Thursday, December 04, 2008

The Atheists Must Be Crazy--or DUmmies!

I have long maintained that the #1 factor driving the DUmmies is their absolute HATRED of Christianity. (As a Lutheran minister, I notice these things.) Not other religions, mind you, but Christianity. As evidence, I present to you Exhibit A (for Atheist), this THREAD, "Atheist billboard in Capitol stirs a storm." So let's get in the unholy-day spirit as we watch the DUmmies recite the Apostates' Screed, in Rubric's Cube Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, loaning a clerical collar to Li'l Beaver, is in the [brackets]:

Atheist billboard in Capitol stirs a storm

[A Perfect Jovian Storm.]

Source: Seattle Post-Intelligencer

[One of the most aptly named newspapers.]


[Home of the gods!]

An anti-religion billboard in the Washington state Capitol has started a firestorm. . . .

[The gods must be crazy!]

“At this season of the Winter Solstice may reason prevail. There are no gods, no devils, no angels, no heaven or hell. There is only our natural world. Religion is but myth and superstition that hardens hearts and enslaves minds."

[What happened to leftist tolerance and "celebrating diversity"? I guess religion is not included.]

Seems pretty inoffensive to me.

[Thank you, Voltaire.]

Clearly, Loki is the god of this world.

[Clearly, Loco is the god of DUmmieland.]

Loki, who according to Marvel Comics . . .

[Marvel Comics, where real theologians go to get real answers.]

. . . is the Norse god of mischief. . . . Loki is the kind of god who would tell one "prophet" his people have to worship him with a very strict system of rituals, and then tell another "prophet" just across the river to worship with a completely different system of rituals.

[Loki sends his signals in Norse Code.]

That's why we named our Schanuzer puppy "Loki." Pure, unmitigated mischief!

[The dogs must be crazy!]

uh oh! I have a rule against naming pets for things that I don't want them to be. . . .

[I wouldn't be dogmatic about that.]

My uncle had a dog named "Hemmhroid". . . .

[My uncle had a hemorrhoid named "Dog."]

The fundie whack jobs need to shut the hell up!

[I thought you didn't believe in hell. (At least not yet.)]

Freedom of Religion... get over it.

[Spoken by a DUmmie with only 13 posts. Hmmm. . . . LOUSY FREEPER TROLL?]

I'm interested in freedrom FROM religion. . . .

[And no one is stopping you.]

Most of all Antonin Scalia. . . . No doubt he will burn in Hell. . . .

[For someone who wants freedom from religion, you seem rather confident in your belief in the existence of hell and who will burn in it.]

I really am tired of Christians.

[We're taking a poll to see if we're tired of you! Right now it doesn't look too good.]

Religion causes a form of mental illness.

[Symptoms: Love, charity, kindness, good deeds, works of mercy. . . .]

As the great Sigmund Freud said: "Religion is the universal obessional neurosis of mankind. . . ."

[As the great God said: "Sigmund who?"]

Alas, Freud was a quack.

[He's not all he's quacked up to be.]

The ancient Africans believed in a god who was neither male nor female and yet both.

[The god "Pat."]

Born, baptised and confirmed Lutheran - but have long since sided w/ Jefferson, Einstein, etc. on the Deist side of religion.

[You must not like potlucks.]

It's right next to a nativity scene! What if the Baby Jesus reads it? He might become an atheist!


He could still preach peace, love, and forgiveness, but without the God part.

[I hate to tell you this, but it's kind of a package deal.]

What I really believe is that no wise god would be so cruel.

[So, you have a belief system after all!]

Religious peope suck? All religious people suck??? How old are you that you can't reason out that there are fundy whack jobs and really sincere, decent people of faith? You suck.

[There's a sucker born every minute.]

Well, if atheists had iconic figures or objects, we would display those. Since we don't, all we can do is deny the existence of divinity.

[Then why proselytize your belief, DUmmie Deep13? Wouldn't it make more sense just to say nothing? Do you see the difference between "not believing there is a god" and "believing there is no god"? The latter is actually a religion of sorts, a faith assertion.]

To tell you the truth, I'd love to celebrate Hanukkah.. 8 days off.

[The religion with the most days off wins.]

Yeah, but all you get are stupid dreidels.

[Bummer! Any religions give out toasters?]

Except we get to sleep in and have coffee-sex on Sunday.

[Coffee-sex while sleeping? Sounds dangerous!]

Yawn. All any of this proves is that atheism is a religion, too: a religion in which people are REQUIRED to believe that there is nothing but the natural world. And now atheists have become as militant and determined to proselytize for THEIR beliefs as anyone else.

[YOU win a KEWPIE DOLL, for a brief moment of mental clarity! We'll get that out to you in time for Christmas, or Winter Solstice, or whichever religious holiday you prefer.]

There is no evidence at all of any divine or supernatural intervention in the universe. None.

[DUmmie Deep13, you are the Baghdad Bob of atheism.]

Atheists are not a unified group. In fact, they're not really a group at all.

[I don't believe atheists exist.]

The fervor of an atheist's non-belief is matched only by the fervor of a fundy's belief.

[Sorry, only one Kewpie Doll per thread.]

I am an atheist.


And to clarify, I don't equate the believing of believing in god(s) to that of not believing in god(s). I'd be millions of times more likely to believe there aren't any due to severally reduced amount of belief suspension required. Not buying into any of them is the same thing as not believing.

[Thanks for clarifying.]

I read more about atheism here on DU, than I do anywhere.

[Why am I not surprised?]

It makes no more sense to debate about a deity than it does to debate about who's tougher, Mighty Mouse or Superman!

[I'd go with Superman.]

Mighty Mouse, hands down. After all, Superman doesn't even have a theme song. HERE HE COMES, TO SAVE THE DAYYYY!

[Good point. And then there's the Kryptonite thing. Hmmm. . . . I may have to convert. . . .]

Everyone should be agnostic.

[Are you sure?]

Above all else, we have to keep an open mind.

[You sound like your mind's made up on that.]

Personally, I think anyone with a belief in the divine of any sort believes in the same God - it's all one to me, whether seen as one or many or nature or what-have-you. But as I said, I'm not exactly your typical Christian. You'd have to use more modifiers than you'd want to start describing me, lol: unitarian universalist liberal Episcopalian Christian. . . .

[How about "Idiot-who-doesn't-know-what-she's-talking-about"?]

Apatheism: I believe I will have another slice of cake.

[This could be compatible with Lutheran potlucks.]

i'm only certain of two things being infinite: the universe and human stupidity. . . .

[Having visited DUmmieland, I'm more convinced of the latter.]

when I die, I die with the knowledge I lived a good life. I planted many trees. I saved some wild mustangs. I didn't eat the flesh of another creature.

[That last part is definitely NOT compatible with Lutheran potlucks!]

I did swear like a lot though.

[Spoken like a true DUmmie.]


Anonymous Skully said...

What would happen if God became an Aethist??

11:14 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"I did swear like a lot though."-DUmmie

When did Lot swear? Did it have something to do with his wife?

11:28 PM  
Blogger Two Dogs said...

I would really like to know how this person rambles through the day without getting seriously hurt. Didn't there used to be homes for morons of this magnitude?

12:28 AM  
Anonymous gianni said...

And to clarify, I don't equate the believing of believing in god(s) to that of not believing in god(s). I'd be millions of times more likely to believe there aren't any due to severally reduced amount of belief suspension required. Not buying into any of them is the same thing as not believing.

Huh? My head hurts now...

2:02 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Just an observation: People lose their religious beliefs when they engage in activities that are against the teachings of the church (God), e.g. drugs, promiscuous sex...

To justify their behaviors they no longer believe in God, e.g. They can't handle their guilt. It appears they think if they don't believe, they're home free.

Problem is that they dissociate the guilt... and hang out with losers just like themselves who affirm their hideous behaviors. Thus, the explanation for the liberals.

7:33 AM  
Anonymous Corona said...

Reverend Wrights' bus-crushed corpse must be spinning in his grave.

8:35 AM  
Anonymous Adam said...

"Personally, I think anyone with a belief in the divine of any sort believes in the same God..."
Yeah, sure they are all the same. That's why the God of the Bible refers to the Jews as His chosen people, whereas Allah in the Koran was known for turning Jews into rats, pigs, and monkeys!

"when I die, I die with the knowledge I lived a good life. I planted many trees. I saved some wild mustangs. I didn't eat the flesh of another creature."

Well, DUmmy, if that's all you have, then Isaiah 64:6, Titus 3:5, Ephesians 2:8-9, Matthew 7:22-23, and Romans 3:10 all indicate you should probably start stocking up on asbestos underwear, you'll need it where you're going.

8:46 AM  
Anonymous DumbAss Tanker said...

Charles, that was a masterpiece of punned cultural references, sheer brilliance at work. I am agog. Which is better than being Gog or Magog.

10:30 AM  
Blogger Tazzerman said...

I am forever amazed at the pure hatred the left has for Christianity specifically and religion in general. Why do they focus their ire on JUST Christiantiy? You would think that islam would have a special place in their 'hearts' what with it's total intolerance to gays, drugs, booze AND in the way that women are treated...

They never cease to amaze me.

10:36 AM  
Anonymous Ray said...

"I didn't eat the flesh of another creature."

Think again, DUmmie. Didn't your vaunted science establish the fact that there are both fauna and flora in your intestinal tract and that you digest not only the material you've swallowed but all the dead microorganisms in your intestinal tract as well? I believe that they have! Well, guess what? Fauna is another term for ANIMAL! So, yes, you've consume (also known as EATING!) the "flesh of another creature" every hour of every day of your entire life. How does that make you feel, you faux vegan?

12:22 PM  
Anonymous Ray said...

"I am agog"

Isn't that an asymmetrical Gog?

12:24 PM  
Anonymous Jerome Goolsby said...

One thing the Troglaman clones on DU prove is this - none of them has any concept of the meaning of faith, and none of them have faith. They are all clueless morons with no hope because they have no faith.

12:49 PM  
Anonymous elrond hubbard said...

"Above all else, we have to keep an open mind."

More DUmmie fantasy. In reality, DUmmieland is as open minded as the Soviet Politburo.

4:43 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Jerome, don't throw Troglaman in with the crowd. He does come here. That says more for him than the rest of them. I'll give him that.

8:52 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

That was me, Corona, up there as Anonymous. Damn interwebs.

8:54 PM  
Anonymous Gregory said...

Saw some video of the pilgrimage to Mecca today. Didn't see any atheists hanging signs saying Allah does not exist. Wonder why.

12:31 AM  
Anonymous James said...

To us, they're atheists. To God, they're the loyal opposition.

10:01 AM  
Anonymous Gezz said...

I vote people sort out what they think/believe/regurgitate before they choose to berate other people for being stupid. That really is a stupid thing to do.

We all have similar processes going on in our minds, I would like to make apparent that a 'belief' is a name that we have given to the codes which we derive our behaviour from. I would urge an atheist who does not believe that they believe to get their brain checked against a theist. I would think that there wouldn't be much difference in the parts of the brain used, but I don't really know. It would be interesting though.

Look for the truth behind the names that we give things and you will find your peace. Maybe. hehe

6:12 AM  
Anonymous radical redneck said...

Update on some Serious Stoooooooopid™

BTW Kayinsane has gone full circle on OJ now. All along he was Racistly Railroaded™ by the white power paradigm, now he is a rich Republican who hurried up his conviction so Fuhrer Bush could pardon him! (along with, inevitably the Blackwater defendants and the Gitmo 9/11 confessors (even though 9/11 never happened! - nothing but hologram illusions!)) :lol:

Nicole Brown Simpson & Ron Goldman finally get some justice since the moment they were brutally murdered by O.J. Simpson years ago! Of course, OJ Simpson gives money to the republican party and will most likely get a pardon from George Bush after all this! this is something a republican president would do! George H.W. Bush gave Christmas Eve pardons to the Iran/Contra scandal monsters before he left office, so it wouldn’t surprise me if W added OJ Simpson to the list of Bush Regime torturers, killers, thieves, and others in his midst! Spit. Asshole.

Kayinsane can only be real! Nobody with a real skull around their brain could conceive of her!

12:39 PM  

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