Tuesday, May 04, 2010

DUmmies SURE Times Square Bomber a Teabagger!

That person who tried to blow up Times Square with an SUV bomb? It MUST have been a Teabagger! The DUmmies are SURE of it! Only a white, Christian, heterosexual, SUV-driving, anti-Obama racist could be responsible for such a reprehensible terrorist act--although AmeriKKKa does deserve it, of course. See the DUmmie paranoia and prejudice unfold here in this THREAD, "PREDICTION: They'll arrest somebody for the Times Square Event within 48 hours."

So let us all hop in our gas-guzzling SUVs and head on over to DUmmieland. The DUmmie comments are in--what will turn out to be--Red-faced Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, a white Christian heterosexual with an alibi, is in the [brackets]:

PREDICTION: They'll arrest somebody for the Times Square Event within 48 hours

[It's Karl Rove, and he's already been arrested. Just give it 48 business hours.]

He had Connecticut plates on the SUV that were registered to another vehicle.

[Hmmm. . . . The Bush Family Evil Empire has roots in Connecticut. . . .]

Once they check the VIN, they'll know whose car it is.

[VIN SCULLY?!? Who knew?]

it's obvious the perpetrator left a trail of bread crumbs that will lead right to him.

[Or a trail of TEA LEAVES!]

There will be a VIN. VINs are located in numerous places. . . .

[Let's see . . . Vin Scully . . . Vin Di Bona . . . My Cousin Vinnie . . . Vin Diesel--VIN DIESEL! That's it! "Diesel"/SUV, blows up things--We've got our man! . . . No, wait, Vin Diesel is part African-American, isn't he? That would rule him out. Not white enough.]

This is definitely the work of a conservative.

[The SUV is a dead giveaway.]

When I purchase a big item I stamp my ss number on it in various places, one that will be seen pretty easily then the others requiring a partial tear down. Just in case I want identify it later. I know a person who had his tools stolen and he found a couple of them but because he couldn't tell the investigators enough to make a positive identification he lost them anyway. I try my best to not let that happen, it had a scratch here or it had a bump there won't get it. Well I took the switch out and filed that little diddly thingy there that was bugging me works every time though or I replaced one of the brake lite bulbs or a switch and or had broken some little piece or what ever works though. If you use a stamp to put a number or letter in a piece of metal no matter if its ground off it can still be seen using the right techniques. Not sure about welding over it but that would raise questions because you can identify that as the place I put my name or a number.

[Do you bore people professionally, or is this just a hobby?]

Here is a partial list of the places you can find them on the Pathfinder
Nissan Axxess, Van
Pickup, Pathfinder
280Z, ZX
All others excl. above Left side of dash (thru windshield)
Front left floor panel
Left side of dash (thru windshield)
Right inner fender
Left side of dash (thru windshield)
Right strut housing
Left side of dash (thru windshield)
Firewall 10th

[Call the FBI. I'm sure your information will help them crack the case.]

They also found fingerprints.

[Well, that narrows it down to people with fingers.]

I'm betting it's a veteran. . . .

[May we question your patriotism now?]

I think it's about 75% likely this was a right wing militia member.

[25% chance it's a right-wing militia groupie.]

87% of statistics are made up on the spot.

[Hee! Hee!]

I predict it will be Mel Gibson.

[I'll go with Mel Tillis, and a sudden stuttering attack made him mess up the explosion.]

Wonder if it will end up being a right-wing terrorism incident?


I would say that your average right-winger fits the profile to a "Tea".

[Profiles in Beverage.]

A false-flag event designed to Arizona'ize NYC?

[Jesse Ventura checks in.]

I think Halliburton has a finger in this pie.

[Hey, you may be on to something! An SUV uses more gas, hence more oil. . . . Anybody know the whereabouts of Dick Cheney on the night in question?]

It knocked the environmental disaster off the headlines and they played a huge part in it. Also, they would WANT to make it look like an amateur.

[Those devious b*st*rds!]

CT plates?

[Lieberman! Of course! A Neo-con Zionist plot!]

amateur = domestic? Shoe bomber? underpants bomber? not seeing the logic in that conclusion.

[Your Kewpie Doll is on the way, DUmmie rucky, for this Brief Moment of Mental Clarity™!]

My Guess:
Right Wing
White Male
Flag Waving Patriot
McVeigh / Ruby Ridge / Waco fanatic
2nd Ammendment Gun Nut
Fundamentalist Evangelical Christian
and most importantly:
Anti-Immigration Zealot.

[Oh, come on, go out on a limb here! Those things are GIVENS!]

All I hope is that they have ties to the teabaggers

[Please, please, PUH-LEEZE, let it be a teabagger! Oh, Gaia, please hear me!]

I highly doubt that.

[Huh? Wha-aa??]

Of course you do because you saw the news that a Pakistani man had been arrested over 5 hours ago, like everyone else who has watched the news over the last few hours.

[Oopsie! Never mind.]


Anonymous Anonymous said...

A registered Democrat and a registered member of DU! HAHAHA!

11:37 AM  
Anonymous DumbAss Tanker said...

Democrats, the white elephant gift that at least keeps on giving amusement, no matter how otherwise useless they may be for any practical purpose.

1:25 PM  
Anonymous Elrond Hubbard said...

"I would say that your average right-winger fits the profile to a 'Tea'."

The DUmmies are great profilers, they know a honky terrorist when they see one.

Accordingly, they round up the usual suspects, who, suprise, turn out to be suburban Neandethal teabagging crackers with their SUVs. Whoops, it turns out the real suspect is a Mooselimb and a registered Democrap. Nevermind.
Blame Haliburton.

2:50 PM  
Anonymous Corona said...

Of course they'd pray (to Gaia) with all their might for him to be a right-winger. Because the odds of him being a lefty-loon were through the roof.

2:51 PM  
Anonymous StewartIII said...

NewsBusters: Oops! Leftwing Blogosphere Forced Into Embarrassing Backtrack on Times Square Bomber ID

8:06 PM  
Blogger CP said...

Looks like you were all wrong.

1:36 PM  
Anonymous Crystal Flores said...

A registered Democrat and a registered member of DU! HAHAHA!

8:27 PM  
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