Tuesday, May 27, 2008

DUmmie Spins "Recount" Fiction

I had intended to do no more than one DUFU edition based on the HBO fiction movie Recount which you can see in yesterday's DUmmie FUnnies EDITION. However, DUmmie Lorien has spun a Florida Recount fiction so egregious in its mendacity that I am not only DUFUing his/her THREAD titled, "RECOUNT: My own Florida election day 2000 nightmare" but I am also calling out DUmmie Lorien as a flat out LIAR. This DUmmie's entire thread post has the odor of fraud hanging all over it but the most blatant indication that it is a LIE is the accusation that on Election Day 2000 in Orange County (Orlando area), a white racist redneck cop stood outside a polling station in a black neighborhood and loudly made fun of voters entering to cast their ballots. DUmmie Lorien claims to have witnessed it but the biggest tell that this is a LIE besides the fact that such a cop would at the least have been reported to the authorities and likely assaulted for his insults is that DUmmie Lorien did not even bother to note the cop's name nor badge number. This is one DUmmie thread that I would like franksolich, the curator of the CONSERVATIVE CAVE, to investigate in detail along with the author, DUmmie Lorien. Perhaps DUmmie Lorien thought that he/she could just post lies in DUmmieland and get away with it. Sorry DUmmie Lorien but your lies are so over the top that I am even encouraging the news media to investigate the charges about the supposed white racist redneck cop outside the polling station taunting black voters on Election Day 2000. Let's see. All DUmmie Lorien has to do is tell the news media at which polling station he/she saw the cop and it should be quite easy to check police records as to which cop was stationed there that day. A charge of voter intimidation narrowed down to a specific location and person. So go ahead news media, check this one out. In fact, I think I will be sending a link to this DUFU edition to the media in the Orlando area. So let us now watch DUmmie Lorien spin Recount LIES in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, calling on the news media to check out this fiction about the racist redneck cop loudly taunting black voters on Election Day 2000, is in the [brackets]:


RECOUNT: My own Florida election day 2000 nightmare

[Stand by for yet more Recount fiction.]

As always, I volunteered with my local Democratic party (Orange county, FL in 2000) during the election year. I was appalled by the attitude of the director of our downtown HQ "Jared" towards Gore: "We won't be focusing on the Presidency here because we can't win it. We'll work for our local candidates instead". Jared stated. He didn't even order more than a handful of Gore bumper stickers or lawn signs to give away to supporters because "signs don't win elections", and what we did have on hand he charged the public for. $5 for a bumper sticker, $10 per lawn sign. Many Democrats who came in left empty handed and grumbling "well, if they are going to take THAT attitude then why bother? I don't have to go anywhere on election day". Despite my hectic schedule as a self employed illustrator and animator, I volunteered to man the front desk and phones just to improve relations and slip good Democrats a few free stickers and signs.

[Charging $5 for a political bumper sticker? I've heard of them selling for about a buck but $5 is mighty steep. Since DUmmie Lorien claims this exorbitant sale price took place at the downtown HQ, this should be easy for the NEWS MEDIA to investigate along with director "Jared."]

But those annoyances were NOTHING compared to what I experienced on election day. I was taken into an all minority section of town to distribute Democratic voter guides (lists of candidates and our positions on the issues) outside of the polling place. I had to stand 20 feet or more from the front door and was eyed warily by the only other white person there, a cop. Once voters started arriving the cop started intimidating them-especially the elderly and women. "What ya gonna do when your boy loses, huh? Ya gonna CRY when your boy loses"? he sneered in their faces. I was absolutely shocked by his behavior ;I had grown up in a liberal college town in the midwest and had never seen such unprofessional and stereotypical "southern white cop" behavior in action before. Hell, I had never even heard a white person utter the "N" word! I turned to my team leader who was there with me (thirty something African American guy) and asked what we can do. He said that all we could do is file a complaint later, and that would probably go no where.

[Here is where DUmmie Lorien steps over the fiction spinning line. Yeah, a white racist cop in the year 2000 can get away with "sneering" into the faces of black voters with no reaction from them. And why didn't DUmmie Lorien simply jot down the name and/or badge number of redneck cop? Of course, no report on this incident back in 2000 when a horde of Gore lawyers were sifting thru the state for the tiniest bit of evidence for voter intimidation and other irregularities. I am hereby calling out DUmmie Lorien as a flat out LIAR and calling upon the news media to investigate his fairy tale.]

I went back to HQ during lunch and told Jared what was happening. "We're getting a lot of complaints from every minority precinct about police intimidation, but there are so many other problems right now we can't deal with it" he didn't elaborate. I went back into a storage room for bottled water and found the 20' canvas overpass sign I had worked on for a week laying in a corner with my "For I-4 overpass-election day" sign still attached. I asked Jared why it hadn't gone out with the volunteers who were rallying for Gore at strategic areas in the city, and he once again said "nobody cares about signs". Two young male volunteers who were headed out to the overpass heard the conversation and grabbed my massive sign on their way out, thank goodness.

[Orlando police department. You have been accused of voter intimidation on Election Day 2000. I urge you to investigate this to prove DUmmie Lorien to be a flat out LIAR. In fact, I will also be sending a link to this DUFU edition to the Orlando police department. Hmmmm... Could there be a lawsuit for making fraudulent allegations about a police department?]

I went back to the polling place. The cop was still there, still getting in the voters faces. By 5:30 the traffic had really picked up, and suddenly we were being told that our poll would close at 6 instead of 7 like every other poll. My team leader was on his walkie talkie and cell phone, and he persuaded the poll workers to stay open another hour as REQUIRED BY LAW. Near 6PM all hell broke loose. Suddenly he and I were swarmed with voters who looked desperate. They had all been told by the poll workers that they had come to the wrong place to vote, and that the "right" place was across town. Since most had either come on foot or used public transportation, it was unlikely that they would get there in time. Dozens were heading home. My team leader and I told them all to stay with us, that their votes were important and we would find a way to fix this. He made many more calls and within minutes a fleet of church busses arrived. They were loaded up and took off, but didn't get far; the cops pulled our buses over and demanded to see their "taxi licenses". They forced the passengers off the buses when the drivers couldn't produce any.

[Yeah sure. A redneck cop in a black neighborhood is somehow going to get away with "getting in the voters faces" all day. I somehow think NOT. And no reports about this redneck cop until now. DUmmie Lorien, I hope you are prepared to name the polling station so the Orlando police department can investigate your fiction. Your election 2000 "nightmare" hasn't even started to begin, DUmmie Lorien.]

I went home for dinner, very discouraged, and found a message from one of my students on my voicemail. He sounded very upset and asked that I call back before the polls closed . It was 9pm, but I called anyway. He answered in a tense, tired voice. His story was just a capper to the day. He's was in his mid 20s, white, and registered as a Democrat for the first time eight months earlier (he had been an independent). He received his voter card in the mail, which told him to go to the same polling place where he had voted in the past. When he arrived at 9am they asked to see his ID. His name and address matched their records, but the woman signing him in stopped, then gave him an odd smile and said "you won't be voting today"." Why not"? asked my student "I have my voter card, my ID, all the information is correct on that sheet of paper in front of you-why can't I vote"? "You just can't Not today". she repeated, then nodded towards a cop who was standing by the door. The cop came over and said "Time to leave, son. You won't be voting today" My student protested so the cop took him by the arm and escorted him out of the building "Don't come back. It ain't worth your time". the cop said as he pushed him out the door. My student simply couldn't believe what had just happened. He went home and called everyone he could think of, but every voter, state official and democratic office line was busy. At eight PM he had been able to leave a message on a machine for the Orange county elections board. Days later he was asked to sign an affidavit about his experiences, but of course there was no way for him to vote at that point.

[And of course this student never noted the name nor badge number of this intimidating cop. Again, we want the polling station and name of the student to check out this piece of fiction as well.]

Naturally I wasn't surprised by what followed. I was shocked, however, that NONE of these local stories made it into the Orlando Sentinel or any other Florida papers or news outlets. Thousands of affidavits had been signed, but the media didn't give a crap. I marched on Tallahassee on inauguration day with thousands of others. I had made many protest signs, some of which called out the media for their GOP bias, and I handed them out to my fellow protesters from Orlando. We were at the head of the march and very visible to the media, so I was pulled aside by several reporters and asked about my signs. I repeated to them what I told you here, and I asked them to look into all those signed affidavits by disenfranchised voters. Days later I could find only one significant story on page 14 of the Orlando Sentinel that even mentioned our march. I could be seen with my sign in the photo that accompanied it, but there was no mention of voter fraud, just "voter anger". Fed up, I started to send out our story to political websites. BushWatch made it into a feature story, and soon I was contacted by Greg Palast of the BBC. He documented everything and followed up with several emails. He is still the ONLY reporter who has shown any real interest in it.

[And of course you never contacted at that time any of the media with information about the redneck cop taunting black voters. A situation that so "shocked" you that you didn't even note the name nor badge number of the outrageously racist cop. Riiiiiight!]

So understandably I get very, very pissed off whenever I hear someone say " Florida went for Bush in 2000". Even during the hellish hurricanes of 2004-three of which hit my home- I was told BY DUERS that I and every other Floridian deserved to be wiped off the map because we "gave" the election to Bush. I still hear this crap spewed on DU from time to time. If my story doesn't reinforce the realities of that day, maybe the movie "RECOUNT" will; Florida went for Gore but was stolen By BushCo. Many, many of us fought for our party and our country, and we don't deserve disrespect or outright hostility because they had the media and the Supreme Court in their pockets. Let's do all we can to not allow it to happen again

[Good news, DUmmie Lorien. By stupidly posting an absurd story about a racist cop openly taunting black voters on Election Day 2000, you may well have your "shocking" charges investigated. Of course, you will be able to supply simple details such as the location of the polling station where this incident supposedly occurred? Or will you have a convenient memory loss. And now on to the DUmmies swallowing this ridiculous story...]

The fix was in. I hope that someday the stories of you and millions of others will be collected and published and actually reported by journalists.

[I hope so too. Please, news media, investigate DUmmie Lorien's charge about the racist cop openly taunting black voters all day on Election Day 2000.]

My next door neighbor is the news director for our local PBS station, and even she won't do a story about it because her boss-a repug-won't allow those kinds of stories. Neither she nor her top reporters even knew that these things had happened!

[Yeah, PBS is a notorious hotbed of "repugs."]

It's horrible. My mother and sister have similar stories from Ohio in 2004. Gore Vidal talks about it. The story was suppressed and Congress sat on their hands. Both Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama have done nothing about it.

[I call on both Hillary and Barack to investigate this redneck cop fairy tale.]

I think of Florida as being stolen by the efforts of Jeb and the Supreme Court putting their stamp of approval on it.
Thanks for your efforts that day too.

["Efforts" that failed to take note of the name or badge number of a redneck cop taunting black voters all day.]

NOTHING will change until the truth is acknowledged.

[I would love either the news media or the Orlando police department to check out the "truth" of DUmmie Lorien's charges.]

Please send this off as an OP to as many newspapers as you can think of. It is an important experience and we need to keep shoving it in front of the American public's collective face.

[Yeah, send it off to all those newspapers. I would love for them to investigate that redneck cop fairy tale. In fact, if you don't, I will.]

I think someone should make a collection of these recollections for publication. Everyone needs to hear about these stories.

[Especially the redneck cop fairy tale. That should be an EASY one to investigate. DUmmie Lorien, even though you were too conveniently lazy to note the cop's name or badge number, surely you remember the polling station where the incident supposedly occured ALL DAY on Election Day 2000. I'm sure the Orlando police department would like to find out who that racist cop was...IF he ever existed in the first place. Hee! Hee!]

Your story literally brings tears to my eyes. The last 8 years have left me numb. I can't even bring myself to get fired up over the upcoming election. I'm just going through the motions at this point.

[There might well be some legal motions filed against DUmmie Lorien.]

In the final weeks he jacked up the price to $8 for a sticker and $20 for a sign. Democrats aren't the wealthiest lot, so that was a bit uncalled for. It turned voters off, and that, I believe was a very bad thing indeed. I personally bought muffins and other bakery items from Costco and sold them at the front desk, using the money to buy stickers and signs for those who wanted them but couldn't pay. It was a matter of public relations and gaining support, not merely an issue of how effective signs are.

[LOL! Not content with claiming that a mere Gore bumper sticker sold for $5, DUmmie Lorien now alleges the price was finally boosted to 8 bucks. Riiiight! And you were stupid enought to have a bake sale to buy those 8 dollar bumper stickers? Riiiight! If Jared were such an idiot whom you disliked, why didn't you just give those bumper stickers away for free? Or was Jared hovering over you all the time with a sales sheet?]

I was standing by the front desk one evening when a middle aged couple came in for signs and button. They were told that that would be $25.00 for one of each.

[This is even FUnnier than the bumper sticker fairy tale. $25 bucks for a lousy campaign button. Did this make the Guinness Book of Records? It might cost that much for campaign campaign buttons way back in the past but for a CURRENT campaign?]

It was our local rank and file Fascists that stole 2000 and 2004And how they were all co-ordinated, I'll never know I guess. The cop, the election worker, even the do nothings in local dem management, the religious righties. They must have been under instructions to foul up things however they could because they are the ones who were at fault for most of it.Sure, the voters were caged and the machines were rigged but it seemed like the rank and file zombies in our midst they were the ones who robbed us

[Stabbed in the back by secret Rovian agents. Paranoia they name is DUmmie.]

I still think that "Jared" was a mole while the rest of us were making phone calls, stuffing envelopes, delivering absentee ballots, etc. he was always there reading CNN online or surfing the net. He wouldn't place orders for supplies for weeks at a time. He pissed off voters who came in to volunteer. I locked horns with him many times, but he would never take any kind of significant action personally to help the cause. I wonder who the hell had put him there. The cops and election workers were quite obviously organized by someone, but who? We may never know how many agencies were in on it.

[And quite obviously the cop who you accused of harrassing voters and "Jared" both have grounds for suing you, DUmmie Lorien. Hmmm... It shouldn't be hard to find "Jared" since you claimed he was the director of the downtown Orlando Democrat HQ in 2000 and I'm sure you can remember the polling station where the redneck cop was harrassing the voters...unless you had a very convenient memory loss.]

I am Tired of the Right Telling Me "To Get Over It!" We must never forget that we all got screwed by Bush and co! I won't ever"get over it!" I know if we get over it that it will happen again and again.

[Hey, I'm giving DUmmie Lorien the opportunity to PROVE his/her accusations. I ENCOURAGE the news media to contact this DUmmie to verify the story. Hee! Hee!]

VIDEO -- next time, we need cameras at every polling place Whenever something like this happens, it needs to be taped. And blasted to the media.

[You don't need video. It should be easy enough to track down that redneck cop who supposedly harrased minority voters on Election Day 2000. Also it shouldn't be too much of a problem to track down stab-in-the-back "Jared" who charged $25 for a campaign button. Now we can find out if both were secret Rovian agents working actively to undermine Al Gore in Florida in 2000.]

Everyone should have a camera with them this time around. Up the memory in your phone cameras if it is indeed expandable, carry extra media with you if you can. We can't let this happen again, and this time around, our candidate is either black or female. It's going to be a wild ride.

[I'm just hoping that DUmmie Lorien can up the memory in his skull to the point he can remember where the redneck cop was harrassing the black voters as they meekly refused to protest their treatment or even report him. ...Okay, gang, I'm calling BS on DUmmie Lorien's Recount fairy tale. This DUFU edition is going out to the news media. The allegations of DUmmie Lorien are so outrageous that they MUST be investigated. BTW, the redneck cop should be fired not only because of his unprofessional conduct but also because he demonstrated incredible STUPIDITY by risking the loss of his pension for harrassing voters all day. Of course, this is assuming the cop even exists which is a mighty big assumption.]

21 Comments:

Anonymous dutch508 said...

not content with the leftist chant of 'Diebold' stole the election for the Republicans, the DUmmies are no saying that their Democrat party voting offices were really in league with Rove?

Are DUmmies insane?

Does a bear **** in the woods?

10:52 AM  
Blogger Jewels said...

WOW.

I can't believe they are falling for that tripe.

I love how he's pointing fingers at "Jared" now as well.

Who'd-a-thunk that an election could be lost all because of a cop and a guy named Jared.

tsk.

11:09 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sounds like typical historical fiction

3:11 PM  
Blogger Son Of The Godfather said...

Actually, I can believe the DUmmie... You see, when I went to vote for GW in 2000 in California, I was intimidated by a pale, sickly-looking, unshaven miscreant wearing a tie-die shirt, khaki shorts, and Birkenstocks.

"Don't you vote for Bush!" he yelled as the scent of Pachouli and body odor hit my nostrils.

Well, I can tell you, that was quite enough. I turned around without voting and went home.

Can you believe the media didn't even report it?!?

F*ckin' fascists! THEY STOLE CALIFORNIA!!!!

*throws pizza box across room*

3:49 PM  
Anonymous Ken said...

If Lorien had gone any any longer, bumper stickers would have been $450 and yard signs would come with financing. The reports are that mental illness is now the number one disability in the USA - I have no doubt a significant portion of the DU commune is afflicted, based solely on the number of routine daily events which cause DUmmies to shed tears. Seriously, they cry over every damned thing. How long did it take before someone said "Speak Truth to Power" or some other nonsensical bumper sticker slogan?

3:52 PM  
Anonymous DumbAss Tanker said...

Sounds like Lorien is trying to compete with TominTib (aka "TiT") for 'Biggest Liar' this year.

4:19 PM  
Blogger Corona said...

Mommys' basement must have a serious gas leak.

5:25 PM  
Anonymous 0311 crunchie said...

I call BS on two glaring things alone. 1st he said that he was "20 feet" from the front door, as if he was not allowed closer. If this was true, he was violating FL law by 30' since all campaigning must be 50' from the entrance to any polling place.

2nd was when he said all they could do was file a complaint later. All they would have to do in real life, not a fantasy, would be to A0 Call dispatch and request a supervisor, or B) Just wait for the damned supervisor to show up since that is all that road sergeants do on election day is check on polling places. There are so many more red BS flags on this it hurts my head. I have strong walls and they don't give much when I slam my brain housing group against them. Idjuts.

7:22 PM  
Blogger Fundamentalist Reformation said...

Hey, what can you expect out of a guy who eats every meal at Subway?

10:51 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"DUmmie Lorien claims to have witnessed it but the biggest tell that this is a LIE besides the fact that such a cop would at the least have been reported to the authorities and likely assaulted for his insults is that DUmmie Lorien did not even bother to note the cop's name nor badge number." PJ

First of all, so what? Next, why an all-out investigation? Has some crime been committed here? Murder? Theft? Assault? What should she be charged with? Wait, I get it...DUmmie Lorien may have posted bullshit on the internet. Booga Booga. So scary. Investigate her ass.

Methinks thou protest too much, PJ.

3:17 AM  
Anonymous dutch508 said...

Methinks you deflect too much DUmmie.

The point is the left has cried FOUL! since day one on the 2000election, with nothing to prove it! Now they go on to accuse the Police in voter harrassment. Let's see, it's one thing to whine and lie about everything, cough cough Obama, but quite another to accuse the law enforcement of Florida of a federal crime.

Matbe you need to stop watching Law and Order and return to real life.

8:59 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The stupid is strong in that one.

Skul

12:03 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

How long did it take before someone said "Speak Truth to Power" or some other nonsensical bumper sticker slogan?

A Ctrl+F search of the DUmmie thread revealed that the phrase "speak truth to power" was, in fact, not used. Amazing, I know.

1:15 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Also, this:

http://www2.gol.com/users/quakers/living_the_truth.htm

It's been a cliche since 1955.

1:17 PM  
Anonymous radical redneck said...

First of all, so what?

Moonbat knows it's a lie - yet excuses it anyway. Ignorance, mindless hate and moral obtuseness - gleeful recipe' for Moonbattia.

2:21 PM  
Blogger Henry Louis Gomez said...

Here's is the boring truth about the 2000 election. If you remove the media's false projections about a state that was too close to call and look at actual election returns on the night of the election you will see that George W. Bush never trailed Al Gore in Florida. He had a sizeable margin that shrunk over the course of the night as the larger cities, particularly in south Florida were counted but never trailed. If Gore had won his court case and gotten the selected counties he wanted recounted he still would not have won. The infamous butterfly ballot was designed by an elections supervisor that also happened to be a Democrat. This may have influenced the outcome but once the election was held, it was too late to do anything about it. You could not have a one-state run-off for the presidency.

7:02 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"A Ctrl+F search of the DUmmie thread revealed that the phrase "speak truth to power" was, in fact, not used. Amazing, I know."

A couple others didn't show up either.
"DUAC!! DUAC!!" and,
"Take to the streets!!1!"

I'm disappointed.

Skul

7:14 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

'Methinks you deflect too much DUmmie. The point is the left has cried FOUL!"

So the fuck what? Would one of you please explain why this should be important to me, troglaman?

Oh wait. Thanks Skul. I get it now - "DUAC!! DUAC!! and, Take to the streets!!1!"

Makes perfect sense when you think about it. My Troglamanimalian Great Great Grandfathers would often cry out EXACTLY THE SAME THING while plundering neighboring tribes. And we're still here. Think about it.

12:43 AM  
Anonymous mandible claw said...

Anonymous said...
"DUmmie Lorien claims to have witnessed it but the biggest tell that this is a LIE besides the fact that such a cop would at the least have been reported to the authorities and likely assaulted for his insults is that DUmmie Lorien did not even bother to note the cop's name nor badge number." PJ

First of all, so what? Next, why an all-out investigation? Has some crime been committed here? Murder? Theft? Assault? What should she be charged with? Wait, I get it...DUmmie Lorien may have posted bullshit on the internet. Booga Booga. So scary. Investigate her ass.

Methinks thou protest too much, PJ.

3:17 AM


Is that like how we should wait for an impeachable offence before starting impeachment proceedings on the Shrub?

4:50 AM  
Anonymous ray said...

"Would one of you please explain why this should be important to me, troglaman?"

How's that narcissism working out for you?

9:39 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"How's that narcissism working out for you?" ray

I have my good days and bad days like everybody else. Thanks for asking, ray. It's sometimes tough being the center of the universe AND my own love object. Am I worth the commitment? Could I settle down with someone so much like me? The standard stuff.

11:25 PM  

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home