DUmmie FUnnies 11-28-04 PM Edition ("Jesse Jackson Latest News...")
BREAKING NEWS FROM OHIO 7:03pm CST:
"Jesse Jackson spoke in Ohio at large African-American church. At a press conference before the rally in which the lead attorney openly stated that they discovered the method by which the election in Ohio was rigged for G.W. Bush. As many as 65,000 votes were lifted from the Kerry column to the Bush column. Discovered from looking at a parallel race (Connally). Democratic Supreme Court justice ended up getting more votes than Kerry did. Attorneys are surmising that the only way this could have happened is if votes were lifted from Kerry to Bush. They have the actual vote counts. They consider this prima facia evidence."
[Actually is prima facetious evidence.]
Can ya Feel IT? Can Ya Feel It In The Air? THINGS ARE STARTIN TO HAPPEN PEOPLE, IT IS JUST A MATTER OF TIME! Today is the most motivating day for me yet. This coming week is going to be a week to remember, REALITY SAYS SO
[HALLELUJAH! I BEEEEELEEEEVE! I FEEEEEEEEL IT! I am soooooo excited that a warm gushing flow has soaked my diaper!]
But where is the media? I haven't seen it anywhere. Jesse is the truth!
[Jesse is the Way, the Truth, and the Blight!]
can't feel it at all... I'm sorry, I wish I could, but I've had my hopes DASHED on so many stories over the past 4 years. I've seen SO many posts identical to yours that I can't even count them any more. BELIEVE ME, I'm hoping you're right, and I certainly don't begrudge you your optimism, but I just can't feel it.
[You MUST BEEEEEELEEEEEEVE! Jesse has arrived in the Mother Ship to bring GOOD TIDINGS for us all. This is the GREATEST DAY in all of history!]
There's something happening here... What it is ain't exactly clear...
[What is happening is that 10,000 suckers have been born in a minute. A truly momentous event!]
This is what I like -- all of this positive energy is very promising. Nothing great is every accomplished easily, and this struggle is very much an example of that. This has got to be the big one. Somethings gotta give people. Maybe the emerging evidence and stuff like this is why Rice's confirmation hearing has been postponed? Speculation...?
[Maybe it is why the Apocalypse has been postponed? Speculation…?
However this story ends, I want to tell my grand children that I did every thing possible to make this world a better place. What we do here and what we say here is a piece, no matter how small,of the history of the Election of 2004.
[BWAAAAA!!!! I just wanna cry tears of joy after reading that. What say we go on a Drama Queen tour of dinner theaters throughout the land?]
Are we finally getting to the smoking gun that everyone seems to need?
[The Smoking Gun is on the Grassy Knoll hidden underneath the Tinfoil Hat.]
I dedicated the church service to Rev. Jackson and all who work for justice and accountablity in elections today. (I'm an intern minister at a UU church.) Was pleased to see many people in the pews nodding in knowing understanding. People know what's going down.
[I dedicated my Santeria service to Rev. Jackson by lopping off a dozen chicken heads and dancing wildly on their entrails.]
First Davis said they KNOW how the election was rigged -- then when asked do they have evidence or are just surmising -- it became more of a surmise...
[WOO! HOO! Surmise is EVEN BETTER than boring evidence! Do you FEEEEEL the John Kerry inauguration coming this January? With this surmise, the visualization of my own reality is becoming even more clear!]
Wow! Do they have proof of this?
[Of course not. They have SURMISE which is EVEN BETTER than proof!]
It is unclear from the interview -- when asked he retorted that the attorneys are surmising that votes were shifted. From the interview, it could be taken one of two ways -- either the attorneys have evidence of vote fraud or that they are surmising that votes were switched.
[All constitutional lawyers know that the mere appearance of surmised vote fraud is grounds for IMPEACHMENT!!!]
If they could prove it, I bet it will be more than that. I think it would in fact put Kerry in the White House.
[Of course they can prove this surmised vote fraud. After all, Jesse Jackson is promoting this and his integrity is IMPECCABLE!]
Ohhh this is nice.... we've come so far haven't we? Are we going to see a big week with this or what?!!? I'm so happy that Jesse Jackson is getting this out. And that he's probably contacting Kerry saying 'what's next boss?'. This is good, real good. Democracy is moving and we all need to get on the train.
[Ohhhhh….. I am SWOONING at the news of this allegation of surmised vote fraud! Ohhhh….]