Tuesday, May 13, 2008

"Make Your Vote, Country Folk" (Hillary wins West Virginia!)



Last week Typical White Person Sen. Hillary Clingin' made an appeal to the bitter nature of her base, the HillAryan Nation. She talked about "how Sen. Obama's support among working, hard-working Americans, white Americans, is weakening again, and how whites in both states who had not completed college were supporting me. I have a much broader base to build a winning coalition on. . . . There's a pattern emerging here. . . . "

Yes, Your Thighness, you do have a much broader base, as your poor pantsuit will attest. And yes, there is a pattern emerging here: You're running out of primaries, and you're getting desperate.

So enjoy your hillbilly hoedown tonight, Hillary, and tomorrow be ready to soldier on. You have no chance of winning, but you do have every chance of a) perpetuating Operation Chaos, b) suicide-bombing Obama for November, and c) incurring the undying wrath of DUmmies, KOmmies, and HUffies across the fruited plain!

And now let's all join Mrs. Clinton in singing her victory song, composed for this occasion by yours truly, Charles Henrickson, the wag tailoring the doggerel:



MAKE YOUR VOTE, COUNTRY FOLK
Tune: "Take Me Home, Country Roads" Original
By Winn Denver

Almost landslide, West Virginia
Numbers mountin', headin' on to Denver
Folks are white here, whiter than the sheets
That the early Byrd wore, blowin' in the breeze

Country folk, make your vote
For the race you belong
Mrs. Clinton, not Obama
Make your vote, country folk

All my prim'ries dare not end here
My election's set for this November
Dark and dusky stranger on the rise
Mustn't let him beat me, take away my prize

Country folk, make your vote
For the race you belong
Mrs. Clinton, not Obama
Make your vote, country folk

I hear your voice, in the evenin' hours you cheer me
This victory assures me that I'm queen for a day
And standin' on the stage
I get a feeling that this Wheeling's all the U.S.A.
U.S.A.

Country folk, make your vote
For the race you belong
Mrs. Clinton, not Obama
Make your vote, country folk . . .

5 Comments:

Anonymous Shambhala said...

I am actually beginning to admire Her Thighness. She is a fighter, she's tough. Too bad she is left wing nutcase, otherwise I would vote for her.

9:04 PM  
Anonymous DumbAss Tanker said...

However un-PC her point may be, or may be painted as being by her foes on both sides, it is still an absurdity to say that it is racist to vote AGAINST Obama because he's black while saying it's NOT racist to vote FOR him because he's Black.

5:30 AM  
Anonymous Ray said...

"However un-PC her point may be, or may be painted as being by her foes on both sides, it is still an absurdity to say that it is racist to vote AGAINST Obama because he's black while saying it's NOT racist to vote FOR him because he's Black."

How can anyone vote against a candidate in an election? This isn't like Congress where you cast ether a yes or no vote for a particular candidate like a judge. This is a public election where you cast a yes vote for your chosen candidate or you don't vote at all.

Contrary to popular belief, voting for a particular candidate is not voting against another. In the 30 years I've been voting, I've never seen a "none of the above" category (I would LOVE to see that!) or a ballot that says "Candidate X: Yes No (Choose one)". Has anyone else ever seen that? No, of course not, you ether cast vote for a candidate, write one in yourself, or you don't cast a vote at all.

This "vote against" charge is just another way to attack people, and the Libs are GREAT at attacking people.

8:06 AM  
Anonymous DumbAss Tanker said...

You're entitled to your opinion no matter how wrong it may be, Ray.

For instance, I will definitely be voting against whichever Democrat wins the primary battle when I cast my ballot in November, since while I sure as Hell don't want to vote FOR John McCain, a vote in his favor is the only viable way to vote AGAINST an even worse outcome.

5:04 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"This is a public election where you cast a yes vote for your chosen candidate or you don't vote at all." ray

I, troglaman, believe you for once. The whole thing was nicely put. You are spared my profanity.

"I will definitely be voting against whichever Democrat wins the primary battle when I cast my ballot in November" dumbass

Once again, an honest statement. This is good.

On the other hand I, troglaman, would see a ling cod elected president rather than a Republican. And I think most of you must concede that your ilk have pretty much screwed the pooch. It's gone down the shitter on your watch. Blaming anyone but yourselves smacks of hypocrisy. Buck up, wimps. And the sooner you recognize you f*cked up and move on, the better off we'll all be.

1:15 AM  

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