DUmmies Hail Inspector Barack Clouseau™
Remember the bumbling Inspector Jacques Clouseau of Pink Panther fame? No matter what mistakes he made, such as falling over a sofa, he gravely claimed it was all part of his master plan in his investigation. Well, the DUmmies have the same attitude about Obama. They believe that his political fumbling is all part of some sort of ingenious master plan known only to him. Yes, the president has beome the Inspector Barack Clouseau™ for the DUmmies as you can see in this THREAD, "Barack Obama, You FOOLED ME, And I Apologize." Yes, the DUmmies are apologizing for thinking of Obama as he really is, a political incompetent, and are now trying to convince themselves that the president is really bumbling on purpose as part of some ingenious master plan unknown to the rest of us mortals. So let us now watch the DUmmies heap praise on Inspector Barack Clouseau™ in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, looking for some artistic type out there to provide an Inspector Barack Clouseau™ graphic, is in the [barackets]:
Barack Obama, You FOOLED ME, And I Apologize
[Barack, you magnificent bastard!!!]
John Stewart was right.
You're a f*cking Jedi Knight ten steps ahead of everybody f*cking else.
[May the Farce be with you.]
You KNEW what was going to happen at those town hall meetings during the slow news month of August.
You KNEW the Republicans would start feeling confident that they could knock you out while they had you on the ropes.
You KNEW whacked out Birthers and Deathers and Teabaggers were going to project their ignorant assed bullshit on eveyrbody.
And I'll even bet you KNEW Charles "I Tweet Dumb Shit" Grassley would f*cking BRAG about how he wasn't negotiating in good faith.
["I know I fell off the sofa, Madame. There’s no need to tell me—everything I do is carefully planned, Madame." ]
Well, August is now more than half over.
You already have the chief REpublican negotiator for bipartisanship in health care reform saying he wasn't negotiating in good faith, AND THEN ADMITTING THERE WAS NO WAY HE'D VOTE FOR ANY BILL!
Your ducks are all in a row.
You now have every right to say, "we negotiated in good faith with the Republicans to develop health care reform legislation. You now have the chief negotiator bragging about how he wasn't negotiating in good faith but was rather using some sort of stalling tactic to slow down the legislation and even admitting there is no bill we could come up with that he'd vote for. Health care reform is simply too important for this kind of gamesmanship, so the Democratic Caucus in the Congress now has no choice but to go it alone. We'll now develop the legislation that Democrats can vote for and pass that however we have to."
BOOM GOES THE DYNAMITE!
The Force is STRONG in you!
[Sayeth the Jedi kNUt.]
I'm sorry I ever doubted you.
[You are forgiven my son. Now go and spin some more...]
Yes, every single thing that HAS HAPPENED was part of HIS PLAN. Brilliant!
[Including falling over the Oval Office sofa. Brilliant!]
He's a chess player, always 10 moves ahead of his opponents
[Only 10 moves? Piker! Make that a full dozen moves ahead of his opponents.]
Oh, how I hope you're right.
[Don't worry. Tinker Bell will sprinkle pixie dust upon Inspector Barack Clouseau™ and then will be all right in the world.]
The rope-a-dope wins again--I hope. I truly believe Obama, in his heart of hearts, wants a Medicare-esque plan--and he knows just how to get it. Still, I'm crossing my fingers just in case.
[And don't forget to rub that rabbit's foot while you're at it.]
Hope Springs Eternal
I'm not making any judgments of any kind about Obama until we see the final product. Then it'll be easy to tell if he's championed our ideals or sold us out, because it will already have happened one way or another. Anything else at this point is akin to leaving the stadium in the 7th inning.
[It will all come together beautifully in just 24 business hours.]
He's got 'em HYPNOTIZED!!!
[Look deeeeply into my eyes. Your mind is as empty as a DUmmie.]
What's better is the grass roots gets to claim the victory
Because we've all been gaga for three months emailing, phoning, and snail mailing everybody and their brothers about this. So now we get to feel all warm and fuzzy about OUR victory and ahve even more of a sense of connection to the process, investing even more of ourselves in the future of Democratic politics. It's f*cking brilliance.
[I always suspected that Inspector Barack Clouseau™ ripping up the pool table felt with his cue stick at his press conferences was all part of his brilliant grand plan.]
Talk about rope-a-dope. This should be the standard forever more.
[Yes, dope-a-dope will be studied for many years to come.]
You've just raised my confidence level considerably. He knows what he's doing, and when to come out hitting hard. I think the time has come--and he knows it.
["Now to set the trap, catch the killer and prove to the world that Maria Gambrelli is innocent... of murder. We must accelerate out training program. You must learn to attack me whenever and wherever I least expect it. And you, you must give no quarter."]
Stay tuned folks, this man is no amateur.
["Facts, Hercule, facts! Nothing matters but the facts. Without them the science of criminal investigation is nothing more than a guessing game." ]
So you're saying Obama intentionally made himself look weak, intentionally made his administration seem disorganized, and intentionally pissed off the base while failing to court any conservatives?
[Absolutely. All is going according to the grand plan of Inspector Barack Clouseau™.]
I hope with all of my heart that you are right.
[Pray fervently to goddess Gaia.]
I'll withhold judgement until it's over. Been burned too many times
[So how much did Bev Harris burn you for and did you enjoy your Fitzmas festivities?]
If Obama pulls this off: I WILL CONCIEVE ANOTHER CHILD JUST TO NAME IT BARACK. Or Barackalina, as necessary.
[Posted the hopeful DUmmie from the barackish depths.]