Tuesday, August 30, 2005

DUmmie FUnnies 08-30-05 ("Hurricane Katrina proves that Bush must be IMPEACHED, and NOW")

The DUmmies NEVER fail to entertain. In their last Katrina thread, the DUmmies were defending the looters. Now they have gone completely OFF THE WALL with this self-explanatory THREAD titled, "Hurricane Katrina proves that Bush must be IMPEACHED, and NOW." Yes, I can just picture the impeachment proceedings. The same Democrats who loudly proclaimed that perjury is NOT grounds for impeachment will now put forth the proposition that failure to prevent a hurricane is an impeachable offense. Therefore, in the future, every president who happens to be an EVIL Republican will fear the appearance of tropical depressions in the Atlantic since some of them grow into hurricanes thus providing grounds for their impeachment. So let us analzye the Mental Front blowing out of DUmmieland in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, who sat out Impeachable Offense Katrina, sipping white rum, is in the [brackets]:

Hurricane Katrina proves that Bush must be IMPEACHED, and NOW

[Bring on Barney Frank to make the case for impeachment! He's an expert on blowing winds.]

Just watch the FReepers howl: "Do the DUmmies think Bush can prevent hurricanes? Will they claim he LIHOP'ed Katrina like they claim he LIHOP'ed 9/11?"

[No. The Freepers will claim that Bush MIHOPed Katrina and watched the Storm Coverage at the local IHOP.]

No President can prevent a hurricane, but a competent President can prepare for the inevitable so that, when a natural disaster occurs, he can direct government relief agencies to respond accordingly. George W. Bush has proven, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that he is unfit to sit in the Oval Office.

[Bush should have sent relief trucks filled with food into the path of Katrina so all the chow could have been ruined by the flood waters.]

Because he is so obsessed with plundering Iraq on the behalf of Halliburton, Monsanto, and all the rest, the National Guardsmen who would have been on hand to help their fellow Louisianians are located half a globe away. So is their high-water equipment, which would be better served in the streets of New Orleans than in the damaged marshes of southern Iraq.

[Funny. I thought that the problem with the marshes in Iraq is that they LACK water due to drainage by Saddam to punish the Marsh Arabs. Of course, only EVIL Republicans purposely destroy the environment so perhaps there is some other explanation.]

Louisiana, Alabama, and Mississippi are hurting. Badly. And where is Bush now that the red states need him?

[Bush is having a grand time golfing with his Halliburton and Exxon buddies...at least in DUmmie Mythology.]

See? Thought so. Impeach this Coca-Cola cowboy now.

[The impeachment proceedings will take place at the DUmmie Sanitarium. And now let us hear the other DUmmies chime in on the heels of the comedy act of DUmmie derby378.]

In total agreement, derby. In fact,
I was all for this action years ago!

[A soothsayer predicted the arrival of Katrina in 2003. Grounds for impeachment a couple of years ago.]

Puts the "War on Terror" in prospective, doesn't it?
While we are chasing non-existant boogeymen in the ME (fattening the profits of the War Profiteers and Big Oil), we are in a much weaker position to deal with the true Terror - a natural disaster like Katrina. When will the idiots wake up and see this? A single storm of Katrina's size is more destruction by several orders of magnitude than a band of terrorists could ever hope to wreck on this country. If this doesn't underscore the conceptual ridiculousness of the WOT, nothing will.

[I'm surprised we don't greet Al Qaeda terrorists with comfy mats upon their arrival in the USA.]

He was golfing as Katrina was touching down...
is this compassionate conservativism?? Attempting to make par while New Orleans floods??

[Or maybe, given the path of Katrina, he was only gulfing.]

Golfing, eating cake, strumming a guitar.
I guess he was having fun on vacation.

[Playing Scrabble, whistling, web surfing, munching on Famous Amos, and performing a sacred Hopi Indian chant.]

That's the thing
I, as just an unknown person out there, have been glued to the coverage and worried about those people out there. I can barely even get away from it for a few hours, so it's unfathomable to believe the president can just give it a 5 minute spot and 'go on with his life'. Sickening.

[It appears to me that rather than being glued to the coverage, you became UNGLUED years ago.]

For GOD'S SAKE! The hurricane hit RED STATES. I wonder how the Bush voters in them feel about his indifference?

[Bush personally didn't canoe to the flooded homes in the middle of the storm. RECKLESS INDIFFERENCE!!!]

All LIHOP/MIHOP all the time. He must stand trial in the Hague.

[All MENTAL/INSANE all the time.]

The nation is sick, diseased. It's leader is sick, diseased, and so the nation has become sickened and diseased. Sickened by denial of fundamental reality; strangled by secrecy and mass dysfunction on every level. The massacre of its environment, resources, it's very fundamental unity. Because the leader is sickened, diseased, the soul of the nation is sickened and diseased, starved by lies and dying because of a lost war a world away that is based on lies.
The nation has become sickened, diseased.

[Thus spaketh a sickened, diseased mind.]

He COULD have prevented the hurricane
Not all hurricanes, of course, but at least some of them... and lessened the impact of those that did happen. Much of the action that occurs in the Atlantic during hurricane season is Bush's fault. If he'd paid attention to the environment at all, there would be about 50% less hurricane activity in the Atlantic. And if he paid more attention to the Gulf Coast, New Orleans wouldn't be sinking at the rate of 3 feet a century. If Bush had any ability to lead in his head, he'd have had New Orleans shored up long ago.

[If Al Gore were president, he could have prevented Hurricane Katrina.]

Monday, August 29, 2005

DUmmie FUnnies 08-29-05 (DUmmies POLITICIZE Hurricane Katrina)

Please forgive me, DUmmies. I figured that even you folks wouldn't politicize Hurricane Katrina. Well, apparently I underestimated you as can be seen in this DUmmie THREAD titled, "Looters." It turns out that the DUmmies are ANGRY at the National Guard for keeping people from looting. The DUmmie author of this thread presents that the absurd case that people loot mainly for food. Um, no. Sorry DUmmie but looters are opportunists that will mostly loot high ticket items like electronic equipment, jewelry, etc.. Food is actually rather LOW on their loot list. Why? Because emergency shelters and relief organizations will give food FREE to people in hurricane disaster areas. However, let us now watch as the DUmmies, namely undergroundpanther turn this whole issue of preventing looting into a politicized class warfare scenario. As usual, the waterlogged DUmmie postings are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, who survived Hurricane Katrina when it was merely in a Category One stage is in the [brackets]:


[Uh-Oh. Stand by for Class Warfare Idiocy based on Hurricane Katrina care of the DUmmies.]

The fact the national guard is keeping people from FOOD shows we are NOT living in a democracy,the Rich people's THINGS must be protected from starving people!!Remember the french revolution,the rich make sure the lower class suffers and is desperate,the middle class is scared of poor people,the soldiers are bribed obedient and loyal,. That is how they say rich and on our backs.Fuck all the corporate pigs. F*cking assholes!Disaster shows us the true use of our military is to PROTECT PROPERTY of corporations above human life, to keep the rich secure people DIE.

[SNIFF! Looters have RIGHTS too! Damn the National Guard people for keeping them from exercising their sacred right to loot.]

I say Eat the rich people if they will not let you get food.Roast them on a spit and share the bounty.They have been fed on the finest organic foods.*sarcasm*

[DUmmie undergroundpanther, I believe you have a dinner date with Hannibal Lecter.]

Damn I am pissed. Let the people EAT..What happened soldier to defending life? Life comes before property IF you are not a sociopath scum bag.Don't obey wealthy scumbags posing as"leaders".Sheesh.

[You want the people to EAT? Then just show up at an emergency shelter. If not, relief food will be arriving on trucks. Somehow I don't think the search for carbs is the big issue with looters. It's more like the search for cash. But now that you presented some great comedy material, DUmmie undergroundpanter, let us read more of your laugh DUmmie undergroundpanther.]

Most of us live...
...two weeks from cannibalism. Looting for food is trivial in comparison.I'd agree that it's a little soon for that, but if the Nat'l Guard isn't in there feeding everyone very soon, rest assured that the people will "find" food themselves.

[If it was a choice between dining on Helen Thomas and starvation, I would definitely opt for the latter option.]

And A few hot plasma TV's
Sold at a pawn shop ,could make for a couple months of prepaid existance..like food and rent an security deposit while you move out and look for work in a new place swarming with other refugees also looking for work while out of town.And in this shitty republican economy getting work is not so easy now..Didya ever consider THAT might be a reason for stealing plasma TV's?

[Would that be the same reason as stealing a Bose Wave Radio?]

Is humane if it is the only thing you can do to get the formula you need to feed a child.

[The only reason why the looters take the plasma TVs is because they are blocking the baby formula.]

F*ck the wealthy's property..Look if I can't find a way to survive in coming weeks of the aftermath without taking it.. I'll take..Welfare checks will not be coming on time dude. Have you ever been desperate or not?With that haughty tone,I guess you have never been desperate and dreading the future with no way out of a dire situation before.

[Things could be worse, DUmmie undergroundpanther. Perhaps your parent's basement will be flooded out, thus preventing you from posting your comedy material on the Web.]

This is looting for greed, not survival. It's BS and it should be stopped by any force required. These people are making a bad situation FAR worse.


If I had a baby
and I was on welfare and my house was gone,and the mail was not going to be running for a long time,damn straight I'd take food for me and my kid,diapers,and some more to give to others,I'd take stuff to make a shelter with,garbage bags utensils,blankets,a radio( for news) and something dry to sleep on, a crib maybe,flashlights,candles,lighters,fuel, batteries,water and ice,medicine..fresh clothes,sunscreen(all the trees are gone) tampons birth control pills,oh and I would take money and valuables because you can buy shit or trade for you need from others with it once the stores are guarded.Because the checks would be delayed,a glitch in the comptuer system can delay welfare checks for months, So a ruined SS building could delay it much longer.People with no money need to survive somehow. Don't get haughty and moralistic here.Things change in the way you think about"property" and the woes of rich folks losses.. when you need to survive.

[Don't forget about looting that all-important plasma TV, DUmmie undergroundpanther. It is CRUCIAL for survival.]

The humane thing to do would be to make sure the people ALL OF THEM have access to food, shelter,a place to sleep, baby care items,medicine and water/ice first.GIVE IT AWAY,Let People take it.Let go of the game of ownership and class because it is hindering people 's survival..

[How's this for a humane thing to do, DUmmie undergroundpanther? I find your parent's basement and I steal their plasma TV.]

DUmmie F

Wednesday, August 24, 2005

DUmmie FUnnies 08-24-05 (DUmmies STILL Obsessed By Karl Rove)

Lost in all the hullabaloo over Cindy Sheehan, is the fact of the continuing DUmmie obsession with Karl Rove. If anybody has noticed, almost all Rove threads have disappeared in favor of the Crawford Ditch Melodrama in which Cindy Sheehan, unbeknownst to the Democrats is in the process of causing them permanent damage due to her political radioactivity as noted by Rush Limbaugh today. As a reminder of how Karl Rove complete possesses the minds of the DUmmies, we have this THREAD titled, "A plea to STOP this 'We can't sink to Rove's level' BULLSHIT." The level in which Karl Rove has possessed the narrow DUmmie minds is quite hilarious. Oh, and I predict that when the Cindy Sheehan thing completely backfires on the Democrats, the DUmmies will claim that she was a secret Rovian Agent. Yes, Karl Rove dug up complete crackpot to be the new rallying leader for the Democrats and is now in the process of gleefully gloating over how the radioactive Cindy is poisoning the opposition. All is going according to the Rove Plan. So now let us view the DUmmie Karl Rove obsession in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, watching as they enter a Perfect Rovian Storm, is in the [brackets]:

A plea to STOP this "We can't sink to Rove's level" BULLSHIT.

[Wierd! This is actually a version of PRAISE from the DUmmies. They actually want to emulate Rove. Of course, this is the beauty of the Rove Strategy. He has the DUmmies so CONFUSED that they don't even KNOW what the Rove Strategy really is.]

I was HERE during the 2004 election.
RIGHT HERE, on DU.I REMEMBER how threads questioning John Kerry's campaign were greeted:

[The secret hand signal when Kerry adjusted his tie is proof that he knew what he was doing.]

I REMEMBER when I posted a thread about a phone call I made to the local Kerry headquarters. When I asked the person on the other end of the phone if Senator Kerry REALLY UNDERSTOOD his opponent...that it WAS NOT George W. Bush, it was Karl Rove...and if Senator Kerry TRULY UNDERSTOOD the depths to which Rove was willing to sink.

[I REMEMBER the laughter from the other end of the phone line.]

I REMEMBER the DU poster who replied to my thread, telling me that my phone call took that Kerry operator from VALUABLE RESPONSIBILITIES that were MORE IMPORTANT than MY CALL.

[That Kerry operator could have been more usefully occupied ordering extra large jockstraps for Kerry. Got that? EXTRA LARGE!!!]

We need to STOP THAT KIND OF SHIT. We need to QUESTION people who are not adequately prepared to SLAY THE F*CKING DRAGON.
I don't CARE if you like the fact that it's Karl Rove's playing field.
IT IS. That's how that WORTHLESS, A.W.O.L., substance-abusing, Oedipal, DRY DRUNK COWARD MOTHERFU**ING POS in the White House got TWO TERMS.
Because it's KARL ROVE'S GAME.
James Carville was a F*CKING CLOWN during the 2004 election.
He went on cable news to giggle and bitch-slap Tucker Eskew, but was he prepared to FIGHT?

[NOBODY put a trashcan over his own head better than James Carville.]

So let's KNOCK OFF this "we can't sink to Rove's level" CRAP, and accept the fact that if we want to win in 2008, we need to drive a fucking stake through the heart of the lead vampire.
The lead vampire is Karl Rove.
Accept it, or bend over for President Frist.

[More likely you will be bending over for President Cheney or President Allen. But now let us hear the Rove OBSESSION from your fellow DUmmies.]

Hey, I'm all for burning his ashes.
But, in case you haven't noticed, Rove's supposed genius has backfired upon him in the Valarie Plame scandal. There really is such a thing as going too far to ruin your enemies.All I can say is wait and see what Fitzgerald comes out with. If it's an indictment with Rove's name on it, then that is when we must throw everything in the book at him, including the book itself. Let there be no doubt in anyone's mind from that very moment on that the man is a treasonous coward, and deserves to rot in jail for the rest of his pathetic life.

[And when there is NO indictment with Rove's name on it, methinks you will crawl into a corner and rot in the fetal position for the rest of your pathetic life.]

He IS a treasonous coward, but as long as Bush defends him...
...there's avery real chance that this treasonous coward could walk away without a SCRATCH, and become the "architect" of the 2008 presidential election.Are we REALLY prepared for that, or are we willing to do whatever we need ot do to BRING HIM DOWN?

[Including the favorite Democrat tactics of lie, cheat, and steal.]

the rove scandal hasn't concluded yet, but if i
were to place my bets and to do so based on past experience, i'd say that not much will happen to him. worse case scenario, he'll resign his position. but don't even think that'll stop him. he's already proven his mettle to these bastards. they'll continue to consult with him, it's just that they'll do so on the DL. at least for a little while.

[Worst case scenario: Karl Rove will be forced to listen to a recitation of the Desderata.]

Dem leaders have no excuse for sitting on their thumbs, doing nothing. They are rudderless and lazy.

[And this DUmmie wins a Kewpie Doll for having a brief moment of mental clarity!]

I'd feel sorry for the person at Kerry HQ
I was that person sometimes. We were just shmucks on the phone, and yet we'd get calls like that as if we had a direct line to the guy. "Tell Kerry to stop being so negative or I won't vote for him! You tell him that!"

[Nice to hear from the Kerry Phone Shmucks.]

I've been that peon too
I've been that peon too. It's a definite eye-opener to the whole process. And no, us peons don't have a direct line to the candidate. But we do volunteer our time to get out there and knock on doors, make phone calls, talk to people and really get a sense of what it's like out there.

[And now we hear from a Kerry peon. BTW, how often did Kerry Pee On you?]

I say step up the Rovian maneuvers
We know the vulgar pigboy and his dirty tricks. I am fully into fighting fire with fire. It's the only way we will even tread water in their presence. Quiet dignity is BS. I saw let's get our hands dirty.

[Is that you, Robert Torricelli?]

Screaming NAKED from the rooftop
and STILL ...nobody believes me.

[That's because nobody can quit laughing at your Wee Willie.]

Multiple types of attacks from many directions. It's important to keep them off balance. Always do the unexpected, and really, how difficult can it be to lure such greedy, selfserving SOB's into compromising and destructive situations? Also, much of their arrogance comes from their sense of being powerful enough to control everything. That's why it is imperative to attack them from all directions to disrupt that feeling of control.

[Yeah. That's the ticket. Lash out blindly in all directions and make yourselves laughingstocks. Make fools of yourselves. That is how we get our sense of being powerful enough to control everything.]

We need to bitchslap the Rovian tactics down to the ground EVERYTIME they are thrown at us.

[One Rovian tactic is to get you folks so paranoid about Rove that you waste your time lashing out at a phantom of your own imaginations.]

Thursday, August 18, 2005

DUmmie FUnnies 08-18-05 ("The A.N.S.W.E.R. Problem")

One of the truly entertaining (and educational) things about watching C-SPAN live coverage of Leftist events is seeing the flat out nutcases crawl out of the woodwork and take the center stage. Such is the case with the Communist A.N.S.W.E.R. They don't put on a phony "concerned progressive" face as many other leftwing groups do. They let it ALL hang out in all their lunacy. This is why the MSM usually avoids showing the A.N.S.W.E.R. speakers in favor of some motherly types. However, it is impossible to avoid the A.N.S.W.E.R. extremists when viewing these events on C-SPAN which is why DUmmie earthmama posted this THREAD titled, "The A.N.S.W.E.R. Problem." Apparently DUmmie earthmama is worried that A.N.S.W.E.R. will cause the September 24 Leftist rally (aka the NEXT Day When Everything Finally Changed) to be discredited. Don't worry, DUmmie earthmama, your fellow DUmmies have ALREADY discredited everything they have attempted. And if you think the A.N.S.W.E.R. folks are in Deep Wacko City, then take a close look at your fellow DUmmies. In fact, I suspect that quite a few A.N.S.W.E.R. folks already have DUmmie screen names such as mopaul or Indiana Green (note: I am NOT trolling as Indiana Green in DUmmieland). Therefore let us watch the loonie DUmmies argue over the looniness of A.N.S.W.E.R. in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, making sure to RECORD the September 24 comedy event, is in the [brackets]:

The A.N.S.W.E.R. Problem

[aka The DUmmie Problem.]

I went to the local vigil last night and was handed a flyer for the Sept 24th protest. I was planning on going to the DC protest, actually had a hotel reserved but after receiving this flyer, I decided to cancel my trip. WHY?

On this flyer from A.N.S.W.E.R., the top of it read "STOP THE WAR IN IRAQ." You betcha. But then it says:

- Support Palestinian people right of return

- End Colonial Occupation: Iraq, Palestine, Haiti

- US out of the Philippines

- US out of Puerto Rico

[If this bothers you, then perhaps you should TOMBSTONE yourself from DUmmieland. However, continue your meaningless whine, DUmmie earthmama...]

This is looking like a repeat of the Oct 25, 2003 march in San Francisco. I was there at the font of the march and had volunteered to carry an A.N.S.W.E.R. banner. Imagine my surprise when, expecting to carry something about bringing our troops home, I was instead handed a big green "Free Palestine" banner. Huh?

[This also looks like a REPEAT of quite a few DUmmie threads. Continue...]

I think A.N.S.W.E.R. needs to learn something about setting priorities and focusing efforts on one thing at a time. While I am certainly sympathetic to many of their other causes, in order to be effective we need to focus our energy on one thing at at time. We are marching in DC against the war in Iraq. Not against the Palestinian occupation. Not about Haiti. Puerto Rico? With all these mixed messages, we on the left wind up looking like disorganized clowns to the media, and they slant their reporting to reflect this perception. We need middle America to hear our voice ABOUT THIS ONE CAUSE. With all the other crap being protested we are going to wind up looking like we do not have our bolts screwed in right.

We are at a turning point in the country thanks to Cindy Sheehan. We need to do this right. We can not afford to make any mistakes here.

[Perhaps you should check first with Cindy Sheehan. Under the influence of George Soros, MoveOn.Org, and your fellow DUmmies, she AGREES with most of the A.N.S.W.E.R. platform.]

When you see the freepers protesting, misguided as they are they at least do it right. They don't dilute their message by trying to heap on every right wing grievance at once. They are there for one cause and one cause only, and they stick to their Rovian talking points. Simple-minded and evil, but effective.

[I guess you are taking my advice about Tombstoning yourself. When you say anything nice about Freepers you risk being excommunicated from DUmmieland.]

Please keep these protests focused on the war in Iraq. Once we win this, then we can "move on" to the next issue. Success breeds success.

I am calling A.N.S.W.E.R. today to voice my concerns and I hope more of you will join me.

["Hello, A.N.S.W.E.R? Um, could you either disappear or not act wacky on Sept. 24? Well, good luck, DUmmie earthmama and now let us hear from your fellow DUmmies are are no less loony than A.N.S.W.E.R.]

The poster in a sense is PANDERING to those news monopolies who have done such disservice to the American people, in every way--from acting as government propaganda shills for the war, to trumpeting rightwing minority views as the "mainstream." We MUST learn to IGNORE them--and how they portray demonstrators--NOT pander to them. They WILL distort and marginalize, NO MATTER WHAT banners people carry. Please understand this.

To most of the world, Palestine IS the point. We are the only people in the world who don't get it--because we have been so poorly informed about it. The unjust shoving aside of the Palestinian people, to make way for the Israeli homeland, and the Bush Cartel's carte blanche to Israel to shove them around some more--to build a wall around them!--as part of a Bush Cartel "grand design" to dominate the world and grab all of its remaining oil resources, is the HEART OF THE MATTER to just about everybody but the mis-informed and dis-informed American people.

[Is that you, Cindy Sheehan?]

I agree with your feelings about this entirely. I wouldn't go near ANSWER with a million mile pole if I could help it.

[Then you better not look at the Speakers' Stage on Sept. 24 because the A.N.S.W.E.R. folks will be front and center up there.]

This has always been a problem imho
answer is very good at organizing events, and more power to them.But when their speakers are on C Span,I cringe.

[When I see A.N.S.W.E.R. on C-SPAN, I APPLAUD because the viewers get to see the TRUE face of the Left, not the sanitized version presented in the highly edited MSM format.]

Just like Susan Estrich on FOX - they exist to make fools out of us...useful idiots!!!

[Are you claiming that EVIL rightwingers force-fed champagne to Susan Estrich on Election Night to make her look like an idiot?]

Don't want any free Mumia. It's stringy and tough to digest.

[And I suppose the "stolen" Diebold ballots are easier to swallow?]

I think the media focus more on them
because they do make us look like fools that can not get our shit together

[Don't worry. DUmmies make themselves look like fools without any help.]

ANSWER's strategy is plain for those who wish to see it. They are purely a Leninist organization, and they want there to be a broad anti-war movement but with the leaders of ANSWER calling all of the shots. This approach is not any different from the strategies voiced by Lenin in his famous papers, "What is to be done?" and "Letters on Tactics". In short, the ANSWER folks believe in a revolutionary elite that will seize power and dictate the revolution to those below. They are the revolutionary elite, everyone else is "those below".

[Thank you for that accurate description of DUmmieland.]

International ANSWER needs to get out of the way and new leadership needs to step in to lead the protest movement. When I go to a Cindy vigil I do not want to hear about Free Mumia, Palestine, police brutality, who's on death row, smaller class sizes. It's unbelievably incompetent and freaking ridiculous. I will not attend another event sponsored by ANSWER. They're an embarrassment to this movement.

[In that case your attendance at the NEXT Day When Everything Finally Changed is no longer required.]

We have to overwhelm them with numbers. We simply have to be in the streets to show that voter fraud is a real issue. There is no substitute.
Answer has been doing this crap for along time and of course a muscle solution at a Peace Rally is absurd.

[You complain about A.N.S.W.E.R. diverting attention from the main issue (getting out of Iraq) and now you claim the real issue is "voter fraud?"]

It's tough. Do you want a focused protest, or do you want 500,000 people to show up? ANSWER puts butts in the seats, and they do so by throwing the door wide open to all comers. It is scattered as hell, but I'd rather have 500,000 protesters come for an important march than a few thousand who are focused.

[That was Pied Piper Pitt opting for EXPEDIENCY by supporting A.N.S.W.E.R. Hey, Pitt, the A.N.S.W.E.R. loons don't sound any nuttier than you with your dopey theory about the Third American Empire. BTW, will you be wearinig skintight leather chaps to go with your black Midnight Cowboy costume on Sept. 24?]

The only reason anyone in DC gets excited about left-wing marches these days is that there is a good chance you can hook up with the sophomore from Michigan State again. She comes to town for every one of these and always has a little bit too much to drink on Saturday night.

[Is that you, Steve2470?]

The rally I went to in Union Square was hijacked by ANSWER
They brought their own mike. They gave speeches. They ruined the event.


damnit! every time there is big demo, there is SOMETHING that inspires people to attempt to discourage others from going.

[Are there fire ants in DC?]

I'm writing to A.N.S.W.E.R. today to express my admiration of all they've accomplished and to thank them for having been/being at the forefront of the antiwar movement despite the not-so-very progressives who think justice can sit around waiting to be taken up one cause at a time.

["Dear A.N.S.W.E.R. Thank you for being as nutty as the DUmmies."]

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

DUmmie FUnnies 08-16-05 ("I think the tipping point has been reached")

If you have ever wondered why the DUmmies continually act like Charlie Brown attempting to kick the football that Lucy inevitably pulls away, this THREAD titled, “I think the tipping point has been reached” gives the explanation as to why they won’t quit trying. They think that THIS TIME is when Lucy won’t yank away the football. THIS TIME the Acme Co. package WON’T blow up in the DUmmie Coyote’s face. And when they go flying into the air AGAIN and hear the Road Runner go “BEEP! BEEP” into the distance, why will dust themselves off AGAIN in the belief that the very next time will prove to be that oh so elusive tipping point. As usual, the DUmmie aspirations are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, kicking up a bit of Road Runner dust, is in the [brackets]:

I think the tipping point has been reached.

[I thought that was back on June 16, the Day When Everything Finally Changed.]

You can sense it at parties, on the street, in the stores and in the general mood of th the public. I have heard, "Did you see the profit that Exxon is pulling down?" during discussions of gas prices. I have heard numerous Bush supporters, including a friend I have been unable to budge for years, say they're fed up with the war and the economy and the lies and the scandals. I am hearing much concern that Iran will be next with no one but no one voicing approval. I'm even hearing jokes about the ever-vacationing president.

[You forgot to include the standard DUmmie “observation” about how some Republican aunt or uncle is finally coming around to thinking about opposing Bush.]

The tide is turning. You can feel it.

[And you felt it on June 16, November 1, and the evening CBS broadcast the letters about Bush’s Texas Air National Guard service. Please copy your “tide is turning” statement above and paste it into notepad for the many times you will use it in the future.]

You can definietly feel it. It's a lot different then before when people said it. The tied was turning but now there's a different sense and everything.

[All those other times, such as June 16 the Day When Everything Finally Changed were different. This time really really is the Day When Everything Finally Changed. However, just in case, I am copying and pasting this reply into my notepad in case I need to use it AGAIN.]

I can feel it! Smell it in the wind!

[Feel it! Smell it! Essence of The Day When Everything Finally Changed. Now available at your local perfume shop.]

Yawn. Heard it all before, I'm afraid. I'll believe it when I see it. Right now the smart money is on further gains by the Repukes in 06 followed by another repuke in OUR White House in 08, if dumbya doesn't find a way to cancel elections altogether. I'll wait for proof the day after the elections before believing "this is it" ever again. Sorry to burst your bubble.

[And this DUmmie wins a Kewpie Doll for having a brief moment of mental clarity!]

gas prices and war converge to snap us out of our hypnosis

[But, but, DUmmie mopaul. How could oil prices be going up if this war was about oil as you have often claimed?]

ExxonMobil, the biggest American oil company is small potatoes compared to the top 12 state-owned oil producers. Saudi Arabian Oil Company BY ITSELF control about 10 times as much oil as ExxonMobile. In terms of production, ExxonMobil actually looks better. They appear to be able to produce oil more efficiently than many state run oil companies. But it still amounts to about 2% of world oil production.


Ain't it funny how post 9-11 "Islamic" terrorist attacks only happen in Western nations when it's politically expedient for the government at the time?

[LIHOP. But don’t use that term out loud in DUmmieland since Skinner, in a weird attempt to mainstream his forum, has banned posting it.]

I've always noticed that in September...people seem to be more receptive to political messages (whether positive or negative)... perhaps because it is after a long holiday, and people are starting back to school or otherwise getting more serious about their work. And there's more eyes on tv... with the new tv season starting.

[Didn’t See-BS broadcast the phony Bush Texas Air National Guard letters last September? I remember a huge amount of gloat that day in DUmmieland…until a LOUSY FREEPER finally set the record straight.]

of course you're right, even my mom said it's coming soon

[The Apocalypse?]

I think that whatever the bastards cook up next is going to make 9-11 look like child's play.

[LIHOP on steroids. Or is it MIHOP on steroids?]

Nuclear, biological, or chemical. That would be pretext enough to declare martial law, and if that happens, do you really think that there are going to be enough pissed off people to march on Washington with weapons and take back the country?

[Yeah. Bush will sprinkle the country with nuclear, biological, or chemical weapons to boost his poll numbers. This is a rational premise...but ONLY in DUmmieland.]

Well, I plan to openly oppose the Pres and call for his...resignation if another 9/11 occurs. I won't care about my own life at that point. The nation will matter far more.

[DUmmie stevietheman acting like Mr. Bravery despite the fact that there is absolutely NO risk involved.]

The next 911-type activity will be used for one purpose and one purpose only. To declare martial law so that the mission will be accomplished and the coup will be complete. When it is over, there will not be a country known as the United States anymore. At least not one we will recognize.
I think that men in power (military and CIA) are aware of what is going on and hopefully they will try to stop it. God (if you believe in him) help us all if they can't.

[Your butterfly net is in the mail.]

Every drop in poll numbers makes me cringe as that time gets closer with those drops. The traitors and criminals are in WAY to deep to ever allow themselves to be out of power. Think Jimmy Cagney type gangester characters: You'll never take me alive, Copper! Only the junta spends the lives of others and doesn't have any qualms about doing so.

[You’ll never take me alive, DUmmie!]

CALL the media (T.V. RADIO, NEWSPAPERS) AND MOST OF ALL, CALL THE CONGRESS - JAM THE PHONE LINES, and say you hope these stories circulating about why General Byrnes was really fired, and the Aug. 17, Aug. 22, etc. nuke 'drills' are not true, but that the American people will NOT BE FOOLED AGAIN - like we were on 9/11.
TELL THEM THAT WE WILL KNOW WITHOUT A DOUBT, THAT IF WE ARE NUKED HERE ON OUR SOIL, THAT IT WILL BE A GOVERNMENT INSIDE JOB, JUST LIKE 9/11 WAS !! This is the ONLY way they can pull off bombing Iran, and starting a NEW WAR without Congressional approval.. THe stage is being set for this to happen. G.W.'s words reveal his intentions . For God's sake, let's DO SOMETHING THIS WEEK TO RAISE AWARENESS !
Any other ideas ?

[Yeah. I have an idea. Please include your home address in all those messages to the media warning them of the Operation Chicken Little attack about the Falling Sky so the men in the white coats know where to go to pick you up.]

We need to compile all evidence for this in one spot. If we want this theory to be easily explainable by those who would contact the media, we need to have all the backup material.

[You can compile all the evidence for this in the Happy Farms Asylum guest registry.]

Quite frankly...This is a bit much
Nuking South Carolina? I highly doubt it--Why would bushco nuke a red state?

[Nuking South Carolina? Been there. Done that. It already happened about 20 years ago on a TV show. And now I know one of the sources that inspires DUmmie paranoia.]

I don't know/I am a MIHOPer but even I can't easily embrace this. Hopefully I'm right! But to clarify I am certainly not saying anyone with a differing opinion from mine on this topic is nuts--NOTHING would shock me about this group of murdering thieves at this point.

[I’m an IHOPer and nothing would shock me about the nuttiness of the DUmmies at this point.]

The sheeple are too stupid to make intelligent decisions. 2004 should have been a calkwalk for the dems, but the sheeple would have nothing of it - too many of them made it possible to be stolen - again, if not outright elected that time.

[Stupid STUPID people. Why oh why do they keep voting for Republicans when the Bolshevik Democrats are such a great alternative?]

Causes me to reflect that Bush has eased off on the fear pedal since the election, and people are now probably a bit more relaxed. This would allow him to ramp up the fear machine nicely just in time for the 2006 elections, without putting people past the tipping point.

[Bush Fear Machine---The hottest video game since Grand Theft Ohio.]

I sense a sea change, and I don't think it is going to subside. People are waking up, and the only thing that will distract them at this point is lower gas prices and a decrease in fatalities in the sandbox and Afghanistan...and those greedy pigs are not gonna make that happen! Blood for oil, and when you get the oil, keep the profits at the max. I continue to hope, and fight, and work for change--we gotta. It's either that or leave, or curl up and die. Not quite yet....

[Is that you, Helen Thomas?]

Monday, August 15, 2005

DUmmie FUnnies 08-15-05 ("Is Bush Out of Control?")

Talk about the pot calling the kettle black. The WACKO DUmmies are actually "worried" that Bush is out of control as you can see in this DUmmie THREAD titled, "Is Bush Out of Control? Capital Hill Blue today." This from the same clowns composed of wackos such as mopaul and benburch among SCORES of other sanity deprived denizens of DUmmieland. So they think Bush is out of control? Did he wear a black Midnight Cowboy outfit in the hot Texas sun while walking around barefoot to allow his feet to be attacked by fire ants? Is Bush declaring that a Third American Empire began during the 1980 Olympic hockey victory over the Soviets when the fans began yelling "USA! USA!"? Actually all the speculation (and hope) that Bush has gone nuts is based entirely on rumor. So let us watch the nutcase DUmmies praying for a Bush Meltdown in Bolshevik Red, while the commentary of your humble correspondent, watching the DUmmies go COMPLETELY out of control EVERY DAY, is in the [brackets]:

Is Bush Out of Control? Capital Hill Blue today

[Are the DUmmies Out of Control? Yes, Every Day.]

Buy beleaguered, overworked White House aides enough drinks and they tell a sordid tale of an administration under siege, beset by bitter staff infighting and led by a man whose mood swings suggest paranoia bordering on schizophrenia.

[Buy me 18 year old Flor de Caña rum and I will probably tell you anything to keep the bartender pouring.]

They describe a President whose public persona masks an angry, obscenity-spouting man who berates staff, unleashes tirades against those who disagree with him and ends meetings in the Oval Office with “get out of here!”

[Those aides sound like they are describing Hillary. All they want is for you to keep pouring out the Flor de Caña.]

In fact, George W. Bush’s mood swings have become so drastic that White House emails often contain “weather reports” to warn of the President’s demeanor. “Calm seas” means Bush is calm while “tornado alert” is a warning that he is pissed at the world.

[Hillary was on PERMANENT tornado alert, especially when she slashed Bubba's face with her nails.]

Decreasing job approval ratings and increased criticism within his own party drives the President’s paranoia even higher. Bush, in a meeting with senior advisors, called Senator Majority Leader Bill Frist a “god-damned traitor” for opposing him on stem-cell research.

[What is the DUmmie screen name of the author of this Capitol Hill Blue piece of fiction?]

Is this true or not? Who knows but its great reading!

[So even though you admit that it probably isn't true, you admit that you enjoy reading this fiction. Hey, whatever turns you on.]

Dems need to pile on this
They need to force a public meltdown of spectacular proportions. With an unbalanced personality like *, it's very possible.

[If Bush were already unhinged, why would the Democrats need to pile on? Unless, the story ISN'T true.]

How much would we love to see a public meltdown on TV?
I hope to see him disolve in a puddle of piss, vomit and crap as the weight of what he has done sinks in... all in public on tv.In reality it would prolly scare me no end to see this happen, but I still want it hehe.tib

[Thus spaketh yet ANOTHER out of control DUmmie.]

I'm seriously worried about his mental stability.
And not so much about Washington, but in Crawford. I think the reason they send him on these outrageous '5-week vacations' is because they know he's fragile mentally.So what happens? Cindy Sheehan and company arrive, right on his doorstep. This is an instant downer, because now he has to justify what he does all day long, in particular when he doesn't meet with her. The fact is, he CAN'T meet with her. Cindy Sheehan has publicly announced that she's going to debate him - something he's not able to do right now.

[Thanks for ADMITTING what Cindy Sheehan's REAL agenda is... To get into Bush's face. Amazing that a lot of reporters are still promoting the fiction that Bush meeting with Cindy Sheehan would be a warm fuzzy thing for him to do when the REAL agenda of the left is for Cindy to be completely confrontational.]

this man is totally sick..and he has his followers ........who believe everything he says...hes dangerous......to the entire world....he is the one who has his finger on the switch....and if this is true.he must be taken out of the WH.by force if necessary..for the survival of our country......

[By force if necessary...which means by violence. Thank you for sharing that thought, DUmmie bluedog. I repeat, DUmmie bluedog. Oh, and give the Secret Service my regards.]

capitol hill blue is a crap website
if someone can get a video of this shit, I'd take it seriously but otherwise this could be a bunch of crap.


Friday, August 12, 2005

DUmmie FUnnies 08-11-05 (Pied Piper Pitt Grandstands In Crawford)

Is there any major Leftist event in which William Rivers (Pied Piper) Pitt does not try to make HIMSELF the center of attention? We already saw that happen on June 16, “The Day When Everything Finally Changed.” Unfortunately for Pitt, the Day When Everything Finally Changed fizzled out so he tried to kickstart ANOTHER “Day When Everything Finally Changed” this coming September 24. In between, Pitt noticed the Sheehan Circus taking place in Crawford, Texas and went into the panic mode lest the many video cameras there fail to record him blowing bloated pronouncements into his own navel. So Pitt donned his black Midnight Cowboy outfit and hit the highways in a mad scramble to promote himself before the cameras in Crawford as you can see in his Truthout VERBAL DIARRHEA ENTRIES. So all you reporters down in Crawford, please keep this in mind: Cindy Sheehan is just a sideshow of the circus. The MAIN EVENT is none other than Pied Piper Pitt, at least in his own mind as he attempts to make every twitch of his nose and wiggle of his butt into acts of great historical import. The laughable acts of blatant self-promotion by Pied Piper Pitt are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, once again puncturing the self-inflated Pied Piper Pitt Blimp, is in the [brackets]:

Wednesday 10 August 2005
4:55 PM

After a rather uneventful journey from Boston, I am standing on a country road in Crawford TX. There are maybe fifty cars parked here and perhaps five dozen activists. It seems this is a transitional phase. Some have headed back to the Peace House and others are on the way down the road.

[After modeling my yummie Midnight Cowboy outfit for everybody in Dummieland, I am finally grandstanding on a country road in Crawford, TX. There are probably fifty cars parked here and perhaps a dozen activists. Now the real work begins---How to make MYSELF the center of attention.]

The police are being polite and deferential, and word has it the looming arrest threat may have been more a miscommunication than anything. We shall see.

[The police are RUINING our chances for some great video melodrama by being polite and not arresting us. Must find some other way to grandstand.]

Cindy Sheehan is in high spirits despite being sun-blasted and tired. She is also back at the House doing radio interviews.

[Cindy Sheehan is in high spirits despite being sun-blasted and tired. Perhaps I could substitute for her doing radio interviews.]

A long caravan is coming down the road right now. More Iraq families, more veterans, more activists. The Crawford siege continues.

[The Crawford siege continues. Oh how I love to toss around military terminology. A long caravan is coming down the road right now. Sure hope it is more reporters with video cameras. HERE I AM!!!]

Wednesday 10 August 2005
5:26 PM

I just videotaped an interview with Jodi Evans of Code Pink. She has been on a hunger strike out here since Saturday and is weakened but holding firm. Imagine fasting while sleeping in a tent after getting blasted alternately with searing heat and thunderstorms that drop four inches of rain in an hour.

[I just videotaped an interview with Jodi Evans of Code Pink. Maybe I could get it broadcast as a pod on Algore TV. Must edit the tape to make ME the focus of the interview.]

There is more courage by the side of this road than I have seen anywhere in a long, long time.

[Hello everybody! I’m by the side of the road in Crawford. ME!!! Pied Piper Pitt. Please notice my courage.]

And the crowd continues to swell. More rain in the forecast.

[More rain in the forecast. I sure hope it doesn’t cause my black velvet Midnight Cowboy costume to mildew.]

Wednesday 10 August 2005
5:38 PM

A fellow in a big doublewide just rolled by and gave everyone the finger. He didn't stop, though. No big surprise.

[I get the finger from a fellow in a big doublewide. No big surprise. He had no fashion sense so he didn’t appreciate my black velvet Midnight Cowboy costume.]

Wednesday 10 August 2005
6:03 PM

Heading back to an Internet connection so we can upload the interview we just got with Cindy. Hopefully, it will be ready in a couple of hours, and then we will head back here. Stay tuned.

[Panic. Almost a full half-hour went by before I could upload my interview via an Internet connection. That long out of the spotlight is SCARY.]

Wednesday 10 August 2005
7:10 PM

We have sprinted back to a spot with high speed Internet so we can upload our interviews. The highway we took to get here was 84, otherwise known as the George W. Bush Parkway. Yes, the car almost wound up off the road.

[High speed Internet access so I can upload tales of self-glorification. This is what the Crawford trip is all about.]

Things seemed settled back at the protest site. We will head back as soon as we can, and will be there again first thing in the morning. Apparently, the threat from the cops about moving people tomorrow was not so empty. Cindy has vowed to sit herself in the road and not move should that happen.

[Things seemed settled back at the protest site. We will head back as soon as I can issue more press releases about my importance. I have vowed to sit on Cindy to make that happen.]

We will be back soon.

[I’ll be back as soon as I revel in my press releases.]

Wednesday 10 August 2005
9:30 PM

Nine thirty at night and we are back at the encampment. It is deep-country dark out here. A sliver of moon sneaks out from behind the clouds, but the only real light comes from the occasional headlights and the strobing blue and red from the sheriff's bubble lights.

[Nine thirty at night and we are back at the encampment. I see sliver of someone mooning me. A firefly landed on my toe and I spotted the slight glimmer of heat lightning 10 miles away. Most comforting is the warm glow from my laptop screen.]

Conversations mutter along the sides of the road as the demonstrators prepare their tents and make plans for the morning. The crickets cree from the underbrush. I don't know where Cindy is right now. I assume she is in a tent herself, getting some rest.

[Conversations mutter along the sides of the road as the demonstrators are probably talking about ME. The crickets are cricking from the underbrush. And somewhere in the Panamanian jungle, a moth flutters its wings.]

Tomorrow will be interesting. Condi and Rummy are coming for a confab at some point. The police may well clear the road before that. On Friday, Bush is going down the road a piece for a fundraiser. We know how much he likes to see protesters, so if they don't clear is out tomorrow, they might the next day.

[Condi and Rummy and ME! I like the sound of that.]

The people out here are ready for whatever happens. The word people are using all through this site is "community." Everyone is taking care of everyone. A woman off in the dark to my left talking on a cell to her son, who is a soldier. From the sound of the talk, he supports her completely.

[The word people are using all through this site is “publicity.” Everyone is trying to hog the spotlight from everyone else. Must hit the internet uploads heavily tomorrow.]

This weird little triangle of road in the middle of nowhere has become the center of everything. The crickets could care less, but there it is.

[I have become the center of everthing. ME! The crickets could care less, but there it is.]

The folks here are having a press conference at ten thirty tomorrow morning. We will be here.

[The folks here are having a press conference at ten thirty tomorrow moring. We will be there. Never met a press camera I didn’t like.]

Wednesday 10 August 2005
10:10 PM

The dark is complete and the activists are bedding down. We will be here early tomorrow. Until then, keep these folks in your thoughts and prayers.

[The dark is complete and the activists are bedding down. We will be here hogging camera time early tomorrow. Until then, keep me in your thoughts and prayers.]

Wednesday 10 August 2005
10:40 PM

Camp rumor says there will be arrests made at midnight at the camp, so we are heading back. Stay tuned.

[Camp rumor says there will be arrests made at the camp, so we are heading back to the video cameras. Stay tuned to your cable channel.]

Wednesday 10 August 2005
11:15 PM

We are back at the camp site and everyone is ready for the rumored arrests to come within the hour. The rain has begun again. I will let you know what transpires. Stay tuned.

[The rain has begun again. I will let you know what transpires with my black velvet Midnight Cowboy costume. Stay tuned to your cable news channel.]

Wednesday 10 August 2005
11:20 PM

Spirits are high here despite the rain and arrest threat. Several campers are clustered together under a makeshift tent singing Thin Lizzy songs. People are still arriving.

[Several campers are clustered together in front of a makeshift video camera singing The Internationale. Cameras are still arriving.]

Wednesday 10 August 2005
11:30 PM

A large flatbed tow truck has been spotted by the side of the road a couple of ranches down. There are a lot of reasons for a ranch to have something like that. Still, it is an ominous sign.

[A farm tractor has been spotted by the side of the road a couple of ranches down. There are a lot of reasons for a ranch to have something like that. Still it is an ominous sign. Hope the cameras are running.]

Wednesday 10 August 2005
11:45 PM

A cop is here with spotlights blazing. He shined us, turned, and pulled to the side of the road.

[A cop mooned us and pulled to the side of the road. Oh, and a moth in Panama fluttered its wings.]

Wednesday 10 August 2005
11:55 PM

The cop split and all is quiet. I have never seen so many stars in the sky as I do here. The camp singing continues.

[I have never seen so many stars in the sky as I do here. Makes me think about how grateful I am to be the center of the universe.]

The cop went by again.

[The Panamanian moth fluttered its wings again.]

Thursday 11 August 2005
12:06 AM

Midnight has come and all is quiet. It looks like it was a camp rumor after all, and besides, it would be a political disaster.

[Midnight has come and no soundbites. DAMN! What a PR disaster.]

Going to stick around a while anyway. Not sure what that cop with the lights was trying to do. A Secret Service SUV went by a moment ago. It is totally dark and the land is flat, so no one can sneak up on the camp.

[Going to stick around with the peons anyway. Never can tell when a press camera will sneak up on the camp.]

I will report back when I know more. Meanwhile, the singing goes on.

[Meanwhile a moth in Panama flutters its wings.]

Thursday 11 August 2005
12:15 AM

The campers are making plans for what to do if the cops come in. No one is afraid.

[No one is afraid. (Please note my heroism about an event that hasn’t happened.)]

Thursday 11 August 2005
12:25 AM

The cop went by again. Hard to tell what his purpose is. They may well just be checking things out. Twenty-five minutes have passed since the alleged deadline. No warnings have been issued. The mood here is light. Bob, who was just on with Bernie Ward, has no intention of going anywhere.

[Ominous fluttering of a Panamanian moth’s wings. Mood here is light. We are not afraid.]

Thursday 11 August 2005
12:55 AM

Cindy has emerged, wrapped in a poncho, and the camp mood just lifted twenty feet off the ground.

[Cindy has emerged. Must get my goateed face in the camera frame with her.]

The debate happening now is what to do if they try to move people. Cindy says, standing next to me here, that she won't leave unless she is carried out. Everyone else says, "That's all I need to hear."

[The debate happening now is who gets to share face time on camera with Cindy.]

Thursday 11 August 2005
12:55 AM

[12:55 AM. I couldn’t even let a minute go by since the previous post before putting in my two bits again.]

It is close to one in the morning here, and the threat appears to have passed. Anyone who has been on edge over this should understand the tension. These folks are on the edge of things out here, and the cops plus the flat bed tow truck made for ominous feelings.

[These folks are on the edge of things out here. The tension is almost unbearable. Cops plus the farm tractor plus the fluttering Panamanian moth made for ominous feelings.]

Good news: Cindy will be on the cover of People Magazine. Time and Vanity Fair will interview her tomorrow. How many millions of readers do those magazines have?

[Good news: I might be in the background when Cindy is on the cover of People Magazine. Time and Vanity Fair will interview her tomorrow. Must make sure I get in the picture there too. How many millions of readers will see my big bad black velvet Midnight Cowboy hat?]

Lots of millions.

[I am feeling great urinations of joy in my black velvet Midnight Cowboy pants.]

To repeat, we are standing down for the time being.

[To repeat, I am standing in front of the cameras for the time being.]

Thursday 11 August 2005
1:10 AM

It is after one and the concerns have passed. We are packing it in for the night, again. Cindy is telling stories and the others are slowly drifting back to their tents.

[It is after one and the concerns have passed. No ominous flashing cop lights, farm tractors, or fluttering Panamanian moths.]

We will be here first thing in the morning for the arrival of Condi and Rummy and we will do this all over again.

[I will go in front of the cameras all over again…and again…and again…]

Question for the night: Who will get arrested first, Cindy or Osama?

[Question for the night. Who will get in front of the cameras first, Me or Osama?]

Thursday 11 August 2005
7:21 AM

The sun came up hazy this morning, with the sky divided between blue and high clouds. It feels like a hot one coming on, in more ways than one

[Another ominous sign. The sun rose in the east. Oh, and the sky is blue with clouds in it. Yet more ominous signs.]

I got a call from the campsite at five thirty this morning. Apparently, fourteen white Secret Service SUVs went blasting up the road. It was almost certainly either a security shift change or augmentation, but it made all the demonstrators cat-nervous.

[I got a call from room service at my luxury hotel suite this morning. They don’t have fresh squeezed orange juice. Just grapefruit juice. This change is making me nervous.]

We are getting coffee and are on the way in.

[We are getting coffee on our way in to Starbucks.]

Thursday 11 August 2005
8:19 AM

Light dawns on marble head. Those fourteen SUVs that went by were probably Condi and Rummy running the gauntlet, or the press corps getting delivered to the Bush house.

[…or my pizza being delivered to me.]

We are back at the site. A large contingent of military families is coming in, and the camp press conference is in about two hours.

[We are back with the peons. The camp press conference is in about two hours. Must practice leaping in front of the cameras.]

Thursday 11 August 2005
8:19 AM

An Iraq war veteran named Goodrich has arrived with his decorations and salad bar on his camo shirt. It is warming up.

[It is warming up. Who was the dumb shmuck who advised me to wear a BLACK velvet Midnight Cowboy hat?]

Thursday 11 August 2005
8:19 AM

The crowd here is growing exponentially as the sun gets higher. Lots of press and cameras, lots of tent moving and reorganization. The cars are stacking up. Old school organizers are teaching the younger folks how to do the do.

[My press releases are growing exponentially as the sun gets higher. Lots of press and cameras. Be still my beating heart!]

A big black pickup just came into the camp and is sitting here leaning on his horn. He was not being blocked. It went on for a good couple of minutes. The natives are getting restless.

[The natives are getting restless. Maybe the cause is my big black velvet Midnight Cowboy hat.]

Thursday 11 August 2005
9:15 AM

There is a smoking gun right here in camp.

[There is a smoking bong right here in camp.]

It has been reported that the US started bombing Iraqi sites well before the so-called diplomacy was completed, to deplete Iraq's war capabilities, and also to goad Saddam into a war. For many, this is prima facie evidence of a war crime.

[I want prima facie time in front of the video cameras.]

Tim Goodrich, Air Force veteran here in camp, participated in that bombing while in Iraq. We have an interview with him which will be up later today.

[We have an interview which will be online later today featuring ME with a wee bit of Tim.]

Thursday 11 August 2005
9:52 AM

There is a large gathering of press here waiting for the conference. Lawyers are here with Complaints to be filed regarding infringement of First Amendment rights. The cars keep coming and coming. Another convoy of cops and trucks just went slamming by.

[There is a large gathering of press here waiting for the conference. Wiping the drool stains off my shirt.]

Something very interesting is also about to happen. Can't write about it yet. Stay tuned.

[Something very interesting is also about to happen. I am about to gaze at my own navel from a new angle. Stay tuned.]

Thursday 11 August 2005
10:13 AM

There are six police cars stacked up down the road with their dome lights going. Methinks our distinguished visitors may be on the way.

[There are six police cars stacked up down the road with their dome lights going. The farm tractor just backfired ominously.]

Thursday 11 August 2005
10:18 AM

The police have brought in a health inspector. Maybe they think campers are pooping on private property. Not happening. Everyone goes to the Peace House.

[The police have brought in a health inspector. Will he condemn my underpants?]

Thursday 11 August 2005
10:25 AM

The health inspectors are poking around in every tent, backed up by the sheriff and a deputy. They are surrounded by clicking cameras.

[The health inspectors are poking around in my underwear. They are surrounded by clicking cameras. Hope those cameras don’t give me an embarrassing schwing alert.]

Thursday 11 August 2005
10:47 AM

I am destroyed. Cindy and the other families of the fallen just had their press conference. By the end, all were weeping. All denounced the war, Bush, and demanded the troops be brought home. It ended with these families just holding each other, surrounded by flowers and cameras, to the side of the Arlington West cemetery that has been erected here.

[I am destroyed. A full 22 minutes went by since my last blatant self-promotion. By the end, I was weeping. Must vow never to let that happen again.]

We will get our footage of this up as soon as we can.

[We will get footage of my self-promotion up as soon as we can.]

Thursday 11 August 2005
10:55 AM

I walked in the grass and my feet got attacked by fire ants. I am hating Texas right now.

[I sat in the grass and my ass got attacked by fire ants. I am hating Texas right now.]
Thursday 11 August 2005
11:54 AM

We are back at the hotel to get our video uploaded, and so I can put some stuff on the forty fire ant bites my feet will be taking home as a souveneir. Ouch.

[We are back at the hotel to get room service and our video uploaded, and so I can put some stuff on the forty fire ant bites on my ass. Ouch.]

Today was the biggest day of this event so far. I am not sure how the whole health inspector thing is going to shake out, but the sheriff has said to several reporters that no arrests are planned. We will see if that holds true.

[Today was the biggest day of this event so far. I was able to upload the most stuff about myself.]

Back soon.

[Back soon to promote myself.]

Thursday 11 August 2005
1:41 PM

A letter is floating out from some right-wing radio host allegedly from Casey Sheehan's godmother, which has been signed by "various grandparents and cousins" etc. The letter attacks Cindy and says the family stands with Bush. I am heading back to camp and will ask her about it. The letter is signed Cherie Quarterolo.

[I am going to ask Cindy if she has any fascist Freeper relatives.]

Sounds like some crap. The swift boating of Cindy begins.

[Sounds like some crap. I fear the swift booting of me out of Crawford before I can get more video face time.]

Thursday 11 August 2005
2:26 PM

We are on the road back to the site after stopping for some supplies. I will get answers to this relatives letter thing, and also to catch up on the thing I couldn't report on before. Basically, several Iraq vets were going to walk up to the ranch gate to see if they could talk to someone inside.

[We are on the road back to the site after stopping for some room service. I will get talking points to this relatives letter thing and catch up on more camera time again.]

Thursday 11 August 2005
3:35 PM

Barry Crimins is here. Got damn.

[Barry Crimins is here. Got damn more face time on camera than I did.]

The soldiers who did the walk-up aren't around right now. Cindy's spokesman is likewise unavailable because his wife is suffering heat stroke. I will catch up on the letter thing and get a statement when I can. I know they are aware of it.

[Where are my talking points about the letter thing?]

The cars parked along the side of the road are stretching beyond view, and more are coming. The crosses in the Arlington West cemetery stretch nearly as far. Everyone is settling in for the remains of another day here in the ditch.

[Everyone is settling in for the remains of another day here in the ditch. Hope the A/C is working properly in my hotel suite.]

Thursday 11 August 2005
3:54 PM

It is hot, damned hot. But there are guitars going and songs are being sung. The press truck with the satellite is still here. The fire ants have hopefully gone to hell where they belong. And the line of crosses stretches further down the road.

[It is hot, damned hot. The Press truck with the satellite is still here. I’m still drooling over that sight despite the fire ants who have gone up my ass where they belong.]

Thursday 11 August 2005
3:59 PM

The port-o-potty has arrived. And there was great rejoicing.

[The port-o-potty has arrived. And my ant-bitten ass was rejoicing.]

Thursday 11 August 2005
4:11 PM

I think I am going to be on with Randi Rhodes at 4:30 Texas time. Tune in.

[I think I am in love with myself. I am going to be on with Randi Rhodes at 4:30 Texas time. Tune in. And love me too!]

Thursday 11 August 2005
5:06 PM

Another sudden influx of cars and again this quiet, desolate spot endures a traffic jam.

[Another sudden influx of cars and again this quiet, desolate spote endures a traffic jam of glory hounds.]

Thursday 11 August 2005
5:22 PM

I may sound like a bit of a heretic saying this, but I have a rogue nerve tingling a concern right now.

[I have a French tickler tingling me a warning. I may be lost in the shuffle despite all my self-promotion.]

Until today, the group here was relatively small, everyone knew each other and everyone was entirely on the same page.

[Until today, the group here was relatively small, everyone knew each other and I was able to easily hog plenty of camera time.]

Now there are a bunch of new folks here, and they all mean well, but a number of them appear to be interested in dragging the whole thing towards whatever other cause inspires them.

[Now there are a bunch of new glory hounds here dragging the cause away from ME.]

There is Pamphleteer Guy with his anti-theocracy newspaper buttonholing everyone he can find to buy his paper. There are the young radicals who are arguing with themselves about what actions they can take, whether or not those actions have anything to do with Cindy.

[There are young radicals here arguing about things other than ME. And Pamphleteer Guy---Get out of my camera viewfinder!]

There is nothing wrong right now. I just hope the people who have just come, and the people on the way, remember to be down for the main cause that started this. It would be a real tragedy if this turned into an ANSWER rally, with everyone rocking their own rallying cry. Right now this is laser-focused. It needs to stay that way.

[It would be a real tragedy if this turned into something other than my self-promotion.]

It is a good thing this has gotten big. Don't get me wrong. But if you're coming, pledge to stick to the main tent.

[If you’re coming, pledge to stick to what this is all about---ME!]

Thursday 11 August 2005
5:35 PM

A couple of coming events. There will be a rally at the Crawford Peace House on Saturday, details to be announced. On Sunday, there will be a meditation/interfaith service at the House at 1:30PM.

[A couple of coming events. There will be a warm mud bath at my hotel followed by a foot massage. On Sunday, room service will bring up a buffet breakfast.]

Thursday 11 August 2005
6:34 PM

Update: the Saturday rally at the Peace House will be at noon, Texas time.

[Update: the Saturday foot massage at my hotel will be at noon, Texas time.]

Thursday 11 August 2005
6:49 PM

The sun is finally beginning to set behind a small line of trees, and the crowd has begun to thin out. The official count for today's gathering was 705, not counting press. Given the fact that we are in a drainage ditch by the side of the road in the middle of nowhere, that is a great number.

[The sun is finally beginning to set behind a small line of trees. In the West. Could be another ominous sign. Given the fact that we are in a drainage ditch by the side of the road in the middle of nowhere, that is a great incentive to split from the peons here for my hotel suite with the A/C and room service.]

Thursday 11 August 2005
7:55 PM

The sun is almost gone and the sky has turned a deep pure blue. Most of the crowd is gone, leaving the hard core behind to stand the watch as they have done all week. I am going to start saying my goodbyes to these remarkable, heroic people.

[The sun is almost gone and the sky has turned a deep OMINOUS pure blue. Most of the crowd is gone, leaving the hard core of dopes behind to stand and watch me return to my luxury hotel suite.]

I will post some final thoughts in a bit. If something else happens, I will of course post it.

[I will post some final overly melodramatic self-promotion in a bit after I try to grab some more camera time.]