Tuesday, May 13, 2008

DUmmies Incapable Of Bargain Shopping For Food

How many times have you been at the supermarket and seen some outrageously HIGH price for some produce? I see this all the time so am I somehow forced to buy it? Of course not. In fact, it is VERY EASY to bargain shop for produce. Possibly easier than for any other type of product. However, when a DUmmie sees a cantelope selling for an $3.89 each, he helplessly bemoans his fate as you can see in this THREAD with the pitiful title of "Cantelope $3.89 a piece? F*ck, we'll be carrying sacks on a stick and begging at the back doors of the 'haves' pretty soon!" Yes, DUmmie, you have NO choice. You MUST buy that $3.89 cantelope. You are forbidden to look for cantelops at other stores or buy them roadside or at farmer's markets for a buck or less each. So let us now watch the DUmmies use their utter incompetence at bargain shopping as a segue to condemn our EVIL capitalist system in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, who recently bought a whole bunch of HUGE papayas for just a buck each, is in the [brackets]:


Cantelope $3.89 a piece? Fuck, we'll be carrying sacks on a stick and begging at the back doors of the "haves" pretty soon!

[A piece of cantelope sold for $3.89. Imagine how much a whole cantelope must sell for.]


A crappy bagel costs $.69 and a crappier muffin is $1.49 at the supermarket. A 16 oz can of soup is $2.19...for broth and a few pieces of pasta. Brown rice is $1.79 lb and bread and milk are near $4.00. Why are we not taking to the streets with this? I despise this administration. DESPISE them. I hope they pay in hell.


[Bagels? I can get a half dozen for a buck. Soup? I can get cans at 2 for a buck. Milk? I WAIT for a certain farmer's market to sell it at a buck for a half gallon and then stock up on it. But since you are TOO STUPID to bargain shop, suddenly you want to take to the streets to overthrow this EVIL Bush regime.]


Looked at Watermelons, yesterday...........small ones - $6.99 and less small ones (can't call them big, really - $7.99. Last year you could get them for $4.99 and they were huge......insane....

[I guess you're too LAZY to stop where roadside vendors are selling watermelons really cheap. Oh, and have you ever checked out the produce section of flea markets? Only true DUmmies will pay $6.99 for a small watermelon. I'll feel good munching on a nice cold small one dollar watermelon later today knowing you allowed yourself to get ripped off.]


The junk food aisle prices are cheap. Hell, a 16 oz bag of imitation chocolate candy $.89. Twinkies are still cheap enough. Why not buy em by the case?


[Good news! Frozen pizza is still cheap. I bought 4 for 5 dollars a week ago.]


well we know where they are coming from when they keep junk food prices down, they are treating us with such vile and disrespect.

[You have absolutely no nutritional choice since the EVIL Bush regime is forcing you to eat junk food.]


....junk food today is like yesterday's cigarettes....make it cheap, encourage their use and watch the peasants drop like flies (after we work the shit out of 'em for a few decades, of course)....capitalism gives me such a warm feeling inside....


[Capitalism is KILLING you with twinkies and chocolate donuts.]


A single ear of corn $1.00. It's crazy.


[Even crazier is that you paid that price.]


They were $2 for six last week at Publix. People need to learn to shop smart. Stock up on items which are on sale and use coupons.

[SHHHHH!!! Don't let the DUmmies know anything about the concept known as bargain shopping. Please continue to allow them to keep on getting ripped off due to their own stupidity.]


I can't believe these produce prices. I shell out for it, but then, I CAN. I count my blessings and am angry on behalf of those whom it really pinches.


[Enjoy those $3.89 cantelopes and $6.99 small watermelons, DUmmie!]


Thank you for your anger. We feel very alone and isolated.


[And helpless.]


Truth be told, I'm one of these idiotf*cks who thinks Trader Joe's is economical, so clearly I haven't "gotten it" in many years.

[Sigh! If only Florida had Trader Joe's so I could indulge in Two Buck Chuck wine.]


I got hostile in the toilet paper section......12 roll pack of my usual brand - $8.76. Screw that - it goes down the crapper, ferchrissakes, I'll be damned if I pay that. Family will have to get used to flimsy I guess. Meat aisle should have a loan counter right next to it so I can take out a mortgage to get some damn chops..... Milk - hell, a few bucks more and I could get a dang cow..... eggs - do we have a shortage of laying hens? I hate to go to the grocery store anymore - it seems these days we'll have the same menu rotation week after week - but I guess we're lucky to still be able to eat something.


[Maybe your family will have to get used to using their left hands. BTW, I have a food deal where I get meat, beer, olive oil, and paper products really cheap. (My wife doesn't want me to talk about it in detail.) Right now we have enough toilet paper and paper kitchen towels to last us until around Labor Day.]


We're living on split pea soup, lentil soup, rock soup...whatever. Yeah, the toilet paper thing is sickening. Better off using a pressure cleaner.


[Ben Burch will provide you with his personal Rotor Rooter.]


Ha! Eat pine cones AND use them as toilet paper!


[First use the pine cones as toilet paper and THEN eat them.]


a friend of mine was visiting canada and she said a head of lettuce is $5 there....is that true? who the hell would pay $5 for a head of lettuce?

[Clueless Canadian DUmmies.]


I haven't had canteloupe for years based on the price.
Only when they sell them at 2 for $3.00. And this is MacIntosh apple country. Cripes, they are $3.49 lb.


[Obviously a DUmmie who NEVER stops for roadside fruit vendors nor goes to farmer's markets.]


Leeks (bunch of three) -- $5.99 at my local Krogers last week.


[EEK! Be sure not to check the farmer's markets so you can continue to bemoan your deserved fate.]


are the freeptards feeling the same crunch? and what are they saying?


[They are saying that helpless DUmmie stupidity is beyond belief and are laughing at you.]


Adzuki beans are the lowest in fat but high in protein.
They're great cooked with buttcup squash.


[Ben Burch loves buttcup squash.]


wolfgang puck soup is almost always on sale for $1-$1.25/can, and it definitely is MUCH better than "some broth and a few pieces of pasta".


[Dented Wolfgang Puck soup cans sell for even less at the flea market.]


When will people finally take to the streets? When cantalopes cost $5? $10? What would it take? Seriously...people should be out in the streets NOW.


[Would you take to the streets if I price mark cantelopes up to $20 each? I would love to watch the comedic entertainment.]


2.67 for store brand soup. Use to be $4 for 2 a few weeks ago. Juice is insane. God damn f*cking eggs. Shopping has become depressing. God damn Bush Inc and the enablers.


[Yes, the EVIL Bush regime is preventing you from bargain shopping.]

25 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Being personally on the Bush Grocery Price Control Committee (BGPCC) I remember the meeting when we decided that Leeks (bunch of three) should be set at $5.99 for all Krogers stores. OH how we laughed about that one!

I can tell you they are not going to be pleased when they see the price of artichoke hearts next week.

9:39 AM  
Blogger Tazzerman said...

Amazing! Blame Bush first, last and at all times when in fact, these arseholes have no one else but themselves to blame.

No drilling in ANWAR, no new refineries, no nukes, no new energy while at the same time they cheer the rise in gasoline prices since it will eventually force everyone to either mass transit or at least out of their hummers.

Meanwhile, the high price for oil is driving food prices through the roof. Food needs to be transported idiots! Not to mention farmed and fertilized.

Too bad we can't use the lefts bullshit for that eh? We'd have plenty that's for sure...

11:15 AM  
Blogger Lonevoice said...

Even as we read this, I am secretly raising the price of argula...BWHAAHAAHAAHAAHAA!!!!!!


Just when I thnk the DUmmies couldn't couldn't get any DUmber...

11:20 AM  
Blogger Son Of The Godfather said...

OMG... Anything and everything in DUmmieland is "six degrees of Bush"... Food costs 12 cents more?... Bush!... Hemmorhoids?... Bush!

These people are more deranged than I thought.

1:09 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

We should post an ad on DU for the "Underground Market" ... where buying in bulk is better (for us). Instead of paying $4 for one canteloupe, Dummies could buy 4 for $20.

1:36 PM  
Blogger Eric said...

This thread explains the basic truth of liberalism better than any other.

The funniest part is that we live in a culture with ridiculously cheap food with such variety and abundance that its frankly unparalleled in human history.

And yet they complain.

Let's be honest: the truth is that they're all just poor, unmotivated, uneducated, and lacking in ambition. It is EASY to eat like a king in this country on $250 a month.

Unless, of course, you have to guzzle mocha soy lattes and eat organic tofu muffins while you're on your way to the flag burning.

Liberals are so amusing.

So how do they afford computers? Oh. Never mind. They're typing that silliness at the coffee shoppe, aren't they?

Of course they are. They're walking stereotypes.

5:00 PM  
Blogger Britt said...

It's the ethanol subsidies that are to blame for rising food prices. The government will pay you to grow corn for biofuel, so a lot of farmers who usually plant wheat or some other produce are planting corn. Supply shrinks, and prices rise. That's basic economics. So of course the Left blames Bush. Meanwhile, at the same time the supply of corn itself is shrinking because it is much better for the farmers in question to turn corn into fuel. So anything with corn (high fructose corn syrup anyone?
) is going to rise in price.

Basically, Congress has set us up for sky rocketing food prices as long as the ethanol subsidies exist.

5:51 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Why are we not taking to the streets with this?"

In other words: "why is somebody else not doing all of the work so I can reap the benefits?"

I guess he only subscribes to the "To each according to his need" portion of Marxism.

6:30 PM  
Anonymous Jewels said...

Eric is right.

Ok, set aside, for a moment, the tendency for libs to blame every hang-nail on the prez...

These people have no idea how spoiled they are. They're complaining about the cost of CANTELOPES? Seriously? Do they even have any idea who lucky they are that they have melons available for them to purchase? Much less under 5 bucks?

The U.S. middle class is among the top 10% richest in the world, and these people are whining at the cost of cantelopes. Clueless, the lot of them.

7:02 PM  
Anonymous Skully said...

Bargian shopping aside. If the ethanol subsidies are one of the factors, besides oil prices, as to why the price of food is up; who put the ethanol subsidies in place?? The Goberment did right. Did Bush sign any of these subsidy bills?? If so the DUmmies may be actually right for once....IMPEACH!! IMPEACH for FOOD CRIMES!!!
NO BLOOD FOR CORN!!!
CHIMPY THE FOOD NAZI!!!

8:26 PM  
Blogger Dave said...

I don't suppose any of them considered shopping at [*shudder*] Wal*Mart or Sam's Club. We buy almost all our paper products there, they've got great meat prices (beef is actually a bit cheaper than last year, but you should stock up -- it's probably cheap because the herd is being liquidated in the face of increasing feed prices), their produce prices aren't bad (although I actually buy produce at a year-round produce stand), and their canned veggies, soups, fruits, etc are rock bottom priced.

There are also, mirable dictu, *cut-rate grocery stores* that sell lower grade food for, like, real cheap. As a grad student, I could feed myself (in the 90s) for $10 a week and eat well. Today, it would probably be $20/week.

Good to know that the opposition is intellectually challenged (i.e., they all ride the short bus while wearing their helmets).

9:24 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"and these people (libs) are whining at the cost of cantelopes. Clueless, the lot of them..." jewels

I see. ONLY libs are complaining about food prices, or as you all call it, "melons" (interesting metaphor). That hold true with fuel prices too? Sorry. I forgot the secret code. That hold true with "Ram Diesels" too (wink wink)?

Of course I could link to multiple right-sites complaining about food prices, fuel prices, etc. But I've been hanging around this site long enough to become a fairly lazy bastard myself. Saves time. Thank you, my friends. In fact, I've started investigating Intelligent Design and figure I can save a buttload of time by believing God has a plan. Takes the pressure off. Big duh.

11:40 PM  
Blogger Corona said...

My God, it's like every single bonehead in DU actually IS kayinmaine. (Don't worry anonymous, I haven't forgotten you.)

Food Gouging We Can Believe In! As a card carrying Rethuglican I'm gonna be first in line to drive one of those scoop trucks around campii to harvest Libs for Soylent Green. Mmmmmm, tastes like pork!

6:06 AM  
Anonymous Ray said...

"I haven't had canteloupe for years based on the price.
Only when they sell them at 2 for $3.00. And this is MacIntosh apple country. Cripes, they are $3.49 lb."


The DUmmies are able to buy produce out of season and then have the audacity to complain about the price? Man, it must be nice to be so young. It wasn't that long ago, within my own lifetime even, when things like cantaloupe and apples, let alone corn, was next to impossible to get out of season.

So you're paying 3 to 5 dollars for an out of season cantaloupe and a pound of apples? Count yourself lucky!

7:38 AM  
Anonymous Ray said...

"But I've been hanging around this site long enough to become a fairly lazy bastard myself."

To bad you don't realize that this site is devoted entirely to highlighting the hilariousness incessant complaining and down right foolishness of the left wing blogs. There are plenty of right wing blogs where people complain about things like high prices too, this just isn't one of them.

"In fact, I've started investigating Intelligent Design and figure I can save a buttload of time by believing God has a plan."

Even though God created intelligence, he sure didn't give much to you, did he? So, I guess his plan doesn't include you figuring out the obvious. The world needs dumb people too. You're living proof of that.

7:46 AM  
Anonymous dubya said...

Man created god, not the other way around, ray. Duh!

10:36 AM  
Anonymous dubya said...

In fact, I've started investigating Intelligent Design and figure I can save a buttload of time by believing God has a plan. Takes the pressure off. Big duh.

LOL!! Good one!

Expresses my opinion of "Intelligent Design" and "Creation Science" exactly! Sedate those inquiring minds! :)

6:09 PM  
Anonymous James McEnanly said...

well we know where they are coming from when they keep junk food prices down, they are treating us with such vile and disrespect.
Assuming that these posts are recent, the reason fresh produce, such as canteloupe, is so expensive is that at this time of year, they must be imported from somewhere warmer. Also, being fresh, it is also perishable.It doesn't stay fresh very long.
Junk food, on the other hand is so loaded with preservatives that it can sit on the shelf for years with no change in quality, and can be produced year-round.
If these guys would get a little common sense, they'd spend a lot less time trying to overtrow the government, but they'd be a lot less entertaining.

9:24 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"To bad you don't realize that this site is devoted entirely to highlighting the hilariousness incessant complaining and down right foolishness of the left wing blogs." ray

Yes. And as illustrated above, ray only multiplies the outrageous hilarity to the umpteenth degree. Nice job, ray. So funny. No really, it is. No shit.

1:34 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"(Don't worry anonymous, I haven't forgotten you.)" corona

So scary.

1:37 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Sedate those inquiring minds! :)" dubya

Yes. Pay no attention to the talking snake behind the curtain.

1:48 AM  
Anonymous publius said...

Cantelope, watermelon, and corn ?

In my neck of the woods, (Oregon), this stuff isn't yet in season. Try August.

Canned soup ? Various brands such as Progresso and Wolfgang Puck go on sale on a regular basis, stock up when they do.

As the OP noted, farmers markets are also a good source, and the produce is often better than my local Safeway.

Ah but the leeks, that's where the Dummies had me; with geometric logic they proved Bush must be at fault, not them.

A year from now, when Obama is president, I will look forward to leeks at 3/$1.00, $0.30/gal. gasoline, and prime beef so cheap it's not even worth the effort to shoot your neighbor's dog.

Publius

9:56 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"A year from now, when Obama is president, I will look forward to leeks at 3/$1.00, $0.30/gal. gasoline, and prime beef so cheap it's not even worth the effort to shoot your neighbor's dog." publius

Hahaha. Except no one has ever said Obama could provide your little utopia. And, once again, a Jungian reference to leeks and dog meat. Maybe you could clue me in, publius. What have leeks and dog meat have to do with Obama? That little association wouldn't have anything to do with your twisted little mind, would it? Of course not, nutcase.

3:01 AM  
Anonymous Publius said...

Hahaha. Except no one has ever said Obama could provide your little utopia. And, once again, a Jungian reference to leeks and dog meat. Maybe you could clue me in, publius. What have leeks and dog meat have to do with Obama? That little association wouldn't have anything to do with your twisted little mind, would it? Of course not, nutcase.

Are you on the sauce ?

Carl Jung ? Where did you get the idea I was referencing him ? If you must know, I am a strict Freudian, so please don't insult me with Jung. ;)

Not sure about leeks, dogmeat and Obama, but Wright, Ayers and Obama seem to be a pretty good match.

Publius

10:40 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Not sure about leeks, dogmeat and Obama, but Wright, Ayers and Obama seem to be a pretty good match." Publius

Do they? And what Freudian concept do Wright, Ayers and Obama fall into, Publius (not a bad associative name yourself)? Are we going Oedipal? Does Obama want to do away with his father?

Go ahead. We're free to talk here. We're all, in the end, subject to the Freudian model. The fact that you brought up the Oedipal thing might be instructive in understanding who you really are.

2:02 AM  

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