Friday, April 08, 2005

DUmmie FUnnies 04-08-05 ("I'm old - I should know better - but I like the pie-throwing stuff")

Someday, in the very near future (if I can get Mary Matalin to contact me), when the DUmmie FUnnies book (with CD-ROM insert for the related comix stories) is a HUGE bestseller, DUmmie Skinner is going to bitch and moan about how I took the whole infantile DUmmieland food tossing rage out of context. He will claim that I concentrated on it unfairly to make the DUmmies look like a bunch of pathetic crybabies. And my answer will be that I focused on the Food Tossing Rage threads because there were SO MANY of them. Believe me. This whole obsession about angrily tossing things in rage at conservatives is NOT isolated. Even as this edition of the DUFUs is being posted there are MANY other similar such threads. Yes, I will feature them simply because it PERFECTLY illustrated the depths to which the DUmmies have fallen. This particular DUmmie THREAD is titled, “I'm old - I should know better - but I like the pie-throwing stuff.” As usual the screechings of DUmmies angrily tossing food around like crybabies is in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, watching their mashed potatoes brains at work, is in the [brackets]:

I'm old - I should know better - but I like the pie-throwing stuff.

[Yes. You are old but since you are a DUmmie your mental midgetry is understandable, DUmmie DancingBear.]

I'm sorry, but every time I read of somebody determined to end freedom as we know it getting hit by a pie I get a BIG smile….

[…And a yellow waterfall down your pants.]

Maybe I have fond memories of the guerrilla tactics of my youth, but I really don't care what any "mainstream" or right wing radio nut job thinks. I just think it's some kind of weird poetic karma that these guys can't even spew their garbage without fear of getting slopped on/over.

[It will be a weird poetic karma when you spend the rest of your days in jail for causing harm, which will inevitably happen, when smashing a pie into someone’s face. Come to think of it, you will also be getting a lot of jail karma shoved up a body cavity.]

I mean, c'mon - don't you just wish Hannity was at one end of the table, and YOU were at the other? With a seltzer bottle?

[I wish you were on one end of the defense table with me in front of you as the judge. If that were the case, you would be serving a lot of jail shower room time.]

I would prefer a fire hose.

[No problem. We can arranged to have it shoved up one of your body cavities.]

oh yeah, I hear ya and a nice fresh cowpie topped with meringue for Coulter.

[So spoke DUmmie riverwalker with a voice muffled by too much cowpie in the mouth.]

I love it. I hope it continues. But I would bring tabasco sauce in a giant squirt bottle. I want it to burn.

[And cause permanent eye damage, DUmmie prattleon. YEAH!]

I can't help it , the pie in the face thing might do some good these days…

[…Since you have absolutely NOTHING else going for you.]

Fruits and vegetables would round the diet out a bit!

[DUmmieland already has an ample supply of fruits and nuts.]

It Clears The Conscious But Loses Elections. From a purely practical standpoint, it sucks. From a purely emotional standpoint, it is awesome. The best of both scenarios would be to throw the pies and not have it broadcast across the nation.

[Don’t worry. You will CONTINUE to lose elections and eat crow.]

it will have zero effect on elections anyone who would vote on the basis of whether horowitz gets pied or not isn't voting for us anyway

[Keep doing the pie routine and turn more blue states red.]

I agree, but is not a single pie in the face ... or 2 ... or 3 ... but it is a general impression that we are the ones who are standing against free speech.

[And this DUmmie wins a Kewpie doll for a very brief moment of mental clarity!]

what do you mean "we?" do those pies have little lables that say "courtesy of the Democratic Party?" what a bunch of students having a laugh at the expense of RW assholes do has nothing to do with Democrats running for office.

[Oh yes it does. I could explain why but why but I won’t give the campaign secrets away.]

As you should (get charged with assult) for few reasons: First you have to draw the line somewhere; the consequences of allowing assault, no matter minor, on politicians is that someone will want to bring it one step further. Secondly this is a distraction to the political process and if it done on a large scale it becomes nuisance. Finally it IS assault. I would charge anyone who did this type of thing too me with assault, I don’t see why it should be any different with politicians.


Those monsters justify and support the murder of Thousands. Hanging by the neck is proper and just. But you think a pie in the face is unjustified and pose as an outraged moralist?

[We got your number, DUmmie ConsAreLiars. I repeat: DUmmie ConsAreLiars.]

What happens if one of these pie-throwers gets shot and killed? I mean it is a horror for the people around the famous people/neocon politicians. The people whose job it is to protect them. And it just makes it all the harder for them to serve & protect because what if you mistake a suicide bomber for a pie thrower?


Your concern for legalities is absurd.

[Screw the law!]

I would prefer rotten vegetables, myself.

[Then hurl yourself, DUmmie Jawja.]

For those of you who don't realize this is very similar to mob justice and last man standing (rule of gun).



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