Wednesday, January 19, 2005

DUmmie FUnnies 01-19-05 ("What's your fantasy for the inaugural Thursday?")


The DUmmies have gone from believing (“I Believe”) to fantasizing. Where recently they stated “I Believe John Kerry Will Be Inaugurated On Jan. 20,” they have now gone to fantasy as in this DUmmie THREAD titled “What's your fantasy for the inaugural Thursday?” If the DUmmies want to know what MY fantasy is, it is that Senator Barack Obama is laughing his ass off at the DUmmies via the DUFUs. The big difference is that my fantasy is actually in the realm of reality. However, let us indulge the DUmmies their fantasy as WE laugh our asses off at them in this DUFU edition. The DUmmie fantasies are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, who hopes to watch the good senator on Oprah later today, is in the [brackets]:




What's your fantasy for the inaugural Thursday? Chimp's tele-prompter malfunctioning? Chimp tripping and scraping his face again at an important moment? Chimp's mystery bulge dropping out of the back of his jacket?


[Chimp taking the oath of office at noon?]


Frigid temps. Snowstorm. Everything cancelled.


[Excellent weather. DUmmieland crashes.]


close to 6 billion people protesting facism. Thats what this is about FACISM there is no cute little word for it,no sound bite,hate rant ,racist comment,it is facism .


[An election campaign with televised debates. It MUST be facism.]


I wake up from my nightmare. Find out that it was just a bad dream. Find out it's actually just the morning of Nov. 3 and Kerry won. Or, wake up to see Kerry taking the oath.



[Check your time and date. It is the afternoon of Nov. 2. All you DUmmies are loudly gloating over the Kerry victory due to the exit polls. Take a celebratory swig of champagne from Susan Estrich’s bottle.]


How about one of the parade floats turning out to be a display filled ...with proof of the election fraud? When it stops in front of Bush's private viewing booth, a load of policemen burst out of it and cart Bush off in handcuffs. Kerry rides in on a beautiful white horse and takes the oath of office instead of Bush ...


[The trouble is that campaign float has nothing but balloons full of hot air.]


Teresa gets so upset that she buys an island, and lets all of us live on it.


[That fantasy already happened. The island is called Nantucket. However, you peons aren’t allowed anywhere near it.]


I see eggs. Lots of eggs....


[I see jail time. Lots of jail time.]


French and German special forces advance on Washington...A snatch and grab mission executed to perfection. The result: a one way trip to the Hague for * and Co. to find out just how "quaint and obsolete" the Geneva Conventions really are.


[The only trouble with that scenario is that the French forces would surrender to the German forces before they even reach Washington.]


If I say what my fantasy really is the SS will not doubt pay a visit.


[You’re already said quite enough. Now answer that knocking at your door, DUmmie SheilaT. I repeat, DUmmie SheilaT.]


Surprise visit from Osama and his boys in 2001, I told friends was afraid to visit DC during the inauguration because I thought airplanes would be flying into buildings. Hell, I was eight months before my time (9/11). I would not be surprised if Osama has a special present for the President.


[And I wouldn’t be surprised if you have a special present from the Secret Service, DUmmie fortyfeetunder. I repeat, DUmmie fortyfeetunder.]


71 Comments:

Blogger Icarus said...

PJ:

All right, time for you to take the next step(s) with this thing:

1) Get off this blogger.com thing and set up your own domain. I suspect www.dummiefunnies.com is still available. Go get it.

2) Make all the freepers come to YOUR site to read the funnies, rather than posting it all at free republic.

3) Get all the conservative blogs (polipundit, powerline, crushkerry, etc etc etc etc) to link to you. Trust me, that won't be difficult. Get them to put up perma-links, and set up some links of your own.

4) Open up a good comments section for each thread - so you get hundreds of comments instead of a handful. The comments sections are awesome on most conservative blogs, and your dummiefunnies are ripe material for debate. The best part? Easy - you'll quickly get a few Democrat trolls who will argue in the comment threads and be deliciously funny. In fact - go to other conservative blogs and RECRUIT liberal trolls.

5) Now start putting some paid advertising on your new site; and add a place for people to donate.

6) Final step: start raking in some serious money, become web famous as the innovator and editor of DuFu, quit your day job, and send me a cut.

Seriously. Time to expand this thing. It's a gold mine waiting to happen, I promise. And if you do it right, you might seriously get to publish your DummieFunnies book.

Good luck!

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