Monday, March 31, 2008

Skinner Sics His Lawyers On DUmmie Whistleblowers

It looks like Head DUmmie Skinner can't abide any criticism, especially if it concerns his financial shennanigans. I recently read some exposés over at Ben Burch's DEMOCRAT WARRIOR (Ben Burche's forum) in which a former DUmmie Moderator revealed financial shennanigans by Skinner, namely how he let his LLC registration lapse without informing the DUmmies which is apparently a big no-no. So worried was Skinner about this that he sicced his lawyers on the Democrat Warrior site and they were forced to take down the posts by the former DUmmie mod as a result. I first found out about this just a little while ago on the DUscovery Channel blog. Here is what was posted at the Discovery Channel in Red Alert Red:

Skinner Sics His Lawyers on DemocraticWarrior!

Yup, Skinner apparently sicked his ambulance chasers on DemocraticWarrior.

One poster who is quite familiar with Skinner's tactics nailed it in this thread: So Skinner cannot take criticism of his web site?

DUscoveryChannel readers: please help spread the word!

[May the DUmmie FUnnies readers also spread the word? And now we join Ben Burch in the Democrat Warrior shower room...]

So Skinner cannot take criticism of his web site?

[Remember, Ben Burch, just because I am quoting you in a friendly manner, it still doesn't mean I'm going to bend over and pick up a bar of soap in your presence...]

Isn't THAT Hilarious?

He bans anybody who tries to say anything he doesn't like on his site; That is his prerogative as it is his site.

[It's called "Tombstoning. Continue my little sexually amorphous friend...

But he then tries to throw legal weight around to force others not to talk about him elsewhere?

Slimey, Slimey, Slimey.

And extraordinarily anti-Democratic.

That action alone shows the world just what sort of creature David "Skinner" Allen is, and what sort of "Underground" his site has become.

[The UnDemocratic Underground. And now we hear from former DUmmie CorpGovActivist who previously PRAISED the DUmmie FUnnies for exposing Pied Piper Pitt....]

Skinner is going to have a class action on his hands, from all those who gave when DU LLC was not a viable business entity.

He wants to get litigious?

Fine. Game on.

[Just don't drag Temporary SockPuppet into it. He can get a whole bunch of Newton schoolgirls to swear as his character witness.]

However we a DW are not considered a part of the suit.

[Stated BigJerr nervously.]

Nope. Only those who gave during the class action period, when Skinner was running DU LLC after its registration was revoked.

[Countered CorpGovActivist. Uhh...does this mean there is now a class action lawsuit against Skinner???]

Well, I'm certainly not a member of the class, either, so good luck with that!

And in any case I don't want money from him, just fairness. He allowed a clique of not-nice people to run his site and they trashed people's reputations, and he ought to put an end to that. And he ought to not threaten to sue people who are fed up with him. SLAPP suits are tacky.

[I think your reputation is well beyond the trashed stage, Ben Burch.]

And anti-SLAPP motions can be quite painful (for the person initiating the SLAPP suit, and for his attorneys, too).

[I believe you, CorpGovActivist, but I think Ben Burch would love to have his tush SLAPPED.]

I couldn't care less about his money, but he solicited moneys from people who probably could ill afford it. Some would probably welcome a refund, and a court order mandating an across-the-board refund during that period is a proper remedy, IMO.

[You are just $10 away from getting a $10 refund.]

I couldn't care less about his money, but he solicited moneys from people who probably could ill afford it. Some would probably welcome a refund, and a court order mandating an across-the-board refund during that period is a proper remedy, IMO.

[Do you mean allowing Bev Harris to run her scam on the DUmmies, CorpGovActivist?]

What do you perceive that reason to be? I am unclear why he wouldn't want corruption exposed?

[I agree, Ben Burch, however I wouldn't want to see YOU exposed.]

I'd urge you to read the full account. A snippet:

[Thanx. I shall pass that snippet along to an expert on Skinnerology, franksolich over at the CONSERVATIVE CAVE for detailed analysis. I only hope this doesn't mean the end of DUmmieland due to financial corruption. After all the DUmmie FUnnies needs the DUmmies for the consistent comedy material they provide us.]

Liberals Beg The Goracle To Save The Democrats

The Democrats have a bigtime conundrum. Both of their leading candidates are unelectable in the general election in large part because of Hillary's decision to fight for the nomination to the bitter end...and possibly beyond. So how can the Democrats get themselves out of this lose-lose situation? By calling upon the Mighty Goracle to save them. At least that is the proposal of several leading liberals as you can see in this HUffington POst THREAD titled, "How Al Gore Could Save The Democrats." However, this presents several problems. Even if Al Gore accepts the nomination, this would only ENRAGE the Obama supporters, many of whom would sit on their hands in the general election. On top of that, the Mighty Goracle would want not only the nomination but the general election served up to him on a silver platter without any effort on his part since he believes it is owed to him. The great thing about the bind the Democrats have put themselves into is that there is now no easy solution. No Way Out as the movie title says. So let us now watch the HUffies struggle with the new problems posed by The Goracle solution in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, once again crediting Operation Chaos for the Gordian Knot the Democrats have wound themselves into, is in the [brackets]:

Buzz up!on Yahoo!With Democrats beginning to voice fears about a long summer of two candidates sniping over electability, the name of unofficial party elder Al Gore has resurfaced. Gore was tossed around early and often as a potential nominee, complete with his own grass roots recruiting party. However, the former Vice President and Nobel laureate assiduously avoided exhortations to run.

[The Goracle demands to be annointed, not run like a common candidate.]

Nevertheless, the Gore question is coming back. Joe Klein is the latest to make the case for Al Gore coming into the Democratic race in the case of a brokered convention:

[Save us, Oh Mighty Goracle!]

"Let's say the elders of the Democratic Party decide, when the primaries end, that neither Obama nor Clinton is viable. ... All they'd have to do would be to convince a significant fraction of their superdelegate friends, maybe fewer than 100, to announce that they were taking a pass on the first ballot at the Denver convention, which would deny the 2,025 votes necessary to Obama or Clinton. What if they then approached Gore and asked him to be the nominee, for the good of the party-and suggested that he take Obama as his running mate? ... A prominent fund raiser told me, 'Gore-Obama is the ticket a lot of people wanted in the first place.'"

[And Hillary is just going to stand on the sidelines and allow this to happen. Also I don't think Obama would be too happy to take the backseat as Veep candidate to The Goracle. Back to square one, Joe.]

Meanwhile, Jason Horowitz this week tried to outline the timing of a Gore endorsement:

[Did Jason first make a carbon credits offering first when presenting his outline?]

"If Gore were to weigh in, he would have to do so before the superdelegates begin breaking for either Obama or Clinton," said a former Gore adviser, after laying out the various scenarios that might prompt the former vice president to get involved. "The superdelegates constitute the last true contest in this race. And for many, Gore is someone they talk to, listen to, and whom a lot of them admire and respect. Having him make a closing argument for either candidate would carry significant weight with some of these last-man-standing voters."

[The Goracle weighs in at about 300 pounds.]

And earlier this week, Rep. Tim Mahoney (D-FL) suggested that Al Gore as an alternate coming out of a brokered convention:

[You mean Florida where the delegates were stripped of their seats thanx to Howard Dean? YEEEEEEEAAAAAGGGGHHHH!!!]

"If it (the nomination process) goes into the convention, don't be surprised if someone different is at the top of the ticket," Mahoney said.

[I'm rooting for Mike Gravel as the dark horse candidate.]

A compromise candidate could be someone such as former vice president Al Gore, Mahoney said last week during a meeting with this news organization's editorial board. If either Clinton or Obama suggested to a deadlocked convention a ticket of Gore-Clinton or Gore-Obama, the Democratic Party would accept it, Mahoney said.

[And royally piss off about half the party. And now to hear from the HUffies on the possibility of The Mighty Goracle as their Savior...]

Considring Gore is wishful erroneous thinking that ain't going to happen.


Wheres this clown Gore been?

[Pitching carbon credits from his snake oil wagon.]

Now that the progressives have discovered their "Jesus" they don't want Al Gore stinking up their ticket!

[No crucification of the Obamassiah will be accepted which means NO veep slot for their beloved.]

If Howard Dean had an ounce of leadership capacity, he'd quash this non-sense post haste. This is a distraction, and provides the illusion of a possible solution. Reality check: Hillary will not step aside. Not for you, me, the media, fellow senators, voters, delegates, superdelegates, or anyone else. Dean should crawl out from under his desk and show some spine.


We need Al Gore to save the world more than the Democratic Party. If Al Gore would lead the Carbon Zero Project as Secretary of Energy he'd be doing both.

[Right now Al Gore is leading the Credibility Zero Project.]

Remember Tipper? She wanted to censor and ban Rock Music...

[Until The Goracle realized he needed recording industry contributions.]

I just don't see why Obama has to take a seat at the back of the bus after all the work he did. Why?

[Because of a massive screwup by Howard Dean. YEEEEEEAAAAAGGGGHHHH!!!]

This would mean the hell with the first woman or the first African-American. The white man comes to the rescue. This brokered deal would be a major insult and would, I think, make the Democratic party look even more hypocritical than it already does.

[Bill Clinton was already the first Black president and the Breck Girl could serve as an alternative to Hillary.]

The Democrats are going to take Obama out and destroy the Party in the process.

[That means we should all hail the coming of The Mighty Goracle!]

we DRAFT GORE at the convention and give either Obama or Richardon the VP spot.

[HUEVOS RANCHEROS! I can never again see the name of Bill Ricardson (or Richardon) without thinking of huevos rancheros.]

Bull Crap he's to scared to stand up and be counted in this mess! Ain't even got the guts to say enough is enough and tell Hillary it's over alll ready and stop destroying the party! Ya, we can realllly count on Gore--Like we can count on Howard Dean to take a stand!


I think if Obama announced his VP choice now (Richardson - and yes, he speaks Spanish in response to another poster) and just acted like Clinton wasn't even there, that would go a long way towards convincing Dems of his inevitability and would stop this nonsense talk of coming up with someone to "give" the nomination to against the clearly stated preference of the majority of Dems.

[An egg is a premature chicken.]

It's time we grow up. It's time the Democratic party stand up and realize there needs to be a solution now. It can't be decided by the delegate count, so why make people go through the bitter battle that could certainly cause the country to continue sinking into the malaise that Moron-Boy

[There is no solution to the Democrat Gordian knot thanx to Operation Chaos.]



I'm an Obama supporter. And I'm not a fan of Clinton at all. But if Gore comes in and takes the presidential candidacy from either one of them, I will be so PISSED, I will never vote for another Democrat again. It either has to be Obama or Clinton. They've worked for 15 grueling months and Gore's done nothing to campaign. That's so pretentious of Klein--let the white guy come in and take it from the two minorities. Paternalism at its worse!

[The unsolvable Democrat Gordian knot.]

The mere suggestion of a GORE/OBAMA tickets gives me multiple orgasms.

[Multiple GoreBasms.]

Sunday, March 30, 2008

MTV To Broadcast "The Paper" From Yuppie Florida High School

I don't usually watch MTV reality shows because they always ENRAGE me. A typical MTV reality show features a bunch of self-centered yuppie kids (MTV's target audience) who constantly MUG for the camera. Rather than punch a hole into my TV screen (or pull an Elvis) I have avoided MTV reality shows like the plague. However, I will make an exception for MTV's upcoming "The Paper" which starts broadcasting on April 14. I have already seen a preview VIDEO of this show, and the kids are no less annoying than in previous MTV reality shows. So why the exception? Why torture myself watching a bunch of kids whom I know will get on my nerves? Simple, this show takes place at Cypress Bay high school located not far from me (about 15 miles) in the exclusive upscale town of Weston, FL. In fact, Cypress Bay high is probably one of the few (maybe the only) mostly white public schools in Broward County which is why MTV picked it for filming. They know their target audience. Yuppie white kids. In fact, I will be surprised if MTV doesn't draw some flack for their choice of high schools. Plantation and Piper high schools here in Broward wouldn't do. Their students aren't wealthy or white enough to appeal to MTV's audience.

Another reason why I will follow this series on MTV is that I have actually been to Cypress Bay high school a couple of times on secret missions. The last time was a couple of years ago for a weekend event there. I remember it mainly because as I was passing some woman playing a tune on the radio, I briefly did a quick step dance to the tune. As a result, a burst of laughter broke out from the crowd and they begged me for more and I complied to yet more laughter. Okay, I admit I was also mugging but it wasn't for the MTV cameras.

The premise of "The Paper" is about some students vying to become editor-in-chief of the student newspaper, "The Circuit." Normally the kids wouldn't give much of a crap since it probably involves a bunch of extra-curricular work. However, since they are on the MTV tube, you can expect them to suddenly become incredibly competitive for that post with lots of mugging for the camera along the way. As for the attitudes of the students, you can get a preview of it by the quote from one chick in the video who said that her mom wants her to be Barbara Walters. Of course, since this is Weston, her mom wouldn't want her to be Laura Ingraham.

Apparently I am not the only one who has a negative reaction to the preview video. Below are a couple of YouTube comments from others who were also turned off by the "The Paper."

WOOT! Let's degrade our school by displaying the hypocrisy and idiocy of it's most outlandish and asinine members! So fun! Yeah... God... I hate you MTV... You're a plague ripping through the world and stealing the minds of young people everywhere causing them to comform into your own idealistic fallacy on what people should really be like and what entertainment is...

those are like the whitest people in cypress

Friday, March 28, 2008

Joe Wilson Slams Barack Obama

I guess things must not be going well with Joe Wilson's (and wife Valerie Plame's) movie. It was hyped bigtime over a year ago and now that Warner Bros project appears to have dropped out of sight. I sure know Wilson's book is way down in the DUMPS at #1,310,194 in Amazon. The paperback edition isn't doing much better at #266,321. This might explain Joe Wilson's over-the-top partisanship in favor of Hillary. 'Fess up, Joe. What did Hillary promise you? The Secretary of State slot if she is elected president? In any event, it is entertaining to watch Wilson viciously attack Obama as you can see in his HUffington Post BLOG titled "Smears and Tears: How Obama's National Security Week Turned Into the Mendacity of Hype." Yet another symptom that Rush Limbaugh's Operation Chaos is working beautifully. So let us now watch Joe Wilson attack Obama in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, enjoying the spectacle of Wilson desperately fighting to overturn his well deserved has-been status, is in the [brackets]:

Smears and Tears: How Obama's National Security Week Turned Into the Mendacity of Hype

[From an expert in mendacity.]

The past week marked the fifth anniversary of the Iraq War and the milestone of the 4,000th American soldier killed in that disastrous adventure. Commemorating and underscoring the urgent need for a new policy direction, Senator Clinton delivered a serious and detailed address clearly setting out her vision for and commitment to ending the conflict. Her approach includes a direct critique of the most glaring failures of the Bush administration: its unwillingness to use political pressure and intense international diplomacy to effect a resolution of the outstanding differences that have driven the region into a proxy war within Iraq with the United States manning and supporting combatants on all sides. For years American generals have been telling the administration, the Congress, and the public that Iraq is not a situation that lends itself to a military solution and will only be resolved politically. While the focus of American opprobrium has been on the Iraqi government for its failure to find those solutions, Senator Clinton, in her speech, is the first presidential candidate to spell out in a precise plan the elements required for an international effort, including co-opting and controlling the enablers of the ongoing violence in Iraq, to promote political reconciliation and reform.

[I guess the news about the success of the Surge has never reached Joe Wilson.]

My wife, former CIA agent, Valerie, and I accompanied Senator Clinton to Philadelphia the day after her speech. Valerie pointed out in her comments how, in the run up to the invasion, the administration lied to the Congress and the American people about the nature and the seriousness of the weapons of mass destruction threat posed by Saddam Hussein. The Bush administration's willful twisting of intelligence was crucial to manipulation of the press, the public and the Congress. Not until months later, after the invasion, did the facts of the administration's distortion of intelligence slowly begin to trickle out, partly as a result of my own efforts in a New York Times opinion piece in July 2003.

[Did Valerie Plame also finally admit to lying about how she had no role in sending hubby Wilson to Niger?]

Understandably, Senator Obama's speech on race relations overshadowed Senator Clinton's policy pronouncements. While laudable in intent, Senator Obama would never have made the speech had his relationship with fiery pastor Jeremiah Wright not become a public relations nightmare for him. Among other things, Wright preaches that the United States government unleashed the HIV virus in Africa to kill blacks. (Having worked in Africa for much of my adult life, including with one of the early AIDS researchers, Dr. Jonathan Mann, I can safely say that there is absolutely no evidence to sustain Wright's reckless charge.) Obama had no choice but to address his 20-year close relationship with a man he still considers, as he made clear in his speech, a mentor.

[Team Clinton will hit on that Rev. Wright connection again and again and again. Another product of Operation Chaos.]

In the immediate aftermath, the Obama campaign dispatched several foreign policy surrogates to blitz the airwaves, supposedly to offer alternatives to Clinton's recommendations. But that's not what happened. Instead, Hillary was subjected to yet another round of personal abuse, denigration and ridicule rather than a serious debate of the issues. The real subtext of the Obama campaign was to attack Hillary in order to distract from Obama's association with his anti-American preacher. National security went un-addressed. Rather than filling in his largely absent record, Obama had his surrogates engage in what can be termed the mendacity of hype.

[Back to Rev. Wright again. The favorite topic of the Clinton surrogates.]

Zbigniew Brzezinski, an otherwise serious person, made the extraordinarily silly comment belittling two-term Senator Clinton by comparing her experience to that of Mamie Eisenhower and his own travel agent after offering an analysis of the situation in Iraq and the path to a resolution that essentially mirrored the basic points Senator Clinton made in her speech. Brzezinski was not asked and did not explain why Obama early embraced him as an adviser and openly praised him, but recently has coldly distanced himself because of Brzezinski's controversial views on Israel.

[Great. Keep labeling Obama as anti-Israel. It will help him NOT in the general election. Another result of Operation Chaos.]

Nor did Brzezinski address the bloody issue of mercenary forces like Blackwater, which Obama states should be allowed to remain part of our military force in Iraq -- a position challenged by Senator Clinton, who has called for phasing them out. In place of practical policies, Brzezinski offered his vague "sense" that Obama is a person who understands change before it takes place and is therefore capable of making "transcendental" decisions, whatever that might mean. For a man with a reputation as tough-minded, Brzezinski retreated into cloudy abstraction in his defense of Obama, who, according to the Senator, he, Brzezinksi, knows hardly at all.

[I'm not sure that Obama can even spell "Brzezinksi."]

Senator John Kerry, another Obama surrogate, offered the startling observation that Obama is better equipped than anyone else to bridge the divide between the U.S. and the Muslim world and end Islamic extremism and terorrism -- "because he's a black man." There is absolutely no empirical evidence to sustain that claim, the notion that a single individual, even one with a resume filled with appropriate experience, would be able to halt terrorism because of the color of his skin. It is patently absurd. But Kerry presented nothing to back up his astounding racial reasoning. And the Obama campaign was remarkably silent on Kerry's racialization of the foreign policy discussion.

[John Kerry has Obama's back.]

Next, Governor Bill Richardson, who campaigned on his resume as a foreign policy practitioner, "agonized," he explained, before putting his faith in a "once in a lifetime leader" and endorsed Obama, repudiating his own rationale of experience as a prerequisite for being President. Rather than state why he believes Obama has superior national security credentials and positions, he opted to complain instead about James Carville comparing him to Judas Iscariot. Since Richardson made foreign policy the centerpiece of his campaign -- a direct consequence of President Bill Clinton's appointments -- and of the salience of foreign policy as an issue in the election, he owed an explanation of how Obama's foreign policy would make us stronger and more secure that Clinton's. But, preferring to defend himself against the charge of having betrayed the Clintons he neglected to discuss such policy.

[Check out this great VIDEO of Richardson and Obama being interviewed together. Huevos Rancheros!]

Then, there was retired Air Force General, Merrill "Tony" McPeak, whose media appearance last week consisted of making the outrageous charge that Bill Clinton was using "McCarthy-like tactics" simply because he mentioned, in the event of a Hillary-McCain match-up, that Hillary and McCain are good patriots and that the campaign should be devoted to a substantive debate of the issues. Even the right wing National Review's Kathleen Parker, who was at the event, felt compelled to correct the record. "Bill Clinton was saying that Hillary and McCain are both good patriots who love their country, not that all those unmentioned are something else."

[Huevos Rancheros! Sorry. I just couldn't get that phrase out of my mind.]

Bill Clinton, of course, was not using "McCarthy-like tactics," but the Obama campaign was eager to smear him. Which was guilty of "McCarthy-like tactics"? Attack the character of your adversaries; demean them; turn them into caricatures; while lying about someone, claim they are liars.

[That sounds like a game plan fresh out of the Clinton War Room.]

Finally, the Obama campaign pushed a compliant press corps, all too eager to do its bidding rather than maintain its standards of objectivity and skepticism, into hyping a mini-pseudo-scandal: whether Hillary "misspoke" about being under sniper fire when she paid a visit to Tuzla in Bosnia in 1996. In fact, the then-First Lady was told the plane was diving to land to avoid possible sniper fire. Whether there was or not is irrelevant. Anybody who has been involved in these situations, as I have, knows this. The threat was apparently real enough for U.S. military on the ground, the pilot and her security detail to engage in evasive procedures. That should have been the end of the matter. But the cable TV talking heads nattered the Obama campaign talking points endlessly.

[A dangerous situation in Tuzla. Hillary was forced to delay eating her plate of huevos rancheros.]

Obama's week of rolling out national security surrogates and talking points was not a pretty sight and turned out to have almost nothing to do with bolstering his thin credentials. His distracting efforts were a clear attempt to deflect attention from them, in fact. In response to Hillary's detailed, substantive speech on Iraq, Obama replied with ad hominem insults. Instead of presenting his own plan, his campaign indulged in character assassination.

[May I have ad hominey grits with my huevos rancheros?]

Senator Obama and his campaign should get back to defending his policy positions and record rather than diminish a good person and an accomplished public servant. They know better.

[And I know better than to interfere with your Operation Chaos inspired attacks on Barack Obama. And now to hear from the HUffies before I consume a plate of huevos rancheros...]

This makes me sad. I used to respect Joseph Wilson, but I'm losing more respect for him with every piece of his I read that lauds Hillary and attacks Barack.

[The left is now being forced to see the real Joe Wilson thanks to Operation Chaos.]

It is evident, although still hoping for a last second win, Clnton is laying the groundwork for a 2012 run by using the quoted "Tanya Harding option". Cripple Obama in the general election to help McCain win.

[Hee! Hee! Thank you, Hillary!]

Sadly, it appears Hillary would rather ruin the party than simply help out her country. ... That sounds harsher than I want it to, but it is the way she is being perceived. With her skills backing up Obama, or even vice-versa, now that would have been a team. But now that she clearly can NOT win without hi-jinks, her current scorched earth approach are making such options mighty scarce.

[Just don't scorch my huevos rancheros.]

I admire Wilson for standing up to Bush and Co . But is saddens me that he had become part of the Clinton attack machine. I don't know what he has been offered but it must be sweet.

[I'm thinking the Secretary of State slot.]

Joe I find it ironic that you come out with a hit job piece using Reverend Wright in part of your attack. I would hope you would show more character after being smeared by the Bush Administration. Talk about policy and how it will affect us but don't bring mudsling Republican tactics to your arguement. Like the Clintons, I have now lost respect for you also. Kind of makes me wonder if my past support was a mistake.

[It was.]

And one more thing: Why are all Hillary supporters completely clueless on issues regarding foreign and domestic policy? I think the majority of Hillary voters spend more time reading The Davinci Code than anything really substantive.

[Da Vinci Code. Most boring movie ever until the Plame-Wilson movie...if it is ever made.]

as for the Judas remark. I don't know of course but I believe that there was a very pointed message for Richardson that would be known between them. Perhaps he had already been offered and accepted a position in the cabinet if Hillary won and when he got a better deal he turned. That is kind of a betrayal I'd say. Of course I don't know but watching Carvill sticking to his remmark just gave me that feeling.

[An egg is a premature chicken.]

It's embarrassing to see Joe Wilson use what happened to his wife to nakedly shill for Hillary. It makes all three of them look bad. I imagine that's precisely why Arianna continues to allow Joe to do it; he seems to be blissfully unaware he's in a hole and can't stop digging.

[Joe Wilson is standing at the highway underpass with a sign that says: "Will Shill For Work."]

Jesus Christ, Joe! Stop it!

[Don't stop, Joe!]

Every time you post a pro-Hillary article here, you further destroy your own reputation. You brandish bias like it's a virtue. Your selective recollection and misrepresentation of the facts are even worse than Wolfson's. At least with him, everyone knows it's his JOB to twist reality to make his boss look good. He's not putting his own personal credibility on the line when he lies, because everyone knows it's just part of the job. Hillary's reputation takes a hit, not his. When you post comments like this, you are allegedly doing so as a concerned individual. It's YOUR credibility that is at stake when you post. YOU are the one who has to suffer the consequences.

[Keep destroying your reputation!]

So, just stop it!

[Don't stop, Joe!]

You used to be a hero to me, but now your "kitchen sink" smears against Obama have destroyed all of the goodwill you had built up with your opposition to the war.

[Don't toss my huevos rancheros into the kitchen sink.]

Must be hard out there for a pimp... As we continue to see Joe Wilson pimp out not only himself but his wife's issues with the Bush administration in service of the Madam, Hillary Clinton. It is sad to watch someone who COULD still be of service to country being tainted by association with the Clintons (Valerie Plame) and disgusting to watch someone who provide other service to the country and to his party, decide to abandon all scruples and squandor his personal credibility by becoming a thug in service of Hillary Rodham Clinton. Sadly for Wilson, he does not realize this is not about government jobs, but the respect of the people he onced served. Our respect is gone, never to return. Growing up, I was often admonished to be careful of the company I kept and more importantly, what I had to do to keep them. Joe's mama must have forgotten to deliver that lesson.

[Folks, this disenchantment with Joe Wilson by the left goes on for at least 19 pages at the HUffington POst. You are welcome to enter this goldmine of material and post the best of the nuggets. As for me, I am too hungry for huevos rancheros to continue.]

Thursday, March 27, 2008

"Landing On A Jet Plane" Song Parody

Hillary Clinton's wartime fairy tale of landing in Bosnia under heavy sniper fire just begged to be parodied in song. And who better to write that parody than our own Charles Henrickson so without further adieu:

Tune: "Leaving on a Jet Plane" Original

All the odds are stacked, I'm ready to run
I'm standin' here, holdin' my gun
I hate to call you up to say goodbye
But the battle's ragin', I hear the sounds
The tank is waitin', he's shootin' some rounds
I know there's so much danger I could die

So send me to Bosnia
Tell me they'll be bombin' us
Sniper fire will never get me down
I'm landin' on a jet plane
I don't know if I'll be back again
Oh, Bill, we're on the ground

There's so many shots, it takes my breath
So many times I've cheated death
I tell you now, we just lost a wing
Every combat zone, I pay my dues
Every mission flown is stuff I'll use
Some day I'll throw my pantsuit in the ring

So send me to Bosnia
Tell me they'll be bombin' us
Sniper fire will never get me down
I'm landin' on a jet plane
I don't know if I'll be back again
Oh, Bill, we're on the ground

Now the time has come for battle
My future's not as bright as cattle
I'll close my eyes, while the cannons boom
I'll dream about the campaign trail
When I can tell my wartime tale
About the time I faced death and doom

So send me to Bosnia
Tell me they'll be bombin' us
Sniper fire will never get me down
I'm landin' on a jet plane
I don't know if I'll be back again
Oh, Bill, we're on the ground

Chelsea's Big Adventure

Right now the leftwing blogosphere is abuzz about another Hillary Clinton fib that threatens to overshadow her Bosnia sniper fire fairy tale. It has to do with her changing stories about what her daughter Chelsea was doing on the morning of 9/11 in New York.

One version had Chelsea ducking inside a Starbucks near the World Trade Center when the attack began. That version was later ditched and Chelsea came out with her own version of what happened that day in first person article written for Talk Magazine. Since that story didn't go online, I purchased a copy of Talk Magazine back then and was astonished to find it extremely self-centered. As a result, I wrote a parody about Chelsea's Talk Magazine article. In fact I even submitted the parody to Talk Magazine and you can read my e-mail submission below. Eventually it was published in the now defunct Laissez Faire City Times (FUn Fact: Your Hero won an award from that publication for the Best Article of the Year in early 1998 for his very first article submission there at the end of 1997.) I subsequently republished that parody in the Free Republic which you can see HERE.

I will soon DUFU one of the many leftwing threads expressing belated outrage at the Hillary fabrication about what her daughter was doing on 9/11 but this edition will feature (hey I can be just as egotistical as any First Daughter) my parody of the Talk Magazine article by Chelsea. BTW, I just love how it is only now that Hillary is trying to kneecap their beloved Obama that the left has become outraged about her 9/11 fib. Back then I was one of the few who took note of the varying stories. And now on with the parody! First my e-mail to Talk Magazine pitching it:

Hi! I am submitting the attached article, "Chelsea's Big Adventure," for your consideration for publication in Talk Magazine. It is a parody of Chelsea Clinton's article about 9-11 in the current Talk Magazine issue.

If I were a less humble person I could engage in braggadocio and tell you that I have had thousands of humor articles published both online and offline (including in DOZENS of newspapers throughout the USA, Canada, and even Russia). However, since I am much too humble to engage in such blatant self-promotion, I will merely ask you to enter "P.J. Gladnick" into any of the online search engines and behold the genius that is me. Yes, you will see hundreds of articles written by Yours Truly PLUS over 500 pages of comix stories that I have written on my PJ's Comix ( website.

Despite the fact that you will be overawed by my massive talent, I realistically know that the chances of Talk Magazine publishing a parody of one of their own articles is somewhere between nil and none. However, I hope you enjoy this parody (and don't forget to share it with friends).

On the outside chance that Talk Magazine falters in its judgement and actually published my parody, I am demanding payment of either $50,000 or a box of Black Jewell Premium Popping Popcorn (my favorite).

Thanx for taking the time to consider (and reject) my submission.---P.J.

And now that you have seen the proper way to make a dignified article submission to a periodical, on to the parody itself:

It was the best of times. It was the worst of times.

Before the morning of September 11 it was the best of times for me. I woke up that Tuesday morning feeling good about where I was in my life and happy about where I was going (to Oxford). Now that sense of security is gone, and since the 11th, for some moment every day, I have been scared. Not by a sense of immediate, immense danger, but by something more subtle and corrosive: an uncertainty about my place in the world—where I am emotionally, psychologically, and sometimes even physically.

I . . . I . . . I . . . My . . . My . . . My . . . Me . . . Me . . . ME . . . MEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!

Anyway I remember the events of that tragic morning quite clearly. I was jogging down to Battery Park and stopped at Starbucks to get a cup of coffee. That's when the first plane hit one of the World Trade Center towers.

My first thought was that with the Bush tax cut we wouldn't have enough money to repair the World Trade Center. Then I dropped down on my knees and thanked God for making my mommy a senator and . . .

Oh wait! Mommy said to ditch that version of my 9-11 adventure. Here is my new version of the events of that day which is the definitive version . . . at least until modified by later revision:

Before September 11 I wouldn't have believed I had many innocences left. I had seen people who had lost everything and everyone they loved to war, famine, and natural disasters. I suffered with them and I truly did feel the pain of those photo-op props.

What I have found out is that it is hard to be a broad right now. Dirty old men who think they have the right to grope you just because they are powerful and you are a mere intern. It's also hard to be abroad since the September 11 attacks. Living in England is difficult not only because of the inescapable sense of dislocation but also because of the protectiveness, defensiveness, and pride I feel for my country.

Every day at some point I encounter some sort of anti-American feeling either from other students, from newspaper columnists, or from anti-war protestors. Why I even heard that some of the anti-war protestors were Americans. I just can't think of anything lower than an American at Oxford protesting against his own country. Daddy was absolutely outraged when I told him about this.

On the morning of September 11 (Version 2), I was snoring in bed at the apartment of my friend, Nicole Davison, when the phone rang around 9:00 AM. I was about to chew out Nicole on the other end for waking me up so early when she told me that a plane had crashed into the Twin Towers. Since I couldn't go back to sleep again, I channel surfed on the tube where I saw a second plane crash into the World Trade Center.

I called my mommy but the line went dead. Instead of using my cell phone (or one of my bodyguards' cell phones) to call back, I stared senselessly at my TV and then made my way downtown towards the World Trade Center towers to find a pay phone.

I walked the streets of Manhattan in a daze. I have no real memory of what happened. No memory. No recall. No recollection. I wandered downtown. Or was it uptown? Most likely it was downtown but I can't remember much so please don't pin me down with irrelevant specifics except for the fact that Story Version #1 about jogging and coffee is now null and void.

One small detail I do remember was that I was in such a daze that after walking a few blocks I noticed that I was wearing a really tacky pair of flip-flop sandals that I normally wear when shlepping around Nicole's apartment. For a brief moment I truly thought I was going to die of embarrassment.

I continued my daze walking until the first tower collapsed. My first thought at that moment was of the McCain-Feingold Campaign Reform Bill. Then a Humpty-Dumpty rhyme popped into my head. I am still unsure what Humpty-Dumpty represented to me on that day. It just seemed as though the world were falling down like Humpty-Dumpty. Also like Jack and Jill.

I took refuge from all the screaming people and falling dust in a Starbucks (not to be confused with the Version #1 Starbucks). It was while taking refuge in Starbucks and watching the running people outside that I realized that the only things that I was sure of was that I didn't want to be crying or alone and that I wanted to talk to the most intelligent woman on the planet, my mommy.`

Throughout the ordeal I had not been able to get the support I wanted from one of my closest friends, a friend who had actually, until he dumped me, been my boyfriend. We parted because of circumstances. I was going to England and he was just flat out sick of me.

It was then that I noticed the Fat Woman on her knees. At first I thought she was praying and thanking God for making Mommy a senator but then I noticed that she was just picking up a bagel she had dropped. She was wearing a blue dress and a black beret and was scarfing down those Starbucks bagels like they were going out of style.

Our eyes met and we somehow bonded as kindred spirits. The Fat Woman told me how she was in love with an older powerful man who ditched her. She affectionately called him "El Shmucko" or "The Big Creep." I, in turn, told the Fat Woman about my sack of slime ex-boyfriend who cruelly tossed aside his sweet flower full of innocences.

The Fat Woman and I were consoling each other over broken romances when the second tower fell. Immediately one thought seared itself onto my mind: The Dingell-Norwood Patients' Rights Bill.

That thought soon passed and I recited Humpty-Dumpty for the Fat Woman. Then she recited some quotes from "Leaves Of Grass."

There was panic out in the streets and I panicked at the thought of never getting together with my ex-boyfriend again. I hugged the Fat Woman goodbye and accidentally spilled some latte on her blue dress. I apologized but the Fat Woman assured me it was okay. In fact she said she was going to save that stained blue dress as a souvenir of our meeting.

I stepped over some gasping victims outside Starbucks and thanked God for making Mommy their senator. It was really bad what was happening to them but on the upside it was at that moment that I realized I had become a New Yorker . . . Ich bin ein New Yawker!

The next thing I knew I was walking north with my two girlfriends when we found ourselves at the Met Life building above Grand Central Terminal. How those girlfriends got into the picture and how I suddenly ended up far from the WTC, I don't know. It was that daze I was in so please don't ask for any explanations. All of a sudden there was a bomb scare and people went running out into the street. I was soooo frightened. And I really needed my ex-boyfriend to hug me. Also I prayed again and thanked God that Mommy was senator. Also, to be bipartisan, I also thanked God that Giuliani was mayor and asked God to give George Bush the strength to keep the White House furniture in good shape until Mommy takes over again.

The days following the attack were horrible for me. Sometimes I had a certain clarity of purpose: other days I didn't. I wanted the ease of being truly comfortable with someone (my ex-boyfriend) and craved some good long hugs interspersed with some hot French kissing. In general I am an incredibly self-reliant person but I wailed like a banshee on the phone and begged my ex-boyfriend to see me again. He came and that weekend I laughed for the first time since the 11th. That was the greatest quickie he has ever given me. And although he made it clear that we were still Splitsville, there is always hope for me.

After all, tomorrow is another day.

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Richardson Endorses Obama

You want to roll over laughing? Then you absolutely must watch this hilarious Jackie & Dunlap VIDEO. The boys from Red State Update have found never seen before video of the Richardson and Obama interview that will have you in stitches.

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Leftwinger Angrily Proclaims Operation Chaos An ASTOUNDING Success

Normally at this stage of the campaign season there is a big lull until the conventions during the summer. The big primaries have passed and the nominees of each party have been designated. All that awaits is their coronations at their respective conventions...until this year. That pattern was SHATTERED in a dramatic fashion by one Rush Limbaugh a few weeks ago when he suggested that Republican voters in Ohio and Texas switch over to the Democrat party for the express purpose of causing chaos. Despite some initial MSM skepticism, Rush's plan worked BEAUTIFULLY. Hillary won both states and is now on track to win big in Pennsylvania in April. As a result she is NOT leaving the race without a huge fight. Some onlookers have called it the Tonya Harding strategy. She might not win the nomination but she is intent on crippling Barack Obama to the extent that he will be unable to win the general election in November. Although the MSM is still trying to downplay in public the devasting effect of Operation Chaos on the Democrat party, many on the Left give full credit to Rush Limbaugh for destroying party unity as you can see in this HUffington POst THREAD titled, "Limbaugh's Lying Voters Under Investigation." This rant is authored by Ari Melber and is reposted from The Nation where it originally appeared. Ari's angry premise is that Rush's Operation Chaos has caused so much chaos that participants must be JAILED for switching parties to vote for Hillary. Yes, stand by for prisons to be filled by voters who underwent mind melding by judges and juries to determine how they really think in order to sentence them. So let us now watch as Operation Chaos is declared an astounding success in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, hoping he won't be arrested by the Thought Police, is in the [brackets]:

Limbaugh's Lying Voters Under Investigation

[To be laughed out of court.]

"Operation Chaos," Rush Limbaugh's campaign urging Republicans to vote for Hillary Clinton in Democratic primaries, has been very effective. It doubled Republican turnout in Ohio and Texas, boosting Clinton and prolonging the Democratic race. But in Ohio, it was also almost certainly illegal.

[Will you also be arresting the Democrats who switched parties to vote for McCain?]

Ohio law requires that citizens genuinely support a political party in order to vote in its primary. To change parties for a primary, a citizen must pledge, under the penalty of election falsification, that she is affiliated with the party and "supports" its principles. Lying on the pledge is a felony, punishable by up to a year in jail and a $2,500 fine. The law also stipulates that poll workers have a "duty" to challenge voters who are "not a member of the political party whose ballot the person desires to vote."

[Since the Democrat party has no principles, there is nothing there support. Oh, and how many poll workers challenged voters on this? I think the number is somewhere between nil and none.]

In Cuyahoga, Ohio's largest county, 16,000 Republicans switched parties for the primary last month. Several did so in bad faith, without truly changing parties, according to newspaper interviews and Internet postings. The Cuyahoga Board of Elections recently voted to investigate the matter; a report is expected on March 31. Despite the massive crossover voting, however, prosecutions are considered unlikely. A spokesperson for Ohio's Attorney General told Alternet that it is "very hard to prosecute" crossover voting cases, since the crime depends on proving a voter's motive on Election Day.

[Poor Ari! Apparently NO prison time for Ohio Thought Crime.]

Limbaugh's motives, however, have been perfectly clear from the start. "I'm asking people to cross over, and if they can stomach it and I know it's a difficult thing to do, vote for Clinton," Limbaugh said before the Ohio primary. The goal, he explained, was to ensure Barack Obama was "bloodied up politically" and to extend the Democratic primary "soap opera."

[Mission accomplished!]

Since the Ohio investigation began, Limbaugh has revved up his special brand of self-promotional damage control. He ran several segments defending "Operation Chaos" with the disingenuous argument that politicians also ask for crossover voters. Of course, intent makes all the difference: Reagan Democrats actually supported Reagan. Limbaugh's campaign is under legal scrutiny because he asked people to crossover in bad faith -- to tamper with elections. But for $19.95, Limbaugh is still hawking shirts and caps emblazoned with "Operation Chaos," so listeners can join the program's "street team." Wear one of those shirts to the polls, though, and you just might provide enough evidence of the motive needed for prosecution. The shirts list "mission objectives" like "enjoy liberals tearing each other apart," "prolong" the Democratic primary, "drain the DNC of campaign cash," and "win in November."

[Another mission objective is to make leftwing writers go BERSERK.]

Finally, Limbaugh is lashing out at anyone who notes that he urged thousands of listeners, whether maliciously or ignorantly, to break Ohio law. He recently complained that NBC's Norah O'Donnell and the New Republic's Michael Crowley dared to discuss the issue. Then he was outraged that Fox's Julie Banderas said election law violations must be "taken seriously" and "Republican shock jocks" were possibly "anti-American" for urging people to break the law. And Limbaugh didn't like my recent criticism, either. When asked about crossover voting during an appearance on C-SPAN last week, I said that people should vote on principle -- not to undermine primary races. I also explained that "Operation Chaos" effectively urged people to break Ohio law, if they voted in bad faith, citing a Wired article. Apparently this observation upset Limbaugh, who recently played the clip while calling out "Stuff it, pal, stuff it!" Now it doesn't take much courage to talk back to a recording, and Limbaugh loves playing up partisan fights for his audience. But this is not only about politics. Limbaugh abused his listeners' trust and encouraged potentially illegal conduct. And after a Republican Justice Department spent years hyping voter fraud charges, now some of the most blatant election law violations are being stoked, repeatedly and unrepentantly, by one of the most prominent figures in Republican politics.

[Boo Hoo! Anybody here think poor Ari would be crybabying if Rush were helping his candidate, Obama? And now on to the HUffie reactions...]

live in Ohio and have three "friends", who are republicans that voted for Hillary. Should I turn them in?

[Yes. Turn them in to the Thought Police so they can discern their intentions.]

The Dem's did this too in Michigan back in January (See KoS). Truth is, it pissed me off then and it's no better now. The parties should institute rules to prevent this. Requiring a change in party affiliation prior to primary season would prevent folks from gaming the system. BOTH parties need to make changes as a result of all of this. The Dem's are no better than Rush and crew, contrary to all of the noise folks are making here.

[Uh-Oh, Rush. You might end up with KOmmie KOs as a Thought Crime cellmate.]

Nice to see Operation Chaos is having the desired effect. Hey Democrats, what goes around, comes around with regards to messing with the opposition party and their nominating process and election. Too bad you just can't handle the fact that your nominating process goes on and on, be it the "Power" of Rush or other mitigating factors. If Rush goes to jail, I guess Obama and Clinton will join him in the next jail cell because both publically enlisted the aid of "Independents" and "Republicans" to vote for them. Funny for a party whose members are always touting "Count Every Vote and Make Every Vote Count", that the Chairman of the Democratic National Committee, Howard Dean and his crew allowed for the disenfranchisement of the voters of Florida and Michigan as "punishment" for moving their Primary dates up. Everyone start singing... "Who's Sorry Now"... It's odd, out of all the comments I have read and heard about how President Bush "screwed up" this country and yet the democratic party can't even run a nomination process without screwing that up and you want to be in power???

[Operation Chaos is the greatest political success in years.]

Were all of you left wing bloggers complaining when the Daily Kos promoted the same crossover for Democrats to try and keep Mitt Romney in the race longer? I thought not, you only whine when it bites you in the butt.

[No cries for jail time for KOmmie KOs by the Left back then.]

Actually motive CAN be proven. It just takes a lot of work.

[It takes intensive Vulcan mind melding.

Is there a RICO case in this?

[There isn't even a PUERTO RICO case in this.]

Crossover votes for a candidate should be welcomed, but votes against our candidate should be exposed as manipulation.

[And you have the mind melding ability to determine when this happens?]

Paying Rush too much attention gives him the ammo he needs to keep himself on the air. He won't go away if ignored, but eventually he will, as his audience will fade into the woodwork, having heard all his talk and become tired of hearing the same old thing.

[Pay no attention to Rush! DAMN IT! I will just pretend not to notice that Rush is DESTROYING my beloved Democrat Party with his Operation Chaos.]

If they gather enough evidence that voters switched because they were following Rush's advice, they might have a case. It would probably be pretty difficult to bring charges against individual voters, but Rush may just have overplayed his hand. Let's hope so. This guy is only a symptom of a larger disease, but getting him off the scene goes a long way toward a cure.

[Perhaps you can locate that leprechaun who will swear under oath that his mind was numbed enough to vote the way Rush wanted.]

I hope this investigation is on a fast tract so that, if anyone has the intention of doing the same in Penna. they will think again. But of course that means these lowlifes have thinking capacity which is a stretch.

[Better put an arrest warrant out on Barack Obama because he was urging the SAME THING in Penna..]

Too late, the rethuglicans have already stacked the Pennslyvanian dem roles with Limbuagh dirty-Americans. Hillary wins the dem nomination thanks to rethuglicans. Way to go ladies.......

[Operation Chaos strikes again!]

go get him Ari!

[With a butterfly net.]

This is just one more reason for the party elders to shut down Hillary's hopeless campaign. Now, in addition to letting the Clintons make fools of them, they're letting Rush Limbaugh make fools of them.

[Hee! Hee! Operation Chaos is providing us with a lot of great laughs, including this DUFU edition.]

Monday, March 24, 2008

Democrat Civil War Heats Up To Final Rupture

I might have to FedEx out a mass shipment of Kewpie dolls to the DUmmies for having a brief moment of mental clarity. They seem to have an accurate understanding about Hillary and Obama. Of course, they think their own candidate is pure as the winter slush but they are saying things about each other that, until recently, only the EVIL Republicans have been saying. This is particularly true in the DUmmie comments about the Clintons as you can see in this DUmmie THREAD titled, "Is anyone else asking themselves, 'Were the Clintons always like this?'" So let us sit back and watch the DUmmies slam the Clintons in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, taking down notes for Vast Rightwing Conspiracy talking points, is in the [brackets]:

Is anyone else asking themselves, "Were the Clintons always like this?"

[A DUmmie starts to awaken to harsh reality.]

Like most of you, I spent the 90's defending the Clintons. Now I find myself really not liking them at all. Did something change about them or did I just move on.

[You lost your agenda to defend the Clinton's through thick or thin now that you have accepted the Obama as your Messiah.]

Me too. Did I just not see it until this year?? I started out this primary season a supporter of Hillary. Now I wouldn't vote for her for dogcatcher.

[Healed by Obama, the DUmmie blind can now see!]

Power can corrupt that is how I see the Clintons now. I think they have always been seduced by power but now they are addicted to it.

[They have become the Power Strangers to you.]

Nope, you've just burned out, I guess and got Obamaligion

[Give me that old time Obamaligion!]

Obama supporters elevates the Kool-Aid crowd to a whole new level.

[I faint in the presence of my One True Obama.]

I recall a Repub telling me that Clintons didn't want Kerry to win, so that THEY could run in '08. I scoffed at the idea. I defended the "honor" of the Clintons! No way they would do such a dastardly thing...not help Kerry as much as they could, helping the country to stay Republican, when they would know what damage that would cause to the country. They would not DO such a thing! But now, I think that is probably what happened. Others think so, too. The Clintons have had these plans to run for years. Their plans would not come to fruition if Kerry had won, probably. Sometimes loyalty blinds us. I was blind to the Clintons.

[The Clintons had John Kerrys back...and placed a dagger into it.]

You Ought to Be Ashamed of Yourself... Weeks after Clinton had open-heart surgery, John Kerry BEGGED him to campaign for him and Clinton did. Now, John Kerry is attacking the Clintons at every turn and psychotic Obama supporters are attacking him just like right-wingers. It's disgusting! Don't preach to us about loyalty. You people don't know the meaning of the word!

[Return fire from DUmmie Ft. Sumter.]

I think Obama is a pied piper, and a loser. I think Hillary will be the nominee

[We already know that Will Pitt is the Pied Piper.]

Where is the loyalty? Where is the party dedication?
The Clintons have given their lives to the Democratic Party. They have campaigned for countless traitor candidates (e.g., TED F*CKING KENNEDY, JOHN F*CKING KERRY)) who have turned their backs on the Clintons. How quickly they forget. But I don't.

[I won't forget that categorization of "traitor candidates."]

The really sad part is that the Clintons lived up to the Repubs' visions of them. They had a chance to be ethical, to do the right thing, to go down in history, and for his legacy to stay intact. Sigh. That hunger for power can do some people in.

[Amazing how we can force the Clintons to act out our fantasy of them. Call it Rovian Mind Control.]

There was a call by Rush Limpballs to go vote for her, and his followers responded. HRC won TX by about 100,000 votes. You know that the Repubs want HRC. Everyone in the nation who is paying attention knows this.

[Not true. Rush's motive was to create chaos in the Democrat party---Operation Chaos. And reading your posts here, his plan worked PERFECTLY!]

The Clintons are the same -- the hate came with Obama. Go ahead put me on ignore, it's the TRUTH.

[Paging Rush! It appears Operation Chaos is an astounding SUCCESS!!!]

Why did Obama destroy my party? I don't like these bullies

[Would you like an Operation Chaos T-Shirt?]

When she finally learned the campaign was out of money it was too late to organize in key states. She's let advisors tell her to switch personalities day by day until she began to look like Sybil. Her campaign manager was watching soap operas in the office instead of working the phones and her consultants were too busy having shouting matches to come up with a cohesive strategy. She claimed just yesterday to be unaware that they're urging SDs to back her on the basis of the Wright videos even while they're admitting in the NYT that that's exactly what they're doing. Hillary is not running this campaign, this campaign is running her.

[Hillary is under the spell of Operation Chaos.]

I'm beginning to be troubled at our prospects for the Nov. election with Obama showing signs of imploding over the Wright business and his Farrakhan following campaign staffers.

[Gee! You mean the November election isn't a sure thing?]

I have been eating a lot of crow about the Clintons, lately, and I don't like the taste of it.

[Freudenschade, baby!]

it is amazing to me how much they have tarnished their reputation in a few months. In the beginning of all this I would have been perfectly content with Hillary. Now, I am so disgusted.

[Just a few months? This work has been in progress for decades.]

She has LOST all my respect. I cannot believe I supported them and defended them. I feel duped. They never cared... it was always about grabbing power. I'm just glad I finally woke up to their true colors.

[Only to be lulled back to mind-numbed sleep by the Obamassiah.]

Sunday, March 23, 2008

"Obama: The Biblical Prophecy"

It's Easter Sunday and the DUmmies are worshipping their messiah: Barack Obama. I kid you not. Normally atheists, agnostics, or Gaia worshippers, the DUmmies have suddently become devout Bible believers as you can see in this THREAD reverently titled, "Obama: The Biblical Prophecy." Or at least they PRETEND to be devout believers but only because they think they can fool people into worshipping/electing the ONE. However, before we begin our Obama bible study, let us now get ourselves in the proper reverent mood with this Charles Henrickson song called "I Don't Know Why I Love Him" from the musical play Barack Obama Superstar sung to the tune of I Don't Know How to Love Him:

I don't know why I love him,
My Barack, my Obama;
I've been charmed, yes really charmed,
By his trim physique, so slim and sleek--
I'm awed by his mystique.

I don't know why he's running,
I don't see any substance;
No real plan, flash in the pan,
And I've heard such empty words before
That when I close my eyes
He's just a bore.

But I like his face,
And I like his voice;
Makes my heartbeat race!
Makes me feel all moist!
I never thought I'd come to this:
Obama is my choice.

Don't you think it's rather shallow
I should vote for this fellow?
I'm the one who's always been
So pure, so pissed, so feminist;
I don't need men, oh no--
He scares me so.

But I like his face,
And I like his voice;
Makes my heartbeat race!
Makes me feel all moist!
I never thought I'd come to this:
Obama is my choice.

Yet, like in a romance novel,
I'm in love with a male model;
I've got to look!.He signed my book!
My heart runs wild! I'll bear his child!
I want the world to know:
He's my "Big O"!
Obama, go!
I love you so!

Now that you are in the proper mood, let us all watch the DUmmies worship their Obamassiah in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, thumbing through the Bible to find the Book of Obama, is in the [brackets]:

Obama: The Biblical Prophecy

[Posted a reverent DUmmie theologian.]

Obama: Breaking the barriers between Church and State.

[Perfectly acceptable but ONLY if a liberal is breaking those barriers.]

"I gave the following article to Senator Barak Obama and his wife the week after his announcement in order to encourage them and to strengthen his faith in God’s Providence. But because of the nature of the prophecy, I could not make it public."

[Did you roll the article up like a Torah scroll?]

"I am moved by the Holy Spirit that now is the time for African American Pastors across South Carolina and the South to be made aware that this is more than History."

[It's it's...liberal theology!]

"Please be kind enough to read and then disseminate . . . and may God defend the right!"

[But NOT rightwingers.]

A Biblical Rationale for the Presidential Campaign of Barak Obama by
Kenneth R. Adderley, Ph.D., M.Div., M.A.
Professor of Religion & Theology
Bethsaida Bible Institute

[Is this thesis with which you earned your theology degree?]

The devil hit us with Osama,
But God raised up Obama,
The devil hastily made a death-launching push
By stealing elections and approving Bush,
But God, whose Will is not slack,
Remembered the prophecy and raised up Barak.

Barak’s Victory (Judges 4: 3-5:15)

[I just checked the online King James and New International versions but didn't catch that Obama reference in either. Perhaps there is a DUmmie Version that I am unaware of?]

1. The next time the Bible mentions Issachar is when he moved from being a slave to becoming a soldier.

2. God’s people were fighting for their lives, and God moved upon Deborah, a prophetess and a judge (counselor) in Israel to go to Barak (same name) and encourage him to lead the fight to save the nation and the people.

3. Barak hesitated (Judges 4:8) but agreed to go if God’s prophetess would go with him to battle.

[Too bad God's prophetess isn't named Michelle. Perhaps you can rewrite that part as well.]

No worries Obama supporters. Nancy Pelosi, who is running the Convention in Denver, founded the Democratic "Christian Coalition". Obama is the ONE. HE has been chosen to bring more Evangelical Voters to the flock. To see the way. Can I get an Amen?

[The ONE? Aren't you getting The Matrix mixed up with the Bible? Only a DUmmie would think this faux theology will get Evangelical voters to support Obama. However, let us now watch the DUmmies worship the ONE...]

This could actually work on the right wingnuts

[Only if they are as brain dead as the DUmmies.]

Is this person for real?

[He's the ONE.]

Welcome your new messiah, folks!

[aka the Obamassiah.]

This sort of thing is very damaging with religious others who disagree with a coronation of a "ONE".

[Ben Burch is ONE. Are you ONE too?]

I'm just reporting the Prophecy

[From the Book of Obama.]

All of these revelations coming at us externally = VERY creepy stuff. Truth has an internal private ground. Trying to graft this of that onto it, for whatever "good" reasons, has historically resulted in many abominations.

[Shhh! Don't ruin the comedy material.]

You can dismiss this post as just the crazy ramblings of an internets tubes poster, but it IS where the Democratic Party wants to go.

[To worship the ONE. You know who.]

He is Morpheus, we are Neo, "I'm trying to free your mind, Neo. But I can only show you the door."

[I'm still trying to free my mind from the memory of that horrible sequel, The Matrix Reloaded which Al Gore REVIEWED.]

Sadly. It's where the Democratic Party wants to go

[Over the mental health cliff.]

Saying that they are trying to create a Messiah is not fair. There are religious Democrats.

[Who worship the ONE.]

not into anyone that sees themselves as an instrument of God
certainly not to build his kingdom on earth as POTUS. Wonder what his plan is for those he deems 'divisive' from his policies. May we never find out.

[The plan is to send them into Purgatory but only if the ONE is in a good mood.]

Your assertion that Obama is the "One" in a religious sense just makes me want to puke. I don't want a preacher president and neither should you. It goes against the very foundations of our democracy! Get a grip, man, Obama is not the be all to end all, he's just another politician!!

[Damn you for wanting to downgrade the ONE to the TWO.]

He has risen...

[The ONE is an early riser...especially when vacationing in St. Thomas.]

I saw a website that proved with scripture that he is the anti-Christ. Should I take that seriously?

[No but Florida is full of the anti-Crists who don't like their governor.]

Saturday, March 22, 2008

Al Gore Reviews "2001: A Space Odyssey"

(In December 2000, shortly after the U.S. Supreme court ruled that Al Gore couldn't overturn the election via an endless series of pointless recounts, he finally resigned himself to being a political loser. Since Gore's sole goal almost all his life was to become president, he needed to find a way to relieve his depressing angst. As a result, Gore found an outlet: writing movie reviews. This review was a first in a series of such reviews which lasted from the end of 2000 until nearly three years later. His reviews appeared in the now defunct Laissez Faire City Times and were thought to have been lost to posterity...until now. As his loyal typist who worked on all of Mr. Gore's movie reviews, I will be reproducing them on weekends and evenings for your perusal. Perhaps a representative of a publication (National Review? TownHall?) that I meet at the upcoming MRC Gala that I will be attending in Washington, D.C. next month will consider renewing those movie reviews. Also I can again gain employment as Al Gore's typist. As you will see, Mr. Gore's reviews encompasses not only his views on the movies but also his insightful analysis of the political situation. And now on with the movie review...)

537 votes.


Yeah, that's all that kept me from achieving the Presidency and the dream of my life ever since Da-Da planted the notion in my head while singing the "Union Label" song to me in the cradle. Hey, you wonder why that meeting I had with G.W. only lasted 15 minutes? Hell, I felt like tossing his ass right out the door as soon as he stepped in but I'm not bitter about losing so narrowly. No. I'm going on to other things without obsessing about the Presidency that I lost by only 537 Florida votes.

From now on I'll be reviewing movies. I am first doing a retrospective review of "2001: A Space Odyssey." Why am I reviewing this movie in particular? Look at the calendar and get yourself a clue, numnuts!

Anyway, when I rented this video and popped it into my VCR, I got pissed off as hell from the get-go. Not just because I'm now a mere movie reviewer rather than President of the most powerful nation on Earth. No. I was also outraged when I saw how watching this epic film on the small TV screen ruined its great visual effects. This was a movie made to be seen and experienced on the ultra wide Cinerama screen.

If I had been elected President, I would have simply ordered a special screening of "2001" at the newly restored Seattle Cinerama Theater and flown out to Washington state aboard Air Force One with my entourage to watch this film as it was meant to be viewed. Unfortunately, due to those lousy 537 votes I'm stuck here at home with only my VCR for screening purposes.

Besides being forced to watch "2001" in an incredibly reduced format, the very narrowness of the viewing area makes it difficult to watch this movie on the tube. Yeah, it's kind of hard to concentrate on the film when on one side of my field of vision I can see Tipper popping pills and on the other side there is Karenna whimpering about not being able to party in the White House. I tried to make the best of this situation by feeding Tipper a horse tranquilizer to knock her out like a light and then chewed out Karenna for not hanging out at her Manhattan pad with her wealthy husband, Dr. Sniff, instead of getting on my nerves around here by bitching about missing out on becoming a Washington Social Butterfly because her father was just 537 Florida votes shy of his Place In History.

Okay, once I got those two annoyances out of my field of vision it still didn't help matters much. Fortunately I had already seen "2001" on a Cinerama screen back in 1968 when I was still a fresh faced student at Harvard, unaware that someday the Presidency would be snatched away from me by the narrowest of margins (Is it still too late to get a Miami-Dade County recount?).

At the time, I skipped out of a few classes to make a trip down to New York to see the flick at the Cinerama theater. No big loss about the classes since I was getting by just fine with gentlemen's Cs with a few Ds thrown in. The great thing was that I was able to see "2001" in all its glory, spread out on the wide, wide Cinerama screen. The downside was that I was so preoccupied by my quest for the Presidency even back then that it was hard to focus on the movie. Even when I saw the glorious shots of space travel, all I could think of was, "I wanna be President! I wanna be President!" Therefore my concentration on this movie at the time wasn't exactly at a peak.

When the movie was over, I wasn't sure what "2001" was all about. At first I thought it was because I was concentrating too much on my future Presidency rather than the movie but it turned out that most other folks were confused as well. Despite my confusion, I was incredibly impressed by the visual effects of "2001." I remember somebody asked me what I thought of "2001" and I wanted to tell him that I thought it was a psychedelic mindblower. However, I knew Da-Da wouldn't approve of the observation because of its drug references plus I was already careful not to say anything that might prove to become detrimental in my future Presidential bid so I merely gave the guy a noncommittal remark that I thought the movie was "interesting."

But I don't have to worry anymore about what you think of my opinions. Yes, the newly liberated Al Gore with no political future at stake can tell you what he REALLY thinks without giving a damn about the consequences. So I lit up a joint and hit the "PLAY" button on my VCR remote control.

Oh wait! Are you shocked about me smoking a little dope? Hey, I want you to know that with my own hands, all of my life, I put it in the plant beds and transferred it. I've hoed it, I've dug in it, I've sprayed it, I've chopped it, I've shredded it, spiked it, put it in the barn, stripped it, sold it, and rolled it. And now, after over a dozen years of waiting, I'm gonna smoke it! Not only will smoking a doobie give me a great buzz again but it will help bring on some flashbacks of my first viewing of "2001" on the wide Cinerama screen so I'll try to keep my impressions geared to my original viewing.

Let's start with the famous opening theme music---the "2001" theme tune. No, you idiot! That is NOT what the tune is! If you're a typical Tennessee hillbilly who is so stupid as to not even vote for your home state candidate for President then that is what you probably think. Actually, the tune is "Thus Spake Zarathustra" by Richard Strauss who wrote it over a hundred years ago. Before "2001" came out, hardly anyone ever heard of this composition. Such was the power and popularity of this movie that the music became one of the most ubiquitous tunes ever heard. It's been played over and over again in other movies, TV shows, sports events, and Priceline.Com commercials. Hell, I even watched a stripper shake her hooters to the tune of that "2001" music at a Saigon bar back when I was serving my tour of duty in 'Nam.

After we are treated to the spectacular opening with the theme music and the alignment of the Sun, Earth, and Moon, we see "The Dawn Of Man" flash on the screen. Already this had me confused. I thought I was gonna see a flick about space flight so why are we going back in time? Then I figured we would see some caveman, dressed up like Charles Bronson wearing heavy makeup and animal skins, carry a club and knock Raquel Welch on the noggin like something out of "One Million Years B.C.."

Instead we see a bunch of ugly monkeys not even remotely resembling cavemen. And what a pathetic group of monkeys they were! Mostly they were scrounging around in a wasteland munching on a few leaves and drinking from an incredibly dirty mudhole. After a few scenes of watching their depressing existence I started to get impatient to see some OUTER SPACE stuff. Hey, I don't go to see a movie with "SPACE" in the title just to see some apes hopping around.

Not to worry. Soon enough the Black Monolith appears on the scene. Bottom line: Those dumb monkeys still remained pretty dumb except they learned how to use bones to club wild boars for their meat and beat the crap out of rival bands of monkeys who wanted to hog in on their precious mudhole. Little did those monkeys know that millions of years later, their human descendants in California would give up meat and revert to eating scrawny leaves again. Speaking about reverting, another group of their descendants in Palm Beach County got a bigtime case of the dumbs again by becoming too stupid to even figure out that you poke a hole in a Butterfly Ballot where the ARROW POINTS! I bet those monkeys could have figured that out even BEFORE the Black Monolith made them smarter.

After one of the enlightened monkeys used a bone to beat up a dumbshit monkey, he tosses the bone into the air for that most famous cinematic four million year segue into a space satellite. Some folks might have found this to be incredibly creative on the part of director Stanley Kubrick but to tell you the truth, I was mostly relieved that I didn't have to see any more of those damn dirty apes. Time now for the really kewl space stuff to begin. Bring on the ray guns!

Ray guns? That shows you how stupid I was. Most other directors would have just presented some standard sci-fi flick routines but Kubrick set the tone right away with long sequences of space flight techniques set to the tune of "The Blue Danube Waltz."

At this point it is interesting to compare the Kubrick 2001 of 1968 with the real 2001 as we know it. Most impressive was the fairly accurate depiction of TV screen computer graphics. In this the movie was very close to the mark. Not so close to the mark was the portrayal of a vast roomy space station. Did I say "roomy?" Cavernous is more like it. Plus it had all sorts of amenities such as lots and lots of comfy lounge chairs, large phone kiosks, and plenty of room to go jogging in a sterilely clean environment.

Contrast this to the space station situation of the real 2001. Just one tiny space station by the name of Mir, overloaded with obsolete Soviet technology and scheduled to be shitcanned into the Pacific at the end of February, 2001 due to the fact that it is a severe health hazard to anybody deluded enough to board it. Imagine the surprise of Dr. Heywood Floyd if he were to go aboard the real space station of 2001. He would have found himself crammed like a sardine into tiny quarters with a bunch of smelly Russian Cosmonauts who love nothing better than torturing visiting American Astronauts with their reeking farts and the stale stench of their hyperactive Slavic sweat glands exuding recycled borsht and garlic. And if the smell doesn't kill him then one of the numerous electrical fires aboard the Mir surely could. Such is the sad state of Space Station technology in 2001.

Even less realistic than the portrayal of the space station was the depiction of the Moon bases. Remember the Moon? It's that round thing that glows in the night sky. Believe it or not, back in 1968 when "2001" was released, the Moon was the object of our technological hopes and dreams. Little did we know back then that the Moon would end up as nothing more than a photo-op backdrop for an Astronaut demonstrating his golf swing. Perhaps we might have ended up with Moon bases if we had found anything up there worth a damn but there wasn't. All that was found on the Moon were worthless chunks of rocks for which we wasted billions of dollars to retrieve. By the way, we are now about to make the same mistake again by attempting a manned Mars mission. The only difference is that this time it will cost even more money and the worthless rocks we find there will be colored red.

So who was the big star of "2001?" It sure as hell wasn't any of those disgusting monkeys. Dr. Heywood Floyd wasn't around long enough and the two astronauts, Dave Bowman and Frank Poole, aboard the Discovery spacecraft to Jupiter weren't exactly standouts in the personality department.

The real star of "2001" has to be HAL the computer. But as out of control as HAL was, he wasn't nearly as dangerous of our current real computers. HAL might have killed off the Discovery crew but I could have lived with that. The big problem with our computers is that they never forget anything. Hell, when I got my personal AL 9000 computer, I thought I could simply delete my e-mail after I sent it out. I even went to my "DELETE" folder and removed the messages from there just to make sure they were gone. Guess what? Even after all that, the damn AL 9000 computer will STILL have your e-mail somewhere in its memory. Even if I did smash the AL 9000 hard drive like we did with Vince Foster's computer, the incriminating e-mail can STILL be retrieved from somewhere out in cyberspace. So maybe HAL killed off the Discovery crew. Most of the crew didn't even know what happened to them. Me? I've got to bite my fingernails for the next few years praying that the Grand Jury doesn't find my fund raising e-mails and sentence me to become the cell mate of Robert Downey, Jr..

Finally we get to the most controversial part of the movie. That's where Dave Bowman goes through some sort of space/time warp. I say "some sort of space/time warp" because neither I nor anyone else is even sure what the hell it is. Even Arthur C. Clarke who wrote the screenplay said you're not supposed to figure that out. Why? Because we are dealing with an intelligence so far above us that we can't even comprehend what it's all about.

Since those alien beings (or whatever they are) are as advanced above us as we are to a snail I want you to try this little experiment. Go out into your yard and find a garden snail. Then strap the snail into the front seat of your car and take it out for a ride. When the ride is over, ask the snail what happened. Do you think that stupid snail can give you any sort of answer? Of course not! So why are you bitching about something you don't even have the ability to comprehend?

If you want easy explanations then watch that crappola sci-fi flick, "Contact." They ripped off "2001" by basically copying that space/time warp (or whatever it was) Dave Bowman went through except they called it a wormhole. Then they had Ellie Arroway give a running travelogue commentary about the wormhole trip which served no purpose except to totally TRIVIALIZE the experience. There was absolutely NOTHING uplifting about the "Contact" wormhole experience. All I wanted was for Ellie to ditch her annoying yakety-yak. Then, unlike "2001," Ellie got to actually meet an alien who assumed the appearance of her dead father. And all he could tell her in response to her request as to the purpose of the intergalactic trip was something about "Little steps." Ellie should have grabbed the alien/father by his collar, bitch-slapped him across the face a few times and said, "Hey Pal! The people of my planet didn't break their economies by pouring over a trillion bucks into TWO separate projects to send me across the universe only to have you explain to me that it was for "little steps." You're going to have to give a damnside better explanation than that!"

Anyway, I think you got the point of how it's better not to really know what that whole Dave Bowman thing was all about. What actually got me a lot more curious than that was why they stocked the Discovery with the absolute CRAPPIEST TV dinners imaginable. Did you see that? Those dinners looked like colored soybean meal. Doesn't that just make your mouth water---NOT! Remind me to pack a whole bunch of frozen NY strip steaks if I ever go to Jupiter so I won't be stuck eating those awful soybean TV dinners covered with food dye.

Another reason why I didn't mind not understanding about the Dave Bowman space/time bit was that, under the influence of smoking several more doobies, that Black Monolith hovering over Jupiter began to remind me of a floating Chad just above the floor of Broward County Courthouse Ballot Counting Room. Damn what I wouldn't give for a space/time trip back a few weeks so I could campaign in Florida just one extra day! That alone would have added on more than the needed 537 votes.

I found the end of "2001" to be incredibly uplifting. What's that? You're still scratching your head in confusion? You can't figure out that the Star Child represents our final stage in evolution? So what does he do next, you wonder, after floating around the Earth in that egg thing? How the hell should I know!? Maybe he's gonna wipe Tennessee off the map or shtoop Katherine Harris. What difference does it make? If you want easy answers all neatly wrapped up at the end then go rent that pale reflection of "2001" called "Contact."

"2001: A Space Odyssey" just happens to be the BEST science fiction movie ever made. It is so magnificent that on my Chad Rating Scale of 1 to 10 Chads with 10 Chads being best, this movie fully deserves 10 Chads...except. Except that there was a minor flaw in the movie. Remember that Black Monolith the monkeys found? What happened to it? Don't you think a Black Monolith right here on Earth would be discovered a hell of a lot quicker than one buried on the moon? It's a little late to ask Stanley Kubrick about this since he croaked a couple of years ago. Due to this discrepancy, I am docking "2001" half a Chad and awarding it 9 Chads with the 9th Chad being a pregnant Chad to make it a 9 and a half Chad rating.

I hope you enjoyed my movie review and even if you didn't, you can kiss my tequatos. I don't need your lousy vote anymore.