieq2cute said...

That makes a difference, how?

5:28 AM  
Anonymous susieq2cute said...

Gee, tman, that disclaimer came out of nowhere. We always assume you're drunk.

5:30 AM  
Anonymous Jerome Goolsby said...

You took the words right out of my mouth SusieQ...if Guttersnipe isn't drunk, then you have to assume he's an evil comtemptable waste of human DNA, and I'm not quite ready to do that yet. The better angels of my nature would rather conclude he just replaces intelligence with huge intakes of Jim Beam and Jack Daniels and let it go at that.

11:12 AM  
Anonymous susieq2cute said...

I don't know JG. After being slimed by him and called every ugly name under the sun, I always assume he's an evil contemptable waste of human DNA, drunk or sober.

3:59 PM  
Anonymous Elrond Hubbard said...

(Disclaimer. I was drunk when I wrote this.)

Actually, you make more sense inebriated than sober.

4:43 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well, if there's anyone who knows how to park it and blow, I would place the Pittster near the top of the list along with Dear Leader (BHO). And being spineless to the DUmmies is any Dem unwilling to march in lockstep. They are authoritarians.


9:16 PM  
Anonymous troglaman said...

"Actually, you make more sense inebriated than sober." elrond

I think so too!!! That's why I drink so much. And it's more fun. Especially if one's drinking monk beer. There's a certain irony there.

By the way, the inner tree stump is a motherfucker. I'd much rather deal the inner homo than the inner tree stump which is what you poor donkeys deal with on a daily basis. It must be a living hell.

12:17 AM  
Anonymous troglaman said...

"They are authoritarians." USA4ME

Now there's an interesting statement.

Authoritarians. Soooo fucking scary even if they're a figment of your imagination. Here's a troglamatic clue: If you don't see them as authoritarians, they're not.

But you, U$A4ME ("They are authoritarians") do see them just that way.

That's your fucking problem, pussy.

Authority. Fuck. And you tea-bagger dumbshits think you understand Alinsky.

Not even close. You've got pussies like U$A4ME recognizing and succumbing to authority. Bone up. It doesn't work that way.

1:02 AM  
Anonymous DumbAss Tanker said...

Trog, if you were trying to debunk the idea of the authoritarian subtext of American Leftists with that post, you went deep into Epic Fail territory.

8:19 AM  

Post a Comment

<< Home