Wednesday, April 06, 2005

DUmmie FUnnies 04-06-05 (DUmmies SLAM DUmmie FUnnies!!!)

I always move DUmmie threads attacking the DUmmie FUnnies to the top of the audition process. Therefore this edition is about the DUmmies slamming the DUFUs in this THREAD oddly titled, “Too funny, yet oddly flattering.. One hand clapping makes more sound..” The oddly flattered DUmmie postings are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, watching the DUmmies watching me watching them, is in the [brackets]:

Too funny, yet oddly flattering.. One hand clapping makes more sound..

[And a loud one-handed clap for you, DUmmie SoCalDem.]

This little freak spends waaaay too much time at DU... apparently he has devoted his website to dissecting our posts. Might the surname be "Moran"??

[Actually I don’t need to spend too much time in DUmmieland to find reality-challenged threads. And, no, I am NOT related to that Democrat Congressman in Northern Virginia badly in need of an Anger Management program.]

and he's a "star" at FR... apparently no one reads his blog, so he reposts it there

[Actually I am a SUPERSTAR at the FR. And thanx for the plug, DUmmie SoCalDem, plus thanx for the many NUTTY posts you have provided the DUFUs. You are definitely one of the more wacked out Lefties in DUmmieland which is saying a lot.]

[Yes. Thanx for that link to that “The Egg, Pie, and Salad Dressing Rebellion..”. edition of the DUmmie FUnnies. You were the star in that edition, DUmmie SoCalDem, with your childish suggestion that DUmmies are justified to toss stuff at conservatives since you folks are so frustrated over the lack of attention to your insanity. Again I thank you for the great comedy material.]

that picture is going to give me nightmares. who the heck said, "hey, I'm gonna draw a beaver smoking a cigar while twitching its eyebrows at me!"

[Bill Clinton whispered that suggestion into my ear. He wanted to see beavers with cigars.]

Impossible to imagine a more sorry assed nitwit than that guy. He ought to be doing something useful, like working on a highway weed pulling crew or something.

[How about working on a highway crew pulling down dopey signs you DUmmies have been putting up on the overpasses? I saw a DUmmie thread with that very recommendation. Sorry if I hadn’t gotten around to DUFUing that thread yet.]

At the FR thread he (or someone) brags about taking a picture of a DUer (Faye) at a gathering.. calls it.."taking one for the team".. Silverback..ring any bells DUers??

[Um…you need to improve your reading skills, DUmmie SoCalDem. That was speedaddiction who made that claim. Overweight, pierced, tattooed, pallid DUmmie chicks aren’t my thing.]

Somebody pm Faye. He might be a stalker.

[In DUmmie Faye’s case I am an anti-stalker. I want to stay AWAY from her.]

This is rally sad for two reasons:

1) This guy really loves DU and he just can't admit it, but, more imiportantly, 2) I'm not mentioned! zip, nada, nothing. I'd like to think I reach peaks of irrationality equal to the DU gold standard. I must re-tool and get back to work.

[1)Yes, I admit it. I love DUmmieland for its rich treasure trove of inadvertent humor. 2) Good news, DUmmie autorank! You have been mentioned here! Your peaks of irrationality do equal the DUmmie Gold standard. Congratulations on being irrational enough to make it into the DUmmie FUnnies!]

You could check his archives.. Maybe you are featured there (he thinks I am a guy, so he must not spend THAT much time here )

[It’s hard to tell about gender identity in DUmmieland, DUmmie SoCalDem. Therefore I often refer to DUmmies as she/he/it. And yes, you should check the DUFU archives, DUmmie SoCalDem. Since you are on the fringe of the DUmmie fringes, you have been featured here many times in the past.]

You know what he reminds me of? Back in the old days of Usenet, there was a particular brand of poster. They'd take a long post, break it up into single sentences, follow each sentence with another sentence (or a paragraph) with some wise-ass comment that most of the time didn't even relate to the subject of the post, and continue in the same way for the ENTIRE LONG POST. Like the guy thought he was actually having some sort of repartee with the original poster, and coming up with all these great comebacks to each sentence (gee not too tough to do when you've got unlimited time to think of each one).

[Surprise, DUmmie ltfranklin. I only spend a few seconds typing up each reply. I prefer not to linger too long on each DUmmie insanity since there is soooo much more such material to review.]

Then he'd post the reply, and disappear...never responding to any reply to his post, although most people gave up reading after the first inane wise-ass comment or two...probably actually thinking they accomplished something.

[Actually I ALWAYS respond to the posts. It’s a courtesy thing with me.]

You know, I don't even remember what we called these asses.

[I believe the asses are called “DUmmies.”]

I read his whole blog for the last week. He just picks one story a day…

[Actually it is usually TWO blog editions per day. However on special occasions such as when you DUmmies got cold water splashed on your collective faces after gloating over the exit polls on Election Day, I had about a half dozen editions chronicling your hilarious mass scale depression.]

it seems. I guess the doesn't like to argue in Real Time! Much easier at the end of the discussion on another board.

[Um…mind explaining just how you argue in Real Time on a Blog? Besides, what’s the point? I don’t want to debate you DUmmies on the error of your ways. I want you to REMAIN the same. You need to continue your paranoid rantings about BFEE, PNAC, LIHOP, MIHOP, IHOP with large helpings of I BELIEVE stuff about creating your own reality. For you DUmmies to become normal means I LOSE my comedy material.]

He's a "Peeper-Freeper" peeps in here, and then spends a day or so coming up with his "barbed" retorts

[Usually the audition process takes longer than the actual DUFUing which normally takes less than an hour. The comedy material you DUmmies inadvertently provide is so fantastic that it writes itself.]


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