Tuesday, November 02, 2010

DUmmies Pray Blue Fairy Saves Them From Election Disaster

Remember that annoying flick "A.I."("Artificial Intelligence") where robot boy David went on a long search to beg the Blue Fairy to make him a real boy? Well, that is what this DUmmie David Zephyr THREAD, "On the eve of the election, I do not see gloom and doom. Here's why," reminds me of. Yes, the DUmmies are desperately seeking out their own Blue Fairy to reassure them that there won't be a Republican onslaught at the polls today. Of course, one big difference from the movie is that while "AI" kept on going endlessly with little intelligence and a completely artificial tacked on ending, in the case of the DUmmies, their endless whining is actually quite entertaining. So let us now watch the DUmmies pray to the Blue Fairy in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, noting that the movie should have mercifully ended with David yakking to the Blue Fairy under the sea instead of that completely artificial ending with that ET crap, is in the [brackets]:

On the eve of the election, I do not see gloom and doom. Here's why:

[Blue Fairy? Please...please, please make me into a real live boy. Please...Blue Fairy? Please...please...make me real. Blue Fairy? Please, please make me real. Please make me a real boy. Please, Blue Fairy, make me into a real boy. Please...]

Democrats are turning out in high numbers for this mid-term election. That's now an established fact. Early voting is going our way. Republicans have shot their wad early and we continue to keep showing up to the polls and voting. Every day that passed was a day in our favor.

[Claimed Baghdad Bob, now reporting from DUmmieland.]

The lack of cell phone polling makes the establishment poll numbers skewed. That's a fact.

[Actually it would skew it to favor Democrats, many of whom are still wedded to their landlines.]

Young people are once again, bucking the conventional wisdom, and are actively participating in this election, establishing a very positive trend. And that's not good news for the GOP.

[You were able to set up voting booths at the Goth clubs?]

Latino voting is up this year again. The GOP attempt to suppress their votes has failed.

[And the Latino running for Senator from Florida as well as the Latino running for Governor from Nevada are both doing very well.]

LBGT Americans are not thrilled with the GOP, but will be showing up overwhelmingly and voting Blue.

[They have cast their ballot for a certain Congressional Blue Fairy from MA.]

The GOP and their Tea Party crowd are at each other's throats.

[Sorry but the non-tea party GOPers were cast out months ago in Florida and Alaska.]

Democrats have far better and longer established GOTV organizations on the ground.

[And a big chunk of them wasted a crucial weekend by attending that Rally to Restore Democrats in DC.]

Finally, I expect another "Reverse Bradley" effect, where a citizen will say one thing publicly and vote another way privately. They may tell a pollster that they are pissed off, and they may tell everyone around them they are voting Republican, but when they are alone, they may do just the opposite as reason prevails.

[Or there could be the "Double Reverse Bradley with a Backflip" effect.]

Americans have not forgotten who caused the economic mess. Americans are not in love with the Republican Party. It is just delusional to believe so.

[BUSH'S FAULT!!! He forced the Democrats in Congress to vote for the politically suicidal ObamaCare bill.]

We will still control the Senate and not by a slim majority either. And we may be able to still hold on to the House of Representatives.

[So there is still a chance to preserve the integrity of William Rivers Pitt's butthole?]

We are the majority. Don't forget that.

[You are the majority. The Blue Fairy said so.]

Stop the with the gloom and doom and get out the vote where you can help.

[Or just make up the vote.]

The next 24 hours favor us. We are the majority party in America. Let's show them we are.

[And now to the rest of the Blue Fairy worshipping DUmmies...]

From your lips... To the electorates ear.

[From your lips... To the Pittster's butt.

every two years older white racist voting Republicans are dying off; and younger more progressive voters are jumping in the pool

[Yeah, watch the difference in the 2008 and 2010 outcomes.]

David, I really respect you, but you have been so optimistic in the past it's disgusting. I hope you're right, but often when you're this optimistic you tend to be really wrong

[And David continued to pray to the Blue Fairy there before him, she who smiled softly, forever...she who welcomed forever. Eventually the floodlights dimmed and died, but David could still see her palely by day, and he still addressed her, in hope. He prayed until all the sea anemones had shriveled and died, he prayed as the ocean froze and the ice encased the caged amphibicopter, and the Blue Fairy too, locking them together where he could still make her out - a blue ghost in ice - always there, always smiling, always awaiting him. Eventually he never moved at all, but his eyes always stayed open, staring ahead forever all through the darkness of each night, and the next day...and the next day...]

Tomorrow, the voting at the polls will belong to the Democrats.

[Oh Fatherland, Fatherland,
Show us the sign
Your children have waited to see.
The morning will come
When the world is mine.
Tomorrow belongs to me!]

Drag every Dem you know to the polls!

[Especially the dead Democrats.]

At the least the cell phone gap is more than enough to give me serious hope. Thats a 4 point republican lean for any pollster who doesn't call cell phones, that's a fact.

[Call the Blue Fairy's cellphone for soothing reassurance.]

I do believe you're right!


Democrats are showing up to vote in big numbers. This thing isn't over.

[And since you posted that on Monday night when the polls hadn't even opened yet, "this thing" hadn't even begun.]


Anonymous JK said...

It's Rex Manning Day!

(this promises to be one of the FUnniest days ever recorded ...)

9:08 AM  
Blogger Tazzerman said...

Ah yes, the 'Reality Based' community in ACTION! :) -tm

9:13 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

...you have been so optimistic in the past it's disgusting...

Ah, the DUmmie commandment, thou shall only be angry, hate fulled, and depressed. Optimism, pride in country, all forbidden emotions and quite disgusting to DUmmies. They just aren't happy unless they're miserable about something. Or kicking somebody.

10:05 AM  
Anonymous Anon 1:50 said...

It's really rather touching...

Not at all based on anything resembling reality, but...

11:09 AM  
Blogger Son Of The Godfather said...

I want to see a graph of Prozac sales in the "blue" states for the week.

11:48 AM  
Anonymous DumbAss Tanker said...

"Democrats are turning out in high numbers..."

So close and yet so far...turn out it was really 'High Democrats are turning out in numbers...'

11:47 AM  

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