DUmmie FUnnies 04-15-05 ("Rangel: Bush 'Impeachable' for Social Security 'Fraud'")

When I began reading this DUmmie THREAD titled, “Rangel: Bush 'Impeachable' for Social Security 'Fraud',” I thought the DUmmies would cast skepticism on the story because its source was NewsMax which they usually denounce as being “rightwing.” However, DUmmie desperation is such that they instead EMBRACED this story with glee because they are looking for any, ANY excuse to try to impeach George W. Bush with. Hey, DUmmies! Bush just attended the Pope’s funeral. Why don’t we impeach him for violating the separation of Church and State decree as interpreted by the ACLU? Hey DUmmies! Bush just tossed out the first ball of the season in D.C. last night. Why don’t we impeach Bush for dereliction of duties for spending time at a baseball game instead of attending to his White House business? The list is endless. Over the next couple of years, hardly a week will go by without the DUmmies finding some sort of “impeachable offense” to charge Bush with. However, such charges also leads to great comedy reading such as this edition of the DUFUs. As usual, the unimpeachable insanity of the DUmmies is in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, pleading Nolo Contendre, is in the [brackets]:

With Carl Limbacher and NewsMax.com Staff For the story behind the story...

Thursday, April 14, 2005 12:15 p.m. EDT
Rangel: Bush 'Impeachable' for Social Security 'Fraud'

Top House Democrat Charlie Rangel said this week that President Bush had committed an "impeachable offense" by trying to destroy the Social Security retirement system, calling Bush's reform plan "a fraud."

In comments to the New York Sun, Rangel blasted the president for trying to "dismantle" Social Security, saying it would hurt black Americans disproportionately. After calling the White House proposal fraudulent, Rangel said Bush's attempt to reform Social Security was an "impeachable offense." For black Americans, the congressman added, the struggle against the proposed changes was "not only a civil-rights fight, but a fight for America."

Rangel called on African-Americans to continue their "missionary" work against the Social Security proposals and likened the effort to marching with Martin Luther King Jr. from Selma to Montgomery. Before raising the spectre of impeachment, the top Democrat told a Town Hall meeting in Harlem that the Bush Social Security plan was both "vicious and mean." "We have to get rid of the bums that are trying to take away from us," Rangel complained, saying he was referring to "people who sleep with Bush, Cheney, Wolfowitz, and the rest of them."

[Thus we see the NewsMax story posted in Dummieland. And the congressman who deserves to be impeached the most is none other than Charles Rangel himself for wasting government time and money for introducing a Draft bill that he voted AGAINST. I repeat. Charles Rangel voted AGAINST his own bill. Tell me that isn’t a huge dereliction of duty and responsibility.]

Go Charlie Go-YES YES

[YES! YES! OH YES, CHARLIE! I am about to have massive urinations of HAPPINESS in my pants at the prospect of a Bush impeachment. Oh, what did you say was his impeachable offense? No matter. All that counts is that Bush be IMPEACHED. OH YES! YEEEESSSSS!!!!]

Sounds good to me. His whole program is a fraud. He has no plan and there is nothing wrong with Social Security. Boxer was on some CSPAN program and was telling how in the 80's they worked with Reagan on fixing it to where it was fine and everything.

[Yup! Everything is just hunk-dory with social security. Barbara Boxer said so. But wait! Is she actually giving credit to Reagan for that? Does not compute! Does not compute!]

IMPEACH NOW. sTART THE IMPEACHMENT HEARINGS NOW

[This minute. INSTANTLY. We’ll find the charges later but the important thing is that we IMPEACH NOW!!!]

Oh, yes. Getting chills thinking about taking off work to watch the * Impeachment on CSPAN! Hallelujah! What a day THAT would be!

[And don’t forget to mop up those Urinations of HAPPINESS off the floor.]

Kick and nominated. Because I like Charlie a whole lot for a whole lot of reasons.

[What a great guy that Charlie is! Voting AGAINST his own draft bill and wasting the Congress’s time.]

Gotta love how he gets the issues in the news...Getting words like "Impeachment" and "Draft" on the floor and in the news is how you start people talking and a consensus moving. He's also one of the most consistently funny and articulate men I've ever seen in government office. He's a gem.

[Hmm… If Rangel voted against his own draft bill, does that mean he will vote against his own impeachment proposal? He’s a gem.]

Interesting. I hope someone will act on it.

[Don’t worry. It is being featured in the DUmmie FUnnies. Now if we can also get it out in book forum (with CD-ROM insert for the related comix stories)…. CALLING MARY MATALIN!!!]

Ahhh, makes me feel a little better...when a Democrat in the House talks about impeachement.

[Even if he is a fraudulent nutcase who votes against his own bills.]

that would be around 12th on my list of impeachable offenses

[…..Right behind tossing out the ball on the opening day of the baseball season.]

I can dig it, but remember they got Capone on tax evasion. Anything is better than nothing. Get him on whatever you can get him on. And they won't have planned for something small.

[Overdue library books, jaywalking, ripping the mattress tag off his bed. Yes. There are a whole host of charges we can use to charge Bush with.]

This is great - finally someone puts it out there without mincing words. And he HIT IT OUT OF THE PARK!

[I repeat. Throwing the baseball out on the first day of the season. IMPEACHABLE OFFENSE!!!]

OK with me,but why isn't lying to launch an illegal invasion of a disarmed nation and thus causing the murder of tens of thousands of innocent Iraqis a problem? Why isn't lying about Medicare an impeachable offense? Why isn't interfering with the investigation of 9-11 an impeachable offense? Why isn't impeding the investigation of Plame outing, Energy commission findings and the investigation into purchasing media an impeachable offense? Why isn't destroying our economy an impeachable offense?

[Why isn’t improper use of a pretzel an impeachable offense? Huh? Huh?]

Al Franken also said several times that Shrub's comment implying that the Social Security Bonds may not be honored by the government at some point is an impeachable statement. I forget which Article in the Constitution Franken referred to, but apparently Shrub's implying he might NOT honor these Bonds is an Impeachable comment.

[It’s in Article XXXIII of the Constitution aka the Social Security Bonds Amendment. BTW, Ariticle XXX is known as the Pornography Amendment. It prohibits the graphic display of Ron “The Hedgehog” Jeremy without a warning notice.]

I just get so frustrated! I feel so helpless, because no one seems to be doing anything about these horrendously egregious offenses.

[I’ve worked myself into a frothing rage over the proposal to reform Social Security. NEVER was there a more heinous act proposed by the White House!]

HERE IS MY PROBLEM WITH THIS!!!!!!!! I have hear of so many impeachable acts that Bush has done. I feel like there are a bunch of people talking about cutting a tree down. They keep standing around it and no one MOVES. Someone needs to get a chain saw and some ropes and START the job! WHO is going to Start this job? WHO is going to start this f*cking job? I sure would do it but I have no authority. I would not stand around and TALK about taking the damed tree down. I can't get a straight answer on this one and I really need to know. We all do so we can push the right people to get on down to the hardware store and buy a chain saw!

[I hear that K-Mart has a Blue Light special on chain saws this week.]

They CAN'T do this without Republican help as the Senate is now. They can't even begin a vote on it. There is no chainsaw to buy here, all the stores are owned by Republicans for now and are not open for business.

[And this DUmmie wins a Kewpie doll for a very brief moment of mental clarity!]

Impeachment is a word that needs to be used every day, until inertia alone makes something happen.

[I believe it is called “creating our own reality.”]