DUmmies Slam St. Patrick's Day
Everyone gearing up for St. Douchebag's Day?
[Posted the DUmmie Douchebag.]
St. "Look At Me!.. I'm 18 and Drunk off my Ass!" Day. I hate it.
[Posted the bitter DUmmie from deep within the confines of his dark, dank, joyless basement.]
A big part of St. Patrick’s Day is having white people feel particularly upset at the oppression of their ancestors that has in no way trickled down to them. If you find yourself talking with a white person who tells you about how their great grandfather was oppressed by both the English and the Americans, it is strongly recommended that you lend a sympathetic ear and shake your head in disbelief. It is never considered acceptable to say: “but you’re white now, so what’s the problem?”
[You're a DUmmie now and that IS your problem.]
I'm no saint. Just a run-of-the-mill douchebag.
[A leprechaun Kewpie Doll to you for that moment of accurate self-realization.]
I love the fact that I can stock up on corned beef wicked cheap.
[Hmmmm... Gotta check up on my coupons. I just got a years supply of BO sticks FREE via coupons so why not also stock up on that "Irish fare" of corned beef?
nothing like institutionalized drunken douchbaggery.
I just think it sucks that I can't go out on my birthday without slipping in teenage vomit.
[So stop by Bukowski's and slip in middle-age vomit.]
But I am just sickened by the idiots (Irish and otherwise) who use it as an excuse to spend the entire day drunk.
[Then you must like Pied Piper Pitt who uses NO excuse to spend EVERY day drunk.]
I Enjoy Drinking To Excess On St Patrick's Day
[As well as on the other 364 days.]