Sunday, August 05, 2007

William Rivers Pitt QUITS DUmmieland!!!!!

Yes, you read this DUFU title right. Pied Piper Pitt has QUIT DUmmieland...again. Pitt has gone down this trail before when he quit DUmmieland for supposedly a long time only to return about 5 (or was it 3) days later. However, this time I think the Magic Man means it and not just because he asked the DUmmie Administrators to "granite-cookie" him so he can never return as you can see in his farewell THREAD titled, "Hello, I must be going." So why do I think Pitt is splitting for good this time? Several reasons. One big reason is that right now the YearlyKos KOnvention is going on. The Daily Kos is EVERYTHING that DUmmieland wishes it should be. However, despite the fact that DUmmieland originated at the beginning of 2001, about 3 years earlier than the birth of KOmmieland, they let themselves be completely rolled over by the KOmmies thanx primarily to the incredibly poor administrative abilities of Head DUmmie Skinner. Under Skinner's "leadership" the DUmmies were scammed to the tune of several hundred thousand bucks by con artist Bev Harris while Skinner remained idly standing by sucking his thumb as if he had no say-so in his own site. Skinner also was completely unable to put on the thin PR veneer that KOmmieland managed to accomplish in an attempt to portray themselves as the prime site for "responsible progressives." Instead, while KOmmieland is currently hosting many of the Democrat presidential candidates at their KOnvention, DUmmieland remains an object of ridicule almost everywhere due to the correct perception of it as being an asylum for the whackiest leftwing kooks imaginable. I mean how credible can a site forum be when it's most prominent "intellectual" posts semi-coherent drunken rantings and was involved in a huge case of journalistic fraud? Therefore this was a big part of Pitt's decision to jump ship in his DESPERATE attempt to ingratiate himself with the Democrats and finally, FINALLY be a for real political player. BTW, I sure hope Pitt isn't under the illusion that he would be welcome in KOmmieland since he is considered a laughingstock there. Of course, I would love to see Pitt make this attempt since the response from the unappreciative KOmmies would be eminently DUFUable. So let us now watch Pitt quit DUmmieland in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, promising to chronicle the exploits of the Pied Piper wherever he may be, is in the [brackets]:

Hello, I must be going...

[Goodbye, we must keep laughing...]

Yes, yes, welcome to yet another version of The Obligatory 'Goodbye DU' Thread...except not really...but yeah...only not.

[If that makes little sense to you, keep in mind that Pitt is typically PUI (Posting Under the Influence) due to too much Bukowski's brew at 4:45 in the morning.]



Usually, any self-respecting 'Goodbye DU' thread has to be all angst-riddled and pissed and sodden with raging comments like "You all suck because you don't agree with my passionate flame-thread which got locked or sent to some sub forum about Israel 9/11 Impeachment Guns Taxes Dean Gore Nader I want everything to be about Electronic Voting Ice-Shelves PETA Religion Hillary Obama Iraq Iran Fleets Blarg Fuggle Nuff Bloog Zart Yaaaaaaaaag!"

[You're doing pretty good in the pissed and sodden department, Pitt.], no. Sorry to disappoint. I'm actually not pissed. Not at all. Just tired. See, I started out here hoping I'd found like minds. For a while, I thought I had found them. For a while, I had found them. That was six years ago.

["Tired" is the polite euphemism for PUI.]

Six. F*cking. Years.

[Six. Years. Wasted.]

Amazing to say it like that. And it was amazing. And we all were assholes now and again, me and you, yeah...but assholes on the side of right for America, and we were fractious and dizzy, but to me, it felt like DU had mission and purpose.

[Only now and again? I think it was a bit more frequent than that, especially on your part, Will.]

Maybe it still does. But I don't feel it anymore. And I'm not judging when I say this. It could be me. I have my mission:

[Yes, you are judging, Pitt, and in your judgement you can't get any more mileage out of DUmmieland so you're splitting.]

[Check that link. Pitt's self-described mission is to INGRATIATE himself with the Democrats so he can finally be a political player.]

...but it seems like this was the most unpopular thing ever posted here. Cool. No stress. Seriously. It would be disheartening if anyone took this thread here as some kind of "Waaaaah, my thread didn't do well, waaaaaah" thing. God help me, not the case...but that above link had my personal mission statement in there, and it managed to prove to not be a DU kind of mission, if the comments are evidence.

[The same thread in which Pitt portrays himself as Sir Gallahad ready to take up arms for the Democrats...and not so slyly preparing the way to make his exit from DUmmieland. A process which really began a few months ago when Pitt started MISSING HIS "ANGRY"]

I make no judgments. I'm not mad. When I posted it, I'd already pretty much decided this departure needed to happen. The reaction to that thread was just a kind of "Ahhh, yes..." confirmation of what I already knew. It's pretty much a no-brainer conclusion. My mission has nothing to do with the mindset here anymore. Period. End of file. Hard to miss.

[Your departure has EVERYTHING to do with the failure of DUmmieland to advance your non-existent political career.]

Like I said: COOL. Time will tell who's right and who's awful, or whatever pejorative I've called you or you've called me, even though we're on the same side. I just don't have any more time for this place, and this place has no use for me, and you know that's true, so shhh.....

[What was that you wrote at the top about this thread not being angst-riddled?]

I have thanked this place in each book I've written, and will do so in every one to come. You are all AMAZING BLESSED PATRIOTS, and the nation will rise or fall on the heat of your breath, sort of, but only if that breath is followed up with action and muscle and tactics and precision and patience...etc. You know what the next three words are.

Thank you for everything.

[That's FOUR words, Will, but you always did like padding your writing.]

I'm at if you need to reach me. I'm going to ask the Admins to granite-cookie me, because I'm addicted, and therefore need to cut the vein-arm off at the elbow.

[Pitt is asking the Administrators to "granite-cookie" him which is like the DUmmie version of being taken off life support.]

Maybe I'm all wrong...but I know what my mission is, and I must do my best to fulfill it...and it doesn't seem to fit here anymore...and I can catch beatings in my bedroom, right?

[Beatings in your bedroom? Enough with your lonely personal life.]

I love you guys. Kick ass, take names, chew gum.

[Stay drunk.]


[Rest In Peace. And now to hear from the rest of the DUmmies bid adieu to Pitt as he slowly sinks beneath the waves...]

Ojala que te vaya bien.

[Adios a nuestro borracho.]

You and NanceGreggs are two of the pillars that hold this crazy place up...

[Sniff! One of the asylum pillars has fallen down.]

Awwwwwe... Too bad, so sad, your choice. I won't lose any sleep over it... Better check that ego, too... Maybe a "time out" is a good thing in this case...

[A "time out" of 24 business hours?]

At least Will isn't a habitual asshole in every single thread he posts in.

[Only in 99% of them and in the other 1% he is just doing copy and paste threads.]

We won't have William Pitt to kick around any more

[Don't worry. The DUmmie FUnnies will have William Pitt to kick around always.]

God dammit Will you f*cker don't do this! You can't leave. I don't agree with you on everything but you can't just f*cking leave. NO you f*cker you may NOT leave. Go to bed, sleep it off (I'm on my second vodka martini myself after working at the bar all f*cking night...I can't feel my f*cking feet right now...) But come back god dammit! You will bloody well not leave!

[Big deal. Pitt is on his FIFTH vodka martini after working at the bar all night.]

Hopefully this is a time-out, Will...we all need one now and then...and that you have many other important things in the "real world" where your talents and determination can do some very positive, construtive things.

[Perhaps Will can find a job in the "real world" stabbing Dennis Kucinich in the back again as his press secretary.]

There is a revolving door effect here at DU. Sometimes you run out of it screaming only to find you're right back in the lobby again.

[That's what happened in the previous Pitt Split. Pitt split only to return via the revolving door within 24 business hours.]

Yeah, OK. Whatever you say, Pitt. "Granite-cookie" you. Sure. Right.

[When Pitt finds out that there is NO job for him with the Democrats, you will find him selling granite-cookies on Boston streetcorners...or at Newton schoolyards.]

You sure said you're not mad a lot. Sure about that?

[About as sure as not being angst-riddled.]

Can I still say that goodbye threads are for attention seekers in search of "please stay!" replies?

[You may and you may also be pleased to recieve a Kewpie Doll for having a brief moment of mental clarity.]

This place is not the same anymore and your absence will make it even more not the same. I don't know if it's the DLC invasion or the upcoming elections or maybe just frustration with the Dems but this place has changed.

[It's the fact that KOmmieland is now stealing all the glory that DUmmieland wishes it had but doesn't thanx in large part to the incredibly poor administrative abilities of Head DUmmie Skinner.]

You will always hold the record for _spectacularly_ trashing this board..., it's administrators and users, the most number of times and still being allowed to continue posting here.

[Yet another example of Skinner's horrible administrative abilities.]

I suspect that the last post was written after a few drinks of alcohol.

[An excellent suspicion about ALL of Pitt's posts.]

We will all grieve in our own way.

[LOL! This DUmmie posted a pic of a champagne bottle popping right after that statement.]

Hey! Wait a minute! You can't get rid of me that easily!
I'm not going anywhere. Having said that, I completely understand his decision (I was not consulted, BTW). He has a lot to do and there is a great deal of wasted energy on this Board. I've been here since almost the beginning and things have changed. This Board used to be a place where you could test an idea without getting flamed and I know that Will did a lot of that. I can remember when he would post a draft of a Truthout essay here for people to critique and folks here would give him wonderful ideas and good faith criticism. DU is now less a place for constructive debate and more a place for insults and temper tantrums.

[That was Mama Pitt, DUmmie Raven, performing body slams against DUmmieland for her little Sonny Boy. And now more from Mama Pitt...]

The sad thing is that this is a time when we need every good mind and it is a loss to all of us when even one decides to go. But, a little less talk and a little more action is needed at this critical time in our country's life. We all need to get off the keyboard and out onto the street, that is where the action is, not here. All we seem to do here these days is talk and fume and swear and stamp our collective feet. Wasted energy, totally wasted energy.

[Mama Pitt lecturing the DUmmies about stepping away from their keyboards and pizza cartons in order to DUAC! We return again to Mama Pitt on the soapbox...]

So I'll hang around and watch my posts about getting out and doing something sink like a stone. I'll watch my posts about what regular folks are saying and thinking languish because many people here haven't got a clue. When some posters here advocate economic disaster as a means of political reform I scratch my head and think about the folks I meet every week who are working two jobs to keep food on the table. I think about people my age relying on their retirement funds for their future. Yup, you really have to have your finger on the pulse of this country to want an economic collapse. Clueless.

[More body slamming against DUmmieland from Mama Pitt. And now the conclusion of her sermonette...]

So folks here won't have Will Pitt to kick around anymore and it's going to be....boring!

[Almost as boring as a Pied Piper Pitt post.]

I remember that...we oldies here remember when Will first started.....Goodness.....really what has happened to this place?.......

[Skinner allowed the place to go down into the DUmps which is why you are not now seeing Democrat presidential candidates visiting a YearlyDUmmie convention.]

I saw you posted this at 4:30 this am.....

[The hour when Will is mostly strongly under the influence of the Bukowski Magic Potion.]

Come back when you get a better understanding of the world.

[I gather that you never want to see the return of the Pittster.]

You really are an attention whore.

[A DUmmie wearing a clear pair of glasses.]


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Pitt's leaving the DUmp! Congrats PJ! I have no doubt that your exposure of Pitt's drunken rants, incoherent posturing, and endless self-promotion has even his fellow DUmmies questing his sanity.

Pitts finally realizes that he is not the Queen of the Ball and has decided that his ego can not take any more rejections so he is running away. Too bad he's only running away from himself as no matter where he goes, there he is.

11:15 AM  
Blogger Son Of The Godfather said...

Can I still say that goodbye threads are for attention seekers in search of "please stay!" replies?

That one somes it up best...

You really are an attention whore.

Ooops, my bad! HA!

OK, Let's get a DUFU pool going here... I'm taking 8 (business) days before the next Pitt post.

5:47 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I bet 12 (business) days.

-- Rodolfo --

6:39 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi Will. Let me ask you here since I would get banned at the dump for this, and I'm down to only 3 moles at the moment.

Will, is that Raving broad really like a Norman Bates thing? I mean yo momma, she don't exist except for in you fevered brain, right?

11:35 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I feel the same horrible angst and panic I felt when I saw a fraudulint story of Fidel dying. Or when I found out the great Molly Ivins passed on.


11:46 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


Oh, please! Like you need an excuse.

12:53 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


Oh, please! Like you need an excuse.

12:53 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

After 2-3 sentences... Pitts ramblings start to 'sound' like charlie browns teacher... yet another phony liberal with a false sense of aristocracy. BTW.. when molly ivins died..the clouds parted and the sun beamed down on AMERICANS.

1:53 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

He'll be back. There's always the Temporary Sockpuppet

11:50 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home