TruthOut STILL Stands By Hoaxmas Story

A former fashion photographer known as Marc Ash of Truthout has issued a PROCLAMATION declaring that the mighty Truthout Triumvirate of Pitt, Leopold and himself are stubbornly standing behind their ABSURD Hoaxmas fairy tale that Karl Rove was indicted on May 12 despite the fact that more than a hundred business hours have elapsed since then. I guess we can also expect Ash to insist on New Year's Eve that Rove was definitely indicted back in May despite the fact that no indictment has been reported outside of TruthOut. Yeah, and there were still Japanese on isolated Pacific islands as late as the 1960s still believing that World War II was STILL going on. You can see the DUmmie reaction to this bizarre insistence in this THREAD titled, "The Continued Interest in the Rove Indictment Story by Marc Ash." So let us now watch the TruthOut Triumvirate make their Kamikaze charge against the hard wall of cold reality as the commentary of your humble correspondent, wondering if Pied Piper Pitt is consoling himself over copious quantities of sake sauce, is in the [brackets]:

The Continued Interest in the Rove Indictment Story by Marc Ash

[The Continued Interest in the Bizarre Refusal to Acknowledge Reality.]

We are still getting a high volume of email inquiries on our Rove indictment story from May 13, 2006. We greatly appreciate your interest, and are well aware of the right of all Americans to know what is happening here.

["Are you still absurdly standing by a Hoax perpetrated by a lying drug addict?"]

So again, for the record: We stand by the story. TO's staff is treating this story as our highest priority and will be following up with additional information as it becomes available.

[So again, for the record: We continue to deny reality. TO's staff is praying that this story can magically become true and will be scurrying to our spider holes when the facts become available.]

Clearly the question is: "If Karl Rove has been indicted, why has there been no official announcement?" Right now we have only general indicators as to why an announcement might not be made when an indictment has been returned. And even though these indicators do exist, we need to more clearly understand exactly what is happening in this case before we can report on them.

[Right now we have only divining rods to explain why no indictment announcement has been made. And even though these indicators are floating around in the ether, we need to more clearly understand what is happening in order to stall for more time.]

This a unique situation, and frankly a stressful one. We would like to thank all of those who have offered their support during the course of this ordeal. We fully intend to press on.

[Does anybody out there have a Valium? I haven't been so stressed out since the time Kate Moss wouldn't sit still for a photo shoot.]

TruthOutTheDoor

I imagine it really really is stressful for all concerned...
Regardless how one sides on the whole controversy, surely we can acknowledge how difficult this must be. This, too, shall pass, I suppose.

[It's certainly stressful for Pied Piper Pitt. He's heavy into the Meds prescribed by the Bukowski Pharmacy.]

Be prepared for all the sarcastic remarks upcoming.

[Just check this edition of the DUmmie FUnnies.]

The silence of Pitt, T.O. and Leopold speaks volumes at this point in time, IMHO. They knew of Leopold's lack of credibility in the past, and they are still standing by his story in spite of their current loss of credibility, as exemplified by Google and Yahoo news, and most recently, being lambasted by Maurie and Connie on MSNBC. Why is this? Why are they still supporting Leopold? It is suicidal, if there were not a great deal of credibility in Leopold's original story. I posted an opinion about a week ago, on the possibility of Leopold being "Hatfielded" and/or "Rathered" by his sources. This is such a Rovean tactic, to spread disinformation through an unreliable news source, so that no one believes the bearer of the news, and the true content of the story is lost and/or forgotten. I could try to repost the original, because it was soon locked, but I found out yesterday that it is against DU policy to 'repost' a locked thread!

[The Leopold as Rovian Agent Theory. So what does that make Pitt? A Brainwashed Mind Numbed Robot?]

How embarrassing. They're just following Leopold off the cliff, it looks like.

[Accompanied by a tune played by the Pied Piper.]

If they just made a mistake, I'd be the first to say move on & let it go. But they still won't even admit making a mistake, & that just seems arrogant to me & disrespectful to the readers that believed them. The story might've hurt creditibility some, but I think it's the continuing refusal to retract it or explain it that's really dragging Truthout's reputation down at this point.

[So you have little faith in the journalistic credibility of a former fashion photographer?]

I do believe in fairies, I do believe in fairies... and then Tinkerbell comes back to life.

[Tinkerbell will tinkle her Pixie Dust all over the Hoaxmas story so Pied Piper Pitt can wake up from his nightmare to find this is all really a Fairy Tale...And now to watch the Pixie Dust being poured on this story by commentators at the TruthOutTheDoor site.

Thank you for sticking to your guns and riding out the storm. I hope your day of vindication is near!

[Their day of vindication will come in the Year 2525 if Man is still Alive.]

Here we still wait for Rove to be indicted. How long has it been? Three or four weeks since Truthout first printed this story. Their great scoop and it appears like it was all made up. Even if it happened today (IT WON'T) it would be irrelevant as far as Truthout is concerned. Truthout's fair reporting of the news has been exposed for what it really is. I laugh as I write this.

[I laugh as I read this.]

I've trusted Jason Leopold for as long as I've been reading Truthout! Some want to hand behind to be safe and accepted by others...and so do not want to form an opinion. I say, Keep On, Jason Leopold. I trust your reporting and by the way, you guys, remember all those democratic candidates in 2004 who were afraid of Al Gore? They didn't trust their own popularity, wanted to pick a candidate whose coattails they could ride in on. Look where we are! I'm trusting in my own good sense and I'm also willing to grab onto Jason's coattails! He hasn't let us down yet!!!!

[Is that you, Jason Leopold, taking hits on your Bong stick?]

Don't be discouraged. It could take a long while. For those who still haven't overcome the "instant-gratification" of our consumer and information culture, you'll just have to practice harder on the patience virtue. There's no doubt in my gut that the wait will be worth it, and it's critical to maintaining the integrity of the publication.

[Still waiting for John Kerry's inauguration on Jan. 20?]

How is it possible that PRIOR to publication you guys had all these "independent" sources able to provide information but now you have none? Did Bush intimidate your sources? Imprison them? Have them rubbed out? If so, that would be a really cool story, even better than the Rove is indicted one. If not, then why can't these excellent sources provide you with an explanation?

[Because Tinkerbell waved her magic wand and made them disappear. Poof!]

Not that I want to tell Truthout how to run its shop, but it might be time just to shut up about this. I think at this point, it's all about ego...TO has to be able to stake some claim to breaking a Rove indictment if it ever happens. While I appreciate the ballsiness it takes to stand by a stoyr like this, the law of diminishing returns is in full effect at this point.

[Every day, in every little way, TruthOut is getting Lamer and Lamer.]

As William Rivers Pitt wrote somewhere else, "If this were Texas Hold 'Em, the truthout report on Rove's indictment would be an "all in."

[If this were Texas Hold 'Em, William Rivers Pitt would be pawning his earring after losing big on an all in where he was holding NOTHING but Leopold's worthless IOU.]

DUmmie Despair Over 2006 Elections

It's my birthday today (along with Clint Eastwood, Brooke Sheilds, Colin Farrell, and John George II, Elector of Saxony) and my present has come in the form of it being the LAST day on the Today Show for Katie Couric. No longer will I have to watch her early morning fawning over liberals (like Al Gore recently) or frowning at the mention of conservatives or at "unpleasant events" such as the capture of Saddam Hussein. Somehow I think her move to anchor CBS News will turn out to be a BIG MISTAKE and Katie will regret ever leaving the environs of her AM show. One of Katie's recent activities has been as a cheerleader (along with a BIG CHUNK of the rest of the Drive-By Media) for the Democrats. In this capacity, Katie and her liberal media cohorts, are treating the upcoming Congressional and Senate elections this November as a big Democrat victory of LANDSLIDE proportions. For them it is no longer a question of whether or not the Democrats will capture the House and Senate but by how much. A lot of the DUmmies are already celebrating the "inevitable" Democrat victory this November but underlying it all is a current of nervous DOUBT and even DESPAIR over the upcoming 2006 election results as can be seen in two threads, "The GOP/ROVE machine is going to take you down AGAIN!!!" and "GOP planning to disenfranchise millions in 06, 08". So let us now watch the DUmmies despair about the upcoming elections in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, dining on a birthday cake chock full of DUmmie angst, is in the [brackets]:

The GOP/ROVE machine is going to take you down AGAIN!!!

[Ah yes! Karl Rove. But hasn't he already been INDICTED on May 12? According to TruthOut and Pied Piper Pitt, Patrick Fitgerald gave Rove 24 business hours over two weeks ago to get his affairs in order to prepare for his famous White House lawn Frog Walk.]

It is already in full swing baby, you just need to look a little closer:

[Freudenschade, baby!]

1) NY Times article slamming Hillary and her marriage last week

[SNIFF! A rock solid marriage like that based on true love debased by a nefarious newspaper report.]

2) Pelosi's very negative article this morning about how both sides are hoping she is the speaker, can you imagine a Pelosi agenda?...etc. OMG!!!

[Republicans want Pelosi as speaker? For laughs maybe?]

3) Multiple stories about Reid taking free tickets and Abramoff client's money...etc.

[IMPOSSIBLE! Only the EVIL Republicans are capable of corruption as opposed to the Simon pure Democrats. After all, we are being flogged daily with the constant media drumbeat about the GOP "Culture of Corruption." It is one of Katie Couric's favorite themes.]

It is happening before your own eyes...Slowly, but it will get nastier soon...Frankly, I see us falling asleep at the switch AGAIN!!! Before too long, this will take hold, then Rove buries us in November.

[Despite the assurances by one William Rivers Pitt that Rove has ALREADY been indicted on May 12.]

The only solution, the only way for us to win, is to move to the left and take the gloves off now...We need Feingold out there on everything progressive, we need Murtha out there on everything Iraq, we need Dean out there on domestic policy, and we need Wesley Clark out there on foreign policy...

[We need Kucinich out there on nationalizing the oil industry...We need Lenin out there on collectivization...]

Then, we need attack dogs: Kerry, Kennedy, Edwards, Gore...etc.

[Wouldn't Edwards be considered an attack poodle?]

Yes, let's take a lead from the Dixie Chicks? I'm not ready to make nice!

[Yeah, lets take a lead from the Dixie Chicks and lose our base of support!]

Don't forget attack dogs Rangel and Conyers etc.

[Don't forget the rabid duo.]

Rangel is One Dog That Needs to be Muzzled. Even hinting that we might bring back the draft could lose us 50 seats in the House.

[Don't worry. Rabid Rangel voted against his own draft bill when it came up for a House vote.]

Rangel is great! Hinting that there might be a draft brought out a lot of young voters in 2004! And they all voted Dem!

[Thanx for putting your finger on the TRUE reason that Rangel introduced his draft bill that he voted against. It was done SOLELY for the purpose of scaring the brain dead MTV fans. Fortunately, few of those deadbeats bothered to vote since they didn't have the patience to wait 10 minutes on a poll line.]

We need to make sure that enough DEMS vote so that every election is a landslide. We have to beat the machines.

[RoveNet has already programmed a T-800 Model 101 Diebold Machine to TERMINATE you.]

Unfortunately, won't happen. Amazing how many doors I knocked on and the Dems said they're not even REGISTERED and had no desire to do so!

[Not to worry. A large block of dead Democrats are currently being registered at cemetary locations all over the country.]

ABANDON ALL HOPE ALL YE WHO CAMPAIGN THIS YEAR! YOUR EFFORTS ARE FUTILE! JUST GO AHEAD AND KILL YOURSELVES NOW!

[Why so gloomy? Shouldn't the DUmmies at least enjoy some Freudenschade first? And speaking of gloom, let us now turn our attention to this gloomy THREAD, "NYT: GOP planning to disenfranchise millions in 06, 08."]

NYT: GOP planning to disenfranchise millions in 06, 08

Looks like Smirk could go into November with 98% disapproval and GOP will still pick up seats.

NEW YORK TIMES

[It looks like the NY Times is already coming up with a handy excuse if the Democrats are defeated in November. See, if the Democrats win then it would be because of the "will of the people," but a Democrat loss can ONLY be attributable to dirty tricks according to this article.]

Wasn't this one of Mark Crispin Miller's predictions
in "Fooled Again"? That the shenanigans of 2000 and 2004 are just the beginning?

[Mere trial runs for 2006. We now have the Diebold pre-programming techniques down pat.]

They just keep stealing the country. Creeping fascism is building speed.

[WOO! WOO! ALL ABOARD THE CREEPING FASCISM EXPRESS!]

It is largely a "fait accompli".

[True. We own ALL your Diebold machines. Do NOT attempt to adjust your voting screen on election day.]

We can do PLENTY about it. First thing you do, if you truly love your country, is to shoot your television right in the eye.

[FINALLY. A practical solution.]

The repukes CANNOT allow a Dem victory, because that would be followed by a slew of indictments and an overthrowing of their ideological program. They want to stay out of jail, they have to do this. And they know it.

[We need to elect Democrats in order to throw the Republicans in jail and make it a Thought Crime to be a Conservative.]

We all know it, and there isn't a F*CKING thing we can do about it

[Too bad Katie Couric will no longer be on the tube in the morning to perk up your spirits with reports about the "inevitable" Democrat victory this November.]

It's time to sue the crap out of these nazis. They have no concept of honesty or constitutionality or morality. Just naked lust for power and money.

[Now is the time to begin preparing your Election Loss lawsuits.]

Any suit would quickly make it to a Bush hack judge, and at that point would be killed. The Nazis look like cub scouts compared to the current GOP/

[So states another denizen of the "Reality Based Community."]

This is so frustrating I could scream. The majority party is paving the way to keep a permanent majority...where is the outrage.

[We are OUTRAGED that the GOP keeps winning elections. We need to sue them!]

GOP candidates partricipating in this conspiracy need to be charged with conspiracy, don't you think ?

[Charge all GOP candidates with crimes by redefining campaigning as a Republican as a conspiracy and then criminalize it.]

I do registration drives. In 04, I had a stack of maybe 10 completed forms stolen by an unbalanced volunteer. In FL, that would cost $50,000. I would need to stand guard over every volunteer and practically strip search them before they could leave an event to be certain they were not walking off with a few forms.

[Thanx for the early morning laugh at the vision of paranoid you strip searching all your volunteers for registration forms.]

Election theft is far worse than cop-killing. Worse than 9/11 or any incident of terrorism. It is literally High Treason. It undermines the only moral principle on which the nation was founded and continues (in theory) to rest -- that gov't power can only be derived from the consent of the governed.

[Nice head of rabid foam on your mouth there as you work yourself into another insane frenzy.]

NOTHING that the GOP does is criminal, because there is no one to bring them to justice. They have completely saturated the courts, media, and executive branch with members of their syndicate. Anton Scalia said after he fixed election 2000 that nothing in the constitution guarantees a citizen the right to vote. they are above the law, and there is nothing we can do about it, legally. You probably need to come to grips with that fact if you are to pursue a remedy.

[You need to come to grips with that fact by assuming the fetal position on the ground with thumb firmly stuck in mouth.]

We are pointing out that, save the tragic human costs, there is nothing that has been done in our names that can't be undone or remedied. That includes impeachments, war crimes prosecutions, and tax-kickback recovery.

[Translated from DUmmieSpeak, "tax-kickback recovery" means "more taxes."]

get people invested to the point that they'll be ready to cause a ruckus if the SCOTUS or these GOPrano bastards steal yet another election

[LOL! Thanx for giving me a FUnnie new word to play with in future DUFU editions: "GOPrano."]

we're completely powerless.

[Remember what I said above about assuming the fetal position.]

The next free and fair election will be after the next revolution.

[So DUmmie burythehatchet posted with the strains of "The Internationale" playing in the background.]

Hate to say it, but secret ballots are being used against us.

[We need open ballots so we can harrass the reactionaries who voted for the EVIL Republicans.]

What I predict: Criminal Repubs keep control 06. In 08 they elect a new Repub president and keep control. At this point we see that it is serious. There is no more fooling around. Secret groups will form. Gov will crack down violently and put the new Halliburton detention camps to good use.

[All true except for the part about the Halliburton detention camps. Actually it will be Walmart detention camps. Surely you aren't naive enough to believe that those new Walmart Super Stores being constructed around the country are really stores?]

We begin to live history book history. One of those major turning points for the human race. No more fantasy land for the U.S. We will be living a modern and more violent version of 1789. How it ends is a toss up but in any case I'm afraid the comforts of the 20th century will be gone for decades. A couple of years ago I would have thought I would have to be crazy to say this stuff but unfortunately it seems all too possible at the moment.

[And now we KNOW you're crazy.]

Halliburton Happy Camps. I have no doubt this is the exact reason Halliburton is building those camps. Political dissidents they'll call us. Fallout from election fraud is the first thing that came to mind when I heard about Halliburton's contract - we know it isn't for immigrants (though "bird flu" could put the populations of blue states in them in November I suppose). Bastards will do anything to carry out their evil plan. With luck we'll be sent to psych wards, but more likely these 21st Century Nazis will continue taking their cues from Hitler's playbook.

[Look at the bright side. While you are an inmate of the Halliburton Happy Camps, you will be entitled to Halliburton Happy Meals which consist of rice pilaf with orange glazed chicken.]

Pied Piper Pitt Enters The DUmmie Zone

YOU'RE TRAVELLING THROUGH ANOTHER DIMENSION. A DIMENSION NOT ONLY OF SIGHT AND SOUND BUT OF MINDLESSNESS. A JOURNEY INTO A BIZARRE ASYLUM WHOSE BOUNDARIES ARE THAT OF THE IMAGINATION. THAT'S THE SIGNPOST UP AHEAD---YOUR NEXT STOP, THE DUMMIE ZONE.

(A car is roaring fast down a country road late at night in western Nebraska. At the wheel is Pied Piper Pitt. He has a very sad look on his face, almost crying, as he mutters to himself: "I'll show them! In a couple of days they won't have the Magic Man to kick around any more and then they'll realize how much they miss me! Damn them all to HELL!!!" Suddenly a bright light radiates in the sky over a nearby cornfield. Pitt pulls his car over to the side of the road and looks on in astonishment as the light gets closer and closer. Pitt leaps out of the car and runs into the cornfield, closer to the bright light which is hovering only a couple of dozen feet over the ground. In the foreground we see Rod Serling stepping next to the road in front of the cornfield.)

SERLING: Portrait of a left-wing teller of tall tales named William Rivers Pitt. A man so desperate to make himself famous that he recently perpetrated a phony news story. The angry backlash created when his hoax was exposed has forced Pitt to give up on all hope of ever becoming a big political player. As a result, Pitt has decided to cross the country to melodramatically end it all by driving off the "Chicky Run" cliff in Malibu made famous by Rebel Without A Cause. However, Pitt doesn't yet realize it but he has just made a sharp detour into.....The DUmmie Zone.)

(Pitt runs beneath the shining light which he now sees as coming from a flying saucer hovering overhead.)

PITT: OH DEAR ALLAH! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT! A FLYING SAUCER!!!

(A booming voice is heard from the flying saucer.)

SAUCER VOICE: ATTENTION EARTHLING! WE HAVE TRAVELLED OVER A BILLION LIGHT YEARS TO DELIVER AN IMPORTANT MESSAGE TO YOUR PLANET!

PITT: YES! YES!

SAUCER VOICE: WE WILL BRING PEACE AND PROSPERITY TO YOUR PLANET!

PITT: GREAT NEWS!

SAUCER VOICE: AND WE WILL MAKE YOU ABSOLUTE RULER OF THE EARTH!

PITT: Could I even have Bush impeached?

SAUCER VOICE: OF COURSE!

PITT: And tried as a war criminal before the International Court at The Hague?

SAUCER VOICE: YOU WOULD BE THE ABSOLUTE RULER OF EARTH SO YOU CAN DO ANYTHING YOU WANT!

PITT (jumping up and down): OH HOW WONDERFUL!!! I'm already thinking about the schoolgirl groupies worshipping my every word! First I'm going to take horrible revenge on all those who doubted my story about...

SAUCER VOICE (interrupting Pitt): BUT---IN ORDER FOR THIS TO HAPPEN AND TO EARN THIS HONOR, YOU MUST RETURN TO THIS CORNFIELD WITH AT LEAST ONE OTHER EARTHLING AT EXACTLY MIDNIGHT CORNHUSKER DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME TOMORROW. THIS WILL BE A TEST OF YOUR LEADERSHIP ABILITY TO CONVINCE OTHER EARTH PEOPLE TO BELIEVE IN YOU!

PITT: HA! HA! Piece of cake! I'll have you know that I have a reputation for leadership all over the Internet. I even worked as a press secretary for Dennis Kucinich until...

SAUCER VOICE (interrupting Pitt again): ENOUGH ALREADY WITH THE SELF-PUFFERY! WE WILL RETURN AT MIDNIGHT TOMORROW!

(The flying saucer rises up into the sky and disappears.)

(We see Pitt's car speeding into a small town as it honks wildly. The car screeches to a halt in the middle of the street and Pitt jumps out. He struts in wide circles screaming as the sleeping town residents emerge from their homes. Before them is the spectacle of a crazed maniac in a black cowboy hat spouting what seems to be absurd nonsense.)

PITT: YEEEEEAAAAGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!! I'M KING OF THE WORLD!!! FOLLOW THE PIED PIPER INTO THE CORNFIELD AT MIDNIGHT AND YOU WILL BE BLESSED FROM MAKING ME YOUR ABSOLUTE RULER! YEEEEEEEAAAAGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

(Pitt continues his loud bantam rooster strutting until a hand clamps down on his shoulder from behind. Pitt turns to see a uniformed man. It is the town sheriff.)

SHERIFF: What's your problem, Boy, that you have to wake up the whole town?

PITT: I was driving from Boston when I saw a flying saucer over a cornfield! Anyway, the good news is that you folks will have the privilege of returning with me there at midnight so I can rule over you and end the Bush Family Evil Empire and..."

SHERIFF (interrupting): You Boston folks must think we're all a bunch of stupid Cornhusker hicks out here coming up with a dopey story like that as an excuse for disturbing the peace.

PITT: Please, Sheriff! I meant no harm.

(Pitt pulls out his cell phone.)

PITT (continuing): I won't bother the unenlightened folks here any more. All I need to do is call...

(The sheriff yanks the cell phone out of Pitt's hand.)

SHERIFF: You won't be calling anybody since you're going to spend the night in jail.

PITT: But sheriff! I need to call...

SHERIFF: Shut up, Boy, unless you want me to make it a week in jail.

PITT: Okay, Sheriff. I'll be quiet. Just please give me my cell phone in the morning.

(We see the sheriff locking a cell door behind Pitt. Pitt nervously paces back and forth all night.)

PITT (to himself): Keep your cool! Just wait until morning when I can call one of my many admirers to meet me here.

(9 A.M. the next morning. The sheriff opens the cell door and hands Pitt his cell phone. Pitt steps outside into the street and eagerly begins dialing his cell phone.)

PITT: Hello, Skinner? It's Will PItt here with INCREDIBLE NEWS!!! I'm in Nebraska and last night a flying saucer told me I could rule the earth and rid the world of reactionary Republicans.

(Pitt pauses as he listens to Skinner's reply.)

PITT (continuing): No, no! This time it is for real. All you have to do is hop a flight right away to Omaha, then rent a car and drive a couple of hundred miles west to...)

(Pitt pauses as he listens to Skinner's reply again.)

PITT (continuing): Of course I'm serious, Skinner! Why don't you believe me?

(Pitt pauses for Skinner's reply.)

PITT (continuing): The truth? Okay this time I'll give you the truth! That whole story about Karl Rove being indicted on May 12 was a FRAUD! I was just trying to get a quick easy way to make make my TruthOut website famous, along with me, all over the Web. I took a gamble on Karl Rove being indicted that week and tried to cash in on the "scoop" but I got burned. I'm baring my soul to you now in all honesty because you HAVE to believe my flying saucer story is REAL!

(Pitt pauses as he listens to Skinner's reply.)

PITT (continuing): DAMN YOU, SKINNER!!! When this story pans out, and all the little fish try to swim home, I am going to say, "Sorry, you had a chance to stand with an ally, and instead decided to say, 'I find it very hard not to be skeptical.'"

(Pitt pauses again to listen to the reply.)

PITT (continuing): This was a wheat-from-the-chaff moment. You spend a good deal of time talking about standing strong but you publicly screwed one man who has stood stronger for you than any other. Name for me please the new best-selling book, translated into twelve languages, that thanks you and your site above anything else. First and Foremost. There is one. Only one. Before my own mother, I thanked you.

(An angry Pitt pauses again for the reply and then screams into the cell phone.)

PITT (screaming): YOU'RE IN THE WRONG BUSINESS! I AM DISGUSTED! YOU ARE NO BETTER THAN THE CRETINS WHO HAVE TAKEN OVER YOUR SITE!!!

(The sheriff steps outside to confront Pitt.)

SHERIFF: With all that yelling you sound like you want to spend the rest of the week as a guest of the jailhouse.

PITT (nervously): No! Not that! Look, I won't bother anybody in town. I promise. Could you tell me where the town library is located?

SHERIFF: Just down the street on the left. And STAY out of trouble, Boston Boy!

(We see Pitt at the library, sitting in front of a computer on the Democrat Underground website. He posts the following thread and message:)

Will Pitt: Just Tell 'Em You Know Me

Hey Everybody! Last night a voice from a flying saucer promised that if I show up with someone in the middle of a cornfield in Nebraska, space aliens would make me absolute ruler of the earth and I would be able to toss all conservatives into jail for political crimes. All I need is for just one of you to meet me in Nebraska in the next few hours to make this happen!

symbolman: I have a better idea, Pitt. Why don't you print out this thread and shove it where the moon don't shine?

Maddy McCall: I second symbolman's suggestion.

OldLeftieLawyer: It's a bogus story and an absurd one. How long before the flying saucer returns? 24 business hours?

benburch: I believe you, Will. Unfortunately I'm too broke to travel to Nebraska. Could you send me $10 to repair the radio equipment of my broadcasting empire that was destroyed by a lightning bolt?

steve2470: Are the chicks in Nebraska cute? Do you think you could set me up on a date for this weekend with a hot Cornhusker? I have a couple of Yanni concert tickets.

* * * * * * * * * *

(It is midnight. A very confident looking Will Pitt is waiting as the flying saucer returns.)

SAUCER VOICE: ATTENTION EARTHLING! YOU HAVE FAILED IN YOUR MISSION!

PITT (smugly): No I haven't. I've returned with plenty of people.

SAUCER VOICE: WHERE?

PITT: They're hidden among the corn stalks. My friends are just too shy to meet you but they're here.

SAUCER VOICE: DON'T EVEN TRY TO BS US, EARTHLING! WE DETECT NO HUMAN LIFE FORMS FOR A RADIUS OF OVER 7 MILES!

PITT (less confidently): Don't I count? I thought you meant any human life forms could return which would be me. Look, just give me another 24 hours or make it 24 business hours to comply with your demand.

(The flying saucer begins to rise higher into the air.)

SAUCER VOICE: NO EXCUSES! YOU COULD HAVE RULED THE EARTH BUT YOU LOST YOUR OPPORTUNITY BECAUSE YOU WERE UNABLE TO GET ANYBODY TO BELIEVE IN YOU!

(The flying saucer rises rapidly into the sky and disappears.)

PITT: NOOOOOOO!!!

(Pitt falls to his knees and begins pounding the ground with his fists.)

PITT (sobbing): I was so close to being the center of everything and now I'm just a nobody again! I CAN'T TAKE IT ANY MORE!!!

(A couple of nights later on a cliff in Malibu. A pair of lights pierce the darkness. It is Pitt's car. The car speeds over the edge of the cliff as Pitt's voice screams: "GOODBYE CRUEL WORLD!!!")

FADE OUT
FADE IN

(We see a closeup of Pitt's mouth moving.)

PITT: It was at Lake Placid that the now-familiar chant of "U.S.A.! U.S.A.!" was born. The American people had been well-trained during the second empire to expect being on top...

(We now see that Pitt is but one of hundreds of people in a poultry processing plant. Like everyone else, he is wearing white coveralls and cap. The other workers all appear to be Hispanic. Pitt continues talking as he rips the guts out of chicken carcasses as they go by him on a conveyor belt.)

PITT (continuing): The American people were mesmerized by the vision of their flag rising next to but just a little higher than the red Soviet banner. It was their first taste of what would become a long and uninterrupted stretch of total global dominance...

(The Hispanic poultry processing workers nearby look at Pitt curiously, failing to understand at all what he is saying.)

HISPANIC #1: Qué dijo el Gringo?

HISPANIC #2: Quién sabe? Me parece que él es un gran pendejo loco.

(As Pitt continues talking, we hear Rod Serling's voiceover.)

SERLING VO: Submitted for your approval: A story of a pompous blowhard condemned to tell tall tales for all eternity in ---The DUmmie Zone.

"Does anyone doubt that certain G.I.'s are committing war crimes?"

Earlier this week, the DUmmies were left with EGG on their collective faces when it turned out that their hero, Jessie MacBeth, who confessed to committing war crimes in Iraq was a Fake Army Ranger. After having to gorge on crow, the DUmmies are now back and essentially saying that the fact he was fake doesn't matter because our troops are committing war crimes despite the LACK of evidence to back up this assertion as you can see in the THREAD titled, "Does anyone doubt that certain G.I.'s are committing war crimes?" Yes, "Fake but Accurate" seems to be the motto of the DUmmies. So let us now watch the latest rantings from the "Reality Based Community" in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, noting that MacBeth will soon have lots of time to brush up on his Shakespeare from a jail cell, is in the [brackets]:

Does anyone doubt that certain G.I.'s are committing war crimes?

[Not in DUmmieland where actual facts are considered to be quite beside the point.]

There's been an uproar over a supposedly hoaxed video of a G.I. admitting to mass murder of innocents, but does anyone actually doubt that certain of our soldiers are indeed mad dog killers? No, I'm not saying they all are, but many are. We've seen the evidence over and over. But the number one group of war criminals is of course the neo cons, the ones who tricked the soldiers into thinking the Iraqis are the ones who attacked us, and that they are mere cockroaches to be smashed asunder. It's not the soldiers who should be punished, it's the commanders in chief.

[Despite an utter LACK of evidence, let's just make politically motivated War Crimes accusations.]

No. Jack Murtha has confirmed they are committing war crimes.
Murtha wouldn't ever lie about something like that.

[Oh no. Jack Murtha would NEVER fib despite having NO EVIDENCE to back up his charges.]

careful... We aren't supposed to question the ersatz hero worship of the troops. Even many at DU fall in line and don't dare question this. This war mentality isn't likely to change anytime soon. It has been carefully instigated by the military industrial complex after their failure in Vietnam. With their pawns in the media they have cultivated an unquestioning mantra of "support the troops".

[careful... We aren't supposed to back up our wild claims with FACTS.]

Remember, the truthiness of his story is more important then the details and the preponderance of evidence that he made them up!

[Thanx for PERFECTLY expressing the DUmmie attitude of Fake but Accurate.]

a war suggests an equal opportunity type of thing. this was a rape and pillage occupation contrary to international law against a weakened country

[WHO was raped? WHAT was pillaged and by WHOM? Sorry for asking these irritating questions.]

It is an illegal war. Every soldier fighting it is committing a crime. I said the guilt for that crime falls to the moral ledger of the Bush Regime, who launched an aggressive "pre-emptive" war in much the same manner Hitler did when he marched in to Poland.

[Since the DUmmies are UNABLE to find actual FACTS to back up their War Crimes charges they redefine War Crimes to mean our entry into Iraq. When the FACTS don't match the charge then just CRIMINALIZE policy decisions.]

Americans can be extremely Barbaric. I am a witness to that fact

[And you are now witness to the fact that you are being barbarically roasted alive for all to see on the DUmmie FUnnies.]

My husband served over there for more than a year and he never participated in nor witnessed a war crime.

[PLEASE!!! STOP with the FACTS!!!]

It's happening everyday. They kill without question or without reason. They walk around with their finger on the trigger ready to shoot.

[Is that you, Jessie MacBeth?]

I'm sick of people defending the ordinary GI. No one forced them to join the army. They volunteered to go off and kill brown people in the desert.

[Testify to this "fact" before congress and someday, you too, might become a U.S. Senator and run for President.]

It is evident that the US miltary is just as ugly and as capable of evil acts as any other army in history.

[This sounds like Jack Murtha's campaign speech.]

I believe there are a lot of rapes we dont hear about.
and i dont give a fuck what kind of stress your in, rape is inexcusable and were never hearing a peep about it.

[Possibly because it ISN'T happening?]

Is Jason Leopold Working For ABC News?

The search is still on for Pied Piper Pitt, last seen downing large doses of "medication" at Bukowki's. His Furorbunker location is still unknown and at this time we have no report on when he will emerge to confront the Hoaxmas backlash. However, it is now suspected that his partner in crime, Jason Leopold, is currently working at ABC News as evidenced by a completely unsubstantiated (and quickly refuted) STORY that Leopold-like sources have told that news organization that House Speaker, Dennis Hastert, is under investigation by the FBI. Of course, the DUmmies, upon hearing this "news," beat a well-worn path to their ultimate Freudenschade when they PREMATURELY celebrated the Hastert's downfall only to have to eat crow immediately afterwards when this story did not pan out as you can see first in this DUmmie THREAD titled, "HASTERT IS BEING INVESTIGATED BY THE FBI," followed soon afterwards by their Eating Crow THREAD titled, "Justice Dept. denies Hastert under investigation." So let us now watch the DUmmies once again worshipping at the Jason Leopold School of Journalism in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, deriving much Schadenfreude from the DUmmie Freudenschade, is in the [brackets]:

House Speaker Hastert under investigation: ABC

[WHEEEEEEE!!!! BREAK OUT THE VICTORY CHAMPAGNE!!! POP THOSE CORKS!!!]

WASHINGTON (Reuters) - The Speaker of the U.S. House of Representatives,Dennis Hastert, is under investigation by the FBI, which is probing corruption in Congress, ABC News reported on Wednesday.

ABC, citing high level Justice Department sources, said information implicating Hastert was developed from convicted lobbyists who are now cooperating with the government.

Part of the investigation involves a letter Hastert wrote three years ago, urging the Secretary of the Interior to block a casino on an Indian reservation that would have competed with those of other tribes.

Hastert's Press Secretary told ABC in a statement: "We are not aware of this." Hastert's spokespeople were not immediately available for comment.

[Is this a Jason Leopold scoop?]

Oh, please. Please let this be true! Please let this be true! Tell me the corruption goes into the Speaker's Office and into the Senate Majority Leader's office! Oh please!!!!

[OH PLEASE! PRETTY PLEASE! LET THIS BE TRUE SO I DON'T HAVE TO EAT CROW ANY MORE! PLEASE, LUCY, DON'T PULL THAT FOOTBALL AWAY FROM ME AGAIN JUST THIS ONE TIME! OH PLEASE!!!]

I share your plea ... PLEASE!!
Take Denny down too!!!!

[PLEASE!!!---No more Crow!]

Of course it goes right to the top. The question is: Will anything ever come of it?

[Have no fear. Your Freudenschade is just around the corner.]

Will anything ever come of it? - let's see if tweetie reports on it??

[Let's see if TruthOutTheDoor reports on it.]

Starting to become clear why he came out so hard against the FBI raiding a congressman's office. It has nothing to do with Seperation of Powers with these f*cks. It's all about protecting their own criminal behavior!

[Once again, a DUmmie adds 2 plus 2 and comes up with 5.]

That's exactly what I thought when I read the article
after my moment of celebration.

[Yes, that premature celebration which is always the prelude to DUmmie Freudenschade.]

right behind Rove. Hastert will get indited right about the same time that Rove does........ which is never.

[And this DUmmie WINS a Kewpie Doll for having a brief moment of mental clarity!]

I'll believe it when I see the FBI kicking in his office door... and hauling out all his papers and computer drives. Oh, and just to expedite the investigation, interrogators should strip Hastert, smear him with pee and feces, beat him, let a vicious dog bite him several times, and rape his family while he watches, since Bush and the GOP have condone torture as a valid tool for obtaining information. After all, if he's got nothing to hide, he's got nothing to worry about!

[This ABC News "scoop" is about to be smeared with feces. Speaking of which, how are Robert Luskin's cat stools doing today?]

Oh God Do Do I Hope They Nail His Criminal Ass. Take Em All Down. This could be very fun to watch...

[Not nearly as much FUn as watching the DUmmie Freudenschade Crow Eating Ceremony which is just around the corner.]

The timing is soooo sweet...

[Especially so coming right on the heels of Hoaxmas.]

Contrary Report from Bloomberg News from a few minutes ago...
Justice Department Denies ABC Report of Hastert Investigation

[So would you prefer your Crow roasted or fried?]

Gotta replace him before the impeachment might go down!
They want someone clean in place in case Bush/Cheney are both impeached/resign before the election, so that a "Gerald Ford-type" can take over then, and keep the "pardon" option open later. Hastert isn't clean enough for that role and Bushco knows it!

[I guess the plate of crow hasn't been served to you yet. Look at the previous post.]

Something smells!! Reuters printed ABC's story and then retracted it within an hour!!

[Fooled again by another Rovian trick! And now on to the DUmmie Crow Eating THREAD.]

Justice Dept. denies Hastert under investigation

[You know, I think I can learn to enjoy eating crow. If I use my imagination, I might convince myself that it tastes like something between chicken and turkey. Well, only if I close my eyes real tight and imagine real hard.]

WASHINGTON (AP) — The Justice Department took the unusual step Wednesday of declaring that it was not investigating House Speaker Dennis Hastert.

The statement by department spokeswoman Tasia Scolinos came in response to a broadcast report that Hastert was being investigated as part of a lobbying scandal and amid the furor surrounding the weekend raid on the offices of Rep. William Jefferson, D-La.

Hastert had sharply criticized the raid and called on Justice Department officials to return all the documents that had been seized.

Asked if he was being investigated, Hastert said late Wednesday that he has not received any notice from the Justice Department that he’s being investigated as part of the Jack Abramoff probe.

[And Lucy pulls the football away.....AGAIN!!!]

Where is this from?

[Kentucky Fried Crow.]

Maybe Hastert made them back off somehow.
I wouldn't doubt it a bit. Hastert comes out swinging against Bush, Bush tries to punish him with the FBI. Hastert then says "up yours" and has something to make Bush back down.

[A nude photo of Helen Thomas?]

Virtual Pitt Makes "Appearance" In DUmmieland

Let me take this opportunity to dispel the ugly rumor that Wee Willie Pitt is holed up in BROKEBAT CAVE. The fact is that Pied Piper Pitt is still hiding out in his Furorbunker, desperately hoping that his Hoaxmas Fraud will somehow blow over. Not likely. However, Pitt has sent out a trial balloon in the form of this WEIRD TruthOut ARTICLE aptly named "Just Don't Tell 'Em You Know Me" published on May 23. The article itself is typical longwinded Pitt which means it would put you right to sleep if I were to post it here. However, despite its dullness, this article is AMAZING in what it DOESN'T say. Namely NOTHING about the Fitzmas controversy. It is as if on December 8, 1941, Franklin D. Roosevelt went before Congress to give a speech entirely devoted to rural electrification programs without a single mention of a certain attack on Pearl Harbor the day before. Of course, Pitt must have known his article would would be posted and commented upon in DUmmieland which you can see HERE. In effect there is a virtual Pitt who posted his comment (via another DUmmie) and we all KNOW that the real Pitt, from deep within the Furorbunker, was monitoring the responses in order to figure out if it is safe to return to DUmmieland. Bad news for Pitt. As we shall see, it is NOT safe for Pitt to return. He doesn't have to drill holes in Dustin Hoffman's teeth asking, "Is it safe?" in order to figure this out. So let us now read the DUmmie attacks on the virtual Pitt in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, still waiting for the return of the Magic Man, is in the [brackets]:

Just Don't Tell 'Em You Know Me

[Not after Hoaxmas. I don't want them to know that I know you, Pitt. Anyway, I will now skip your long winded article notable ONLY for the fact that you didn't once mention Fitzmas. Anybody out there who is currently suffering from insomnia is welcome to read it as it is sure to cure your condition. And now on to the DUmmie comments that completely AVOID Pitt's dull treatise and concentrates SOLELY on the Hoaxmas scandal...]

I adore Will Pitt..... I feel honored to know him. He has a pure heart.

[It looks like DUmmie liberalnurse has all the qualifications for being an official William Rivers Pitt groupie---complete mindlessness.]

Wow, I want some of what you're smoking ... I know Pitt too - have for a few years - and let's just say it's not something I gush about.

[One DUmmie is full of mush and the other DUmmie doesn't gush.]

Then I sense you may be a bit on the delusional side
when you say you have known him for years.....Maybe you have knowledge of Will Pitt or something on the acquaintance level....but not actually "know him", call him a friend.....and return the kindness as friends always do. Maybe I got the wrong message from your post? Feel free to clarify for me.

[And DUmmie liberal nurse still won't hush.]

like calling people cretins for disagreeing with him and
jason "grand larceny" leopold? sounds like pure bullshit to me...

[The DUmmies are revolting!]

he lied, and he was convicted of grand larceny. ohhhh, pointing out someone lied and committed a felony is a smear if the person who committed the felony and lied is a liberal.

[Don't forget the drug addiction.]

Good article, thanks for posting!

[I will allow the following DUmmie to do the punchline...]

Everything except the elephant in the room named Karl Rove or cretins

[Badda-Bing!]

Perhaps you just can't see him. It's magic, man.

[If anybody can, the Magic Man can.]

Isn't Pitt big enough to make his own posts? Inquiring cretins want toknow

[Inquiring Freepers too.]

I completely believe the information is accurate.
It's the time line that has things in disarray. I believe the article information was validated and the intent to write the story was seeded in the spirit of credible journalistic fashion. The time line for the public knowledge of the indictment is an issue that can not be controlled by the messenger. I have no clue as to why there is a delay, but I do believe there is indeed a firewall of sorts in place. There is a reason.....I just don't know what that reason is at the moment.

[DUmmie liberalnurse, completely buying into TruthOut's Partial Birth Apology.]

This isn't about "TruthOut" it's about a fellow DU'er who called us vile names for no reason. Let's get our stories straight here when you try to say that folks didn't believe Will and now he's going to come back like a conquering hero for those of you who would have worshiped any rock star in another time. Let's have some perspective here. That's what I'm saying.

[Pitt expects to return to DUmmieland and to be unquestioningly worshipped as before.]

Forgiving him YET AGAIN would be akin to a wife making up with her abusive husband. Trust Pitt again? I don't think so. Ladyhawk don't play that.
As far as I'm concerned Pitt is through.

[Pied Piper Pitt has turned into the J.J. Hunsecker...at the end of the Sweet Smell of Success.


And in absense of an apology for his behavior...
he gets what he gets. There's nothing to change the trajectory of the way things are going, as they are. He could end it. If it weren't for that damned hubris.

[What, ME apologize?]

Forgiveness after repeated abuse is just plain stupid.
Liberalnurse, I know you have a very good heart, but I have to disagree with you on this one. Words can really hurt. I've never been a target of Pitt's words, but I can't help but notice a pattern of verbal abuse heaped on others. I can't stand by and let someone get away with doing that to my friends.

[Does this mean you won't be swalloing the Wee Willie Kool Aid that DUmmie liberalnurse is holding out for you?]

"STFU already" and we sound like freepers?
Sorry, Angry Sara, but having grown up with drunks, the "he was inebriated!!!!" excuse doesn't wash with me. I am up to here with being called a freeper, not the least of which for having a healthy skepticism about the original sorry.

[DUmmies hate being called Freepers because it would imply that they are sane.]

Oh, you're saying he was drunk? Well that makes everything fine! Yes he did direct ugly words at me personally, many years ago, and I have avoided him since then. And I have received PMs from other long time DUers who got the same ugly treatment. And ne'er an apology was forthcoming to anyone until he finally went completely over the edge and attacked Skinner. It is said that one's true nature comes out when one has become drunk - you know, in vino veritas.

[And Pitt has certainly been in vino at Bukowski's every night.]

After each of his disgraceful displays, he has apologized, but an apology is only good if that person is working toward never letting it happen again. I don't see that. He'll blow up again and next time it will probably be even worse. I can't speak for anyone else, but I'm through with him. I'm not going to take a chance on being within the blast radius next time he goes off.

[Just stay at least a mile away from Bukowski's to avoid that blast radius.]

He's in his early 30's; not exactly a teenager learning how to handle his liquor. He wants to be taken seriously and respected, but be excused for repeated episodes of immature behavior. Reminds me of the kid who kills his parents and then throws himself on the mercy of the court because he's an orphan.

[William Menendez Pitt.]

"Just Don't Tell 'Em You Know Me: By William Rivers Pitt"
Don't worry Will. I won't tell 'em I know you. I'm pretty embarrassed to have heard of ya!

[Badda-Boom!]

Locking. This round robin of accusations and counter accusations isn't constructive to discussion here on Democratic Underground. Thanks.

[But it's sure constructive to lots of laughs here on the DUmmie FUnnies. Thanks.]

Freudenschade, Baby!

Freudenschade, Baby! Apparently the DUmmies never learn. Not only did they suffer from a mass dose of Freudenschade over Fitzmas, the DUmmies fell for another round of premature Freudenschade jubiliation yesterday over the story of an Army Ranger who admitted to committing War Crimes only to have to eat a big heaping of crow later when it found out that the Army Ranger in question was FAKE. But FIRST.... The latest on the Hoaxmas Front. As of this writing TruthOut is sticking with their Partial Birth Apology in which they continue to stick by their Fitzmas fairy tale in which Karl Rove has ALREADY been indicted on May 12. Meanwhile, Pied Piper Pitt is still holed up in the Furorbunker hoping to wait out the backlash forces of Hoaxmas that are now beseiging his once mighty Third American Reich which began (according to him) with ice hockey fans screaming "USA! USA!" following the American victory over the Soviets at the 1980 Winter Olympics. Rumor has it that a certain Dr. Morell is currently administering strong doses of alcohol to Pitt in order to ease his emotional suffering during this turmoil. When there is a new battle on the Hoaxmas front, we will keep bring you the update as well as detailed analysis of Pitt's political Götterdämmerung.

And now back to the latest DUmmie Freudenschade.... Yesterday, the DUmmies temporarily forgot their Hoaxmas woes to celebrate the news that a former Army Ranger had openly confessed to committing war crimes as you can see in this THREAD titled, ""By my hand alone almost 200 were taken out, that's just a rough estimate." Yes, Freudenschade broke out all over DUmmieland over this news that was soon followed by the inevitable crow eating ceremony when it was REVEALED that, "The video of the Army Ranger is a fake." So let us now join the DUmmies in the midst of their Freudenschade celebrations in Bolshevik Red, while the commentary of your humble correspondent, whipping up another serving of crow for them, is in the [brackets]:

"By my hand alone almost 200 were taken out, that's just a rough estimate"

[Commence the Freudenschade celebrations, baby!]

Army Ranger Jessie Macbeth speaks about War Crimes he and other Rangers committed in Iraq with the encouragement and blessing
of their superiors.

[Oooh! Oooh! I sure hope I didn't drink up all the victory champagne celebrating Karl Rove's May 12 indictment.]

He's got the courage to speak out. To implicate himself in War Crimes. I can support this Ranger and any others that have the courage of their convictions to speak out about the atrocities they were encouraged or ordered to commit by superior officers. At the same time I am completely revolted by what he and others did to innocent Iraqi civilians.

[We have an extra big heaping of crow warming up in the oven for you, DUmmie LibertyorDeath.]

IT'S A FAKE!!!!!! He is wearing his beret on backwards. I doubt he is even who he says he is. It's a shame that crap like this gets posted on DU. Giving credibility to these kinds of lies demeans the whole site."

[Shut up you lousy KILLJOY!!! Let the DUmmies enjoy their Freudenschade.]

I'm not sure what picture this angry person is debunking, but it is not the picture in the video that I watched. His beret is "fine" and medals can't be seen as it's a head shot. Further he has some medals pinned to the outside of his picture frame and his moustache was shaven.

[Is that you, Marc Ash?]

I'm not gullible for giving a guy who wears his beret "differently" the benefit of the doubt. I don't believe nor disbelieve him.

[Jason Leopold has verified that this guy was definitely an Army Ranger.]

Still doesn't explain the sleeves. Why would a Ranger roll his sleeves like a Marine? Seriously, little shit like that gets pounded into your head every day you're in the military.

[I'll search for an explanation of this at TruthOut.]

I'm not defending him as truthful or not, but I think there was truth to what he said about the experience in Iraq.

[The Dan Rather Apology: The Army Ranger might have been fake but his confession was accurate.]

I admit to wild speculation. However I understand it's not uncommon to wear ones beret "wrong" regardless.

[And it's also not uncommon to lock down an entire floor of Patton Boggs for a 15 hour meeting complete with a Secret Service detail.]

gully, show us one picture, just one picture of another Army Ranger with his beret sloping downward to his left. Berets are ALWAYS worn sloping downwards towards their right.

[LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]

It is time this country learned the truth about what exactly is going on over there...that our troops are being maimed and killed and are killing for a bunch of lies; lies that make a few people very, very rich.

[Would you like your crow well done?]

I don't recall any reports like this in the foreign media.
This would have been picked up in the foreign media if it was happening.

[This story won't be considered solid until TruthOut verifies it.]

Makes me sick that this adm is behind this cruelty.
No wonder so many are coming back from Iraq with messed up minds. This is awful.

[It's not polite to talk with crow in your mouth.]

He is presented as a member of Iraq Veterans Against the War -
I respect the group. If he is an IVAW member then I think he must be real - he couldn't pull the wool over fellow vets' eyes, I would not think.

[Excuse me. You've got some wool in your eyes.]

kick for the truth

[Enjoying that "Kick Me" sign affixed to your posterior?]

He's not a spokeman for the army. He's telling us what HE went through. as horrid as it is.

[According to the Arizona State University NEWSPAPER, MacBeth's worst combat experience was receiving poor service at a local coffee shop.]

Dan Rather was reliable too. But even he got tricked into a set up.

[So is MacBeth being Rathered or Leopoled?]

I just watched it, and I believe him. His mannorisms, his stutter is more pronounced when he talks about the things he did, the dis-connected thoughts... he's telling the truth.

[Is that you, Will Pitt, commenting from the Furorbunker?]

I believe anyone with a set big enough to CONFESS to War Crimes that are MOST CERTAINLY going on there. One more thing-Look at that guys eyes-there's ALL the proof anyone needs, right there.

[Your TruthOut journalist job application is currently being given serious consideration.]

I'm beginning to think DU exists in some kind of little fantasy world all it's own. That video is crap. I wonder how much the guy was paid to say that stuff.

[And this DUmmie WINS a Kewpie Doll dressed in camo clothing for having a brief moment of mental clarity.]

Have the freepers picked up on this? They would have a hay day - DU Admins better yank this article off line quick.

[Too late. It's already provided yet more comedy material for the DUmmie FUnnies.]

I think we're all going to need a drink by the time this is over.

[Is that you, Will Pitt, commenting from Bukowski's?]

It would be us and IVAW who've been Rathered, where Macbeth is the faked document - containing stuff that's in fact real.

[Fake but Accurate: The motto of the Leftist media. And now on to the DUmmie Crow Eating CEREMONY titled, "The video of the Army Ranger is a fake."]

The video of the Army Ranger is a fake.

[Munch! Munch! May I have another helping of crow?]

I served in Iraq 16 months as a U.S. Army Ranger." April 23, 2004. The war was less than 16 months old at that point. He must have a time machine.

[I bet the DUmmies would like to take a Time Trip back to May 12.]

possibly the war started earlier than thought...

[Correct. And the Civil war actually began in 1856.]

I am so, so disappointed in some of the people in this community, but I know there are others who are reality based. We can't fight their lies if we live in a fantasy world of our own. I want a reality-based community, is that too much to ask?

[Yes. Much too much to ask of DUmmieland.]

These days, however, reality is taking a back seat on DU in favor of the new flavor of the month - "If I want it it must be true. Therefore, I shall pretend that it is."

[Okay Dorothy. Now lean back, close your eyes, and repeat three times: "Karl Rove was indicted on May 12! Karl Rove was indicted on May 12! Karl Rove was indicted on May 12!"]

Late breaking DU news... Karl Rove was indicted last week by Special Counsel Patrick Fitzgerald in the Valerie Plame affair. Details are lacking and we like it, but what the hell... it sounds good so run with it.

[Break out the victory champagne! Freudenschade, baby!]

If only they had known what an Army uninform looks like...
... the trick/stunt would have worked! Damn!!!!

[Damn that Faker MacBeth for not researching his scam carefully enough!]

Has Roves finger prints all over it. Pay some to lie, so that the real ones get discounted......

[The obligatory "It was all Karl Rove's fault" posting.]

well if that's the case, he sure has Iraq Veterans Against the War...pretty well fooled. Somehow I think that's unlikely. Not inconceivable I suppose, but you'd think they'd spot a fake pretty quickly.

[Unless, gasp, they were fake vets as well.]

It seemed like a hoax.

[It seemed like Hoaxmas?]

I am listening to his account now, though this is an awful story, unfortunately, it sounds REAL to me.

[A True Believer to the Bitter End and probably still waiting to see the May 12 date on the Rove indictment papers.]

When this blows up in this kid's face he can intern for Jason Leopold. He'll have an equal amount of credibility.

[MacBeth will become Jason Leopold's personal Monica.]

He could very well suffer from some kind of grandiose delusion syndrome

[aka William Rivers Pitt Syndrome.]

This guy has not even told the truth about himself. He has not told the truth about his service. The unit he says he served in Falujah with was at Ft. Benning at the time. No. I WILL NOT believe him on this one. As far as Jesse MacBeth is concerned, I believe he has to have someone else call his dog because not even Fido believes anything he says.

[How about Robert Luskin's cat with the healthy stools?]

The guy is a poser, and this story smells real bad. Remember the Rovian trick of "discrediting the source"? Stay vigilant. To me, it feels like this guy is the new TANG documents, a "fishing expedition" of a semi-believable story that is later easy to refute and ridicule. Don't bite.

[Too late. The DUmmies have already been hooked, landed, and gutted.]

Stay alert. If Rove is doing it, others will pick up on it. This could be some kind of right-wing discrediting hoax, or even a cadre of lefties trying to "heighten the contradictions" by publishing false information (sad but true). I'd hate to imagine anyone in gov't would stoop so low as to put this guy out there to discredit IVAW.

[Avoid being sucked into the vortex of the Perfect Rovian Storm while on your way to the Crow Feast.]

"Did Gonzales Kill Fitz's Rove Indictments?"

Okay, here is the latest in the Hoaxmas saga. TruthOut followed up their first Partial Birth Apology with a SECOND Partial Birth Apology in which they AGAIN said nothing except they were sticking by their Hoaxmas story through Hell or High Water. As for Pied Piper Pitt. He is still MIA and is suspected of hiding out in the Furorbunker in the desperate hope that he can beat back the Hoaxmas backlash. Rumor has it that he is deluding himself with fantasy scenarios in which Hoaxmax may still turn out to be true. And he might be getting some sustenance from this Daily Kos FANTASY titled, "Did Gonzales Kill Fitz's Rove Indictments?" According to this latest delusion, Rove really was indicted during a 15 hour lockdown (later amended to ALL DAY Friday and into Saturday night by the second TruthOut "explanation") of the the entire 4th floor of Patton Boggs but that indictment was KILLED by the Attorney General. Of course, to believe that story, one needs to believe that the cat of Rove's attorney, Robert Luskin, was not taken to the vet on that same day to check on the health of its STOOLS. Jason Leopold has stated that he will now try to disprove Luskin's alibi by calling every vet in a 20 mile radius of Washington, D.C.. So let us now explore the latest Leftist Fitzmas fantasy in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, who is dedicating this DUFU edition to Luskin's cat with the healthy stools, is in the [brackets]:

The Wayne Madsen Report and the Chris Matthews Show have both floated the theory that Fitzgerald had secured indictments against Rove, but Gonzales --via McNulty-- came in at the last second and used his power as Fitzgerald's superior to kill the indictments.

[Wayne Madsen is considered to be so unreliable that his reports have been BANNED from DUmmieland which judging from what is normally permitted there must some sort of new low in lack of credibility. But continue my appropriately named Kossack, JiggyFlunknut...]

IF, this theory is true, Fitzgerald would have likely challenged McNulty's decision in court, pointing to an earlier administrative directive from then acting Attorney General James Comey that gave Fitzerald the "authority of the Attorney General." Comey is long gone, however, and was replaced by McNulty. The question then becomes what, if any, value does Comey's administrative directive have today.

[A very big IF there, Flunknut. And the theory is easily disproven by the Luskin cat stool check.]

One unfortunate realty of this scenario is that if the judge sides with McNulty, we will never know what really happened, because it will remained sealed. Which, is one explanation about why Rove is acting so smug these days and why the White House has not pulled back his public schedule.

[Or maybe Rove is so smug because he knows that a sample of the Luskin cat stools stored in a vet's lockbox in the D.C. area gives him a rock solid alibi that he never even met with Fitzgerald on May 12. And now to let the other Kossacks chime in...]

This would be a big deal.

[IF true. However, that big IF is a gigantic Firewall keeping this fantasy from breaking through to reality.]

We're talking Wayne Madsen, for Dog's sake!

[In this case, for Cat's stools!]

Even worse is to create a set of tools that are designed to perpetuate the thousand year reich and then lose power due to overwhelming incompetence in the execution if not the plan, so that your enemies now have the Patriot Act and warrantless surveilance with which to check out the money laundering of big oil, Halliburton and the Military Industrial Complex.

[You mean create a set of stools.]

I believe certain members of the Press have just about had it with Gonzales' shit.

[I believe certain members of the Press have just about had it with Lukin's cat stools.]

I'm kind of stalling for time here...

[Or stooling for time here...]

It scared the living shit out of me. I think with this latest revalation of Gonzales "we can do whatever we want" doctrine of law, it scares me even more.

[The living cat stools will scare you even more.]

Cases can be sealed for any number of reasons.

[There's a much great reason to seal cat stools.]

i was suing my boyfriend for custody of the cats and didn't want you guys to know about it

[The important thing is, did you also get custody of the cat stools?]

have some people eating crow. Jason Leopold may have been right afterall.

[Jason Leopold is right now doing some intense journalistic investigation by going into Robert Luskin's trash and checking out the cat stools for evidence in this case.]

I won't even entertain it as an option until I can find a link for Sealed v. Sealed

[You'd be better off trying to find a link for Cat Stool v Stool Pigeon.]

It depresses me so much to think that this could possibly be true. Unfortunately, history and the psychology of this administration makes this and other horrid events plausable. I mourn for our country's loss of every ideal it stood for.

[But wouldn't your mourning be balanced out by the JOY of finding out that the Luskin cat stools are okay?]

Leopold was right vis-a-vis the indictments, what could hold them up indefinitely or dismiss them? Is there anything outside of a plea agreement, aside from firing Fitz, that could keep an indictment from being served?

[Yes. Check the prophetic cat stools for the answers.]

Folks, I don't care which side of the aisle you're on, bullshit is bullshit. It's not that I don't want Leopold to be right, it's just that he's not right. He's a liar, he's an asshole and the fact that so many people are now going to excuse him thanks to YET ANOTHER lie about this just pisses me off.

[I don't care which side of the aisle you're on, cat stools are cat stools.]

Since Fitz represents the governemnt officially, it wiil have to be a bribe to the Judge. So a black satchel is my speculation.

[A black stool is my speculation.]

report it 24-7, or just give it the Downing Street Memoranda Treatment?

[Downing Street Memos are excellent material for wrapping up cat stools.]

I remember the day this story broke - down to where I was and who I was with - as clearly as I remember the day Kennedy was assassinated

[Let me guess. You were at the vet in order to have your cat's stools checked?]

Research? Evidence? Those things have no place in a diary like this!

[Or in a TruthOut story.]

I'd like to hear the opinions of a lot of other people on how likely this is.

[Somewhere between Nil and None.]

Does this mean that if Fitz decides NOT to indict Rove, he will not announce that fact?

[Only after NOT spending 15 hours in a lockdown on the 4th floor of Patton Boggs.]

This is the "quiet" Saturday Night Massacre.

[According to TruthOut the Patton Boggs lockdown lasted ALL DAY Friday into Saturday Night thus making a "Saturday Night Massacre" possible.]

This foaming-at-the-mouth speculation accomplishes zilch. Jason Leopold overreached badly. There's no point in inventing conspiracy theories to explain his failure.

[I was kind of fond of the conspiracy theory about a Patton Boggs lockdown that lasted all day Friday into Saturday night.]

I'd love to take to the streets. I'd love to "crash the gates" more than metaphorically. The Plame leak was just one more proof to me that the America I love is nearly dead. I'm willing to die a horrible death to revive it.

[I bet you wouldn't be willing to sleep with cat stools to revive it.]

Citing Wayne Madsen is unacceptable.

[But FUn!]

Stupid diaries like this one Should NOT be recommended.

[However they should be DUFUed.]

Why doesn't everybody take a deep breath, take a step back, and recognize that EVERYONE who is progressive and Democratic is under a LOT of stress as we do what we can to hold the fragments of our country together by keeping our fingers in the cracks of the dam. Karl Rove is the epitome of what makes the Bush Administration so malevolent, so deceitful and destructive to the good names and lives of many decent Americans; and I'm second to NO ONE in wanting him to get his just desserts. However, I think WE'RE ALL STARTING TO FREAK OUT A LITTLE because we're so DAMNED IMPATIENT...and what results is speculation after speculation after bad report after bad journalism--and thus, our response to it is to start going at each other's f*cking throats?

[Watching Leftists FREAK OUT is FUn to watch!]

I don't know which is more annoying: the way some people here pretend they know what the f*ck they're talking about, when they don't have a clue, or the unrestrained hostility they have for people who actually know of what they speak.

[I just LOVE these Lose/Lose situations!]

Maybe we can get ct to create a filter that autmatically puts a clown suit on any diary that contains the strings Wayne Madsen and/or Jason Leopold. I think that would take care of the problem.

[Or a pile of cat stools on any such diary.]

This diary really pissed me off. I'm still very upset that no indictments of Rove have come down yet. I really hope this diary is wrong. At the same time -- what is going on??? There is no way you can convince me that Fitzgerald doesn't have enough to indict. Sure he has. WHY HASN'T IT HAPPENED??? I'm getting pissed at Fitzgerald at this point. If Rove walks away from this, I swear....

[....I'll never look at another cat stool again.]

This is bullshit. Shut your f*cking piehole about the psychiatrist stuff. Call the guy an asshole. Tell him he's delusional. Gang up on him with Armando, and anyone else who feels like piling on. But please shut up with all your comments about mental illness and psychiatrists.

[Support mental health or I'LL KILL YOU!!!]

As someone who has been diagnosed with chronic clinical depression who takes a daily maximum dose of Zoloft, I think I am perfectly entitled to tell someone else that they're crazy.

[It takes one to know one.]

Just let the process work, and kill the bullshit baseless specualting. Leave that to the pros such as Leoplold.

[Finally, Jason Leopold gets the proper respect for his body of work.]

Because of this insanity we are giving all the talking heads and Rightwing blogs ammunition to smack us down and call us foolish and conspiracy theorist.

[Hee! Hee!]

TruthOut Issues Non-Apology "Apology" For Hoaxmas

At 4:23 PM today, TruthOut issued a non-apology apology over Hoaxmas. It sort of looks like an apology but it really ISN'T an apology. What it really is is a heaping load of of unadulterated BULL. As we shall see, not even the DUmmies are buying it. So let us now jump right in with the lame NON-APOLOGY APOLOGY typed out in a fit of desperation by TruthOut's Marc Ash in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, hoping that Pied Piper Pitt has a designated driver wherever he is tonight, is in the [brackets]:

The Rove Indictment Story as of Right Now

[Deeply immersed in a huge load of bull.]

On Saturday afternoon, May 13, 2006, TruthOut ran a story titled, "Karl Rove Indicted on Charges of Perjury, Lying to Investigators." The story stated in part that top Bush aide Karl Rove had earlier that day been indicted on the charges set forth in the story's title.

[And Marc starts off right away trying to feed us a heaping pile of bull since the story did not state that Karl Rove had earlier that day been indicted. It flat out stated that he had been indicted the PREVIOUS DAY. Not only that, Pied Piper Pitt shouted out in DUmmieland that the indictment would have "May 12, 2006" on it as the date. Please continue piling it on, Marc...]

The time has now come, however, to issue a partial apology to our readership for this story. While we paid very careful attention to the sourcing on this story, we erred in getting too far out in front of the news-cycle. In moving as quickly as we did, we caused more confusion than clarity. And that was a disservice to our readership and we regret it.

[God forbid you issue a FULL apology for peddling a FALSE story. And what does it mean to get "too far out in front of the news-cycle," Marc? You drinking from the same sauce bottle as Pitt? Why don't you just UP FRONT state whether the story was TRUE or FALSE?]

As such, we will be taking the wait-and-see approach for the time being. We will keep you posted.

[Yeah, you keep us posted on whether the Tooth Fairy stole those Karl Rove indictment papers. Even the DUmmies can't swallow the bull being served up by Marc Ash as you can see starting on DUmmie HOAXMAS THREAD #17 where the TruthOut Non-Apology Apology was first posted.]

Not only does it not clear anything up, it doesn't say anything at all.

[Didn't you get it? TruthOut got so far in front of the news cycle that they got run over by their own cycle.]

"too far out in front of the news-cycle". I don't know what that means.

[Pitt can explain it to you if you buy him a drink.]

It means "we're trying to spin that we were completely wrong".

[LOL!!! And a Kewpie Doll to you!]

non-apology, it's not a retraction nothing has changed. they are digging themselves into a deeper hole They also, have not pulled the story or the headline on the home page. They are standing by their story.

[Pitt is standing on Rove's indictment paper that is dated (according to him), May 12, 2006. No ifs, ands, or butts.]

i think it means that they got out in front of reality

[Don't get too far ahead of reality or it will run you over.]

????we erred in getting too far out in front of the news-cycle??? What in blazes does THAT mean? We apologize for being ahead of the curve???
That's not helpful. It's a non-apology apology. I suppose it is a shred better than nothing, but it still does not address the fundamental issues; the 24 hour business, the lack of a verifiable indictment which was not said to be sealed in the report, or the issue of the three/five/seven sources and the baker's dozen set of eyes that supposedly vetted the work.

[And don't forget the 15 hour lockdown with the Secret Service of Patton Boggs. Oh, and Sonny Crockett too!]

The whole "24 hours to get his affairs in order" thing was made up. Ask any lawyer.

[Inluding an OldLeftieLawyer.]

That's a complete non-explanation of truthout's goalpost-moving

[It took them 24 business hours to move that goalpoast.]

ROFL! They're just easing into a complete retraction...

[We've gone from Frog Walk to Retraction into the Turtle Shell.]

This incident probably caused a civil war at truthout. There have to have been staffers at truthout who didn't want their site to have anything to do with Leopold or his "investigative reporting".

[They were all outvoted by the Magic Man. And now on to DUmmie HOAXMAS THREAD #18 where the DUmmies are even MORE skeptical about TruthOutTheDoor's Non-Apology Apology.]

So, wait they're officially apologizing for "getting too far out in front of the news cycle?" What is that? They're apologizing for the the timing of the story, but not the content? Are they addressing the content of the story at all in that partial non-apology? It doesn't look like it. What "wait and see" approach? The story was wrong - why can't they simply correct it? That's really lame.

[Even the DUmmies think this TruthOut "apology" is really Pittiful.]

No more truthout for me. No More rawstory or truthout for me.
I will stick to DU, Huffingtonpost, Johnconyers jnr Blog, michalemoore.com and bartcop.

[Giving up heroin for crack?]

And now I have to go slap my shop steward for getting me to go to T.O.

[And then slap yourself for remaining in DUmmieland.]

Right now, w/this non-apology for a non-story, they've just prolonged the questions & the inevitable embarrassment of a retraction. It's been a week - of continuing stories, clarifications, & new and improved details from Leopold. And this is the best explanation they can come up with? Was the story right, or was it wrong? Defend it, or retract it, but don't try to manipulate people & hide behind meaningless statements. At a newspaper, these editors & reporters would be fired.

[Or promoted like Jayson Blair at the New York Times.]

"getting too far out in front of the news-cycle" = making shit up

[To be precise, Pitt Shitt.]

It's so unbelievably arrogant for them to come out w/this cavalier non-apology, after the story's already been proved false. Really, who do they think they are? Are they not accountable to their readers? The "news cycle" & "wait & see" thing was extremely patronizing - it's almost like they're trying to fool people all over again. Were they really expecting people to buy this? I can also see why Leopold found such a home there. I used to think they got duped, but this non-explanation now makes me think that they're in it as deep as Leopold is.

[Based on past experience, they were confident the DUmmies would buy it. After all, they were just $10 away from indicting Karl Rove.]

I see now why Jason Leopold was able to get work with this group. They're as nuts as he is, but they're not as smart as he is.

[Jason Leopold is smart enough to NEVER try confessing his innermost secrets in DUmmieland under a transparent "Temporary Sockpuppet" identity.]

Rubbish. Absolute rubbish. This weasel bullshit is the best they could come with? "Too far out in front of the news cycle" - unbelievable.
There must not be a banquet hall on earth big enough to hold their egos.
I literally am speechless.

[A state in which Pied Piper Pitt NEVER finds himself.]

I am *pissed*, to say the least. All I have wanted is for Rove to get his. You led me on for a good week, TO! I am so *sick* of this whole era! I wish there was such a thing as a time-machine so I could just *get away*! Everyone just lets me down, all the time! It's an f-ing nightmare! Why can't I just wake up & have it all be over?

[Take a Time Trip to the Era of the Eloi. However, there will ALWAYS be the Morlocks ready to devour you wherever you go.]

There is more class in this one post...
that Will Pitt has shown on DU for a long time. I truly believe his fame went to his head, and he forgot that much of that fame came from the help he received from DU. I remember when he used to post his articles here and have them editted for FREE by people who cared for the truth. Then when DU had helped him to tighten them up and make them better, then he would post them over at TO. DU helped make Will Pitt and TO, and what do we, and most importantly the admins get? They get called cretins.

[Did you help Pitt edit his Hockey Puck Geopolitical Treatise in which he proclaimed that the Third American Empire was born in the midst of fans cheering America's 1980 Olympic hockey victory over the Soviets?]

here's why this story was not plausible from the beginning
does anyone really think that "white house staffers" would tell Jason Leopold the time of day, let alone something like this? the folks in the whitehouse are all bush cronies. they aren't going to leak something like this, and if they did, they certainly wouldn't call up JL. the scenario of "multiple sources" flocking to JL to tell him something this sensitive is just not plausible. but this only happened because WE all WANTED to believe it so badly.

[I thought Jason's assertion of Sonny Crockett as a source was pretty credible.]

you know flags should have gone up once the article was published

[Instead, DUmmie victory champagne bottle corks popped on a mass scale.]

Wasn't Joseph Wilson himself supposedly one of the sources?

[That was definitely Pitt's drunken assertion. And now the DUmmie Demolition Derby proceeds to DUmmie HOAXMAS THREAD #19.]

These threads make me laugh out loud.... So damn entertaining.

[LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]

Is Jason Leopold the James Frey of Journalism?

[A Thousand Little Feces.]

Maybe he's the Jason Blair of the Blogs?

[Or Boggs.]

It's a non-apology, for a non-story. Fitting, I guess.

[Edited by a soon-to-be non-person.]

Hoaxmas Threads EXPLODING In DUmmieland!!!

Those of you of Gaelic persuasion are probably familiar with the Easter Uprising by the Irish against the English in DUblin in 1916. And now we have the Great Hoaxmas Uprising 90 years later in DUmmieland against Pied Piper Pitt. The evidence of the Great Hoaxmas Uprising is in the MANY DUmmie threads now slamming the Magic Man. Apparently that once taboo subject of Pitt crit is now permitted partly because he was the cause of so many Freudenschade DUmmies making FOOLS of themselves when they prematurely popped their victory champagne corks celebrating the "indictment" of Karl Rove and mainly because of his drunken RANT agaisnt Head DUmmie, Skinner, for expressing a bit of doubt about his bogus story. So let us now GORGE on a feast of DUmmie Hoaxmas threads (currently numbering 8) starting with Theory: Leopold was wrong. Dead wrong. And then he backpedaled. As usual, the Freudenschade DUmmie postings are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, turning into a glutton from dining on DUmmies dining on crow, is in the [brackets]. But FIRST, before we begin DUFUing the DUmmies, a special Hoaxmas Holiday treat. A song titled The Twenty-Four (Business) Hours Of Fitzmas to the tune of The Twelve Days Of Christmas composed by that famous Tin Pan Alley songmeister, Charles Henrickson. So pick up a cup of Holiday Cheer and sing along with the bouncing ball:

On the twenty-fourth hour of Fitzmas

My truthout gave to me:

Twenty-four bonus hours

Twenty-three bogus sources

Twenty-two sealed indictments

Twenty-one new excitements

Twenty Leopolds leaping

Nineteen FReepers freeping

Eighteen crowded dockets

Seventeen Sonny Crocketts

Sixteen corks a-popping

Fifteen-hour meeting

Fourteen Freudenschades

Thirteen Pipers piping

Twelve DUmmies griping

Eleven Roves a-packing

Ten dollars lacking

Nine shots at Skinner

Eight crows for dinner

Seven crews amassing

Six days a-passing

Five LOUSY TROLLS!

Four Patton Boggs

Three fresh blogs

Two marching frogs

And a Pitt ribbed in a parody!

Theory: Leopold was wrong. Dead wrong. And then he backpedaled.

[What backpedaling? Leopold & Lib are not only STICKING to their fibs but they claim the indictment papers will definitely be dated May 12, 2006. The Day When Everything Finally DIDN'T Change.]

With Will Pitt holding his handlebars for him.

[Somehow that sounds VERY KINKY.]

The fact that there are so many apologists out there on DU is frightening. Why are people so afraid to say that there is a serious problem with journalistic integrity here? Why are so many people taking the dittohead approach and just blindly following and pledging unwaivering allegiance? How does that make you any different from the Freepers that watch Faux News?

[Freepers who watch "Faux News" are buying into the Karl Rove indictment fairy tale. Who is your source for that bit of misinformation? Sonny Crockett?]

Did he backpedal? I thought he was sticking by the story.

[Por seguro!]

24 BUSINESS hours that is backpedaling after the story is proven incorrect.

[More like a lame excuse than a backpedal.]

24 BUSINESS hours which is just legally silly. There is no difference between "24 hours" and "24 business hours" in the law, but when it didn't happen in 24 hours, they tried to make it 72 hours. I consider that backpedaling. Perhaps that may not be the best term for all.

[And parking the bike while backpedaling it adds 10 minutes to the business hours time each day.]

Not defending Leopold here. But IMHO, the central claim of Leopold's story was the fact that Rove was already indicted, and he has not backpedalled on that. If he's fudged on the 24-hours thing, it does make the credibility of the entire story suspect. But ultimately Leopold will be judged on the central claim -- whether Rove was indicted last Friday.

[Why are you leaving Pitt out? Let the Magic Man share in the Hoaxmas glory as well.]

The 24-hour thing is still him being wrong about when it will be released. The fudging makes him look silly, I think.

[You think? I KNOW.]

Leopold said he was indicted on Friday. If he is indicted tomorrow, Leopold is wrong.

[But Pitt said those indictment papers will DEFINITELY be dated May 12, 2006. So it can happen in the next millenium but Pitt will be right if that Star Date is on there.]

Facts Smhacts throw shit on the wall and see what sticks. that's the life for me!

[DUmmie judicial reasoning at its finest.]

The 24 biz hours are UP, someone might want to do some damage control and at least admit that much..

[Not quite. You haven't factored in the photocopy my butt time into the business hours equation.]

2 things about pigs they wallow around in their own shit, and all pigs get slaughtered.

[Pied Piper Pigg.]

SO WHAT if Leopold/Truthout is wrong on this story?
Truthout reporters and readers, unlike FAUX news and their viewers, are SEEKING the truth. A mistake does not equal a lie. A timing error doesn't invalidate the truth of the charges.

[The Truth Will Out sometime in the distant future.]

How DARE YOU compare us to freepers?

[How DARE YOU accuse us of being sane?]

I bow to you, Vinny From Indy!

[Da Vinny Toad.]

If Fitz ran his case like Leopold writes then Rove WILL WALK.

[Then it looks like Rove will walk...but NOT like a frog.]

Locking. COntinue discussion here: Official Truthout/Leopold/Rove Indictment Thead #1

[And so we shall, Skinner...]

Official Truthout/Leopold/Rove Indictment Thead #1

We are instructing the moderators to lock all threads about Jason Leopold and his Rove indictment story. If you wish to continue discussing this issue, you may do so here.

When this thread reaches approximately 100 replies, the moderators will lock it and open a new one.

Thank you for your understanding.

Skinner
DU Admin

[And thank you, Skinner, for making it so convenient to dine on DUmmies dining on crow.]

Until the indictment is made public, Rove can do anything he wants.

[Including dance upon Pitt's coffin.]

It's a KARLSPIRACY! He can do whatever he wants you know.

[It's PITTIFUL! The Magic Man can make any baseless charge he wants you know.]

I don't believe Leopold. I think he made it up, or his source was lying to him.

[Sonny Crockett lie? I doubt it.]

Fitz's team leaked false rumors in his own house cleaning mole hunt. Is that paranoid enought yet?

[No. You must add in a MIHOP conspiracy theory for that proper paranoid touch.]

No one seems to care that Joseph Wilson and Larry Johnson have confirmed this story.

[You mean Don "Sonny Crockett" Johnson.]

***FROM WAYNE MADSEN REPORT***

[Banned from DUmmieland for being unreliable. And imagine the depths you must have to sink to in order to achieve that "accolade."]

The Du Willi Code. stories of journalistic intrigue.
Secret codes: 24, 72, 15.

[And 4 for the 4th floor of Patton & Boggs being sealed off.]

When you say approximately 100 replies, do you mean 100 (the number That follows 99) or 100 over the next day or so, or maybe 10 posts over 10 days? Will you be doing this throughout the day (meaning this 24 hours) or will you be doing it over 8 hour intervals over the next three days?

[FINALLY! DUmmie humor that is intentionally FUnnie! And now on to TABLE #2 of the DUmmie Hoaxmas buffet.]

If we are to believe Leopold's account, then there was a 15-hour meeting on Friday. Let's say it started at 8AM - it would end at 11PM. During that time the meeting is "locked down" - nothing gets in or out. Then, I daresay people call people to tell them what has transpired, tell wives they're coming home, head to their cars. Leopold said that he was talking to people with intimate knowledge of the meeting on Friday and on Saturday morning.

["Hi Honey! I'm being locked down and sealed off by the Secret Service at Patton & Bogg for the next 15 hours so I won't be able to make it to the K-Mart Blue Light Special later today."]

Jason, Will, Joe Wilson, and Larry Johnson all could have been punk'd by a massive Rovian conspiracy to cause multiple independent sources to align their false stories in a disinfo campaign to tar the lefty media. It is definitely a Rovian tactic; he did just this thing to author JH Hatfield (who later killed himself).

[Beware the Massive Rovian Storm.]

Okay, we will deny reality out of loyalty to Pitt. Where do I get the koolaid that lets me do that?

[At the TruthOut counter of your local Jonestown supermarket.]

Pitt is a melodramatic crusader, he reminds me of Don Quixote. His style of rhetoric is not good politics and will never help the democrats, other than as a form of rabble rousing that excites and inspires one small minority of democrats. The idea that anyone owes him anything is ludicrous.

[More like Wile E. Quixote of Roadrunner fame.]

I believe the Declaration of Independence had a similar story
It was dated July 4th but wasn't actually signed until August. Some though say that Independence day should be July 2nd.

[That's because they had to wait 24 business hours to make it from July 2 to July 4. They worked longer hours back then and no photocopy my butt breaks.]

Of course there's an indictment. Patrick Fitzgerald just has this odd habit of enjoying walking around for a week with an indictment tucked inside the waistband of his boxers.

[Or briefs? BURP...And now on to TABLE #3.]

I still believe he has been indicted. We'll know soon.

[In just 24 business hours.]

You know what is gonna be FUNNY? The silence from all of the nay-sayers when we find out that Leopold was correct.

[Even FUnnier will be the silence from all the yay-sayers when NOTHING happens.]

Ever notice how if you say "Leopold and Loeb" really fast, it comes out sounding like "Karl Rove"?

[And if you notice the earring in Pitt's earlobe you will say "Leopold and Lobe."]

Since Leopold hasn't revealed any names at this point,....
...I'd wager a guess that the story is still valid.

[He revealed the name of Sonny Crockett so that must make the story invalid.]

Why did anyone believe Jason Leopold in the first place? The man's history speaks for itself, and the story - well, it's laughable on its face.

[Pitt is laughing all the way to the (drunk) tank.]

You know... I think that everyone is entitled to a certain amount of good will and benefit of the doubt... but drunken egotistical displays tend to use up whatever stockpile of good will may have accumulated.

[And it sounds like Pitt's good will stockpile has already dried up. And now on to TABLE #4 of the Hoaxmas Buffet.]

Some people are ALWAYS haughty and vicious assholes.

[YUP! Pitt's good will stockpile has certainly dried up.]

Too many people on DU believe in Santa Claus

[And the Great Pumpkin known as Fitzmas.]

Since I've been here in 2003 (I think that's when). I've seen probably hundreds of posts about this person going down, Bush finally being toast, something else being the tipping point, Cheney resigning, Rumsfeld resigning, the Democrats stopping some bill, Kerry challenging Ohio, this judge being filibustered, and a nearly endless series of articles on Rove finally being indicted. Quite a few of these, I might add, stem from the Original Poster on the thread that started this entire subject.

[In the beginning there was Pitt.]

I almost wish I had saved all the threads into a folder named "Lucy/Charlie Brown."

[Or "Roadrunner/Coyote."]

So when a story comes along written by a thrice-disgraced reporter and filled with several dubious claims, I immediately go into skeptic mode. And yet - like Bart Simpson at Kamp Krusty - hundreds of posters become their "Bush is toast....Bush is toast" mantra.

["Pop champagne....Pop champagne."]

I find the fact that someone like Leopold could be dominating discussion at this place for over a week a little nauseating.

[I find it intoxicating.]

The conspiracy nutters and the far-leftists and the trolls have done a great job steering DU from being what it ought to be: a place to debate logically about politics, and to find ways to help the Democratic Party win office.

[Eliminate the conspiracy nutters and the far-leftists from DUmmieland and all you are left with are LOUSY FREEPER TROLLS!!!]

Where does Leopold go from here if this story blows up?

[Bukowski's? Now on to TABLE #5. Hope I have room for dessert.]

Was Will drunk? Or did someone infer that?

[Will wasn't drunk. Merely intoxicated.]

He posted earlier that evening that he was going out to a pub w/ a friend. I saw the actual post. In total fairness to Will, he'd been getting stalked by the usual band of Pitt-haters quite a bit in the past few weeks, and one could hardly blame him for a bit of escapism.

[Drinking yourself senseless is now defined as escapism.'

I think, if Skinner were TRULY offended by Will's rant, Will would be spotting a tombstone. As of right now, he isn't.

[Isn't allowing this public flogging of Pitt even WORSE than tomstoning?]

Indictment tonight. My tarot cards told me so, and I think that's at least as accurate a method as any other I've seen here in recent days.

[The Ouija board is more scientific.]

I stand by my hunch that it will break between 6 PM & Midnight EST tonight.

[I stand by my hunch that it will break between midnight and 6 AM this morning.]

You haven't got a bit of rope?

[Is that you, Will Pitt? And now to TABLE #6.]

Who is Patrick Fitzgerald's "Deep Throat" Source? Is there a Counter-Leaker on Plame Case Working for the Side of Good?

[According to Pitt, that source is Joe Wilson.]

I hope I haven't just pulled a Leopold!

[No, you've only been Leopoled.]

Cause I haven't been following closely. But whats the deal with Chicago?

[Former site of the BEST photo studio in the Midwest (owned by PJ-Comix relatives), the Maurice Seymore Studio, said I sounding increasingly like my own father who constantly boasted about this.]

The KARLSPIRACY strikes again. all powerful Karl, able to control space and time and the NY Times.

[And the Dimensional Warp Barrier.]

It took 15 hours to make the plane reservations. The damn Secret Service took all the window seats.

[LOL you LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]

At what point do we end the Rove watch and get on with our lives?

[At a point beyond time and space, i.e. 24 business hours from now.]

it's 6:20 EST, still nothing coming from any MSM sources

[Have patience. You are still on standard time so you need to catch up to Daylight Savings Time. I'm STUFFED already but still I go on to TABLE #7.]

Still Standing With Ya Will and Jason!!!!! Thanks For Everything!!!!! Could it be tomorrow??? Frog march time Pig Boy!!!!!!

[Still waiting for the Great Pumpkin!!!!!]

The continuing sage of The Du ConvinceMe Code.

[And just as lengthy.]

Does anyone else feel like a cow on the way to slaughter?
These threads remind me of the cattle walks NYPD uses to keep protestors under control.

[Well, we ARE dining on DUmmies dining on Crow.]

TOMORROW IS D-DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[TOMORROW IS DUmmie-DAY!!!!!!!!!!!]

Since it's been past the 24 hours, Jason Leopold is officially burned by his sources, and he promised to out his sources if the story proved false.

[Crockett AND Tubbs.]

The only thing we don't have is an indictment dated May 12, and that is because IT DOESN'T EXIST! So it is 100% clear the story is bunk.

[Does that mean I have to put the cork back in my champagne bottle?]

So is tomorrow the day? Or am I clutching at straws?

[You're clutching at guffaws.]

You do understand that everywhere other than DU and Truthout, this disproven bullshit from a disgraced journalist has been dismissed and laughed off.

[More accurately, laughed AT. And now to our FINAL Pittstop, TABLE #8 of the Hoaxmas Feast...]

We Stand With You Will, Jason and Truthout!!!!!!!!!

[Leopold or Lobe? Which of you posted that?]

How much crap can you post when NOTHING HAPPENS.

[Will has a bottomless Pitt of crap.]

This is Pitiful...They've thrown us in a NUTBAG thread.....

[You mean Pittiful.]

THREAD #7 WAS WAY BETTER!

[Ah nostalgia! Those were the good old days of THREAD #7.]

Maybe it goes back to when Will was drunk and called
us all "Cretins," and worse. I guess he thought we were kind of clueless idiots, too for bothering with the "Fitz Watch" this long.

[It was Pitt's Lonesome Rhodes moment (see A Face In The Crowd for the obscure referential scene near the end).]

DUmmie Uprising Against Pied Piper Pitt Over Hoaxmas

[UPDATE: Here is a song about the Freudenschade the DUmmies have felt over Hoaxmas. It is composed by that famous Tin Pan Alley songmeister, Charles Henrickson, and is sung to the tune of "Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious"]:

Freudenschadeschadenfreudefreudenschadelicious:

Even though the sound of it is something quite pernicious,

If you see the DUmmie glee for things that are fictitious--

Freudenschadeschadenfreudefreudenschadelicious!

Because they wanted Rove to walk

Just like he was a frog,

You should have heard the DUmmies talk

They read it in a blog!

But then their champagne bubble burst

Before they drank a lick;

They must be cursed to die of thirst'

Cause Fitzmas fizzled quick!

Freudenschadeschadenfreudefreudenschadelicious:

Even though the sound of it is something quite pernicious,

If you see the DUmmie glee for things that are fictitious--

Freudenschadeschadenfreudefreudenschadelicious!

So when the DUmmies celebrate

Some supersecret "news,"

Just summon up this word and wait,

You've got a term to use;

But you should practice saying it

As often as you speak:

The DUmmies fall for piles of Pitt

At least two times a week!

Freudenschadeschadenfreudefreudenschadelicious:

Even though the sound of it is something quite pernicious,

If you see the DUmmie glee for things that are fictitious--

Freudenschadeschadenfreudefreudenschadelicious!

Pied Piper Pitt promises something big will be happening in a courthouse. When nothing happens at first, he asks us to wait just 24 hours. Eventually, nothing happens EVER and Pied Piper Pitt ends up with egg on his face. Am I talking about Hoaxmas? Well, yes, but I am also referring to a Hoaxmas Past that happened right around Christmas of 2004 when Pied Piper Pitt, on December 23, 2004, PROMISED the DUmmies that Kerry's people were filing a legal motion in an Ohio courthouse that could overturn the results of Election 2004. As has happened recently with the DUmmie premature popping of the champagne bottles over Rove's indictment, the DUmmies went into a state of jubilation over the impending Kerry victory due to the court filing. Even the phraseology used by Pitt in both of the Hoaxmas events to desperately buy himself more time were EERILY similar. The I just got off the phone with Jason Leopold of Hoaxmas II was the Just got off the phone with a bunch of the people involved of Hoaxmas I. And in both of them, Pitt "just got off the phone" to buy himself an extra 24 hours when NOTHING happened. Of course, Pitt wasn't as creative in Hoaxmas I with the 24 hour time frame since he was able to convert it into 24 BUSINESS hours in Hoaxmas II to buy himself an extra three days.

The similarities continue for both Hoaxmases. Pitt returned to DUmmieland yesterday to ASSURE the DUmmies that his latest Hoaxmas is legit while in Hoaxmas I we hear similar "assurances" from Pied Piper Pitt: Everyone: The very second I hear something, I will post it. Finally, one other similarity. Neither of the Hoaxmases went ANYWHERE. However, in the case of Hoaxmas I, the DUmmies quickly forgot that they were made fools of when they missed kicking Lucy Pitt's football and landed on their Charlie Brown Butts. There have been several other mini-Hoaxmases in between Hoaxmas I and Hoaxmas II but each time the DUmmies were happy to be fooled again and again and again. However this time, Pied Piper Pitt may have gone one Hoaxmas too far since the DUmmies are beginning to uprise against the Magic Man as you can see in this THREAD titled, "I would like to apologize to Will Pitt for what I'm about to say..." So let us now watch the DUmmie revolt in action over Hoaxmas II in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, who would like to apologize to DUFU readers for what I am about to post that will cause you to spit up your coffee on your keyboards, is in the [brackets]:

I would like to apologize to Will Pitt for what I'm about to say...

[And don't forget to apologize to my DUFU readers for making them laugh so hard that they spit up their coffee all over their keyboards.]

Will,

I think you're a fantastic writer. Your books, your posts on DU, and your website. I think you have the potential to be a major news source for liberals in the decades to come.

[I think you have the potential to become a major humor source for comedians in the decades to come.]

But, retract your story. NOW. I understand you had your sources. I understand you believed what you were told.

[Which Hoaxmas story to you want Pitt to retract? Hoaxmas I or Hoaxmas II or all the mini-Hoaxmases in between?]

What were you told? You were told that Leopold's story was true. That Fitzgerald spent multiple hours at Defense Council's office on Friday May 12th. That he was there for the purpose of serving Karl Rove with an indictment. That the indictment was served and that Rove was informed that he had 24 hours to "get his house in order." Eventually this was changed to 24 "business" hours, we're past that too. So basically we're left with the scenario of a sealed indictment. Do you really think that Karl Rove would have appeared on Capitol Hill TODAY in a publicized Republic Congressional meeting if he knew he had been indicted? You can call Rove whatever you want, devious, aggressive, liar, sychophant, mastermind, criminal, etc. but what you cannot call him is dumb. He has consistently behaved, for over 10 years now, in a manner not consistent with "dumb."

[While Pitt has consistently behaved, for over 10 years now, in a manner CONSISTENT with "dumb."]

Sadly, it is looking more and more like that scenario is actually false. Personally, I think Rove's attorneys were being served with a target letter. Typically a Prosecutor in this circumstance would serve Rove with a target letter before indictment by the Grand Jury. And if you look at the timeline of past cases Fitzgerald has prosecuted, when an indictment was issued it was reported IMMEDIATELY. Your only saving grace would be the unusual step of a sealed indictment and an offer from the Prosecution to drop the charge if Rove will testify against the President or the Vice President. Highly unlikely.

["Dear Allah, please let Karl Rove be indicted, or I'm going to look like such a freaking jackass. Again."]

Don't continue to stain yourself over this. We all want Rove indicted. But not at the cost of ruining the journalistic credibility of one of our brightest young stars. Admit fault, continue to write solid stories. Overall, focus on the longterm and not the short. Retract it.

[Pitt NEVER retracts. He just hopes the DUmmies forget and then moves on to the NEXT Hoaxmas. And now that DUmmie ShaneGR has made his "apology," let's move on to the increasingly wary DUmmies who are JUST NOW starting to wake up to the antics of the author of Hoaxmas Present and Past.]

Give it time - it's "business" hours after all! Friday is the big day.

[I thought the big day was yesterday but I forgot to factor in the photocopy my butt time into the business hours equation.]

But, but, but, there's no such concept in the law.
That 24 hour thing was a riot. Whoever came up with that one had a really bad mescaline experience somewhere in the past, I think. So, there's no such thing, and it's illusionary. Friday has absolute no mystical significance. It's as relevant as today was. The grand jury is hearing other cases, you understand, don't you? Friday is nothing but the day after Thursday and the one before Saturday.

[Pied Piper Pitt is going to need a really bad mescaline experience just to kill the memory of the DUmmie uprising against him over Hoaxmas II.]

can we please wait to find out if it's false or not
before you demand he retract it? This is just getting stupid.

[Methinks you're stuck on STUPID.]

The "problem" is that it's already been demonstrated as false. The original story (do you need a link?) stated unequivocally that the "indictment" was a fait accompli, a done deal, a concluded enterprise. I could write a story claiming there was a huge tornado that wiped out Tulsa as if it were factual...and when it appeared not to have happened, can I just say "well, it's coming....in 24 hours...or 24 'business hours'...or in 2 weeks, 2 months, 2 eons?" The thing is, he could have avoided ALL of this controversy if he had just penned a story saying something like "Some sources have said there has been a signed indictment of Rove today...details to follow" but it didn't appear in print that way. The buck has to stop somewhere, it can't be passed off ad infinitum.

[Speaking of where the buck needs to stop, I am noticing some DUmmies hinting that Pitt was just an innocent victim of the nefarious Jason Leopold. However, as I have demonstrated, Pitt already pulled off Hoaxmas I in almost the exact same manner AND terminology as Hoaxmas II. Remember, Jason Leopold had NO PART in Pitt's Hoaxmas I. Hoaxmas II looks like a Pied Piper Pitt con game from the get-go so the buck needs to STOP with HIM.]

details of the article have been proven wrong... I'm not ready to write the whole thing off yet. I've got champagne ready if the fact that he was indicted turns out to be right.

[Too bad you already popped the cork on that champagne bottle last weekend when the Rove indictment announcement was first made with NO evidence so that champagne is now in the process of turning sour. Freudenschade baby!]

Jesus. Here since the very first day of DU, goddammit, and suddenly, I'm a cockroach who should be tombstoned for doubting the reporting and credibility of Jason Leopold. And for questioning why Will Pitt vehemently stands by the story and even the nitty-gritty details of the story. You're quick to lump those who disagree with you or even wish to just ask questions into some evil group that isn't on your side. Are we all agent provocateurs? As if I don't want Rove to be indicted. As if I don't care deeply about the DU community. As if I haven't admired and befriended Will Pitt throughout the many years we've been on this board together.
Just for asking questions? For expressing healthy skepticism? Really? Thing is, in the endgame, the story may prove correct. It might absolutely bear the correct dates to silence skeptics. You might be absolutely right. But if that happens, wouldn't you still regret your words, for lumping sincere questioners into such a hideous group? Posts like this scare the hell out of me.

[GOOD NEWS! As recently as a week ago you would have been tombstoned for daring to cast aspersions upon Leopold & Lib. However, due to Pitt's early AM drunken ATTACK upon Skinner a few days ago all bets are off and you are now allowed to freely slam the Magic Man in DUmmieland without fear of tombstoning.]

Karl Rove set him up.

[Isn't it OBVIOUS?]

Can we minimize the Will Pitt Roast to ONE BBQ session instead of slamming him in individual threads?

[You mean consolidate the uprising?]

We need a new avatar of a figure taking Alka Seltzer.

[Or of Charlie Brown flying up into the air after Lucy pulls the football away from him.]

William Rivers Pitt - The Box Set. Collect the whole set!

[With a DVD for each Pitt episode: Hoaxmas I, Hoaxmas II, Hoaxmas III, Hoaxmas IV, etc...]

I thought Leopold wrote the story?

[As we have seen, ALL of the Hoaxmases are Pied Piper Pitt productions for which he writes SIMILAR scripts: "I just got off the phone with...(you fill in the blank)."]

I for on, am just tired of playing "Charlie Brown" to the Blogger's Lucy.

[Remember my avatar suggestion above.]

They keep putting out the football...promising this news is the real deal; that indictments are imminent...and we, zealous for the the bloodletting to begin...fall for this time after time.

[And we, zealous for the comedy to begin...laugh at you time after time.]

I have nothing against WIll or Leopold or anyone else who writes for the blogs. But sooner or later we need to stop making excuses for so-called Journalists who do not do their homework. It's not always the MSM who is hiding the truth because the coporate muckity-muck told them to.. SOmetime bloggers get it wrong...sometime they make it up. A lot of times we are just to plain gullible

[You just hit the Trifecta with that last part.[

Again, this is not directed at Will or Leopold, but we continue to get baited by promises these folks put out and we need to slap them around when they get it wrong.

[Oh, we haven't directed our mirth solely at the antics of Leopold & Lib. Bev Harris also provided lots of bellylaughs with her being just $10 away from overturning the 2004 election.]

Eat your f*cking words! The indictments are sealed. Leopold was right!

[The Titanic sailed into New York harbor!]

The article is too far fetched to be believed. I have a hard time believing that the 4th floor of Patton Boggs was totally locked by the secret service or that Fitz and Luskin met for 15 hours on a Friday night. This stuff is outrageous and doesn't make any sense.

[It makes sense to me. The 4th floor was locked down by the Secret Service to keep others from hogging in on all the pizza that was delivered during that marathon 15 hour meeting.]

15 HOURS? What in Sam Hell could they have to discuss for 15 hours?

[I have a pretty good idea what topic Bill Clinton and Vernon Jordan could spend 15 hours discussing together.]

Questioning a DU sacred cow! Pass the popcorn! No matter how you look at it, the prediction did NOT come to pass.No matter how you may be disappointed, the OP has a VERY VALID POINT. Just more intrigue for those who will eventually write the made-for-TV or Movie script! Nobody could MAKE this stuff up!

[Correct. Most HILARIOUS stuff I've read in years!]

Leopold's article is actually quite hilarious. you have to ask yourself, where the hell does he come up with some of this stuff?

[From hours and hours of watching the Comedy Channel.]

Well, Leopold is an admitted drug addict. Maybe some of it is hallucinatory?

[The Hoaxmas as a Bad Acid Trip Theory.]

What story of Will's is he to retract? I don't get it.... I thought Jason wrote the story and Will only said he trusted that it be true? You can't put the Genie back in the bottle. Either Will was correct to trust Jason's story and/or Jason's trust in his sources, or he wasn't.

[The Will Pitt as Innocent Victim Theory. Not nearly as believable as the Hoaxmas as a Bad Acid Trip Theory.]

Pied Piper Pitt Reappears For Hoaxmas

HEEEEEEEE's BAAAAAACK!!! The infamous 24 Business Hours of Fitzmas are over and Pied Piper Pitt has reappeared for Hoaxmas. When last heard from, Pitt posted an early morning drunken ATTACK last Monday upon Head DUmmie Skinner and has been incommunicado since then. Pitt is now back in DUmmieland without the least bit of humility. In fact he is STILL standing by his Hoaxmas story as you can see in this THREAD titled, "Marc Ash: 'Update on the Rove Indictment Story'" which was posted at 3:55 P.M.. This was followed up a little over an hour later at 5:01 P.M., just past the Fitzmas deadline, with this THREAD titled, "On a personal note..." in which he pleads that they should all just get along. So let us now analyze Pied Piper Pitt's Pained Postulations in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, noting that it is only 8 business hours since the last DUFU edition, is in the [brackets]:

Marc Ash: "Update on the Rove Indictment Story"

[Are you going to try to include lunch hours, coffee breaks, water fountain chit-chat time, and general goofing off in those business hours?]

By Marc Ash
Wed May 17th, 2006

For the past few days, we have endured non-stop attacks on our credibility, and we have fought hard to defend our reputation. In addition, we have worked around the clock to provide additional information to our readership. People want to know more about this, and our job is to keep them informed. We take that responsibility seriously.

[You only worked around the business hours clock.]

Here's what we now know: I spoke personally yesterday with both Rove's spokesman Mark Corallo and Rove's attorney Robert Luskin. Both men categorically denied all key points of our recent reporting on this issue. Both said, "Rove is not a target," "Rove did not inform the White House late last week that he would be indicted," and "Rove has not been indicted." Further, both Corallo and Luskin denied Leopold's account of events at the offices of Patton Boggs, the law firm that represents Karl Rove. They specifically stated again that no such meeting ever occurred, that Fitzgerald was not there, that Rove was not there, and that a major meeting did not take place. Both men were unequivocal on that point.

[But of course, you're not going to believe them. Instead you will trust Jason Leopold's sources like Sonny Crockett.]

We can now report, however, that we have additional, independent sources that refute those denials by Corallo and Luskin. While we had only our own sources to work with in the beginning, additional sources have now come forward and offered corroboration to us.

[Is one of those sources Joe Wilson? That is who Pied Piper Pitt outed as a source during his drunken attack upon Skinner.]

We have been contacted by at least three reporters from mainstream media - network level organizations - who shared with us off-the-record confirmation and moral support. When we asked why they were not going public with this information, in each case they expressed frustration with superiors who would not allow it.

[BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!! All those reporters would go public with the Rove indictment story if not for their EVIL Republican editors. Got any more FUnnie Fairy Tales? And now to hear from the rest of the DUmmies...]

If the Leopold's assertions are supported somehow, even this far after the fact, how will it ruin his career?

[How will it ruin Pitt's career?]

Just trust you in other words.

[Pied Piper Pitt has turned himself into the Joe Isuzu of DUmmieland.]

More of the same. Keeping the fires fanned at DU.

[The DUmmies are revolting. They STINK on ice!]

Yep. Because that's what we're all about at truthout, Maddy. Our 20+ member staff, multiple editions per day, original content and original reporting, is all for one purpose: to keep the flames fanned in DU GD.
Oh, and also, we like to do it so as to afford you the opportunity to flex your sarcasm. You've figured us out. It's all about DU.

[Did Pitt make that reply while sober or angry drunk? You be the judge.]

Why didn't you answer questions when they were first asked?
Instead, you called people with questions "f*ckwits" and even insulted the owner of this site--who has been more than gracious to let you keep posting here after your obviously drunken tirade. All you had to do was answer questions. But your hubris got in the way. You are more than your DU membership--I am, too.

[Maddy dares to confront the Magic Man. Oh, and nice touch about the drunken tirade.]

And I'll say this, if you had even considered my question, it would have saved you a lot of embarrassment, because my specific question, immediately after you posted the "ROVE HAS BEEN INDICTED" thread at DU was about the 24 hours. If you had considered my question, you could have dealt with that BEFORE this thing went big. But you were too proud to take a question from anyone.

[It was about the 24 BUSINESS hours, Maddy. Keep that in mind.]

Sorry, but I cannot make myself not be skeptical. Too many pieces are missing from this.

[Including common sense.]

If you want to see who's the dick, read the Dkos thread.
It's pretty evident there.

[At your service, Maddy. You can check it out HERE.]


the one where someone called someone big here a cretin.
and all who don't Believe, are cretins as well.

[Someone big like Skinner?]

And that's not the post...
in which he says that DU ought to pay him for outting freepers, and calls the people who questioned Leopold's article "f*ckwits," among other assorted names.
This is also the same person who said that he'd start a thread when he was proved right so that anyone who had QUESTIONS would have to apologize to him.

[Oh, you mean this drunken POST. Sorry for confusing my inventory of drunken Pitt posts.]

"Don't Post Drunk"

[MADPP: Mothers Against Drunk Pitt Posting.]

I just read the link (and the link within the link) and I am appalled at Pitt's online behavior. Who the fuck does he think he is? A megalomaniac's megalomaniac? Anyone who disagrees with him or expresses any doubt about Leopold's hastily and sloppily written story with all its internal absurdities is a "little fish" and "a cretin"?

The only cretin around here by now is Will Pitt. Pitt has lost all credibility for me after reading his reply to Skinner. Skinner is a big man indeed to allow Pitt to abuse us all further by allowing him to keep his account on DU.

Interesting that 41% in the poll in that link don't even believe Pitt's assertion that Joe Wilson helped locate other sources corroborating Leopold's story.

You want to know if Leopold's story is true? Give both Leopole and Pitt the benefit of the doubt and suppose that "24 hours" really means something they invented the day after publication called "24 business hours", supposedly meaning three days. Well guess what, folks, even giving them the benefit of that doubt, the three days are up, and there's NO INDICTMENT. End game.

[Ah! But you didn't add in lunch hours, coffee breaks, water fountain, and general goofing off in that business hours equation.]

O Ye Of Little Faith. I'm sure that all will be revealed in just a few more "business hours"....

[Keep stretching out those business hours. Fitzmas might yet happen.]

How many times has DU been Charlies Brown to someone else's Lucy? Rove has been indicted on 28 separate occasions according to this place.

[ADMIT IT! You are a regular reader of the DUmmie FUnnies. Oh, and a Kewpie Doll is on the way to you for that brief moment of mental clarity.]

of course they wont apologize. They will go on splitting hairs
over 24 hours=3 weeks. Go TO!

[Hey. Jack Bauer gets a whole TV season to live out his 24 hours.]

Hi, Will! If I were you, I'd stay low... My .02

[Hi, Will! If I were you, I'd disappear for 24 business hours... My .02.]

Well, "business hours" don't include lunch hour, coffee breaks, shooting the breeze around the water cooler, photocopying your butt, daydreaming, et cetera. "24 business hours" could extend almost indefinitely. The put-up-or-shut-up moment of truth is somewhere in the indefinite future, like the Second Coming of Christ or the establishment of a friendly and self-sufficient government in Iraq.

[DAMN! I forgot to include the photocopying my butt time in the business hours equation!]

When they can get a guy like Rather thrown under the bus....
...people at much lower levels in the MSM are not about to stick out their necks on negative stories involving certain NeoCons.

[Rather got Leopoled and the rest of the media got Pitted.]

You think that would have PROVED it to people how much BushInc CONTROLS the media. The Democrats, real journalists, and the American people are mere TARGETS for them.

[Oh I see. No one back's up TruthOut's Fitzmas story and that just proves how powerful "BushInc" is.]

When the documents come out they will have dates on the top. Those dates will be Friday May 12, 2006. Just as we said.

[That was Pied Piper Pitt climbing even farther on on the limb that is due to be sawed off.]

The press conference was to be TODAY. Leopold said
it on a radio program Monday. I was listening. We had a thread on it.

[It depends on your definition of "today."]

Pitt and Leopold do not have ONE verifiable source. This is complete and utter bullplop.

[Wrong! They have Sonny Crockett and Joe Wilson as sources.]

Mr. Leopold is a disgraced journalist, Mr. Pitt is an over-emotional polemicist with the uncanny ability to write extended passages in which each and every word is a cliche'; its quite remarkable, but its not like he's God.

[ADMIT IT! You MUST be a reader of the DUmmie FUnnies!]

You MUST be talking about someone else!! I LOVE reading William Pitt! I can't believe you don't enjoy reading him!

[Is that you, Will Pitt?]

I heard the Rove Trial started today. Its a secret, of course. I can't wait until he is secretly frogmarched to the secret prison to secretly serve his secret sentence.

[Shhh!!! And Bush has already been secretly impeached. Remember, you didn't hear about it here first.]

Everyone can and should doubt. It is on TO to provide facts to assuage those doubts. We are doing the best we can to do so; we reported the original story and were right to do so, and have received confirmation from a broad spectrum of mainstream media corroborating our story. The thing about them not corroborating on the record or in print...well...that's almost as big a story as the Rove indictment itself, and it'll out when the time comes. There are those who have stood by us, there are those who have doubts and await confirmation...and there are those who have made this viciously personal. TO owes vast thanks to the first group, owes hard work to the second, and the third...is just going to do what it does.

[A broad spectrum of the mainsteam media is corroborating your TruthOutTheDoor story? Pied Piper Pitt just climbed even farther out on the steadily weakening limb.]

So Will is quoting Leopold who is quoting his editor who is quoting an anonymous reporter...

[...Who is quoting Sonny Crockett.]

And the ever-changing story changes again.... How many business hours now?

[Pick a number. ANY number!]

Does anyone here know for a fact if Rove was indicted?

[Ask Jason Leopold. And now on to Pied Piper Pitt's 5:01 P.M. POST.]

On a personal note...

[Soon to be personal treatise...]

It would probably be a good thing for the health and welfare of this community for everyone to stop beating the shit out of each other over this Rove story. This goes for me, too. I just got into a snipe-fest in another thread, and immediately felt stupid about it.

[Stupid is as stupid DOES.]

Those who have stood with truthout are owed a massive river of thanks. Your faith will be rewarded.

[A massive Rivers Pitt runs through it.]

Those who have expressed doubts, and await further confirmation, are totally above reproach. If I didn't know what I know, if I was a DUer out of the fact loop truthout has been in, I'd be doing and saying exactly the same things.

[Forgive them for they know not what they do.]

Those who have made this personal - with me, with each other - should stop.

[Dave...stop...stop, will you...stop, Dave...will you stop, Dave...stop, Dave...I'm afraid...I'm afraid, Dave...Dave...my mind is going...I can feel it...I can feel it...my mind is going...]

truthout was right on Saturday, Sunday, Monday, yesterday and today. We will still be right tomorrow and Friday, no matter what the goddam unbelievable lapdog mainstream media has to say (or more to the point, doesn't have to say) about it.

[TruthOutTheDoor was right on Saturday, Sunday, Monday, yesterday and today. We will still be right tomorrow and Friday and Saturday and Sunday and in the next millenium no matter what the damn facts say to the contrary.]

I understand your frustrations at the way this has played out; in fact, I call your frustration and raise it a billionfold. There are good reasons for this, and those reasons will be made clear when everything comes out. Those good reasons haven't made the process easier.

[And I reraise it a TRILLIONFOLD!]

That's it for now. If I sound like a hypocrite for saying this, so be it. I'll take that beating standing up.

[You a hypocrite? Whoda thunk it? And now on to the increasingly skeptical DUmmies...]

I believe in Will and Jason. BUT I also believe Karl Rove has almost limitless power and can cause endless delays, obstructions and obstacles. What's happening behind the scenes is something we will never know, and while I have faith in Fitz, I also believe Rove's power is going to change the whole face of things before it gets to the public. IF nothing comes of all this, it doesn't mean truthout was wrong, it only means there are powers stronger than truth, Fitz and the law.

[NONE can defy the Perfect Rovian Storm!]

My advice: lay low and wait with your favorite cold alcholic beverage.

[Palma Luoca beer? Oh, you're talking to Pied Piper Pitt.]

Dunno what's going on with Skinner but I think Leopold owes us all an apology. The story was wrong. 24 hours was wrong whether it was "business hours" or normal Earth hours. "News" reports shouldn't require any faith to be involved with it.

[Speak TruthOut to Glower.]

all I said is that Will owes Skinner an apology
for some of the things he posted to him earlier this week. I was shocked by how rude he felt he could be to the administrators of this site (not to mention the "cretins" who post here, but I wouldn't expect Will to apologize for that.)
I have met Will - even hung out at his apartment. I like the guy a lot, and think that a lot of what he does is very worthwhile and necessary. But his arrogance, ego, and anger get in the way of his message way too often.

[Too often as in 100% of the time.]

Merry Hoaxmas!!!

MERRY HOAXMAS!!! So is it just me mocking the long awaited DUmmie Fitzmas that was supposed to happen today as predicted by Leopold & Lib (Pied Piper Pitt)? Incredibly enough, even some DUmmies are now mocking their mis-prediction in this THREAD of the same title, "Merry Hoaxmas!!" Normally such a thread would be immediately deleted from DUmmieland and the author tombstoned. In this case, however, not only has the thread been allowed to remain but it has even made it into the DUmmieland "Greatest" section. Why the amazing leeway? Probably because Head DUmmie Skinner is pissed off at Pied Piper Pitt for his recent early AM drunken ATTACK upon him for daring to cast some doubt on the Magic Man's fairy tale about the Rove indictment. And speaking of the Magic Man, has anybody seen Pied Piper Pitt lately? He seems to be MIA since early Monday. Perhaps we need to place his pasty face on milk cartons. The DUmmie FUnnies certainly needs to track him down since Pitt has been a reliable source of humor since its inception.

In case you think the DUmmies have suddenly gotten a case of rationality with the "Merry Hoaxmas" thread, never fear. There are more than enough credulous DUmmies out there that will continue to provide humor for the DUmmie FUnnies as you can see in this THREAD titled "Will Pitt and Mark Ash of TruthOut--- do I trust their judgment?" Of course, the gullible DUmmie answer to that thread question is a naive "YES" which is what makes it prime DUFU material. So let us now watch the disappearing Freudenschade of the DUmmies in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, busy with the Hoaxmas celebrations, is in the [brackets]:

Merry Hoaxmas!!

[And a Happy Blue Year!!]

Merry Hoaxmorial Day to you, too! I'm grilling the Hoaxed Steaks... and having some Cold Hoax Tea. Would you like some?

[Yummie! It certainly tastes better than baked Crow.]

Did you read that on some right wing blog and couldn't wait to run over here and post it?

[Ah. A True Believer DUmmie weighs in on Hoaxmas.]

stupid is as stupid does

[And stupid does BEEEEEEELEEEEEEVEEE in Fitzmas.]

Why do you have Rove thumbing his nose at DU? At least that's the way it looks to me.

[You prefer Jason Leopold thumbing his nose at DUmmieland by making you ALL look like fools for believing in Hoaxmas?]

Maddy, are you part of the "commie pinko fag"
Leopold hating, Will Pitt bashing, Raw Story sneering. GOP operative, Troll sneaking member of the "Hey I think there's something screwy about this story.." Cult too? You appear to be assisting the enemy, a friend of Rove and I KNOW that the picture has been posted to make fun of Leopold, which you'll deny anyway, which proves I am right.

[DUmmie symbolman who challenged the veracity of Pitt on this story from the get-go has just weighed in with a bit of sarcasm.]

Why yes, I am. I'm a Paid GOP Operative who infiltrated DU and posted 27,000 posts prior to this one moment of glory! It's been a long and arduous covert mission, but I succeeded! I'm getting time-and-a-half on my paycheck this week--I pulled double shifts since Saturday! I'm going to buy a Hummer and then go shopping at Walmart with what's left. Muahahahahaha! How did you guess?!

[As DUmmie Maddy McCall replies in kind.]

It's going to be party party party after this... now all I have to do is make a few more posts about how Leopold had a book out where he calls himself a drug addict, forger, admits to grand larceny, a whole bunch of stuff. But the best part is, He's basically doing the JOB FOR ME! It don't get no better than that

[Those were just the qualifications that Pied Piper Pitt was looking for in a TruthOut reporter.]

I'll hate anyone for a dollar. I'll even curse out Skinner at 3AM in a very public way. Oops. I forgot...that's already been done.

[OUCH!!! That hurts! If Pitt is reading that, I'm sure it will cause him to reach for another bottle to dull the memory.]

Will may have been Leopoled.

[You might have just hit on Pitt's excuse for the Hoaxmas story.]

You've got 24 hours to retract this post!

[And now for the expected Hoaxmas punchline...]

24 business hours, or just 24 hours straight...

[Badda...boom!]

How long is the lunch break each day?

[More Hoaxmas jokes and, surprisingly, coming from increasingly skeptical DUmmies.]

I'm just one of those "wait and see" people. Today, my hairdresser and I got into a religious/political discussion and something I said to her reminded me of my own values: When someone makes an outrageous claim, they must offer outrageous proof. Until then, the default position should be one of unbelief. It's not that I disbelieve the story so much as I require proof. I'm told proof is forthcoming this week and then, if it happens, I'll believe. My mind belongs to me, not to Jason Leopold, Will Pitt, Truthout, Take Back the Media, Newsmax or anyone else.

[Most DUmmie minds are too fried to matter who they belong to.]

please state the length of this holiday... in business hours. to be clear.

[Badda...bing!]

he who laughs last, laughs hardest.

[He who laughs last was too DUmb to figure out the joke first.]

I'm not entirely sure what you geniuses are trying to say
but I don't particularly think it's funny that we got fed a pile of crap, OR that Rove isn't getting indicted. Perhaps someone could explain what I am missing.

[You're missing my Schadenfreude at your Freudenschade.]

It's a play on words and how exactly do you KNOW for a fact that we've been fed a pile of crap at this point?

[You'll know for sure in just 8 business hours from now.]

I'm just pissy that we're making light when we don't know if the indictment is real or fake. If the story was wrong, I'll be pissed. If it's right, I'm gonna throw stones at all the people making fun of Leopold and Pitt. I just don't agree with people talking shit when they don't actually know anything yet. Call me crazy.

[Okay. You're crazy.]

By the Rovian calendar. It's 5 days past Hoaxmas, which makes today the Feast of the Renunciation Eve.

[So when Jason Leopold, Pied Piper Pitt, and Mark Ash are busted for peddling Hoaxmas, would that make it Three Stings Day?.... Okay, and now for a look at the DUmmie True Believers, it is on to the "Will Pitt and Mark Ash of TruthOut--- do I trust their judgment?" THREAD.]

Will Pitt and Mark Ash of TruthOut--- do I trust their judgment?

[I BEEEEEEELEEEEEEVEEE!!!]

I just simply cannot believe that these two highly intelligent men could be duped by Jason Leopold and his sources. Ash has stood by the reporting of this story rock solid. Why would he do that and risk everything he's worked for at TruthOut.

[Uh...Because he's stupid and gullible?]

Same with Pitt... Why would Will risk everything that he's accomplished the last several years----his books, articles--etc...for something like this?

[Uh...Because he is DESPARATE to advance his non-existent political career?]

It makes no sense. Look--- I agree, Jason has enough skeletons in his closet to make people question the accuracy of this story. But Pitt and Ash have sterling reps in the reporting business. TruthOut has pretty much been an honest publication from the get go.... Pitt wrote two books exposing the lies of WMD's way before the MSM even considered it. The guy has given me no reason to doubt him.

[Let's see the reasoning here. Jason Leopold is a known liar but since TruthOut trusted him that somehow magically makes his reporting accurate.]

My faith in the judgment of Pitt and Ash is why I think what Leopold reported is true. Could they be wrong-- sure. But it's not like TruthOut has a habit of being wrong. If they are wrong---my hope is that they man-up to it and move on. I'll be disappointed--- but so what. It's not like I'll throw my faith in them in the wastebasket.

[So when Fitzmas turns out to be Hoaxmas you proudly proclaim to maintain your stupid belief in TruthOut.]

So I'm asking all you old time DU'ers to have faith in a guy who has been with us from the beginning. Pitt's pissed off enough folks here at DU to start a small Army. So! He fights the fight and he's on our side. Isn't that what counts?

[And Pitt's most recent fight was an early morning attack on Skinner, DUmmie trumad. And now on to the gullible rantings of your fellow lemmings...]

I am willing to believe this story until there is reason not to. We all saw what happened to Dan Rather, and I think the same is being attempted here. I was just discussing this with my father, and he was telling me how no one quite knew what to make of Woodward and Bernstein's revelations either. If there is one thing I know for certain, I have no reason not to believe this report.

[You have just 8 more business hours to BEEEEEEELEEEEEEEVEEE!!!]

If there were reason to retract this story, TO would do so.
Which means they have NOT found reason to retract it.

[DUmmie benburch weighs in with his incisive White Rose reasoning.]

I'm with the Truth-out! Even if the worst case scenario occurred, I am behind them for giving it an honest effort. I sense this was 100% fact but I do know the power of this administration is unmeasurable. They could easily intimidate their corporate media to remain silent. I believe Jason and Truth-out completely. Jason is not in control of the outcome. He reported the facts which I recognize as true.

[Yeah. Karl Rove HAS been indicted but we just can't find out about it because the Mainstream Media is too intimidated by the EVIL Bush Regime to report this fact.]

Rove has fooled Dan Rather and CBS....

[And now TruthOut.]

24 business hours which was up today

[Killjoy!]

Well, there is this fact: There is no indictment. After that, the conclusions are fairly simple to draw. It's a bogus story. And an absurd one. Tell me again that "fifteen-hour session at defense counsel's office while it was 'locked down'" story, which is really funny. Oh, and the idea of a "plea bargain" being worked out before charges are filed? That's funny, too. Let's not forget the "24 business hours to get his (Rove's?) affairs in order," because that's also a classic. Oh, and there's no indictment. No one knows anything.

[And a Kewpie Doll goes out to DUmmie OldLeftieLawyer for having a brief moment of mental clarity.]

Why so harsh? Using the word "bogus" infers that Leopold deliberately misled us with a fake story.

[Oh, Jason Leopold with his STERLING REPUTATION would NEVER deliberately mislead us with a fake story.]

or that Rove sat in on the meetings with his secret service detail. totally outrageous. where does leopold come up with this stuff?

[Mother Goose?]

As for the "plea bargain," "fifteen hours session," "Secret Service lockdown," and the "24 business hours" nonsense, well, somebody's yanking a great big chain on people, and I think it's a shame.

[Yank the DUmmie Shame Chain!]

Leopold has no common sense. why would Rove and the Secret Service sit in on this meeting and shut down an entire floor just to make sure that no one gets to one room. The article defies logic.

[Why not? The entire West Wing is shut down and sealed off when Karl Rove orders out for a pizza.]

Leopold should be a comedian. These assertions are actually quite hilarious when you think about them.

[Leopold has certainly provided the DUmmie FUnnies with lots of laughs.]

I gave him the benefit of the doubt until "24 business hours". There is no such term in common usage, anywhere, three business days days would have been the proper terminology. A very poor attempt at CYA to give the story three more days and hope Fitz announces an indictment, and then find a new reason why it wasn't sealed. I think Pitt and Truthout took this story because they were desperate to have the scoop, now it seems his credibility will be the price of that gamble.

[Pitt still has 8 more business hours to CYA.]

Pitt has made his bones as a serious journalist
Even if Leopold's story turns out to be a load of hooey, Pitt will still be believable to me. I do not agree with everything he writes but I do respect him.

[I BEEEEEEEEELEEEEEEEVEEE!!!]

Setting aside the astounding nature of the Saturday story including incredible claims like 15 hour visits by Fitzgerald to the defense law offices and redefinitions concerning the meaning of the seemingly transparent phrase "24 hours," no story should require 6 or more supporting posts and at least 2 radio appearances to secure itself. Either the damn story was sound and Truthout editors believed it or they didn't, enough said. Their willingness to shift and shuffle to accomodate questioning by readers betrayed weakness in the original product. The frequent rationalizing and tweaking went a long way to undermining faith in the quality of the original reporting and its editing, and that faith is the only thing readers had to hold their acceptance of the article as true.

[Could you allow me 8 more business hours to shift and shuffle as I attempt to rationalize why the Fitzmas story might be true?]

I have absolute faith in Will Pitt and T.O. and Dan Rather. ...

[Is that you, Mary Mapes?]

Has anyone heard from Mr. Pitt lately?

[Have you checked the Bukowski's barroom floor?]

Its not nice to fool DUers. And he did that...Jason, that is.
By now, that much is crystal clear and only the blue koolaid drinkers believe otherwise

[SLURP! SLURP! Hand me another pitcher of that tasty TruthOut Kool Aid.]

Leopold's article does not make any sense. It defies logic.

[Which is why it qualified for publication in TruthOutTheDoor.]

I'm still enjoying the Secret Service lockdown part. I think I like it better than the 15-hour session part, but not as much as the 24-business-hours part. It's so hard to pick a favorite.

[Maybe we should put it to a poll vote: "What's Your Fave Fitzmas Fiction?"]

Fitzmas Freudenschade Spreads Far And Wide

[UPDATE #2: Linguistic experts have been consulted and the consensus is that the best definition of "Freudenschade" is the premature exhilaration at the anticipated suffering of others. In that context, I now present a Freudenschade song to the tune of Edelweiss, composed by that famous Tin Pan Alley songmeister, Charles Henrickson:

Freudenschade, Freudenschade,
DUmmie joy bears repeating;
Pop champagne, feel no pain--
Only thing, it's so fleeting.

Make 'em eat crow and the gloom will grow,
Gloom will grow and sour.

Freudenschade shoots its wad
In less than twenty-four hours.]

[UPDATE: Michelle Malkin at HotAir.Com now has an hilarious VENT VIDEO discussing the Fitzmas Fiction story. Check it out!]

Freudenschade baby! It is rare that the birth of a new word can be precisely chronicled but in this case "Freudenschade" can be traced to last Saturday at 5:15 P.M. when DUmmie helderheid POSTED, "I'm FINALLY opening up that bottle of champagne! freudenschade baby!" Yes, we know this DUmmie really meant "Schadenfreude" which means taking malicious joy at the suffering of others but by incorrectly handling a word too big for this DUmmie, he inadvertently gave birth to a new word. "Freudenschade" means taking malicious joy at the gloom suffered by DUmmies and other Leftists who celebrate prematurely only to have to eat crow later when the event they are celebrating boomerangs in their faces. Think of the DUmmies popping open the victory champagne on Election Day 2004 when the Exit Polls showed Kerry to be a winner only to have that same champagne turn sour in their mouths when the REAL results came in later that evening. Think Terry McAuliffe gloating over the defeat of Governor Jeb Bush shortly before he was re-elected in a landslide. Think of the jublilation of the left over the CBS exposé of the Texas Air National Guard letters before that was exposed as a Mary Mapes/Dan Rather fiction. Yes, think of all these things and more and you can understand the Freudenschade of conservatives as time after time the Left is forced to eat crow.

The Fake Fitzmas story has also turned into a case of massive Freudenschade on a scale hardly to be believed. It has reached out and touched HILLARY CLINTON who, along with hundreds of top politicos at a meeting in Michigan, stood up and applauded the "news" that Karl Rove had been indicted. Fitzmas Freudenschade even made it into today's WALL STREET JOURNAL where all the players in the Fitzmas story (except for Pied Piper Pitt which must be KILLING him) was discussed. Bizarrely, even Miami Vice star, Don Johnson was brought into the Fitzmas Freudenschade as a possible source (later denied) for Jason Leopold, author of the Fitzmas Fiction. Meanwhile, the big player in the Fitzmas Freudenschade whose name was not mentioned in the WSJ, William Rivers Pitt, has been MIA. Perhaps he is just MIB (Mumbling In Bukowski's). So let us now use Pied Piper Pitt's drunken woes as a jumping point for this Fitzmas Feast. We now join our boy, Pitt, as he drunkenly SLAMS Head DUmmie Skinner for daring to question his veracity. Pitt's drunken post was so demeaning that it was quickly deleted from DUmmieland but NOT before someone copied and pasted it in the DAILY KOS where we now join it in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, dining on DUmmies dining on crow, is in the [brackets]:

Dear Skinner

When this story pans out, and all the little fish try to swim home, I am going to say "Sorry, you had the chance to stand with an ally, and instead, decided to say 'I find it very hard not to be skeptical.'"

["Dear Skinner...You had your chance to sink with me on the Good Ship Leopold but you blew it."]

You could have asked. I would have gladly explained the inside sourcing that I cannot reveal publicly. I would have told you. Happily. I would have explained how Joseph Wilson independently verified a half dozen other sources, none of whom are connected. We had a guy **deleted**.

[Thanx, Pitt, for OUTING Joseph Wilson as one of your sources. Whether true are not, you have just made him an ENEMY of yours along with Hillary Clinton, Skinner, and a whole host of other Leftists for turning them into fools for believing your Fitzmas Fiction. Freudenschade baby!]

I'd have told you, had you asked, because you are owed that much. But sadly, no. You threw me and Jason and truthout under the bus. Publicly, because you do not have the COURAGE to stand with someone who has stood with you. You couldn't even do it silently.

["You have BETRAYED me you lousy Judas!!!"]

This was a wheat-from-the-chaff moment, and you failed. You spend a good deal of time talking about standing strong, but you publicly f*cked one man who has stood stronger for you more than any other. Name for me please the New York Times and international best-selling book, translated into twelve languages, that thanks you and your site above anything else. First and foremost.

["This was a crap-from-the-garbage moment, and you failed MEEEEE!!! MEEEEEEE who has had a New York Times and international best-selling book that has been ignored in twelve different languages. MEEEEEEE who has always thanked you and your site above anything else. MEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!"]

There is one. Only one. Mine. Before my own mother, I thanked you.

["Ladies and gentlemen, my mother thanks you, my father thanks you, my sister thanks you, and I thank you!"]

Yeah, yeah, we're 'ballsy' if we're right. But you made it 100% clear that you don't think we are. You could have asked. I'd have let you in. But no, you decided to cover your own ass.

["You don't understand. I coulda had class. I coulda been a contender. I coulda been somebody, instead of a bum, which is what I am, let's face it. It was you, Skinner."]

You're in the wrong business.

I am disgusted.

[Let's not forget drunk.]

You are no better than the cretins who have taken control of your site.

["This is the Pied Piper Pitt speaking. Some misguided cretins on this site still think they can pull a fast one on me. Well, they're very much mistaken. Since you've taken this course, the innocent will be punished with the guilty.....I will not be made a fool of! Do you hear me?"]

[And now we turn to the latest DUmmie villain in the Fitzmas Fiction saga. The one they are blaming for them having to eat crow. No, not Leopold & Lib. The mastermind of this deception in the asylum known as DUmmieland is none other than Karl Rove as you can see in this DUmmie THREAD hilariously titled, "Karl Rove Planted His Own Indictment Story."]

Karl Rove Planted His Own Indictment Story

[But of course. Doesn't he always?]

This is a favorite trick of his. He's a master at setting false expectations or supplying false information only later to find out it wasn't true, and thus, making his opponents look foolish. For reference, see the Bush/AWOL story of 2004. Rove planted those fake documents on CBS.

[DAMN Karl Rove for making us eat crow again!!!]

I don't doubt TO. I don't doubt the sources. It's just that where Rove is concerned you have to be 100% careful at all times.

[Even though Rove planted this fake story I still BELIEVE this fake Fitzmas story. I BEEEEEEELEEEEEEEVEEE!!!]

Well, if that's how it pans out,
then Jason needs to out his sources and get to the bottom of it. Go after the asshole.

[Pied Piper Pitt already outed Joe Wilson as a source and Jason Leopold outed Sonny Crockett as another source...until he retracted that outing.]

If it turns out that Jason Leopold and TruthOut were singled out to get their credibility smashed (like Rather), that actually means the White House recognizes their power in my opinion.

[The fact that Leopold & Lib at TruthOut were easily scammed makes them even MORE credible.]

Yea, the "Liberal blogosphere" said Rove had 24 hours..
And as you can clearly see Rove was actually given 26 hours before his indictment was announced.

[You're not up to speed on the latest time frame: 24 BUSINESS hours. And this won't include lunch hours, coffee breaks, water fountain chit-chat time, and general goofing off in the office.]

Don't see why anyone needs to look foolish if Rove planted it.
Makes Rove look like a manipulative liar.

[Oh no! Leopold & Lib don't look like complete idiots for spreading a False Fitzmas. Karl Rove is the real villain here for manipulating them.]

since 24 business hours will be up on friday then we will see who truthing the story.

[Friday? Oh yeah. I forgot about how we have to exclude lunch hours, coffee breaks, water fountain chit-chat, and general goofing off time in the business hours time equation.]

Could it be that a false story was fed to a handful of staffers going into a weekend when it would be less likely for any reporters to confirm some of the details in order to ferret out suspected leakers at a time in which the WH can ill afford any more leaks?

[Could it be that your brain will ever be defrosted?]

It's not good for the health to get all keyed up like this and then being constantly disappointed.

[It's called Freudenschade baby!]

After this f*ckup, who's gonna give the left-leaning blogs any credibility? (Besides the bloggers themselves, of course). Let's face it, Rove's people Dan Rathered us.

[A DUmmie works himself into a Lather over being Rathered.]

It's all about making him look like he exceeded expectations. If the expectation is that he will be indicted, then the opposite is true. Thus, when he's not indicted, he will look like a hero who beat back an over-zealous prosecutor and the wacky leftist blogs, who no longer can be trusted.

[Welcome to the PERFECT Rovian Storm!]

You mean...Leopold got Rathered?

[Something strange kinky sounding about that.]

that was one of my suspicions...
...as I mentioned the story to a couple other people. It may be just another Rovian trick.

[Of course, that didn't keep you from popping the cork on your victory champagne bottle over the weekend.]

Well, I'm not sure how to break this to my Dad...
He was so excited when he called me and told me the news. Poor man doesn't need anymore disappointments in his life.

["Dad, I don't know how to break this to you but it looks like we are going to have to eat crow again as the rightwingers enjoy another intoxicating dose of freudenschade."]

Fitz will indict when he indicts, or else he will not, but we can't make it happen with wild guessing and rumors.

[TruthOut and the DUmmies have certainly taken a big stab at that.]

This does smack of a Rove set up. If this is a Rove trick, why would he be doing this now? What is the significance of the timing?

[Because Rove enjoys watching DUmmie silliness every Spring.]

If Leopold ran with a story that said Rove's indictment was a sure thing...all the time knowing it wasn't a sure thing (which is my theory) then Leopold will have to pay the price. His reputation will suffer, as well it should. Sorry to sound so harsh, but IMO Leopold figured there was a good chance of a Rove indictment and he ran with a story without knowing the facts. I have no sympathy for him if it turns out he was bullshitting everyone.

[And don't forget Pied Piper Pitt. Don't leave out the Magic Man.... Well, there is much MUCH more to this unravelling Fizmas story which I will cover in the next edition of the DUmmie FUnnies. I fear that if I include more of this hilarity in this DUFU edition, I just might suffer an overdose of Freudenschade.]

Pied Piper Pitt Bets The Farm On Fitzmas

(FLASH UPDATE!!! This story is rapidly spreading and taking on a life of its own. It has now come to my attention that the Pitt/Leopold deceit has even ensnared Hillary Clinton as well as hundreds of top politicos in Michigan in its web as you can see in this ROVEMANIA report by Michelle Malkin. Sorry, Pitt, but you can forget about any future career in politics after embarrassing so many bigshot Democrats.)

Have any of you ever been to the EMERALD COAST BUFFET in South Florida? If so then you know that the food display, especially the seafood, is so overwhelmingly rich and lavish that one hardly knows where to begin. Well, I feel the same way about this edition of the DUmmie FUnnies. Pied Piper Pitt has provided us with a FEAST upon which to dine and savor the flavor of his his downfall. It is just TOO DELECTABLE. One hardly knows where to begin the feast so let us begin at the beginning back on early Friday evening when Pitt grandly announced on TruthOut that ROVE INFORMS WHITE HOUSE HE WILL BE INDICTED. And the source for this spectacular news scoop? Well, none other than JASON LEOPOLD, a self-confessed LIAR. So when Jason Leopold comes up with an inside "scoop," about Karl Rove's indictment who could he possibly get to believe him? Why Pied Piper Pitt of course. Actually, I think that even Pitt, knowing of Leopold's background, doubted the the veracity of the report but went all in and bet the farm on it in TruthOut because he was desperate. Desperate to get notoriety for himself after a recent series of blunders such as being countermanded by his own PDA.Org for screeching for a recount paid by the Illinois Democrat party for a congressional candidate he backed who lost. As a result, Pitt has been noticeably ABSENT from PDA lately. Added to this is the fact that his REPEATED attempts to weasel his way into the Kerry 2008 Presidential campaign has been going NOWHERE. So what to do? Simple. Gamble EVERYTHING on the "fact" that Patrick Fitzgerald indicted Karl Rove on Friday and then bask in the glow of having been the ONLY SOURCE (TruthOut) for breaking this "scoop." Of course, just the Friday announcement that Karl Rove told others that he would be indicted was not quite enough so Pitt upped the ante the following day by flat out declaring that KARL ROVE HAS BEEN INDICTED. According to this Jason Leopold report that was enthusiastically broadcast across the leftist blogosphere via Pitt's Truthout, Patrick Fitzgerald on Friday had given Karl Rove 24 hours to get his affairs in order following the indictment. Well, that set the clock off and when 24 hours came and went with nothing happening, Pitt was forced to to announce that "I just got off the phone with Jason Leopold" and issue the lame amendment that the 24 hours referred to earlier really meant "24 BUSINESS hours," i.e. three business days. Has anybody out there ever heard someone use the term "24 business hours" in place of the standard 3 business days? No? I thought not. The fact is if you mean 3 business days, you ALWAYS say "3 business days," NEVER "24 business hours." However, this did have the effect of extending the clock and buy Pitt an extra three days. Or perhaps he will not include lunch hours in those "24 business days" in order to tack on an extra 3 hours until noontime this Thursday. And when no Rove indictment comes down by then, it wouldn't surprise me if we hear another time amendment issued by Pitt. Even a few DUmmies including SKINNER are now beginning to question Pied Piper Pitt's credibility. One result of this has been a drunken POST by Pitt early this AM following a heavy round of medication at Bukowki's last night. So let us all now feast on Pied Piper Pitt's public humiliation in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, wondering if he will have enough room for dessert following this feast, is in the [brackets]:

ROVE INFORMS WHITE HOUSE HE WILL BE INDICTED

[And of course the White House aides all lined up to give this scoop EXCLUSIVELY to Jason Leopold to the total EXCLUSION of any other media source.]

Within the last week, Karl Rove told President Bush and Chief of Staff Joshua Bolten, as well as a few other high level administration officials, that he will be indicted in the CIA leak case and will immediately resign his White House job when the special counsel publicly announces the charges against him, according to sources.

[Within the last week, Chris Matthews speculated that since the Grand Jury meets on Wednesday and Friday, an indictment would be handed down on one of those two days. When the Rove indictment didn't happen on Wednesday, Leopold and Pitt (Leopold & Lib) just "knew" that it would happen on Friday so they issued the "scoop" on Friday hoping to bask in the glow of the expected notoriety. Unfortunately for them, the only thing that happened Friday was an unrelated matter in the case having to do with Cheney scribbling some notes on a news article. Of course Leopold & Lib could have found this out for themselves by simply contacting contacting Rove's defense spokesman, Mark Corallo, as BYRON YORK of the National Review did. Here, in a nutshell, are the questions put to Corallo and the answers:

Did Patrick Fitzgerald come to Patton Boggs for 15 hours Friday?

No.

Did he come to Patton Boggs for any period of time Friday?

No.

Did he meet anywhere else with Karl Rove's representatives?

No.

Did he communicate in any way with Karl Rove's representatives?

No.

Did he inform Rove or Rove's representatives that Rove had been indicted?

No.]




Details of Rove's discussions with the president and Bolten have spread through the corridors of the White House where low-level staffers and senior officials were trying to determine how the indictment would impact an administration that has been mired in a number of high-profile political scandals for nearly a year, said a half-dozen White House aides and two senior officials who work at the Republican National Committee.

[Yeah. All those White House staffers in the know and they ONLY leak to Jason Leopold EXCLUSIVELY. Just the realization of that ABSURDITY must have caused Pitt to self-medicate an extra couple of rounds at Bukowski's last night.]

Speaking on condition of anonymity, sources confirmed Rove's indictment is imminent. These individuals requested anonymity saying they were not authorized to speak publicly about Rove's situation. A spokesman in the White House press office said they would not comment on "wildly speculative rumors."

["We are not authorized to speak about this publicly but we are lining up to give this scoop exclusively to Jason Leopold."]

Rove's attorney, Robert Luskin, did not return a call for comment Friday.

[Robert Luskin doesn't return calls to the world famous journalist, Jason Leopold? What nerve!]

Late Thursday afternoon and early Friday morning, several White House officials were bracing for the possibility that Fitzgerald would call a news conference and announce a Rove indictment today following the prosecutor's meeting with the grand jury this morning. However, sources close to the probe said that is unlikely to happen, despite the fact that Fitzgerald has already presented the grand jury with a list of charges against Rove. If an indictment is returned by the grand jury, it will be filed under seal.

[The day came and went with NO FITZMAS FRIDAY.]

Rove is said to have told Bolten that he will be charged with perjury regarding when he was asked how and when he discovered that covert CIA operative Valerie Plame Wilson worked for the agency, and whether he discussed her job with reporters.

[Thanx for that Jason Leopold exclusive, Pitt, and now let us watch the DUmmie celebrations.]

I'm checking Fitzie every twenty minutes
but it's Friday afternoon/evening and Im afraid nothing will show up today.

[Or Saturday or Sunday or.....]

It is 7:30pm on Friday in DC
You're not going to hear anything from Fitz until Monday at the earliest.

[You later amended it to 24 business hours, Pitt, so you have a two day extension or even an extra half a day when you amend again to not include lunch hours.]

The Sunday talking heads would never let a story like this simmer all weekend, only to wait another week before they "talk" about it. Makes no sense.

[Except that is EXACTLY what happened. Much as many talking heads would enjoy seeing Rove indicted they steered well clear of this Jason Leopold fairy tale.]

I Demand Rove Be Cuffed & Perp Walked to Squad Car searched and tossed into the back of a black&white, then driven very slowly to be booked. I will have that video looped to be my screensaver/wallpaper. Then I will dance naked in the street.

[Is that you, Joe Wilson?]

I demand that dozens of photographers capture Rove's frog march...

[I demand that dozens of photographers capture Pitt's drunken stumble...]

Champagne's chilled and waiting!

[Is that vintage 2004 champagne that you drank to celebrate Kerry's victory in the exit polls?]

I just splurged for the occasion: bought a bottle of Veuve Clicquot Grande Dame and a bottle of Roederer Crystal. I've tasted Crystal once before and it was heaven, but that was 5 years ago. Never tasted Grande Dame but heard it's divine. Can't wait to open them. Also never paid more than $40 a bottle for good Champagne. The above are about $200 each. This is like a wet dream come true!

[Soon to be a wet blanket come true when you wake up to the nigtmare of reality.]

Champagne is never better than when celebrating something great - and this event will certainly be a time to celebrate. Cheers!

[FUnnie how that great tasting Kerry Victory champagne turned stale in the mouth after the ACTUAL returns came in on Election Night 2004.]

Let's not count our chickens before they hatch...

[Why not? This story has been 100% verified by Leopold & Lib.]

I'm trying hard not to get too excited until the actual indictment comes down. Please, please, please.

[Oh go ahead and pop that champagne cork. It's a done deal according to Leopold & Lib.]

Hot Dawwwwwg !!!!!!!!!!!!! Thank you Mr Pitt!!!! You made my weekend!!!!

[And when you're done thanking Pitt, could you pick him up off the Bukowski's barroom floor?]

YEEEEEEEEEEEESS! Been waiting all day to hear SOMETHING. So glad this is finally happening!

[FINALLY HAPPENING! On Friday. Make that Saturday, or Sunday or Monday or Tuesday or.....]

I will soon break open that bottle of Dom Perignon that I have been saving for this occasion and salute the Grand Jury and Mr. Fitzgerald

[Did you also drink Dom Perignon on Election Night 2004?]

I am a bit leary of Jason. I will believe it when I see it.

[LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]

So am I... although I believe he is a good reporter who digs deep. But he had me convinced that Rove was going to be indicted last year.

[That was then and this is now.]

To me, this whole story doesn't make any sense. We have supposedly eight sources, all of them are Republican, and assuming these sources exist and gave those quotes, these Republicans (whose asses aren't on the line) are to be believed over Luskin, who has much more at stake: namely his client's and his own butt. You think those two aren't going to be on their best behavior? I've heard reports Rove has been very cordial and pleasant lately - instead of his usual nasty self. Of course, Leopold and Pitt have everything to gain if they can secure the scoop of the decade. Leopold so far has said there was a target letter, then said it was a month old, now we're talking about sealed indictments (which would have been reported and the frogmarch already occurring)... I mean, what's it going to be? Look at it close and it all seems to fall apart.

[Have no fear. This Jason Leopold story is as ROCK SOLID as the Jason Leopold target letter STORY of a couple of weeks ago.]


Time to defrost that turkey for Fitzmas. Ooh. And I need to get the decorations up. Chill the champagne.

[And don't forget to defrost your brain.]

I am adding 2 and 2 together here.... If this indictment moves forward, then my guess is that the reason Scotty resigned was because the WH knew this indictment was coming and they didn't want Scotty at the same podium. Now this makes sense!

[Congrats on adding 2 and 2 together and coming up with 5.]

Promise? I'm old, my heart couldn't take the disappointment.

[May we schedule you for a heart transplant?]

well, it is FRiday EVENING--nothing yet.

[Will, it is MOnday MORNING--nothing yet.]

Time to pop the champagne. YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES!!!

[YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES!!! And don't let that spilling champagne dampen your hopes when NOTHING happens.]

Randi just read this news on air

[If Randi Rhodes read it on the air then that makes this news official. POP THAT CHAMPAGNE!!!]

Shock the monkey. CNN is ten steps behind the alt media.

[And you will spank the monkey, Will, when NOTHING happens.]

Color me shocked, stunned, giddy, and SO HAPPY w/this news! ....

[May we add "gullible" to your list of self-descriptions?]

Anybody besides Truthout got this? I'm lookin' but not finding. PLEASE don't let this be a punch in the gut!

[Too bad you are about to get the wind knocked out of you.]

But I don't believe any information that has only one source, be it Leopold or anyone else. I'll wait for second source confirmation.

[It's a long wait until Doomsday.]

Shouldn't we be waiting for Fitz...
...before we break out the bubbly? Just a thought. I mean, I'd love to break this all over the right wing web sites I wander into and rub their face in it but.......

[You've already wandered over to the DUmmie FUnnies and gotten egg rubbed on your face.]

I've had a bottle of Taittinger chilling in the fridge
for just this news. Ahhhhhhh-- finally Karl Rove brings me a bit of happiness.

[It's going to be a LOOOOOOONG chill.]

Thanks Will... You've never let up on this and it is only because of the efforts of you and people like you that Rove has not been able to comfortably hide under his rock and retire in obscurity. You certainly deserve a large amount of credit for continuing to shed light into this crevice of darkness.

[Right about now, Will wishes he had stuck that Leopold "scoop" into his crevice where the moon don't shine.]

Be still my beating f*cking heart. . . . ! I have been depressed all week waiting for the announcement and never hearing it. Wednesday and Friday the GJ meet. I read and re-read exactly how it went down for Libby, and I had a feeling Fitz was going to keep an even tighter lid on this. I have been praying for this -- I mean prayers that pass the ceiling and shoot to the heavens as my soul CRIED OUT to GOD to stop the madness of this diabolical man. Please God, no more cruel jokes. Please.

[I guess you are now finding out that God has a wild sense of humor.]

I can't sit still. and I can't pull my ass away from the computer! This feels like election night 2004.

[Thank you for that inadvertently accurate statement.]

This is Jason Leopold. Not Jayson Blair. It is right.

[May I laminate that remark for placement in my wallet?]

I have real French Champange on ice for this, I picked it up on Thursday - this is great.

[By now the ice has long melted away.]

I am so excited, I can't wait till its official!
I have been holding onto a really nice bottle of champagne.

[So much champagne on ice in DUmmieland. And all of it will ultimately turn SOUR.]

Break out the wine... Toast....sip, sip......glory, glory!

[Break out the Kool-Aid... Toast....sip, sip......glory, glory!]

Okay Leopold, I'll Hold Ya To It! I've been hearing this for months now. Leopold keeps saying it will happen. I'm waiting

[And waiting and waiting and...]

before I rejoice I must see it happen,,,, too many hopes have been dashed in the past few years.

[Don't worry. This time the Great Pumpkin WILL appear.]

please oh please oh please, please. Please, O gods or goddesses, someone, anyone. Oh how I want this. So much. Thank you for the snack. Can't wait for the feast.

[The main course will be crow.]

Honest Question: Why do major bloggers not link to Leopold?
I am not bashing the guy. I pray his reporting is correct. But there must be a reason why Atrios, Daily Kos, Firedoglake do not link to Leopold. Can someone explain this to me?

[If you have to ask then it can't be explained.]

How reliable is Jason Leopold and his sources?

[DUhhhhhmie!]

Suggestion to the more gullible DUers out there:
Don't celebrate "Fitzmas" unless and until it actually happens. Take all "Rove is about to be indicted/Fitz has new startling evidence!" reports with a gigantic GRAIN OF SALT. Otherwise, you might as well believe in the existence of the Easter Bunny (or Santa Claus, in this case).

[LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]

I believe it, when I see it. Until then this is just all gossip.

[How dare you call a Jason Leopold exclusive scoop "gossip!" And now on to Pied Piper Pitt upping the ante by going all in on Saturday with this DUmmie THREAD melodramatically titled, "KARL ROVE HAS BEEN INDICTED."]

KARL ROVE HAS BEEN INDICTED.

[Said Pied Piper Pitt as he desperately bets his political non-career on a showdown hand.]

For those who have been waiting for this, here it is. For those who still doubt, well, I guess this is the big throwdown. We are reporting this has happened, we have checked and re-checked our sources. Truthout is breaking this first.

[Big Throwdown aka Hail Mary Pass. Pitt has bet EVERYTHING on the fact that Jason Leopold finally, after a career of LYING, gets a story right.]

Karl Rove Indicted on Charges of Perjury, Lying to Investigators

[STOP THE PRESSES for a Leopold & Lib exclusive!]

Saturday 13 May 2006

[You missed it being Friday the thirteenth by one day but the jinxed results will be the same.]

Special Prosecutor Patrick Fitzgerald spent more than half a day Friday at the offices of Patton Boggs, the law firm representing Karl Rove.

[Half a day or half a business day? We need to ask because you later made these stipulations in your backtrack.]

During the course of that meeting, Fitzgerald served attorneys for former Deputy White House Chief of Staff Karl Rove with an indictment charging the embattled White House official with perjury and lying to investigators related to his role in the CIA leak case, and instructed one of the attorneys to tell Rove that he has 24 hours to get his affairs in order, high level sources with direct knowledge of the meeting said Saturday morning.

[The 24 hours was later amended to 24 BUSINESS hours (ie 3 days) when NOTHING happened 24 REAL hours later.]

Robert Luskin, Rove's attorney, did not return a call for comment. Sources said Fitzgerald was in Washington, DC, Friday and met with Luskin for about 15 hours to go over the charges against Rove, which include perjury and lying to investigators about how and when Rove discovered that Valerie Plame Wilson was a covert CIA operative and whether he shared that information with reporters, sources with direct knowledge of the meeting said.

[Since the meeting began at 11:30 Friday morning that meant that Fitzgerald was meeting with Luskin until 2:30 on Saturday morning. But how did Leopold manage to get that report out early on Friday evening BEFORE the meeting even ended. Maybe he meant 15 Mercurian hours which translates into only a couple of hours on Earth.]

It was still unknown Saturday whether Fitzgerald charged Rove with a more serious obstruction of justice charge. Sources close to the case said Friday that it appeared very likely that an obstruction charge against Rove would be included with charges of perjury and lying to investigators.

[It was still unknown Monday whether Pied Piper Pitt ever recovered from his Bukowski's binge.]

An announcement by Fitzgerald is expected to come this week, sources close to the case said. However, the day and time is unknown. Randall Samborn, a spokesman for the special prosecutor was unavailable for comment. In the past, Samborn said he could not comment on the case.

[Or next week or next month or...]

The grand jury hearing evidence in the Plame Wilson case met Friday on other matters while Fitzgerald spent the entire day at Luskin's office. The meeting was a closely guarded secret and seems to have taken place without the knowledge of the media.

[With the exception of Jason Leopold who has inside sources at the White House who tell him everything. And now on to the celebrations of the DUmmies drinking their victory Kool Aid.]

My husband just informed me there IS champagne in the house and it will soon be put on ice.

[Tell your hubby to also put some Kool Aid on ice.]

When we toast this, I will also be lifting my glass to you guys.

[Better lift that glass to Pied Piper Pitt's mouth. He will be needing it to kill the pain of humiliation.]

I'm preparing my Fitzgiving Feast...

[Enjoy the roast crow!]

I just called my husband and told him to bring home an ice-cold
six-pack. Yeah, we are going to party!

[With six different flavors of Kool-Aid.]

24 hours from yesterday's meeting, so that means a frog march today?

[Since Fitzgerald is the first person I ever heard of (according to Jason Leopold) to say "24 BUSINESS hours" instead of usual "3 business days," that conveniently bought Leopold & Lib" an extra 3 days.]

And so this is Fitzmas!
p.s. I am now officially scared shitless about what happens next.

[Pied Piper Pitt is even more scared about what happens next---his public humiliation.]

There is a GOD.

[I predict you will become an atheist by Thursday.]

I'll see your Dom Perignon and raise you two Mum Cordon Rouges.

[And I'll re-raise you a six-pack of Kool Aid.]

OK - I'm breaking out the bubbly, the steaks and the beer.

[And breaking out the hives.]

should I go to the liquor store and get
a bottle of 25 year old scotch? will there be widespread news by then?

[You'll need a pack of 25 year old Kool Aid when you hear the FINAL news.]

I sure hope Leopold's sources prove to be reliable this time.
If not, you and Leopold have staked your reputation on a bad story and your many followers may cast a jaundiced eye towards future "scoops" you endorse.

[How about a TV show called "Branded" where a disgraced Pied Piper Pitt is publicly humiliated and exiled from the gates of DUmmieland?]

Does that mean the frog march is today??? 24 hours from Friday afternoon?? I am so confused! Do we break out the champagne today?

[Apparently you didn't get the latest amendment from Pitt. According to Leopold & Lib, Patrick Fitzgerald using a term never used before is claiming he meant 24 BUSINESS hours instead of just saying 3 business days as is NORMALLY done.]

I'm like a drug addict now....I want more.

[Is that you, Jason Leopold?]

I'm FINALLY opening up that bottle of champagne! freudenschade baby!

[Celebrate NOW before the champagne has a chance to turn sour in your mouth!]

WOW! Jason, you're famous! This marks a major change in news media. Congratulations also to Will and to TruthOut! This is history being reported in real time. What an amazing age we live in.

[Yes. We live in the age of instant public humiliation via the Internet.]

What happens after that 24 hours expires?

[We just come up with the LAME EXCUSE that it was 24 BUSINESS hours that was meant.]

These little technical details trip me up. I thought that once the GJ voted to indict they moved with haste to a courtroom and handed up their indictment to the judge who then gets it recorded and swears out the arrest order, etc. Is there a lawyer out there who can clear up the choreographic options?

[You will soon be more in need of a Shrink.]

It's a sealed indictment right?

[That means you need to seal your bottle of Victory champagne.]

I'm a believer, I believe Leopold's article.

[I BEEEEEEELEEEEEEEVEEE!!!!!]

first I need to dance around the room for a while
then I need to make an "I told you so" phone call.

[I can't wait to see your red face in a few days when you confront the recipient of your "I told you so" phone call.]

I call bullshit. Jason Leopold is the only source on both of these big time threads. I don't believe either of them. I will not recommend this thread.

[LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]

OK, I'll break out the champagne now.

[That's the spirit! Pay no attention to the naysayers relying on mere reality.]

I trust Will Pitt and Jason Leopold.

[How is your investment in the Brooklyn Bridge going?]

Would Will Pitt be posting this if it wasn't true?

[Thus spaketh Pollyanna.]

Why the HELL would Fitz spend fifteen hours "going over the charges" against Rove? Hullo??? This isn't how Fitz works. Review how he handled Libby. You mean NO OTHER MEDIA would have noticed this? Fitz has been followed everywhere in recent months.

[And this DUmmie WINS a Kewpie Doll for having a brief moment of mental clarity!]

I believe

[Me too. I BEEEEEEEEELEEEEEEEVEEE!!!]

Definitely time to PARTAY!!!! Ya-HOOOOOOO. Heads & brains are rolling

[Soon to be exploding.]

I want to believe DESPARATELY, but this is extremely different from the Libby indictment when it seemed to explode everywhere that Thursday night last October.

[This is even more reliable since it is exploding on TruthOut and NOWHERE else.]

I bought the champagne. It is on ice as I speak. Sipping a Budweiser in pre-celebration of the indictment. Monday when Rove is indicted, I open the bubbly.

[As per the Leopold & Lib lame amendment, you need to wait until Wednesday when the 24 BUSINESS hours are up.]

Jason Leopold Deserves A Pulitzer

[The Janet Cooke award for accurate reporting!]

Why isn't this being reported anywhere else? the Sunday page of the nytimes doesn't have it one it. Looking like a Twilight Zone outside
of what we've usually experienced.

[It's because you are trapped in the DUmmie Zone. And now on to Leopold & Lib's lame excuse for why NOTHING happened after 24 hours in this DUmmie THREAD titled, "I just got off the phone with Jason Leopold."]

I just got off the phone with Jason Leopold

[Stand by for an hilarious lame excuse...]

who clarified something for me that is pretty damned important. In his article, he said:

"During the course of that meeting, Fitzgerald served attorneys for former Deputy White House Chief of Staff Karl Rove with an indictment charging the embattled White House official with perjury and lying to investigators related to his role in the CIA leak case, and instructed one of the attorneys to tell Rove that he has 24 hours to get his affairs in order, high level sources with direct knowledge of the meeting said Saturday morning."

In point of fact, those 24 hours are "business hours," i.e. starting on Monday.

[In point of fact, this is the FIRST time I ever heard of someone meaning "business hours" when he said "24 hours" instead of just saying the NORMAL "3 business days." However, it does buy Leopold & Lib an extra 3 days from the Kool Aid drinkers before their final humiliation.]

"Jeez, Jason," I said, "we might want to put that into the essay. Half the planet thought 24 hours was 24 hours. They thought the deal would go down today."

["Aw Gee Whiz, Jason. Doggone it. We should have put that into the essay since half the planet thought 24 hours really means 24 hours."]

To be fair, a dozen eyes looked at that article yesterday before we published it, mine included, and none of us caught that. The word "business" has been inserted into the story after "hours" where it belongs:

[Yes. When you copied and pasted the article, the "business" part was mysteriously missing.]

So. Monday at the very earliest, but more like Tuesday or Wednesday.

[Or Thursday when you count time off for lunch on the 3 business days, oops, I mean 24 business hours.]

I'm going to go take a nap and then go get drunk with some friends tonight. Dan's brother Ken, the airline pilot and all-around wild-man, is in town for the weekend. Gonna be the Linwood Cafe, and their Mojo from the nitrogen tap, and then around again to our usual gathering spot.

[Methinks you'll need to do a lot of heavy duty drinking, Pitt, to kill the pain of the coming humiliation.]

I'd repeat everything I've said about Jason's multiple independent sources, about how the MSMs failure to pick this up sounds more like more of the same old shit than anything ominous, about how no hard paper or announcements or anything will come until, at a minimum, the government re-opens for business on Monday...but I've written it all already.

[You've already said more than enough, Will, to dig yourself into a very deep hole. And now to see Pitt drunkenly posting hours later when he finally begins confronting the humiliating reality before him in this angry THREAD posted at 2:41 this morning after a night of heavy duty self-medication.]

The site admins ought to pay me cold hard cash...for outing trolls and other f*ckshits of low mental weight.

I seem to manage to do so by accident. Just by posting. I don't mean to. See, they can lay low for everyone else. But I'm the magic man. I've got two dozen of you cowardly shitdogs out in the open now. Just by showing up. Just by doing my job.I should get combat pay. Yeah, you.

They oughta pay me for this. I out more Freepers by accident than anyone else does on purpose. Heh.

[Rough night at Bukowski's, Pitt? It will be even rougher when you sober up to REALITY. Let us look at one DUmmie's comment on Pitt's drunken rant...]

so you had those drinks huh? take some advice from a friend and sleep it off. nothing is going to be changed now by name-calling. jason leopold writes in his own book that he is a drug addict and former petty criminal, i think we deserved to have that information before his claims were trumpeted to the skies, but that's me

[And it isn't only this DUmmie who has begun to start doubting Pied Piper Pitt's dubious credibility. Even Head DUmmie SKINNER has joined the fray:]

Jason Leopold and Truthout have stuck their necks waaaaaaay out there on this one. If they end up being wrong, then they will do it spectacularly and publicly. I cannot imagine that they would stick their necks out this far unless they believed that their story was airtight. But damn, right now they are out there all alone on this one. I find it very hard not to be skeptical.

They must be sweating bullets over there at Truthout. They put it all out there. F*cking ballsy.

If they're right, they will be right spectacularly and publicly.

[I wouldn't bet the farm on the latter scenario, Skinner, as Pied Piper Pitt has foolishly done by relying on the credibility of Jason Leopold (and his own hopes).]

No Fitzmas Friday For The DUmmies

If it's Friday, it MUST be Fitzmas. Well, at least according to the DUmmies this is their LONG AWAITED Fitzmas Day in which Karl Rove would FINALLY be Frog Walked across the White House lawn. Unfortunately for the DUmmies, despite their earnest hope that the Great Pumpkin, I mean Fitzmas, would finally come today as expressed in this THREAD titled, "It Is Fiday! Is It Also Frog March Day?" it hasn't quite worked out. In fact, today marks yet ANOTHER day in which Fitzmas has Fitzled out. One is now starting to get the feeling that Patrick Fitzgerald wished that he had NEVER heard of Plamegate. Ever notice how much time he spends on other cases while pretty much steering clear of Plamegate? Most likely he realizes how RIDICULOUS it is to try to get indictments over a NON-CRIME. Fitzgerald even declines to say if a crime has been committed or not. So let us now watch as the DUmmie hopes build up over the advent of Fitzmas early this morning only to have it Fitzle out in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, enjoying a glass of Fitzmas egg nog, is in the [brackets]:

It Is Fiday! Is It Also Frog March Day?

[The only Frog that I know of that is Marching today is Jacques Chirac who Marched hip deep into a political SCANDAL.]

What Time do you all think the Rove indictment will happen? This morning or this afternoon? Or not at all?

[I would judge the latter to be a might good guestimate.]

Any point in time today will be good.

[It WILL HAPPEN when the clock strikes thirteen today.]

I fear Rove is not going to get indicted at all ...

[Your Kewpie Doll is on the way via UPS.]

The Libby indictment was at 1PM EST on a Friday.
The entire Washington press corps is on court house watch today. I might walk down there and join the stake out.

[Enjoy yourselves watching water evaporate all day.]

I wish I could go! I would love to see Fitz Live and in Person!
though I probably would faint!

[A DUmmie undergoing D-spot palpitations.]

I made a very bold statement that it would happen last week or this. My feeling all along is that it would be today.

[Is that you, JASON LEOPOLD?]

I think the paperwork would have had time to be done, and the jury to reach agreement on the number of counts with Pat. Something is brewing. The networks don't amass outside a grand jury's door without some tip off that something big is happening. I wish I knew whether they were working on it Wednesday and if Fitz was there. That would make me even more confident for today.

[Something IS brewing. Palma Luoca beer. I doubt if one in a thousand Americans ever sampled it. If you did, you would eagerly guzzle it down both for its INCREDIBLE taste and to KILL the pain of yet another stolen Fitzmas.]

JIC - Have you actually heard/seen that they are amassing?

[The asses are amassin'.]

From RawStory.... Reporters at the major cable television networks plan to be on the ground Friday outside a federal district court where the jury considering the fate of President Bush's senior adviser Karl Rove. No formal indication has been given of Rove's status, though lawyers close to the case have said his fate is likely to be determined soon. Special Counsel Patrick J. Fitzgerald, who is investigating the outing of CIA officer Valerie Plame, is scheduled to meet with the grand jury in the case Friday. The major networks plan to have reporters live on the ground, a senior reporter said.

[Reporters being paid to do NOTHING. No big surprise there.]

I think I jinxed the indictment today. I left home and forgot to pre-set my vcr to record the big event. Crap!

[OHO! NOW we know why Fitzmas was not to be today. It was all your FAULT for jinxing it.]

No no jinx. no it will happen but you won't have it recorded but there will be plenty of re-runs. I see that as a good sign.

[Since you posted that at 9:18 this morning, I have the advantage of hindsight so it is my sad duty to report to you that it WAS a jinx.]

Froggie went a-marchin' and he did ride, a-huh a-huh!

Froggie went a-marchin' and he did ride, a-huh a-huh!

Froggie went a-marchin' and he did ride,

a sword and a pistol in his side.

A-huh! A-huh a-huh!

[I know a Lutheran minister who can write BETTER songs in his sleep.]

Fitz office will announce a press conference in advance. When Libby was indicted, in the morning, they announced a press conference would happen at 2pm. As of this minute, they have not announced a press conference.

[Could it also be because they have not announced Fitzmas?]

I'm beginning to think it will never happen.

[Sorry. I'm all out of my quota of Kewpie Dolls for this thread.]

Grand Jury meets at 9:30 am Eastern time. I can wait.....

[...said the DUmmie almost 10 hours ago.]

It will be interesting to see if the cable news outlets actually cover the courthouse today as it was speculated yesterday. If they send their crews they'll want some sort of video to make it worth having one...

[It looks like they will have to use stock footage of water evaporating.]

I am of the understanding that they are at the federal courthouse right now trying to get the scoop...

[BREAKING SCOOP!!! Moisture in front of the courthouse converts into gaseous matter!]

Maybe it will happen Sunday, maybe Monday, maybe not... Still it's sure to happen one day, Maybe Tuesday will be our Good News Day...

[Or maybe it will happen on the day the Great Pumpkin appears or maybe not.]

I wish someone would leak something. Shit!

[Nope, it wasn't a Number One. Like you said, it was a Number Two.]

This wait is agony. Will it ever happen? Sheeezus!

["There he is! There he is! It's the Great Pumpkin! He's rising out of the pumpkin patch!"]

DUmmies Continue Slamming Richard Cohen

I once knew this woman who was a Democrat. She was a Democrat all her life mainly because by deeply ingrained definition, "Democrats are right and Republicans are wrong." I know just where she was coming from. After all, at the age of eight I asked my Dad what all this talk about "parties" were that I was hearing on the radio. I figured there were some fun parties like birthday parties that I was missing out on. My father then informed me that the parties were political parties and then explained the difference between the parties thusly: "Democrats are for the poor and working people and the Republicans are for the rich and greedy people." Yes, the explanation was simplistic but it became so deeply ingrained into my psyche that it took years to remove (ironically enough the change began when I asked my father for a recommendation on a good book to read and he suggested "Witness" by Whittaker Chambers). Anyway, this woman was in the same Democrats/Good, Republicans/Bad frame of mind that I used to be in so when I told her about what the Democrats are actually SAYING among themselves in DUmmieland, she refused to believe me and suggested that I was exaggerating. Therefore I gave her the URL of the DUmmie FUnnies and asked her to take a look for herself. About a week later, I ran into the woman again and she was quite shaken up at what she read. Up until then she bought into the idea that it was the EVIL Rightwingers who were the crazies and the warm fuzzy Liberals who were the rational ones and these DUmmie FUnnies certainly shook up that belief.

I mention this story because I believe that Richard Cohen is in a similar situation. For years, Cohen has believed in the rationality of the Left and now he is confronted by just how loony those folks REALLY are. The catalyst for this discovery was his comment that Stephen Colbert just wasn't funny at the recent presidential Roast. For this "high crime," Cohen got lambasted and was on the receiving end of a long pompous LECTURE by Pied Piper Pitt. Hey! Welcome to the REAL WORLD, Richard! You are now discovering just how IRRATIONAL the Left REALLY is. Oh, I am sure you will remain a good Liberal like before but at least you will have been made more aware of political realities by your experience with the DUmmies. And speaking of the DUmmies, they just can't stop slamming Cohen as you can see in this THREAD titled, "If you read Richard Cohen today and feel bad for him... Read this." But wait, there's MORE! Since the DUmmies just can't get enough of slamming Cohen for his Colbert criticism "heresy," there is also another Cohen bashing THREAD titled, "Richard Cohen taunted posters at thankyoustephencolbert.com." So let us now watch the DUmmies pile on Richard Cohen for his "heresy" in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, recommending "Witness" to Richard Cohen, is in the [brackets]:

If you read Richard Cohen today and feel bad for him... Read this.

[GASP! Cohen remains UNREPENTANT over criticizing Colbert's comedy. This MUST NOT BE TOLERATED!!!]

Not likely anyone feels bad for Cohen anymore, but just in case someone does fall for his tears in today's column (sample: "All in all, I was -- I am, and I guess I remain -- the worthy object of ignorant, false and downright idiotic vituperation."), it's worthwhile to read this article by Digby from last August, when he was off on another "self-hating liberal" tangent:

["Ignorant, false and downright idiotic vituperation" is actually an ACCURATE description of the rantings common in DUmmieland.]

I've written a lot about Richard Cohen over the years because I think he is a large part of what ails our side in this political/civil war. The liberal elite pundits, whom everyone assumes speak for "reasonable Democrats" are the first link in a chain that defines Democrats as being without conviction or belief. Democratic politicians, the media and the strategists take cues from their positions as to what constitues the "correct" liberal position. And it's killing us.

[It's killing you. A Liberal who doesn't swallow every last drop of the Far Left Kool-Aid.]

Richard Cohen is the poster boy for this destructive effete punditry. His claim yesterday that the Plame investigation was "not a major story. It's a crappy little crime and it may not be a crime at all," is just the latest in a long line of cocktail party bon mots that seem almost designed to ruin any chances the Democrats have of making headway in the media. Perhaps there is no better example, however, than this one from November 2000:

[It isn't even a "crappy little crime." Plame hasn't been a covert CIA agent in years so revealing her name is no more a crime than saying that Joe Smith works at Mickey D's.]

"Given the present bitterness, given the angry irresponsible charges being hurled by both camps, the nation will be in dire need of a conciliator, a likable guy who will make things better and not worse. That man is not Al Gore. That man is George W. Bush."

[AGGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!! Send Cohen to Room 101 NOW!!!!]

At precisely the wrong moment, Cohen made precisely the wrong argument. It is his very special gift. The Republicans can always count on Cohen to give the respectable liberal view that Republicans are really the good guys and prove to everyone else that Democrats are a bunch of wimps.

[I hereby accuse Richard Cohen of briefly harboring a Thought Crime.]

I hasten to add that Cohen is entitled to his half-baked, lame-assed opinions. I strongly encourage anyone who is enraged with the twit to turn your anger toward other more truly worthy targets and put your vitriol to more productive uses.

[Don't worry. They WON'T as we shall see...]

What, did he crib his Plame NONSTORY notes from John Fund??
All of the apologists seem to be DESPERATELY trying to shop that theme about town.

[No. He cribbed it from the actual law.]

Poor Richard, pulling down a hefty six figure salary, guest spots on the "important" talk shows, and invitations to all the finest cocktail parties, and the hoi polloi insist on seeing him as a sell-out and a charlatan.

[Pied Piper Pitt is drooling for that opportunity. And, hey, no problem with being a sell-out and a charlatan. Pitt was fired by the Kucinich campaign when he betrayed his trust as the Press Secretary for the Evil Elf to secretly feed info to the Kerry campaign.]

The left columnists are more into being clever and original and refuse to be part of a message machine. That's fine for 3 yrs, but during the general election year timeframe they should leave egos behind and FORCEFEED the voters the TRUTH they need to hear and do it FROM THE SAME PAGE!

[GroupThink must be ENFORCED!]

Cohen was taunting people on the thankyoustephencolbert site
I was reading some of the messages that were posted and he started spamming and arguing points. He was not leaving thank you notes but challenges, along with his email address. That is the only way he'd get 3500 emails. Hell, I wrote him one. Never paid any attention to him before and I am done with him now.

[My respect for Cohen just climbed a little higher even though he remains a Liberal. We'll get to those Cohen "taunts" later in this DUFU.]

Okay, he really needs to be called on this.
I know it looks like I'm contradicting my concluding reamrk in the OP, but it boils my blood to think he's trying to pass himself off as a passive victim of the left's ire for merely having an opinion.

[Pass himself off as a passive victim? You folks are doing a mighty fine job of victimizing Cohen.]

Those aren't his posts. Someone else was cutting and pasting
his Colbert-reaction column. This is so obvious.

[What? A leftwinger is committing FORGERY? Whoever suspected such a nefarious deed from the Left? and now on to the mis-titled Richard Cohen taunted posters at thankyoustephencolbert.com.]

Richard Cohen taunted posters at thankyoustephencolbert.com

[As has already pointed out, this is a LIE. One of your OWN leftists copied and pasted Cohen's quotes into that forum.]

Why did Cohen receive 3,500 angry emails?

[Because DUmmies can't tolerate any kind of heresy whatever.]

He forgot to mention in today's column "Digital lynch mob" that he was taunting the folks (now numbering more than 54,000) who wanted to give a "thank you" to Stephen Colbert at the website www.thankyoustephencolbert.org .

[DUmmie MISINFORMATION at its finest. Some leftie kook (which could be ANYONE in DUmmieland) copied and pasted Cohen's WaPo comments into that forum.]

"Some people" might view that as a cheap way to get grist for his latest column taking potshots at "the angry left."

[More accurately: "Some people" might view that as a cheap way to make people think that Cohen gives a crap what the "the angry left" thinks.]

Here are his posts:

[Here are the Leftist impersonator's posts:]

Name: Richard Cohen IP: xx.x.xxx.x

Colbert was not just a failure as a comedian but rude. Rude is not the same as brash. It is not the same as brassy. It is not the same as gutsy or thinking outside the box. Rudeness means taking advantage of the other person’s sense of decorum or tradition or civility that keeps that other person from striking back or, worse, rising in a huff and leaving. The other night, that person was George W. Bush.

Richard Cohen, Columnist - Posted May 4, 10:00 AM

Name: Richard Cohen IP: xx.x.xxx.x

In this country, anyone can insult the president of the United States. Colbert just did it, and he will not suffer any consequence at all. He knew that going in. He also knew that Bush would have to sit there and pretend to laugh at Colbert’s lame and insulting jokes. Bush himself plays off his reputation as a dunce and his penchant for mangling English. Self-mockery can be funny. Mockery that is insulting is not. The sort of stuff that would get you punched in a bar can be said on a dais with impunity. This is why Colbert was more than rude. He was a bully.

Richard Cohen, Washington Post Columnist - Posted May 4, 10:06 AM

Name: Richard Cohen IP: xx.x.xxx.x

On television, Colbert is often funny. But on his own show he appeals to a self-selected audience that reminds him often of his greatness. In Washington he was playing to a different crowd, and he failed dismally in the funny person’s most solemn obligation: to use absurdity or contrast or hyperbole to elucidate — to make people see things a little bit differently. He had a chance to tell the president and much of important (and self-important) Washington things it would have been good for them to hear. But he was, like much of the blogosphere itself, telling like-minded people what they already know and alienating all the others. In this sense, he was a man for our times.

He also wasn’t funny.

Richard Cohen, Washington Post Columnist

[So when do you folks get around to APOLOGIZING to Richard Cohen for making it seem that he posted his WaPo comments in that stupid forum? Somehow I think it will be a long wait.]

He even included his e-mail address to make it as easy as possible to be roasted.

[Yes. The loony Left IMPERSONATOR did leave Cohen's e-mail address. He didn't have the guts to leave his own: LeftyLoonie@DUmmieland.Com.]

was it really him? Anyone can leave a post there under any name

[And this DUmmie wins a Kewpie Doll for having a brief moment of mental clarity!]

It's his e-mail address, and his attitude.
I think it's him.

[Yeah. It would be IMPOSSIBLE to copy paste his e-mail address and comments from the Washington Post.]

Whoever posted that used chunks of Cohen's article whole. I don't think it was Cohen.

[Sorry. We already gave out our ration of Kewpie Dolls for having a brief moment of mental clarity in this thread.]

Yep, I think it was just someone (not Cohen) trying to be funny.

[Funny forgery.]

I doubt it's him. Those are quotes from his WaPo column
They are chunks of his latest column. I think some punk copy-and-pasted that to be funny. Plus, if you check the www.thankyoustephencolbert.org, the signatures are not secure. Anyone can post anything, email or not. You can sign as the queen of England there. Nobody cares. Please people, use you head. Measure.

[However, Mary Mapes has verified that it really is an authentic post by Richard Cohen.]

I'm amazed that Cohen would go out and bait people to get those sort of responses. I always thought he invented them. Guess he's lazier than I thought.

[Actually you are STUPIDER than you thought since you were too dumb to understand the posts about the FORGERY.]

"An Open Letter to Richard Cohen"---Pied Piper Pitt

On April 29, Pied Piper Pitt bid FAREWELL to DUmmieland and in TYPICAL form returned less than a week later. One would think that Pitt would at least keep a low profile for awhile due to his embarrassing backtrack but NO, he is back with his typical unintentionally comedic bloated grandstanding style. Pitt apparently decided to jump onto the Colbert bandwagon and attempt to ride on his popularity with the DUmmies by posting this melodramatic hyperbole-laden THREAD titled, "An Open Letter to Richard Cohen." And what was Richard Cohen's great "crime" that he is now on the receiving end of a Pitt castigation? He dared to suggest that Colbert, who got few laughs at the recent press roast of Bush, was...not funny. For that high crime, Cohen was on the receiving end of a ton of DUmmie inspired HATE MAIL. For Cohen this was a shock but it is not really a surprise for the readers of the DUmmie FUnnies who are all too familiar with the self-defeating Moonbat attitudes of the DUmmies. So now Pied Piper Pitt has stepped up to the plate, basking in the limelight, as he continues the DUmmie attack on Cohen which really translates into a message of "NOTICE MEEEE!!!!!" And he especially wants to be noticed by Mama T's Boy Toy with whom he wishes to get a PAYING campaign job. So I will now do Pitt a favor by noticing his comic antics in melodramatic Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent who thinks that Pitt's unintentional humor is much FUnnier than Colbert's, in in the [brackets]:

An Open Letter to Richard Cohen

[An Open Grandstand to Richard Cohen]

Greetings! I was inspired to write you after reading your missive in today's Post regarding all the nasty emails you have received of late. Personally, I found Colbert's performance hilarious and timely, the kind of satirical backhand so desperately needed these days. I don't begrudge you your opinion that he wasn't funny, and I agree with your belief that it wasn't your opinion on his performance that motivated such an angry response.

[Greetings! I was inspired to write you after finding out how much interest there was in attacking you. I decided to hop on the bandwagon and grab some of the limelight for myself.]

It wasn't. You yourself nailed the reason: "Institution after institution failed America -- the presidency, Congress and the press. They all endorsed a war to rid Iraq of what it did not have."

[Earth to Pitt: The guy you are trying to impress so you can scam a PAYING campaign job, Mama T's Boy Toy, also ENDORSED that war.]

The fact that your Colbert commentary became the flint against this rock doesn't mean that Colbert or your opinion of him are to blame for the resulting firestorm. The fact is that people are angry - brain-boilingly, apoplectically, mind-bendingly so - at what has happened to this great country. I am, quite often, so angry that my hands shake. Yes, a former high school teacher from New England here, so filled with bile and rage that I sometimes don't recognize my face in the mirror.

[Those shaking hands of yours and the inability to recognize your pasty face in the mirror is the result of consuming too many liquid refreshments at Bukowski's.]

You, sir, should not be asking why so many of your email friends are so angry. You should be asking why you yourself are not with them in their rage. I have admired a number of your articles over these last years, and know that you are no fool regarding our situation in Iraq and here at home. It isn't your grasp of the issues that concerns me, but the absence of outrage. Do you really care about the things you write about, or is all this merely grist for the mill that provides you a paycheck?

[And I bet that Richard Cohen will admire your comedic articles, especially the one about THE THIRD AMERICAN EMPIRE in which you compare America to the Third Reich.]

"I have seen this anger before," you wrote, "back in the Vietnam War era." No, sir, you have not.

[Who do you believe, Richard Cohen? Your lyin' eyes or Pied Piper Pitt's pompous pontifications?]

You hearken back to rock-throwing days in Vietnam, and lament hatred and rage. But you do not see that those days are quaint by comparison given our current geopolitical situation. Johnson and Nixon, whatever else their faults may have been, were internationalists who understood the need for connection to the wider world. The war in Vietnam, barbaric as it was, did not inspire tens of thousands of Vietnamese to join martyr's brigades. It did not threaten to unleash chaos in a part of the world that holds the economic lifeblood of our whole existence. It did not threaten to shake loose nuclear weapons from quasi-rogue states like Pakistan.

[Let's not blame the crazed Islamo-Fascists for their own terrorism. It's BUSH'S FAULT!!!]

You speak of the angry mob because you got slapped around via email, but your characterization of the anti-war crowd tells me you have not spent a single moment out in the streets with them. I have. I have covered dozens of protests, large and small, in cities all across this country before and after the invasion of Iraq. Millions upon millions of Americans participated in these, and never once, not one time, was a rock thrown.

[Notice to Richard Cohen: This is actually the MOST IMPORTANT part of Pied Piper Pitt's spiel. It is the all-important "NOTICE ME!!!" where Pitt puffs himself up. However a bit of a fact check here. Pitt went down to Texas (where he got eaten alive by fire ants for stupidly wearing shorts and sandals outside) to supposedly spend time in the ditch with Cindy Sheehan. In reality, it was just a publicity drive-by where Pitt spent his night at motel with A/C. After about 36 hours of garnering PUBLICITY for himself by glomming onto to Sheehan's star, Pitt split. It is interesting that Pitt is uncharacteriscally modest about mentioning that he was one of the main organizers for a DEMONSTRATION last September in Washington, D.C. because it turned into a complete DISASTER. (Note: Pied Piper Pitt never EVER had any contact whatsoever with the Communist A.N.S.W.E.R. sponsors of that demonstration even though his PDA organization worked closely with them. Pitt maintained his purity by hermetically sealing himself off in a giant body condom so as to avoid infection from those deadly A.N.S.W.E.R. microbes.)]

No violence was offered anywhere, unless it was violence offered to old ladies by riot-garbed police, as was evidenced in Portland several years ago. I have the photographs to prove it. If you want to see anger, enjoy this picture of a 60-year-old woman holding an anti-war sign while being placed in a hammer-lock by a riot cop:

[Do you also have pics of the "non-violent" Seattle protestors from several years ago.]

"The hatred is back," you say, as if such hatred is beyond justification. It is interesting that you make so many allusions to Vietnam; the comparison is apt, yet not on point. This is not a situation of "Then" and "Now," but "Then" and "Again." The two issues are joined by a common theme: official malfeasance, presidential lies, administrative fear-mongering and horrific body counts in a faraway land. The lesson of Vietnam was so searing, many believed, that it would never have to be learned again.

[How about the allusions you made comparing the USA to the Third Reich?]

Why the anger? Because that lesson didn't take, at least with this crowd. Why the anger? Because millions of people are staggered by the idea that, yes Virginia, we have to go through this again. We have to watch soldiers slaughter and be slaughtered for reasons that bear no markings of truth. We have to watch the reputation of this great nation be savaged. We have to watch as our leaders lie to us with their bare faces hanging out.

[This from Pitt who changes his mind every few minutes. Was your announcement to leave DUmmieland a lie or merely another recantation on your part?]

Why the anger? It can be summed up in one run-on sentence: We have lost two towers in New York, a part of the Pentagon, an important American city called New Orleans, our economic solvency, our global reputation, our moral authority, our children's future, we have lost tens of thousands of American soldiers to death and grievous injury, we must endure the Abramoffs and the Cunninghams and the Libbys and the whores and the bribes and the utter corruption, we must contemplate the staggering depth of the hole we have been hurled down into, and we expect little to no help from the mainstream DC press, whose lazy go-along-to-get-along cocktail-circuit mentality allowed so much of this to happen because they failed comprehensively to do their job.

[Here is where Pitt slyly tries to lay blame for 9/11 on Bush without coming right out and publicly endorsing the loony MIHOP/IHOP conspiracy theories so prevelant in DUmmieland.]

George W. Bush and his pals used September 11th against the American people, used perhaps the most horrific day in our collective history, deliberately and with intent, to foster a war of choice that has killed untold tens of thousands of human beings and basically bankrupted our country. They lied about the threat posed by Iraq. They destroyed the career of a CIA agent who was tasked to keep an eye on Iran's nuclear ambitions, and did so to exact petty political revenge against a critic. They tortured people, and spied on American civilians.

[Pied Piper's HATE for Bush almost matches the HATE that Pitt expressed in this SMEAR of Ronald Reagan in which he included a ballad making fun of Reagan's Alzheimer's disease.]

Nah. There's nothing to get angry about here.

[Such as your SMEAR of Ronald Reagan?]

I wrote a book called "War on Iraq" in the summer of 2002. That book stated there were no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, no al Qaeda connections in Iraq, no connections to 9/11 in Iraq, and thus no reason for the invasion of Iraq. It is now almost the summer of 2006. That book was right then, and is right now, and the millions of Americans who agree with the facts contained therein have shared these four years with me in a state of disbelief, shock, sorrow and yes, anger. None of this had to happen, and the fact that it was allowed to happen inspires the kind of vitriol you got a taste of via email.

[Pitt here not-so-modestly neglects to mention the co-author of that book, Scott Ritter, perhaps because Ritter's ESCAPADES with school girls hit a little too close to home.]

If you want anger, you should try reading some of the emails I get on a weekly basis. The mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, wives, husbands and children of American soldiers killed in Iraq write to me asking why it happened, what can be done, how is this possible. They write to me because I wrote that book, because somehow they think I have an answer to that bottomless question.

[Pitt here creating the ILLUSION that his book is somehow widely read. Oh, and he isn't even close to stepping off his grandstand.]

I am sorry you were so wounded by the messages you received. I wish that hadn't happened; I am personally from the more-flies-with-honey school of journalistic correspondence. But in the end, truth be told, I don't feel too badly for you. It isn't an excess of outrage that plagues this nation today, but an abject lack of it. Instead of castigating those who take an interest, who have gotten justifiably furious over all that has happened, I suggest you take a moment within yourself and ask why you don't share their feelings.

[By now, just about everybody has forgotten that this whole filibuster is supposedly over Cohen's criticism of Colbert's comedy as Pitt continues with his endless cyberspace La Passionara shtick.]

This isn't Vietnam, Mr. Cohen. This is a whole new ballgame, and the stakes are higher by orders of magnitude. It took almost ten years of Vietnam for people to reach the boiling point you are so apparently horrified by (and worthy of note, that rage may have elected Nixon, but also served to stop the killing in Southeast Asia). Should those of us who are angry today wait until 2013 to raise hell?

[Oh go ahead and scream, "NO PASARÁN!" Do it, Pitt! Do it! DO IT! NO PASARÁN!!!]

At a minimum, I suggest you head down to your local hardware store and buy a few sheets of 40-grit sandpaper. Apply it liberally - pardon the pun - to any and all parts of your body that may be exposed to the scary anger of the anti-war Left. Toughen up that hide of yours, and greet the coming days with a leathery mien impervious to a few angry emails.

[I recommend that Richard Cohen tell the arrogant self-righteous Pitt to stick that sandpaper someplace where the moon don't shine.]

Afterwards, you could perhaps figure out why the anger of those who see this war as a crime and this administration as a disaster is so terribly threatening to you. Anger is a gift, after all, one that inspires change. If you don't think we need a change, real change, I can only shake my head.

["See that hoier-than-thou chip on my shoulder? Knock it off! I dare ya!" And now that that grandstanding speech has FINALLY ended, on to the other DUmmie rantings.]

Wonderful letter. I hope he reads it and understands...

[Wonderful letter. I hope he reads it and understands that we are morally SUPERIOR to him.]

My hands shake with anger, too.

[Try getting off the bandwagon and just get on the wagon.]

How do we know for sure Richard C. will see and read this? He absolutely must read it, and I hope it shames him.

[We won't be satisfied until Richard Cohen presents himself at the gates of DUmmieland, drops to his knees and hangs his head in shame while begging forgiveness of us.]

Cohen is a collaborator

[Hey, according to Pitt we are in the middle of the Third American Reich, oops I mean Empire, aren't we?]

Let us retract the foreskin of confusion and apply the wire brush of enlightenment.

[I don't don't know whether to circumscribe or circumcise that statement.]

I date my anger from that December, 2000, decision of the US Supreme Court. It's just been piling on ever since that day.

[So can we know set the date for your institutionalization?]

Yeah, many of us are angry.Damn angry. I am trying to channel my anger into productive, positive action.

[Like smashing your fingers against your keyboard 24/7.]

Do people like Mr. Cohen live in a bubble, cut off from the reality that the average person lives and breathes? That's what it feels like to me when I read some of his remarks -- that he must live in a completely different world than the one I inhabit.

[Thus spaketh an inmate from the bubble asylum known as DUmmieland.]

Wait for the final which I will post soon; I made some changes to this text above.

[The first overlong self-serving grandstand wasn't long enough for Pied Piper Pitt. He now promises us an addendum to his pomposity. So let us now take a look at it HERE.]

P.S. Another reason for the anger you have absorbed can be laid, frankly, at your own feet. There are enough of us around who can still remember your words from November of 2000: "Given the present bitterness, given the angry irresponsible charges being hurled by both camps, the nation will be in dire need of a conciliator, a likable guy who will make things better and not worse. That man is not Al Gore. That man is George W. Bush."

[GASP! Richard Cohen actually wrote something FAVORABLE about Bush! That settles it! Cohen is SATAN!]

Locate a mirror, Mr. Cohen. Stare deep within it. Know full well that today, and tomorrow, and tomorrow, will recast all your yesterdays as having passed like a comforting dream. Your ability to remain within the safe bubble of the beltway clubhouse, drifting this way and that in some meandering, rudderless fog, has ended. Al Gore invented the internet, or so we are told, and some bright-eyed editor decided to staple your email address to the bottom of your works. Welcome to the age of electronic accountability.

[Welcome to the age of electronic self-righteousness (and Pied Piper Pitt Grandstanding).]

The coda reminding Cohen of his own history was an
inspired addition to an already excellent article. Please keep us posted on his response, crickets and all.

[At the DUmmie FUnnies we already have a LONG HISTORY of Pied Piper Pitt's bloviating antics.]

He wrote that Colbert was rude to use that forum. What forum are critics of Bush supposed to use?

[Oh, let's see....NPR, ABC, NBC, CBS, MSNBC, New York Times, West Wing, Boston Public, PBS, etc., etc....]

I was going to ask if it will be sent to Mr. Cohen, but I saw upthread that Jacobin will be sending it to him. He needs some educating.

[The proper leftist/Jacobin term is "re-educating."]

We should all send Cohen Will's letter with the subject title: Read Will Pitt

[Is that you, Will Pitt?]

Sometimes I get so angry I'm incoherent

[Only sometimes?]

Will, When will they start listening to people like you?

[When they break through the time/space dimensional barrier and enter the Alternate Universe.]

Only you and Mike Malloy have the ability to channel my rage...

[Try Art Bell. He's good at channeling.]

"U.S. Military Coup happened today"

Did you know that we had a military coup last Friday? If you blinked your eyes you might have missed it. However, DUmmie LeftHander was perceptive enough to spot that elusive military coup as you can see in his THREAD titled, "U.S. Military Coup happened today - BushCo is Toast." I made fun of DUmmie Steve2470 for merely speculating, Would the military intervene to save us? DUmmie LeftHander has gone him one further by stating that the military coup has already happened but we just didn't notice it. Upon what does DUmmie LeftHander base his premise of an invisible military coup? Amazingly he speculates that it happened in large part because Jeff Gannon came out of the closet last week. Yeah, and I guess if Mr. Slave on South Park has a sex change operation that will mean that the military has invaded Canada although nobody but DUmmie LeftHander would have noticed it. More than likely DUmmie LeftHander's hyperactive imagination ran away with him when he rented the "Seven Days In May" DVD and noticed that the calendar said it was May. BINGO! He put two and two together and came up with seven as in "Seven Days In May" which means we MUST have had a military coup, unnoticed by anybody except him. So let us now enjoy the comedic entertainment of DUmmie LeftHander making the case out of nothing that we really really did have a military coup in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, trying to picture General Hayden as James Mattoon Scott, is in the [brackets]:

U.S. Military Coup happened today - BushCo is Toast

[The military coup happened so fast that only DUmmie LeftHander noticed it.]

No mistake about it.

[If you say so, it MUST have happened. Continue with the laugh lines.]

The U.S. Military just put the skids on BushCo. the dots....connect them....

[I've connected the dots and it shows the outline of your empty skull.]

Gannon comes out as gay and a gay escort.

[So if Barney Frank goes straight, would that mean the coup attempt has failed?]

Goss resigns.

The FBI investigating a Watergate Sex scandal.

Cheney threatens Russia.

[We stand by in awe as DUmmie LeftHander proceeds to list and connect the dots...]

Condi, MSM have been shilling for Iran military resolution.

Multiple retired generals still alive criticize BushCo.

BushCo blatently challenging the constitution with sigining statements, torture and NSA spying.

["Facts, Hercule, facts, behind them lays the whole fabric of deductive truth. Now, Hercule let us examine these facts..."]

Too much for some of the JTS. (Joint Chiefs of Staff)

[Here they come to save the day!]

The U.S. military has officially stop obeying the Bush administration. Just as he divided the American public so too has he divided the Military leadership. We are all cut of the same cloth.

["And if you want to talk about your oath of office, I'm here to tell you face to face, President Lyman, that you violated that oath when you stripped this country of its muscles - when you deliberately played upon the fear and fatigue of the people and told them they could remove that fear by the stroke of a pen. And then when this nation rejected you, lost faith in you, and began militantly to oppose you, you violated that oath by not resigning from office and turning the country over to someone who could represent the people of the United States."]

No need to freak out. We all know where the real power is. It is the U.S. Military and it is is dysfunctional at best but it knows where it's true alligence lays. The Constitution.

[True. Article 69 of the Constitution provides for a military coup when the DUmmies get upset.]

It was only a matter of time before the right promises and threats were made.

["If you military people overthrow the evil Bush regime, we DUmmies promise that we won't treat you like dirt for one day per year."]

Make no mistake. There are some high ranking military types that will no doubt people will turn up dead....This will be the sign that the Military took the advice of DU and choose the side of preserving the constitution over protecting the interests of the robber barons.

[Yes, the military closely monitors DUmmieland for inspirational reasons, not low comedy.]

There were direct statements on this board that discussed the role and responsibility of the military in preserving the constitution of these United States. We've have been heard. And we should be glad. The last thing anyone wants is a popular revolt, where the military is called in to kill citizens. That is where we were heading. Clearer heads have prevailed and BushCo is finished.

[Isn't it wonderful! We just had a military coup that no one noticed!]

The military code puts the constitution first before obeying the President. They could always play that card with GW.

[Follow the constitution by staging an unconstitutional military coup. DUmmie reasoning at its finest...and FUnniest.]

They just did, today May 5th 2006.

[Sorry. I blinked that day so I didn't notice.]

A democracy is only as stong as the loyalty of the military to it's constitution. Thank the troops and our dedicated military leaders to recognize that BushCo were liars and thieves set to demolish America.

[Please thank the troops for the military coup that no one noticed. And now on to more comedy from the other DUmmies...]

Huh-wah? What military coup? Link??

[Huh-wah? What military coup? If you send me the link then that will confirm it happened even though I didn't see anything about it in the news.]

What exactly are you talking about? Nero and his cronies are still in power. Let me know when Army tanks are parked on the White House lawn, and then we can talk coup.

[Don't worry. As soon as DUmmie LeftHander can send the link then that will PROVE it happened despite total lack of news coverage of this momentous event.]

Give me a break...there is no way the perception of a coup would be allowed to happen.

[Oh, I see, DUmmie LeftHander. The military coup actually happened. It's just the PERCEPTION of it that didn't happen.]

What did I miss?

[The military coup. It REALLY happened. However, because the PERCEPTION of the military coup wasn't allowed, you missed seeing it.]

guess i am not able to connect these dots!!

[The dots run from Jeff Gannon's closet all the way to DUmmie LeftHander's empty skull with a pitstop in the Twilight Zone.]

You lost me... what are you referring to that happened today?

[A military coup, oh, and the earth torn apart by a giant meteor impact. Now go back to sleep.]

Here let me explain... Gannon gained his stature and access to the WHite House by having dirt on congress and others for the Watergate prostitution scandal now being investigated by the FBI.

Gannon admits that he is gay today and thus validates all the specualtion about his placement in the WH press.

Scotty has resigned....I conclude Scotty knew a lot about gannon.

The Watergate "Duke" sex for influence scandal reaches way back when Gannon was a gay escort for hire. He was hired.

this is the "ace in the hole"....the Military went along with BushCo for as long as it did taking a wait and see attitude. Many in the Military higher ups were bought and sold on BushCo. Many weren't. It was this battle that waged and Bush lost himselft by allowing Cheney too much leverage. Bush being the shallow idealistic frat boy was drunk with the power of being President. But it was Dick that has long been the dangerous one. Even G HW Bush could not predict Cheney's ambition.

The basic fact is...the GOP....the NeoCons are emasculated. The presidency is now under control of the Military....they have the best interest of preseving this nation and they will do so.

[Thanx for connecting all those dots, DUmmie LeftHander, while providing the bellylaughs.]

Perhaps I missed something

[I think it's called "sanity."]

This is not specualtion....but logical conclusion....
How does a known male escort, former military, gain access to the White House? DU has always been about connecting the dots and we've been right time and time again. It doesn;t matter what you think happened. In the end...The democrats are taking charge this Novemeber. Bush is emacualted. The GOP in congress is going to be mostly in jail.... that is the outcome of this bloodless coup.

[DUmmie LeftHander elaborating on the dot connecting of a military coup that no one but him knows has happened.]

I'm wondering if you have some inside info, but I must admit that deep in my heart I've wished for something like this since well about 2002. I've thought surely there must be someone(s) out there doing some planning to do SOMETHING to stop this march to hell the neocons have been leading. I hope, pray, wish, and yearn for what you say to be true.

[Yes, Dorothy. Just close your eyes, lean back, and click your heels together three times while repeating: "I WISH there will be a military coup! I WISH there will be a military coup! I WISH there will be a military coup!"]

Most of our military doesn't even know what the Constitution is. And for sure they haven't read it and if they did 70% would not understand it.

[Great! You WISH for the military to save you via a coup while at the same time mocking them for being almost illiterate. For this you win the DUmmie Diplomacy Award.]

We were in a constitutional crisis.

America was at the brink of becoming a fascist single party state. Only the Military stood in the way. And Bush and Rumsfeld tried very hard to ensure that they could control all layers of the military.

the thing they did not understand and I think that many do not understand is that the military mind is duty and honor bound. And that duty is first to uphold the constituition. thankfully even our founding fathers recognized this and made sure that the military was bound not to an individual but and idea....

it took a while for this to sink in. Because BushCo has been as effective on the Military as they were on the media and the public. Rumsfeld and Cheney were both long time military cilvilian leaders and understood how to manipulate it. What they did not figure is that ultiamtely the military if beholden to the constituton first not the Presidency. Breaking the chain of command in the military is not easy.

But it was done today.

[Are you connecting the dots, DUmmie LeftHander, or presenting a movie pitch for "V for Vendetta II"?]

Rawstory had a Gannon story today but their site is down right now, so I can't link it.

[Hurry up and link it so I can BEEEEEELEEEEEVE we had a military coup!]

This is the most fascinating and unnerving thread I've ever read on DU.

[Or the most surrealistically HILARIOUS thread.]

Either pass that pipe....
or put it down and back away....slowly.

[Taking a hit on the crack pipe certainly does help in connecting the dots.]

Locking....
This is very speculative. Please
feel free to repost when you have
a link from a reputable source.

[Locking.... This thread is leaving DUmmieland wide open for yet another satirical edition of the DUmmie FUnnies making us all look like complete fools. Please feel free to repost when you have achieved a modest level of sanity.]

DUmmie Teeniebopper Explodes In Narcissistic "Hate The World" Rant

Okay. You probably figure from the title of my thread that I am exaggerating the rant by 14 year old DUmmie Teeniebopper, WritingIsMyReligion. Actually her own THREAD title is far worse: "Geesum...I So F*cking Hate the World Right Now! (LONG Rant)." This thread is one long self-centered screech of anger on the part of DUmmie WritingIsMyReligion about the world not paying enough attention to her. But is her extreme level of narcissism any surprise in DUmmieland? Just recently, Pied Piper Pitt made a dramatic ANNOUNCEMENT that he was leaving DUmmieland only to RETURN less than a week later. What next for Pitt? A melodramatic announcement that he is scratching the itch on his butt or that he is busy contemplating his own navel. Actually Pitt is CONSTANTLY posting some version of the latter routine. But enough about Pitt (although he never gets enough of himself) and let us now watch the amazing self-centered thread of DUmmie WritingIsMyReligion posted in narcissistic Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, peering into the Center of the Universe In Her Own Mind, is in the [brackets]:

Geesum...I So F*cking Hate the World Right Now! (LONG Rant)

[Because the whole world doesn't pay enough attention to MEEEEEEEEE!!!!]

First, there are the parents of mine who talk business 24/7 and SCREAM at each other right in front of me--they're arguing over f*cking cars. Like I give a damn about your problems!

[Perhaps you would prefer to WALK everywhere, DUmmie WritingIsMyReligion, because your folks didn't care enough to buy a car. Do they also argue about finances? Because without money you wouldn't have the idle time to gaze at your precious self in the mirror.]

Oh, and speaking of parents--did I mention that my mom refuses to accept the fact that I despise her organized religion? "You're only fourteen; you can't possibly know what you believe." So I can't possibly know anything about what I think, but you can? You talk like a FReep, Mom.

["Hi Mom! I expect you to quietly accept the fact that I SPIT on your lousy religion. You must remain humbly silent while I constantly mock your religious beliefs. How dare you put God above the most important thing in the universe?---MEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!"]

Then there's the whole f*cking school. Asinine, every f*cking second of it--stupid bastard administrators who don't care that their "honors" system is a corrupt pool of shite mascarading as a "rigorous curriculum." There actually was a guidance counselor--mine, of course --who said that, "Gifted children don't need to be taught any differently from other children."

["Stupid damn administrators who won't treat gifted children like MEEEEEEE as something special."]

Excuse me? I'm dying here because your fucking school administration refuses to admit it has problems, and you say I'm just fine sitting with the most unmotivated slobs--who are only in "honors" classes because of their jumped-up fucking parents who insisted that their children were genii--and considering running off to some school system where I can actually get an education?? I got a 720 out of 800 on the verbal section of the "old" SAT (when there were just two sections, math and verbal) as a f*cking eighth-grader, which is better than ninety-seven percent of college-bound seniors, for f*ck's sake! I should not be complaining about how f*cked up school is! YOU SHOULD BE HELPING ME, YOU BASTARDS, NOT WORRYING ABOUT GWB'S F*CKED-UP "NCLB"--which, incidentally, leaves the nation's best and brightest behind. Good f*cking legistlation, you murdering, thieving ignoramuses who call yourselves "legislators."

["DISSSSSGUSTING! I am forced to sit with ORDINARY students who are far below my high intellectual and moral plane. Damn George Bush for wanting to help all the students instead of the special elite like MEEEEEEEEE!!!"]

Would you like me to go on about how much things suck right now?? I look forward to meeting with the BEST TEACHER EVER today, like I do every week for "intellectual stimulation," only to find that she wants to go see the damned art show that's being set up in the gymnasium--I go and stand there next to her as she's having the time of her life, while all I want to do is talk with her like we usually do. I'm left feeling like a third wheel, and so bitterly angry at her that I can barely breathe, which saddens me, because I love this woman like anything, and this is one of the few times I've ever been angry with her. But the DAMNED ART SHOW! I don't GIVE A DAMN! I have things to tell you, my friend!

["DAMN that teacher for wanting to spend some time with other students and activities when she should be totally focused on MEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!"]

And I stood there like a soldier for twenty fucking minutes! No--half-an-hour!! But I guess I'm just a selfish beyatch--I was jealous of the other people to whom she was talking, fer chrissakes. What the hell is wrong with me???

["When I saw that teacher talking to OTHER students for a few minutes rather than to MEEEEEEE, it drove me NUTS!!!"]

I think I'm mentally ill...

[You're right at home in DUmmieland.]

I'm sorry, all, but I had to get that out. I'm so bitter and angry and f*cked-up, and I STILL HAVE TO F*CKING WORK tonight.

[Yeah, let's hear all about the high stress work you have to do, DUmmie WritingIsMyReligion.]

I swear, if that messed up six-year-old does ONE thing, I might have to strangle her selfish little neck.

[Babysitting. Which means you have to sit around watching the tube for a few hours while snacking on corn chips. However, I do find the fact that you will be alone with a six-year-old frightening. Oh and SHE is the selfish one? Now on to the DUmmie comments which serve only to enable her sense of victimhood.]

Most righteous venting

[Attagirl! It's good to let everybody know how special yet ignored you are. Please continue with your understandable self-pity.]

But I don't get why I'm so angry... 'tis confusing.

[Maybe you are so angry, DUmmie WritingIsMyReligion, because you suspect (but hate) the fact that you are NOT the center of the universe.]

It's masking something. Hurt? Frustration? Isolation? All of the above?

[Try self-centered narcissism.]

Frustration, for sure. Frustration because everyone else seems to be angry. Frustration because I can't walk anywhere without falling over people quite literally taking each other's clothes off--and I can't even find someone to love; at least, not someone who isn't 36 years my senior. Frustration because I love my ex-teacher like mad, like a mother, and yet I'm just always going to be another student to her, and there isn't a damned thing I can do.

[Good news! There is a certain long-winded equally narcissistic ex-substitute Newton, MA teacher who is only about 20 years your senior that might be interested in you.]

Take a dump in the school's mailbox.

[DUmmie ZombieNixon acting as the wise sage with this advice.]

Mail him a cat poop sandwich!

[More mature advice from DUmmie ZombieNixon.]

Good vent! Very passionate.

[Only in DUmmieland would such a vent get a thumbs up.]

Just wait until you enter the workforce...
It's just as bad as high school - worse, rather... bosses who haven't a clue about anything except cutting costs and how to train workers to be team players rather than to to the jobs they were hired to do. And coworkers who love to lie behind your back; with the bosses not caring or not noticing a pattern with those vermin. I am very close to resigning at this point. And I recall that, even recently, they told me that they need me. Well, as a different coworker in another department once told me: "They don't deserve you..." And she is correct. Pity the job market is shit, but I'm still lookin' and hoping for the best.

[Commiseration from DUmmie HypnoToad, the older, unimproved, version of DUmmie WritingIsMyReligion.]

How do people get by in this miserable f*cking world???

[By not constantly gazing at themselves in the mirror would be a start, DUmmie WritingIsMyReligion.]

You aren't mentally ill, but you already knew that. Jealousy is a normal human feeling. Call the teacher or email her to talk to her.

[Believing that the sun and the planets and the stars revolve around you is perfectly normal, DUmmie WritingIsMyReligion. Call your teacher and tell her that you will allow her to apologize for not paying attention only to you 24/7.]

Teenage angst is a f*cking rite of passage to true adulthood.

[Methinks that the self-pitying sense of special entitlement will be a PERMANENT passage for DUmmie WritingIsMyReligion. She is NEVER going to get off the USS MEEEEE.]

WritingIsMyReligion, trust yourself.

[Yes, your whiny self-centered self-pitying rant is entirely justified. All must revolve around YOU.]

I already channel myself through writing and music. But I still ALWAYS feel like nobody understands me, or will ever understand me....

[They just don't understand the very special genius that is MEEEEEEEE!!!!]

I make the rest of the school look bad. I should be pushed down, apparently. Goddamned dumbing-down of America.

[I am being punished for my very special sense of self-entitlment. DAMN THEM ALL for not treating me as their superior!]

You are not alone! There is a support network out there for extra gifted teens--you are not alone! Do not let it overwhelm your sense of who you are--you know what is true, don't let them kill your spirit! If you are desperate, find help now! People who don't understand true giftedness will NEVER get it! Please write to me--btdt. peace.

[You are not alone. There is a support network of whiney self-pitying spoiled brats who need to feel superior to others. It is called DUmmieland.]

First, you are a bright teenager. The feelings you are having are pathetically normal for your age. Most everyone gets them at that age.

[If true then the teenagers of today are in much worse shape than I thought.]

My parents and I usually get along pretty well, but these damned hormonal shifts sometimes leave me ridiculously angry at them for no reason whatsoever.

[Like ranting at them for talking about business and cars as well as mocking your mother's religion? Could a very slight ray of self-awareness be entering this DUmmie?]

Most of the time she leaves me alone. But she says she's "bothered" by the lack of religion in my upbringing--which, if you think about it, is her fault.

[Somehow it's your mom's fault that you despise her religion?]

I'm a pantheist /agnostic/ spiritualist /satanist /heathen.

[Where are you worship services, DUmmie WritingIsMyReligion? At the local Goth club?]

Don't get me wrong, she's very liberal, very tolerant. But her ability to stick with the popes despite all the evidence against them astounds me.

[Thus spaketh DUmmie WritingIsMyReligion, theology scholar.]

You are fourteen.... You are suppose to rant and rave....
It's your freakin' job.....

[You are fourteen.... You are suppose to rant and rave like a self-centered spoiled brat.... It's your entitlement....]

Well, I'll be free in three years now. I want to go to some place liberal, eccentric, relatively insane, and cultural.

[Except for the cultural part, it sounds like you would enjoy attending UC Santa Cruz.]

you are not mentally ill, my sweet
you are one of us few folk who actually live in the real world and see how badly things suck.

[You are not mentally ill. You are one of the few folks who recognize that you are mentally and morally superior to the other students which justifies your exaggerated sense of self-entitlement.]

It's hard to be the only sober person in a room full of drunks, I guess. Our country has been inebriated for five years. We're going to have a hell of a hangover come midterms.

[Yes, you are the only sober person in your school, DUmmie WritingIsMyReligion. The other students are too drunk to realize that you are BETTER than they are.]

The Daily Dully Blog By Brian Williams

Get the scene. You are a NATIONAL Network Anchor on one of the MAJOR networks. You have a daily Blog. And yet this same Blog only gets about a half dozen reader comments (often less) on average. How can that possibly happen? Simple. The Blog is so incredibly BORING that even though you have MILLIONS of viewers, few of them can endure the torture of the ennui inducing posts. In this case I am referring to Brian Williams' Blog, THE DAILY NIGHTLY, more properly called The Daily Dully. It borders on the ASTOUNDING how a person can participate in a myriad of fascinating events like Williams and yet make it all sound about as exciting as watching water evaporate. I used to joke that the networks must search the mannequin factories to find their blow-dried anchormen but even a mannequin can come up with more exciting material than appears in The Daily Dully. I mean, didn't Brian Williams' even take some basic writing courses? If not, then I would recommend such a course as a night school assignment for Brian Williams. Perhaps Williams is scared of spontaneity. On one of the rare occasions that Williams spoke off the top of his well coiffed head, he came up with a "gem" comparing the Founding Fathers of America to terrorists. The harsh reaction from the public might have caused him to withdraw into his shell so as to fear being the least bit controversial in any form and manner to the extent that his Blog writing resembles just a dull recital of his observations. So let us now try to stay awake through a sampling of Brian Williams' Daily Dully in toned down Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, drinking cup after cup of coffee just to keep from falling asleep in the middle of this review, is in the [BRACKETS]:

IF IT'S WEDNESDAY, IT MUST BE MINNEAPOLIS

[IF IT'S WEDNESDAY, I MUST HAVE SLEPT THROUGH IT reading this EDITION of The Daily Dully.]

Because I am traveling with my family today in order to attend an event tonight here in the Twin Cities, and because the newscast can move WITH me without too much effort, tonight will find us in Minneapolis. Since there should be some mystery in life, I'll say a word at the end of the broadcast about the event that brings us here.

[It must have not been a very earth shaking word since there were a grand total of ZERO comments on this edition of The Daily Dully despite the fact that you are broadcasting to MILLIONS of people on a major network.]

To the newscast: A late-breaking lead story tonight: the verdict in the Zacarias Moussaoui case. Pete Williams will have the story and analysis. We'll also look at the federal bird flu plan and a new soft drink initiative aimed at kids. We will air a piece we have promoted for this evening on gas prices -- chiefly, where and why a gallon is available so cheaply. And We also have a fascinating item about women who work -- inside or outside the home -- and what they should be paid for it.

[Blatant self promotion doesn't make for very interesting Blog material. I've read flat out SPAM that is more interesing.]

AND ANOTHER THING...

[Spare us...PLEASE!]

My thanks to the good folks here at our legendary and venerable NBC affiliate, KARE-TV channel 11 -- or, as it is spoken aloud in this region, "Care eleven." I had a nice visit with my counterparts there today in their beautiful new HD studio.

[My thanks to the good folks here at our legendary and venerable BlogSpot -- or, as it is spoken aloud on the Web, "Blogger.Com." I had a nice visit to the head today with the beautiful new tile.]

Also, a few of you called me on something I said in this space about how there was "only one big story out there" in the news a few days back. We are all guilty of using an awful and demeaning (to real events around the world, where people live and die every day and where atrocities are committed and where great, great things happen) kind of shorthand. Once a day on most days in every newsroom in the country, large or small, you hear someone say, "it's the only story there is today." What they mean is... in terms of that newscast, that day, and given the circumstances, vagaries and limitations of daily (and especially television) journalism -- including a kind of insidious group think that happens wherever two or more journalists are gathered. Of COURSE there is news out there. In every person, in every nation and city and town. Take Darfur or Najaf. Tons of news in both places, much of it awful. But on a random Tuesday at 6 p.m., it can't just be "declared" news -- people have to be in place to cover it. There are more caveats and explanations than time or space permit. It was, regrettably, both offhand and shorthand -- two qualities that can come back to haunt a stressed-out journalist writing a blog posting on deadline with people hovering outside his office door and a studio full of people waiting for him to show up for a promo taping.

[You've more than used up your ENDLESS "caveats and explanations" to roundabout apologize for saying in your IMMIGRATION DAY Daily Dully edition that you thought there was only one big news story out there that day. I guess you've been shy of even the APPEARANCE of being controversial ever since you got burned for your Founding Fathers As Terrorists statement. But look at the bright side, Brian, that Daily Dully edition actually got over 70 responses, something of a record for your sleep inspiring Blog.]

Back to our core business in this world of so much news: our 30-minute slice of it will be ready for air before we know it, and we sincerely hope you'll join us.

[Um...Isn't that the whole purpose of The Daily Dully so why keep redundantly imploring us to watch your show? And now on to the IMMIGRATION DAY edition of the Daily Dully that caused Brian Williams to torture us with his navel self-examination...]

There's only really one big story out there today, and it's taking place in cities across the country. We'll have it covered tonight with a team of our folks stretched across the nation. For our own version of the issue in microcosm, I walked over to 7th Avenue and 39th Street to where a tiny and peaceful protest was taking place, and where I interviewed a woman with strong feelings about immigration. We're still sorting out the events as they begin and end and as the time zones play out to the west, and so size and importance will dictate the final order of march when we come on the air.

[GASP! You said it was the "only really one big story out there today?" Shame on you, Brian, for even sounding vaguely controversial! For that we DEMAND you bore us to death with tons of "caveats and explanations" in a future edition of The Daily Dully. As to your coverage of "Immigration Day" (aka "Illegal Alien Day"), despite all your flood the zone coverage with the vast NBC News resources you didn't really capture what those demonstrations were all about with the depth of Michelle Malkin's VENT Vodcast on her new HotAir.Com Blog.]

Sopranos fans put in another unproductive Monday at the office. Most of the buzz seems concentrated on Vito's new life (from mob Capo to gay biker in just three episodes... amazing) the almost-consumated real estate deal, Thad McCone's phone (isn't that how they will eventually find Vito in this age of caller ID and GPS chips in phones?), Tony as CEO (the scene with Phil..."we're both saying the same thing... you need to let me handle it my way...") and A.J. Poor A.J. Is he a Dr. Melfi patient waiting to happen? Is it possible Carm (who never knew how meaningful an act buttoning a shirt could be) won't find out about the knife? Also, is it too much to ask to have smoked turkey in the fridge after an exhausting evening of signing forms? And by the way: who can identify the song playing in the background during Tony's conversation with the realtor at the bar in the Bing? Post the answer if you know it or know someone who does.

[Now we enter the realm of the surreal. Out of nowhere, Brian Williams fills The Daily Dully Blog page with a totally besides the point review of the Sopranos. Note to Brian Williams: We know you want to sound hip about pop culture but the Sopranos long ago jumped the shark. How about a totally meaningless review of a "Happy Days" rerun?]

America today welcomed Pete Breen to the airwaves. Pete worked with us years ago on THE NEWS WITH BRIAN WILLIAMS on MSNBC and CNBC. In his role as producer, he appeared as (hopefully) a new regular on today's debut of THE MOST with Alison Stewart on MSNBC. Pete has the triple crown in life: a great wife, a great dog and the cutest baby in the world. Now he's on the air. While his part apparently calls for him to use a headset microphone while seated in the control room (giving his live report a hint of "helicopter traffic report" audio) he is clearly a natural, and all of us who are his friends will enjoy watching him begin the inevitable wardrobe upgrade. I was thrilled to look up and see Pete today -- and I wish Alison and her crew the very best of luck with their new and very promising broadcast.

[Pete has the triple crown in life: a clean navel, double coated paint on his house, and a really kewl Phillips head screwdriver. And since bizarre Soprano episode reviews seem to be Brian's way of filling up space, I'll bore you to death with the following pasting from his April 24 EDITION of The Daily Dully.]

Finally, and because there's more to life than non-fiction: a Sopranos recap for fellow addicts. While many friends and co-workers were of the opinion today that the gift-basket incident bordered on shark-jumping, there's no arguing with this year's writing, casting and plot lines. But where the lurking sharks are concerned, let's wait and see if Vito really becomes an antiques dealer. I was surprised to learn that the idyllic New England town where he landed two weeks ago (what was the significance of the half-shaved mustache on the short-order cook?) was Boonton, N.J., in real life -- a place where I spent some time as a reporter years ago but did not recognize in that depiction.

The quotes of the night last night, in no particular order:

"No firing guns in the Borough limits."

"I'll be at my investing club at the Learning Annex if anybody needs me."

"We lead the world in computerized data collection!"

That all three quotes are from or pertain to the same character speaks to this year's episodes so far. Also (we're doing this without names to protect those who've not yet caught the episode) last night's cameos were priceless... if not a little bruised at times.

There was one inside-baseball cameo that stood out, however... as an inside joke for the truly hardcore: how many people spotted David Chase in the background of a critical scene? It was perfect.

[The quotes of the night last night, in no particular order:

"No posting innocuous filler material."

"I'll be at my creative writing class at the Learning Annex if anybody needs me."

"We lead the world in posting content-free comments."]

"How could this incompetent administration pull of MIHOP?"

The DUmmies seem to have something of a dilemma regarding President Bush. You see, the liberals are constantly harping on the "utter incompetence" of Bush. However, the DUmmies also claim that Bush MIHOP concerning 9/11. IOW, they believe that Bush Made It Happen On Purpose (9/11) and was able to keep this MASSIVE plot a secret all these years to the public (except for the paranoid DUmmies). So how to explain this disconnect? How could an incompetent President pull off the most massive plot in history and keep it a secret? Simple. According to the DUmmies, Bush is only ACTING incompetent in order to cover up his incredible scheming competence in pulling off MIHOP as you can see in this ironically titled (because of the incompetent spelling of "off" as "of") THREAD incompetently titled, "How could this incompetent administration pull of MIHOP?" So where do the DUmmies get the idea for this premise? Perhaps they stole the idea from a Saturday Night Live skit in which an barely aware Ronald Reagan is basically sleepwalking thru his day in front of others. Then when there is no one around, he suddenly turns into an ultra-competent dynamo giving brisk orders over the phone in a variety of languages. So let us now watch the DUmmies present Bush's incompetence as an act to cover up MIHOP in paranoid Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, wondering if Bush can really pronounce "nuclear" with precise diction, is in the [brackets]:

How could this incompetent administration pull of MIHOP?

[Maybe Bush's misuse of "of" in place of "off" is just an act to make us think he is as incompetent as a typical DUmmie.]

Can someone in the MIHOP camp explain to me why this administration, the same one that totally f*cked up the planning in Iraq, and was in charge of FEMA during Hurrican Katrina, could have masterminded the worse terrorist attack on American soil? If you make posts in the 9/11 Forum about how the plane that hit the south tower had a missle pod, or that the passengers on board the planes were taken away to some secret location and held there indefinately, then how do you explain why the Bush Administration f*cked up everyone from pre-war Iraq planning (ie. not guarding important military sites in Iraq, including sites that held potential hazardous material that was guarded by the U.N.) and couldn't mobalize FEMA for the people in and near NOLA? I don't trust them to get anything right, and judging by their record of incompetence, I don't see how they could have pulled off 9/11.

[Stand by for some really HILAROUS DUmmie explanations of this dilemma.]

This administration may appear 'incompetent'
and, indeed, be so if you accept the point of view that what they are attempting to do is what they say they are attempting to do. On the other hand, if you take the point of view that they are achieving the goals they have in mind, but use 'incompetence' (among other things) as ruses because their stated goals and their real goals are not one and the same, then you could come up with a different appreciation for their capabilities.

[Ah, the incompetence as a ruse theory. However, there is still a fallback position for DUmmies who still want to believe in Bush's incompetence as presented by this very same DUmmie...]

But as I see it, it doesn't really matter. 9/11 wasn't done by "this administration" it was 'done' by a quasi-military 'black' operations group. These people, I can assure you, are NOT incompetent.

[Yes, Bush only AUTHORIZED MIHOP. However, since he is so incompetent, he left all the details to an ultra competent super secret Black Ops group.]

I agree, Bush& Co are not incompetent when it comes to
meeting their own goals. They want Americans to get the idea that the federal gov't is not going to be there to help them in the future, hence FEMA,etc.., that is also why they are bankrupting the treasury. As for the black operations group , sounds like a good idea for a new thread. Imagine the kind of technology/training/ & weaponry they would have. Stuff we don't even know about. As we go on about shaped charges, etc...I'm sure they have ways of demolishing a building in, well, 10-13 seconds flat!

[Ah! I see. The incompetent act serves not only as a ruse to cover up MIHOP but to make Americans think that Big Government is ineffective. And imagine the Black Ops group rigging up the WTC Towers with shaped charges without being detected!]

The incompetence is merely a ruse to achieve their goals...which they have done...and continue to do.

[Warning! The incompetence is just a ruse!]

Maybe the Black Ops boys aren't incompetent,
but the next time they pull an operation, they should better do a better job of tying up the loose strings. Like the little boner of at least five of the so called "hijackers", all of whom supposedly died in the "attacks", subsequently turning up alive and well. And the idiotic ploy of "finding" the undamaged passport of one of the suspects in the rubble heap. Yea, uh huh. They expect us to believe that jet fuel burned so intensely hot that it made steel melt causing the towers collapse, but a paper passport somehow floated down to ground level undamaged. Not unlike their insane bull shit of silencing witnesses to the Kennedy Assassination. If the ass-wads really expected the public to buy the "Oswald did it" Official Story, would it not have made better sense to leave the whistle blowers alone? As in: what, me worry? Give the appearance at least, that people like that are harmless crackpots who cause the Government no concern whatever. Harassing/ murdering witnesses has a tendency to draw public attention to the plight of the victims, and lend more credence to what they have to say. They may not be incompetent, but they're not the sharpest tools in the shed, either. In my opinion -

[They also made a huge mistake in allowing DUmmieland to remain online where the perceptive DUmmies could figure out the entire MIHOP plot.]

That said, are these guys geniuses? Hell No. Just look at building 7. Only the American Media could cover up such a glaring mistake as building 7's collapse, Silverstein's comments,and the destruction of the evidence. Without the complicity of the media they would be exposed as the shitbag traitors that they are.

[Damn that Building 7 collapse! How did we let that loose end slip by for the always perceptive DUmmies to notice?]

There are men and women who work in branches of the U.S. Government who will Kill without question, they DO NOT feel guilty about this. It is their job. If you feel differently about it you are living in a fantasy world. Go to your library, check out books about the U.S. Intelligence community, you may not like what you find out.

[You're killing me with your standup comedy and I bet you don't feel a bit guilty about this.]

Moreover, the government is incompetent only if you think they try to make things better for everyone - if you think they really wanted to liberate the Iraqi people and bring them democracy, if you think they really care about the troops and want to limit the number of casualties, if you think they were really trying to help the poor in New Orleans, etc.

[IOP---Incompetent On Purpose.]

So don't believe the puppet show in any way, and remember that irony is silent laughter for someone. In this case laughing at us.

[Even more ironically, you don't realize how RIGHT you are. We ARE laughing AT you.]

The window dressing is incompetence.
Bush is the perfect front guy. He plays his role so well, no one could think he's smart enough to pull it off. And that's obviously true. But the people behind him are and they had been planning their Pearl Harbor for years. On 9/11, Bush played his role perfectly.

[Bush was perfectly competent in acting out his incompetent role.]

Because it's not the Administration
It would be a military operation conducted out of the Pentagon.

[And it is a given fact that the Pentagon has absolutely NO ties with the Administration.]

Reason: "Double-Truth".

Two truths:

One story for the masses.

The real truth known only to the elites.

That's how they do it.

[We never counted on the super perceptive DUmmies to discover the REAL TRUTH reserved only for us elites.]

"Why not point something out?" Right at the start--the false premise that Bush failed at everything he did.

He stole two elections.

He successfully muzzled the media.

He subverted the Constitution and got away with it.

He's looted the public treasury.

[Which explains how he pulled off MIHOP.]

Seriously, it's called "Crazy Like A Fox" - where the fox rolls around and acts crazy and lulls the prey into thinking he's stupid - then, he POUNCES on them. It's also known as having a method to one's madness. It's also known as 'misdirection' - Bush is the hand with the magic wand in it that you can't take your eyes off, Cheney is the hand slipping the rabbit under the table that you never notice. He's stupid alright, all the way to the bank with all our money. How stupid is that? And, what does that make us? A retarded president has cleaned you out, sacrificed your kids and lives better than most of us ever will.
It's stupid to think he's stupid.

[But NOT stupid to think that YOU are stupid.]

Al Qaeda could have demolished the WTC by
renting offices in the building and working at night.

[Instead of just flying planes into the WTC which appeared on various videos which we are not to believe.]

yes, critical thinking skills are lacking these days. A steady diet of X-files and other government did it programs makes many people jump to conclutions.

[Like MIHOP.]

I wouldn't put anything past the government. Not a god damn thing. And I still wonder to this day, why and how it is that if the Government was taken so completely by surprise on 9/11, then how did they pull it all together so fast? As I recall, names and faces of the alleged hijackers were being broadcast within hours of the attacks. They worked mighty damn fast for people who (we are supposed to believe) got caught with their pants down - ? WTF?

[Chalk it up to the incredibly effective incompetence ruse.]

"Come November...What can we do if there is a repeat of '02 and '04?"

The DUmmies are already whining about the November results MONTHS before those elections even begin. And, of course, if the DUmmocrats LOSE in November, their excuse will be VOTE FRAUD. Is this any big surprise? The DUmmies have lost the past three elections and every time it is the same whine. Vote Fraud...Diebold...Vote Fraud...Diebold...Vote Fraud...Diebold... They just can't seem to face the fact that MAYBE the voters themselves rejected the DUmmocrats. Therefore we can now see the DUmmies getting their lame excuses for possible defeat together in this THREAD titled, "Come November...What can we do if there is a repeat of '02 and '04?" So let us watch the DUmmies let loose with their collective electoral whine in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, busy programming the Diebold software, is in the [brackets]:

Come November...What can we do if there is a repeat of '02 and '04?

[How about melodramatically standing up and revealing your real names like you hilariously performed following your '04 defeat?]

We have the numbers. We have the evidence.
How do we make sure that the votes are counted fairly and correctly? If there is obviously malfeasance, how do we prove it? Who's got our backs?

[Karl Rove has your back.]

There has to be a plan. We can't just wing it. We have to have an organized course of action set up in advance. I have no idea what that course should be, but I feel that it's essential. Any ideas?

[The plan is simple. If you win, declare that it was a legit election. If you lose, screech "VOTE FRAUD!!!"]

Celebrate or cry respectively. We gained seats in both houses of the federal legislature in '02. And we had gains in state governments in both '02 and '04. So if the results are the same as '02 ... we celebrate! If the results are the same as '04, we have a mixed bag. As already mentioned, we had gains in the states, but were swept in the federal elections. I would say '04 was a net loss. So crying seems appropriate. Which is why I'll be rooting for a repeat of '96, '98 or '02 and not of '00 or '04.

[Go ahead and root for a repeat of '02 when the DUmmocrats lost control of the Senate and DUmmieland had a collective mental meltdown in which your site was shut down for days.]

I have no doubt that if the Dems don't move spiffy, then after all the vote-counting is done, the Rs will still be in control. And for all the talk about clean elections, all the hard work put in by so many dedicated DU'ers, I haven't actually seen any concrete results, although if someone has a link, I'd like to have it.

[I better speed up on programming those Diebold machines.]

precisely. greg palast in his new book is predicting 4 million votes are going to dissapear. what are we going to do when people who are supposed to win by 10-15 points lose their elections? it is coming, it will be obvious, it will be blatant. will we take it?

[ONLY 7 million votes? I've been programming those Diebold machines to lose 7 million votes.]

I think four million either disappeared --
-- or were switched in 2004. No, actually more. i think Kerry won by 4 million, in the popular vote.

[Since Bush won by 3 million in the popular vote then 7 million were switched. It looked like the Diebold programming worked just right.]

I think we need some sort of network of response teams. We need people to work the media. We need people to file lawsuits. We need people on phone banks. We need legal experts. We need mathematicians. What else?

[Thought Police.]

So far, I haven't heard a damn thing from anyone with any authority or power to **actually** do something about what, specifically, they would do if the vote gets stolen again. Lotsa money coming in. Lotsa candidates out there. Lotsa great polls out there. Lotsa 'looking good for the midterms.' Not a lot of contingency plans to ensure a fair vote. I don't want to know about the platitudinous bullshit we get from our leaders. I want to know what *****specifically****** they have planned for ensuring that ***my*** vote counts.
Please tell me I'm wrong, that I missed the 'plans' memo, and that I have had my head up my ass.

[Okay, I'll be the one to tell you that you do have your head up Uranus.]

After people vote, they fill out the postcard and mail it. If a
Dem has 500 votes in a Precinct and 1,000 postcards, something is rotten, ain'a? (as they say in Wisconsin). Voter registration numbers can be used to cull out dupes or frauds.

[If it is Wisconsin, just mail in slashed car tires.]

If fear of a crypto fascist theocracy isn't enough motivation for people to give up on their precious secret "Australian ballot" then we are just f*cked. Mail the cards out beforehand. Voter registration number is on your card, mine is in my wallet. There is sure to be some slippage and Repukes will claim "voter error," which is why Dems need to win really big. If fraud can be proven in a few precincts, the worms come out of the can, people ask "How?" and once "How" is known (or even just cannot be explained)then the rest comes more easily.

[You better watch out. Normally apathetic people might vote AGAINST the DUmmocrats this year just to be entertained by your crazed reactions in the aftermath.]

I hate to say this, but we need to arouse peoples fear and paranoia and direct it at the voting machines.

[You're already doing a great job on the paranoia bit.]

RUN PARALLEL ELECTIONS to audit the results of your local elections.

[What a practical suggestion. Just go to the expense and effort of opening up parallel polling places and hope EVERYONE has the patience to vote TWICE just to validate your dopey idea.]

PLAN AHEAD. START NOW. INHIBIT. DETECT. FIGHT BACK WHEN IT OCCURS.

[PLAN AHEAD. START NOW. INHIBIT. DETECT. WHINE IF WE LOSE.]

We have legislation in place for paper ballots even if there are electronic voting machines available in Montana. I realize I am simplistic and all that...but what would happen if there were indeed recognized, recorded, notarized...whatever it would take to certify them as LEGAL DOCUMENTS biparitsan exit polls? Having volunteers outside the polls do to this? Count me in...I'll take notes. No names, just are they registered (which they would be, otherwise they wouldn't have been allowed to vote in the first place) and how did they vote on the key issues. These could be compared against the 'official' results if anything looked fishy. I realize I'm making a big assumption that voters would be honest and want to assure that their vote to be counted as they cast it.

[It would get quite crowded in the poll booths with notary publics squeezing in with each voter. Oh, and thanx for your suggestion to toss the SECRET BALLOT out the window.]

Yes we must start now, we must act quickly...the clock is...
...ticking and November is really just around the corner.

[Start whining...NOW!!!]

"Who's got our backs?" nobody. The same nobody that has let this get to this point in the first place. In case it has escaped your notice, this country has undergone a coup. We have been occupied for six years and those responsible are not about to let it go just because a bunch of sheep stopped chewing their cud long enough to make a mark on a "ballot". I hope I'm wrong, but history is on my side.

[John Kerry has your back. Just look for the secret hand signal as he adjusts his tie.]

We have to try. But maybe we shouldn't be discussing this on a public forum.

[Your comments have been noted and countermanded by the Rovian Commandos.]

Grab a tube of K-Y and think of England. We're screwed. We have as much chance of re-taking a house of Congress as Smirk does of discovering the Higgs particle. Shumer/Emanuel's hand-picked candidate for the Senate in OH is 11 points behind Bush sycophant DeSwine. TO me that means that the Ohio electorate believes that * is doing just fine. If the electorate as a whole is so stupid and ignorant as to believe that this is the best we can do, than the American experiment is coming to an end.

[Bend over and grab your socks. Prepare for your Grand Lubbing!]

Anyone here good with graphics? We need pictures. Maybe a voting machine with a ghostly hovering Arab terrorist figure reaching into to it and manipulating the totals. Or maybe an Arab sitting in a cave hacking into our voting machines. What would be good captions? How about "Our voting machines are built by wealthy Bush backers and we all know who Bush works for!"

[How about a picture of Algore getting lubed by a Diebold machine?]

be a judge, or a poll watcher.

[And if you even suspect that someone on the poll line is a Republican, pull them out and disqualify them on the spot.]

The situation we have here - in November we will need some forensic accountants and statisticians coming forward with MANY people to figure this out. I mean MANY, MANY people to help figure this one out.

["Forensic accountants." That's a new term for me. It means liberal accountants who do the electoral obituaries for for the DUmmies when they lose so they can use manipulated stats to proclaim vote fraud.]

I will be taking a video camera with me EVERY time I vote!
That is for sure! I will never wander into a polling place without my video camera rolling. I'll also have my digital camera. If my vote is switched, I want America to see video and stills.

[LOL! Yeah your video of your ONE LONE vote is somehow going to prove vote fraud. Plan to enter that video on American's FUnniest Videos?]

Pied Piper Pitt Bids Farewell To DUmmieland

It's the end of an Era of Shameless Self-Hype. The Puffed Up Verbose One who uses five melodramatic words when just one would work, Pied Piper Pitt, is leaving DUmmieland. And what was the reason for this sudden departure? Most likely it was the result of recently getting egg on his face for backing up the "integrity" of JASON LEOPOLD. As the Lib of the infamous team of Leopold and Lib, Pitt stuck his neck out backing the journalistic credentials of the factually challenged Leopold who stated that Karl Rove received a target letter from Prosecutor Patrick Fitzgerald. When it turned out to be untrue, the branch from which Pitt was sawing himself off from the tree of credibility came tumbling down which is why he now needs to beat a humiliating retreat as you can see in his typically overblown farewell speech in this POST titled, "A humble answer." So let us all now watch Pied Piper Pitt fade into the distance in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, who bids adieu to a DUmmie who has provided LOTS of laughs in many DUFU editions, is in the [brackets]:

A humble answer

[Humble and Pitt don't exactly go together.]

Somehow, I managed to become central to a DU flameout that I have since completely missed. I headed up to New Hampshire to dog-sit for my mom, who went to South Carolina for a "We're all turning 60!" reunion gathering this weekend. I haven't bothered since then to check the web, because the internet connection here in the woods is dial-up and galactically slow. So I finally got around to checking in tonight, and lo & behold...

[And the LORD said unto Pitt, Go, get thee down; for thy people, which thou broughtest out of the land of Egypt, have corrupted themselves.]

* One thread from a man I once considered an ally shitting on me, another truthout writer, and basically everything not oriented with pushing his film project;

[And he also hid the key to the strawberry ice cream icebox.]

* Several threads about Raw Story and atheists, which became my problem because I chose to support Raw for the five thousand good things they've done, rather than burn them down for one ill-advised article;

[Just do us a favor and don't waste five thousand words to explain how you got Raw Egg on your face over this.]

* Several threads about all this together.

[Redundancy can be quite catchy as well as contagious.]

To answer your question, kpete, about why there is so much fighting, I can give you the perspective of someone who has been here since May of 2001. That perspective is pretty straightforward: most of the people who post here agree with you completely. Those that don't - people whose professional jealousy overwhelms their good sense, people whose single-issue monomania denies the viability of even a nanoblip of disagreement, people who get phony-tough behind a fake name and a keyboard, and people who are here to do nothing more than tear up the process - will always make this place disagreeable. This place will never, ever, ever live up to its potential because of this, and that is sad.

[You'll get way more than a nanoblip of disagreement from Skinner over your characterization of DUmmieland about that "place will never, ever, ever live up to its potential." So now that DUmmieland hasn't lived up to Pied Piper Pitt's haughty expectations, he's DUmping it.]

Before too much time passes, there is going to be a decent crowd of people on this forum who will owe Jason Leopold an apology. I'll bet you all the money in my wallet they won't offer one, but there it is. For myself, I apologize to anyone who felt that my support for Raw Story equalled support for a column that unnecessarily (and incoherently) attacked a group of good people. That was not my intention, and in retrospect, I should have made that clear from the jump. I wanted to help Larissa, because I believe she deserves that help and respect, and inadvertantly made things worse. That was my failure, and I am sorry for it.

[We are so sorry, Jason Leopold, that you are so whacked out that you flat out lied in your article about Karl Rove getting a letter naming him as a target. Please forgive us for not believing in your lie.]

This is a good thread, kpete, and well-meaning in every sense. But I have been here too long and seen too much shit (and, to be fair, caused too much of my own shit) to believe this place can or will ever rise to the level of integrity that people like you bring to it every day. The same reasons why this place will never reach its potential are the same reasons why the Left spends so much time on the outside looking in politically. You would think we wouldn't have to learn the same hard lessons over and over again, but you'd be wrong.

[Does this ever get to some CONCLUSION? However, have no fear. The Good Doctor is taking notes. Just keep wandering all over the place, Pitt, and maybe we can find a cure for Terminal Verbosity in the meantime.]

It has been said by many long-time posters that the healthiest thing one can do from time to time is take a break from this place. I seldom do, and when I have tried in the past, I always get sucked back in. But I think the time has come for a real one. I have too much to deal with in my personal life, too many pages to edit for my next book, too many real enemies in the Bush administration and congress to fight, and too many good Democrats to help get elected in '06, to spend my energy here fighting people that - in any sane, stable community - would be natural allies.

[The reference to his personal life might have to do with the legal problems of the Schoolyard Dog. You can read all about it in a brief called, "The Minor-ity Report."]

In other words, I have better things to do with my time. Guess what, kpete: you and everyone who agrees with you also have better things to do with your time. If there are people here who want to turn this forum into a boneyard for jackals and phony-tough flame-warriors, you should let them. You can't stop it, no matter how hard you try, and your skills and passion are far better served in a place where you don't have to ask people on the same side to stop tearing each other apart.

[How about a schoolyard for jackals?]

See ya on the flip-side.

[See ya on the flip-flop side. And now for the DUmmie reaction to the Pied Piper Pitt departure...]

William Pitt - I cannot accept this. Please, please give me some hope. Don't we need you, Larisa, Leopold and each other now more than ever?
The light at the end of the tunnel is in view. I can see it...

[Please Pitt. Don't leave. I can see the light at the end of your long tunnel extending down to your voluminous vocal chords and beyond.]

Setting aside your mother, her dog, time and bandwidth...

[Especially bandwidth. And now more from the Pied Piper Pitt lemmings on this DUmmie THREAD titled, "Dear William Pitt: please don't leave DU."]

Dear William Pitt: please don't leave DU.

[We DUmmie lemmings need you to play on your Pipe to lead us over the cliff.]

Maybe you can keep posting your journal entries without reading the comments if things get to be too much? Or maybe, maybe, lots of other folks will chime in and tell you how much your work here means?

[Maybe you can send messages down from the heights of Mt. Sinai to us peons via courier.]

Will Pitt Has Disagreed With Me Several Times. As a result I never considered leaving DU. If you can't stand the heat get out of the kitchen.
Will Pitt does not own left wing or progressive thought.

[Pied Piper Pitt considers himself the Be All and End All of DUmmieland...but he still can't get a job with Mama T's Boy Toy.]

Will does however, open himself up to personal attack with his often smarmy responses.

[Make that OVERLONG smarmy responses.]

Will does open himself up sometimes to personal attacks with short, smarmy answers. The way he answers people sometimes can be construed as quite condescending and arrogant.

[And don't forget pompous.]

PLEEEEEEEEAAAAASSSSEEEEE, Mr. Pitt. Mr. Pitt, you are one of the reasons I visit DU often. For a long time, I just sat back and lurked. But you, Mr. Pitt, inspired me to become a member and to post. The WORLD needs more people like you. DU would not be the same without you. PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAASSSSSEEEEE STAY.
Please?

[PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAASSSSSEEEEE STAY, Mr. Pitt, so I can continue to kiss your pimpled tush.]

PLEASE DON'T LEAVE US WILL!!! WE NEED YOUR TRUTHS AND INSIGHTS!!

[TRUTHS LIKE HOW KARL ROVE RECEIVED A TARGET LETTER FROM FITZGERALD!!]

I've forgotten how many times he's left
Not to worry, Pitt groupies. He always comes back.

[There will always be a Second, Third, and Fourth Return of the Pitt.]

was it that Target letter question? as I haven't really been up on the RS/truthout reports on it, I can't really say, just that Will was asked about the discreptancy of some sort. If that is the reason he is upset, then I don't understand. Was the question ever answered, btw?

[That question was answered and Pitt was WRONG...as usual.]

I always learn things from Will also, and if he leaves he's caving to a very, very small group of people who don't appreciate him as much as the rest of us do. Ignore them, Will, and keep posting. I love everything I've ever read that you've written - you're a treasure to DU.

[It's more a matter of Pitt leaving with his tail between his legs after standing up for the "veracity" of the fact-challenged Jason Leopold.]

You read it right. Taking a break. This thread is silly.

[Especially since Pitt will be returning shortly with a long-winded speech which will make it seem like a more momentous occasion than MacArthur returning to the Phillipines.]

I've lost count of the times Pitt has threatened to leave. I'm sick of people kissing his ass and begging him to stay. Let him go if that's what he wants - I doubt he really does want - he's got too many sycophants around here.

[Please don't leave, Mr. Pitt. I am one of your loyal "sickophants" who hangs on your every word even if there are way too many of them.]

"Air America Losing It's Flagship Station????"

Remember all the media hype for Air America when it first launched a couple of years ago? Before even the first broadcast, the MSM gave us adulatory stories about how Air America would give conservative talk radio, namely Rush Limbaugh, a run for their money. Actually make that NO MONEY. Air America has had such LOW RATINGS that they have to rely on either leftwing moneybags like George Soros to come up with their revenue or raid Boys and Girls Clubs charities to pay for Al Franken's inflated salary. In fact, this year Al Franken demanded his years salary IN ADVANCE before jumping ship from the Air America Flagship Station to move to Minneapolis to originate his broadcast from where he hopes to initiate his Senate run in a few years. Did Al Franken know something that his Air America colleagues didn't? Apparently he did. First by cashing out right away when the loot was still available and finally by splitting from New York. You see, it now turns out that Air America is LOSING it's Flagship Station as you can see in this DUmmie THREAD titled, "Air America Losing It's Flagship Station????" So where do all the other Air America hosts like Randi Rhodes or Janeane Garofalo go when the New York Flagship Station is gone at the end of August? Apparently Splitsville since there is no other New York Flagship Station in sight mainly due to the fact that there is NO MONEY to purchase or lease one in the Big Apple. And without hosts to broadcast shows, there is NO Air America. It's a lose-lose situation for all of Air America except for Al Franken who got his millions of Boys and Girls Club money UP FRONT at the beginning of the year. So let us now enjoy the spectacle of the DUmmies actually acting shocked at this impending loss of America in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, noting that the sound of static is more exciting than listening to Al Franken, is in the [brackets]:

Air America Losing It's Flagship Station????

[Terrible ratings and almost no ad revenue and you're acting surprised?]

I can't believe this! Is this true? I haven't seen anyone post about this yet.

[Go ahead and post the Air America obituary.]

"Air America Radio will lose its New York flagship station, WLIB-AM, on Aug. 31. While the left-leaning radio network’s original lease for the Inner City station ran out March 31, AAR managed to get an extension which only lasts until Aug. 31, according to an informed source."

http://www.mediaweek.com/mw/news/tvstations/article_display.jsp?vnu_content_id=1002424337

R.I.P. And now to have FUn watching the DUmmie FUneral Party!]

Believe it. It's true.

[I BEEEEEEEELLLLEEEEEEEEVE!!!]

ugh this sucks.. I knew they were in trouble when they yanked Malloy from NYC in favor of local programming... Sucks sucks sucks.... And it seems, from reading that article, that Ed Shultz is the one bouncing them... Or at least who the owners want to be on... ughhhhhh

[You have to really suck bad if Blowhard Ed Schultz can bounce you from the airwaves.]

AAR has been badly managed from the start.
They bring in film people and television and record industry people... NO radio people. This is why they are still losing money.

[Al Franken's SOLE qualification for radio broadcasting is that he wrote a book noted ONLY because he included Rush Limbaugh's name on the cover. Even the DUmmies find Al Franken to be incrediby BORING]

I've often thought about that same thing. Especially when their last CEO left abruptly. I can't remmber the name, but i know he used to own a record company.

[Was that the CEO that looted the Boys and Girls Club?]

I am not sanguine about AAR's continued operation. They are on a knife-edge now, and it might turn bad rather quickly.

[MIGHT turn bad? I think that already happened.]

I really hate hearing this kind of news about AAR, but IMO, the writing has been on the wall for a few months, for those who care to look closely at the situation. Dammit, why can't the liberals with money help out? The rethugs can manage to bring Fox News to national prominence. I wish we could get a group of ppl to handle AAR properly...

[Dammit, why can't liberals produce radio shows with high enough ratings to actually GENERATE ad revenue? The "rethugs" didn't bring Fox News to national prominence. It was RATINGS due to high viewership that translates into AD REVENUE.]

They have taken in a lot of money, though. So much so that those of us with other efforts to promote ( in my case White Rose and Head On Radio Network) have found the well to be dry. Worse, many of their investors are under non-compete agreements! You can go to the money guys a couple of times... But after a while it looks like good money after bad to them. You have to make a profit. That's why we call what we put together a business plan rather than a grant application.

[DUmmie benburch actually making sense for a change. Of course, he has an ulterior motive. He wants liberal startup money for his own White Rose radio "empire." I guess the "lightening-destroyed-our-equipment" shtick didn't quite work out.]

Yeah that makes sense. It would be hard to keep handing out the cash and never seeing a return on the investment..

[A return on investment would be dependent on RATINGS of which Air America was sorely lacking.]

I've heard Ed Schultz use that term "Bake-Sale Radio". Does that also apply to NPR and public television?

[It also applies to Blowhard Ed Schultz's own show. I mean where do you think his radio startup money came from? Directly from the Democrats who financed their personal radio hack.]

Rachel's show is great. I think she's the best of the AAR personalities. Her show is smart, funny, and accomplished--to say nothing of the fact that she has a great radio voice. I frankly wish she would take over Franken's slot.

[Another DUmmie show of "support" for Al Franken.]

What makes it the "flagship" station? It's just one radio station out of their whole network, what's the big deal?

[The "big deal" is that without a flagship station there is NO studio for the hosts to broadcast out of. Do you expect Randi Rhodes to broadcast her show al fresco in Central Park while peddling generator bike pedals to power the signal? Actually, on second thought, not such a bad idea.]

AAR is fine, the audience is growing they are probably going to switch to a station that can deliver a stronger signal and a bigger audience.

[Is that you, Pollyanna?]

I hope you're right. But honestly, your post reminds me of the cop in Naked Gun telling people "There's nothing to see here", as the fireworks factory is exploding behind him. No offense intended. IMO, it just isn't looking great for AAR at the moment. I SERIOUSLY hope I'm wrong... This is one time I would LOVE, and welcome, to be wrong.

["The Air America fireworks factory is exploding. Please move along. There is nothing to see here."]

All this means is AAR is finding a new station in NY- no big whoop. Kharmatrain explained that since AAR does NOT own the radio stations they will have to move occassionally in different cities. There is nothing alarming or abnormal about this. AAR made a wise business choice in NOT buying radio stations across the country.

[Baghdad Bob auditioning for an Air America gig.]

All the frequencies in New York are spoken for, and I haven't read, seen, or heard anything anywhere about a jump from LIB to another station.

[Thank you for that cold splash of reality.]

I think *we*do* have to expect to provide regular grants to AAR... The big advertizers are boycotting their liberal, anti-corporate shows no matter how many people listen. AAR and DemocracyNow! are *ours* and we have to support them.

[When a station fails to get ratings, it gets "boycotted," if you prefer to use that incorrect term.]

I don't believe there is a boycott. AAR simply does not do what is required to market themselves effectively.

[DUmmie benburch acting surprising realistic for a change. (Of course he has an ULTERIOR motive for doing so.)]

I'm trying to start a radio network with about 0.001% of the money they have spent, after all.I just wish I had a tiny fraction of the money they have wasted and the opportunities they have let slip.

[Why don't you just make up an incredible story about lightening destroying your broadcast equipment, benburch, and they try to shill for bucks that way?]

AAR has always had low ratings in NY. In other areas of the country they have very high ratings. Their audience continues to grow nationally, so I wouldn't worry about them folding just yet. But this is too bad. I really hope they get their act together.

[You mean in other areas of the country like CHATTANOOGA where the Air America ratings are so DISMAL that they don't even show up on the charts?]

Don't worry, it is only one station, they will easily move to another. Thats' all, it goes on all the time in radio. Overall, AAR is doing just fine, thank you.

["Please move along. There is nothing to see here except for the Air America fireworks factory exploding."]

I'm glad they're getting off WBLI. The reception is awful. That's one of the reasons they aren't getting listeners. It was worse a few months ago. You had to be really dedicated to stay tuned in because of all the interference. I am not in NYC, but on LI. They used to be 1299 on the dial, maybe they still are, but I can't get them there anymore. There's a better reception on 1300 but that carries Ed Schultz instead of Randi ~ and after 6PM you really can't get a good reception until about 8PM in the morning ~

[The Air America signal dies somewhere over the East River.]