Wednesday, January 11, 2006

DUmmie FUnnies 01-11-06 (DUmmie Diebold Defacer Dense DUnce Defense)



Please excuse my descent into blatant alliteration but, like DUmmie AtomicKitten, I just couldn't help it; it was beyond my control. Of course the BIG difference is that my offense was committed against the English language while the the offense of AtomicKitten is a CRIMINAL matter for which she will soon have to FACE justice. Here are the facts: At 10 P.M. on the night of January 9 somewhere in the San Francisco area, DUmmie AtomicKitten pulled into a grocery parking lot next to a Diebold truck. While waiting for her son to return from a quick errand in the store (of course video cameras recorded his entry), AtomicKitten noticed the truck next to her with "Diebold - We Won't Rest" written on the side. At that point, she pulled out a PERMANENT Magic Marker (keep that fact in mind, trial judge) and DEFACED the truck sign to read, "Diebold - We Steal Elections." DUmmie AtomicKitten was sooooo excited by her act of JUVENILE vandalism that she posted her exploit at 10:22 PM PST, less than half an hour after the crime was perpetrated. I suppose her haste was motivated by the fact that she expected to be HAILED in DUmmieland for her vandalism. However, much to her suprise, quite a few of the more rational DUmmies (who will soon be tombstoned) DENOUNCED her cheap criminal act. Suddenly DUmmie AtomicKitten changed her tune to one of nervous defensiveness. She expected us to believe that she ran a magic marker test on her own car to prove how easy it is to remove the markings. Of course, even if she did run such a test, she attempted the removal soon after making the marks which makes it much easier in stark contrast to the truck whose defacement was probably not discovered until the following day when the marker tint had dried. Then the desperate DUmmie AtomicKitten tried another last ditch defense by starting a new THREAD titled, "Poll question: Was this heinous vandalism or an act of civil disobedience?" Unbelievably DUmmie AtomicKitten wants to justify her crime by proving that it was merely civil disobedience as proclaimed by majority rule. Sorry, AtomicKitten, but you can't ease your conscience by polling. The fact is you have committed a cheap act of VANDALISM. Your guilty conscience has forced you to give many clues that will lead to your aprehension: Time of day, Diebold truck, Grocery store, etc.. It won't take long for an intrepid investigator in the San Francisco area to get in touch with Diebold, find out which truck was defaced, and then find out which grocery store it was at on January 9 at 10 PM. A quick review of the parking lot tape will REVEAL you in the act of DEFACEMENT. Such a tape will be played over and over again on the Web for our viewing pleasure. Even if there is no parking lot tape, there is definitely a tape of your son entering the grocery store at that time and by identifying his pic, the authories WILL track you down. Therefore I propose that you turn yourself in, DUmmie AtomicKitten, and avoid the humiliation of being hunted down like a trapped rat. You have until 6 PM on January 12 to turn yourself in to Diebold and offer to clean their fleet of trucks to make amends for your pathetic vandalism. If you do not do so, the Vast Rightwing Conspiracy Machine will be put into motion to track you down and see that you are frogwalked into the slammer. The pathetic defense of DUmmie AtomicKitten and her enablers are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, hoping that the San Francisco grocery store parking lot video camera was in good working order, is in the [brackets]:




Poll question: Was this heinous vandalism or an act of civil disobedience?




[Typical Democrat: Allowing matters of conscience to be decided by a poll.]




As advised by my attorney, gordontron, I am conducting a poll so I can get an accurate assessment of whether or not the browbeating I am getting is across-the-board or a simply a few vociferous critics.




[Gee! Why doesn't your attorney to advise you to do what is RIGHT rather than having the matter settled by pathetic polling?]




Refer to the thread here: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=132&topic_id=2359734&mesg_id=2359734




[In which you confessed your juvenile act of vandalism, DUmmie AtomicKitten.]




* points to consider *

the writing is removable
it was juvenile
Diebold had it coming
vandalism (however temporary) is WRONG
opportunity knocked, I answered




[you are a complete idiot]




Thanks for your time.




[Thanks for the laughs. And I notice that even over a third of all DUmmies voted you as a vandal.]




No offense, but this seems like attention whoring.
You already have a post dedicated to this situation. Let the responses there speak for themselves.




[DUmmie AtomicKitten made the original post expecting to be hailed unanimously in DUmmieland as a heroine. When that didn't happen, she began her nervous backtracking. This thread is part of her pathetic self-justification phase.]




Assuming there was no permanent damage to the vehicle ...
... what harm was done? The truck is probably washed every night any way. Besides, this would make a GREAT court case (not that I'm hoping that happens). You were not vandalizing, you were simply correcting their advertising to reflect what they actually DO. Let Diebold prove to a judge and jury that the statement was false, ergo you had no right to 'correct it'.





[I would love to see that scenario happen just so DUmmie AtomicKitten's legal bill will mount into the THOUSANDS.]




I just keep my balls taped to a piece of paper on my desk. It's obvious you take yours with you where ever you go.




[Your balls are kept in a lockbox.]




This was an act of minor vandalism. Had it been my truck vandalized by a Freeper, it would have been Heinous Vandalism. (Oh yeah, and I don't own a truck.) That said, vandalism of the property of private individuals isn't civil disobedience. Civil Disobedience is generally understood as non-violent, pre-meditated, public disobedience of government to draw attention to a cause, with the expectation of, or desire for, arrest, in protest to government actions or policies. All the vandal did was risk a beating if caught by the truck owner.




[That can still happen. Right now there is an ANGRY Diebold truck driver out there who had to spend time cleaning AtomicKitten's poop off his truck. He knows which grocery store he was at on Jan. 9 at 10 PM. A visit to that store and a review of the parking lot or store videotape would soon lead the trail to AtomicKitten. If not, then the Vast Rightwing Conspiracy Machine will handle that task after 6 PM Thursday.]




If it was some freepers truck it would have been wrong, but since it was Diebold...please people do you really think minor vandalism compares to helping steal elections? look at it this was, AtomicKitten committed an act of civil disobedience (or vandalism if you like), but Diebold has vandalized our election process




[You're her attorney, DUmmie gordontron? With dopey advice like that you should be disbarred.]




Miss Kitty...you did write the truth on both sides of the vehicle I trust..ROFL..you go woman..




[You go girl! Continue doing juvenile acts of vandalism.]




Only the side that was about 6 inches from my face
Perhaps you can understand why it had to be done; it was taunting me.




[You were that close to the Hedgehog, DUmmie AtomicKitten? And "it" was taunting you?'




Why did you brag about it? I saw the post and said great, but why the confession?




[Basically because DUmmie AtomicKitten is STUPID. She has given out enough info for the Vast Rightwing Conspiracy Machine to track her down for her frogwalk.]




Vandalism entails destruction; the ink was not permanent, therefore, I did not commit vandalism. I defaced the logo, a temporary condition remedied by a vigorous car wash. I'm sure Diebold will get over it. Apparently some of you stuffy sorts may not. And we all will never get over the effects of what the likes of Diebold have done to this country. My point exactly. And I don't see how a 75%/25% split in opinion constitutes a "pretty even balance." Must be that fuzzy math we've heard about.




[You can get 99% aupport in that dopey poll, DUmmie AtomicKitten, but it won't keep the Vast Rightwing Conspiracy Machine from hunting you down and frogwalking you into the arms of justice. Your ONLY option now to spare yourself the humiliation is to turn yourself in to Diebold before 6 PM tomorrow.]




Well, if somebody vandalizes your car I hope you're as happy about it. Vandalism is vandalism. Writing on trucks with a marker doesn't qualify as civil disobedience...it's just juvenile (and criminal).




[A RATIONAL post so prepare for you immminent tombstoning.]




I defaced the car, a non-permanent alteration; my actions could be construed as juvenile (some found it amusing but I have no doubt you will attach the worst possible attribute). I did not vandalize the car which entails destruction; my actions were not criminal.




[You won't even have a chance to finish that line of defense before the judge slams his gavel down and pronounces you GUILTY!]




If somebody writes "Democrats are Liars" in magic marker on your hood, I hope you'll have have the same sense of humor about it. Actually, depending on your individual state laws, your action very well may have been criminal. Vandalism is a crime. It's usually legally defined as "Damaging, destroying or defacing any property that is not one's own".




[I already checked California case law. According to Marey Carey vs Ron Jeremy, such petty vandalism IS a crime.]




There is a distinct legal difference
Vandalism entails destruction. If I had scratched what I wrote into the car, that would have been vandalism. I used the word "deface" in my OP because I altered the logo, but it was not permanent. I actually called my buddy in the SF police and inquired because of all you knuckleheads here, and it is just as I have said. Get over it. Seriously, some of you people at DU have absolutely no sense of humor. It's like you think you know everything about everything; you don't. It's like you choose up imaginary sides just to argue issues, inevitably going off on a tangent that is based on bullshit at best and usually nothing.




[Your buddy on the SF police department is now pissed off at you, DUmmie AtomicKitten, for getting him involved in the coverup of your crime.]




Regardless of what your friend may have told you, it's a crime in California (and everyplace else as far as I know).




[And California does NOT look kindly on grafitti at all.]




You can climb down off your high horse now. You clearly are incapable of grasping the levity of this, and as much as you try to inflict accusations of a crime being committed, the only crime here is your appalling lack of a sense of humor.




[AHAHAHAHAHA!!! Yes, I know I committed a crime but since it was done in the spirit of levity, that makes it okay. Tee! Hee!]




Aaarrrgggh. I told you. I called the SF police.
OK? I live in SF. As much as you would love to see me arrested, it ain't gonna happen. Get over it.




[Your arrest won't happen but only IF you turn yourself in to Diebold before 6 PM tomorrow.]




I have no interest in having you arrested, I've just seen posts where you accused people of being "retarded" for suggesting that you broke the law. Perhaps the label has been misplaced. According to California Penal Code Section 594, you DID break the law. Despite your claims that the SFPD feel otherwise, the link to the code has been posted and your action was a clear violation. This has nothing to do with turning a "light-hearted thread" into anything. It has to do with your need to create TWO posts bragging about the incident and insulting anybody who didn't congratulate you. Wanna talk about "get a life"?




[This is Joe Friday. You are in violation of California Penal Code Section 594. Care to fill us in as to who your accomplices were? And just the facts, ma'am.]




The illegality of vandalizing a truck aside, there are people here who don't find the practice of defacing other people's property funny. It doesn't mean that they have no sense of humor, that they don't have a life or that they're not warm and open-minded. It means that they don't feel vandalism is an appropriate way to express your feelings about Diebold.




[KILLJOY!]





I'm an adult, well-educated woman living in SF. But it just happened like any other normal natural sequence of events. It was almost as if I couldn't not do it, like I was putting something back into place. Very strange experience.




[DUmmie AtomicKitten using the space/time continuum defense. Even the California New Agers won't be buying into that spaced out defense.]




You clearly have need for attention..... If it wasn't a big deal(to you at least) to begin with, why the poll to validate yourself?




[Please, PLEASE validate my crime!]




Just curious...what the reaction would be if some freeper asshole used a marker (temporary or otherwise) to "engage in civil disobedience" on the side of a Sara Lee truck...or a Costco truck...hmmm...I wonder how that would play out....




[Fascist rightwing Freeper engages in crude act of political thuggery. Congressional investigation DEMANDED!!!]




It was vandalism...
It was not your property. Would you want that done to your property? You said your son was with you, are you sure that's the lesson you want to teach him?



[Hey Sonny Boy! Watch as your Mumsy commits a juvenile act of pathetic vandalism. I hope you take after me someday.]

3 Comments:

Blogger ntk said...

I'm an adult, well-educated woman living in SF.

... who names herself after a godawful British girl group. Talk about no taste!

10:13 AM  
Blogger Staci said...

LOL, I forwarded this to some folks I know in SF. What a moron to publish this.

10:00 AM  
Anonymous MrsGrumpy said...

You have nothing better to do than obsess over an internet site and its members? I think Temporary Sock Puppet isn't really the one with the problem here.

6:44 AM  

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