DUmmie FUnnies 01-30-05 (DUmmies Slam Iraq Elections)

The DUmmie response to the Iraq elections today has been somewhat subdued. They must be trying to figure out what position to take on the elections. To oppose the elections means to oppose what is now obviously the desire of the vast majority of the Iraqis who were thrilled to vote. However, their dilemma is that to support the elections means in their DUmmie minds to support the EVIL Bush regime. For these reasons, there has been relatively little commentary on the Iraq elections than I would have expected. However, FEAR NOT, the DUmmies haven’t completely given up their wacko viewpoints as you can see in this DUmmie THREAD titled, “DUers rooting AGAINST the elections??” As could be expected the vast majority of the DUmmies on this thread answered the question in the affirmative. And the others I suspect of being LOUSY FREEPER TROLLS including the original author of this thread. As usual, the bah humbug DUmmie comments are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary your humble correspondent, viewing them from the balcony of the Menshevik Hotel, is in the [brackets]:

DUers rooting AGAINST the elections?? WTF? Look, can't we oppose the war, the premise and Shrub but still hope for the best and think good thoughts for the BRAVE people in Iraq that are actually getting their asses to the polls?!? This is about the Iraqis at this point - NOT shrub. Yes Shrub will declare 'victory' because of it - but my priority has to be w/ the Iraqi people right now. The sooner they feel they have valid self determination, the harder it will be for shrub to just sit there and occupy them. I *am* conflicted about this - but, the bottom line, for me - This is GOOD for the Iraqis. Is it good for Shrub? I don't give a shit. I will fight shrubs agenda just as hard. But I am glad for the Iraqis today.

[Hmmm….. I am VERY suspicious of this post. It sounds TOO REASONABLE for the typical DUmmie. However, this poster did call Bush “Shrub” and sounded a bit like he was opposed to “Shrub.” But would that be a normal ploy to throw off the DUmmies. Okay, I am going out on the limb here and accuse this poster of being a LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]

You can't support democracy and support this sham. It's the obligation of every decent free thinking human being to call this what it is.

[PHEW! Back to the normal DUmmie insanity.]

They will be using tabulation computers. Completely hackable.

[Karl Rove FIXED the Iraqi elections. Fixing the Ohio vote was just a dry run for Iraq.]

There was no election, just a bullshit scam.

[A scam just like in Ohio.]


Nobody (or I at least dont think so) is agaisnt the elections in Iraq. This is probably one of the only good things that have happened so far.

[Umm…. Better check out the Dummie post just above yours.]

only real vote over there would be vote on whether or not to kick US out. Let's see them let them vote on that.

[How about a vote of confidence for the terrorists? I’m sure you could support that.]

I hope this works out for Iraq. These people have suffered enough - under Saddam, under Bush.

[According to DUmmie lore, they suffered much much worse under Bush.]

The only trouble with that is that the election was bush's idea. And he has never been demonstrably successful at anything important in his life.

[Except for winning the Presidency TWICE.]

"This is good for the Iraqis" WTF? WHAT is good for the Iraqis? A bogus stagecrafted *election* that was done only to support Bush's propaganda campaign? BUSH USED THOSE PEOPLE and LIED TO THEM to PROMOTE HIS AGENDA. Encouraging people to risk their lives for a bogus election is not doing anything GOOD. WHAT GOOD have we done for the Iraqis? ANSWER THAT QUESTION, PLEASE, I'd really like to know.

[Yeah. The Iraqis were better off giving 99.9% of their vote to Saddam Hussein in open and honest elections as opposed to this “stagecrafted” election.]

I PISS on bush's big parade. election schmection.

[You are obviously suffering from election dejection.]

Of course, anything to hurt Bush even at the expense of the Iraqis. Let them die, as long as Bush is discredited, it's worth it. Republicans vs. Democrats in DC is much important than the fate of Iraq. /sarcasm OFF

[LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]

Iraqi "voters" are like the first weekend crowds for GIGLI about to be VERY disappointed. nothing but props for propaganda. the only 'winner' is bushco because it happened at all. the very thought that bushco would allow an honest election in Iraq (see, afghanistan and their US-installed oil puppet) is too silly to consider...i'm sure most DUers support DEMOCRATIC elections... and would prefer starting that process here at home BEFORE we PRETEND to export it.

[The EVIL Bush Regime would NEVER allow free elections. The Perfect Rovian Storm is fiendishly manipulating the Iraqi voters.]

This vote is a PNAC, neo-con, cabal, white house-media, corporate SHAM. If they gave one sxxt about Iraq, they wouldn't have killed 100,000 Iraqis and a smaller per cent of ours and the coalitions and made a mess of the rest of the lives of thousands more.

This election is a fraud. There are no good intentions on the part of the white house media and Halliburton - it is a sham of public relations that is as empty of heart as the proverbial devil him or herself.

I feel nothing but sorrow for the people of Iraq because of the dubious reason for their voting at this time. Today - we had 30+ deaths - now we have 30 days more of curfew - then we'll see how the next 30 number be represented.

Sham. Sham. Sham. Because the U.S. arranged it. I still want to know if the American Iraqis who voted were naturalized citizens of the U.S.? I want to know if any of the Iraqis voting outside of their country were paid or had their expense paid. That is how doubtful I am of the control of the White House and PNAC in this.

Where were the ballots printed - in Iraq - giving someone some business, or in the U.S., or on the copying machine at Halliburton. My apologies to all iraqis who believed in what they were doing. And I hope I'm wrong about the U.S. and media sham of it all. This has got to be the worst day of propaganda that we have ever experienced.

[Somebody out there PLEASE get this quote in front of Rush Limbaugh for tomorrow’s show. The country needs to hear what the Left REALLY thinks about the Iraq election.]

I'm for free and fair elections. Safe elections. I'm for a decent standard of living for all human beings, and the right to live without a military presence, foreign or domestic, breathing down their necks. Nothing of the sort is involved in these "elections." They're a sham, and the quagmire will continue; today's events don't change anything.

[Back to the day’s when Saddam Hussein won 99.9% of the vote in “free and fair elections.”


I am happy for the brave people of Iraq who faced off the insurgents and who had enough nerve to trust the security of their lives in the hands of an occupying force. For sure this was a victory AGAINST the insugents, if not a total victory for the Iraqi people. And that's GOOD thing.

[LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]

Were this election to be unsuccessful, it may serve to broaden the mainstream U.S. media's debate about "miscalculations" (or deliberate errors, if you prefer) in Bush's overarching strategy - possibly leading to an awakening about the unfeasability of a perpetual "war on terror," which, in the advent of said awakening, might be much more beneficial to Iraqis than this showcase election would ever be.

[A rare moment of DUmmie honesty. This DUmmie wants the election to be UNSUCCESSFUL because it would hurt the Bush administration.]

Damn ....No wonder the Dem Party is rapidly becoming a FRACKIN' fringe group! It makes me weep. I watched people on TV today that had no teeth, some of which had no FREAKIN' legs, crawl to the polling places in Iraq. Dance in line. Give praise to god. I've been, occasionally, crying like a little girl the last hour watching the CNN and BBC election coverage. I thought my vote was precious in November. I didn't give the finger (while the Iraqis, who stained their fingers for easy indentification) to bombs and bombers while I did it. This was a great day. I don't care who's in the Oval. God bless the Iraqi people. GO a democratic Iraq.

[LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]

DUmmie FUnnies 01-28-05 ("Gore 08, Dean DNC")

As you can see in this DUmmie THREAD titled, “Gore 08, Dean DNC,” the DUmmies are intent on committing political suicide. And I say, “GO FOR IT!!!” Of course, I have a profit driven ulterior motive for hoping for the political comeback of Al Gore since it would probably mean the revival of my Al Gore At The Movies reviews. When I first started those reviews, I got complaints that Al Gore was a has-been and that I was exaggerating his absolute nuttiness. Of course this was before his “HE BETRAYED US!!!” ranting. So let us now watch as the DUmmies propose the destruction of the Democrat Party in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, wearing a GORE/DEAN button, is in the [brackets]:

Gore 08, Dean DNC. Anything less is uncivilized.

[True. Go for the SCREAM TEAM!!!]

I feel that only Dean created excitement during the primary (am I wrong? I would have preferred Kucinich, but he never got off the ground. Edwards and Clark were nice and all, but boring) and that Gore is the only Dem with a chance in 2008.

[I agree but could we make room for the Evil Elf as Veep in ’08?]

I do know that Gore does not excite me in the least.

[YOU BETRAYED HIM!!!]

Gore would be a good choice. it would be like Nixon's 68 comeback--8 years after narrowly losing to JFK

[Al Gore---tanned, rested, and WACKY!]

a non dlc Gore, with Dean as his attack dog

[YEEEEEE-AAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!]

I'd rather have Dean as Gore's VP

[Sore Gore and the Dean Scream Team. LOVE IT!!!]

I think that it is time that we take Dean off the national ticket and put him to work weeding out the anti grass root folk.

[Any Democrat that shows a trace of sanity must be PURGED!!!]

I could also go with Gore-Boxer in 2008, but not Gore-Wes or Anybody-Wes or Wes-Anybody.

[Gore-Boxer ’08? I’m DROOLING at the thought!]

Sounds good ot me. Why...? Because the GOP media machine wants fresh meat so they can do their shock and awe smear campaign. With Gore it simply wont be effective.

[Could playing and replaying tape of Al Gore screeching, “HE BETRAYED US!!!” be considered a smear campaign?]

Will it play in Montana?

[Of course…..and Wyoming too.]

I could go with Al, easily. He gets better all the time.

[Absolutely. His comedy act gets better all the time.]

Unite behind GORE !!!

[You bet!]

Gore has no thermostat and Dean speaks before he thinks. Am not enthusiastic about either man in roles you suggest.

[LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]

And are you saying that Gore is a liar in public settings?

[No. Just in private soirees.]

DUmmie FUnnies 01-27-05 ("Did anyone here get an e-mail from Katrina Sumner asking for $")

Another female is following the lead of Bev Harris by asking the DUmmies for money. This time it is Katrina Sumner as you can read in this DUmmie THREAD titled, “Did anyone here get an e-mail from Katrina Sumner asking for $?” Unfortunately for Katrina, the DUmmies are so bitter about being ripped off by Bev that she will have a very hard time getting them to part with their dinero. As usual, the DUmmie grumpings are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, with hand firmly on wallet, is in the [brackets]:

Did anyone here get an e-mail from Katrina Sumner asking for $? I didn't but a friend did. In it, Katrina says the volunteers who minded the store in Greene County didn't get paid, yet, and they've been waiting since mid-December.

[HUH? Since when do VOLUNTEERS get PAID?]

Hence the word "volunteers ".

[BINGO! And a rare moment of clarity from a DUmmie.]

why would it be random people's responsibility to pay them? who was supposed to pay them?

[The same suckers who paid Bev.]

Beware of Rovian misinformation and plants. This sounds like one of them.

[So do you…and you and you………and YOU!]

i've come to the conclusion that you are right. unless these people are starving with no food and/or no place to sleep at night, there is no need to go flipping out over a little bit of money. did these people do it for the money or b/c it was a patriotic thing to do? no offense, I even met this girl in person in D.C. and I still do not trust her. It hurts to say it out loud or post it but it's how i felt and how i always felt. It looks like someone trying to discredit Arnebeck for 'not paying people', when he HIMSELF is struggling to come up with the money to pay for a lawsuit now being brought against him and the other lawyers. Whatever is going on, i'm not falling for it, and don't be surprised if some kind of rumor starts flying around trying to say Arnebeck is some kind of fraud, like what happened with Bev. (althought personally i DO believe Bev was deceptive, but i do NOT believe that Arnebeck is, not one bit.)

[WOW! You have to be pretty far down the DUmmie Food NOT to be trusted by infamous DUmmie Faye.]


I got the email and kicked in a few bucks. She said that we were welcome to send the email around.

[SUCKER!!! But now that you flushed your money down the toilet, let us read Katrina’s e-mail to you…]

Hello fellow activists, friends, and associates,
I'm writing to you asking for your assistance. On December 10, 2004, I was asked by Cliff Arnebeck to find persons to hire in his name for watching the Board of Elections in Greene County and towards our efforts. The offer was to be given since the nature of the request asked for a round the clock initiative. While there were many volunteers that have assisted (and thanks to all of them) some were not able to at all hours needed (due to jobs or responsibilities). In any case these people were hired with a promise of payment. Since the middle of December they have been waiting. I have repeatedly told them things such as: tomorrow Cliff will be mailing checks, tomorrow Cliff said he would do a transfer, Cliff said it would have to be after this week because there is a hearing to work on; then it came to: Ok, I know you've heard it again and again, but Cliff says directly after the January 20th because of another hearing he had to work on, then after: it'll be tomorrow, it will be tomorrow, ok I promise tomorrow since he just told me that he was doing it after we hung up. Well the days have passed. I've heard the same stories. I know that many of you already sent to Cliff directly or on the freepress.org site to help out with this situation, but I must tell you that those funds were not received by these people who worked. Nor were any funds forwarded on to me to give to them.

[BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! The old “check is in the mail” ploy. The second most famous lie ever told. But continue with your HILARIOUS wailing, Katrina…]

I realize that there are others out there in my precise position and I emphasize with all those out there left with the numerous calls of "when will we get paid." Maybe this mail will seem to be an attack, but I can assure you that it is only an attempt once again to carry out ANOTHER's promise. Please help me with this effort. Any donations would be welcomed. We are looking at a figure around 2650 US. Below I will list the a good few of the people who helped with this situation and have been so very patient thus far in order of highest amount owed to lowest.

[I think I’ll cut those people a break by NOT humiliating them by posting their names as you did, Katrina. BTW, you listed 10 people and divided into $2650 that comes out to just $265 per person. If they had ACTUALLY done REAL WORK for less than a week they could have EARNED that amount.]

that is bullshit that is personal business between her, the other people who worked and Cliff and NO ONE should be coming to everyday people trying to get money. WE didn't hire them, and it is not our fucking business what goes on. Nobody knows what really went on with all this, and we don't know why (if true) Cliff would be holding back on the money. It's BULLSHIT, whether really from her or not. sorry, dzika i know you are friends with her, and i met her in person, but this is utter bullshit. I might as well start a paypal account so i can accept donations because I'm unemployed and poor. It is NOT our responsibility to give this girl money.

[Way to diss her, Faye! Since you are poor and unemployed, Faye, I have a recommendation. Have an Ultimate Challenge fight on HBO between you and Katrina. I would PAY to watch that.]

I agree, if she was hired by Arnebeck, Arnebeck has to pay her.

[Don’t worry. Arnebeck said the CHECK IS IN THE MAIL.]

i also think it is illegal how can it be legal for one everyday person to solicit for donations from other everyday people? don't they have to be some kind of organization or at least some kind of legal non-profit kind of group?

[Plus the non-profit group has to publicly declare how much dough they raked in from the suckers---something that Bev Harris has FAILED to do.]

oh well whatever. i am poor anyway, but i wouldn't give it to them if i had it. i think it's just rude. but then again i'm rude, so i guess it's all good.

[Not only are you rude, Faye, but you’re also crude. However, your saving grace is that you’re ENTERTAINING. Thanx for the LAUGHS!]

Gadz!! I mean fer f*ck sakes!!! Its Bev all over again!! WTF!!! Someone screwed up somewhere and they need to be thoroughly ripped for it!!! How many more times is this shit gonna happen to us? Please someone prove this is bullshit, please please please....

[I hate to inform you but Katrina’s pathetic whining plea for dough is LEGIT.]

I am disappointed to report this. I am a member of Yahoo Groups CASE Ohio, though seldom check in there. Katrina did, indeed, post that message there yesterday.

[Thanx for verifying her shakedown artistry.]

Folks are not supposed to post threads that solicit money without first obtaining Skinners or the other admin's approval. Trouble with this sort of thing happened back in Nov & Dec.

[Who can forget. An obvious con artist like Bev Harris easily shook down you DUmmies for big bucks…. So long, SUCKERS!]

DUmmie FUnnies 01-26-05 (Peeved Skinner Berates DUmmies For Petty Whining)

In this DUmmie THREAD titled, “OK, I changed the name back,” Dummieland’s Chief, Skinner, berates his fellow DUmmies for being a bunch of petty whiners for not wanting to let go of the “2004 Election Results and Discussion” forum name. Apparently the DUmmies can’t move on. They have to continue reliving the 2004 election over and over and over again. What’s next DUmmies? A “2000 Election Results and Discussion” forum? You can find the genesis of reverting back to the old outmoded name in this whine-filled DUmmie THREAD titled, “I miss the old name...This doesn't feel like ‘Home.’” Read the latter thread for yourselves but you can see the reluctance to let go of the name change in this comment by DUmmie imaginary girl: “I think changing the name is making some of us feel that we're being forced to let go of our hopes of this election somehow being overturned…” Now let us lead off this edition of the DUFUs with an extremely peeved Skinner berating the DUmmies. As usual, the DUmmie whines are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, watching Skinner change DUmmie diapers, is in the [brackets]:

OK, I changed the name back. This forum is now called 2004 Election Results and Discussion.

[AGAIN? Can’t your fellow DUmmies LET GO, Skinner?]

I am instructing the moderators to NOT MOVE ANYTHING out of this forum, even if it does not have anything to do with the topic of the forum. Want to talk about the Condi Rice nomination? Go for it. Apparently nobody here has noticed that it has nothing to do with 2004 Election Results and Discussion. But that's not my problem.

[And it’s not my problem that you have to change the soiled diapers of your fellow DUmmies, Skinner, who are so babyish that they can’t let go of the fact that the 2004 election is OVER. But don’t worry. Your DUmmies will somehow try to connect the Condi Rice nomination back to the 2004 election. Somehow I have a feeling they will even connect the SuperBowl results back to the 2004 election.]

I must admit I am shaking my head in disbelief at the lack of perspective displayed over this. It makes absolutely no sense. But I guess we've always known that DUers are very resistant to change.

[We know that, Skinner. Bunch of friggin’ whining crybabies who just can’t accept the 2004 election results.]

Everything is back to the way it was before. And by the way: before you start celebrating or complaining, I am extremely disappointed with the behavior of some people on both sides of this debate. I cannot believe that something as inconsequential as a name change has caused you to act in an absolutely disgraceful manner, and I strongly suggest that you modify your behavior immediately.

[Spank them and make them go to bed without dinner, Skinner. BTW, I had to laugh out loud at your vain request that the DUmmies “modify” their behavior. Face it, Skinner. Your crybabying DUmmies are a bunch of pathetic whiners NOW and they ALWAYS will be.]

If anyone has anything to add, post it in the Ask the Administrators forum. The moderators HAVE been instructed to lock any further topics debating this issue.

[SNIFF! No more DUmmie debates about keeping an outmoded name change. But don’t worry, Skinner, we will keep that pathetic debate ALIVE in the DUmmie Funnies. And now on to watching the other DUmmies celebrating the fact that the forum name has been reverted back. Too bad you all can’t celebrate the RESULTS of the 2004 election.]

I love you, Skinner. Thank-you

[OH BLESS YOU! BLESS YOU, Skinner, for reverting back to the antiquated forum name. I shall slobber all over your posterior in gratefulness over your meaningless gesture toward our useless obsession.]

that forum name has become an anchor for our feelings about the events of the past election. something very treasured that we all worked for together. It was very thoughtful of you and the other admins to relent to our wishes.

[It was soooo thoughtful of you, Skinner, to cave in to our utterly ridiculous obsession over not letting go of the 2004 election. Pull down your pants again. I too want to slobber all over your posterior for making me feel like a semi-human again!]

ool! Thank you! I was all discombobulated! I felt like my whole reality had somehow done kind of a matrix move lol

[Better to live in the Matrix UnReality of the 2004 Election Past than live in the REALITY of 2005.]

Condi's hearings do involve election reform. Boxer is our voice in the senate regarding election reform and she is the only dem with back bone. We have to watch her back and remain aware of her stances so that we can be supportive of her.

[CAN’T LET GO! CAN’T LET GO! MUST CONNECT EVERYTHING IN 2005 TO THE 2004 ELECTION RESULTS NO MATTER HOW STUPID IT MIGHT SEEM! CAN’T LET GO!]

The winds of change are blowing...do you feel the breeze?

[No but I do smell your flatulence.]

We form a community that is why this forum is different than the others, that is why there is so much energy here we have access to the greatest knowledge bank the world has ever known, the Internet and working as a collective. we learn further and faster than one person sifting through the web and DU forums could ever hope to this is our Living Brainstorm. do not doubt our ability to affect change through this medium. This is the Future of Human Intercommunication...

[You force Skinner to reinstate a dopey outdated DUmmie forum name and you act like this is evidence of the DAWNING OF A NEW AGE?]

Condoleezza Rice might not be directly connected to the issue of election fraud but the senators opposing her are showing some guts. And for me that is what we'll need for election reform. The democrats are gearing up I think. Opposing Dr. Rice is a step we need to support. Those
same Senators and Representatives will also hopefuly be
on our side for election reform changes.

[YAWN! Nice stretch but you might as well connect Condi Rice to the 1904 election results. Same relevance.]

I'm relieved to see the name back. I thought the name change represented an end to investigation/discussion of the 2004 selection and I wasn't really ready for that.

[I broke out in hives when Skinner dropped that forum name. Now that it has changed back, I can sleep again.]

Thanks, Skinner. The 2004 election ain't over ... until the votes have REALLY been counted and the election thieves have been locked up. Appreciate your decision to change the name back. Even we tin-foil-hatters appreciate a little stability in our lives.

[Just can’t LET GO, can you?]

It's not about the forum name change. It's about how the political scene--for instance, Boxer's challenge of the Rice nomination, following her challenge of the Ohio Electors, and the progressive coalition she is creating--will impact potential Election Reform. We cannot get Election Reform in a vacuum. (We cannot depend on Congress for Election Reform--too many BushCons--but Congressional progressives can play a vital role in investigation and public education.)

[It sounds like you want to lock tongues with Barbara Boxer.]

DUmmie FUnnies 01-25-05 ("Is Big Brother Snooping on DU?")

The DUmmies are acting paranoid about the possibility of government agencies monitoring them in this DUmmie THREAD titled, “Is Big Brother Snooping on DU?” Actually I would be paranoid if the government weren’t snooping on the DUmmies. Let’s see, DUmmies make threats against the President and talk about their solidarity with extremist groups in Iraq and elsewhere and they expect NOT to be monitored? What alternate universe do they live in? An easy way for the government law enforcement agencies to monitor the DUmmies is to read the Dummie FUnnies which must be a very FUN assignment. Nothing like keeping tabs on the DUmmies while laughing your ass off at the same time by checking out the DUmmie FUnnies. One good example of how the DUFUs helped the Secret Service is when the DUmmie FUnnies featured that nutty DUmmie school teacher who went INSANE with rage against Bush shortly after he was re-elected. However, there are many many other DUmmies that need to be monitored as well. And I would be EXTREMELY WORRIED if their activities (and threats) were not watched. Fortunately, this DUFU edition’s featured DUmmie Thread has reassured me in this matter. As usual, the Bolshevik DUmmie rantings are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, sending out messages via the secret decoder ring to Agent Mike, is in the [brackets]:

Is Big Brother Snooping on DU?

[LOUSY FREEPER TROLLS?]

I decided to put the old firewall to the test as I logged onto DU today. Usually it just runs in the background, but I thought it would be interesting to see if any unrequested attempts came in to access the computer. Anyone care to interpret this? It's pretty freaking scary on first glance. I ran the browser in a small window so that I could watch the firewall results in real time. Immediately, there were two attempts that were blocked. I looked up the source IP info on ARIN WHOIS. The info:

Attempt 1:

Protocol: UDP

Source IP: 206.39.24.78

OrgName: DoD Network Information Center

OrgID: DNIC

Address: 7990 Science Applications Ct

Address: M/S CV 50

City: Vienna

StateProv: VA

PostalCode: 22183-7000

[If you aren’t planning illegal activities then the only thing you have to worry about is that someone at the DOD is checking out your porn collection featuring The Hedgehog (who rumor says is a registered Freeper).]


Attempt 2:

Protocol: UDP

Source IP: 206.23.89.183

OrgName: Tennessee Board of Regents

OrgID: TBOR

Address: 1415 Murfreesboro Road

Address: Suite 350

City: Nashville

StateProv: TN

PostalCode: 37217

[Maybe someone on the Tennessee board of Regents is a fan of The Hedgehog too.]

Why is the Department of Defense gathering information on us? Under what law is it granted? To what purpose is it directed? What connection does the Tennessee Board of Regents have in this? What the hell is going on???

[Gee! Your DUmmie cohorts makes threats against the President and act as a cheerleading gallery for the terrorists and you have to ask a question like that? As for the Tennessee Board of Regents maybe somebody there is doing research into the tiny DUmmie mind.]

to Agent Mike and all others. Too bad you waste your lives on chasing the wrong enemies.

[Agent Mike is watching the CORRECT people. Just a quick scan of the nutcase DUmmie posts reveals that they need to be watched.]

More sinister scenerio is a plot by the administration, Melon-Scaifee, Rev Moon, Rove, Norquist and all the Usual Suspects to shut down internet discussion sites like this one on the grounds that they breed terrorists.

[It would be stupid of them to shut down the DUmmie site, when you all make it so EASY to monitor anti-American activities.]

Where the suppression will start: not here. That would be too obvious. It will be the Free Republic or a similar site which will be attacked by AG Gonzales first.

[What kind of Loco Weed are you smoking?]

You know, the Freepers don't even get it....when the shit really hits the fan, once Hitler Jr. and his best friend Darth decide they're done playing nice, they'll be the first ones to feel the pain.

[Apparently your divorce from reality has come to fruition.]

I got the EXACT same thing except mine was in Chantilly , VA and I'm nervous about it. Really! And there are so many FREEPERS skulking about in here.

[LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]

If they come, they come, and I'll not go quietly when they do.

[Will you yell, “I BELIEVE?”]

Frankly, I really don't give a rat's ass. What I say here is nothing that I wouldn't shout on the town square, so they can't blackmail or embarass me.

[Better to let you embarrass yourself.]

You haven't broken any laws, but they can soon declare you insane

[Not a big stretch there.]

When you realize 9-11 was an inside job that's where they will put you

[Where? In DUmmieland?]

Face the facts.. We are the enemy in the eyes of the evil do'ers running this country.

[Also in the eyes of almost everybody else. All one has to do is listen to 5 minutes of an ANSWER rally to realize who the enemy is---YOU!!!]

I wouldn't be surprised they want to see what us dissenters and unpatriotic citizens are up to so they can spill propaganda on our fire.

[No need to. Only need to quote you folks word for word to discredit you completely.]

Absolute control of cyberspace is one of the stated goals of the Neo-Con think tanks. After I started researching election data, I suddenly found my access blocked to state election sites, election fraud sites, and anything with dot gov. I still am unable to visit NASA's site to view Huygens photos for crying out loud. Like poker, it's a "tell." They don't want the citizens to look too closely or learn too much. Their goals are in place. The next move is to ask for legal means to gain even greater invasion of privacy and freedom in all forms of electronic communication by pressing Congress on grounds of "National Security in the war on terrorism." Like the Patriot Act rationale, their National Cyberspace Security agenda, however, has more to do with control and spying on their own citizens than on any threat to the nation. It's a much larger game of domination without accountability.

[Your post about absolute control of cyberspace is a “tell” for paranoia.]

Our activism has our own leaders on the line now, and they don't like being held accountable for their actions or non-actions one little bit.

[True. Unlike Barbara Boxer, many Democrat leaders don’t want to be embarrassed by having to publicly pander to the DUmmie wackos.]

All they'll find on my internet-surfing history is porn and politics. And porn. Lots of porn.

[More of The Hedgehog?]

Is it not possible that somebody at DoD is a DUer or just curious?

[Somebody working for the Defense Department who is a DUmmie is a FRIGHTENING thought.]

Did anyone really think these threads weren't being monitored by gov't?

[Even worse. The DUmmie threads are monitored by the DUFUs.]

They are snooping on everyone of us! Make no mistake. Every DUer is in their crosshairs. They are watching your internet habits among other things. What a bunch of assholes! Yeah. I am talking about you, Mister Fed snoop! Go spy on some Islamic Fundamentalists or something.

[How about spying on Islamic Fundamentalist ENABLERS aka DUmmieland?]

DUmmie FUnnies 01-24-05 ("Is 'capitalism' good or bad?")

Hidden beneath the public face of many Democrats is the fact that they are SOCIALISTS. In most other countries Socialists are not afraid to proclaim themselves as such but here in the U.S.A. the liberals are more afraid of the S-word than the L-word. However, among themselves, the hardcore leftist Democrats are not afraid of expressing their disdain of Free Enterprise (capitalism) as you can see in this DUmmie THREAD titled, “Is ‘capitalism’ good or bad?" After reading the DUmmie comments, you will know why I put them in Bolshevik Red while the capitalist commentary of your humble correspondent is in the [brackets]:

Is "capitalism" good or bad? And does capitalism add or subtract from a democracy. After all, capitalism is presently rampant in China and they are far from a democracy so we should not confuse capitalism with democracy, per se. One is political and the other is economic. A communist country can have capitalism and prosper...at least for a while. What type of "democracy" would we have if we did not have capitalism within the system? What if we were economic socialists? Would that be better or worse than the current system of government?

[Somehow methinks the VAST majority of the DUmmies will be answering the last question in the AFFIRMATIVE.]

Capitalism is dangerous without regulations and limitations.

[Dangerous. STAMP IT OUT!!!]

You are absolutetly correct. Capitalism is the survival of the fittest. In a true capitalist society, we would get rid of people who weren't productive: let the terminally sick die, banish the elderly to mountain tops, and the retarded and handicapped might be killed out right. We would have no art, only Hollywood thrillers. We would have no nature, only an outdoor theme park created by Disney. Obviously, this is not what we want as a christian nation. This is the number one reason why I vote democratic: because the republicans want a pure capitalism that would destroy anything that didn't have a dollar value, and all the great things in life are free.

[Does that mean that unborn babies won’t be killed under Socialism? Also I guess that Renaissance Italy must have been Socialist because there was a great artistic flowering back them.]

I've owned a little neighborhood bar for 13 years now. Believe it or not I did save a few hundred bucks a month after the tax cuts but those corporate whores got f*cking billions!!!

[Better take a stiff drink at your bar and figure out how owning a small business will get you tax cuts worth billions. See, if you pay $20,000 in taxes, a 25% cut will save you $5000. But if you pay $12 billion in taxes then a 10% tax cut will save you $1.2 billion. So you want to save a billion bucks in taxes when you currently pay $20,000 at your little bar? Pour yourself yet ANOTHER drink.]

My husband and I are "little guy" self employed 1 man business. We hate bush because his policies hurt our business .

[True. Bush has been bad for the crack ho’ business.]

Without capitalism many rights that we as a country cherish either couldn't be provided or would be empty.

[LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]

capitalism is organized crime.

[Whisper that gently into Fidel Castro’s ear and he may let you stay the night.]

A very limited private enterprise system with a largely socialist regulatory hierarchy in place.

[Welcome to Sweden!]

Capitalism is good because you can work hard to achieve something and hope to get some financial reward for your efforts.

[LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]

The capitalists use up all of the peoples natural resources without compensating them. They pollute their air, land and water which is theirs by natural right, taking away the peoples rights to clean air, land and water. They are never given anything in return for allowing the capitalist to use their resources. Oil belongs to the earth and its inhabitants not to the people who steal it and sell it for their own gain. We should try to see a different paradigm. A better world is possible if we could only imagine it on a collective level.

[Ah! How fondly we remember that pristine environmental paradise in the former Union of Soviet SOCIALIST Republics.]

Democracy and capitalism are NOT the same thing. In fact unless its managed and regulated very carefully, capitalism erodes and destroys democracy.

[Regulate and stomp on capitalism before it has a chance of making people wealthy.]

There is absolutely zero positive about capitalism be it small business or big business the parameters of an economy based on capital is incapable of gauging and living within the limits of the land. a more egalitarian way of divvying up a profit-growth based economy still does not take into consideration the sacredness of work and the intrinsic value of non-human beings. Vandana Shiva speaks pointedly of how tired she is of hearing "they're only living on a dollar a day" plaints. She elaborates with stories of how wonderfully the people in her area of Punjab Province were doing living on zero dollars a day. Capital is not a form of economic measurement or medium of exchange it is a form of control. history bears this out from the early forms of 'capita' to our present transnational corps. capitalism and slavery go hand in glove.

[And who produces Vandana’s Bandana? Somehow I don’t think the folks in the Punjab are going to work for zero dollars per day.]

Capitalism is a disaster. It produces an obscene amount of plastic garbage. It wastes countless amounts of precious time of people by pelting them constantly with audio and visual trash (advertising, which is also a major waste of trees and bandwidth as well). It rewards people for being a jerk and punishes them for being born in the wrong place at the wrong time.

[You were definitely born in the wrong place and the wrong time. You should have been born about a hundred years ago in Moscow so you could have joined the Bolsheviks and participated in the Chekhist purge of the bourgeoisie. I bet you salivate over that prospect.]

Normally a thread like this would be overwhelmingly filled with anti-Capitalist diatribes, not the collection of reasonable responses I just finished reading...

[“Reasonable reponses” like the one just prior to yours?]


Anyway, if you don't know about bioregionalism, you should at least read up a little on it. What is bioregionalism? Bioregionalism is a fancy name for living a rooted life. Sometimes called "living in place," bioregionalism means you are aware of the ecology, economy and culture of the place where you live, and are committed to making choices that enhance them. A bioregion is an area that shares similar topography, plant and animal life, and human culture. Bioregions are often organized around watersheds, and they can be nested within each other. Bioregional boundaries are usually not rigid, and often differ from political borders around counties, states, provinces and nations. Ideally, bioregions are places that could be largely self-sufficient in terms of food, products and services, and would have a sustainable impact on the environment.

[OKAY! OKAY! We get it. You’re bi.]

Remembering that untill the computer chip the Soviet economy was equal to ours and in being honest with ourselves, we've been taken-in by the glimmer Capitalism sells us on which plays on the natural human sence of greed and other psychological responses, the result has always been and always will be nothing more than a game of 'winner take all' and as always the majority loose. To me it's nothing more than economic/corporate feudalism really, really polished-up. I could be wrong here, but I beleive it was Alexander Hamilton who said that the advent of the corporation would be the greatest threat to individual freedom this country would face. If so: Has he been proven wrong? Capitalism, with or without 'regulation has been nothing but a fight between the political institutions' protection of the wealthy class and corporations against the intrests of the average citizen, the enviroment and the future. Just look at the new article on CBS Market-Watch today about corporations using a loop-hole to make millions in profit on their employees 401 K deductions that the employees never see. This is the equivilant of stealing their money. So? It's legal. One could bang his/her keyboard until one was blind listing all the ways capialism fails, is abusive, is destroying futures, lives, hope and dreams, the enviorment...Norm Chomsky said it best: Corporate Capitaism only wants one thing; they want it all. As far as regulation goes: Phooy. We've done that. For decades. Then we get sold on de-regulation. It's not "how do we fine-tune this machine to run different?" This machine was invented and designed to accomplish one goal: Protect and keep the 'haves' from the 'have-nots'. Don't beleive me? Think about this: Consumerism is the biggest insult to any nations' people. Run down to wal-mart and buy cheap crap you really don't need made by people getting slave wages in the country your job was outsourced to that destroys the other jobs in your community that drive the wages down so you go to wal-mart to buy cheap crap made in the country your job was outsourced to because that is now all you can afford because you are now getting closer to making slave wages...Screw Capitalism. Fire your boss. Socialism is not a dirty word.

[“Screw Capitalism. Fire your boss. Socialism is not a dirty word.” Please enter that into the Democrat Party Platform in 2008. Oh, and don’t forget to tell us from the convention stage how the Soviet economy was the equal of ours until the advent of the computer chip. We could use the comedy relief.]

I'm disappointed that people do not see that most of the problems our country faces right now are mostly due to the corporate greed and capitalism that has covered our nation like a blanket...Capitalism is the problem - not the solution.

[Aww! You’re disappointed! How sad. I’ll sing you the Internationale lullaby at bedtime to cheer you up.]

Greed must be controlled for the good of the people. Indeed, we will destroy our environment and ourselves unless we come to the realization that there must be limits on how far we permit capitalism to go.

[The main thing is not to allow capitalism to permit anybody to earn profits. That type of greed must definitely be controlled for the good of the people.]

The MODERN capitalist system is a dinosaur when it comes to actually responding to new demands. It's unparalleled when it comes to manufacturing wants that comply with the production desires of the captains of industry. But then again, I'm much more of a John Kenneth Galbraith fan than you probably are, and I happen to think that Milton Friedman is one of the biggest crocks of shit out there.

[And Milty thinks the same about you.]

The drive for money has led to competition and a lot of good things from it.

[LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]

So some time ago, I got sick of hearing a lot of "little people" (people who work for a wage, etc.) saying things like, "Well, we have the best system in the world... the market will take care of it... it all depends on what the market will bear... blah blah blah." So next time I hear someone (unless it happens to be the CEO a multi-billion-dollar corporation, and I seldom talk to such people!) say that, I'm gonna say in reply: "If you are such a believer in PURE capitalism, with NO BRAKES on it, then next time you are hungry, I demand that you be required to immediately go out and kill something if you want to eat. And every time you want to eat, I demand that you go out and kill something before you are allowed to eat." Because that's the sort of world we live in if we have PURE, unfettered capitalism. And if they want to live in it, then IMO, they need to be consistent about it!

[Obviously someone already went out and killed your sense of reasoning.]

Capitalism is as beautiful a thing as man has ever created. No system has ever provided so much for so many, or lifted the standard of living to such remarkable levels. America is not wealthy, powerful, and so filled with opportunity because government makes it that way. It's because economic freedom can bring out the best in mankind. If you don't believe it, ask yourself why so many thousands of people from all over the world flock to this country in hordes, both legally and illegally, some of them dying in transit, to take advantage of the opportunities here. They are not flocking to Cuba or Iran, and with good reason.

[LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]

DUmmie FUnnies 01-23-05 ("The Freeper Anthem by Doug From Upland")

The DUmmies have flamed our own Freeper (and DUFU Pingee) Doug From Upland in this DUmmie THREAD titled, “The Freeper Anthem by Doug From Upland.” Although they have tried to mock Doug From Upland, I have a feeling that he will have the last laugh with a DUmmie Anthem. So let us now open with the DUmmies quoting Doug From Upland’s anthem as we await the inevitable DUmmie Anthem from the songwriter himself. First we open with the lyrics of the Freeper Anthem as quoted in Dummieland. As usual, the Dummie off-key tunes are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent is in the [brackets]:

Can you hear the FReepers sing
We lift our voices to the sky
And we are swearing to our God
That we will all live free or die

[The DUmmies hate the latter phrase. They prefer “Live Free or Diebold.”]

Many brave men gave their lives
So that this nation could be free
If we will stand and fight
We honor their memory

[The DUmmies don’t like this song because the words don’t work right with “The Internationale” tune.]


England ruled from afar
Until the brave among them said
We won't accept the tyranny
We'll show them kings are dead
So they grabbed their weapons and fought and America's born

[DUmmies hate the Second Amendment so no surprise they don’t like this verse at all.]

If only they could "live free" AND die.

[I think that is what the DUmmies call “Revolutionary Justice.”]

irony , oh the irony had the freepers been alive in 1776 they would have all been the most diehard pro-George III loyalists! Had they been alive (and adults) in 1940 they would have been isolationist "American Firsters" or Silver Shirts.

[Funny how the DUmmies OFTEN refer to the Founding Fathers as “reactionary white guys.” Oh, and I hate to inform the DUmmies but in 1940, their beloved Bolsheviks were living in peaceful harmony and collusion with Germany due to the Molotov-Ribbentrop Pact.]

Yeah, and guess who wanted to revolt in the first place? The Northerners! The immoral New Englanders! LOL, what a bunch of hypocrites!

[Better not educate the DUmmies with the fact that one of the most effective Revolutionary military leaders was the Swamp Fox---a southernor. Come to think of it, this DUmmie is too clueless to realize that George Washington was from the (GASP!) South.]

Damn, think of all those liberal yanks who decided in the 1860s that slaves should be free. All the conservatives (then the Dems, but times have changed) seceded

[Better not tell this DUmmie that Lincoln worked as a railroad lawyer. As to times changing, Al Gore’s father Senator Al Gore I (Dem) voted AGAINST the 1964 Civil Rights Act.]

"CAN YOU HEAR THE FREEPERS SING".....that is too f*cking funny...LOL..

[Not as funny as “CAN YOU HEAR THE DUMMIES CHIRP.”]


I can just picture them glassy eyed and delirious, chanting away. (wish I couldn't though...I'll have nightmares tonight) WTF do you let these mentally ill people mix with those of you who are sane? Don't you have asylums?

[And I got a good picture of the delirioius DUmmies chanting away at the Inauguration Day ANSWER Rally broadcast on C-SPAN. Talk about mentally ill!]

DUmmie FUnnies 01-22-05 ("Iron rules of hollywood movies")

Sorry for posting two showbiz DUmmie threads in a row but I have to do it to show how incredibly UNORIGINAL the DUmmies are. In last night’s DUFU THREAD about Captain Pike and Star Trek, I mentioned that when any one named Ensign Smith would beam down to a hostile planet with Kirk, Spock, and Bones, he was as good as dead because he was just NOT going to survive. Later, on the same thread, Freeper Bush_Democrat added that the term “red shirt” is an industry term to denote a guest star who was going to die because the Star Trek crew members who died always wore red uniforms. As it turns out these EXACT SAME points are made (copied) in today’s DUmmie THREAD titled, “Iron rules of hollywood movies.” And one iron rule is that DUmmies have NO originality. So grab your popcorn, relax, and watch this episode of DUmmie Mystery Theater. As usual the uncreative DUmmie musings are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, laughing into his popcorn, is in the [brackets]:

Iron rules of hollywood movies… Well, some of them aren't absolute, but some of 'em are. This one's just about unbreakable: If there's an expensive, exotic sports car in an action movie, that car is going to get trashed. A painful truth for us car lovers, but there it is. That Ferrari, Lotus, Lamborghini, Aston Martin? Gonna be a heap of shredded tin by the end of the flick. I don't think it applies to your Porsche, Mercedes, or BMW. Has to have a more exotic pedigree. If it does, it's as doomed as The Kid.

[Here is another ironclad rule: Whenever Dummie Coyotes get to gloating they always end up with the ACME Co. package exploding in their faces. Cases in point: Gloating over Dan Rather’s Bush TANG report. Also gloating over the exit polls on Election Day.
DUmmie Gloat = Ultimate Defeat.

Speaking of which...In a war movie, The Kid is gonna get it. Usually a minor character but not always. The Lad With His Whole Life Ahead of Him. He's deader than a Maserati in a Kung Fu flick. Even surer if we see him early on getting a letter from his young wife or girlfriend. Deader 'n shit. Sorry pal, it's what you're there for.

[Just like the DUmmie Jerk. The DUmmie Jerk is gonna get it.]

A rule observed quite strictly by the first Star Trek. A black man beaming down to the planet with Spock and Kirk and McCoy? He's a goner already. And even he knows it. You can see it in his eyes. "Oh, shit, they need another decoy! I was going to be a captain someday."

[Not quite. You are trying not to copy our DUFU from yesterday but let us allow another DUmmie to copy us EXACTLY.]

That ethnic group was really more of a red shirt thing. If you wore a red shirt AND didn't asnwer to "Scotty" you were friggin' DOOMED. Nowehere was safe--the forces of evil would sneak through the deflector shields just to cap you.

[BINGO! Congratulations on shamefully copying the DUFUs!]

If there's a car chase, it will go through a fruit vending area or area with a lot of fruit boxes to blow into the air.

[Didn’t the Blues Brothers’ car go crashing through a shopping mall sans the fruit stand?]

and cops always get teamed with someone who is their exact opposite personality wise. By the end of the movie they are either in love with each other or best buddies!

[A DUmmie and a Freeper? By the end of the movie the DUmmie sues the police department for harassment because by being teamed up with a Freeper, it showed just what a pathetic cop he was.]

No matter how old and decrepit the leading man is...he will get the 20-something leading lady. Do we really need to see Lindsey Lohan making out with Abe Vigoda?

[Is that really any worse than seeing Ginger Lynn doing a bit more than making out with the Hedgehog?]

If the bad guy is captured alive at the end of the movie He'll produce a gun an try to shoot the hero or one of his friends, thereby giving the hero an excuse to shoot him dead (usually with a shot in the exact middle of the forehead at a ludicrously high distance).

[Die Hard and Lethal Weapon.]

when the the cop's wife is left alone, the killer will come for her but the cop will save her in time of course

[If the Best Friend of the Main Character has a hot looking girlfriend, the Main Character is going to end up shtooping her, thus causing problems with his Best Friend. Picnic comes to mind but this is replicated in numerous other flicks.]

DUmmie FUnnies 01-21-05 ("Captain Pike was an idiot")

One great way to get your post count up to the magic 1000 in DUmmieland is to go into the DUmmie Lounge and post in one of the many non-political discussion. It is much easier to get your post count up this way than to join one of the political discussions since you are much less likely to “out” yourself. As an example, let us join in this DUmmie Star Trek THREAD titled, “Captain Pike was an idiot.” So let us Beam Down to Dummieland observe this Star Trek episode. Of course, any crew member joining us in this adventure named Ensign Smith is sure to DIE so you might as well start building his casket now. The Klingon DUmmie rantings are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, with his Phaser set on Stun, is in the [brackets]:

Captain Pike was an idiot. Here he is, on a planet with a woman who is HOT HOT HOT!, and is hot in many different forms, and yet he insists on getting back to the Enterprise. And yeah, Vina, in real life, is a horribly deformed yucko; but the Talosians can make her into anything! And what they make her into is HOT HOT HOT!

[God Bless those Talosians. I only wish they could have worked their magic on a few blind dates I had in the past. One in particular looked just like Nikita Khruschev in drag with a horrible garlic stench on her breath. The Talosians could have made her look like the young version of Sophia Loren but could they also have gotten rid of that horrible breath?]

Hubby and I have discussed this as well. Odd that I agree w/ you, yet he would not

[Maybe your hubby was thinking of calling up the Talosians to give YOU a major makeover.]

I totally agree.....Why go back to the Enterprise, when you can be with that hottie. Plus the fact that the Talosians can make her look hot forever. I would have said, " F**K the Enterprise, I'm staying here!"

[An interesting thing about those Talosians is that they seemed like big headed gay aliens. Perhaps the Talosians were the forerunners to the “Queer Eye” series. Nothing against the Talosians, of course, but I would prefer NOT to enter any Talosian bars. Not that there is anything wrong with being a Talosian.]

You're still right, though - if he'd stayed when he had the chance, he wouldn't have had that accident, and wouldn't have had to go back to the planet. he could have stayed with the hottie, never knowing what she really looked like, and lived a life of sexual bliss and harmony.

[That was a two-part episode, The Menagerie. One of my faves. However, I got a bigger kick out of the episode where Spock had to have sex once every seven years or he would go crazy.]

Of course he was an idiot. That's why they replaced him with the best ST captain ever: James T. Kirk!

[I don’t know about acting but I will admit that Kirk can sing Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds better.]

Yeah, I'm glad they knocked him off and put in Kirk. Kirk was way better! Though I wish Majel could have stayed in her role - she was a hottie, and should have gotten more time on screen in that awesome outfit. She wasn't so interesting as Nurse Chapel.

[At least Gene Roddenberry got to shtoop Nurse Chapel on a regular basis.]

Only when Vina regained consciousness... that's when their fun began! It's a great story all the same...And to think, it's Spock (and not Kirk) who had the idea of getting Pike back to Talos 4 so he could get jiggy with Vina...

[Although Spock only had sex once every seven years, he was also an extreme voyeur. Think Spock wasn’t watching the Pike/Vina action on his viewfinder? Which reminds me, with all that advanced Star Trek technology, how come no X-Rated DVDs on board?]

Jeffrey Hunter was a *terrible* actor...I watched "Menagerie" in recent years, and was struck by just how unutterably awful he was. Shatner looks like a genius in comparison.

[You don’t like Jeffrey Hunter as a Star Trek captain? Fine. But he was THE definitive Jesus and didn’t play the part with an accent like that heathen furriner, Max Von Sydow.]

Did you ever see Hunter play Jesus! I can't even remember the name of the movie -- I couldn't take it.

[Either King of Kings or The Greatest Story Ever Told. I get them confused. And I have accepted Jeffrey Hunter in my heart as the ONE TRUE HOLLYWOOD Jesus.]

Picard wasn't any better. See, only Kirk is da' man here!

[True. I just couldn’t accept Chrome Dome Picard as a Star Trek captain. However, he did portray a great Lenin on Masterpiece Theater's Fall of Eagles.]

He didn't want to be a captive and a guinea pig. It was only after he was imprisoned in his own body that he realized what he'd given up. Fortunately for him, he got a rare second chance for happiness.

[Yeah. I remember Pike was stuck inside of a metal box contraption. He looked like he was halfway into a coma and the only way he could communicate was with a light on the contraption. One blink meant “Yes,” and Two blinks meant “No.” Or was it the reverse? Or was that all communicated via red and green lights? I hate to say this but Ross Perot’s 1992 running mate reminded me an awful lot of Pike in the metal box.]

DUmmie FUnnies 01-21-05 ("Did you hear the Freeper on NPR?")

Just a short edition of the DUFUs in this edition, mainly because I want to find out what Freeper was interviewed on NPR as referred to in this DUmmie THREAD titled, “Did you hear the Freeper on NPR?” I would like a transcript of the interview and congratulate the mystery Freeper as well as assure him that I am NOT full of blinding INSANE JEALOUS RAGE over the fact that he got to be interviewed on national radio about the DUmmies, a subject in which I am the most renown expert. Thus far, the closest I have come to being interviewed about the DUmmies was the time a couple of months ago when I called up Brian Craig on our local talk radio station and he hung up on me while muttering something about me being an “agenda caller.” As usual the DUmmie rantings are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, still waiting on hold, is in the [brackets]:

Did you hear the Freeper on NPR? They had a guy from Free Republic on NPR last night that said ANSWER and Code Pink had allied themselves with Osama Bin Laden and the terrorists, and that giving them a bleacher permit in DC was like giving Saddam Hussein bleachers at the parade. WTF is with THEM and with NPR???

[All one had to do was watch C-SPAN2 last night. They broadcast that rally and there is NO DOUBT that ANSWER (and many DUmmies) have indeed aligned themselves with the terrorists (as well as Castro, the Chavistas, and the Sandinistas). My only gripe with this particular NPR broadcast is they did not turn to the TOP expert on DUmmie-ology for commentary.]

Hmm. That's the second time in a week NPR reported the protestors ties to OBL through a FReeper spokesperson. What is their agenda anyhow?

[Every once in a while the TRUTH accidentally seeps through on NPR.]

The first one was when they were interviewing about access for protestors and worshippers. The FReeper made the same exact comment and they reported it. To do it a second time seems like they want to reinforce that thought in listeners' minds. It is definately worth a call so they know we are watching them.

[And when you get NPR on the line, please put in a plug for them interviewing the humble reporter of the DUmmie FUnnies.]

You'd have to have lived in a cave... with no radio for the last 3 years if you don't know that NPR is officially National Propaganda Radio. They don't even make an effort to be balanced, you will hear a hour of bullshit from the right and 30 seconds of carefully watered down talk from the left.

[What alternate universe are you living in since it is exactly the REVERSE situation over at NPR.]

I've had it with FreeRepublic.com. What kinds of non-violent things can we do to f*ck with them?

[Asked to be placed on the DUFU PING List.]

NPR had a fawning interview with Karl Rove yesterday. It was pretty puke-inducing...I understand that he's newsworthy just because of his position of power within the Bush administration. But the whole tone of the interview was pretty obsequious IMO.

[Actually the interview was really very CONFRONTATIONAL. However, the electromagnetic radiation from the center of the Perfect Rovian Storm jammed the unfriendly portions of the broadcast, leaving only the few parts that would sound fawning.]

DUmmie FUnnies 01-20-05 ("Protesters pepper sprayed")

In this DUmmie THREAD titled, “WTF? Protesters(behind 10 ft. fence) pepper sprayed,” the denizens of DUmmieland actually act outraged that they are not free to pelt the President’s limo. They act like this “restriction” on their freedom to act like thugs is yet another sign of impending fascism. They are lucky. If it were up to me, the DUmmies would have been sprayed with ice cold water whenever they tossed anything at the presidential limousine. So let us now read of DUmmie outrage in Bolshevik Red and the commentary of your humble correspondent in the [brackets]:

WTF? Protesters(behind 10 ft. fence) pepper sprayed.

[An OUTRAGE…..until you consider the fact that those poor widdle protestors hurled projectiles at the Presidents limo.]

Bush....you Hitler you!!!

[True. Not allowing DUmmies to throw things at the presidential limo is most definitely a sign of fascism.]

The world is disgusted at a country which proclaims to "spread democracy" when that country manipulates/controls/abuses it own people.

[Abusing DUmmies by not allowing them to threaten the President. Shameful!]

"...after demonstrators threw objects over the fence at police ...." That's what happens when you do that. No sympathy from me-- at all.

[LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]

Why not just grease them all? They're already penned in, you don't even have to chase 'em.

[That idea will definitely be taken under consideration.]

I'm abosolutely positive that the whole crowd there didn't throw objects. Yet they just pulled out the big pepper spray cannon and let loose on that entire area. And with wind a huge band of people can be caught in that.

[Hang out with jerks and you should expect the worst.]

I'm willing to wager that it wasn't the ones right up front close to the fence doing the throwing, yet they bore the brunt of the spray. Not cool.

[Tough luck. And I’ll bet the DUmmies not throwing anything were cheering on the DUmmies who were tossing projectiles.]

Throwing things at the presidential motorcade, and I don't care what it is, is inexcusable. No sympathy here either. People have a way of connecting acts like this to the whole Democratic party, and they don't need the media to do it for them, they do it on their own. Dumb move.

[Another act of self-marginalization by the DUmmies.]

OH BULLSHIT..it's looking like Sheriff Clarke in Alabama in the 60's you don't indiscriminately harm an entire crowd for the actions of a few

[Except that the rest of the crowd was encouraging the hurlers.]

Sorry, but it was crowd control. And they were throwing things. I saw that much on C-Span. If you go to protest, you know this can happen so you should be prepared. The police were trying to keep this from getting out of control.

[You make too much sense you LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]

Note to the protesters, if you don't want to be pepper sprayed, don't throw shit at cops.

[I repeat…LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]

Good rule of thumb: Don't throw things at the President. Actually, don't throw things at anyone. But if you throw things at the President, you are probably going to get your ass beat by someone.

[LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]

I remember MLK constantly throwing eggs at Alabama state troopers.

[Martin Luther King throwing eggs at Alabama state troopers? Making up history now, are we?]

DUmmie FUnnies 01-19-05 ("What's your fantasy for the inaugural Thursday?")

The DUmmies have gone from believing (“I Believe”) to fantasizing. Where recently they stated “I Believe John Kerry Will Be Inaugurated On Jan. 20,” they have now gone to fantasy as in this DUmmie THREAD titled “What's your fantasy for the inaugural Thursday?” If the DUmmies want to know what MY fantasy is, it is that Senator Barack Obama is laughing his ass off at the DUmmies via the DUFUs. The big difference is that my fantasy is actually in the realm of reality. However, let us indulge the DUmmies their fantasy as WE laugh our asses off at them in this DUFU edition. The DUmmie fantasies are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, who hopes to watch the good senator on Oprah later today, is in the [brackets]:

What's your fantasy for the inaugural Thursday? Chimp's tele-prompter malfunctioning? Chimp tripping and scraping his face again at an important moment? Chimp's mystery bulge dropping out of the back of his jacket?

[Chimp taking the oath of office at noon?]

Frigid temps. Snowstorm. Everything cancelled.

[Excellent weather. DUmmieland crashes.]

close to 6 billion people protesting facism. Thats what this is about FACISM there is no cute little word for it,no sound bite,hate rant ,racist comment,it is facism .

[An election campaign with televised debates. It MUST be facism.]

I wake up from my nightmare. Find out that it was just a bad dream. Find out it's actually just the morning of Nov. 3 and Kerry won. Or, wake up to see Kerry taking the oath.

[Check your time and date. It is the afternoon of Nov. 2. All you DUmmies are loudly gloating over the Kerry victory due to the exit polls. Take a celebratory swig of champagne from Susan Estrich’s bottle.]

How about one of the parade floats turning out to be a display filled ...with proof of the election fraud? When it stops in front of Bush's private viewing booth, a load of policemen burst out of it and cart Bush off in handcuffs. Kerry rides in on a beautiful white horse and takes the oath of office instead of Bush ...

[The trouble is that campaign float has nothing but balloons full of hot air.]

Teresa gets so upset that she buys an island, and lets all of us live on it.

[That fantasy already happened. The island is called Nantucket. However, you peons aren’t allowed anywhere near it.]

I see eggs. Lots of eggs....

[I see jail time. Lots of jail time.]

French and German special forces advance on Washington...A snatch and grab mission executed to perfection. The result: a one way trip to the Hague for * and Co. to find out just how "quaint and obsolete" the Geneva Conventions really are.

[The only trouble with that scenario is that the French forces would surrender to the German forces before they even reach Washington.]

If I say what my fantasy really is the SS will not doubt pay a visit.

[You’re already said quite enough. Now answer that knocking at your door, DUmmie SheilaT. I repeat, DUmmie SheilaT.]

Surprise visit from Osama and his boys in 2001, I told friends was afraid to visit DC during the inauguration because I thought airplanes would be flying into buildings. Hell, I was eight months before my time (9/11). I would not be surprised if Osama has a special present for the President.

[And I wouldn’t be surprised if you have a special present from the Secret Service, DUmmie fortyfeetunder. I repeat, DUmmie fortyfeetunder.]

DUmmie FUnnies 01-18-05 (DUmmies SLAM Barack Obama)

Time now for the DUmmie FUnnies to jump to the defense of its favorite Democrat Senator---Barack Obama. Hey, anybody who enjoys reading the DUmmie FUnnies CAN’T be all bad, even if he is a Democrat. Anyway you can see the DUmmies slamming Obama in this THREAD titled, “Barack Obama at bat on C-SPAN.” As usual the DUmmie whinings are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, in his rare role as Democrat Defender, is in the [brackets]:

Let's see if he's worth his salt...nothing to note so far...

[Except for the fact that the good Democrat Senator enjoys reading the DUFUs. Oh, and a BIG shoutout to our favorite Democrat senator.]

hes very impressed with her credentials, blah blah blah. ho hum

[DISGUSTING!!! How dare Senator Obama show Condi Rice even common courtesy?]

Politics, politics....He's good at bridging the gap, but can he be a member of the opposition as well?

[Don’t worry. Obama is most likely to be in opposition to DUmmie lunacy. Not hard to be that way if you are a DUFU fan.]

i'm not feeling him so far. i'll wait

[I’m feeling that Senator is laughing his ass off…..at you DUmmies.]

My opinion: Obama not impressive. He's going out of his way to be "bipartisan." He's afraid to challenge her. Why?

[Common courtesy. Although I know you would love for Obama to wrestle Condi to the ground.]

Why doesn't he just go f'her and get it over with?
This is someone that is looked at as the future of the Dem Party???

[Senator Obama is probably the best thing the Democrats got going for them….which is why it wouldn’t surprise me too much if he switches over to the Dark Side in the near future.]

Obama is the new stealth Republican. Watch him...

[I AM! I AM! And I’m liking what I see. The DUmmie hate for Obama raises him sky high in my estimate.]

Unfortunately, I'm beginning to think he'll be a soft spot for the Dems instead of their savior.

[The only soft spot is in your head, DUmmie. ….Senator Obama, pay no attention to that jerk. And a final big DUFU SHOUTOUT to our favorite Democrat senator. If the DUmmies hate you, then you must be doing something RIGHT.]

DUmmie FUnnies 01-18-05 ("Doncha miss all the old '60's radicals/activists?")

In this DUmmie THREAD titled, “Doncha miss all the old '60's radicals/activists?” we hit the bong pipe and take a walk down memory lane to the Age of Aquarius. Most folks look back on the old ‘60s radicals/activists as somewhat ridiculous at best but to the DUmmies they are noble heroes. Let us now take a look at this blast from the past. As usual the DUmmie mantra chantings are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, fingering his love beads, are in the [brackets]:

Doncha miss all the old '60's radicals/activists?
Chicago 7, Black Panthers, Weathermen, AIM, Jerry Rubin and Abbie Hoffman and such. Please don't tell me they are all conservative republicans now.

[Yes. We have such nostalgia for Weathermen terrorism. They were like the Al Qaeda of the 60s.]

I miss the hippie days--peace love and rock n roll and drugs...can't forget the drugs. Acid anyone?

[You might have forgotten the drugs but the drugs haven’t forgotten you since you are on a permanent acid trip.]

Today they'd call 'em terrorists and haul 'em off to Gitmo.

[Um….when you blow up buildings you do tend to get called terrorists nowadays. Back then they were just called “Weathermen.”]

Does Anyone Remember When "Weather Underground" didn't have ..anything to do with the weather or computers?

[They were more to do with bombs.]

I wasn't a "Weatherman" because they quickly
descended into random acts of violence.

[You prefer your violence to be more organized.]

Gawd how I miss the spirit of those days...I didn't love some of the extremism and violence of those days, but I sure miss the spirit of revolution, the expansiveness and breakthroughs of those times. The commitment to equality and the raising-up of all people. Revolution was in the air and we were bustin' through ALL the boundaries! Mini-skirts and flowers in our long hair, peace beads, Woodstock, The Pill, commonunes, natural foods, and all the rest...

[Granola, the Desdederata, Lava Lamps, Golden Gate Park, Granny Glasses, Peter Max, Earl Scheib….OOPS! Forget the latter.]

I miss the times more and more as OUR times go on. It hurts like hell, and I could easily spend most of my time in tears. I would go back in an instant -- and stay there. Forever. If I could. If I ever decide to loose the bounds of rationality, that'll be my destination. THIS era wouldn't be nearly so difficult for me if it had even some of the hope, idealism and bouyancy of that time, but that's missing, at least from my perspective.

[Such a pity that we didn’t remain a bunch of spaced out hippies.]

You speak for me, also. I've been crying all afternoon and evening - and much of the last 2 and a half years, since the 2002 elections - feeling the repressions of this era. The weight of it is mighty and hope is shrouded in the mists ahead.

[I shall beat out a mournful tambourine tune to grieve for our great loss.]

one reflection i have on those days, however, was that the "hippies" and "yippies" integrated "youth culture" with the political protests ... i remember "conning" people to go to demonstrations with me because their was going to be a great band there or they "always hand out free pot" at these things ...

[Sort of like how big crowds were conned into going to John Kerry rallies by offering free Springsteen concerts.]

It was a movement. A movement of its time, and when it's time passed so did it. The time of its passing was the early 1980's - when the hippies and yippies turned into yuppies and consumerism took over. When so many of the hippies became mainstream, started wearing suits, working on wall street and focued on making a lot of money, buying BMS's and living in up-scale houses.

[And became LOUSY FREEPER TROLLS.]

my "awakening" was rooted in revolution ... we had a vision for the future and it seemed, though it was all too brief, that there was such a large force of collective energy that we couldn't be stopped ...

[That vision for the future called Bolshevism...tinged with acid.]

I think that is what is so dispiriting to me now - the "me, mine" generation of self-centeredness and greed has overtaken the community spirit….. Ah, well.... Thanks for the invite to the PDA group. I stopped by earlier and will check back. Maybe I can scrounge up a few $ to donate to DU so I can post over there.

[The above posted without the least sense of self-irony.]


NONE of us turned into "yuppies". The "yuppies" were an entirely younger generation. "Consumerism" in mainstream never affected us as you imagine. Also, don't equate "hippies" and "yippies". "Yippies" was a word coined by Abby Hoffman when he ran a pig, "Pigasus" for President during the 1968 Democratic Convention in Chicago - which led to the police riots and the Chicago 8 - then Bobby Seale + the Chicago 7 trials. "Hippies" was a media word used to box in young people in the Haight Ashbury district of San Francisco in 1966. It eventually became a media word to apply to our entire generation, whether we wore tie-died shirts and beads or not. And whether we like it or not. The revolution my generation was involved in and continues to live by was both political, cultural, and personal, and cannot be labeled so simplistically.

[“DUmmies” works just fine.]

Some didn't become yuppies. Let me here define what I mean by the term "yuppie." To me, it specifically refers to a group of people who, in the 80's, shifted their consciousness from trying to make the world a better place to being "me-and-mine" centered, strove join the ranks of mid-to-upper- middle class status, put their priority on climbing the corporate ladder and making money, maade a bunch of designers real happy buying brand-name everything from jeans to baby carriages, cared about "status" items like going to certain resaurants or buying certain brands of car for the status of it, etc. Mostly they were primarily concerned with making money and buying things of "status."

[DIE YUPPIE SCUM!!!]

I was born May 2, 1945. Hitler had just died two days earlier, (although the American press didn't print that news until my birthday) but the bombs had not yet been dropped on Hiroshima and Nagasaki. "Baby boomer" was an expression used to describe the "baby boom" which occurred *after* WWII w

[Hmmm….So could someone be considered a Baby Boomer if he was born on August 14, 1945 when the Japanese agreed to the surrender or could someone only be a Baby Boomer if he was born on or after September 2, 1945 when the Japanese actually signed the terms of surrender on the deck of the U.S.S. Missouri?]

I yearn for the spirit of those days to be present in society today, I keep thinking that we desperately need it. I have yet to see massive outrage against the unjustices of today that can coaleasce into such a spirit determined to progress liberty further. I keep looking for it, and I keep waiting for the majority of Americans to wake up and wonder what will take for them to do so.

[There’s always hope if we drop enough acid.]

You know what? If some genie had visited me when I was young and guaranteed me a billion dollars by age 25, a Playboy Playmate of my choice for a wife, and genius kids by age 30 if I just sold out and worked for the likes of Goldwater, Nixon, Reagan and the Bush family and voted Republican in every election for the rest of my life...

[I would take that deal in a heartbeat. Oh, and my choice for Playboy Playmate wife would be Petra Verkaik.]

…I'd tell him to get lost and I'll live my life my way... and in retrospect, wouldn't change a thing - not even all the lean years, and there were a lot of them.

[And too bad you ended up with a hag that looks like Rosie O’Donnell.]

I had a similar thought while I was writing the post earlier, something to the effect that your son could be one of the leaders of the next wave of "freedom fighters" in the US.

[“Freedom Fighters?” Let’s not be shy in our use of terminology. Post what you REALLY meant---“Terrorists.”]

My Mom first felt me kick when Pete Townshend kicked. Abbie Hoffman off the stage at Woodstock. LOL! I was born at the end of the age of Aquarius - January 1970.

[It must be a strange experience to look at a crowd photo of Woodstock and trying to figure out which guy is your daddy.]

When the YIPPIES took over the Disneyland Chicken of the Sea pirate ship and unfurled the "Free Mickey Mouse" banners, little did they know that Disney was soooooo CIA'd up.

[That sounds like just a humdrum Gay Day event at Disney World.]

Why is it so hard to get young people involved now?

[Probably because they looked at you and laughed. Then decided to become just the opposite.]

The New Left was an abysmal failure. It was spoiled children whining that they didn't want responsibility for anything. Rather than organize effectively, which was too much like work, they decided to sit around, smoke dope, and just try to shock people.

[LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]

I was in the SDS albeit not in the Weatherman faction. I was active in antiwar movement and was an anarchist. (We did not, of course, see eye to eye with the Progressive Labor Party who were all Maoists). In March of 2003 I joined the parade again and marched under the good old black and red anarcho-syndicalist flag.

[God forbid that you ever consider marching under the good old red, white, and blue AMERICAN flag.]

I wish every day that Allen Ginsberg were still alive. To chronicle W and the torture and the fake on terrorism. He'd probably be on a watch list.

[Most likely Ginsberg would be humming mantras at the Disney World Gay Day.]

"When will they ever learn...when will they ever learn?" Where are all the anti-war songs...the silence can be deafening at times. It makes me sad. Where's the outrage?

[So who’s stopping you from downloading those songs to your iPod?]

I am very sorry we have forgotten the lessons learned in the 60's. I am very disappointed in my generation, I thought the future would be better when we were in charge,instead a black cloud has moved in and will never leave. Batman has lost.

[Paradise Lost…. Batman Lost.]

DUmmie FUnnies 01-17-05 ("Do you feel any animosity toward the Bush voters?")

So what do you think the answer is to the question posed in this DUmmie THREAD titled, “Do you feel any animosity toward the Bush voters?” Do you think the DUmmies have warm, fuzzy feelings towards the Bush voters? Not exactly. Try out of control HATE and RAGE! However, there is one notable exception to this attitude among the Democrats. It has come to my attention that Senator Barack Obama is not only a lurker but also a big fan of the DUmmie FUnnies. From what I hear he gets a lot of laughs out of reading the DUFUs. Therefore, Senator Obama has become the FAVORITE Democrat for this humble correspondent. Although I may disagree with much of what the good Senator believes, I just have to LIKE anyone who is a DUFU fan. Yes, flattery WILL get you everywhere, even if you are a Democrat. As usual, the angry DUmmie frothings are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, who suddenly has warm, fuzzy feelings for a certain Democrat senator from the Illinois, is in the [brackets]:

Do you feel any animosity toward the Bush voters?

[I don’t feel any animosity toward the Bush voters. I just feel incredible RAGE at them for extending the fascist reign of Chimpus Khan. I want to SMASH them all!!! But as for animosity, naw.]

I'm trying very hard not to blame them but as George W Bush gets ready to run our country into the ground and attempts to dismantle Social Security, I'm having a difficult time feeling anything other than being pissed off and ready to kick their stupid asses for the mess they have put us in. They deserve no sympathy or understanding. That's just the way I feel and if they don't like it, they can kiss my ass on the county square.

[Phew! For a moment there I feared you might be slightly conciliatory. Thank you for disabusing me of that silly notion.]

Of course i do, i'm only human but one can only take the high road so many times before you just want to scream..."F*ck you you stupid jingoistic no balled bastards!"

[So does this mean you are replying to the thread question in the affirmative?]

Let's all turn this into action! That's why I think the revolution started November 3!

[Let all the Bolsheviki meet at the county square next to the Winter Palace.]

I too am about to visit family for the first time in over a decade. I am not sure I will be able to hold my tongue. My mother is becoming more christian fundamentalist by the day. She is totally brainwashed. My wife will probably have to restrain me when the rest of the repugs in my family get in the same room with me. I have avoided them for decades.

[A muzzle over your mouth and your body wrapped tight with yards of duct tape should do the trick of restraining you.]

My mother in law came to stay with us every month for a few days. She is a fundie-lite wing nut, but in the past I had always diverted conversation towards safe ground so as to avoid family problems. A few days after the selection she called to confirm when she would be arriving, but spoke with a smirky tone in her voice. I could no longer be congenial nor quiet. I prepared by taping to the fridge short newspaper clippings that questioned the legitimacy of the election & the moral values of people who voted for shrub. When she arrived I welcomed discussion of the issues, the integrity of the administration, and the illegitimacy of the results of the election.
She left the following day, choosing to stay at the Hilton instead. Now when she comes to town she stays at the Hilton and never comes over. My hubby thinks this is for the best & wasn't in the least bit angry with me. I feel sooo much better now…

[…Until you find out that you will never again be allowed to freeload at family Thanksgiving dinners.]

It's very hard not to blame them. All the information was out there before the election and they still voted for him. Even after any voter fraud is discounted from the results he succeeded in getting too many to believe him. Are they people that are easily brainwashed or are they just greedy and uncompassionate?

[I’ll answer that question only after I get my brains washed by Rush Limbaugh and he tells me how to think.]

They've enabled Bush to destroy America.

[Hello? Mr. President? Hi! I voted for you in the last election but only on the condition that you will go out and destroy America.]

I hate their f*cking guts. They are either selfish rich or stupid poor. Selfish or stupid, I hate both.

[Don’t hold back. Tell us how you REALLY feel.]

No, not really, because. . .in truth there wasn't enough of them to win. They had to be created. So, mostly, I pity them, smile and shake my head when I hear them speak. I think I trust God more than they do. I don't believe things will continue down this road without either a mass movement of some kind or a violent reaction by the left.

[Let’s not be shy in spitting out what we mean---Bolshevik Revolution.]

Ticks Me Off every time I'm behind some ass with a Bush* sticker on his car. There's even a house on my drive to work that still has the damned Bush* sign proudly displayed (hanging above head level, no less) in their driveway. These cars are also usually festooned with Jesus fish, gold ribbons, American flags and that annoying 'choose life' license plate so delightfully unique to Florida. These misguided, bot-brained dimwits sicken me with their self-righteous, smug pride in the horrific damage that they have done our country.

[True story. When Yours Truly lived in La-La Land a liberal friend of mine once asked me what all the big T’s on car windows out there meant. I could have told him the truth which was that it was a sticker from a big chain auto transmission outfit out there. Instead, I told him it was the symbol of members of a very conservative fundamentalist group. For a long, LONG time, my liberal friend felt he was surrounded by huge numbers right-wing fundamentalists whenever he saw that T on a car window, which if you ever lived in L.A. know it would be quite frequent.]

"annoying 'choose life' license plate so......delightfully unique to Florida". I don't know if you ever read my post about going to the Tag agency (here in St Petersburg)...anyway, Since I was getting renewed anyway, I asked the clerk there that since they had a "Pro Life" tag, did they have any Tags that said either:


1. Pro Death

2. Pro Choice

3 Pro Abortion She didn't think it was funny (called the Guard on me)

[I would have issued you a Pro Death tag just to see you drive around with it.]

I blame them, blame them, blame them! Total idiots! They aren't misguided, they're evil. You are correct. They deserve no sympathy or understanding, and will never get any from me.

[So what is your answer to the thread question?]

Live Free or Diebold

[A new license plate for New Hampshire DUmmies.]

that is what the right wing neocons are--they are a cult. This is how the Dems needs to start framing the RW-fundie agenda--the agenda of a cult. We need to own that word and use it every chance we get.

[Help me! Deprogram me from Bush Worship before I swallow Kool-Aid. Reprogram me with the reasonable words of Ted Kennedy.]

I f*cking hate them except for my dad. I find out from every new person I meet who they voted for. It's important to me and is the best question I can ask to find out a lot about a person...

[So how many times a day do you get punched out by every new person you meet?]

What a short-sighted view of the world to demand to know right off the bat who someone voted for, and to order your social universe around that fact. You are denying yourself the opportunity to meet a lot of interesting people. And by saying that a person's choice for president tells you a lot about them, you are committing the sin that we supposedly tolerant people never do -- judging someone without getting to know them. I work with a lot of people from all walks of life and across the range of political views. I can still enjoy a conversation with a right wing person, have a drink, discuss books, talk about the Orioles, etc. Plus my husband is a Bush supporter which gives me some perspective on all of this. Maybe I don't take all of this politics stuff as seriously as some, but I like people and I like to learn. But if you choose to live in a cave and only interact with like-minded folks, that is your choice. A sad choice, but yours to make.

[LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]

Not all Republicans are Radicals, but RadCons are as bad as the KKK or the Nazi party. Some of these RadCons are talking about internment camps already (Malkin and a couple others to name names)

[Actually, I wouldn’t mind being interned with Michelle Malkin. Heh Heh.]

I loathe & hate them. Can barely talk to them. I hate them for their evil and/or I hate them for their ignorance. They can take their pick.

[Oh goody! I can take my pick as to why you hate me! Okay, give me some time to choose. Evil or Ignorance? Ooooh. Making this choice is such a toughie. Give me more time …]

Here's a question. Would you allow a * voter to baby-sit your kids?

[I dunno but a Kucinich voter would definitely be out of the question. Never allow a follower of the Evil Elf to be alone with your kids.]

I am as rude as possible to them. And it feels good.

[Ahhh! It feels so GOOD to be a jerk.]

I CAN'T F***ING STAND THEM IDIOTS- THEY ARE ENABLING FASCISM, GETTING PEOPLE KILLED, SELLING AMERICA DOWN THE RIVER - I HAVE NO F***ING RESPECT FOR PEOPLE WHO VOTED FOR BUSH - NONE.

[So does this mean you feel animosity towards Bush voters? Inquiring minds want to know.]

When I see a W or chimp/cheney sticker on a car, I can't resist the urge to flip the driver off, and I'm a middle aged homemaker - I'm sure these people are thinking, "WTF did I do that that woman flipped me the bird?"

[If the other driver is an undercover cop he must be thinking “How big of a ticket am I going to give to that middle aged homemaker nutcase?”]

What do the Bushitas say about....the torture in Guantanamo Bay, Cuba, where we have been holding people for over 3 years without any formal charges?

[I’ll tell you what they say. They say, “We are sorry we tortured the Gitmo terrorist prisoners with air conditioning. From now on they will be allowed to swelter in the humid heat.”]

I got into an argument with my girlfriend over her mom voting for Bush. Something along the lines of, "And you live with that stupid bitch?"

[You always have such a winning way with words.]

What I think is ignorant...Is people who are fighting for Democratic principles resorting to HATE Mongering. Are you REALLY trying NOT to HATE them Kentuck or are you trying to whip up a frenzy of hatred to make yourself feel better? A person doesn't necessarily have control of where there posts go, but look at what is happening here. Please. I gotta go. Be an adult and either get this thread under some semblence of Democratic principles or quit pretending to be holier than thou about it and admit your real agenda.

[LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]

They did what they thought was right, we did what we thought was right. Simple as that. Bushevoters are not evil, they are just wrong. note bene that they think that we are just as dumb for voting Kerry as we think they are for voting Bush. America will survive, no matter who is right. It may suck for a few years, but we'll make out OK.

[LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!! Any slight hint of rationality in DUmmieland will NOT be tolerated!]

It is now a cultural war and if you try to placate them they will run over you and laugh at your broken remains.

[At least you are correct in the “laugh at” section of your reply.]

I feel a lot of them voted the way they did out of selfishness and/or hatred. Vote away your chance at health care and send your kids to Iraq just to be sure gays can't ever get married...

[Look, mister. If you really want to marry your boyfriend, that’s okay by me. Just don’t expect me to be at the wedding reception trying to catch the garter belt.]

They deserve no sympathy. These people make me want to have an abortion just so I can throw MY OWN PRIVATE fetus right in their faces...considering how I feel personally about abortion, yeah I'd say thats hatred.

[Hatred, yes. But mere animosity?…No.]

We live in a representative republic, where people have the right to vote for whomever. Just because someone has a different political leaning than I do, does not mean I should hate them.

[Representative republic? LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]

DUmmie FUnnies 01-16-05 ("How are you going to deal with Inauguration Week?")

This is crisis week for the DUmmies since NOT KERRY will be inaugurated this Thursday. Therefore it is interesting to read what the DUmmies intend to do in this THREAD titled, “How are you going to deal with Inauguration Week?” Anyway, I know for sure that the day AFTER the Inauguration the DUmmies will be posting threads on the impending impeachment of Bush despite the fact that both Houses of Congress are solidly Republican and the fact that they don’t have any grounds to impeach him on. But, fear not, political reality is not a DUmmie strong point and they can make up grounds for impeachment. As usual, the DUmmie grumblings are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent is in the [brackets]:

How are you going to deal with Inauguration Week?

[I’m going to read the DUmmie FUnnies a lot for some GREAT laughs.]

Just curious how y'all are going to cope with the upcoming Coronation of King George 2.

[Please call him by his correct title: Our Glorious Emperor, Chimpus Khan.]

My own instinct is to unplug the TV and radio, buy no newspapers, keep the damn computer off and possibly find a cave in the woods to hide in until this week of phony patriotism and self-congratulating mandate-claiming, media-Bush-buttkissing, pundit puking, protest-ignoring, liberal-bashing, Democrat-insulting, "will the terrorists attack?" fear-mongering Pomp and Circumstance is over.

[My own instinct is to quit breathing, urinate a big river in my diaper, allow myself to be bitten by rattlesnakes, and refuse to surf all MILF websites for a whole week.]

But I know out of morbid curiousity, I'll tune in "just for a minute" and get sucked into it and then get so angry, frustrated and demoralized by all the spew that I'll wish I hadn't.

[The worst part will be seeing all those cheering Freepers.]

So I am trying to remind myself -- Willpower, lad. Use your willpower. Just Say No. What are your coping strategies?

[See the previous post about not breathing.]

I feel the need to wear black in mourning of democracy. Unfortunately I can't make it to DC to protest so I will do it in my own special way…

[…Sitting on a toilet seat in a very dark closet.]


Don't spend a Dime. Stay home from work. Shut the economy down

[Careful. Your Dime, withheld from the economy, could be enough to topple it.]

A good time to be really busy at work and go to the gym at night.

[Yes, a good gym workout of banging your head against the wall.]

I'll listen to my CDs instead of the radio, and watch TLC and Discovery.

[Crawl under my bed, put hands on ears, and yell: “NAH-NAH-NAH-NAH!!! NOT HAPPENING! CREATING MY OWN REALITY! NAH-NAH-NAH-NAH!!!”]

going to the video store and load up on DVDs and come back to live tele in about two weeks. Kinda like the election week and the one after. The old 'major diversion' routine.

[May I recommend Hot Slut Hookers and Debby Does Dallas XVI?.]

Wishing for America would come it its senses and call for BUSHCO's impeachment.

[Visualize your own impeachment reality.]

Prove that Bush got no mandate by absolutely wiping it from my mind.

[That’s sure to convince a lot of people.]

I booked a day-long continuing education workshop for January 20 so I wouldn't even be tempted to watch TV. I will take my lunch so I won't have to spend one damn dime that day. I will wear black for mourning, and will wear one of my buttons, probably the "I didn't vote for his daddy, either" one.

[That workshop on how to change your own diaper should be interesting.]

All Bush needs is a horse and then the picture will be complete. Caligula on his horse.

[And you’re assigned to clean up after the horse.]

Turn off your TV. Enjoy life, accept the things you can't change and make the most of the short time we have here on Earth with a human body.

[Isn’t that a prayer from the Hopi Elders?’

I'll be protesting in DC for a few days which means I'll have to purchase gas and some food (I'll pack a lot though) ... but I heard a really cool idea from a friend called "buy nothing day." I think there's a website about it, but I can't find it.

[You’ve already proved quite successful at “think nothing day.”]

this is a great idea...i got an email about it: BUY NOTHING. i won't spend a cent that day.

[Your penny withheld from the economy will DESTROY it.]

Two bottles of Patron tequila and a six-foot bong loaded with God's green herb.

[And don’t forget the solid oak crack pipe.]

Going to work and ignore that which does not interfere with my life. Let them have their fun. We sure will the next time we win.

[In the Year 2525 if Man is still Alive.]

Stick fingers in my ears and sing la la la la la la
and wait them out, the chickens will be coming home to roost by high summer, and then I'm going outside and screaming TOLD YA SO.

[LA-LA-LA-LA-LA! NOT HAPPENING! LA-LA-LA-LA-LA!]

being in New York City celebrating our anniversary with 6 days of shopping, eating at good restaurants and partying!!

[LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]

DUmmie FUnnies 01-15-05 ("The Hopi Elders Speak")

I think the DUmmies have been watching too many Billy Jack movie reruns as you can see in this THREAD titled, “A DUer's Wakeup Prayer -- The Hopi Elders Speak.” Read the Hopi Indian prayer below for yourself. Somehow I think something has been lost in the translation. Anyway, the DUmmie Hopi Wannabee chantings are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, humming the Billy Jack theme tune, is in the [brackets]:

This has been my morning meditation for the past year, a gift from a Montana friend. It has really taken on much more meaning in the last few months as, first, I worked as a campaign volunteer; and, later, as I have pondered what I (we) can really do to overcome the turn for the bad that our country has taken. This prayer reminds me that we have much to be thankful for, including the fast flowing river. See all who are here among us at DU and celebrate. We are the ones ....

[Wouldn’t Montana country actually be home to the Sioux? Somehow I think Hopis are very rare in Montana. Anyway, let’s hear your Hopi Prayer.,,]

From the Hopi Elders

[Where’s the Zip Code?]

You have been telling the people that this is the Eleventh Hour.
Now you must go back and tell the people that this is The Hour.

[Okay, this is The Hour. Now what?]

Here are the things that must be considered:
Where are you living?
What are you doing?
What are your relationships?
Are you in right relation?
Where is your water?

[Is this a prayer or some sort of Hopi Q&A? Anyway, my water bottle is in the fridge.]

Know our garden.
It is time to speak your Truth.

[The horse manure in your garden stinks to high heaven.]

Create your community.
Be good to each other.
And do not look outside yourself for the leader.

[I thought it was Create your own Reality. Anyway, enough with the Yakety-Yak! When are we going to get to the Billy Jack Snake Ceremony?]

This could be a good time!

[This could be a good time for you to put up or SHUT UP! We want the Billy Jack Snake Ceremony…..NOW!]

There is a river flowing now very fast.
It is so great and swift that there are those who will be afraid.
They will try to hold on to the shore.
They will feel like they are being torn apart, and they will suffer greatly.

[I'm gonna take this right foot, and I'm gonna whop you on that side of your face...and you wanna know something? There's not a damn thing you're gonna be able to do about it.]

Know the river has its destination.
The elders say we must let go of the shore, push off toward the middle of the river,
keep our eyes open, and our heads above the water.
See who is there with you and celebrate.

[Now, which is it gonna be: drive your car in the lake or get a dislocated elbow?]


At this time in history, we are to take nothing personally, least of all ourselves!
For the moment we do, our spiritual growth and journey comes to a halt.

[Being an Indian is not a matter of blood... it's a way of life.]


The time of the lonely wolf is over. Gather yourselves!
Banish the word struggle from your attitude and vocabulary.
All that we do now must be done in a sacred manner and in celebration.

[A great Indian holy man, Wovoka, is speaking through him.]

We are the ones we have been waiting for.

The Elders, Oraibi, Arizona, Hopi Nation

[Don't let your mistakes crush you and keep you from doing the very best that you can.

Billy Jack, Taos, New Mexico]

I have this very message framed on my wall. I participate in a lot of Sweat Lodge Ceremonies and this was passed out at one of them just prior to Y2K. (The Elders knew what was coming clear back then!)

[Did you buy a Sweat Lodge Ceremony T-Shirt at the gift shop?]

Love that line: "We are the ones we've been waiting for." Didn't know where it came from.

[It came from the Book of Billy Jack, Psalm VII, Verse XV.]

One kick for ...the Dineh and the Zuni and the Acoma and the Laguna; and the Eastern Shoshone and the Northern Arapaho; and the Crow.

[And to the Chanooka and the Dreydel.]

And a kick for ...Little Joe Duran, the Arapaho Keeper of the Pipe

[And a kick for …Little Joe Cartwright, the Bonanza Keeper of the Pipe and the Green Leaves inside the Pipe.]

The heirarchy in the Constitution requires a name so our work is to find a person who represents us authentically and justly Us meaning US.

[President Billy Jack?]

A friend and I were doing some work a week or so ago and the part especially about the river is exactly what we were writing about. It's the reason I'm coming to Washington DC next week.

[Billy Jack Goes to Washington. The last flick of the sacred Billy Jack series.]

That is the most beautiful prayer I've ever read
I'm passing this on to my email list - Powerful

[And don’t forget this Billy Jack Prayer:
I have a lot of fear, but I have a lot more respect. Long ago, I learned that he's my constant companion. He eats with me, he walks we me, he even sleeps with me.]

Leave it to the indigenous ones...not the usurper-oppressor-agressor-genocide-committers, to come up with a holistic, universal, philosophical perspective. Is it apparent to anyone else that we Europeans, in contrast with indigenous peoples, take such a short-sighted and consumptive approach to everything? It makes sense, considering our oppressor/aggressor history.

[Bernard, I want you to know... that I try. When Jean and the kids at the school tell me that I'm supposed to control my violent temper, and be passive and nonviolent like they are, I try. I really try. Though when I see this girl... of such a beautiful spirit... so degraded... and this boy... that I love... sprawled out by this big ape here... and this little girl, who is so special to us we call her "God's little gift of sunshine"... and I think of the number of years that she's going to have to carry in her memory... the savagery of this idiotic moment of yours... I just go BERSERK!]

DUmmie FUnnies 01-14-05 ("Tipper Gore Says Al Gore interested in a 2008 Run")

I was originally planning to do a DUFU about the DUmmies fantasizing about being minor league Billy Jacks and perhaps I will do it in the VERY NEAR future. However, I couldn’t resist doing a DUFU right away about this DUmmie THREAD titled, “Tipper Gore Says Al Gore interested in a 2008 Run,” which is based on a brief mention of this in the NY Post. Admit it, as soon as you read the words, “Al Gore,” a smile came to your lips. Perhaps you even let loose with a chuckle. Why? Because although many of us once found Al Gore to be a pompous annoyance he has now turned himself into a national laughingstock, due in large part to falling off the deep end. Wherever Al Gore goes, the image of him screaming like a maniac, “HE BETRAYED US!!!” will always follow him. Of course, the name Al Gore conjures up other hilarioius images as well: His loud sighing on a debate state while his face was covered with a strange orange rouge that made him look like a space alien. Stalking Bush on another debate stage. And, of course, there are the many HILARIOUS Darrell Hammond impressions of him. Therefore it is with much glee that I WELCOME another Al Gore run for the presidency. It is my great hope that he will supply much comedy material to the DUFUs in the future by re-entering the public view. The DUmmie support for Al Gore is in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, wearing an Algore ’08 button, is in the [brackets]:

Not a whole lot of info. Just a snippet of gossip from the NY Post - so take with a grain of salt.

[Dear God! Please let it be TRUE!!! And a lot of you out there are probably not aware of the fact that YOURS TRULY worked for a couple of years as Algore’s typist when he was writing his “Al Gore At The Movies” reviews.]

He'll win again and still not inhabit the White House

[Just like John Kerry.]

Al has been watching and listening. He's also been living in the real world. I have a feeling that he will be quite prepared for a plethora of eventualities. It has even been said that he has been known to stick his camel's nose under our tent, here at DU, on occasion.

[Hey Al! You are welcome to stick your camel’s nose under the DUmmie FUnnies tent.]

If you're watching and reading this, Al: Go for it! I'm still stinging from 2000, and this past election merely reopened those old wounds. You would have had my vote in '04, and I'd give it again in '08.

[If you’re watching and reading this, Al: Go for it! I’m still laughing from 2000. You still had my laughs in ’04, and I’d give you more laughs again in ’08.]

I will never forget the GREAT series of speeches he gave these last few years. I'll never forget the way he straight out stated what was wrong with what was going on in the bush administration. He criticized the war before anyone. I would be the first person to sign up and work for him.

[To almost everybody else, Al Gore’s speeches were the sign of laughable madness. To the DUmmies it is a sign of greatness because he sounds exactly like they do.]

I will never forget the GREAT series of speeches he gave these last few years. I'll never forget the way he straight out stated what was wrong with what was going on in the bush administration. He criticized the war before anyone. I would be the first person to sign up and work for him.

[“HE BETRAYED US!!!”]


I'd vote for him Gore has become a much better speaker since 2000, he contested the election results when something was fishy, and he's been in the office before under Clinton.

[True. He is a much more entertaining speaker now. Before he just bored us with his sing-song pompousness. Nowadays he delivers the laughs with his mental asylum escapee rantings.]

Because he's found passion and is better able to speak from the heart.

[Losing one’s mind is very helpful as well.]

He can count on many of us to support him. But he needs to watch out for the RWing Smear Machine and the 'new' democratic snakes that will try to block him at every step

[Block him? And miss out on all those laughs? NO WAY!]

When the hell will we STOP choosing our candidates based on what the other side thinks?

[Don’t listen to us laughing at Algore. Nominate him. PLEASE!]

I'm not concerned about the other side. I just want a candidate that isn't damaged goods. I still cringe every now and then at Gore. That's a problem.

[LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]

We have to win over the writers for Leno & Letterman. It seems that many Americans are influenced by them.

[Don’t worry. I’m sure those writers fully support Al Gore. Algore comedy practically writes itself.]

Gore, however, kept playing into their stereotype. The media chant of serial exaggerator was well established, and he kept reinforcing it. I remember watching the debates, when he said things like, "Well, I know a little something about...In fact, I even..." I wanted to throw shit at the TV.

[You weren’t alone in that reaction.]

I'm wearing a Gore 2000 shirt right now and i hope to be wearing a Gore 2008 shirt soon.

[Better get a larger size shirt to fit the new Algore on it.]

His whole life seems to me to be one long calculated attempt ...to avenge his father's defeat and go to the White House.

[LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]

The main reason that I support a Gore candidacy in 2008 is because it would facilitate bringing the United States back into the global community.

[Translation: Making the USA subservient to the United Nations and the laws of the World Court.]

It would heal the country. True contrition for theft requires not only sorrow for the act itself, but restitution of the thing stolen to the one from whom it was stolen.

[A reparations payment to Algore in the form of giving him the White House.]

If you honestly believe that a majority of voters will flock to the polls on election day in 2008 and vote for Al Gore as some act of contrition, you are very, very, very, very naive.

[LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]

Okay, so why is the neocon-owned NYP pimping a Gore run?

[For the LAUGHS of course. For the LAUGHS!]

President Gore has my vote, my labor and my money

[Since Bev Harris is starting up an Algore ’08 fundraising drive, send your money to her.]

Gore/Dean in 2008!! That's a ticket I can enthusiastically support

[How about Gore/Heinz in 2008? Chris Heinz is rested, ready, and wants a career change from just being a wealthy paperweight.]

DUmmie FUnnies 01-14-05 ("One Week from Today, It's Going to Hurt Real Bad....")

This DUmmie THREAD was originally posted yesterday so the premise posed in the title, “One Week from Today, It's Going to Hurt Real Bad....” is referring to Inauguration Day. It is VERY INTERESTING to read the DUmmie responses and, again, I remind them of the Suicide Hotline Number: 1-800-BUSH-WON. As usual, the grieving DUmmie mournings are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, freezing on the inauguration parade bleachers, is in the [brackets]:

One Week from Today, It's Going to Hurt Real Bad....Let's face it: on Inauguration Day, it's gonna hurt real bad to see the smirking face of a flesh-eating virus steal the Presidency for the second time, and receive the Oath of Office from his co-conspirator William Renquisling, Chief Justice of the United States of America.

[Look at the bright side: William “Renquisling,” due to health problems, will probably be replaced with a younger conservative soon by that “flesh-eating virus.”]

It's going to hurt real bad, because:
1. There were a number of times when we felt: We finally got the bastards, only to be disappointed in the end.

[Correct. You DUmmies thought you had him in September because of that 60 Minutes report about Bush and the Texas Air National Guard. Your gloating soon ended when FREEPER Buckhead quickly exposed the documents CBS used as being forgeries. Then your gloating resumed bigtime on the afternoon of Election Day when you believed the phony election polls. My theory is that Robert Shrum officially killed Kerry’s chances when he addressed the senator as “Mr. President” that day.]

2. There were a number of times when we felt the big gray mass of the American electorate would finally start listening, only to be disappointed in the end.

[And a big part of the reason you lost was the mindset that considers the American electorate to be a “big gray mass.”]

But in one week, we will witness one of the saddest events in this century. And we won't know if it will take a month, a year, or a decade to undo the damage, and take back our country. It's really going to hurt real bad when it happens. Be prepared.

[1-800-BUSH-WON]

To many (including me) this regime is temporary and doesn't have ANY legitimacy.

[I BEEEEELEEEEVE that the Bush Regime will last only until Jan. 21.]

I feel the same way, but Bush will officially be President...I can't imagine we'll be happy.

[Chris Heinz will be wearing a black band around his Perrier bottle in mourning.]

NOT MY PRESIDENT . . .for I live in America where Presidents are elected, not selected, and where the REAL title goes to the one who EARNS it, not CLAIMS it. Some will call him President and he can "officially" be their President, but I will never acknowledge him as my President. I had to do it in 2000 and I swear I will never bow to cheaters, liars, and thieves again.

[As God is my witness, as God is my witness they're not going to lick me. I'm going to live through this and when it's all over, I'll never be hungry again. No, nor any of my folk. If I have to lie, steal, cheat or kill. As God is my witness, I'll never be hungry again.]

You can eother obey his dictat or go to jail. Once shrub is sworn in, we will be forced to obey his wishes, and if we don't the full force of the law enforcement will be staring in our face. It is indeed a SAD DAY, Jan 20th.

[Fear the wrath of our Glorious Emperor, the mighty Chimpus Khan!]

Can I take my pillow? Or are you talking the kind of jail that is overseas and south of FL that people do not return from?

[That horrible, horrible place where the prisoners are tortured with air conditioning.]

Forced to obey his wishes? LOL. We'll still have all the same rights we have today (for now, anyway). We can still fight him through all of the means we are using right now. He's not being sworn in as God, as much as he would like to think he is. He does not make the law.

[LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]

…but on Jan. 21 who will be the POTUS ?

[DAMN! You always come up with those tough questions. Let me do a week of research on the Web and maybe I can find the answer.]

I plan a total media black-out that day. Now news, no c-span, no radio ...

[Shut my eyes, cover my ears, and yell, “LA-LA-LA-LA! NOT GOING TO SEE OR HEAR IT!!! LA-LA-LA-LA!”]

Keep pressure on Congress to help the dems have some backbone. Work locally to get voter verified paper ballots with auditing. Frame the debate. Keep digging into the election fraud to build the case for impeachment. Keep exposing all the lies.

[Ah! More of my pet DUmmie ants performing the circular mill routine again.]

Not watching, not listening and not verifying! Not MY President. Karma, karma, karma! Waiting for the MELT-DOWN!!!!

[Eyes closed! Ears covered! LA-LA-LA-LA!!! KARMA-MA-MA-MA!!!]

Remember, NOT ONE DAMN DIME next Thursday. And wear your BLUE PAPERCLIP ...Or ORANGE with your black clothes (will be fun explaining why you are dressing for Halloween in January!)

[Especially when you have a dime clipped with a blue paperclip to your orange and black shirt.]

I'll be hugging my children and delighting in their smiles. I'll be praying for them.

[You will also be delighting in the fact that you won the DUmmie Drama Queen Award of the Week.]

I got hurt in 2000 and haven't stopped hurting since.

[Try Blue Emu.]

DUmmie FUnnies 01-13-05 ("Is Al Qaeda Just a Bush Boogeyman?")

So what is Robert Scheer’s DUmmie screen name? I have to ask because I came upon this DUmmie THREAD titled, “Is Al Qaeda Just a Bush Boogeyman?” I thought it was just another kooky DUmmie conspiracy theory until I found out that it is the title of Scheer’s recent Los Angeles Times ARTICLE and the DUmmies were merely reciting from Scheer’s talking points. So let us lead off with excerpts from the Scheer article followed by the echos from his fellow DUmmies. As usual, the tinfoil hat DUmmie theories are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent is in the [brackets]:

Is it conceivable that Al Qaeda, as defined by President Bush as the center of a vast and well-organized international terrorist conspiracy, does not exist?

[In Dummieland, anything is conceivable. But continue with the Scheer article…]


To even raise the question amid all the officially inspired hysteria is heretical, especially in the context of the U.S. media's supine acceptance of administration claims relating to national security. Yet a brilliant new BBC film produced by one of Britain's leading documentary filmmakers systematically challenges this and many other accepted articles of faith in the so-called war on terror.

[BBC is like a government owned version of a DUmmie broadcast site.]


"The Power of Nightmares: The Rise of the Politics of Fear," a three-hour historical film by Adam Curtis recently aired by the British Broadcasting Corp., argues coherently that much of what we have been told about the threat of international terrorism "is a fantasy that has been exaggerated and distorted by politicians. It is a dark illusion that has spread unquestioned through governments around the world, the security services and the international media."

[According to the BBC the TRUE Axis of Evil is Bush-Cheney-Rove.]

If Osama bin Laden does, in fact, head a vast international terrorist organization with trained operatives in more than 40 countries, as claimed by Bush, why, despite torture of prisoners, has this administration failed to produce hard evidence of it?

[Two missing towers in New York City is pretty hard evidence of it. And now for the DUmmie commentary although I consider the Scheer article itself to also be Dummie commentary.]

Life isn't fair most of the times. I think a headline like this (not criticizing YOUR post mind you but the column) leaves the impression that the writer is out of touch with current events (and I'm not talking about Iraq).

[The column also leaves the impression that the writer is out of touch with reality, you LOUSY FREEPER TROLL.]

My question is, did the MSM really believe this shit in the first place? Or are Rove and company so weakened that no one's afraid of them any more?

[The power of A Perfect Rovian Storm NEVER weakens.]

To me it's always been a bogeyman. The MSM are beginning to discuss this now - which is good. Unfortunately they are only discussing it AFTER civil rights have been restricted all over the western world. And now - even if it would be proved that Al Quaeda was a Rove invention - they would never go back on it.

[The loss of our Civil Rights since 9-11 is TERRIBLE. If you are a terrorist, you can expect to be prevented from freely flying in a passenger jet. I mourn the loss of this civil right. DAMN YOU, ROVE!!!]

The Bushies want neverending war, whether it's necessary or not, and they're determined to scare the hell out of the public to keep that perpetual war going. Without that scare tactic, the public will see them as they are--a bunch of greedy, ideologically-driven assholes using the public for their own purposes.

[Thank you for your input and we will seriously consider your application to become a BBC producer.]

The War Machine needs a focus of evil...often former allies. It's scary being friends with America when it runs out of villains.

[And you should consider becoming a BBC reporter.]

Osama bin Laden in the Bronx??? My husband, who is the most grounded person I know, truly believes that the Bushies captured bin Laden and just trot him out to read the scripts they give him every once in a while. Let's be honest - bin Laden's appearance on Oct 30 won Bushie the election, right, so I have to wonder if he's right.

[Yes. They made Osama read the Oct. 30 script which was taped in the backroom of Sal’s grocery in the Bronx under the L.]

OBL is like the Immanuell Goldstein out of 1984 by George Orwell. He is alive, he is every time there, when he is needed, he can not die.

[Immanuel Goldstein ordered the destruction of the Twin Towers?]

LA Times will be smeared... just like CBS got its ass handed to it for reveal Abu Ghraib.

[…Helped along very slightly by the fact that Dan Rather used forged documents to support a phony story.]

DUmmie FUnnies 01-12-05 ("Uh-Oh....Air America ratings slipping in NYC?")

Err America Radio is flopping bigtime in the ratings and the DUmmies analyze this situation in this THREAD titled, “Uh-Oh....Air America ratings slipping in NYC?” Yes, Err America Radio, launched with much fanfare a year ago, is going straight down the tubes. But the Left need fear not. They will still have National Public Radio if Err America gives up the ghost. As usual the DUmmie whinings are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, wishing that he could receive Laura Ingraham on the radio, is in the [brackets]:

Uh-Oh....Air America ratings slipping in NYC?
This is from Drudge, so one has to consider the source. But if true, it's not good news.

'AIR AMERICA' RATINGS TURBULENCE IN NY CITY: Surprising many observers who expected it to shine during election season, all-liberal upstart WLIB (1190 AM) -- base station for Al Franken and Janeane Garofalo -- actually headed south, shedding 15% of its summer audience to finish fall at 24th place in just-released ARBITRONS...

[24th place? What was in 23th place? The Static Sound Hour?]

Get rid of Jeanine Grafolo maybe 7-10 will become listenable again

[The sound of paint drying would get higher ratings than Grafolo. Or is her name Crayolo?]

They need to work on the FUNNY and the SNARKY...and lighten up on the earnestness a bit. There's a fine line between an outraged, though humorous, rant and HECTORING.

[They also need to work on the RATIONALITY.]

I hate to say it, but some of AA is getting very tiresome...and it rhymes with Sandi Sodes. If I hear this woman blow shit and go high-and-mighty on one more friendly caller... Well, that won't happen, because I stopped listening to her weeks ago. My blood pressure has dropped probably 20 points since then.

[Take it easy on Randi Rhodes. The other day she spent two hours whining that countries could have been warned that a tsunami was coming with a mere phone call. She kept repeating that over and over for only a couple of hours. In the old days, Randi would have spent three whole hours beating that subject to death.]

I like Randi, but I think Morning Sedition (and ESPECIALLY Marc Maron) is 3 hours of un-listenable sophomoric drivel. A third rate comic hack who is amazingly unfunny should be doing a stupid sitcom for WB - not trying to educate an audience.

[Strange. I feel exactly the same way about the Glenn Beck show. Maybe we should have a contest over who is a more boring comedian wannabee. Glenn Beck or Marc Maron.]

I dislike it when Randi goes postal on liberal callers. I finally had to stop listening to her, too.

[Randi has been going postal for years.]

they need to get a better signal (I can barely hear the radio through the static when I'm not streaming)

[I heard that the Err America New York station is powered by Chris Heinz riding a static bicycle pedal generator.]

Find more people like Randi and Mike that speak with conviction and passion.

[Holding auditions in the mental asylums might be a good start.]

Randi, she is great, but her tangents get tiresome, sometimes it is her voice.

[The rest of the time it is just her annoying personality.]

DUmmie FUnnies 01-11-05 ("Message from Chris Heinz")

When I first saw this DUmmie THREAD titled “Message from Chris Heinz,” I figured the MESSAGE must be something of great import. I half expected to see something like an Astronaut Dave Bowman type exclamation from 2010 when he declared, “My God! It's full of stars!” Instead I came upon a completely mundane statement by the freeloading Chris that he supports someone named Simon Rosenberg for the DNC Chair. So why would that parasitic rich boy even bother to publicly support some obscure guy for the DNC Chair? To find the answer to this one must think back to the 2004 Campaign when Chris, while under the influence of a bit too much fermented juice, drunkenly declared that Jews in the USA have too much influence on politics. Couple that statement with the fact the sobriety challenged one also wants to become a congressman after a lifetime of carefully avoiding real work. Therefore in order to pathetically try to make amends for his drunken slur, Trust Fund Chris makes a point to loudly declare his support for some little known fellow with a Jewish sounding name to become Chair of the DNC. All that money that Prep Boy Chris has been surrounded by since birth has shielded him from the reality that his OBVIOUS ploy just isn’t going to work. Sorry, Chris, but your own past will come back to haunt you if you are ever dumb enough to run for Congress. So let us now lead off with the “all-important” message from Chris Heinz followed by statements from his fellow DUmmies. As usual the DUmmie (which includes Heinz) postings are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, holding a breathalyzer at the ready, is in the [brackets]:

Hi Folks,

I have been watching the debate over DNC Chair here at DU for some time. I agree with the assessment that it is the most important that Dems will make over the next two years. I also understand and respect that many here support Gov. Dean's effort. I cannot blame them, given the innovative leadership his campaign for Presidency brought to the party, and because of the efficacy of his term as head of DGA.

[Hi Chris! So if you like Dean so much why not just support him for the DNC Chair? Oops! I forgot! You have to make amends for your drunken campaign trail slur. So now just go ahead an slip in your not so subtle political ploy…]

Some of you may have seen that I am supporting Simon Rosenberg for chair. A link to my statement can be found here:

http://www.simonforchair.com/press/press_releases/01-11-2005_Endorsements.html

[Okay let me check out your statement: “"ALL THESE WORLDS ARE YOURS EXCEPT EUROPA. ATTEMPT NO LANDINGS THERE. USE THEM TOGETHER. USE THEM IN PEACE." OOPS! I overestimated you, Chris. Actually you issued a rather forgettable statement so as to, hopefully, make us forget your drunken slur last Fall.]


I think the statement speaks for itself. Simon is someone that I have seen put a lot of energy and thought to the long term strategy necessary to rebuild the party. Indeed, I have seen many post noting that he shares many of the same ideas of the Governor, whom I greatly respect and got to know a little after the primary.

[The funniest part of that link was this description of you: “Five prominent Democratic leaders joined the growing list of supporters of Simon Rosenberg in his race to become Chairman of the DNC. Endorsing today are some of the most important emerging national leaders of the Party, including: Chris Heinz, Bronx, NY Borough President Adolfo Carrion, Georgia State Labor Commissioner Michael Thurmond, Deleware State Treasurer Jack Markell and Kentucky State Treasurer Jonathan Miller.” Chris Heinz is a “prominent Democratic leader?” Sorry, Chris, but your sole qualification for being a Democrat leader is that you lived through birth and inherited a vast fortune.]

Anyhow, I would just say two things:

[We’re waiting with bated breath for your Prominent Democrat Leader voice from the Aspen mountaintop to enlighten us peons.]

1) My endorsement is not a signal from John Kerry, my stepfather, who I think has very responsibly removed himself from influencing the process.

[“I supported Simon Rosenberg before I didn’t support him.”]

2) I have seen many people note policy disagreements with some who are running for the Chair. The war in Iraq is a particularly pointed issue here (it is for me, too), as is a woman's right to choose. These are valid data points. Personally, I am less concerned about the DNC chair's own policy positions, and more concerned about the blocking and tackling we need to improve to win in the future.

[Blocking and tackling? Is this the DNC Chair or the NFL Chair?]

I'd love to hear people's thoughts about point 2.

[Yeah. Just what were you drinking when you came up with that dopey sports analogy?]

In the end, however, maybe some combination of leadership is best. In the meantime, I am very excited about the prospect of Simon's leadership.

[In the end, however, maybe it would have been better to have just kept your mouth shut and play with your Trust Fund bucks.]

Best to DU,

Chris

[Best to you, Chris. Let us know when you find a REAL job instead of awkwardly playing sandbox politics.]

I don't even know who Simon Rosenberg is And I don't even have the motivation to find out.

[Neither did I until I Googled him. Apparently Rosenberg has a high opinion of himself. Here is a sample unhumble statement: “I come out of the media world—I’ve produced shows [for ABC]—and I helped create Clintonism from a policy standpoint in 1992.”]

He is the chairman of the New Democrtic Network. The WSJ also is rallying behind him. With all do respect to Chris Heinz, no thanks. More of the same what got us here.

[But Prominent Democrat Leader, Chris Heinz, is supporting Rosenberg. That should be good enough for you.]

Gee, I hardly wait to go to work for Mr Rosenberg. Or maybe I could work directly for the GOP, and save going through the middleman?

[Good idea. My lawn needs mowing. Oh, and don’t forget to rake the leaves.]

I would have to hear that Rosenberg intends to expose the GOP control of most of the media nd most of the voting machines. Those are the only two reasons that the GOP maintains its stranglehold on government.

[The GOP definitely controls most of the media and the voting machines…..in an alternate universe.]

I hope Kerry enjoyed his Christmas party talking with schmucks like Dennis Miller when we the base haven't seen him anywhere since he went back on his word and conceded.

[I beg to differ. I saw Kerry snowboarding down an Idaho slope while Chris Heinz was roasting his chestnuts back at the lodge. But let us hear from Prominent Democrat Leader, Chris Heinz, again…]

Well, I cant believe that this gets pen. I was at the party too. It is held every year. JK has known Maria for 30 years. And I havent seen it mentioned anywhere that Bruce Springsteen, Rob Reiner and alot of other committed Dems were there too.

[Was Babs at the party too? Huh? Huh? Huh? We love reading how you are hanging out with the glitterati, Chris.]

That's all well and good but you have to start understanding how we the base, the ones who phone banked, donated money, got as many people to register as possible felt when Kerry conceded hours after John Edwards step out to say they will fight for every vote. Many here have had enough with this corrupt system. We want real leadership. We want people with guts and a voice to step up and call voting fraud, FRAUD! Many of the leaders that have our party in this mess need to start emulating the actions of John Conyors.

[You lousy peon! How dare you talk to Prominent Democrat Leader, Chris Heinz, that way? Anyway, let us hear from the Prominent Democrat Leader again…]

I know that's how some people feel. I do. At the same time, I didn't exactly nap through the election. I consider myself and my opinion as part of the base's too.

[Oh, don’t be so modest, Chris. A billion bucks says you are BETTER than the rabble.]

With all due respect...you may be part of the 'base'...but you're also one of the 'haves' and most of the base consists of the 'have-nots'. When was the last time you had to go without healthcare? When was the last time you had a hard time paying the mortgage or make a choice between paying a bill or buying prescriptions?

[It will happen in the year 2525 when Chris’s trust funds are due to run out.]

With respect, since Simon Rosenberg isn't exactly a household name, I will study. However, support from the WSJ is a grand negative for me.

[Hmm…Let us allow Prominent Democrat Leader, Chris Heinz, address that “grand negative.”]

Support from WSJ Ed Pages is not a bonus for any Dem. How can I argue that?

[That’s the SUM TOTAL of your defense of Simon Rosenberg? “How can I argue with that?” Perhaps you better take another swig of the silly sauce, Chris, and a real answer might marinate somewhere in your brain cells.]

I feel that policy is very important to those willing to put leather to the pavement .

[A DUmmie proposes that policy is important and now Chris Heinz will attempt to reply…]

Policy is very important. It will drive our energy for change. I just dont think the personal policy positions of the DNC Chair are as importnat as his or her ability to organize and bring folks together. At the end of the day, I believe the Chair should be a facilitator for Candidates and their positions, but not a candidate himself. From personal experience, I think Simon would excel at that. He gave me very precient advise about our efforts on capturing young voters in this election.

[The marinating brain cells of Chris Heinz have just produced a gaggle of buzz words.]

I would prefer a direct straight talker who has populous appeal rather than a policy wonk consultant for the corporate class. The fact that he advised the Kerry campaign about appealing to the youth vote--which turned out to be a no-show...well...

[Hey, those MTV kids had to rest up for their Rave club all-nighters. It was too much to expect them to wait more than 15 minutes on a poll line. But let us now hear Prominent Democrat Leader, Chris Heinz, give us the benefit of his sage wisdom on this topic…]

Have to disagree with you on the Youth Vote we won it 54 – 44. voter turnout in 2000 for ages 18-29 was 41.9%. voter turnout in 2004 for ages 18-29 was 52%. In battlegrounds, turnout was 64%, above the national average in 2000, but slightly below overall turnout (68%)

[Yeah, and you also won Ohio too, right?]

A question for you Chris. Is there a particular reason that you are not supporting Dean for this?

[Because Dean can’t help Chris to divert attention away from his “anti-semantic” moment last Fall while blabbering under the influence. And speaking about blabbering, time now for Chris to blabber once again…]

I dont think you or I need a change in allegiance. And I didn't come on the board to change minds. Honestly. Just to explain myself so Simon's announcement wouldnt exist in a vacuum. I got to know and enjoy Gov Dean personally over the last year. I respect him very much, not something I would have said on the eve of the Caucus last year. hopefully both will have meaningful roles going forward. Indeed, it may not be Simon's time now. I have no idea. But I am proud to support his bid and I am certain he is a great, if underappreciated, backstage leader of the party whose best days are ahead of him.

[So it doesn’t really matter whether or not Rosenberg becomes DNC Chair. What really matters is that you showed the flag in your support of him in a craven attempt to make things right about your slur of last Fall.]

"Rosen-who?" Nutshells this bad idea nicely. Does Howard Dean get no credit at all for the grass roots energy he's brought back to this party? Sheeesh. Ungrateful f**ers.

[Before you go off the deep end, let us hear on this subject from Prominent Democrat Leader, Chris Heinz…]

You can do better than that. Ungrateful f*#kers?

[How about “Drunken Rich Brat?”]


Chris, is Simon interested in the DNC using ranked voting ballots and holding all primaries on the same day?

[I personally can’t stand the smell of rank voting ballots but let us hear how Prominent Democrat Leader, Chris Heinz, feels…]

I cannot answer that. Simon is in favor of clean elections, though I believe the leadership on this issue should originate in Congress and at the state level. I have thought alot about the primary calendar issue recently, and I must say that one thing that scares me about single day primaries is that I believe it would allow the media even more ability to drive the outcome. It would lesson the amount of real voter contact, Q&As, etc, that candidates are forced to give because of the scale of New Hampshire and Iowa contests. Also, to run nationally upfront in the primaries would cost even more money, and could lesson the abilitiy of upstarts/underfunded candidates to win. just some thoughts.

[Simon is in favor of clean elections? How controversial! Is he also in favor of apple pie? Anyway, thanks for the political science “lesson,” Chris.]

ATTN CHRIS: A question for YOU, please. What I am wondering.....Why NOT Howard Dean????

Because Dean won’t help Chris in his attempt to make people overlook the fact that he dissed the Juden last Fall. But let us allow Prominent Democrat Leader, Chris Heinz, answer the question…]

I like Dean. You wont see me bitching and moaning if he gets the job. Personally, I would love to have a young, visionary person in charge. Especially one of Simon's caliber.

[Shlomo Finkelstein is up for the job. Never heard of him either, Chris, but his name alone might help you overcome your “little problem” if Rosenberg bails out.]

I really want to understand as I believe you have insight to the workings of certain circles. I'm not being flip, but are you saying that you would choose Rosenberg over Dean because Rosenberg is younger and more visionary than Dean? I think we have all given you lots of reasons Rosenberg would not be our first pick. I want to understand why Dean would NOT be your 1st choice.

[Perhaps Dean would be okay with Chris if the Vermont Doc adopted his wife’s maiden name. But Dean is too Waspy of a name to do Chris any good in overcoming his running at the mouth problem. Now speak, Chris, speak…]

I dont think that it is smart for me to do in a public forum. Sorry, I have seen my posts refectled elsewhere on conservative blogs. But for the life of me, Duers, I am for Simon Rosenberg, not AGAINST Howard Dean.

[Your posts get reflected on conservative blogs? Now where would you get a crazy idea like that, Chris? Hee! Hee!]

DUmmie FUnnies 01-11-05 ("What are your plans for Inauguration Day?")

So what are the DUmmie plans for Inauguration Day? Many of them will be calling the Suicide Hotline Number: 1-800-BUSH-WON. But what of the others? As we can see in this DUmmie THREAD titled, “What are your plans for Inauguration Day?” some of them play to lie in bed all day and cry but others are planning ILLEGAL activities such as tossing eggs and bananas at the President or at Freepers (which the DUmmies call anyone who is a Bush supporter). Fortunately, I happen to know that the DUmmie FUnnies are read by many government officials so the DUmmies have inadvertently alerted the law enforcement agencies as to their illegal activities. Here is how the drill is going to go: DUmmies will enter D.C. on Inauguaration Day carrying eggs, bananas, and other potential missiles. Then they will be STOPPED by law enforcement officers and such objects will be REMOVED from them. Then they will slink back to DUmmieland crybabying about how they were “harassed” by the Fascist Regime. So let us now read of the DUmmie plans for Inauguration Day. The DUmmie rantings are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, shivering on the outdoor Inauguration Parade bleachers, is in the [brackets]:

What are your plans for Inauguration Day? I'll be in DC...video cameras at the ready...eggs/bananas at the ready...ready for some freeper joisting...

[Don’t be surprised if your face “accidentally” slams against a Freeper Fist when you try to egg him.]

Throw an egg for me. It's my birthday, I'll be avoiding anything to do with it.

[You will also avoid having your face “accidentally” slamming against a Freeper Fist.

I'll have an egg or banana with your best birthday wishes

[And you will be wiping a lot of birthday cake icing off your face after it makes contact with a Freeper Fist the moment you toss that bannana or egg.]

Wake at 7.... turn off alarm. Realize what day it is. Cry. Put covers over head. Cry. Lie in bed all day. Cry.

[If your heartaches seem to hang around too long

And your blues keep getting bluer with each song

Remember sunshine can be found behind a cloudy sky

So let your hair down and go on and cry.]


protesting, wearing orange, in my hometown. cant afford DC but can afford to take the day off and go protest in Seattle. I'll wear orange and am still thinking of what to put on my sign.

[How about: “Still Visualizing My Own Reality”?]

What are the eggs for? If your implying that you might try to egg Bush, tell the SS I said hi. I am sure you will have plenty of time to talk to them.

[And then self-righteously post in DUmmieland about how the “Fascist Regime” harassed you.]

I've egged Bush's bus this summer, so I'm pretty familiar with the drill. It's a fast, quick motion. The eggs stay in your pocket until the last possible moment. Very exhilarating!

[Yes. You’ll find your visit to the D.C. jail to be “very exhilarating” DUmmie zulchzulu.]

I would have a good lawyer on call and retainer. You will be dropped like a sack of potatoes and whisked away before the egg hits the ground.

[And if the eggs hit a Freeper, Dummie zulchzulu will definitely hit the ground like a sack of potatoes.]

Boil one of those eggs before you throw it. I'll be in the rainforests of Costa Rica.

[Unfortunately for you, DUmmie tk2kewl, the only forest you will be in will be as part of a prison road crew wearing your beloved orange.]

For 24 Hours SHUT DOWN THE U.S. ECONOMY. Not one damn dime for gasoline. Not one damn dime for necessities or for impulse purchases. Not one damn dime for anything for 24 hours. Boycott Walmart, KMart and Target. Don't go to the mall or the local convenience store. Don't buy any fast food (or any groceries at all for that matter). For 24 hours, please do what you can to shut the retail economy down. Not one dime on pay per view, stamps, don't put mail in your mailbox, nothing. The object is simple. Don't spend, Don't work, Don't participate in the economy.

[I see you’re visualizing your own reality again.]

Is there going to be any kind of protest in the San Fran area?

[Yes. Lying in front of fast moving Cable Cars.]

Puke, puke, and puke some more.

[Try not to stain your orange diaper.]

I will wear black. I will wear a black armband, and put black flags up in my yard.

[Have you no fashion sense? The official “vote fraud” protest colors are orange and black…the Halloween colors.]

DUmmie FUnnies 01-10-05 ("CBS Ousts 4 For Bush Guard Story")

It is interesting to read the Dummie reaction to the release of the CBS Memogate report and the firing of 4 news employees on this THREAD titled, “CBS Ousts 4 For Bush Guard Story.” If you remember, the DUmmies swallowed that original 60 Minutes story hook, line, and sinker. They were gloating over the damage the CBS Texas Air National story did to Bush. But even as they were gloating, Freeper Buckhead had already cast aspersions upon the authenticity of the letter CBS used to support their assertion that Bush got special treatment in the National Guard. Within days, the DUmmie gloating turned to ashes in their mouths as it turned out the letter was fraudulent. One strange aftereffect of this affair is that many DUmmies wanted to become leftwing versions of Buckhead as can be noted in their wild theories to explain away many things, such as why Bush won the election. However, let us now observe the DUmmie reaction to the release of the Memogate report. As usual the DUmmie comments are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent is in the [brackets]:

Most people here on DU will see it as a reiteration...of the shrub's spoiled childhood, but I guarantee that the talking heads and right-wing radio will focus on....."The panel said a “myopic zeal” to be the first news organization to broadcast"....and use that as "proof" of left-wing media bias.

[Actually the panel went pretty soft on the bias issue. Does anybody, except INSANE DUmmies, actually think this wasn’t a case of bias against Bush on the part of CBS and Dan Rather?]

Why are Dem media persona held to higher standards than Republicans?

[Thanx for the admission that Dan Rather, Mary Mapes, & CBS personnel are DEMOCRATS.]

Because they are purging Dems from big media.

[And thank you for seconding the admission.]

If you read the debates in DU at the time CBS aired the piece you will find that there were quite a few DUers that did not believe the documents were authentic and that took offense to Dan Rather's stonewalling when questions were raised in the MSM about the same documents.

[Dummie Moderator IndianaGreen here trying to rewrite history. Very LITTLE questioning of the authenticity of documents in DUmmieland when the initial doubts began. When later it was almost impossible to deny the fact that the TANG letter was a forgery, the DUmmies blamed Karl Rove for being behind it.]

There has been no evidence whatsoever that proves that these documents are false regardless of what Howie Kurtz and the rest of the major propagandists tell you.

[And this DUmmie gives lie to IndianaGreen’s assertion that there was much doubt cast upon the authenticity of those documents in DUmmieland. The fact is that, despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary, many or perhaps most DUmmies STILL believe they were authentic.]

AFTER the report aired, and the freepers "discovered" that the memos were phony (it was clear they were tipped off by someone in the Rove network) -- only THEN did Mary Mapes decide it would be a good idea to call Burkett's alleged source. The alleged source told that he knew nothing about the memos.

[Yes it was all part of a vast Rovian network that tipped off the freepers about the phony memos.]

The memos were never determined to be phony. What was determined was that they had been copied so many times over that it was impossible to determine they were authentic. By extension, it was also impossible to determine they were phony.

[Plus there was the matter of the justified right margin and the th superscript that an ordinary typewriter of the early 70s would have been able to reproduce. But let us not let the facts stand in the way that it was only a matter of being copied so many times that the authenticity could not have been verified.]

The focus should be on the content, not on the pieces of paper themselves.

[The TANG story MUST be true even if the facts don’t support it.]

And the sad fact of the matter is that there is damned good evidence that bush* DID NOT fulfill his Guard obligation, not to mention being AWOL (which, by ALL definitions he was) or his disobeying a DIRECT ORDER to have his physical so he could maintain his flight status. It seems the whole mess is now a non-story. But keep in mind that the documents have NEVER been proved to be a forgery. NEVER!!

[I can just picture this DUmmie getting wasted at a bar with Dan Rather and they are both screaming together: “The documents have NEVER been proved to be a forgery. NEVER!!”]

Rather and Guiliani should charter the "We Got Roved" Club

[A Perfect Rovian Storm.]

CBS's mishandling of this news story effectively neutralized the issue of Bush's missing service in the TANG. It was almost as if CBS's source had been an agent of the GOP, and CBS took the bait (along with many other people).

[And judging from all the gloating in DUmmieland right after the TANG story aired, most of you DUmmies took the bait too.]

The documents gave easy cover to the Republicans during the campaign, and that pisses me off.

[My condolences on the fact that the TANG story backfired on you.]

Rather and Mapes were after Bush for five years. Bush knew this, Rove knew this and they played Rather like a fool. Whether the story was planted by Rove or not, Mapes should have taken the time to decipher the story before presenting it to Rather for broadcast. The story they should have run should not have been about Bush's TANG service. It should have been about passing off documents to CBS.

[Right. Karl Rove dressed up like Lucy Ramirez and passed the fake documents off to a drunken Burkett in a Kinko’s parking lot.]

When this broke, I kinda felt this way too.
I mean, it was just too perfect for Bush, it made him out to be the victim! We still don't know WHERE those documents came from.
It looks like we never may know, but it SURE was too convenient for Bush, wasn't it...

[Let me get this straight. The documents are authentic but if they are fake it was because it was a Rovian operation to sting CBS.]

Where is the report on Ohio?

[On the bottom of Karl Rove’s bird cage.]

Back when this thing broke out, I remember thinking how this was so perfect for Bush. It worked in his favor, and most of my not-too-political friends (most democrats) thought that this DID prove that CBS was biased. I can imagine that this probably converted a few more votes to Bush from those idiot "undecideds".

[Just enough votes to give the election to Bush. The vast Rovian plot worked PERFECTLY.]

The real story here is Bush missing his physical. Why? He had been doing community service in Houston on a coke possession charge. He would have failed the drug test. Helen Thomas tried to get information on this at a WH press conference but was rudely ignored. Rove wanted to divert all guard duty issues to Bush's service only

[And I have an early 70s letter here with a right justified margin and superscript th to verify this story.]

the republicans own the media in all shapes and forms...there is no getting the truth out.....its hidden...except when the Democrats are in the wrong and everything is blown out of context........

[Apparently your meds have already kicked in.]

Is there a good blog that tells our side of the story?

[www.AlternateReality.com]

DUmmie FUnnies 01-10-05 ("Many Americans [DUmmies] refuse to concede 'stolen election'")

Mark Steyn wrote a terrific ARTICLE in today’s Washington Times titled “Alternative Universe” about the refusal of the DUmmies to accept the reality of the election results. And to see more proof of the refusal of the DUmmies to face reality, I present here this Dummie THREAD titled, “Many Americans refuse to concede 'stolen election'.” This Dummie Discussion is in Bolshevik Red and is based on a Cleveland Plain Dealer ARTICLE of the same title. So let us lead off this DUFU edition with an excerpt from the Cleveland Plain Dealer story. And if you haven’t figured it out by now, the commentary of your humble correspondent is in the [brackets]:

While a two-hour debate raged on the floors of the U.S. House and Senate over the certification of the presidential election, more than 400 activists waited outside to learn which of their leaders would join their cause. Under an overcast sky, the Rev. Jesse Jackson told the activists - still refusing to accept the results of the November election - not to be bitter. As he spoke, many of them wept, because for some, the anger over what they refer to as "the stolen election" is precisely what won't let them let go.

[True. The DUmmies just CAN’T get over their anger as any visitor to DUmmieland can plainly see.]

America is being attacked by the Super-wealthy and by the ignorant who carry their message for them. We here on the East Coast have been crying and will always be there for those disenfranchised. I believe Jesse has a very good message. We will never forget the actions of this administration and it's political clout.

[As I stated, the DUmmies just CAN’T get over it.]

I don't blame these people for being pissed because I know I was. It still makes me sick to think Kerry conceded so fast. I still don't understand why.

[Um….Maybe because he LOST? Of course, this is just wild speculation on my part.]

Kerry was taking one for his frat brother.
The loyalty of the super-wealthy to each other goes far beyond any
obligation Kerry may have felt to his party.This was a staged election.

[Please don’t forget to send a contribution to the Kerry ’08 Committee.]

I expect Kerry conceeded because he believed there was no way to pull off a win, and felt that any extended battle would do more damage than it could help. We may or may not feel the same, but I can see the point.

[LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!]

I will go to my grave knowing and telling anybody who will listen that
this election was stolen and the man and the leadership who promised to have "our backs" if we watched his quit on us. Long Live the Boxer Rebellion We can not and should not go quietly into that "Great Good Night." From the classic (rent it!) movie Little Big Man, "It was time to go down and look the devil in his eyes and tell him what he is."

[From the classic (rent it!) play King Lear:

"Bids the wind blow the earth into the sea,
Or swell the curled waters above the main,
That things might change or cease; tears his white hair,
Which the impetuous blasts, with eyeless rage,
Catch in their fury and make nothing of."]


I just sent Kerry an email demanding my $35.00 back. I think everyone should. What else does the flip-flopping wimp need the $15 million for?

[Snow board maintenance.]

These crooks have "won" because your leader
did not raise more than his pinky to fight against it. If THAT election was not worth fighting, I fail to see what would qualify. These crooks won easy because only a handful of good people put up a fight. With no media, minimal political support, and not a freaking single big-shot to move his/her ass. So, yeah, some frustration at these leaders seems perfectly warranted.

[I love the smell of boiling bile in the morning.]

I gave $250 to the DNC a week before the election, in addition to what I'd given earlier in the campaign. If I thought asking for its return would do any good, I would.

[If they do return it, then don’t forget to turn it back over to Bev Harris.]

I believe the only way to get real reform is to expose over and over and over the fraud that took place in this election, to the extent that the Republican electorate actually gets it and demand of their thug leaders that they reform the voting process nationwide. Without the unlikely prospect of Republican voters leaning on their Congressional leaders, NOTHING is going to happen. So how do you get Republican voters to lean? Shame them. Expose and expose and expose, probably by taking it massively to the streets, as happened during the Vietnam war.

[You’re going to look awful silly protesting in the streets without a scintilla of proof of “vote fraud.” The interesting thing is that we have been following the DUmmies here for months and yet despite all their crybabying about “vote fraud” they have presented exactly ZERO evidence that it actually occurred. Oh, I’m sorry. They did present this “proof” in support of their treatise: The Republicans committed “vote fraud” because, well, they just MUST have done it.]

DUmmie FUnnies 01-08-05 ("I'm Starting to Just Not Care Anymore")

DUmmie Demoralization is proceeding apace as you can see in this THREAD titled, “I'm Starting to Just Not Care Anymore - I'm Just All Cared Out.” This thread follows on the heels of DUmmie Doohickie giving up on his highly entertaining “I Believe” threads. The big difference between DUmmie Doohickie and the author of this thread, DUmmie MaryH, is that at least Doohickie left on a positive note while MaryH sounds completely demoralized. Also I think DUmmie MaryH is an AUTHENTIC DUmmie while I have my suspicions that Doohickie is really a Freeper Troll who took a bunch of DUmmies along for a ride on his “I Believe” threads. Let us now lead off with the lament of MaryH who sounds like she is just giving up on politics. As usual, the demoralized DUmmie lamentations are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your Tom Servo humble correspondent is in the [brackets]:

I'm Starting to Just Not Care Anymore - I'm Just All Cared Out

I have quit watching the News where I used to watch it all the time. I don't feel like anything I do will make any difference so why even try.

We have lost Congress

We have lost the Judiciary

We have lost the law

We have lost our right to religion.

And I posted how I felt here and promptly got checked out by the CIA or the FBI. Fortunately, I probably have the most boring record in history.

MaryH

[Unfortunately you also got checked out by the DUmmie FUnnies and are now a Web Laughingstock. BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!]

Add that we have lost our democracy to fascism.

[But our REPUBLIC seems to be doing just fine.]

Excuse me, but the Christian church is NOT involved in Charity. They are too busy with political activism, and justifying racial wars to gain mineral wealth. Also, they only recieved 2.2 Billion dollars of our tax money through "faith based iniatives" in 2004. There will be over 40 Billion available in 2005. All this money is without any accountablility. I feel that any donation to a Christian church today would only buy assult weapons for the KKK. I used to call myself a "Christian" but I refuse to do so any more. I will not be associated with those thugs any longer.

[Racial wars like in the Sudan. OOPS! Those are Muslims conducting the “racial wars.” Back to square one.]

There is no restriction on freedom of religion in the USA. Try a Muslim country if you want to see what restrictions on freedom of religion really look like. Hyperbole does our side no good.

[LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!! Whenever a DUmmie post makes sense, I know it is from a LOUSY FREEPER TROLL.]

There is no state religion in the United States. There may be a large cultural compenent of Americans that is Evangelical, but thatis not a state religion.

[That’s the second post that makes sense from DUmmie forgethell. I therefore accuse Dummie forgethell of being a LOUSY FREEPER TROLL.]

The Jesusistas have imposed Christianity as the state religion.

[Didn’t the Jesusistas play the Juaristas in a big baseball game? Or did they play the Zapatistas?]

There is NO state religion in the USA. None, nada, zilch. State religion implies the government. Now I will admit that the majority of AMericans are Christians. But So what?? When your tax dollars are paying the salaries of preachers, then you can say you have a state religion.

[HELLO! HELLO! Calling the DUmmie Moderator! Please expel forgethell from DUmmieland for making 3 posts in a row that actually make sense!]

40 BILLION of our taxpayer (and not just christian) dollars is available to Christian Groups in 2005. and yes, this money is paying the saleries of preachers.

[40 BILLION bucks just for signing up with the “Jesusita” team? Nice chunk of change!]

Once upon a time, the Republican Party promised you a chicken in every pot and a car in every garage. Now they promise preachers Beef Wellington on their dinner plates, BMWs in their garages and unlimited amounts in preachers Swiss Bank accounts.

[Who knew that Rev. Lovejoy drives a BMW and has unlimited funds in a Swiss Bank account?]

Most of us did everything in our power to stop this American tsunami, and lost only because the people in power are dishonest criminals who set up a rigged game.

[Strange how they are only rigged when you LOSE elections.]

We've had dishonest govts. before this one - in fact they are all probably pretty dishonest. But at least we had our Constitution and now I feel like that piece of paper is meaningless.

[This sudden DUmmie concern for the Constitution is quite touching. Especially after all the DUmmie effort to toss out certain sections such as the Second Amendment.]

Soo much effort was put into that last f*cked up campaign. Bush ads were aired during the most popular shows and sporting events. Kerry ads were aired on the F*CKING GAME SHOW CHANNEL. I still cannot believe that to this day. Let me say it one more time. THE F*CKING GAME SHOW CHANNEL. The bush republithugs have attacked every worthwhile democratic institution without any meaningful response. What few voices were out there were deafened by the cheers of church people.

[It’s all Karl Rove’s fault that Kerry was suckered into placing his campaign ads on the Game Show Channel!]

My wife doesn't know how scared I am, even though I've told her that things are going to be very different in just a few months from now.

[They’re coming to take you away! Hee! Hee! They’re coming to take you away! Ha! Ha!]

Does anyone here know how to do spells? That might be kind of fun to watch. Bush's nose growing with every lie. Or how about one where they all have to tell the truth when they open their mouths? That would be fun

[DUmmie MaryH is growing so desperate that she now wants to learn how to practice Witchcraft. Somebody please help this poor soul out. Perhaps we can teach her Santeria as well.]

DUmmie FUnnies 01-07-05 (DUmmie Doohickie Gives Up On "I Believe")

I’ve given Li’l Beaver the day off since I want to feature the poster girl of DUmmie Despair in this edition of the DUmmie FUnnies. The gloom in DUmmieland has even reached the eternally optimistic DUmmie Doohickie who is now walking away from his “I Believe” threads as the harsh events of yesterday splashing against his face has caused even him to briefly wake up to reality. Too bad. I was sort of counting on reading his “I Believe” threads right up to Inauguration Day. Let us now look at DUmmie Doohickie’s third “I Believe” THREAD which starts out on its typically overoptimistic note early Wednesday morning and ends rather ingloriously today. As usual the DUmmie fantasy projections are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, bidding adieu to DUmmie Doohickie, is in the [brackets]:

I BELIEVE

I believe Kerry will be inaugurated on Jan 20.

I am Doohickie, and I approve this message.

[Hee! Hee! Little does DUmmie Doohicke realize but he has only a little over a day left of “I Believe.” But let us know read the progression of his fall from belief.]

Right beside you! I believe! DU Believe? I DU Believe!

[I Believe that you are too DUmb not to believe…..until Thursday.]

I do still believe, and the closer we get to January 6th, the MORE I believe.

[Work hard on creating your own reality. Better work overtime on that.]

If the Red Sox can come back from 3 loses to win the ALCS, if they can break an 86 year curse, if the Sox can do it....why the hell not Kerry.... I believe

[At least you have presented a scientific argument rich with constitutional knowledge.]

I believe too!!! Clearly John Kerry is biding his time... And he will come out when the 1st Senator (Obama?) speaks out. Kerry always had integrity and he is clearly playing a wise waiting game. I think that when the trickle of officials finally get off their duffs and call a Rose a Rose and summarize and document the proof of the election Fraud, JK and JE will come out from the shadows to announce their (sad) duty to take the Presidency (and VP) that has been "thrust upon them by the electorate." I can almost hear his "more in sorrow than in anger" speech as he steps up to accept his rightful place as the duly elected President of The United States.

And I can FINALLY breathe freely, since I will AT LAST be able to breathe the air of a Free Country under its DULY AND FREELY ELECTED President. Of course, on Jan 6 (and then Jan 20), I will be able to enjoy the agony of those Rightist/self-Righteous SOBs who have been so arrogant since the election they tried to steal.

[I need to check my hearing. Somehow I just didn’t catch that historic “more in sorrow than in anger speech” yesterday as Kerry stepped up to accept his rightful place as the duly elected President of the United States.]

Sorry, but Bush won this one and nothing, ABSOLUTELY NOTHING, will alter that fact. There is no way whatsoever that Kerry will be inaugurated on January 20. Believing he will is setting yourself up for a major letdown.

[LOUSY FREEPER TROLL! How dare you rain on our feel-good “I Believe” parade?!!!]

Will you please stop peeing in my cornflakes??
Honestly, Walt - you've made it perfectly clear how you feel. Why do you feel the need to come into a thread which you obviously disagree with in order to make negative comments and attempt to stir up trouble? Why not start your own thread "I don't believe." See how many responses you get.

[Hmmm….. Now I know why my cornflakes have been tasting a mite salty lately.]

Why the huge effort to discourage, demoralize, and derail us on thread after thread? Is this his idea of working together for a common cause?

[I agree. DUmmie Walt Starr needs to learn to ignore reality like the rest of us.]

Sorry, B*sh stole this one too. Jim Crow voter disenfranchisement, precincts with over 95% voter turnout, disappearing and appearing votes, magically altered exit poll data, tens of thousands of voter complaints, partisan controlled voting equipment, voting machine techies confessions, and democratic office break-ins before election day can all be discounted because Saint B*sh stole it and will never give it back.

[And yet somehow absolute NONE of this “vote fraud” has been proven. It just shows how cleverly Karl Rove covered his tracks.]

the I believe thread is more important now than ever.

[In the same way the towel is to Linus.]

I believe

I believe that I am 100% certifiably sane, non-delusional, reasonably intelligent and informed.

I believe that what everyone here at DU is saying about the dysfunctional election process in America is rational, realistic, constructive and patriotic.

I believe that tough questions must be asked now, that our representatives must be held accountable now, that we must not accept these absurd and destructive abuses anymore.

I believe it is we who have a mandate now--to ensure free and fair elections in America.

I believe that the system must bend to accomodate a new demand for ethics, honesty, and responsibility in business and government.

I believe we are at the dawning of a new day.

[Since you posted this on Wednesday, I believe you are in for a big disappointment on the next day. Of course, this is only a wild guess on my part.]

I *B*E*L*I*E*V*E* TOO! I believe tomorrow is going to be verrrry interesting! I believe John Kerry knows exactly what is going to happen, and he needs to be elsewhere, because
I believe it's gonna get ugly.

[I believe that all is going according to Kerry’s crafty game plan.]

I BELIEVE!!!!!!!!!!!!! WOOHOOOOOO!!!!! Man, am I in a great mood today! Either the meds have kicked in or KERRY WON OHIO!!!!!!!

[Trust me. It’s the meds kicking in.]

I never have lost faith that Kerry would be inaugurated President 44. My doubt is as to the date. I'd love for it to be January 20 when the town is decked out in regalia for the shrub but have a feeling that it will be February 21. For this reason, I haven't bought my plane ticket yet.

[Don’t spend that money too quickly.]

I'm FINALLY beginning to feel optimistic again!
As Mr. Pitt pointed out, We are as many as are the stars in the sky and the grains of sand on the beach-I believe that we've been heard!!

[I believe you will be following Pied Piper Pitt over the cliff.]

I BELIEVE. Today will be a great day in this nation's history. I am so blessed to be able to spend it with all of you believers

[Ah! So it’s Thursday now. The day Kerry will be officially recognized as the victor. I BEEEEELEEEEEEVE!!!]

WE DID THIS, everybody. WE MADE THIS HAPPEN! I believe in Barbara Boxer! I believe in John Kerry! I believe in democracy! I believe in DU!

[So it’s a done deal? President Kerry? I BEEEEELEEEEVE!!!]

yep we did! it we did it! I believe

[WOO! HOO! I BEEEEELEEEEEVE!!!

I believe... this thread is done.

[Huh? It’s 3:41 PM Thursday. You mean to say that Kerry isn’t going to be our President? How could that be?]

I still believe. I just got out of work and haven't heard any news. I see a lot of good posts by people I respect, so it must have been a good day.

[YES! Kerry has been officially declared the victor! WOO! HOO! But a piece of advice---DON’T watch the news.]

Does anyone still belive this?

[Of course. I BELIEVE! I BELIEVE! I BELIEVE! But now let us hear the originator of the “I Believe” threads, DUmmie Doohickie. He will set us straight with an uplifting speech. Take it away, Doohickie!!!]

I BELIEVE

...that the election is over. I held out hope as long as I could. I appreciate the faith in and support of Senator Kerry in this thread, but I can no longer say I believe that he will be inaugurated on Jan. 20.

Congratulations on the perseverance you've all demonstrated, but apparently Senator Kerry's concession speech was the real deal.

I've enjoyed these threads, but it is now time to move on to dealing with a second term of W. I urge you all to shine as Americans, and try not to think about partisan politics, but rather think of what you can do to make America great, then go out and do it.

I've debated as to whether I should just slink away from this thread or to make my own little concession speech, and decided to go with the latter. Again, thanks for supporting the cause of the Democratic Party, and Senator Kerry's candidacy. Use that fervor and passion discovered during the recent campaign to make a difference- in your community and in your country.

I think Senator Kerry will continue to work behind the scenes to uncover any injustice that occurred on Election Day, and will also do his best to serve his constituents and the nation at large. In that sense, he still has our back.

Until next time, this is Doohickie, signing off. Adios.

[Alas poor Doohickie, I knew him well.]

DUmmie FUnnies 01-06-05 ("SO DEPRESSED.")

Today’s NON-event in Congress has caused MASS demoralization in DUmmieland. Instead of some congressional uprising against the Ohio vote, there was a massive YAWN in both congress and in the media. All the handful of congressional loonies and Barbara Boxer accomplished was to put up a minor speedbump on the road to the inevitable result of Bush’s official notification of victory. No protests, little media coverage, and even less public interest. In fact, the vast majority of the public are completely unaware of the minor speedbump thrown up today. And the few who are aware of it, now look upon the Democrats as even more the marginalized lunatics than in the past. The overall effect of today’s congressional speedbump that signified nothing was wide demoralization in DUmmieland. There were many rich targets of opportunity for today’s edition of the DUFU’s but I chose this DUmmie THREAD titled, “Tell me why I should keep fighting. SO DEPRESSED,” as the most representative. We lead off with the loud lamentations of DUmmie Paligal. So sit back and enjoy the hilarious spectacle of DUmmie demoralization. As usual, the depressed DUmmie comments are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, holding packets of Prozac for his Pet Ants, is in the [brackets]:

Tell me why I should keep fighting. SO DEPRESSED. Not that we here on DU didn't already know this, but having watched this evolve since election day, and seeing it culminate in this "just for show" debate which is covered NOWHERE in the mainstream media and will be ignored and dismissed after it takes place, I am so depressed about the system. What's the F'ing point of us all putting our heart and energy into fighting this? There is a complete control of power here, and we have none of it. I watch these guys, one after the other, say "sour grapes", "move on", "wild-eyed conspiracy theorists", and know that we won't get taken seriously. Our government has experienced a coup, and nobody cares but us in the minority, and they will not relenquish power. There will be no changes. There will be no reform. I feel it. These a**holes speaking now on the republican side invoke terrorism and "attacking the noble Americans who volunteered to work on this election". They make it seem like we are attacking Americans and encouraging terrorists, and as long as people continue to respond like sheep to these keywords, and our Democratic representatives don't retort with specifics to dismiss that those are the issues we are debating, we stand no chance. I can't watch it. I can't after today. My blood pressure will go through the roof.

[<>AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!< /Max Cady Laugh>]

Do any of you still believe we have the power to change this corrupt government? Tell me, why should I keep actively fighting? I am only getting enraged and depressed over the response to all our efforts. At this moment, I hear some b*tch state "The American people must be shaking their heads at this debate" and "these allegations are without merit". They keep repeating over and over that Bush won by 3 million votes, and that's why 100,000 don't matter. NOBODY questions whether Bush's margin is even true. They say that Bush couldn't have pulled off a massive fraud, as though we were claiming that the man himself was solely responsible, rather than a whole network of people, and probably without his involvement. I want to reach through the TV and smack these people. So, I will remove myself for at least a while after today. I can't take it. It's too personally upsetting. How do you all feel, as my only sense of community on this issue?

[<>AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!< /Max Cady Laugh>]


T.S. Eliot best expresses my feelings: "This is how the world ends; not with a bang, but with a whimper"

[Now that you’ve done more than your share of whimpering, DUmmie Paligal, let us read what the rest of the DUmmies have to say.]

Hee hee hee. These posts crack me up!

[You bet! They are a laugh riot!!!]

Her sadness cracks you up? shame.

[Sniff! I feel terribly castigated…… AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!]

Good to know you can laugh at our pain.

[Happy to oblige……. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!]

This is far more important than Bush v. Kerry. It's about the legitimacy of our democracy. And this debate in the congress is historic. What we need to do is to translate it into election reform. Don't be depressed. Channel your frustration into action.

[As historic as a barely suppressed yawn on the Capitol steps.]

Keep in mind that the policies of the current regime have led to thousands of unnecessary deaths. As tax payers who fund the current regime, we have a lot of blood on our hands whether we like it or not. But if we don't like it, we should do what we can to put a stop to it. There are a lot of people outside of the US that are being hurt by US foreign policy, but because they are so far away, it's hard for them to do much about it. However, we are right here inside this country and in a position to bring about change. We have a great responsibility to the rest of the world.

[Forget about the 9-11 terrorists and their allies. It is the USA who is the font of EVIL in the world. Thank you for so clearly stating the DUmmie talking points.]

I definitely did not get what I wanted today and I am mad as hell about having been victimized by the theft of an election we WON

[Keep believing that. It will keep your bile riled.]

this is ridiculous. its posts like this that make me infuriated with the state of our party today. A coup? massive fraud? You blame Bush for this "massive fraud" and then say how it would have taken an incredible number of people to conglomerate such a fraud, and yet there is not one shread of evidence supporting such claims. If so many people are involved, dont you think it'd be easier to find a slip up?

[LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!! Take your sickening sense of reality and get the HELL OFF this progressive forum!]

It would have taken a few hand-fulls of people here and a few hand-fulls of people there to accomplish the thefts of millions and millions of votes. They had means, motive, and opportunity. Sorry we don't have the smoking cannon we need yet -- but it is out there. Just my humble opinion. Being angry at those of us who believe this just contributes to the dirty work that the Republican party wants done. In psychology theory the role you are playing is called "minder" -- the person who makes sure that everyone sticks together and says all of the "right" things. Herding Democrats is like herding cats - generally, it can't be done. In many Republican locations there were more votes than voters. In many Democratic locations there were fewer votes than voters. That suggests fraud at some level and fraud should be investigated and people responsible punished. Maybe we can start from this common ground?

[Ahhhhh! Thank you for bringing back that reassuring sense of unreality.]

I have to agree with you . . . this was a sham . . almost none of these senators or congresspersons had their hearts in this . . . when the vote came in the Senate, only two voted for the resolution . . . with all the letters and e-mails and faxes and phone calls, the best we could do was get a pro forma objection to the Ohio electors . . . when what should have happened is the entire party standing up and saying this election was stolen . . .truth be told, both parties are playing for the same corporate team . . . until we take corporate money out of politics, we'll never see any true reform . . . what we saw today was the best we could do, and that's a sad, sad commentary on things . . .

[Allow me to merrily tap dance on the tabletop of your misery.]

We have no choice. We either fight or die like sheep. Fascists are ruthless and merciless. They don't care about the Geneva Convention and they approve of torture. They control all three branches of this government. They will continue the war in Iraq, they will not reform the privatized election process any more than they will reform Halliburton's no-bid contracts. They will continue to dismantle social programs while expanding corporate welfare. Both unemployment and the deficit will continue to grow. They will continue to stack the courts with wingnuts to feed their immensely profitable prison industry. The object of fascism is to enrich the few while reducing everyone else to slave labor, and they revel in the deaths of millions of innocents. They are war profiteers and human rights violators. This was the very last "victory" the Democrats will have in Congress. Even though it was voted down, it did get discussed. From now on it is unlikely that anything introduced by a Democrat will make it out of committee. We can ignore fascism only so long as it is other people who are dying, but when our turn comes we will not be able to ignore it. The question is not why we should keep fighting, but whether we have the ability to fight at all. Our votes don't count. The votes of our elected representatives don't count. Anybody who isn't depressed, is either profiting from fascism, or has their head in the sand.

[Who’s your speechwriter? Osama bin Trotsky?]

It feels like we are locked up in a jail in the deep south, and the sherriff owns the town and everyone is crooked. It is like an insane dream. The only thing that I think I want to focus on is trying to find the proof that fraud was committed and the hope that it will come out eventually. I think the realization that the dems wouldn't stand up and scream for the rights of the disenfranchised makes me the maddest.

[Keep looking. I heard that the proof of fraud can be found right next to that pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.]

DUmmies FUnnies 01-06-05 (DUmmies Turn On Kerry For "Betrayal")

John Kerry, while visiting the troops in Iraq, stated yesterday that he would NOT be joining Congressional Democrats in any protest of the Ohio election results today. Actually, how could he since he is in Iraq. The DUmmies should have known this but are now acting surprised at this Kerry statement. Of course, much DUmmie wrath is now directed against Kerry as we can see in this THREAD titled, “NYT: Election Results to Be Certified, With Little Fuss From Kerry.” So now if Barbara Boxer or any other Senate Democrat joins with the handful Congressional loonies in protesting the results, it will be done WITHOUT the support of Kerry. The only result of any senator protesting the results will be to make himself or herself further marginalized. Of course, this doesn’t bother the DUmmies. They are just ENRAGED at this “betrayal” by Kerry. Let us commence with the New York Times story about Kerry’s comment followed by the ANGRY DUmmie reaction in Bolshevik Red. The commentary of your humble correspondent is in the [brackets]:

WASHINGTON, Jan. 5 - The day before a joint session of Congress to certify the results of the 2004 presidential election, Senator John Kerry said Wednesday that he would not participate in a possible protest by Democrats who are challenging President Bush's victory in Ohio.

"While I am deeply concerned about the issues being highlighted by my colleagues in Congress and citizens across the country and support their efforts to highlight the need to ensure voting rights," Mr. Kerry said in a statement, "I will not be joining their protest of the Ohio electors."

Senator Kerry, who is traveling in the Middle East, does not plan to be in Washington on Thursday for the formal tally of the Electoral College results, the official constitutional ending to the 2004 presidential race.

[Put on your asbestos suits! Prepare for the heat blast from the mighty DUmmie flames!]

I supported Kerry, gave more than any other election but feel betrayed that he quickly threw in the towel after giving all the speeches about making sure every vote was counted. Never again will I go along with the spineless democrats that only follow the right wing corporate controlled media.

[Scorching! Simply scorching!]

How could anyone still be a Kerry fan? Really...what a wimp! And you are right Mike, people did invest A LOT in him that he won't invest back in the people by supporting the voting reform..I can't believe I voted for this loser. Never again will I support this party, they are capitalist pigs also and getting worse every year!

[Your Socialist Workers Party card is in the mail.]

I feel like either he's been bought or threatened or he's planning to run again in 08. Wow. If he thinks dems will forgive this, he's delusional.

[As delusional as DUmmie “I Believe” Doohickie?]

Or he is the coward his critics said he was. Perhaps it was true that Kerry turned his swift boat away from the line of fire, until he realized there was no ambush and turned around.

[So maybe the Swift Boat Veterans for Truth were…..RIGHT???]

I have to agree that Kerry has to be certifiably insane if he thinks that he'll be supported again.

[If Kerry is certifiably insane wouldn’t that make him at least an honorary DUmmie?]

How this for a slogan..."F*ck Kerry in '08!"

[Catchy. I like it!]

Anyone who knows me on this board knows that I was a diehard and committed Kerry supporter - took the Pachababies on the road to 3 swing states for him - donated maximum amount to him and $10K to the DNC - raised money for the GELAC fund (over $30K). I stood on the night before election 15 ft behind the stage in Cleveland, Ohio after listening to Bruce Springsteen dedicate "No Surrender" and Kerry speak about how they were going to fight....If this is his "fight" then, I guess I was really wrong....there I said it...and I thought I was going to have to wait till tommorrow to see if he had some backbone....I'm sick to my stomach right now....

[Look at the bright side---You got to see a FREE Springsteen concert.]

If you know my posts, you know I'm a loyal Kerry supporter...I just don't even know what to say right now...I also go with my intuition and I will say that for the first time ever, my feelings of Kerry were negative...Unless someone can point out how this is some "brilliant" strategy, I don't see this as a sign of his "worthiness" at all...

[It IS a brilliant strategy. Everything is happening as was planned over a year ago by the Kerry team. Don’t worry. The pieces will fall into place resulting in the Kerry inauguration on Jan. 20. If you have any doubt, just go to one of DUmmie Doohickie’s “I Believe” threads for encouragement.]

I hung on to the "brilliant strategy" hope for as long as I could also.

[Did you also send a big wad of cash to Bev Harris? Do you also believe in the Great Pumpkin? Just curious.]

John Kerry is now old news, as far as I'm concerned. I will never put my trust in him again. I can't even imagine how the minorities who had their right to vote STOLEN feel about this. They not only are not going to trust Kerry, they are freaking not going to trust the whole Democratic Party unless enough other Democrats work hard enough to turn this around and expose the fraud and impeach the jerk violating the White House. I'm from Massachusetts, and that means I'm going to continue seeing Kerry's face a lot whatever. That prospect makes me even sicker.

[Seeing Kerry’s face would make me sick too. Frankly, I think Seabiscuit is a lot cuter.]

I seriously feel I/we were duped....I am absolutely stunned right now....Don't even get me started on the GELAC fund...I gave serious cash and threw "Party's" to raise lots of money....and for what? All I ever heard about were "we have 10's of thousands of lawyers on call" "Jet planes fueled and ready to go" "No surrender" "We are expecting problems, in particular in Ohio and we are ready" etc. etc. And what do we get? A guy who in less than 24 hours "concedes"....then this? I'm so upset right now, I can't stand it....Even though I believe he won, if he isn't going to stand up and fight for us and the Presidency, then he never deserved it and never will....I am so mad right now I can't stand it...

[Don’t despair. Dr. Buddy Rydell is on the way right now to make a house call to help you in your Anger Management program.]

What a piece of shit he is. A publicity hound - as if he's a leader now in the senate. I unsubscribed from his e mails. And I agreee, it was a vote against the fascists, not for him, and I also worked my ass off and donated more than I ever have....Notice Edwards doesn't have a thing to do with him. I think he took Edwards in too, that Edwards believed he was going to fight and then sent Edwards out to the public to tell that he wasn't going to. I wouldn't support the democratic party for anything anymore. We need a new viable party.

[Psst! Socialist Workers Party. And their band plays a really great rendition of The Internationale.]

He's not a wimp. He is a member of the power structure. He did not and will not do anything to threaten his position.
He IS wealth and is married to wealth. That puts him in the power elite. Do you think he will do anything to go against his fellow power brokers? He did not during the campaign and will not now. We cannot depend on *any* of the leaders of the democratic party. It is DEAD as far as I'm concerned. It cares nothing about us, the working people of the country, or the world. We need entirely new leadership from the grassroots up. I think we will not get it from the party as presently constituted. In my experience, even the democratic executive committees are part of the power structure. The party might as well merge with the republicans. It would be more honest and give us a chance to form a new true democratic party.

[Arise ye workers from your slumbers

Arise ye prisoners of want

For reason in revolt now thunders

And at last ends the age of cant.

Away with all your superstitions

Servile masses arise, arise

We'll change henceforth the old tradition

And spurn the dust to win the prize.]

The democratic party is no longer my party; Iwill join the Green party and will hope that that a lot of us will make the leap out of the democratic party to the Green. Yes lets start to build our own party with the Green party.

[The Greens aka the Watermelon Pary. Green on the outside but Red inside.]

I watched Kerry speak many times. I was always baffled as to how he never talked to people.

[The peasants are revolting! They STINK on ice!]

DUmmie FUnnies 01-05-05 (Emperor Palpatine Threatens to Arrest DUmmie)

NEVER harass Emperor Palpatine. That is something that DUmmie Andy Stephenson (aka God_bush_n_cheney) should have known when be entered an elevator and started bugging Senator Frank Lautenberg (NJ) about “vote fraud.” In case the name of Andy Stephenson rings a bell, he was unceremoniously fired recently by con artist, Bev Harris. Now Stephenson is apparently acting as an independent agent. Too bad he bothered the LEAST FRIENDLY Senator of them all. I don’t know how Frank “Emperor Palpatine” Lautenberg became a senator but it certainly wasn’t due to his charm which is non-existent nor his looks which are truly frightening. You can read about this HILARIOUS elevator encounter in this DUmmie THREAD titled, “Senator Lautenberg threatens to arrest Andy Stephenson.” Let us now begin with an account of the elevator encounter posted by Andy’s DUmmie friend, straw_citizen. The DUmmie comments are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, watching the scene from the Death Star, is in the [brackets]:

“To the people of NJ from Andy Stephenson.

I just spoke with Frank Lautenberg in the elevator. I first asked Senator Lautenberg if he had a few minutes to talk to me. He said yes. I began to talk to him about the voting issues I found in Florida and Ohio. He couldn’t get out of the elevator quick enough.

Being the tenacious person I am, I followed him out and asked, “Senator won’t you please look at the evidence? Won’t you please stand with Mr. Conyers? Won’t you please stand for the American People?”

Mr. Lautenberg said, ”I don’t want to hear this.”

I said, “Mr. Lautenberg, I have seen the evidence, I’ve seen it with my own eyes. I discovered it.

To which he replied, “If you don’t leave me alone and stop harassing me, I will have you arrested.”

I said to Mr. Lautenberg, “If you stand with Mr. Conyers, you will be a hero.”

Senator Lautenberg said, “I am a hero. I was in World War II.”

I replied, “You won’t be in the eyes of the American people if you don’t stand up with Mr. Conyers tomorrow.”

Catherine for Andy Stephenson

["Use your aggressive feelings, boy. Let the hate flow through you.”]

You know you've arrived when you've been threatened with arrest by a Senator.

[And by the Emperor Palpatine.]

Is this the Andy who was auditing Warren County?

[Also the Andy who was zapped by Bev Harris after slaving as her flunky.]

He doesn't want to even HEAR it??? Unreal!!

[Ordinary mortals are not to directly address the Emperor Palpatine.]

Andy You Are The MAN! and Lautenburg?
you are NO f*cking hero. You are a coward and an asshole! These Democrats avoiding this issue are shooting themselves in the face!

[“The hate is swelling in you now. Take your Jedi weapon. Use it. I am unarmed. Strike me down with it. Give in to your anger! With each passing moment you make yourself more my servant.”]

that's weird, I just heard that Lautenberg would be standing up with and signing on with Conyers. Lautenberg is the Senator who brought a poster with a picture of a Chickenhawk and it's definition to the Senate floor. Doens't seem like the same guy who would run from Andy.

[“Oh no, my young Jedi. You will find that is is you who are mistaken, about a great many things.”]

But we should make a big deal of this I think its ridiculous that a senator threatens to arrest a citizen for a request like this - are there no progressive local newspapers who will report this?

[Have no fear. The DUmmie FUnnies is reporting to the entire galaxy the aggression of the Emperor Palpatine.]

This is a legitimate thread and everything is true.

I had my friend, straw_citizen post this for me here and elsewhere because I have no access to a computer today.

Please call Lautenberg's office and voice your displeasure. I'm at a Kinko's paying by the hour so I'll check in tomorrow or later this evening when I can get to a computer.

Andy

[Kinko’s? Interesting. Is this Kinko’s in Texas and do you happen to know a Lucy Gonzalez (or was it Ramirez)?]

wow, there's another thread about freepers having called the Senators offices today and been extremely well 'freeperlike', that is to say stupid, rude, and offensive. Perhaps they got to Frank and then one more person talking to him got the bad reaction. He is usually a stand-up guy. See poster above that he brought to the Senate floor. I am shocked and sad. I was just about to send a fax to him. I thought he was one of our best shots. So sorry you were treated that way Andy. Sorry for doubting your friend's original post.

[So you are blaming the Emperor Palpatine’s aggressive attitude on Freepers? Ever consider that he might have had that sour disposition since birth?]

NEWSFLASH!! Heroes don't refer to themselves as "Heroes!" "I am a hero. I was in WW11." What the hell does that have to do with election fraud? What a puss!

[“Your work here is finished, my friend. Go out to the command ship and await my orders.”]

DUmmie FUnnies 01-05-05 ("Stand Up, Senator"---Pied Piper Pitt Bloviates)

William Rivers Pitt aka Pied Piper Pitt has been laying low since his Gandalf the Wizard speech following on the heels of his misprediction that SOMETHING WUUUUNDERFUL would happen in Ohio as a result of Kerry lending out his signature to be filed on some insignificant legal filing. However, after a brief respite, Pied Piper Pitt is back and bloviating louder than ever with his call for action by U.S. Senators tomorrow when the electoral votes are officially counted. As even Pitt admits in his DUmmie THREAD titled, “Stand Up, Senator,” such an action will have NO EFFECT on the fact that Bush will be inaugurated on Jan. 20 (Sorry DUmmie Doohickie). Pied Piper Pitt desires such an action by a senator to make himself a national laughingstock because it will “move us closer to that more perfect union.” Notice how Pied Piper Pitt is asking a senator out their to sacrifice his or her political career yet Pitt never showed up at the Kerry townhouse vigil even though he also lives in Boston. What’s the matter, Pitt, afraid of losing that all-important Middle School job you have? Anyway, the Pitt bloviations followed by the DUmmie comments are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, who is sitting down, is in the [brackets]:

“Hope is not the conviction that something will turn out well, but the certainty that something makes sense regardless of how it turns out.”- Vaclav Havel

[Nice touch there, Pitt. After being ridiculed for your Gandalf the Wizard speech, you now shift to an actual human being with whom to subtly associate yourself by quoting Havel. Now continue with your proclamation, Pitt…]

Four years ago, members of the Congressional Black Caucus ran deliberately and vociferously into a brick wall when they chose to stand and protest the deplorable election calamity in Florida. They sought the name of one Senator, just one, which they could append to their complaints. Had they gotten that one name, a debate and discussion on what happened in Florida would have taken place in the House and the Senate. No Senator came forward, and the debate never happened.

[Because Al Gore asked the senators not to make fools of themselves. He wanted to corner that “Fools” market for himself in the years to come. Continue…]

Now, four years later, another election has come and gone. Now, four years later, there are rafts of evidence which point, once again, to overwhelming disenfranchisement of minority voters. Now, four years later, members of the Congressional Black Caucus, along with several other House members, plan to stand once again and protest an election that failed to live up to the standards required of participatory democracy. Now, four years later, they seek a Senator to stand with them.

[Could you type, “Now, four years later,” again, Pitt? I’m beginning to catch on to its rhythm. But don’t let me stop you. Continue with the Pitt Proclamation…]

This time, a Senator must answer the call.

[A call to turn himself or herself into a national laughingstock. Funny, Pitt, I don’t recall you answering “the call” to hold a vigil in front of Kerry’s Boston townhouse. If I recall it was school vacation so you didn’t even have to take off from your precious Boston Middle School job. Another case of “Do as I say, not as I do,” from Pied Piper Pitt. Continue with your flutings…]

Four years ago, standing up was politically dangerous. The country had just endured a month of mayhem and charges and countercharges and overheated rhetoric. The Supreme Court had ruled, a judicial version of the loud voice from Mount Ararat that cannot be contravened. The tablets had been handed down.

[The first set of tablets from Mount Ararat must have crashed down on top of your head, Pitt. But speak to us some more from the mountaintop…]

The mainstream news media had launched into the soothing refrain, “This is an orderly transition of power…this is an orderly transition of power,” and a Senator standing up in Congress to swat the hornet’s nest again would have, bluntly, gotten their butt kicked up between their shoulderblades. Recall the line from the film ‘The Right Stuff’: “It takes a special kind of man to volunteer for a suicide mission, especially one that’s on TV.” Four years ago, no one was feeling special enough to volunteer. Do not forget, as well, that candidate Gore asked his Senate colleagues not to join the CBC, so that they all might “heal the country.

[Moving from Lord of the Rings to The Right Stuff? Interesting. To us at the DUmmie FUnnies it appears that all your laughable rantings are more suited to It’s a Mad Mad Mad World. Continue with your madness…]

The politics this time around are comparably dicey. Mainstream media coverage of election irregularities in Ohio and elsewhere has been meager at best. What coverage there has been has managed to be simultaneously disparaging and uninformed. Take, for example, the editorial from the Cleveland Plain-Dealer directed today at Rep. Tubbs-Jones and Rev. Jesse Jackson: “(Kerry) had the good grace and sense to acknowledge the abundantly obvious, go home and resume his life. You might consider emulating his excellent example, because what you are doing now - redoubling your effort in the face of a settled outcome - will only drive you further toward the political fringe. And that long grass already is tickling your knees.”

[I wish the Cleveland Plain-Dealer kept mum on this advice. I like to see the DUmmies go even further toward the political fringe, led of course by Pied Piper Pitt. And that long grass already is tickling your brain. Continue…]

A Senator who stands with Conyers and the CBC risks marginalization. A Senator who stands with Conyers risks blowing their credibility to smithereens on the eve of a fight over Bush’s wacky judicial nominations, and on the eve of a fight over the very existence of the minority’s ability to filibuster. A Senator who stands with Conyers and the CBC risks being targeted for defeat by an increasingly effective GOP machine.

[A Senator who stands with Conyers risks becoming a punchline to a lot of comedy jokes. Continue with your comedy routine…]

The difference this time around, however, cannot be overstated, and is the reason why a Senator must step forward. Four years ago, the argument was about replacing Bush with Gore. This time, despite the earnest desires of millions of people, such an option is not on the table. The process itself, barring another edict from Ararat, precludes the notion that someone besides Bush will take the oath on January 20th. If Conyers and company stand and object with the support of a Senator, the Electoral College hearing will adjourn, and both the House and Senate will hear two hours of testimony on the reasons behind the objection. After the testimony, the House and Senate will have a straight up-or-down vote on whether to entertain the objection. Given the GOP dominance in both chambers, the outcome of such a vote is preordained.

[And yet you ask a senator to sacrifice his or her political career for a cause that will have NO EFFECT on the election results. I notice that you aren’t willing to sacrifice YOUR Boston Middle School career, Pitt. I bask in the glory of your reflected bravery. Continue…]

Even if, by some miracle, both chambers vote to uphold the objections based on the merits of the testimony, and Ohio’s 20 votes are removed from the Electoral College count, the waters beyond are muddy. The constitution is vague as to whether the 270 Electoral College threshold is an absolute, or whether the candidate with the most Electoral College votes is to be declared the winner, regardless of whether or not that 270-vote line is crossed. Bush would still lead Kerry 266 to 252 if Ohio were subtracted, and in all likelihood, would carry the day with that lead.

[But, but won’t that signature that Kerry allowed on some obscure legal filing in Ohio save the day, Pitt? That is what you promised us. Anyway, you’re on a roll now so please continue…]

The difference this time politically for any Senator who stands up is that this fight is not about and must not be about replacing Bush with Kerry. This is about making sure that the greatest democracy in the history of the world lives up to that title. Rev. Jesse Jackson put it best when he said, “If America is to be a champion of democracy abroad, it must clean up its elections at home. If it is to complain of fraudulent and dishonest election practices abroad, it cannot condone them at home. But more important, if our own elections are to be legitimate, then they must be honest, open, with high national standards.”

[Rev. Jesse Jackson. Now there is an expert on things fraudulent. Continue with the laughs…]

A Senator must stand up with Conyers and open the door to testimony on this election in both chambers of Congress. A Senator must stand up so a national dialogue on how we run elections is created and carried forward. That dialogue must include:

* The fact that Ohio Secretary of State Blackwell engineered a series of outlandish maneuvers designed to deny citizens the ability to vote before and during the election, including junking vast numbers of new voter applications because they were not on postcard-weight paper, by making sure that heavily Democratic and minority voting districts did not have enough voting machines to accommodate the number of voters who came out, and by revoking access to public records of the election to citizens attempting to lawfully audit the poll books;

* The fact that Warren County election officials shuttered the public counting of votes based upon their claim that the FBI warned that terrorists were coming to attack them. No FBI agent anywhere on the planet has acknowledged issuing this warning, and the ballots in Warren County were subsequently left unguarded and unprotected;

* The fact that a county in Ohio shows more votes than registered voters; the fact that another Ohio county shows an underfunded Democratic State Supreme Court candidate getting more votes than an incredibly-funded Democratic presidential candidate; the fact that one machine alone in one county gave Bush 3,893 more votes than he actually got; the fact that another county registered an unheard-of 98% turnout rate, and that county subsequently handed Bush 19,000 extra votes; the fact that in another county, at least 25 voting machines transferred an unknown number of Kerry votes to Bush.

[* The fact that Bush won in Ohio by a margin of over 100,000 votes which was confirmed by all subsequent counting of the provisional ballots and the revotes.]

Protecting the right to vote is not and must not be a partisan issue in this country. The fact that candidates of both parties too often acquiesce to the so-called Nixon Rule on elections – a tacit agreement not to argue the outcome of questionable elections, which came about after the riddled-with-inconsistencies 1960 presidential race – means that people who do violate the public trust by violating the sanctity of the ballot are safe from censure, especially if their actions lead to a victory.

[Not a partisan issue? Then I can assume you will investigate vote fraud in the Washington state gubernatorial race? Continue…]

In a perfect world, all 100 Senators would stand up because of one simple fact: They are where they are because of the vote, and if they do not protect that vote, it may be them looking at the short end of the stick come some future election day. All 100 should stand, but it only takes one. It only takes one to move us closer to that more perfect union, where every vote counts and every vote is counted, where the citizenry can trust that the people leading them were properly chosen, where partisans acting in the dark of night to thwart that simple, admirable goal are exposed and purged from our system.

[In a DUmmie World, all 100 Senators would stand up. Yeah, I can just picture Mel Martinez or Saxby Chambliss standing up with you DUmmies. Perhaps in your alternate reality they would but in the real world, your pipe fluting tends to fall on deaf ears. Okay, I’ll let you finish off your overlong diatribe...]

Stand up, Senator. Stand up.

[Sit down, Pitt. Sit down. And now on to the other DUmmie rantings following on the heels of Pied Piper Pitt’s flute symphony.]

So this IS a nail biter

[Gee! Will Bush be inaugurated on the 20th or not? This is such a nail biter!]

Are you sending this to all senators or just posting it on your blog?

[It will be posted as a submission to an online comedy contest. It is sure to be a winner.]

If people want to send it to their Senators, I won't stop them.

[Thanx for that info, Pitt. Since you didn’t even bother to show up at the Kerry townhouse vigil just a few blocks from you in Boston, how can we ever expect you to take the time to e-mail your latest bloviation to the senators. All that work would wear your keyboard fingers down. Better to let other do the hard work.]

Oooohhh! I got chills! Well done Will!

[A little digression here but does anybody remember the actor, Chill Wills? Not sure why I am suddenly thinking of him.]

nice piece . . . but all for naught, I fear . . .won't be any senators standing up . . . because Kerry doesn't want them to . . . simple as that . . .

[Actually I am holding out hope for one senator to “stand up” and provide us with some laughs. Tom Harkin. He has no political future and is a flat out nutcase. I say Harkin just might “stand up” and prove himself to be a DUmmie.]

You ARE the Dude of the Year to us too Will!

[You are so WUUUNDERFUL, Will! Play your Pied Piper flute tune again so we DUmmie lemmings can follow you off the political cliff again just like we did with that Kerry signature in Ohio thing you hyped (and now want to forget).]

What if there is proof that Kerry actually won Ohio
then he should get the electorial votes. Then he wins.

[And the proof exists in Never Never Land underneath the pure precious tulip petal that Tinkerbell is sitting on.]

Will...Just one question, please? If all the above information is factual as you say, where is Senator Kerry? After all, who's got more to lose than him? He's worked for this all his life. Are you of the opinion that he doesn't know as much as you, or did he throw the election? I don't see how there could be another choice.

[Good question. Kerry is OUT of the country on Jan. 6. And you are correct. Kerry doesn’t know as much as Pied Piper Pitt. That is why he has selected Pitt to be his floor manager when the electoral votes are counted…but only in the DUmmie Zone.]

Good job, Will Pitt. I spent all day on the phone calling our Senators. Hopefully, we will see them stand...

[And I can just picture the Senate office workers cupping the phone receivers and whispering loudly to their bemused co-workers, “It’s another one of those DUmmie nutjobs again!”]

One suggestion: "rafts of evidence" - maybe "reams" would be better? Just a thought. Otherwise, fine piece.

[Just a thought. Why does the word “reams” appeal to you so much?]

Oh Will...that was excellent...You said so well what I also feel in my own mind and heart about this issue. I just read your draft aloud to my husband and we both had tears in our eyes by the time I finished. THIS is what it is really all about. Beautiful. Thank you so much for your dedication to our America. It is much appreciated in this corner.

[I had so many tears of laughter that my hankie was soaked by the time I finished reading it.]

Will, I've been saying all day that Senator Boxer is standing up based on your post last night. Is that true? I sure hope so, because if it is not, I have created a false impression among a lot of the Tennessee faithful and media. Is Boxer's decision to stand on 1/6 firm and final? Is any other Senator going to stand with her?

[Unlikely that Boxer will “stand up” tomorrow. She is still smarting from the self-inflicted wounds of leading a Senate lynch party against former senator Bob Packwood for the great sin of awkwardly trying to (GASP!) grab a smooch from some gal. Then years later she had to vote in favor of Bubba for lying under oath about getting a “Lewinsky” in the Oval Office. However, I am still holding out hope for Tom Harkin to act like the nutcase I know him to be. Don’t let me down, Tom.]

DUmmie FUnnies 01-04-05 (More "I Believe")

Among the most amusing of the DUmmie threads are the “I Believe” threads initiated by DUmmie Doohickie. They are my FAVES! The first “I Believe” thread began on November 13 with the now traditional words, “I believe Kerry will be inaugurated on Jan 20. I am Doohickie, and I approve this message.” The second of the “I Believe” threads began on December 16 with Doohickie leading off with the same confession of faith. This one was also covered in the DUmmie FUnnies but let us now pick up this same DUmmie THREAD again starting from New Year’s Eve for the latest in the “I Believe” confessionals. Although there have been other threads similar to the “I Believe” threads, accept NO cheap imitations. Only the threads initiated by DUmmie Doohickie have the official seal of approval. As usual the deeply believing DUmmie posts are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, hardly believing what he is reading, is in the [brackets]:

I BELIEVE.

I believe Kerry will be inaugurated on Jan 20.

I am Doohickie, and I approve this message.

[Thank you for that official invocation of the “I Believe” ceremonial thread, DUmmie Doohickie Let us now jump down and pick up this thread from December 31.]

I believe we'll have to start a third I BELIEVE thread. The support for this thread seems to be snowballing!

[And it is also VERY POPULAR over in the DUmmie FUnnies, DUmmie Doohickie.]

I believe you're right! We've got a lot of believing in us! And a lot more to do by the 6th.

[And even after the 6th. In fact I fully expect to see these “I Believe” threads AFTER Jan. 20. What will happen is that DUmmie Doohickie will come up with a Capricorn One theory of the inauguration. I expect him to post that, “I Believe that John Kerry was inaugurated on Jan. 20 because the Bush inauguration was only done in a TV studio while the REAL inauguration of Kerry was kept hidden from the public.”]

It's won't be an official "I believe" thread unless it has the Doohickie seal of approval.

[The “I Believe” threads are only kosher if they are stamped with that small “D” for Doohickie letter inside of a circle.]

It's 1:13am, New Year's eve, and there's still MORE believin' goin' on!

[I’m hearing Elvis singing: “A Whole Lot of Believin’ goin’ on!”]

It's New Years Eve and I STILL BELIEVE. I just can't help myself.

[It will be Easter. You’ll be wearing a bunny outfit and you will STILL BELIEVE. You can’t help yourself.]

It's New Year's Eve and I still Believe!!!!!!!

[That’s because the booze is just now kicking in.]

I believe we only have a few more days to find out if all of our hard work has paid off.

I believe it will.

I believe we do need a third thread also.

Kerry won get over it.

[I believe we won’t get over it until we finish laughing which may be a long time from now.]

I still believe...in the integrity of John Kerry.

I still believe that no matter what happens on Jan. 6, * will not survive 4 more years.

I still believe that more and more people will become aware of what is going on, and they will believe, too.

I still believe that no matter how bad things get, all things pass with time, and there are better things ahead.

I still believe I can teach 99.9% of my 4th graders how to multiply 2 and 3 digit numbers. (sorry, just had to throw it in).

I believe that anyone who is as nasty, self-centered, and vicious as the chimp and his malicious troop are not truly as happy as probably most of us are here.

I believe in well-deserved vacations, the purity of a newly sprung tulip in the spring, and the loving look on a new mother's face.

[I believe in the purity of a newly hung over Paris Hilton and in the wild kook of a new DUmmie’s face.]

It is 2005 and I Still Believe

[It is 2005 and I Still believe you’re nuts.]

I absolutely believe that's it's only a matter of time.

I believe that the question is shifting from "What are they hiding?" to "How long can they hide it?"

I believe that we mosquitoes in the bedroom of Democracy have succeeded in waking her up. She's not out of bed yet, but she can't fall back asleep at this point.

I believe that we are going to have some GREAT entertainment from the flying monkeys as this heats up. I'll soap myself up with falafel if I'm wrong.

I believe it's inevitable that someday in the near future, we'll find ourselves getting a lecture from a friend or colleague on how this election was stolen, and we'll smile and nod, and feel tremendously proud and grateful that we were here together now.

I believe that John Kerry will be inaugurated as our next President of the United States in 2005.

[I absolutely believe it is only a matter of time before most DUmmies are institutionalized.

I believe the question is shifting from “Are the DUmmies really nuts” to “Where can we hide them away?”

I believe that we flies on the walls of DUmmieland are laughing at their wacko posts.

I believe we are going to have some GREAT entertainment from the DUmmie Ants. I’ll soap myself up with hydrochloric acid if I’m wrong.

I believe the DUmmie FUnnies book will hit the bestseller list in 2005 thanx to DUmmie posts saying that John Kerry will be inaugurated as our next President of the United States in 2005.]

I have a confession to make...I love de widduw flying monkeys. I think they're cute. And every time they fly by...I BELIEVE even more. Look over there: where are they flying from? What's that behind the trees they don't want us to see?

[I’ll tell you what’s behind the trees they don’t want you to see. It’s your own personalized butterfly net.]

I believe that John F. Kerry will be inaugurated this month. I believe Junior will have to take his crown and move out of the WH. Quickly. I believe the louder they roar and the faster they flap their wings, the sooner they will lose. It's very amusing to watch.

[Yes. It’s very amusing to watch all your “I Believe” posts.]

I believe our time will come and it won't be as far away as some people think. I am so glad to be in such good company.

[Your time will come in a dimension as vast as space and as timeless as infinity. It is the middle ground between light and shadow, between science and superstition, and it lies between the pit of man's fears and the summit of his knowledge. This is the dimension of imagination. It is an area we call - The DUmmie Zone.]

I believe we're taking 'em down. I can’t help but think of the end of the Godfather part 1 where everyone thought the Corleone family was done (talking smack, jumping ship, etc.). Then during the baptism scene, Michael takes all the f*ckers down all at once and becomes more powerful than anyone thought he was capable of. Here’s to us and Kerry taking all the f*ckers down!

[Godfather screenplay as written by Rod Serling.]

It is such a relief to see this thread every day. You step inside, and it is just like a the clouds part and a ray of sunshine engulfs you. I Believe in the power of positive thought and optimism. I Believe that the power for change rests in the hands of the people, and I believe that we are going to make history this week.
I Love all of You Believers. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

[It is such a relief to see this thread every day. You step inside and it is like a vacation from harsh reality. I Love all of You Believers for making the DUmmie FUnnies the most hilarious Blog on the Web. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.]

DUmmie FUnnies 01-03-05 (“Myths Run Wild in Blog [DUmmies] Tsunami Debate")

In case you missed it, there was a great New York Times ARTICLE published today titled, “Myths Run Wild in Blog Tsunami Debate.” The article revealed how among the many other insane DUmmie theories, they also suggested that Bush was somehow responsible for causing the Indonesia earthquake and the following tsunami. The only real gripe I have with the author of this piece, John Schwartz, is that he did NOT mention the DUmmie FUnnies in his story. Instead he turned for a conservative comment about the DUmmies to an editor of http://www.wizbangblog.com/. Hopefully, if Mr. Schwartz writes more articles about DUmmie lunacy in the future, he will turn to the SOURCE of record for their foibles here at the DUmmie FUnnies. Anyhoo, let us now look at the DUmmie outrage expressed in this DUmmieland THREAD at being exposed in the New York Times as the nutcases that they are. As usual, the DUmmie commentary is in Bolshevik Red while the comments of your humble correspondent, still smarting over the wounds left by John Schwartz for neglecting to mention the DUFUs, are in the [brackets]:

Ignore the peanut gallery. People who said the earth was round, or that man could fly were treated the same way. Twas ever thus.

[Just to refresh everybody’s memories, this was the DUmmie quote in the NY Times: “The cause of the earthquake and resulting killer wave, the writer said, could be the war in Iraq. ‘You know, we've exploded many millions of tons of ordnance upon this poor planet,’ the writer said. ‘All that 'shock and awe' stuff we've just dumped onto the Asian part of this earth - could we have fractured something? Perhaps the earth was just reacting to something that man has done to injure it. The earth is organic, you know. It can be hurt.’”]

Rovian attack dogs writing a story about DU to make you ashamed of who you are.

[Don’t be ashamed of blaming Bush for causing the tsunami. Hold your heads up high and also blame him for causing the winter snowstorms. (Note to Mr. Schwartz if you are reading this: You will see a lot of DUmmie references to Karl Rove.)]

This actually is a pretty good article on the whole, but a lot of people, including people right here apparently, will get stuck at "myths" "Democratic Underground" and "cranks."

[“Cranks” at DUmmieland? Where would we ever get such a strange idea? Oh, and would you mind posting another “I BELIEVE!” thread about how Kerry will be inaugurated on Jan. 20 via “visualizing our own reality?”]

If I hadn't already been involved with DU...this article would have left me with a truly bad impression. It's not balanced at all, but does a remarkable job of feigning impartiality by mentioning sites on both sides. BUT...the conservative sites are mentioned only in their derision of DU with no mention of their own 'warts' and the hate they spew. Where was the mention of Free Republic? Nowhere. Many people do not read past the first few paragraphs of any article in the newspaper, which is why the most important information is always there. If they persist, then the last paragraph is what a great many readers will take away as their final thought on DU, if they got past the first: "In the tsunami discussion on Democratic Underground, some participants continued to post farfetched theories about what caused the earthquake based on pseudoscience and conspiracy,..." In this case, bad publicity is simply bad publicity.

[I agree with your critique about no mention of the Free Republic in the article. John Schwartz should have mentioned a certain VERY POPULAR (biggest PING List on the FR) feature in the FR Bloggers section which regularly chronicles the foibles of you DUmmies.]

When the NYT's goes after us it shows they think we are dangerous. So, to ridicule us while not mentioning Free Republic and the Swift Boat Liars for Truth who are part of the Repug Machine on the ground, is a clear sign from the White House that they want us "marginalized."

[Trust me. The White House need do NOTHING. You are doing an EXCELLENT job of marginalizing yourselves. (Note to John Schwartz: Check archived editions of the DUFUs for just how nutty the DUmmies are in their OWN words.)]

we hit the NYT, wooHoo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! we must be doing something right to get them to start deriding us. thanks for the FREE advertising NYT

[WOO! HOO! Now even MORE people know we are totally nuts. (Note to John Schwartz: You wanna see full wacko city, then check out the any DUmmie thread that says, “I BELIEVE!”]

perhaps the "reporter" himself posted it.

[Attention John Schwartz: Now the DUmmies are suggesting you posted the tsunami thread. Next they will be accusing YOU of causing the tsunami.]

The conservatives would never find any good in DU regardless, water under the bridge. Too bad they don't do a follow up artice about free republic, they are tin foil hat about everything.

[Like how Karl Rove was behind the forgery of the Texas Air National Guard letter?]

actually I just checked, they seem to be having a ball reading DU

[Of course. The DUmmie FUnnies is a PURE pleasure and we are having a ball reading it.]

Like all ignorant, fascist chumps, they spend their time pointing fingers and laughing at things they pretend to understand.

[Our reply from the DUmmie FUnnies is: BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!]

Sometimes I think someone is just trying to make us look like idiots on purpose - trolls - but people have their own wacky ideas too so how do you really know.

[Perhaps you should interrogate DUmmie Doohickie about his “I BELIEVE!” threads. They sure do make you sound like idiots.]

We are becoming a Mecca for cranks.

[And DUmmie arwalden wins a Kewpie doll for the most truthful post of the day!]

There are 60,000 registered here. That's a small city.

[And of that (inflated) total, at least half are secret Freeper Trolls.]

NYT Missed 'BUSH Involved in JFK Assassination'. Never see this covered, FBI memo documenting how George Herbert Walker Bush called the FBI to rat on a suspect -- within MINUTES of the death President Kennedy.

[Hopefully John Schwartz will rectify that oversight by writing up a story titled, “DUmmies Accuse Bush of JFK Assassination Involvement.”]

they love to pick on DU because of a few out there posts in the midst of many more "rational" ones, but the truly vile stuff from the right never gets quoted. At least we don't pretend to be balanced NYT. Better to be radical than a hypocrite.

[“Rational” posts like how Kerry will be inaugurated on Jan. 20. (Note to John Schwartz: These are not isolated posts---almost every other post in the DUmmie “Election 2004” section is on this topic.)]

The NYT linked wizbangblog.com but NOT D.U. (only mentioned name, no URL) So they link the conservative blogs, but only name the liberal blogs...

[Count your blessings that they didn’t mention nor link to the DUmmie FUnnies.]

Shame on any DUer who helped to propagate this bullshit earthquake theory. Thanks for muddying the waters again......

[Thanks for the laughs!]

Not all that long ago, DU would have been too insignificant to even rate a mention in the NYT. Now we are getting mentioned in the MSM, but usually with derision. Hmmmm. Wonder where that talking point came from?

[DUmmie FUnnies?]

We have GOT to get a grip, here. We have enough REAL problems to deal with without manufacturing more. And no matter how much power the Bush Administration gathers to itself, there is a limit to what even they are capable of...really.

[A Perfect Rovian Storm knows NO limits to its VAST evil power!]

Expect a lot of new chimp haters joining us today, courtesy of the NYTimes article. And maybe a few trolls as well.

[ALL HAIL OUR GLORIOUS EMPEROR, CHIMPUS KAHN!!!]

Thank goodness we aren't perpetuating myths like 9-11 was done by a guy on dialysis living in a cave in Afghanistan. Would hate to be irresponsible.

[Instead you are blaming 9-11 on a guy eating pretzels in the White House.]

Why are these uninformed cranks and crackpots gathering here at DU? It makes DU look bad and by association, it makes many Democrats look bad too.

[If you kick out uninformed cranks and crackpots from DUmmieland then you lose at least 95% of your membership. (Not counting Freeper Trolls.)]

DUmmie FUnnies 01-02-05 ("No matter what, Bush WILL be sworn in as president on January 20th")

Yesterday’s DUmmie FUnnies thread was an “I BELIEVE” type of thread. Today’s DUmmie THREAD titled, “No matter what, Bush WILL be sworn in as president on January 20th” could be considered an Anti-I BELIEVE thread. Notice how the DUmmies angrily react to the strong dose of reality posed by DUmmie Walt Starr. As usual, the other dimensional DUmmie postings are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent is in the [brackets]:

No matter what, Bush WILL be sworn in as president on January 20th. There is no way around that fact constitutionally. First of all, the electoral votes have been cast and will be read and Bush will be declared the winner. Should some Senator end his/her political career by contesting a slate of electors, it gets thrown to the House where each STATE gets a single vote. Bush would win by a bigger margin in the House than he did in the electoral college! The Senate WILL choose Cheney and the whole point will be moot!

Face the fact folks, constitutionally, Bush WILL BE SWORN IN ON JANUARY 20TH!!!

I suggest energy be put towards the decision of who will be DNC Chair in February and fighting the Bush agenda on a daily basis because it will be a LONG four years otherwise.

[Uh-Oh! Prepare to be thoroughly flamed, DUmmie Walt Starr, for your realistic post in DUmmieland.]

stop being a realist

[I agree. Nothing more disgusting than a lousy realist who refused to BEEEELEEEEVE that Kerry will be inaugurated this month.]

You had better get used to it. Nothing is going to stop it.

[YOU BE QUIET!!! I believe! I believe! I BEEEELEEEEVE!!!]

I'm still offering $5 bets that Kerry takes the oath of office--people used to laugh--now they just look very uncomfortable

[They look very uncomfortable because they don’t feel good with taking money from a sucker.]

I'll bet you $1000 that Bush is sworn in on January 20th. Care to take me up on it?

[Let me in on some of that action as well.]

You're most certainly on but it could get us thrown off the message board-- at least I can say I put my money where my mouth--or typing finger--is

[It’s fun to watch a DUmmie drain his funds dry.]

Face it now. it would only be worse if you went all the way to January 20 thinking Kerry was going to be sworn in and had t face it then.

[And to help you face it then, here is the Suicide Hotline number: 1-800-BUSH-WON.]

Oh! Oh! Please, stop! I might cry!

[Reality! What a downer!]

Too many people on DU are living in a fantasy world thinking that Kerry will still be able to be president when it simply is not going to happen.

[I BEEEEELEEEEEVE! BEEEEELEEEEEVE!]

What I find particularly sad is that there are still a lot of people on DU who are clinging to sheer fantasy. You'll see lots of posts about Kerry's "secret plan" which he is putting into action "out of sight, in just the right way." Just before Christmas we had many 1000+ posters clamoring about the "blockbuster lawsuit" filed last Monday in Ohio that would reveal all and change everything.
Look, there are some very fundamental problems that will block any attempt to change anything. We're stuck with at least four more years of our War Crimes President. The Democrats are a sham, being a mere fictional foil of the republican party. It's all a facade. The press is now completely corrupted, acting as a state news agency to prop up the fraud. We're living in a soviet state. Protests will be edited from domestic news coverage just as thay have been for the past four years. Of course, they will be covered in the foreign press. This is the way it was in the Soviet Union. The way I see it, the only hope for change is from one of two places -- either from outside the country, or the republican party itself. It took the Soviet Union seventy years before Gorbachev came along. It could very well be that long before our country returns to democracy, if it ever does.

[DUmmie sally343434 tries to get her fellow DUmmies back to reality and then claims we are living in a soviet state. So even when DUmmies try to be realistic they almost always fail in the attempt.]

How crushed will your hope be if you are led to believe that Jan 6 will result in an unlikely miracle and it doesn't?

[It will destroy my life but, other than that, no big deal].

So, Walt: when Conyers says he's absolutely sure that SEVERAL Senators WILL contest, you think he's lying, or spinning, or what exactly?

[Dreaming acid inspired dreams.]

DUmmie FUnnies 01-01-05 ("To the Believers")

I love these DUmmie Great Pumpkin “I Believe!” type threads. They are RICH in comedy material. Therefore what a better way to enter the New Year with the Dummie FUnnies than this DUmmie THREAD titled, “To the Believers.” Yes, yet another HILARIOUS DUmmie discussion about how Kerry WILL be inaugurated this January. I happen to have more belief in the power of screeching snake handlers deep in the Appalachia than I do in the possibility of a President Kerry this January. The alternate reality of the DUmmie Believers is in Bolshevik Red while the highly skeptical commentary of you humble correspondent is in the [brackets]:

To the Believers. I am honored to be among all of you on the eve of this new year. You have inspired me, you have empowered me and you have given me faith that despite the odds, obstacles and naysayers, we will win…We believe because what we visualize is what we will achieve. Here's to all you believers. I pass on this message from IAMREALITY... "To my friends at DU, I miss you and I wish you all a Happy New Year.” Failure is the path of least persistence - I BELIEVE

[I BELIEVE these “I BELIEVE” threads are among the FUNNIEST in DUmmieland. HAPPY NEW YEAR DUmmies, and thanks for the many laughs!]

Thanks! Conscious, consistent, intentionality...gets it done!

[You left out UNREALITY.]

Some of us do not want to give up our dreams.

[Some of us don’t want to give up our unreality.]

Never stop believing, it will be a great year indeed...for the good guys. Sorry Chimp, it's not lookin to good for you.

[Close your eyes real hard and maybe you can wish away the Evil Reign of our Glorious Emperor, Chimpus Kahn.]

The enemy is counting on us to do nothing. They will throw up barriors in our way. They will send messengers telling us all is lost. Believers, DO NOT LISTEN. This is our fight, and we must remain steadfast, no matter what happens.

[Actually “The Enemy” is counting on you to keep up providing us with lots of laughs with these “I Believe!” threads.]

“Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it's the only thing that ever has.” - Margaret Mead

[Is that the same Margaret Mead who was exposed as a fraudulent anthropologist?]

I have said before that your wise and inspirational posts have sustained my faith.

[Faith in your Savior, John Kerry?]

Remember this: The good guys always win.

[Psst! Bush Won.]

Orange Revolution Begins Today! Rock on in 2005! Great message! The Orange Revolution begins today!

[Orange you a wee bit unrealistic?]

If you seriously think that John Kerry is going to be sworn in as president then you're setting yourself up for a huge disappointment.

[LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]

i will wear an orange hat on epiphany in dc
and gonna walk 25 miles to get there

[So will you be wearing an orange bunny suit on Easter Sunday?]

I believe that 2005 is John Kerry's year, I really do. I also believe we're going to have fun (in a rollercoaster fashion, alternating between an adrenalin rush and nausea) watching this year not be Junior's year.

[Your rollercoaster ride in 2005 will alternate between severe nausea and extreme vomiting.]

I will continue to believe and never lose my faith. Even if no one stands on January 6, I will continue to work towards "regime change" at home.

[aka treason.]

I Believe and I will continue to believe through the ups and downs of this bitter battle in which we are engaged. I know that we will win, I can feel it, I can see it and I can taste it.

[So what does elephant doo-doo taste like?]

we are saying that kerry will win and Bush is out. bush committed a crime and he soon will be punished along with the others who helped him commit the acts

[What crime? Jaywalking or overdue library books?]

I haven't fooled myself into thinking Kerry is somehow going to take office. I'd really love to hear exactly how you beleive that this is going to happen. Please give me a play by play of how this will unfold over the next week and enable Kerry to take office. Or are you just wishing it to happen so much that you don't think about it realistically?

[Here’s how it happens. Tinkerbell sprinkles her Pixie Dust on Congress on Jan. 6, making them think that Kerry won the election. Then a giant pink Bunny Rabbit named Harvey announces Kerry as the winner to make it official.]


Lots of threads covering just these scenarios. We're not going to waste DU bandwidth by reproducing all of the abundantly available documentation here. Welcome to DU. Welcome to the world of possibilities.

[Welcome to DUmmieland. Welcome to the world of impossibilities.]

we are actually at a kind of 'uncertain' stage right now, because we still need to hear from the U.S. Circuit Court where Kerry/Cobb filed the motion/lawsuit to secure machines and ballots, etc to inspect for tampering. There are so many fronts going on right now that are not complete so it is really hard to tell which one, if any, are going to have an effect.

[One exciting front is in front of Kerry’s Boston townhouse. The vigil of the frozen there could very well yield WONDERFUL results if we just wish hard enough.]

We Believe that battles are never won without visualizing the victory. This thread is dedicated to all those that keep the vision alive. So, your question, "What do we expect to win?" Class warrior answered "It All" To me, that is the perfect answer. We visualize the ultimate downfall of the Bush Family Evil Empire. We visualize our question "What Are They Hiding?" answered live on Faux News as poor little Katherine sits before the Grand Jury. We visualize an end to corporate controlled media and a re-birth of free and independent media. We visualize a movement of ordinary Americans, united in one common goal. We will not stand down until we win. "The win" is not about one man, or one event, or one date. "The win" is what we will achieve when we commit to never giving up. This thread is dedicated to those believers that have embraced winning and have committed to never giving up the fight.

[This thread is dedicated to all those Japanese soldiers who fought on in tiny South Pacific islands long after WWII was over.]

Believe in a great surprise to happen on or about the 6th. Democracy must win out over the evil we have experienced over the past four years.

[Remember the Suicide Hotline number on Jan. 20: 1-800-BUSH-WON.]