"Guts" Grayson drops "In" to fleece the DUmmies
Looney Tunes Leftie Alan Grayson is a GOD in DUmmieland! And the defeated one-term congressman from Outlandish, Florida, has just announced that he will TRY AGAIN in 2012. This sent a buzz through DUmmieland like you wouldn't believe! And then, lo and behold, The Man himself showed up, in the DUmp, to greet the faithful! It's like a rock star--no, a movie star--dropping by to pay a visit on the little people!
But in reality, Alan "Guts" Grayson just dropped in to . . . FLEECE THE DUMMIES! Yes, he didn't actually INTERACT with these morans, he just stopped by to take their money! And they fell for it, of course, even though a) almost none of the DUmmies live in his district, and b) "Guts" really has little chance of winning. But he will manipulate them with a sob story, talk tough, and gladly take their pizza money! Hee! Hee!
The anticipation builds with this THREAD, "Alan Grayson To Run For Office Again," and then the excitement reaches a climax as The Great One himself arrives in this THREAD, "I'm In. Are You?"
So let us watch as Guts fleeces the Gullible, in Bolshevik Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, somehow not moved to donate to Mr. Guts, is in the [brackets]:
Alan Grayson To Run For Office Again
[REALLY? CAN THIS BE TRUE??]
On Monday, Grayson said he doesn't plan to do anything different.
[He's planning to lose again?]
He said he's running again because of all the people who have reached out and asked him to. Grayson already raised nearly $100,000 in donations before filing his paperwork on Monday.
[Of those two sentences, which do you think is the real reason?]
"We need somebody who's gonna stick up for what's right. Somebody with guts," Grayson said.
[Somebody who's NUts! Which makes him PERFECT to take money from the DUmmies!]
Run like the wind, Alan!
[Break the wind, Alan!]
[OH BOY OH BOY OH BOY!!!]
Primary Obama please.
[IMPEACH Obama please!]
Makes me want to move to O-Town!
[DUmmies now will move en masse to O-Town, JUST to vote for Gutsie!]
I would support Grayson for President, Senator, Congressman, Governor, Dogcatcher, you name it.
[All at once!]
DU- let's all try to do what we can to get him back into office. Ok?
good luck to him, but didn't he get swamped last time out?
Just made my contribution. I'm feeling pretty happy for a change.
[And he'll feel pretty happy with YOUR change!]
I live in Indiana and I am moving to Vancouver in two weeks but..
[Now I've decided to move to O-Town instead!]
MY DONATION IS ON IT'S WAY before I go. Give them hell Allan. Pound these right wing f***ers into submission. DO NOT PLAY NICE. Fight them with everything you have. Don't be afraid to get down and dirty with these c*ck suckers.
[The only part Gutsie cares about there is "MY DONATION IS ON ITS WAY."]
Great! Does he have a brother for me?
[DUmmie EFerrari, Doug's ex-wife, is looking for a new man. Good news, Beth! Gutsie's brother, "Bowels" Grayson, is available!]
I will donate what I can no matter what, but I do think Grayson's loose language hurts him.
[Only with voters! But it ENDEARS him to you DUmmie loosers! . . . But wait! What's this? . . .]
I'm In. Are You?
[You're "in"?? Well, who are YOU, pray tell?]
[YOU'RE KIDDING! **THE** ALAN GRAYSON?? OMG! OMG! O M G !!! I can't breathe! I'm wetting my pants!! ALAN GRAYSON IS ON DU, TALKING TO US!!!!!!!!!]
I’m in. I’m running for Congress.
[OH JOY! WE'RE SAAAAVED!!!!!!!!!]
I’m running because I promised Charlaina and Rick that I would. Charlaina called me a few weeks ago, from the hospital. She told me that her husband, Rick, was suffering from multiple organ failure – lungs, kidneys and liver.
[A sob story! That'll work to separate the DUmmies from their money! Hey, it worked before! (The Andy fundraiser.)]
She said: “You can run again.” “You are the only person who ever cared about people like us."
I’m in. And I’m going to need your help. Are you in?
[Alan says: I'm in . . . your pocket!]
Go here to contribute to my campaign. . . .
[Somehow I knew that was coming.]
[Well, Gutsie has spoken. Now let's hear from the joyous throng . . .]
I'm in. I love this asshole.
[Is that you, benburch?]
I believe that Grayson has the balls to make a difference.
[Guts Grayson makes the All-Anatomy Team.]
Yeah. Go for it! And BTW: Single. Payer. Right. Now.
[DUmmie. Donor. Right. Now.]
Count me in.
You got it, Alan. I'm here for you. I'm so glad you're in! Will you run for President?
[Oh, I'm sure Alan will be back on in a minute to answer all your questions, CaliforniaPeggy. We'll keep an eye out for him, for when he comes back to chat with everyone. I'm sure it won't be long now. But in the meantime, please get out your checkbooks, and it's G - R - A - Y . . . .]
All I can offer is moral support.
[What are you, some kind of fundie freeper?? DUmmies only offer IMMORAL support!]
don't know for sure if I can donate if things keep going in this same direction. I will work for him, though, wholeheartedly.
[Look, Gutsie would rather you STAY AWAY from actual voters, lest you scare them off. But . . . JUST. SEND. M O N E Y ! Got it? Send it!]
You may be an asshole, but you're OUR asshole.
[Guts Grayson, DUmmieland's Asshole!]
I will support you by donating to your campaign when I can.
["When I can"?? What kind of support is THAT?? Support Gutsie even when you CAN'T! Who cares if you have to eat dog food? SEND MONEY!]
Man alive, how we've missed you and your voice. I for one feel like I am on an island surrounded by water and wrapped in an electric fence.
[Put your money in a bottle and send it over this way!]
No politician ever has made me feel like Grayson has.
[Obama will get jealous, Chrissy!]
Run, Alan, Run!!!
[Give, DUmmie, Give!!!]
That's really good news, Mr Grayson. Thank you for caring about people.
[Say, speaking about caring about people, I notice that Mr. Grayson has not yet come back on this thread to actually interact with you people. I mean, he posted his announcement about running again, he gave you the sob story, he gave you the place where you can SEND HIM MONEY, but, but . . . oh, ALAN! . . . GUTSIE! . . . Where ARE yooooou??? . . . Well, I'm sure he's out helping some poor unfortunate soul, fighting for us, speaking truth to power and all that, and so, so he must just be momentarily detained. . . . It's not like he would just stop by here to get some money out of us or anything and then just. . . . and then just. . . . Oh, ALAAAAN!!]
Here's a link to Grayson's new website with a donate button. . . .
[Alan Grayson is just $10 away from speaking truth to power again! But he needs your help! He needs your MONEY! DU it for that sick guy Alan mentioned somewhere up above! So click that button NOW! Button people are standing by. . . .]