Friday, April 27, 2012

OccuPoet Misty: "The Huff and Puff of My Frustration"


Prog Spring of 2012 continues. Today we meet OccuPoet Misty Rowan of Minneapolis, who will grace us with one of her poems. Misty came to my attention via this THREAD in DUmmieland, "Our Amazing Occupy Poet!" I watched the video, and yes, I was amazed . . . at what passes for poetry with the OWSies and the DUmmies.

And seeing Misty of Minneapolis, I was reminded of Ted of New York. You know, Trust Fund Ted? Ted Hall, Tedward, Edward Twitchell Hall III, Flea-bagger Ted, Our Favorite OWSie. Remember when we introduced you to Ted "Help us now!" Hall last fall?


You see, Ted is a poet, too. Now if only we could get Ted and Misty together! Shaggy would have his Velma! Ted Hall and Misty Rowan: It would be Rowan and Moron's Laugh-In!


But this is Misty's day. Misty has her own BLOG, where she goes by the blog-handle, "MissTeaTree." Here's a little about her: "I live in Mpls, I listen to Ani DiFranco and I voted for Cynthia McKinney in the last presidential election. I am a member of the anti-war committee (.org) and in my time that's less than free I bag groceries at my local foods co-op. I consider poetry to be a performance-based, storytelling medium, so most of my stuff is spoken word. To me, art and activism are the same thing." (She bags groceries at her local foods co-op? So she's a Brie-bagger?)

So let us now be amazed and amused at the art and activism of OccuPoet Misty Rowan, in Bolshevik Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, the wag tailoring the doggerel, Charles Henrickson, inviting you now to click the link to the VIDEO and . . . wait for it . . . play Misty for me . . . is in the [brackets]:

The Huff and Puff of My Frustration

[The Stuff I Puff for Recreation]

(Laughs) It's not fair. If I were to punch you, as hard as I could, I would sprain my own wrist. You would maybe notice, as I reduced myself to tears. So instead I use my words. And I'll tell you one thing: This mouth? Never got me in a fight it didn't right-and-the-f*** get me back out of. You see, I said I use my words instead. And it's been working (so far).

[(Laughs) It's not fair. If I were to do poems for you, as bad as mine are, you would slit your own wrist. You would maybe notice, as you tried to cover your ears, that I don't use meter or lines or rational thought. So instead, I just talk real fast. And I'll tell you one thing: This mouth? It's a poety potty mouth. I throw in a "f***" or a "sh*t" here and there to express my free-floating angst. Then I add something hopeful-sounding at the end. And it's been working (so long as I'm talking to the far left).]

But, they're bailing out the banks again, those leeches with their fees. So the question then becomes: How much is your money worth? Depends. How much have ya got? Not a lot? Oh, that's okay, baby girl! You too could still be president. Just get in line, and we'll call you. And in the meantime, try to find a job worth a damn to do, because the rent is due, and you're not getting any younger, and these cards aren't exactly stacked in your favor. I said, get a clue, and pay attention, because the undercurrent is ever changing in its direction.

[But, I'm flailing at the banks again, those rich guys with toupees. 'Cause the question I want to avoid is: How much is our money worth? Depends. How much are we in debt? Quite a lot? Oh, that's okay, liberal! You should still vote for our president. Just get in line, and we'll fool you. And in the meantime, try to keep up with this poem, because I'm not half through, and it's not getting any less longer, and these words aren't exactly arranged in coherent order. I don't have a clue, so pay attention, because my underwear is starting to cause me irritation.]

And you wanna stay ahead of that game. You want that spot on top of the food chain, don't ya? Everybody's so busy looking out for #1, and then they wonder why they feel so all alone. So many skin and bones, while the top 1% clench their law enforcement fist so tight that you have the right to work until you die in this country, and that's about it. Now pay your bills and buy some sh*t. And don't forget to check your credit score.

[And you wanna have someone to blame. You got hate to fill up a freight train, don't ya? Everybody's so busy lashing out at the 1%, and then we ought to whine about our student loan. So many can't afford smartphones, while the top 1% won't raise a finger to assist our plight, and you have no right to make me work to buy things in this country, so let's throw a fit. Now pay my bills while I smoke some sh*t. And don't leave yet, because there's even more.]

And it gets harder to ignore when they're coming right for ya. But these folks, they just don't care anymore. You can change the channel if it bores ya. Me, I threw out my TV. People gotta tell me when I'm on it. People gotta explain the whole commercial, 'cause I never catch the reference. Man, I got better things to see. And I understand that time is precious. Mine is spent in reverence of this occupation, because I am in love with it, I am in love with it. I just. . . .

[So don't go running out the door when I'm going on forever. But some folks, they just can't take anymore. You can slit your other wrist if I bore ya. Some, they throw up hearing me. People often tell me that they vomit. People gotta exclaim and beg for mercy, 'cause I never catch a second breath. Man, I got better things to do than breathe. And I like to think that time is meaningless. Mine is spent irrelevant of close calculation, because I am in love with the sound of my voice, I am in love with it. I just. . . .]

(Deep breath) I need to learn how to slow down and just appreciate this moment. This one, 'cause it's all there is. And then I'm off again, forgetting. And I'm looking up again, and I'm searching for the lines that I had memorized, so that I--so that, well, so that I could think about something else.

[(No breath) I refuse to learn how to slow down and just approximate a regular poet. It's fun, 'cause I'm such a whiz. And then I'm off again, forever. And I'm looking at folks getting up again, and I'm searching for the ones that I can mesmerize, so that I--so that, well, so that I could speak about something else.]
Sometimes I feel helpless. Like I have a needle but no thread, so it's no good. I can only manage the damage. Sometimes I'm the subject of this charade, and some days I'm just its contents, that is displayed as a series of statistics--and yes, I am sometimes Y. So what of it? And what difference does it make when you die?

[Sometimes I feel clueless. Like I have a noodle but no bread, so it's no food. I can only mangle the language. Sometimes I'm a poet who sounds clichéd, and some days I'm just a moonbat, that is displayed as one serious yet simplistic--and yes, I am out of time. So what of it? And what difference does it make where I rhyme?]

Well, I want a government that practices something like the "take a penny, leave a penny" system. And there will come a day, but either way I'm for that rain-or-shine type of activism: the committed, who don't shed their tears but collect them, weaving them into meaningful tales. We tell each other stories of bravery and compassion to keep ourselves warm, to keep our hearts burning.

[Well, I want a government that practices something like the "take the booty from the snooty" system. From there will come our pay, but either way I'm for that soak-the-rich type of socialism: the dim-witted, who don't pay their taxes but collect them, receiving them into buckets and pails. We tell each other stories of slavery and oppression to keep ourselves mad, to keep our hate burning.]

And I'll tell you another thing: It's you, me, and everybody. So don't go making enemies, 'cause you can't win. Instead, it's time to start talking to these strangers, our neighbors. It's time to start caring for each other again. Call it community, call it an occupation, call it revolution if you wanna. Just get on it! Ten years ago woulda been a good place to start. Now will do. Or, at least I think we can all agree that now is the very best we can do.

[And I'll tell you another thing, and another, and another. So don't go making for the exit, 'cause I'm not done. Instead, it's time to start talking even longer, for hours. It's time to start wearing out my welcome again. Call it prolixity, call it a bloviation, call it regurgitation if you wanna. Just don't vomit! Ten years ago mighta been the time I began to start. I'm not through. Or, at least I think we can all agree that June is the very earliest I can do.]

So come with me and take heart. I got some New Year's resolutions and a good idea where to start. I got some friends on the inside, the outside, the flipside, and the best part is that you decide your place in this world, okay? You decide. So let's start. Because to build a better world, all you really gotta do . . . is your part.

[So come with me and smoke pot. I got some stashed inside my backpack and a good idea it's a lot. I got some friends from the insane, the profane, the birdbrain, and the upshot is that we complain about our place in this world, okay? Sweat and strain? No, let's not. Because to build a better world, all you really gotta do . . . is jack squat.]

43 Comments:

Blogger TANSTAAFL said...

" I voted for Cynthia McKinney in the last presidential election."

It's rare that you get to see the Barking Moonbat in the wild.

5:36 PM  
Anonymous Corona said...

Mary Mary quite contrary
How does your garden grow?
With silver bells and cockleshells
And an acre and a half of Killer Shit!

5:58 PM  
Anonymous The ULTIMATE Man said...

Misty has her own BLOG, where she goes by the blog-handle, "MissTeaTree." Here's a little about her: "I live in Mpls, I listen to Ani DiFranco and I voted for Cynthia McKinney in the last presidential election."

The female Troglafuck...swell....

7:56 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

ZZZZZZ-wha, oh its over. That was the best movie, puppet show, or poem, or whatever it was. Now where is the head and lets go home!

10:24 PM  
Blogger MissTeaTree said...

Wow. What an ignorant fuck you are. Don't like it? How about don't post it on your own blog just because you don't have an independent thought in your head.

Write you're own blog posts (and yes, your poetry does suck ass))

10:31 PM  
Blogger MissTeaTree said...

From your dumb ass bio : I am a 30,000 year old reincarnated being who materializes once every 5000 years in a Las Vegas hotel suite.

And I smoke pot?

10:34 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Do you do anything else, Ms can't take it.

11:06 PM  
Blogger el polacko said...

so when she is not making her art, stopping wars, or humbling herself as a bagger at the co-op, what does she do to earn money??
trust fund baby? or just another sucker at the government teat, drinking the milk that i'm providing?

11:12 PM  
Anonymous Kirk Johnson said...

WOW! Looks like someone struck a nerve with Mz. Teabaggee!

2:10 AM  
Anonymous Jerome Goolsby said...

MissTeaTree the Barking Moonbat said...

From your dumb ass bio : I am a 30,000 year old reincarnated being who materializes once every 5000 years in a Las Vegas hotel suite.

And I smoke pot?


You probably do smoke pot...too bad, because you could have used the money you've spent becoming a worthless stoner idiot to instead buy a sense of humor.

2:39 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

As poetry goes, this one manages to embody progressive thought pretty well:

1. No meter, awkward structure, spotty and random rhyme scheme, indicating little to no effort put into it.

2. Free-floating anger that exalts its own helplessness.

3. It's all about "ME, ME, ME" (the word "I" appears 36 times).

4. The parts that are not about "ME ME ME" are about telling other people what to do.

6:43 AM  
Blogger MissTeaTree said...

Hey retard. I bag groceries. A+ for reading comprehension.

Why don't you get a job, idiot.

7:57 AM  
Blogger MissTeaTree said...

That was so funny. You must have gone to grad school.

7:58 AM  
Blogger MissTeaTree said...

You people astound me. You've heard of writing in the first person right? They teach that sort of thing in schools out in Backwaters USA, don't they?

Thank you for this view into the lives of pathetic, humorless hacks. I feel much better about myself knowing you hate my work. That means its working.

8:02 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I believe this poetic Dumbass is part of an illegal alien invasion. There are reasons for this belief. 1) She/it voted for Cyntia McKinney for President. Illegal aliens vote Democrat, which is why the Democrats don't want honest elections where only eligible citizens vote.
2)Her/its Poetry is eerily reminiscent of Vogon poetry which, according to the prophetic historian Douglas Adams, is the third worst poetry in the universe. A sample of Vogon poetry is given in Adams' Hitchhiker's Guide: "Oh freddled gruntbuggly ... thy micturations are to me/ As plurdled gabbleblotchits on a lurgid bee..." Do you see the similarity between Misty's poetry and the poetry of the Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz? MissTeaTree is possibly a scout for the Vogon invasion of Earth.

8:04 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You people astound me. You've heard of writing in the first person right?

Certainly, since unlike a poet/blogger/activist/grocery bagger, I write professionally. It also means I know the difference between poetry and histrionic diatribes fueled by overly-coddled white-girl angst.

I feel much better about myself knowing you hate my work. That means its working.

Hate? Why would anyone waste perfectly useful hatred on the likes of this? Hate must be earned. Lazy poet-activists just get derision.

9:13 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

How to translate Miss Tea Tree:

"I can mock society but don't you DARE mock me! What I do is IMPORTANT."

Insert an F-bomb or two in there and it would be indistinguishable from the original.

10:00 AM  
Anonymous mowowie said...

I Like her.
She's Cute and she has Spunk.



It's too bad about the moonbat part though.....

2:08 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

She also has a pretty thick neck with budging veins.

If only all that youthful exuberance could be channeled into something remotely useful.....

4:38 PM  
Blogger 98ZJUSMC said...

Other than bagging groceries, you mean?

Typical prog. Working in an environmentally unfriendly occupation. Tsk, tsk.

Need to work on that Tourettes. Most unbecoming for such an educated grocery bagger.

Alright....Alright.....I'm laughing way too hard to continue....

Grocery bagger. There I go again...

5:56 PM  
Blogger 98ZJUSMC said...

That means its working.

Like when you bring your grocery bagger self over here to be ridiculed?

Like that, right?

You're the latest freak, thrust into this amplitheater for our amusement, little doorknob. Really. You are nothing, but a laughable diversion.


Yeah so, how is grad school going?

6:05 PM  
Anonymous 1% wannabe said...

Hey, don't knock her "poetry" She is so far advanced of us non grocery baggers that we cannot hope to understand. And to top it off, She voted for dear old cynthis!

9:59 PM  
Blogger John said...

"They teach that sort of thing in schools out in Backwaters USA, don't they?"

When angered, the wild Commie Poetess will lash out at those she supposedly champions, such as the rural poor.

Hypocrisy sucks! :(

2:49 AM  
Anonymous Kirk Johnson said...

"I feel much better about myself knowing you hate my work."

~Self-professed G-Bagger poetry chick.

Sweetie, we don't hate you or your work! If anything, it's pity we feel towards you and your... craft.

But, I have to ask- why all the hate? Why not redirect that energy towards something productive, something that you could actually earn money by doing? Then you wouldn't have to mope around in a cloud of jealous rage all the time!

6:16 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

John said:
When angered, the wild Commie Poetess will lash out at those
she supposedly champions, such as the rural poor.

Hypocrisy sucks!



Excellent catch, John. And spot on.

8:08 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Miss Tree Grabber opines (look it up, Misty):
"Write you're [sic] own blog posts"
"That means its [sic] working."

All the while lecturing us on how uneducated WE are. ROFL.

10:50 AM  
Anonymous Jerome Goolsby said...

MissTeaTree The Moonbat said...

"Thank you for this view into the lives of pathetic, humorless hacks. I feel much better about myself knowing you hate my work. That means its working."


Considering you don't have a sense of humor, coming on this blog and calling the posters humorless has identified you as a narcissistic self-aggrandizing publicity whore. Congratulations on the accomplishment.

Now, go find something constructive and worthwhile to do rather than being a Moonbat if that is possible for someone of your so far extremely limited social skills.

11:06 AM  
Anonymous Adam said...

LOL! Great parody of that talentless idiot's brain- dead excuse for poetry!
Oh, and even better is having he talentless idiot in question then coming here and, outraged at us daring to laugh at her asinine ramblings, begin to troll this thread! She further reveals what a hypocrite she is, claiming to be all about being a voice for teh oppressed even as she uses "Retard" as an insult and goes on to insult people who live in rural areas.
Hey, Misty, grow a sense of humor. While you're at it, growing some talent might help, too. That, and getting the colossal stick out of your butt.

8:43 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ah, come on, everybody... lighten up on Misty... she's enjoying her fifteen minutes of fame, as well as establishing her Liberal street cred... She wasn't trying to convince you of anything, her schtick was based solely for the choir she already belongs to... She probably wants to be a Youtube star... Her wife must be as proud as hell of her...

12:57 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Anonymous Anonymous said...
"Her wife must be as proud as hell of her..."
12:57 PM

That's "life partner".

9:32 PM  
Anonymous The Gilly said...

Well I don’t know about you, but in my last poetry class (though a while ago) we weren’t allowed to use any form of structure of verse or meter. It’s a different style. So saying the poetry fails at it would be like eating a red delicious apple and saying it would make a terrible apple pie. It’s not a granny smith, it’s a different kind of apple altogether.

As for the content, taking shots at a person’s character without proof is a weak argument. It won’t take long to find proof of being a pot head, if it’s there, just look at Edwards' infidelity. Parts of this poem are about being fiscally responsible, and reducing the ways the government is in our lives. That doesn’t seem all that moon batty to me. There are other parts about coming together as people ruled nation, like Americans and getting our voices heard rather than just the whiny special interests buying the politicians. Maybe I just read it differently.

Though,mowowie your right about the spunk, she certainly has that.

12:37 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The Gilly has a point. Just recently I was able to observe a second grade classroom that was starting a unit on poetry. They studied poetry that had no specific form also.

However they were WEEKS away from the level of quality that Miss Tea Tree was producing.

Maybe even months.

4:13 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

On Passion and the Arts
(a free verse)

I gave five bucks to a hobo.
But since I gave him five, he figured I could have given him twenty. Hobo-logic, I guess.
A sight to behold, the rage of the hobo.
He shit in his hand and
I mean, seriously
Right there, in his hand
And threw it against my front door.
The echoing cackle-rage of the hobo.

I went to get the hose
Not wanting hobo-shit stinking up my porch
And also to soak the hobo if he came back, because,
I mean, seriously.
My liberal neighbor stopped me, though
He's not a hobo himself, though
He dresses enough like one that you'd be forgiven the mistake.

"Don't wash it, you should frame that," said my liberal neighbor.
"But it's hobo-shit," I said.
"Nonsense," said my neighbor, pointing at a lump that was dribbling toward my keyhole, which would be a real pain to clean out,
I mean, seriously.
"Look at the power and boldness of the presentation -- you can tell this artist had a lot of passion!"
"He had that," I agreed. "Also, apparently, corn."

7:28 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

TeaTree...You ain't a poet and you know it!!!!

9:40 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Anonymous 7:28 PM...

That was righteous, and solid, and right-on, and heavy.

Hey! More terms that made it into the lexicon.

11:08 PM  
Anonymous troglaman said...

"Thank you for this view into the lives of pathetic, humorless hacks. I feel much better about myself knowing you hate my work. That means its working." tea

Keep on truckin, tea. Here's you culture war right here. Don't dismiss these chimps. According to Gallup, it's still 50-50...amazing though it is. Even when you make an argument you can't lose, you'll have a ton of takers. Low levels of brain cheese is epidemic around here.

But these dumb jackasses don't see it that way. They just don't. And you, tea, must help teach them...to make an effective Rapture machine. They can't seem to pull this off.

Didn't Kevorkian make one, for God's sake? How hard can this be?

BTW, tea, getting them to move to the Randian paradise of Somalia would be an added plus.

12:30 AM  
Anonymous The ULTIMATE Man said...

Makes sense you'd completely understand and side with your female twin, Troglafuck you racist fucking fuckwad.

Coming on here drunk and/or stoned is a fucked up way to go through life, Troglafuck, you stupid fucking fuckwad. But no one expects a fucking racist coward like you to have the guts to face the real world.

FOAD, Troglafuck.

2:48 AM  
Anonymous envisio said...

Trog, let me guess.... you have alot of cats, right? And you eat alot of yogurt out of those little fruity cups?

9:07 AM  
Anonymous Jerome Goolsby said...

Close, enviso...

Troglaman The Guttersnipe doesn't eat yogurt, he pounds down Everclear by the liter. Straight Everclear by the way.

He's also a linguini-spined Moonbat which explains his ability to power-slam his head up his ass so easily.

11:51 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Feel free to check out the latest "brilliance" of Misty the Moonbat.

http://missteatree.blogspot.com/2012/05/blog-drama.html

11:55 PM  
Anonymous troglaman said...

"Trog, let me guess.... you have alot of cats, right? And you eat alot of yogurt out of those little fruity cups?" Big Screen TV

Yogurt can be an effective treatment for various yeast infections. And I, troglaman, know this because I wear Birkenstocks all year 'round. I have a cat. And a dog. I prefer the ancient teachings of the pagan god Isis and occasionally eat dirt and bark...maybe a grub or two now and then.

You have a problem with that?

1:04 AM  
Anonymous envisio said...

"""You have a problem with that?"""

Of course not, you can be a fag if you want to.

8:17 AM  
Anonymous troglaman said...

"Of course not, you can be a fag if you want to." Big Screen TV

Are you like 12 or something? Go to bed.

11:25 PM  

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