Tuesday, November 30, 2004

DUmmie FUnnies 11-30-04 AM Edition ("Anyone else disappointed by Michael Moore on Leno tonight?")

The DUmmies are in an uproar of despair. Their erstwhile hero, Michael Moore, has appeared on the Jay Leno show and appears to have deserted them, especially on the vote fraud issue since Jabba the Shmuck accepts the fact that Bush (GASP! SHOCK!) actually won the election. There are several DUmmie conspiracy theories on this Dummie THREAD titled, “Anyone else disappointed by Michael Moore on Leno tonight?” as to why Moore appears to have betrayed them but my own theory is that the Evil Republicans threatened to cut off his pizza supply if he didn’t change his ways. The DUmmie screechings at the “turncoat” Moore are in Bolshevik Red and the comments of your humble correspondent, feasting at the buffet table of DUmmie Despair, are in the [brackets]:

Anyone else disappointed by Michael Moore on Leno tonight? He seems really 'off.' So far it looks like he's missed a real opportunity to throw some good hits at bush and it feels really awkward. Really disappointing.

[Yes, it was disappointing. I was hoping that Moore would read me an excerpt from “My Pet Goat” while I was munching on my midnight snack of a large pizza just before I nodded off to sleep.]

Death threats. That's all I can think of.

[Much worse. The right-wingers threatened to cut off his pizza supply.]

scary shit. i think he had some Kool-Aid.

[A gallon of Kool-Aid to wash down two extra large pizzas that Moore had for brunch.]

That's what we'd all look like if we tried to find the "common ground" in this country----downright FOOLISH

[To look like that you would need to add on 200 pounds of very ugly fat.]

He dressed like a converted repug and he spit out garbage. Death threats or threats of imprisonment!

[Yes, Moore was definitely threatened with the incarceration of his pizzas.]

I never thought he would be such a sell out. Yeah * got more votes but he STOLE THEM. and not one f*ckin word from Moore. Kiss my ass MM. I tried to email him to let him know but his site doesn't seem to have a contact.

[Try emailing Pizza Hut.]

I don't....I think just like his outfit tonite, its all a "facade" and he's playing and f*cking with the minds of the Repukes and Moralistic Mightier than thou America....

[Great idea! Gain the confidence of Republicans so as to be invited into their homes…..and then RAID their refrigerators!]

I believe that coming in on a talk show, making an election fraud stir, Michael Moore's looks and demeanor in a very difficult time is that he did the very best he could to not have himself and the phenomenal body of his work suddenly invalidated.

[Yes, Moore wouldn’t want to invalidate his phenomenal body.]

It may be strategically beneficial for him to create the image of resignation; of an extinguished flame - however, it's very possible that he is simply not responding well to the devastation that accompanies the knowledge that, fraud exposure or not, Bush will maintain power at any cost.

[Moore needs to learn how to cope with election loss from the DUmmies and promulgate wild election fraud theories based on surmise.]

I am presuming that his ultimate goal is still to bring back Democraty and end the War. This could not have been changed overnight. In the next few months we will probably see him trying different cloths style. As for his words, or lack of words about the electoral Fraud, I did not expect him to say anything about it. He did his share during the campaign. Right now a lot of people are working underground to expose it and he was probably told to wait for others to come forward about it.

[Maybe Moore is providing camera equipment to Bev Harris to film her vote fraud documentary.]

He was very different. I kept waiting for him to unload on dubby, but he never did.
It really look like someone got to him. Slight possibility of depression and giving up the ghost. Shaven and dressed in a suit. That would be fine, but he really seemed subdued.

[Moore was mourning the recent demise of his beloved Canadian bacon pizza which was destroyed by his highly acidic gastric juices.]

Didn't he get teams of videographers to document the stealing of the 2004 election? We haven't seen ANYTHING yet.

[Bev Harris has that angle covered. And don’t forget to send her even more money. NOW!]

I think he's just lulling the Repukes into complacency and not making waves. Like how Kerry's been quiet, and how things in Ohio and Florida and who knows where else are going forward.

[Yes, Kerry is sending out very subtle secret code to his DUmmie troops to continue wallowing in the vote fraud scam. The secret code is so subtle that only an elite few can interpret it. Hang tight. Help is on the way!]

Neither Moore nor Kerry have any secret plans, and it's just delusional wishful thinking to harbor thoughts that they do. Even Bev Harris has said that Kerry's lawyers just stood by and did nothing, and had the gall to claim that blackboxvoting.org was just there "to make trouble".

The only thing I have to look forward to in January will be when reality finally kicks in, and people are forced to admit to themselves that Kerry & Co. had no secret strategy, and just caved in. Then we'll finally be able to get to the important task of trying to find some Dems with a spine to run in '06 and '08....and make sure these votes are counted, instead of trusting anyone involved with the DNC with our donations and hopes. Because it's becoming increasingly clear that these bozos have no intention of fighting to get the votes counted, the way Gore did.

[NO! Kerry DOES have a secret plan. Just look for the subtle nuances in the way he adjusts his tie. It contains complete marching instructions for the DUmmie troops. As for Moore, look at the the pizza sauce stains on his shirt. The stain designs contain secret messages as well.]

As to "Bush got more votes", he may be one of those folk who are not convinced there was voter fraud, etc. He may actually feel Bush actually WAS elected by a majority -- which is JUST as scary as stealing the election.

[SCARY! How could Moore NOT believe there was election fraud when the overwhelming body of surmise and speculation says there was?]

I have just as much hope as the next person that the fraud is exposed, that we all live happily ever after, but I am getting tired of everything being viewed as if there is a secret meaning behind it.

[But they do! THEY DO! Look for the secret messages subtly hidden in the pizza sauce stain configurations on Moore’s shirt.]

The mob at the RNC who stood up and chanted at him, "four more years" after John Mc Cain's "disingenuous filmaker" comment. The hate was palpable. It was freaky and I can only imagine MM has nightmares about that now.

[Yes. Moore sobbed fearful tears into his stack of pizzas.]

I don't think he's taken a day off in the last three years, certainly not since the election. I wish he'd take my advice and just go snorkelling in Hawaii for a few weeks.

[Michael Moore decked out for a day of snorkeling? What a SEXY sight that would be!]

I don't know if I can express this very well. Democrats played by the rules, straight up, and people poured everything they had into this. They cheated. Whether anyone can "prove" they cheated or not is irrelevant, we know they cheated. That ends any obligation that liberals and Democrats have to play the rigged game any more. Now we are free to innovate, to get creative, to confuse the hell out of them, to try a variety of things and see what "takes" and what works. No worrying about the reputation of the party or the image of liberals anymore. So long as Democrats were trapped in a rigged game, it was hopeless. Now there is a lot of freedom, and I think Michael is taking advantage of that.

[FREE AT LAST! FREE AT LAST! THANK GOD ALMIGHTY, WE ARE FREE AT LAST! And we are now FREE to CHEAT at the elections and practice vote fraud in the future! It isn’t important that we can prove vote fraud by the Republicans because we already KNOW they cheated!]

Monday, November 29, 2004

DUmmie FUnnies 11-29-04 AM Edition ("When and how does the Revolution start?")

In this edition of the DUmmie FUnnies the DUmmies can’t figure out why people aren’t rioting in the streets over vote fraud. Uhh….Maybe it might have to do with total lack of evidence of vote fraud. However, that minor technicality doesn’t stop the DUmmies from hoping for the coming Revolution as you can see in this THREAD titled, “When and how does the Revolution start?” As usual, the DUmmie yearnings for a Revolution are in Bolshevik Red while the comments of humble counter-revolutionary correspondent are in the [brackets]:

When and how does the Revolution start? I'm going for a bike ride for a couple of hours. Please fill me in when I get back. So where do we start?

[The Revolution starts at the Ben & Jerry’s Ice Cream shop right after the regularly scheduled Transcendental Meditation Workshop where we are learning to visualize our own reality of a Kerry victory.]

November 3, but we blew it. We sat down to our computers and blogged instead of marched. The Ukranians knew what to do. We just froze like deers in the headlights.

[Of course, not a chance that you might have blown it on November 2? The actual Election Day?]

What makes us more compliant than the Ukranians? And isn't it amazingly ironic how OUR government supported the claim of election fraud? Perhaps by doing that, they'd siphon off some of the anger right here. I'm wondering what our next step is though.

[Move to the Ukraine where that actually did have REAL vote fraud, not the fantasy stuff?]

Seems like all the protests and marches to date have had the response:

"Bush rules that out!"

He is in his Father's bubble and well-protected from results. You could think of him as the actual embodiment of the Radical Relgious Right's ultimate idol, the fetus -- safe and warm in an endless political womb. His umbliical is connected to the Neoconic body.

In other words, the response has been to ignore protests whether they are local or Worldwide. Only a representational government would be subject to the People's protest.

Protesting has its values like creating solidarity or trumpeting the message(s), but the media is hermitically sealed, so that only has a impact on the locale in which the protest occurs in today's America.

[It’s nice to know that the DUmmies are like a fetus – safe and warm in an endless fantasy womb.]

Don't know but whenever it starts..Media needs under Control First ! Otherwise it will never be shown ! How odd. Americans are so spoiled ...The only way revolt would take place is if they cancelled Nascar or the Apprentice or NFL ! People live in a dream world. My dreams were shattered last week and yes I blame Bush and the republicans for that too..Sunset on firearms ! People had better wake up !

[Talk about living in a dream…But maybe you can live out your dream and cancel the Rush Limbaugh, Laura Ingraham, and Sean Hannity radio shows.]

You did hear of twelve workers in OH who were arrested for picketing last night, didn't you?


What about the mass demonstration in DC by the AFL-CIO.


The rushing of the state house in Columbus?

[Like the storming of the Winter Palace? Didn’t hear of that either.]

It has started... truly, but you really have to pay very close attention... some has been reported (the workers last night, trying to portray then as thughs, and that is the other shoe droping by the way) Others have not

[Start the Revolution without me. I’m too busy channeling my energy for an upcoming Moronic Convergence in Columbus this weekend.]

Tanks in LA, I mean I am sure that was on CNN all day...

[Cossack hordes in Santa Monica!]

Shhh, pay attention, it is right under the surface... and like any other civil war or revolution it is slowly heating up.

[If a Revolution starts in the forest does it make a sound if there is no one there to hear it?]

start by recognizing that we are a corporate-controlled nation, and that even more so than the GOP, corporate power is the enemy of the people. Then boycott all non-essentials. Yes, you have to eat, but you can make socially conscious choices in where you buy your food.

[Oh, Mr. Commissar! Can I still eat at Checkers? I really love their new Pizza Burgers and for me it IS an essential.]

Do you really need to buy crap for christmas gifts? Do you really need the newest cd/dvd/game on the market? One step at a time, think about what you buy, what you support, what you can do without in helping to undercut corporate power by simply Not Buying It.

[How about that Grand Theft Auto video game? There will be a revolkution by some of my relatives if I don’t but it for them.]

Had we of taken to the streets, right after the election, things would have been a lot different now. But we had to have Kerry as a leader.

We had plenty of press, foreign and domestic that would have covered it. We had plenty of foreign observers here, that would have been on our side. We would have had foreign leaders on our side.

We didn't do anything huge, because of Kerry bowing out. That and all the rumors, that something big was happening behind the scenes by the Kerry camp. That kept a lot of us quiet.

[There IS something happening behind the scenes by the Kerry camp! Haven’t you heard of the Kerry ’08 campaign? Please make your contribution to Kerry ’08 Campaign Fund. Kerry needs it because his $45 million only goes so far.]

We may need TWO revolutions. One that begins immediately in an effort to shut down the current power mongers, and one that is designed to position liberals/progressives/Democratics to fill the power vacuum that will arise should the first revolution be successful.

[And of course, you personally, Dummie demwing, will be one of the power elites that will take control of power. All that other stuff of being mere proletarian workers is just for the shmoes.]

We need two revolutions, or at least a two pronged revolution. One that attacks the powers that oppress, and one that unites the oppressed.

[Two revolutions. First the Winter Revolt followed the Bolshevik Revolution.]

Don't wait for the TV or your friends to tell you because, as suggested, the Revolution will not be Televised. Live it by doing what you can when you can. Don't buy what you don't need. Don't buy what you merely want. Send the word out to like minds. Participate where you can when you can. Some of us have to travel to the fight (I'm going to OH from NC to participate in recounts). But some people can't take 5 or 10 days off work. So put up posters, send news stories, write your representative and the local papers. And if there is a mass protests to join, join it. Take a damp bandanna (for covering your face in case of tear gas) and a disposable camera (so you won't lose your good one if the cops decide to smash it) Wear a thick jacket, thick jeans and tennis shoes. Leave your ID, your jewelry and glasses at home if you can.

[Cry ‘Havoc’ and let slip the Dogs of War; That this foul deed shall smell above the earth, With carrion men groaning for burial!]

Who is your mayor, who are your city councilmen? These are people who you can generally talk to, and make an impression on if you can articulate concerns. Even party hacks will bend if they know what the people they live among and represent expect. If your town is run by people who don't give a damn about you, find out who ran against them last time. Organize an opposition.

[“Hi Mr. Councilman! Would you be interested in helping us shut down all the city services to oder to bring about the Revolution?”]

DUmmie FUnnies 11-28-04 PM Edition ("Jesse Jackson Latest News...")

The Dummies are now overjoyed that the Revvvvreeeend Jesse Jackson has taken up the cause of vote fraud in Ohio. This is most interesting because recently Jackson accepted the Ohio results. So why the turnaround? Most likely because the Shakedown Artist has seen Bev Harris rake in some serious bucks promulgating the vote fraud scam on the suckers and he wants in on the action. The DUmmies themselves are crying for joy at the prospect of their new ally joining their lost cause as you can see in this THREAD titled, “Jesse Jackson Latest News as of 11/28/04 at 7:10pm CST”. How DESPERATE the DUmmies have become when they celebrate jubilantly over a mere allegation of surmised vote fraud (with NO real evidence). So let us now join the DUmmie Jubilee now in progress. As usual the DUmmie detachments from reality are in Bolshevik Red while the bemused commentary of your humble correspondent is in the [brackets]:


Columbus, Ohio

"Jesse Jackson spoke in Ohio at large African-American church. At a press conference before the rally in which the lead attorney openly stated that they discovered the method by which the election in Ohio was rigged for G.W. Bush. As many as 65,000 votes were lifted from the Kerry column to the Bush column. Discovered from looking at a parallel race (Connally). Democratic Supreme Court justice ended up getting more votes than Kerry did. Attorneys are surmising that the only way this could have happened is if votes were lifted from Kerry to Bush. They have the actual vote counts. They consider this prima facia evidence."

[Actually is prima facetious evidence.]

Can ya Feel IT? Can Ya Feel It In The Air? THINGS ARE STARTIN TO HAPPEN PEOPLE, IT IS JUST A MATTER OF TIME! Today is the most motivating day for me yet. This coming week is going to be a week to remember, REALITY SAYS SO

[HALLELUJAH! I BEEEEELEEEEVE! I FEEEEEEEEL IT! I am soooooo excited that a warm gushing flow has soaked my diaper!]

But where is the media? I haven't seen it anywhere. Jesse is the truth!

[Jesse is the Way, the Truth, and the Blight!]

can't feel it at all... I'm sorry, I wish I could, but I've had my hopes DASHED on so many stories over the past 4 years. I've seen SO many posts identical to yours that I can't even count them any more. BELIEVE ME, I'm hoping you're right, and I certainly don't begrudge you your optimism, but I just can't feel it.

[You MUST BEEEEEELEEEEEEVE! Jesse has arrived in the Mother Ship to bring GOOD TIDINGS for us all. This is the GREATEST DAY in all of history!]

There's something happening here... What it is ain't exactly clear...

[What is happening is that 10,000 suckers have been born in a minute. A truly momentous event!]

This is what I like -- all of this positive energy is very promising. Nothing great is every accomplished easily, and this struggle is very much an example of that. This has got to be the big one. Somethings gotta give people. Maybe the emerging evidence and stuff like this is why Rice's confirmation hearing has been postponed? Speculation...?

[Maybe it is why the Apocalypse has been postponed? Speculation…?

However this story ends, I want to tell my grand children that I did every thing possible to make this world a better place. What we do here and what we say here is a piece, no matter how small,of the history of the Election of 2004.

[BWAAAAA!!!! I just wanna cry tears of joy after reading that. What say we go on a Drama Queen tour of dinner theaters throughout the land?]

Are we finally getting to the smoking gun that everyone seems to need?

[The Smoking Gun is on the Grassy Knoll hidden underneath the Tinfoil Hat.]

I dedicated the church service to Rev. Jackson and all who work for justice and accountablity in elections today. (I'm an intern minister at a UU church.) Was pleased to see many people in the pews nodding in knowing understanding. People know what's going down.

[I dedicated my Santeria service to Rev. Jackson by lopping off a dozen chicken heads and dancing wildly on their entrails.]

First Davis said they KNOW how the election was rigged -- then when asked do they have evidence or are just surmising -- it became more of a surmise...

[WOO! HOO! Surmise is EVEN BETTER than boring evidence! Do you FEEEEEL the John Kerry inauguration coming this January? With this surmise, the visualization of my own reality is becoming even more clear!]

Wow! Do they have proof of this?

[Of course not. They have SURMISE which is EVEN BETTER than proof!]

It is unclear from the interview -- when asked he retorted that the attorneys are surmising that votes were shifted. From the interview, it could be taken one of two ways -- either the attorneys have evidence of vote fraud or that they are surmising that votes were switched.

[All constitutional lawyers know that the mere appearance of surmised vote fraud is grounds for IMPEACHMENT!!!]

If they could prove it, I bet it will be more than that. I think it would in fact put Kerry in the White House.

[Of course they can prove this surmised vote fraud. After all, Jesse Jackson is promoting this and his integrity is IMPECCABLE!]

Ohhh this is nice.... we've come so far haven't we? Are we going to see a big week with this or what?!!? I'm so happy that Jesse Jackson is getting this out. And that he's probably contacting Kerry saying 'what's next boss?'. This is good, real good. Democracy is moving and we all need to get on the train.

[Ohhhhh….. I am SWOONING at the news of this allegation of surmised vote fraud! Ohhhh….]

Sunday, November 28, 2004

DUmmie FUnnies 11-28-04 AM Edition ("LA Times: Turk Compares U.S. to Hitler")

First we see an excerpt of an article in the L.A. Times by some Turkish official comparing the U.S. unfavorably to Hitler. What follows is general DUmmie concurrence with this article. You can read all about it in this DUmmie THREAD. Just when you think the DUmmies couldn’t get any loonier, they up and toss themselves off the cliff of rationality. As usual, the loony left DUmmie posts are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent is in the [brackets]:

ANKARA, Turkey — The head of Turkey's parliamentary human rights group has accused Washington of genocide in Iraq and behaving worse than Adolf Hitler, in remarks that underscore the depth of Turkish opposition to U.S. policy in the region

"Never in human history have such genocide and cruelty been witnessed. Such a genocide was never seen in the time of the pharaohs nor of Hitler nor of Mussolini," Italy's World War II-era fascist leader, Elkatmis said.

[That was the excerpt from the article and now for the DUmmie response.]

Please world speak out because we have no voice.

In Amerika, one of our Media whores had the nerve to say that they looked for a soldier to talk in a negative way about the war and they could not find one. I'm sure they could not find one to talk on TV.

This war has got to end and the rest of the world will have to speak out and say that we have broken every rule in the book.

The Hague is too good for this jokers!

[A DUmmie wants “revolutionary justice” for the leaders of “Amerika.”]

This is the start, I am afraid, of an avalanche of charges against us. We're screwed in the world period. But of course, we don't need the world, do we? Oh, no, not our allies, not "old Europe," not the only country in the ME that supports us. No, we're special or as they say, the voters support the notion of "American Exceptionalism."

[An example of “DUmmie Exceptionalism.” Exceptionally stupid.]

There're just too many things identical between the Busholinis and the Fascists of the 20th century to ignore. The Nazis and Italian Fascists exploited regional animosities. The Bavarians were the "South" of Germany; Sicily was the "South" of Italy. These regions were the heart of the "anti-intellectual" movement. The Nazis and Italian Fascists exploited religious animosities. Catholics were, in both countries, long habituated to a "siege mentality" as political control and societal control was eroded by Protestantism and secualrism. Both countries demonized homosexuals and Gypsies.

[This DUmmie has a hangup on the “South.” Too bad for his dopey “South” theory that Sicily was the most ANTI-Mussolini section of Italy.]

Since George W Chimp is now the Reich's Chancellor, we may be entering upon a new era of 21 Cent Warsaw Ghettos - so that Democracy continues on the march. Not since LBJ and Nixon have we inflicted so much death and misery abroad. Maybe we'll have a Stalingrad or two while we are at it.

[It is obvious that your brain has already had a Stalingrad.]

Bush may surpass Hitler, Stalin and Mussolini by the time he's through.

[Thus spaketh the Chairman of the Department of Hyperbole.]

The only thing missing in our case is the deliberate torturing. But all in all, it's not so farfetched that when all this is through, there will be more than or equal to the number of casualties resulting from Hitler's reign. God if only someone could say that to Bush. I really sit here and wonder, what the hell would he think if someone told him that?

[The only thing missing is your sanity.]

Yes, but Hitler could write a book, bush can't even read one.

[We can read your posts, DUmmie, and shudder at the illogic.]

At least Hitler was honest about what he was doing, the US "pretends" to be working for Iraqis' freedom and democracy. Of course, we have to kill most of them before they get the message and certainly it is really helpful to utterly destroy their beautiful architecture and infrastructure, make sure they have little clean water, little electricity, and few hospitals to care for their war wounded civilians. We are doing just great!!

[A DUmmie who prefers the “integrity” of the honest Hitler.]

"Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee" opened my eyes to the reality that my government couldn't always be trusted to do the right thing and that it is every American's responsibility to see that justice prevails.

[I am looking forward to reading your autobiography: “Bury My Brain at Wounded Knee.”

The point is that you want to catch shrub before he descends into the lunacy that would eventually be on par with Hitler. He is fully capable of it and that is what people mean when they compare b*sh to hitler - only that he is capable of killing millions of people if he is not checked. He is steadily working on it.

[Your brain must also be buried at Wounded Knee.]

To compare b*sh to the full-blown genocidal Hitler near the end of WWII is patently ridiculous. To compare him to the early, emergent Hitler is quite appropriate, however.

[An example of DUmmie fairness. This DUmmie thinks it ridiculous to compare Bush to the later Hitler but perfectly fair to make the comparison to the early Hitler.]

prior to the war i was listening to a radio program about that area of the world, an interview with a long term journalist who seemed to have a detached, professional approach to the job....saddam was no more, or less, ruthless then he had to be to survive, and the same was true about most of the leadership in that area...the journalist went on to say, and this was quite jarring when spoken aloud, was that the local political gangsters who held sway in the area around iraq looked with amazement upon the west, britain and US mainly, because the level of western depravity was at times almost unlimited...they didn't fear or respect the west so much as consider it a mindless force that needed no reasoning to do anything, which sometimes was good but just as often beyond anyone's belief (i'm paraphrasing what the journo said, so you must take this with grain of salt)...it struck me that we think of ourselves as the height of civilized behavior, yet the 'hard men' as that journalist called the saddams of the area, thought we were so depraved even they were often shocked by what our people did...

[SNIFF! Saddam, we hardly knew ye. A misunderstood bulwark against Western depravity. Only in DUmmieland (and maybe the UN) is there this topsy-turvy view of the world. Bush worse than Hitler and Saddam Hussein a misunderstood soul shocked by Western depravity.]

Saturday, November 27, 2004

DUmmie FUnnies 11-27-04 ("Alright - Am I the only DU'er who thinks Kerry actually lost?")

The most entertaining thing about the DUmmies since the election is the fact that most of them CAN’T accept the election results. So desperate are the DUmmies to overturn the election results that they gladly pour money into the coffers of a con artist who is using their dough to stay at plus hotels and pay for the filming of her own vote fraud documentary which she plans to market for buku bucks. Take a look at the DUmmie “Voting Issues” section of the forum and you can see how the DUmmies are doing everything to avoid reality by organizing “vote fraud” task forces with all kinds of projects for the busy DUmmie Worker Ants under the aegis of “DU VOTE FRAUD TEAM TASKS FOR…” Then the various tasks are assigned: “Crunchers…Statistical Analysis,” “Legal Eagles,” “Web Wizards,” Hounders…e-mailing letters, etc.” Plus MANY other such tasks. Talk about an exercise in futility but perhaps it serves the purpose of keeping the DUmmie Worker Ants too busy to face the horrifying reality of the impending Bush Inauguration. However, there are a few DUmmie skeptics to such activities such as DUmmie liberalpragmatist who has pragmatically posted this ?THREAD titled, “Alright - Am I the only DU'er who thinks Kerry actually lost?” Suprisingly there were a few fellow DUmmies who actually believed this heresy. So sit back, relax, and enjoy the spectacle of DUmmies arguing if John Kerry actually lost the election. As usual, the DUmmie rantings are in Bolshevik Red while the comments of your humble correspondent are in the [brackets]:

Alright - Am I the only DU'er who thinks Kerry actually lost?

[Probably not, DUmmie liberalpragmatist, but you are the first DUmmie to actually admit to such a bizarre heresy.]

I'm a huge Kerry fan and there were definitely irregularities in Ohio. Still, while I fully favor a recount and the full counting of provisional ballots (what's the harm in counting the votes) as well as investigating allegations of fraud, frankly, I just don't think the votes are there. BBV definitely should be investigated and we need to get a verifiable paper-trail in place.

[I agree, DUmmie liberalpragmatist. BBV should definitely be investigated. Bev Harris filed that organization as a non-partisan, non-profit organization with the IRS and yet she is using the donations to film a documentary about “vote fraud” that she hopes to market for Buku Bucks.]

It's also very possible that more Ohioans intended to vote for Kerry but were turned away b/c of lines that were too long.

[Obviously you are lacking in proper respect for DUmmie Holy Writ, DUmmie liberalpragmatist. An intent to vote is the SAME as a vote. Let ALL the intentional votes be counted.]

All this being said, nothing I have read indicates to me that the outcome can change. It will not. At the end of they, I'm sorry, I have to believe, as heartbreaking as it is for me, that George W. Bush got more votes that John Kerry in Ohio and Florida. This isn't a 538-vote difference; this is a 130,000-vote difference. I'm sorry, the numbers just don't bear our a Kerry victory.

[The bigger the vote margin the bigger the vote fraud perpetrated by Karl Rove. The numbers bear out a vote fraud of huge proportions.]

I'm getting a little annoyed at the constant carping on any strategy thread about how Kerry didn't lose - we will destroy ourselves if we singlemindedly keep telling ourselves he didn't. Yes, there were serious problems in voting that need to be corrected, but those alone will not win us an election.

[And I am quite amused at the constant carping on any strategy thread about how Kerry didn’t lose. Are you trying to destroy my entertainment source, DUmmie liberalpragmatist?]

There's no justification for a suicide campaign - and that's what a defiant Kerry nonconcession would be. We would probably STILL lose, and we'd be branded sore losers. The Democratic Party would be destroyed. The country would be even more against us.

[My mouth is watering at the prospect, DUmmie liberalpragmatist.]

I do agree with your point that is totally different from Florida in 2000 though and with that, I do see your point about Kerry being right to concede.

[And another DUmmie agrees with DUmmie liberal pragmatist. This heresy in DUmmieland MUST BE SUPRESSED!!!]

I was really looking forward to a Kerry presidency and I still find myself often just shaking my head in disbelief. But I can't be in denial. I would love to believe all the theories about Kerry actually winning, but while it interests me and I read all that I can about it, I just in the end, cannot bring myself to believe that he actually won. None of the math adds up.

[The math DOES add up, DUmmie liberalpragmatist. See, a professor at UC Berkeley used statistical equations to PROVE that Kerry won in Ohio. That’s good enough for me!]

Barring an Ukraine-style protest movement, we're STUCK with that smirking, strutting Chimp, for the next 4 years. So it's absolutely NECESSARY to know what we're up against --- and plan suitable measures with the means available. That's OUR Mandate.

[That’s your NIGHTMARE, DUmmie pnorman.]

I think he lost unfairly, but I can't prove it.

[AHA! The fact that you can’t prove it just shows how cleverly Karl Rove perpetrated vote fraud!]

The Exit Polls were right and the vote was rigged.

[And everybody knows the exit polls always take precedent over the actual vote count.]

The level of denial enforced around here is pretty amazing.

[True but it sure makes for some great comedy material.]

The provisional count in OH has given me closure. This election is over for me at least.

[But those provisional votes are only actual votes. When the intentional votes are counted, Kerry WILL win because more Ohio voters INTENDED to vote for him.]

Thursday, November 25, 2004

DUmmie FUnnies Thanksgiving Edition ("No Thanksgiving This Year")

In this special Thanksgiving Edition of the DUmmie FUnnies we shall observe how the DUmmies celebrate, or rather NOT celebrate, Thanksgiving this year. As you can see in this DUmmie THREAD titled, “No Thanksgiving This Year,” the DUmmies, with a few exceptions, are refraining from celebrating the holiday this year. As usual, the hungry comments of the DUmmies angrily glaring at the Thanksgiving tables they will not sit at are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, stuffing himself with turkey and all the trimmings, is in the [brackets]:

No Thanksgiving This Year…

[Speak for yourself, Dummie 5X.]

The celebration of the fall harvest and in some areas an almost religous giving of thanks does not quite seem appropriate this year. The harvest this year consists of war dead, civilians and soldiers, fascism and corporatism instead of democracy, and four more years of huge profits for friends of george. I won't be celebrating thanksgiving or any other holidays this year but instead will avoid any shopping except for necessities. I will be actively boycotting republican owned and supporting businesses. I will speak out when ever possible against the war and the theft of our democracy. This will be my gift to family and friends for this
holiday season.

[Since you won’t be eating any Thanksgiving dinners this year, DUmmie 5X, wouldn’t that mean you would need to downsize your name to 4X?]

We stopped celebrating any holidays religious or otherwise after the 2000 coup by the bushit crime family. This will continue as long as a single repuke lives!!!

[Welcome to an eternity of holiday boycotts!]

The Christian Reconstructionists applaud your decision. One of their minor issues (beneath the subjugation of women & the return of slavery) is the abolition of the Godless Popish/Pagan holidays. Which means nearly all of them.

[Hmm…. Methinks you are thinking of the Jehovah Witnesses but since those folks don’t vote nor participate in public affairs in any way, your angry thrust is a bit moot.]

I am thankful that my husband was able to find work within a week after being laid-off. I am thankful that I am able to attend college full-time. I am thankful for my family and for my health. I am thankful for my 4 cockatiels and my cat. I am thankful for having such generous friends who help us at the drop of a hat. I am thankful we can pay the bills and aren't drowning in debt anymore. I am thankful that I can finally afford to buy christmas presents for my family. I am thankful for my marriage and my husband. I am thankful for everything I have. Thank Goddess and God for giving these to me.

[Your reverent praise of the Twin Deities is quite touching.]

I don't see the point in celebrating two of the most over indulgent holidays of the year. While our troops are away from their families and malnutrition among Iraqi children has doubled since the war of aggression started, I really don't feel too festive.

[And yet if Kerry won you would now be stuffing your face with turkey and trimmings. See, Bush has done some good for you after all. It is because of him you won’t be suffering from the typical holiday weight gain.]

I can't give up the holidays. My Democratic family and I need some cheering up. However, I still plan to actively participate in demonstrations about the stolen vote. RedefeatBush.com has a counter-inauguration planned.

[Your Counter-Inaugural Ball tickets are in the mail.]

Holidays have never really been important to us. They are just pagan rituals..

[Your Goddess will be VERY ANGRY with you.]

Postponing Thanksgiving Fest 'till there is a recount, the rightfully elected president sits at the oval office, fascism is ebbing and sanity has returned to our democracy, or until GWB and his goons are out of office!

[Psst! Come around to my back door and I’ll have a few slices of turkey available for you in the doggie bag.]

Honestly, I think the freepers would be just thrilled if they thought they had ruined even family holidays for us. Not gonna let that happen. I still have plenty to be thankful for. Pass the eggnog please.

[Hmmm…. Should I allow you to have a Thanksgiving? Okay, I won’t ruin it for you just this one time. Happy Thanksgiving, DUmmie!]

DUmmie FUnnies 11-24-04 PM Edition ("JOHN KERRY has to contest this election IMMEDIATELY...")

Like Snow White yearning for her Prince to come, the despondent Dummies are hoping for John Kerry to come to the rescue and save them from another four years of the Bush Fascist regime by challenging the election results in Ohio. They think that Kerry has been sending them subtle hints for the past couple of weeks that the DUmmies have been latching onto. Every Kerry statement is examined carefully for secret coded messages to the “troops.” However, it is now dawning upong them that cheapskate Kerry isn’t going to spend a cent of the millions of campaign funds he hoarded away in order to challenge the election results. You can see the DUmmie pleading in this hilarious THREAD titled, “JOHN KERRY has to contest this election IMMEDIATELY, or all is lost!” As usual the desperate Dummie pleadings for their Prince to save them are in Bolshevik Red while the comments of your humble correspondent, amused by DUmmie despondency, are in the [brackets]:

JOHN KERRY has to contest this election IMMEDIATELY, or all is lost!

[Psst! All is lost. Oh, and a contribution to the Kerry ’08 Presidential Campaign Fund would be greatly appreciated.]

Enough with the subtle approach!! It isn't working. We are being stonewalled! Kerry/Edwards have the resources to open this thing up NOW! It can't be successfully done without them! Bev Harris, Nader, the Greens, the Ohio Democratic Party, and many others on this board have broken the ice for them - now it's time for them to close the deal and live up to their "every vote will count" promise. If Kerry got more votes, but Bush is allowed to assume office, then NONE of the 50 some odd million votes counted! NONE!!

[Have you considered the bizarre notion that maybe, just maybe, Bush got more votes?]

This cannot be tolerated! This will be the second presidential election in a row stolen by this administration. If Bush is simply allowed to assume office, and the fraud is revealed some time later - Bush cannot be removed from office without impeachment - and the GOP/Delay controlled Congress will NEVER ever impeach him! These thugs will also NEVER pass legislation abolishing their new ticket to rigging EVERY election in their favor!

[On the up side, your contributions to Bev Harris will go a long way to help her in producing a vote fraud documentary. At least she will come out ahead.]

I am anything but a defeatist, and I'm sorry to be coming off as such an alarmist, but there is simply no other way for justice to prevail here. This may be our last shot as restoring democracy to this country for generations! Kerry (whom I've always admired) MUST take a Gore-like stance NOW! The fraud in this election absolutely DWARFS 2000! Yes, we all know that Kerry will be "Gored" by the corporate press! So what? The majority of Americans actually voted for Kerry, and will approve of his challenge. Remember, Gore challenged - and actually would have had Bush beat on the recount, had the Supreme Court not stepped in in such an outrageously desperate fashion!

[Is getting Gored worse than being Borked?]

It is very debatable whether or not this country can possibly survive 4 more years of this administration - endless wars, bottomless debt, right-wing Supreme Court justices, the environment destroyed... What are we all waiting for? What are KERRY/EDWARDS waiting for? These are two bright, powerful warriors - and this is THEIR moment in history!! This is OUR moment! Where are we - the alleged "greatest" country on earth, when our precious democracy is being threatened?

[Where are we? Tomorrow sitting around the Thanksgiving table. Then later sitting in front of the tube watching football games and film festivals and wishing we didn’t eat so much turkey and stuffing.]

If Kerry doesn't unconcede, he should be strung up by his toenails.

[Like Mussolini? But to make this image complete wouldn’t we also need to string up Kerry’s mistress by her toenails as well?]

that is the conclusion i just came to today. we are nowhere without Kerry leading.

[Some day my prince will come

Some day we'll meet again

And away to his castle we'll go

To be happy forever I know. ]

He knows it was stolen, he knows what they did and he does nothing. He worries that the media will focus on the 10 dead guys that voted for him illegally and that that will tarnish the party. F*ck the party, I'm sorry, I'm feeling dissed as hell. I feel electorically raped and sodomized.

[Some day when spring is here

We'll find our love anew

And the birds will sing

And wedding bells will ring

Some day when my dreams come true.]

Edwards is the one that said on the "black day of concession" that they (Kerry/Edwards) were going to make sure every vote was counted.


NOW I'm really starting to get the blue funk again.


I feel like I got stabbed in the back. I contributed hundreds of dollars to his campaign - something I've never done before! - & he tells me to work with Bushco? I hope against hope that Kerry is working fervently in the background on the fraud issue, but I have a hard time believing it.

[Perhaps it would make you feel better if you contribute hundreds of dollars more to the Bev Harris Vote Fraud Documentary Movie Fund. As one of the fund donors you will get a 10% ticket discount when this film appears at your local theater.]

I'm disappointed, upset, and pissed off. I don't know what to believe or who to trust.

[Psst! You can trust Bev Harris. Send Bev money for her vote fraud movie project. Give until it hurts….And then give some more.]

Kerry left our backs exposed. It's too late for the back thing. He has 52 million for a recount fund and is NOT SPENDING A DIME of it. This will end his career for sure. I love his stand on issues, but does he stand?

[It’s too late for the back thing but is there still enough time for the tush thing?]

I hate reading this, but thanks for the wakeup call. So what can we do? Email or call him? Reach him through Chris Heinz? Contact him collectively as DU?

[You could try serenading his wind surfing board.]










Maybe we the people need to take this country back. There are how many millions of us, and like what, a thousand of them?


Kerry needs to keep contact. he needs to, in some way, let us know every once in a while that he is still behind the effort. ha, he should start posting on this board!!

[Some day my prince will come

Some day we'll meet again

And away to his castle we'll go

To be happy forever I know. ]

Kerry is way too nuanced for me. Now is not the time to be subtle. Time is running out. Have you read the Bev Harris post today?

[The post where Bev says Kerry needs to be as blatant as a buffalo fart?]

You're like a passenger on the Titanic trying hard not to overreact! Everything's just peachy, huh, CW? That "niggling concern" is only that OUR ENTIRE SHIP IS F*CKING SINKING - AND MANY OF US ARE ABOUT TO PERISH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Calm down. Leonardo DiCrapio perished on the Titanic but was that really a bad thing?]

It Will Be As If The Swifties Were Right that he cuts and runs on us. I don't want to think that!

[Good analogy. Even DUmmies can come up with a good analogy once every millennium or so.]

My Inner Bitch Is Waiting For The Shit To Hit The Fan. Just wait folks.....this is not going quietly into the night....the shit will hit the fan and soon....

[Your inner bitch will still be waiting out in the cold on Jan. 20. Oh, and stay away from fans.]

It's looking a little like the bottom of the ninth with at least one out.

[More like the bottom of the ninth with two outs, two strikes, and the Bush team ahead by a score of 136,000 to 0.]

I keep thinking about the end of Lord of the Rings where they decide to march on the Black Gate as a distraction because Frodo and Sam are already deep within Mordor, near where the One Ring was created...

[So Kerry and Edwards are going to march on the Black Gate as a distraction away from Frodo and Sam? That sounds like a reasonable plan to me!]

Wednesday, November 24, 2004

DUmmie FUnnies AM Edition 11-24-04 ("BEV! BBV!! WHAT IS GOING ON???")

From my lofty perch here in the 5th Dimension, peering down at the DUmmie mortals in your dimension, I am noticing a waning interest in DUmmieland over trying to overturn the election results. Perhaps one reason is that the Ohio Provision Ballot Vote Count has shown Bush maintaining his substantial lead over Kerry. Another reason is that a number of the slightly more rational DUmmies are beginning to suspect that much of this election fraud scam is being hyped up by Bev Harris in order to line her pockets with greenbacks sent in by desperate DUmmies seeking desperately for a way out of a second Bush term. It is amazing to see Bev Harris threatening to sue DUmmies for (GASP! SHOCK!) typing the words “Cleanup Crew” or the letters “BBV” on their keyboards. But a con artist knows how to stretch out the scam. And in Bev’s case it has to do with AMAZING REVELATIONS to come in the “Election Fraud Scandal.” Yes, she strung the Dummies along for a few days with a promise of a BIG REVELATION about vote fraud in Volusia County, FL to be revealed to the suckers on Nov. 23. And so what was the BIG REVELATION? Well, hold your breath, and read all about it here in this edition of the DUmmie FUnnies which features this DUmmie THREAD desperately titled, “BEV! BBV!! WHAT IS GOING ON???” As usual, the postings of the DUmmie suckers, easily parted from their money, are in Bolshevik Red while the comments of your humble correspondent, watching the latest chapter in the BBV scam with much amusement, are in the [brackets]:



Anyone have any clue as to what we can expect this "big development" to be? I don't see it on Blackboxvoting.org ?

[I can’t blame you for not seeing it. The promised 11/23 SHOCKING REVELATION for which DUmmie hearts were praying to overturn the election results turned out to be nothing but some lawsuit filed in Volusia County. But please send in your money to Bev. There will be some real SHOCKING REVELATIONS in the future. But first you MUST send MONEY!]

I know they are challenging the election results in Volusia County...

[PROOF OF FRAUD RIGHT THERE!!! Kerry is as good as INAUGURATED this Jan. 20. Oh, and send MONEY.]

That's the big development. They filed suit in Volusia.

[I’m so excited that my diaper is soaking at the prospect. Send MONEY.]

She said something about them filing suit in Volusia County accusing the director of posting election day results that don't match the actual count (assumption to be made that there are more for the Shrub than should be)

[A filed lawsuit means that the election results WILL be reversed in Florida. Send money.]

I think it's significant. Yes, we had a general statement from Bev that a quick glance over the numbers showed differences that seemed to favor Bush. But by now, Bev and friends have undoubtedly looked through all of the information carefully, and the good news is that they believe that what they found warrants a lawsuit.

[Plus it warrants another solicitation for funds.]

Bev was on CNN!

[Ooooh! And THAT proves election fraud! I get first crack at a dance with First Lady Teresa Heinz at the Jan. 20 Inauguration Ball.]

What's more likely is that we're going to have a long Thanksgiving weekend. People will be stuffed and sick of leftovers. Monday will come, and there will be something else to talk about...

[Shocking revelation of election fraud in Dixie County. Send funds!]

What's to look into--all CNN needs to do is show the video of Jeb's stooges putting out trashbags of original records (after giving Bev fakes) and the conclusion is obvious to anyone with half a brain. Which rules out the current White House occupant, of course.

[Trashbags! And they MUST contain election records! Case closed!]

HOW do YOU know that the GARBAGE wasn't just Garbage? Because someone told you that and you want to believe it so bad that you will..

[Garbage bags containing garbage? What an ABSURD concept!]

Do people REALLY want the media to mention that someone dug through garbage and "found" results? Don't you think that would make the whole movement look wacko or fringe?

[No problem there since the whole movement ALREADY looks wacko and fringe.]

Did SHE file a lawsuit? Nope. Can we get some Facts please instead of sheer PR?

[Of course Bev didn’t file the lawsuit. She needs to save her donated money to spend on important things like researching Vote Fraud from the harsh confines of plush hotel suites. And why am I suspecting deep skepticism in your above posts, DUmmie symbolman?]

But Symbolman left out the part where he forgot to solicit donations on the DU to cover travel expenses, meals, etc. to cover travelling all over the US to make the film and interview folks like Greg Palast, Danny Schechter, Jim Hightower, William Rivers Pitt, Janeane Garofalo, Theresa Lapore, all the candidates in New Hampshire, Avi Rubin, David Dill, Congressman Wexler, Cynthia McKinney, Kevin Shelley, Barbara Boxer, Don Siegelman, Larry Flynt, The Nation Magazine folks, Billionaires for Bush, League of Pissed Off Voters, disenfranchised felons, voters waiting in lines for 6 hours in Florida during election day... and many many others, plus take time to create many new animations... Oh, and Symbolman also left out the part where he forgot to threaten to sue the DU.

[GASP! Can there possibly be suspicious hints of con artistry by our Beloved Bev in Dummieland? And now let us hear from DUmmie symbolman again…]

…I don't want ANYONE to discredit the hard work SO MANY are doing with looks like to me a lot of grandstanding and PR to sell their future film - (Is she going to sell a film and is filming all this for that reason, for personal gain? Is that what's being funded with these donations? I'd really like to know that.)

Digging through garbage that may or may not have any results or impact may make for great storytelling or filmmaking, but when the media gets hold of it, we will ALL be marginalized.

I think some people here are out of control and wishing so hard for ANYTHING to change the election that they have lost all reason.

How about releasing the tapes, papers, whatever so that EVERYONE, including those here can crunch them or is this the very lack of transparency we complain about in the BUsh administration.

Handwritten lists of Democratic Pollwatchers? So what? Isn't everything documented? I mean, what do you mean when you say that?

There's an awful lot of context missing here..

[Also missing there, symbolman, is much hint of any rationality although you have been, surprisingly for a DUmmie, lapsing into it for a bit.]

Tuesday, November 23, 2004

DUmmie FUnnies 11-23-04 ("God Damn Bush...JUST god Damn him")

If anybody out there doubts that insane hatred of Bush is not a mental disease then just check out this DUmmie THREAD. Actually I hope that the Secret Service is also checking out this DUmmie Thread since some of those DUmmies are so unbalanced over the prospect of a second Bush term, there is no telling what they will do. It will be a tough day for these folks on January 20. I just hope they keep that phone number of the Suicide Hotline: 1-800-BUSH-WON. As usual, the insane DUmmie screechings are in Bolshevik Red while the comments of your humble correspondent, with tranquilizer darts at the ready, are in the [brackets]:

God Damn Bush...JUST god Damn him

there is nothing else to say. The man is a mother f*cking pig liar and I can NOT stand him anymore.

It is not wrong to hate your president. the repukes did for 8 years.

I hate that motherf*cker with a passion. I hope he is impeached and worse

[It is the “worse” part you mentioned, DUmmie greenbriar, that will likely land you on the SS watch list.]

I don't know how I am going to get through another term of lies, vanity wars and just plain old fashioned bullshit.

[Try to visualize your own reality. And when that doesn’t work, send more money than you can afford to Bev Harris to retroactively overthrow the election results sometime next year.]

Bush has condemned himself...his actions have already been condemned by millions around the world, and millions here. History will show him to be the complete failure he is.

[I know the folks on Saddam’s Oil for Food bribe list have condemned Bush.]

I am tired of waiting. I wish the dam would break and his lies would start unraveling.

I can not stand to see him one more minute.

his smug arrogant pompous ass is just tooo much.

and I am sooo afraid for our country

[Actually, Dummie greenbriar, I am afraid of you getting within a couple of miles of the President. You need to be watched…..CAREFULLY!]

I hate that motherf*cking monkey looking, dumb ass, f*cked up, election stealing son of a bitch...I hate him, I hate him, I hate him!!!

All you f*ckwads that voted for him, I hate all of you dipshits, too!!

F*ck the administration! F*ck the rethugs!!

I cannot believe what is going on in our country...

[This court hereby sentences DUmmie driver8 to undergo an Anger Management Program under the direction of Dr. Buddy Rydell.]

Goddam bush* and everyone who voted for him!

[There will be an empty anchor chair soon at CBS for which you seem eminently qualified to fill.]

If we were not read by people that would harm me, I would say a bunch more

[You’ve already said quite enough, DUmmie Greenbriar…. Psst! SS Watch List! SS Watch List!]

Every minute of every day, Bu$h is worried that someone is going to off him. Four-fifths of the world detests him. He knows that he is the biggest, most corrupt piece of shit that has ever walked this earth, and believe me, he is paying for the self-inflicted spiritual rot that infests his being. His mind is already snapping, paranoia is festering within it, and guilt haunts him like the knowledge of a terminal cancer.

[Uhhh…..speaking of a snapping mind…]

I guess there are people who agree with me and wanting to go to Civil War.

[aka Treason.]

DUmmie FUnnies 11-23-04 AM Edition ("Do extreme conspiracy theories hurt our cause?")

The main reason that the inhabitants of my DUmmie Ant Farm are interesting is that they are FUnnie!!! And the main reason why they are FUnnie is because they constantly come up with kooky conspiracy theory, even when the facts contradict such theories. An example is the Ohio Provisional Vote Count which, with half the counties counted as of this posting, show that Bush has a LEADING margin over Kerry. For a short while, as you can see in yesterdays PM edition of the DUmmie Funnies, the DUmmies were dispiritedly discussing this topic so disheartening to them. So this morning I pop back into DUmmieland expected to see even more commentary about the Ohio results which thus far is the only SOLID evidence that could overturn the election results, and I found NOTHING. Since the Ohio Provisional Ballot Count has done nothing but prove that BUSH WON, the DUmmies are instead desperately grasping at EXTREME conspiracy theories. A few DUmmies with a RARE modicum of common sense realize that it makes the DUmmies look like complete loonies as you can see in this DUmmie THREAD titled, “Do extreme conspiracy theories hurt our cause?” So sit back, relax, and enjoy the spectacle of DUmmies continuing to marginalize themselves. As usual the loony DUmmie self-marginalizing rantings are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, enjoying the spectacle of watching Dummie’s defending their lunacy, is in the [brackets]:

Do extreme conspiracy theories hurt our cause?

[Yes, but on the UP side it helps get your DUmmie thread past the auditioning process and into the DUmmie FUnnies. But let us now hear more from DUmmie Spector who, due to his rare case of rationality in DUmmieland, will most likely be expelled from that nether region.]

I believe any recount effort in the hopes of overturning the current results is counter-productive and worse, pointless. More than likely, vote fraud occurred on both sides of the aisle. More than likely, the totality of the fraud was nominal- on both sides.

[Did I say that DUmmie Spector will most likely be expelled? After the above statement I would say Spector’s expulsion from DUmmielannd has become much more of a sure thing.]

While it is certainly possible that there is some form of republican cabal that had the power and ability to steal the election; how likely is it really? If this is indeed fact, how likely is it for us to uncover the truth? If they had this ability wouldn’t it follow that they also have the ability to ‘fix’ all recounts also?

[The Ohio Provisional Ballot Vote Count showing Bush with a winning margin---FIXED!!!]

If this election was stolen, we have much bigger problems. It would mean that everything our Nation stands for no longer exists. It would mean our ‘Freedom’ is an illusion. The United States would no longer exist and any effort to replace bush with Kerry would be utterly pointless. If this election was stolen it would mean that the entire government was our enemy and appointing a new figure-head would achieve nothing.

[DUmmie Spector is now starting to sound like he is promulgating a loony conspiracy theory of his own here. Perhaps he wants to get re-instated back into DUmmieland.]

Going on the belief that the election was not stolen, we have to change our current rhetoric, esp. the kind that is all too often posted here on DU, if we ever want the Democrat Party to achieve stewardship again.

[Uh-Oh! DUmmie Spector’s membership in DUmmieland is in jeopardy again for lapsing back into rationality.]

The wild conspiracy theories propagated by the left-most elements of our party damage our cause. They only serve to marginalize everything we attempt to achieve. The bush administration did not plan and execute 9/11. The bush admin did not form a nationwide conspiracy to steal the election. The Draft is not going to be reinstated anytime in the near future.

[OUTRAGEOUS!!! DUmmie Spector---You are EXPELLED!!!]

The more people rant and rave about these things only shows how desperate some of us have become. If you want to embrace a conspiracy, start looking at the people who front these extreme beliefs. I think a good number of them are freepers sent to divide our cause and marginalize our real everyday issues.


I guess I don’t get it. Call me ‘freeper’, ban me even, but until we start reigning in some of the most extreme things we say, we will not be united enough to put another Democrat in the WH.

[And that is bad? How?]

How many of the real liberals on this site really believe in some of these conspiracies? I bet not many…course I could be wrong. Am I wasting my time here? I don’t have time for people who don’t live in the real world, so please, let me know.

[Yes, you are wasting your time in DUmmieland, DUmmie Spector. Also I am very angry at you for trying to veer the DUmmies away from promulgating wild conspiracy theories. Are you trying to ruin my comedy material for the DUmmie FUnnies?]

Sorry for the long rant, I am getting pretty frustrated reading some of the things on this site…(this is a 'if the shoe fits' kind of thing...) Keep the Faith… cause I don’t know if I can anymore…

p.s. Of course, I may be a government agent sent to keep everyone off track…

[Hmmm….Well, at least Dummie Spector left us speculating on yet another wild conspiracy theory. And now let us hear from his fellow DUmmies…]

it never seemed to hurt the swiftboat liars.

anyways, it's only a theory if you don't believe the facts of election fraud that was commited.

[Yeah! Thank you for standing up for Wild Conspiracy FACTS. ]

I think what our friend is saying is that we need to not give them any more excuse to call us "left-wing loonies."

[“Left-wing loonies” are FUN to watch!]

Completely full of shit.

Thanks for playing, no one's buying.

[WHEW! Thanx for that. Now I do have an excuse to call you “left-wing loonies.”]

If you believe what you just said, you need to get the bushel basket off your head and take a good look at what's going on. Exit polls are and exact science perfected over the years. They don't lie but the media has and this election was stolen from Kerry..no doubt about it.

[Those exit polls are such an exact science that all future election results should be based on them since the actual election ballot results are just a mere technicality.]

Instead of calling out "Fraud" or "Conspiracy!" would we better served to call out "irregularities"?

[Yes! If you just dress kooky conspiracy theories with nice words, that will make lunacy acceptable.]

If you want to argue with persons who firmly believe the vote was hacked, you first have to follow all the trails of their evidence. Have you honestly done that? There is some pretty damning evidence there that would lead a reasonable person to believe that vote fraud occured. Not mistakes. Not fudging. Out and out intentional fraud.

[And I bet DUmmie Spector hasn’t even given a dime to Bev Harris. This shows just what a fraud he is. But let us now allow DUmmie Spector to defend himself…..]

The burden of proof is placed on those making the allegations. I have yet to read anywhere that the total sum of 'stolen' votes would put Kerry over the top in Ohio, or Florida for that matter. Give me the links that dispute that with evidence. It is a mistake to accuse anyone of anything before we have concrete evidence. Are you saying we have that?

[Proof? PROOF? We don’t need no stinkin’ PROOF!!!]

As far as voter fraud goes: there was motive and opportunity. Only a handful of people would have needed to know.

I don't think you're a freeper. I just think you're deluded by the idea of seeming rational during highly suspect times.

[Thank you for that highly effective comeback, DUmmie readmoreoften. I too am highly offended by DUmmie Spector’s misplaced ratinality.]

The whole premise of the war on terror is a flat out lie. The only terrorists are the government and its agitators.When they arent torturing (80% of the worlds governments torture their own people)they are scheming.

[Thank you, DUmmie LimpingLib, for steering this discussion back to its proper irrationality.]

Felonies took place during this election. Silence! More people need to scream!


When all is said and done, it will be revealed that bush won by an even bigger margin than originally reported. We will have to come to terms with that before we can do what is needed to make sure we don't lose next time.

[SHUT UP, DUMMIE SPECTOR!!! ARRRRGGGGHHHH! I REFUSE to come to terms with that! Instead I will visualize my own reality of a Kerry inauguration this January.]

. These "conspiracy theories" are based on FACTS.

They are not "wild accusations". If you did half the reading and research some of us have done, who wouldn't be so quick to dismiss the possiblity of corruption. Please, get informed. Son't be like the rest of the sheeple.
9/11 was an inside job and there is sufficient info to suggest this.

[Thank you, DUmmie ever_green, for restoring my morale. But, umm, could you tell me what those “facts” are? I hear them mentioned from time to time here in DUmmieland but never actually see them.]

Monday, November 22, 2004

DUmmie FUnnies 11-22-04 (DUmmies Dejected Over Ohio Provisional Vote Count)

It looks like the DUmmie Coyote’s Acme Co. package in the form of a vote recount is now exploding in their faces. BEEP! BEEP! The Bush Road Runner is ONCE AGAIN leaving dust in their faces as the provisional ballots now being counted show Bush with a leading margin. Now sit back and watch the cartoon show of the dejected DUmmie Coyote in this THREAD being outwitted yet another time. As usual the mournful DUmmie whinings are in Bolshevik Red while the comments of your humble correspondent, thoroughly enjoying the cartoon show, are in the [brackets]:

Ohio Provisional Vote Count Update... The latest data concerning the Ohio provisonal vote count shows 25 counties have completed counting ballots. Approximately 75% have been deemed valid. Bush has picked up an additional 7905 votes Kerry has garnered an additional 5636.

[OOPS! Warning to the DUmmie Coyote---NEVER open up the vote recount package from the Acme Co.. It could blow up in your face.]

Can someone from Ohio look at this site and give us a forecast? I mean in the sense of which are Dem strongholds and which are Repub strongholds and is this a trend to bush or just a surge based on which counties are providing results? There were 150,000 PBs, at least, right? So this is only approximately 13,500 of them. Is Kerry holding his own?

[No. He is losing ground. BEEP! BEEP!]

It appears as though the votes are breaking pretty close to the way they did in the general. Unfortunately there appear to be higher "throw out" rates in the bigger higher vote Kerry counties ie Lucas @ 50% Cuyohoga @ 35%

[BEEP! BEEP! Once again the DUmmie Coyote is left eating Road Runner dust.]

As for the throw-aways, I'm sure the Kerry campaign is paying attention. I wonder what those counties' "excuses" are.

[The voter has been dead since 1932 and other similarly lame excuses.]

It sure seems like they are taking their time getting these votes counted.

[That is because the Ohio state officials like to get extra laughs from the DUmmie FUnnies by prolonging your agony.]

They have more provisional votes for * than they do for Kerry.

[AHA! Proof right there of vote fraud! Let the impeachment proceedings BEGIN!!!]

There was at least one case west of Columbus where a couple voted absentee and on election day. There might be another case up near Cleveland but I don't recall it off the top of my head.

[Glad you to see you kept a detailed record of vote fraud.]

Can I ask an unpopular question? I'm sure I'm missing something here and let me just preface this by saying NO, I'm not a freeper troll...but if the new hampshire recounts are pretty much looking like there wasn't any funny business and the provisional vote counts have Bush with 7905 and Kerry with 5636...is it possible....that Bush...won?

[And on what basis, other than vote returns, do you make that absurd assumption?]

I would love to nail it to Bush and Co...its' just getting tougher to 'keep the faith'.

[KEEP THE FAITH, BABY!!! Visualize a Kerry presidency hard enough and you can create your own reality! I BEEEEELEEEEEVE that Kerry will become president on January 20!!!]

With 155,000 provisional ballots, and a "gap" of about 132,000, we needed to win by overwhelming margins. Even in the Bush areas. This data thus far pretty much rules out catching * in the provisionals. We'll have to do it via the fraud/recount route.

[Ah! The DUmmie Coyote always has a Plan B ready in case Plan A fails. Just be sure that vote fraud package isn’t marked "Acme Co." or you could be tasting more Road Runner dust.]

Update of the Update... The latest data show Bush +9029 Kerry +6202 28 counties reporting. 75% acceptance rate


doesn't look like the provisional ballots are going to make a big impact. Bush is gaining where he did well, and Kerry is gaining where he did well. Looks like it could be a wash. But at least they are being countned.

[That should be a great consolation to you on Jan. 20 when Bush is inaugurated.]

Continuing updates... The latest count is as follows Bush +12052 Kerry + 8062 37/88 reporting 75% acceptance rate

[So Bush increased his margin from about 2800 to 4000. Is that a good thing? Should we be making plans to attend a Kerry inauguration party on Jan. 20?]

that really does not sound good, no chance whatsoever of Ohio switching based on provisionals and under votes then.

[Quick! Send a bundle of cash to Bev Harris to make those provisional ballots go away!]

Had hoped that the provisionals had broke hard for Kerry even in the Bush counties but does not appear to be happening. Never know though big counties still out


I'm still holding onto that thin thread of hope.

[Maybe Billy Jack will ride to the rescue!]