Sunday, May 24, 2009

KOmmies tortured with Cheney Insanity Addiction (CIA)

Darth Cheney, as we all know, was--is--the mastermind behind the Bush Family Evil Empire. Or was it Karl Rove? Oh well, tied for first. Lord Cheney himself personally tortured those poor widdle innocent abductees down at Club Gitmo. But perhaps the worst torture of all was that he saddled the Looney Left with permanent Cheney Insanity Addiction (CIA). "Why can't I quit you?" the moonbats cry out, whenever they see Cheney's sneering visage.

And so last week when former Vice-President Cheney gave a thorough and well-reasoned speech (quite brilliant, really; you can read the
transcript here), explaining and defending what the previous administration did, very successfully, to preserve our nation's security and save American lives against enemy terrorists--you KNEW an insane reaction would not be long in coming from the Left! Witness this top-recommended KOmmieland THREAD, the elegantly titled, "Hey Dick, F- YOU!!!!" In it, KOmmie XNeeOhCon unleashes an X-rated F-bomb carpetbombing that makes up for its lack of substance with tons of raging vulgarity.

So let us wander over toward the padded room that is KOmmieland and peer through the one-way glass, as we observe the sufferers of Cheney Insanity Addiction, in Stroking-out Red, while the commentary of your humble correspondent, Charles Henrickson, thanking God this Memorial Day weekend for all those who have sought to defend our country, is in the [brackets]:

Hey Dick, F- YOU!!!!

[I can tell from the get-go this is going to be high-level intelligent discourse.]

Seriously, F*ck you Dick Cheney!


F*ck your pompous condecension. F*ck your straw men! F*ck your mischaracterizations! F*ck your sniveling attempts to keep you and your buddies asses out of federal prison! F*ck your presumption that we are a bunch of cowering idiots looking for daddy to protect us from the big bad terrorists. Just F*CK YOU!

[Did I catch all the "u's"?]

F*ck you Dick Cheney!

[Hey, slow down! I'll run out of asterisks!]

I just peeked out from behind my couch to check the living room and I thought I saw khalid Sheikh Mohammed with a nuke in his hand, no wait, that's just a f*cking chair.

[How about Khalid Sheikh Mohammed with three jetliners in his hands, crashing them into buildings and killing thousands of American citizens? What, you say, you don't see that anymore? Hmmm. . . . Maybe there's a reason for that.]

After changing my shorts I started watching Dick again. Wait, what? You are some kind of benevolent protector doing the difficult things to keep us safe? F*ck You!

[Gee, and here I thought the #1 responsibility of any presidency was precisely that: to protect America and keep us safe from enemy attack! Silly me!]

You are a malevolent narcissistic a$$hole. . . . F*ck you!

["Malevolent"! Good word! And "narcissistic"! But then you retreat back to the easy A-word and the familiar F-bomb.]

Lets pick up people off the street and waterboard them just in case they are plotting the next 9/11. They might have a dirty bomb in their trunk.

[Or a dirty tongue in their mouth.]

F*ck, I'm scared.

[I am too, now that Obambi and Biden are in charge.]

F*ck You!

[Does this feel good? You do realize, do you, that Cheney isn't reading your rant?]

Are you suggesting that torturing people is the only way to keep that from happening? Well then strap some electrodes to my balls. . . .

[Say, you're not benburch with a new screen name, are you?]

We either have to do what you did or we're f*cked? It's torture people, or 9/11 was one of a kind, or we're f*cked? F*ck You! . . . F*ck That! . . . Oh, and I don't care what the f*cking memos say! How can I beleive a f*cking word of it when you were f*cking torturing the people who gave you the info?

[Running out of asterisks here!]

Are we f*cking idiots!?



[Last one! Now let's try to find a few non-F-bombs and non-"Dick" jokes from among the 376 comments of your fellow KOmmies. . . .]

If they're in Gitmo then they are like comic book villians that will surely escape and destroy buildings with their heat vision or superhuman strength.

[That's it. The Twin Towers were brought down with heat vision.]

This should be the effing Strunck & White of rant.

[More like the Drunk & Wayout.]

This guy needs to go back under his serial-killer rock. He is a boil on the butt of the USA.

[Oozin' Boil.]

waterboarding is soooo 2003. everyone orangejuiceboards now.

[Torture without orangejuiceboarding is like a day without sunshine.]

Longest 10 minutes of my life was earlier today when I was stuck in a doctor's waiting room with Cheney giving a speech on CNN. Talk about torture.

[Cheney Insanity Addiction strikes again!]

- - - - -

BONUS ROUND: More of the 376 KOmmie KOmments . . .

He needs to be banished. . . .

[I hear there's some space down in Cuba that's coming open.]

Oh no. Trial and prison. . . .

[Skip the trial.]

better yet He needs to get punched in the head. I'd do it, but I'd rather watch.

[And you're the guys who claim Cheney got his jollies from having prisoners tortured.]

instead of attacking what are the Democratic congresscritters doing: caving. Caving on Guantanamo, caving on guns, caving on bankruptcy, caving on Health care. . . . We are weak, we are scaredy. . . .


There are a good number of American people who do agree with him. I live among them. They do not want to do the hard and difficult work of abiding by their so-called principles. I think it's also why many of them go to church....they can be complete and utter @ssholes all week long, spend one hour snoozing through some pastor's sermon, be all forgiven and sh*t, and go back to the same exact thing the next week.

[Snoozing through the pastor's sermon? Impossible!]

Do not underestimate the bloodlust of the American people. And, please, don't underestimate what fear does to people. When you add in the arrogance of "how dare "they" kill AMERICANS!", it is a potent combination.

[Imagine, getting upset just because the oppressed al-Qaedaians killed a measly few thousand Americans!]

There is no one, other than (Jesus sigh) Jesse Ventura, out there calling torture torture. . . .

[Jesse is an expert on featherboa-ing.]

I just saw Diane Feinstein in MSNBC and a yogurt would have had more assertiveness and message.

[Diannon Feinstein.]

I'm Angry Mouse and I endorse this diary.

[OK, that makes it official, now that it has the Angry Mouse imprimatur.]

Dick Cheney must be brought to trial. If it has not happened, Obama's presidency is a failure.


He's an 'it', a real lizard person.

[From Iguanatanamo.]

Right now, I'd say there's a 0.5% chance Cheney will be tried for war crimes, and a 0.01% chance he'll end up in The Hague.


grow up. this is the kind of nonsense that the rush/hannity/o'reilley crowd isolate and hold up as an example as representative of the entire kos community (and liberal blogosphere for that matter).

[And as prime fodder for the DUmmie FUnnies!]

This needs to be put to music!!!

[In the key of F.]

Ironically enough - I am an actor who will be playing a Department of Homeland security torturer in an upcoming production of a play which is an adaptation of a book by Cory Doctorow called "Little Brother" about teenagers who use their tech savvy to fight back against a police state instituted after another major terrorist attack.

[It's a musical, right?]

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Outrage Over Senate Voting Against Gitmo Prisoner Release Into USA

The KOmmies are all upset over the fact that the Senate overwhelmingly voted AGAINST funding the release of the Gitmo terrorists into the USA. They are angry at the Senate Democrats for "caving" in to the EVIL Republicans. Their cheerleader is Air America radio host, Cenk Uygur, who posted this KOmmieland THREAD, "World's Dumbest Talking Point Gets Traction." So let us now watch the KOmmies work themselves into a rage over the Senate Democrats not voting to bring the terrorists into the USA in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, remembering the problems caused by the Mariel prisoners incarcerated here, is in the [brackets]:

World's Dumbest Talking Point Gets Traction

[Thanx to the Senate Democrats.]

For weeks now, Republicans have been talking about how we can't bring Guantanamo detainees to the US as if we'd be bringing them in for a picnic. They have pretended that bringing them to the US is the same thing as releasing them out in the middle of Kansas or Oklahoma (or right by Ground Zero as the dumbass Peter King suggested). We've talked about this on our show from time to time to mock them mercilessly, but I didn't bother writing about it because who would be dumb enough to believe this inane talking point? Well, now we have our answer. Almost the entire Senate.

[Gee, for a group that is supposedly irrelevant, the Republicans sure seem to have a lot of influence.]

They just voted 90-6 to say that the Obama administration cannot have the funds they need to close Gitmo and bring the detainees for trial here in the US. Rep. King was outraged at the idea that the people who carried out 9/11 would be tried near Ground Zero. Where the hell else would they be tried? That's where the crime happened. That's how our system works. Where are we supposed to try them - on Mars?

[How about we try them in Gitmo, safely away from the mainland?]

FBI Director Robert Mueller testified today in Congress that if they are even held in a prison in the US, they could radicalize the other prisoners. Here are some of the other prisoners at the Supermax in Colorado - the Oklahoma City bomber Terry Nichols, World Trade Center bombers Ramzi Yousef and the Blind Sheikh Omar Abdel-Rahman, the Unabomber Ted Kaczynski, the Olympic Park bomber Eric Rudolph. Who are the Gitmo detainees going to radicalize, the Unabomber?

[So we should listen to an Air America host rather than the FBI Director?]

The Senate needs to stop giving into Republican fear mongering and recognize that it's about time that we brought the Gitmo detainees to justice here in the United States.

[Bring them into the USA so we can lawyer them up. And now for the KOmmie reaction...]

I'm from Massachusetts. We'll take four. C'mon, you other states; step up.

[Lots of Boston attorneys would love to lawyer them up free.]

Weak Reid probably wears diapers. He is a disgrace, get that man out of the so-called "Majority Leader" position, he acts more like a five-deferment wimpy bed wetter.

[Reid prefers Depends.]

Why do you think a small number of the detainees probably committed enough crimes to put them in jail for the rest of their lives? Why is this more probable than that none of them did?

[All are innocent! Give them blanket amnesty and ship them to Boston.]

They can stay in my apartment if they want. Though I think I can only comfortably house two or three, they won't have to pay rent. All I'll ask is that they teach me their native language. No deal if that's English, though.

[Don't forget to fluff their pillows when they go beddy bye.]

I saw Reid on television saying that the Senate was not going to vote to "release" these terrorists onto US streets. I was gobsmacked. WTF is up with Harry Reid?

[I think it is called "re-election."]

it looks like having lost the election, the Republican hold on the American soul is nonetheless unbroken.


I think Reid sounded so ridiculous because he was lying, plain and simple. Dems don't do pandering to the lowest common denominator well and it annoys me when I see the leadership even try.

[He needed to match the Speaker of the House.]

I'll share my apartment with one and show him what Americans REALLY think of their government.

[Serve him lunch at noon and get your head sawed off at One.]

We know the Bush administration tortured people in Gitmo. That really complicates prosecuting them.

[Who is "we," Kimosabe?]

The real reason they're so afraid of closing Gitmo is that it will reveal how many of the prisoners are not, actually "really bad people." It's all about covering asses, not scary terrorists.

[Considering the latter statment, Ben Burch would love to replace Big Bob as a Gitmo guard.]

Feingold gave a good speech about how this whole argument was a joke, then voted against the funding. Incredible.

[Yeah, I need to hear Russ's explanation of that vote.]

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Elizabeth Edwards Rattled On "The View"

Here is a tip for women out there. If you absolutely hate talking about your husband having a love child with another woman, then DON'T write a book about his affair and then go on a publicity tour promoting the publication. Because if you do, you are sure to be asked highly embarrassing questions about the love child as happened to Elizabeth Edwards when she appeared on "The View" yesterday. Take a look at the video in this Huffington Post THREAD, "Elizabeth Edwards Talks Possible Love Child On 'The View'" and you could almost hear her mind screaming out "STFU!!!" And yet "The View" hosts keep coming back to ask Elizabeth more questions about the love child. STFU!!! But what did Elizabeth expect on "The View" or any of the other shows? That they would just ignore the love child? STFU!!! So let us now watch Elizabeth Edwards scream "STFU!!!" in her mind in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, noting that a timeline shows that John Edwards most likely caused the conception of the love child on the very day in 2007 when he won the Father of the Year award, is in the [brackets]:

Elizabeth Edwards stuttered through four awkward minutes of talk about husband John's possible love child on "The View" on Tuesday, continuing an explanation she first gave on Oprah.

Without bringing up Rielle Hunter's name, Sherri Shepherd broached the subject in the second segment. Sherri's estranged husband fathered a child with another woman, so she can relate.


"If the whole issue would go away, I'd be perfectly happy," Edwards said. "Somebody is obviously the father... The fact doesn't change the relationship with my husband."


She went on from there, after being pressed by Barbara.

"I don't know whose child this is. I think that's probably the reason there is no father written on the birth certificate, I understand. Whoever the father is, they're going to have to have to deal with the fact that they have this child. From my perspective... my relationship with my husband is not changed by this."

She also said that if the child IS his, she would not leave John.

[Stand by your con man. And now to hear from the HUffies...]

What is wrong with her, is this ALL TO SELL A BOOK? She is getting embaresed just for that.


Elizabeth, dear, the only way this is going to go away is if you stop talking about it to anyone who will have you on his/her show! The public was so over all this. Now you need to take time to heal and get over it, too. Talk to a therapist. In private.

[And STFU!!!]

She wishes the whole issue would go away? Then why doesn't she just stop going on all these shows and talking about it. She knows she's going to be asked. Geez, Elizabeth, stop already. what a distasteful circus.

[But at least it does remind us again what a sleazebag the Breck Girl is.]

She should go on all the tv shows she wants to go on. However, she shouldn't be surprised that she gets asked embarrassing questions when she does.
As for doing nothing wrong, a lot of people aren't impressed by her presenting such a phony image of family togetherness in order to get her husband elected when she knew otherwise. It's the hypocrisy that is distasteful.

[At least it was an authentically phony image.]

Elizabeth, we all love you. But PLEASE, PLEASE, go home to your children and be quiet. Someday your children will read all this stuff, see all this stuff, and its not going to do them any good. Either forgive your husband, and let this matter end, or kick him out of that big house.

+[According to the National Enquirer, she already did kick him out of the big house.]

She wants that issue to go away? Well everybody pretty much forgot about it until she decided to write a book about it and promote it on Oprah.


Wait til Rielle starts making the rounds! That should bring up some even stranger questions.

[If there is a big payday involved, you can be sure Rielle will be making the talk show rounds.]

The issue of paternity is not about Elizabeth Edwards hurt feelings. I do not understand why paternity has not been resolved yet. John Edwards needs to step up and ask for a paternity test to determine if this is his child and then he needs to become a part of her life if he is the father. The adults in this situation are behaving like children. This little girl needs a father. I would think someone among this group would understand this and step up to their responsibility.

[Calling Maury Povich!]

You would think that EE would be better prepared when she makes the rounds of all these shows, discussing this topic ad nauseam! Stop with the stuttering already - you had to know all these questions were coming when you opened up this can of worms again!

[Gee, why would talk show hosts want to talk about the love child? Elizabeth never expected that.]

The entire reason Elizabeth Edwards wrote this book was to publicly shame her husband and Rielle Hunter so bad that when she eventually loses her battle with cancer , Jonh Edwards cannot take up with his baby mama because the public scorn would be overwhelming. To me, that is the point of the book. "SHAME on Rielle." She almost makes John out to be a victim of a predator. What a laugh. Great lesson to teach their daughter.

[Yeah, the mistress was keeping quiet UNTIL Elizabeth's book was published.]

The whole issue will go away as soon as she stops talking about it. She's going to beat Edwards about the head and shoulders with this to humiliate him as much as he did her. But enough is enough. Damn.

[No. I disagree. I want to see MORE humiliation of the Breck Girl.]

Why would a married man with a sick wife and young children have unprotected sex? All of this could have been avoided if he had a second of thought.

[Maybe Walgreen's was closed the night Johnny made his condom run.]

The way she is trashing Rielle is so undignified --- yet Elizabeth still holds up her husband as this perfect man who made "one mistake" and Rielle as some "thing who shall not be named." Who was the person with the power and sway in that relationship -- John. Who was the person with more to lose -- Rielle. Who has been the person who has acted in the most dignified fashion since this entire story broke -- Rielle.

[It was all Rielle's fault! My Johnny was merely an innocent bystander who was conned by her!]



Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Leftwing Blogosphere Goes NUts Over Obama Photo Release Reversal

It is a sight to behold. The entire leftwing blogosphere went absolutely BERSERK because Obama just announced that he WON'T be releasing the interrogation photos. Of course, he was a fool for announcing that release in the first place. And now The One is paying the price bigtime as you shall see in this DUmmie THREAD, "BREAKING NEWS: Obama will seek to block Gitmo interrogation photos, official tells NBC News," and this Daily Kos KOmmie THREAD, "Obama Makes Terrible Mistake by Not Releasing Pictures," written by leftwing radio host of the Young Turks show, Cenk Uygur. In fact, Cenk is now claiming that Obama just got PWND by Dick Cheney which is why we shall start with his KOmmie thread. So let us now watch the leftwing loons watch Obama crumble into pixie dust in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, enjoying DUmmie and KOmmie disillusionment on a mass scale, is in the [barackets]:

This is an unbelievable moment. Dick Cheney's PR offensive over the last month actually worked. Barack Obama just crumbled and will follow Cheney's command to not release the new set of detainee abuse pictures.

[Thank you, Cenk, for that confirmation that Barack is merely the Teleprompter-In-Chief.]

By the way, if you hadn't figured it out by now, that's why you saw every Cheney in the world on television arguing that torture works and that releasing more information would gravely harm the troops. They weren't worried about what was already released; they were worried about what was going to get released. They were trying to pre-empt the most damaging thing of all - the pictures that show the torture.

[A damning photo of a hand turning the Gitmo prisoner cell A/C from 79 to 69 degrees.]

The news reports will tell you that Obama listened to his generals on this. Yes, who put Gen. David Petraeus and Gen. Ray Odierno in their current positions? Oh yes, George W. Bush and Dick Cheney. Very fair and balanced advice you would get from them. This isn't about protecting the troops; it's about protecting their own behinds. They might have been in the chain of command that allowed this abuse to happen. Expecting unbiased advice from them is ridiculous.

[Instead we should expect unbiased advice from MoveOn.Org?]

And to add insult to injury, we have to reconcile ourselves to the fact that Dick Cheney still runs DC no matter how unpopular and despicable he is. He still has the Democrats eating out of his hand. Pathetic. Absolutely pathetic.

[Here, Joe Biden. Eat some birdy yum-yums out of Mr. Cheney's hand... Okay, enough with Cenk already. Now for the FUn part as you read the hilarious KOmmie outrage...]

Are Obama and the Dems giving Cheney a free pass in the hope that this all goes away? If they are they are just as guilty as Bush/Cheney. And if they are I am f*cking done with them.

[Angry KOmmies are FUn to watch!]

A hollow shell of a presidency. a stab in the back for progressive ideas and ideals.

[All hail our glorious emperor, the mighty TOTUS Khan!!!]

Complicit, spineless Democratic leaders will have no more ratching up the rhetoric on torture, leaving the task of bringing the US to justice to others, like the World Court and Spain.

[Send Pelosi to The Hague!]

Plenty of torture photos are already out there, everybody knows the Bush admin tortured innocent people. All that matters now is whether Washington insiders are prosecuted, or if they are protected from prosecution, which is effectively condoning torture.

[Plenty of "torture" photos are out there but no one has ever seen just ONE.]

It's just gonna make Obama look weak, stupid, and totally in cahoots with the WAR CRIMINALS who committed and who authorized such dreadful things.

[Cheney hypnotized The One good. Real good!]

NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO! A thousand times NO!

My baby said YES! YES!
She didn't say NO!]

Obama just crumbled & will follow Cheney Command. The voice in this country of Cheney being stronger than Obama, and Obama giving in to Cheney.

[You are getting sleepy, Barack! Look deeply into Cheney's eyes. You are feeling weaker and weaker. You are now ready for total submission!]

I Want The Photos Released. I demand they be released. The courts have ordered them released. Obama said he would release them and then chickened out.

[WAAAAH!!! Baby KOmmie wants his photos! WAAAAH!!!]

Obama's declarations mean jack shit

[Hope and Change.]

It just looks like the Republicans won out. He should never in his life make them look good. I know that's silly but goodness, please stick to your guns, Mr. President.

[That's the WORST thing Obama could do: make Republicans look good which he did.]

Cheney wins.


Just remember, torture is nothing compared to the killing of innocent children, which happens daily by the US or with our weapons. Obama is not stopping that either.

[Woe is us! Let the self-flagellation begin.]

STOP BEING A COWARD, worried about reelection and some bullshit pundit in the media. Gosh no one has the ball to speak truth anywhere.
Oh whatever I am done.

[Well toasted.]

These are war crimes and Obama is participating in them by enabling them to be covered up.

[So who gets sent to The Hague first? Obama or Cheney?]

I think American gets it: George W. Bush is a lying, duplicitous, altogether criminal son-of-a-bitch cut from the same cloth as Saddam Hussien - a tyrannical despot, happy to pave the road of his sick political ambition with the blood of innocents. He belongs in hell and it remains my fervent hope that he finds his way home expeditiously.

[Said a member of the "reality-based community."]

I certainly hope he doesn't give a speech about Truth, Justice and the American Way at ASU.

[Tossing Barack under the bus?]

G O D D A M I T P R E S I D E N T O B A M A ! ! ! ! ! !





removed my obama bumper sticker today. he is a false hope in the most central basic sense.

[Gasp! The false messiah! ...And now to DUmmieland.]

BREAKING NEWS: Obama will seek to block Gitmo interrogation photos, official tells NBC News

[BREAKING NEWS: Obama caves in to Cheney]

Because we can't handle the truth...or some such bullshit like that.

[You want the truth? YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!!!]

Well, I WANT the truth...because IMO if this comes out, Obama will have NO place to go except to find Bush, Cheney and the rest of the cabal and see that the motherfuck*rs are charged.

[Charged with jaywalking.]

the guys who shoved plastic flashlights up little boys rectums(until they screamed) are dancing for joy

[Just the thought of that is making Ben Burch dance for joy.]

Absolutely . . . my sister's in Europe and she had seen torture photos before we did ....

[She saw the photo of that hand turning up the A/C in a Gitmo cell?]

The people who know are the people who have seen the images.

[Images of Leprechauns dancing around the pot of gold.]

They don't want to release the image where this woman is rubbing her tits in his face.

[Ahhhh! The horror! The absolute horror! Please Petra Verkaik! I beg you not to torture me by rubbing your massively mammaried hooters in my face!]

Child sodomy child pornography

[You just got the eager attention of one Ben Burch.]

My personal theory is that some of the photos show. Pelosi & Reid on a Gitmo field trip, using cattle prods on detainees.

[Ben Burch just volunteered to be a detainee.]

When pictures come out of children being sodomized in front of women, as is rumored, all hell is going to break loose.

[DUmmies seem fixated on sodomy.]

Little boys screaming in agony as their anuses and rectums are savaged by CIA beasts

[Ben Burch engaging in fantasies again.]

F*ck you and your "change" BULLSHIT. And you can take your "constitutional scholar" CRAP and shove that too.

[Does this mean you no longer wuv Barack?]

WAIT? MORE TIME? INFLAME PEOPLE? Where's MY Transparency??
OMG, as each day goes by, I see that I HAVE ONCE AGAIN been DUPED!! I've HAD IT!!

[So you were also DUped by Bev Harris?]

and it's f*cking disgusting for obama to be putting his tail between his legs for his military-industrial complex masters so quickly. it's very unbelievably uncle tom-ish of him.

[Said the completely pale DUmmie.]

Holding them back is WRONG. Obama is enabling the "war crimes" of the previous Administration. I DIDN'T VOTE FOR THAT ... I VOTED FOR TRANSPARENCY!

[Yeah, like that "transparency" about what that Air Force One buzzing of Manhattan was really about.]

If we don't release them, we look like pussies who can't take responsibility for what we let the shrub administration get away with. I'd be all for holding the photos until trial IF we could get a warrant on the Bush cabal.

[Why bother with trial. Just go straight to convictions. Do not pass GO.]

absolutely f*cking disgusting
fuck you, you stinking fake "consitutional scholar" and war criminal.
I want my campaign contributions back.
I will never vote for that fucking fraud again.
From now on, when that charlatan is on the tube, I will do what I did with * and the rest of the monsters--reach for the remote as quickly as I can. I will not believe anything that comes out of his mouth.
He sold us out to the banksters, he's selling us out to the insurance fraudsters, he's covering up war crimes, he's got his own useless Vietnam going in Afghanistan, he's french-kissing republican butt and using "lack of bipartisanship" as an excuse for ignoring the will of We The People.
oh, but everything's aok, because he's a "superhuman chess player" who has "secret moves" we mortals "can't understand." He's "eloquent." He's all about "change." He has a "D" after his name doncha know.

adios, ** (whose name I will not say again)

and kick me off this board, too, because I'm done with the f*cking democrats--with very few exceptions, they are all stinking scum

[The One has become The Nameless for this DUmmie.]

I too hold out NO HOPE for the CORRUPT SCUM who make up our national political leaders. With few, very notable exceptions, they are all career politicians and a waste of humanity.


Fight for public financing and IRV voting -- and keep at it!!

[Verifiable paper ballots will make everything all right again. It is the answer for EVERYTHING!!!]

f*ck any and all "candidates." I won't vote for anybody. I'd rather work to legalize pot. I'll just stay high all the time, and sell some LEGALLY to help with my retirement. screw the politicians--D, R, what does it matter? it's all war, all the time, in between picking our pockets for their various frauds and scams.

[Take a big hit off Kumar's bong pipe. It is more effective than verifiable paper ballots.]

He's a politician and he wants to get re-elected. Naively, we thought he was different but he's not - he's just more manipulative.

[His teleprompter had you fooled.]

Someone got to him - either threatened him with death or terrorism against his family or the like. I don't think he's afraid of Cheney the man, but something has frightened him out of pursuing justice.

[They threatened to waterboard his new pet dog.]

The pictures are out and all over Australia and Europe.

[And yet NOT ONE such "torture" photo has ever appeared on the web. Interesting.]

Hope? Nope. Just Rope-a-Dope. And we are the dopes. Hear that? That's the sonic boom created by the sudden and synchronous collapse of the optimism and hopeful enthusiasm surrounding millions reform minded democrats. It was caused by a massive and instantaneous right shift in the Obama space-time continuum trapping us in a changeless state of being for at least another 4 years. Such strong gravity fields are even pulling in dense unmovable planets like Specterus Uranus.

[Uranus? You've just penetrated the space-time continuum of Ben Burch.]


[It's stuck in Uranus.]

Photos of the Planet Pitt

Thanx to the "Humbled" Telescope (as Charles Henrickson labeled it) we now have closeup photos of the Planet Pitt from across the galaxy. It all started when Charles posted this photo of Pied Piper Pitt, in the Free Republic thread of yesterday's DUFU blog, sucking down a cigarette so as to maximize the amount of nicotine in his lungs:

Using that photo, your humble correspondent used the Humbled Telescope to bring you a closeup shot of the Planet Pitt.

This was when astronomical creativity took off. First Charles labeled the photo as: The Karl Rover Explores Planet Pitt. This was followed by a photographic observation by Freeper Roscoe Karns:

Then the Humbled Telescope provided us with this spectacular shot of the interstellar probe orbiting the Planet Pitt as provided again by Roscoe Karns:

Finally, Roscoe Karnes provided us with this shot of the Planet Pitt from the perspective of the Starship Enterprise. It really had me ROTFLMAO!

As part of the extended Pied Piper Pitt Day celebrations, which hasn't officially ended yet since the 24 business hours have yet to expire, I am asking for more Planet Pitt photo contributions. I will update the this DUFU Blog with those photos.

And the above from Freeper mikrofon: "Captain, we cannot penetrate the surface -- it is composed of pure DUtronium..."

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

May 12: Pied Piper Pitt Day

It is May 12. Pied Piper Pitt Day! Let the bells ring out in joy! Gather up your family for the celebrations! Today we honor the man who on May 12, 2006, just 24 business hours ago, broke the big journalistic scoop that Karl Rove had already been indicted.

It was shortly after this revelation and arrest of Rove that William Rivers Pitt became the toast of the journalism world. He quickly left Truthout behind to become a regular guest on MSNBC and a respected pundit published far and wide. He could often be spotted in Peter Luger's steakhouse holding court in his new role as an unofficial member of President Obama's cabinet. Oh, hello Mr. Treasury Secretary. Yes, I would be happy to discuss the effects of tax increases on the economy with you when I find the time. Ah, Bob Shrum! My punditry partner in crime. We must get together sometime soon. Perhaps a joint appearance on Hardball. Yes, yes. I do have a new book deal. Simon & Shuster. I can't say what the advance amount is except that it is in the high 6 figures.

Yes, life is good for Will ever since he broke the scoop that has become known as "Fitzmas." A respected member of the journalism community known far and wide. The road ahead appears to be covered with roses and...

OH GOD!!! What has happened? Why am I now living out a horrible nightmare? How often do I dream of that alternate universe that looked so inevitable just 3 short years ago! A dream now lost! Why? Why? WHY???

Scorned. Humiliated. And, above all, MOCKED! How did I come to this sad fate?

Oh Dear God in Whom I Don't Believe! Why do you hate me so? Would it have been so hard to have tossed me the Karl Rove indictment? It was all but a done deal. David Shuster practically guaranteed that indictment. Was this some sort of sick cosmic joke on your part?

How did I fall into that indictment scoop trap? Hardly an hour goes by when I don't yearn to go back in time and warn myself. WARNING! WARNING! DANGER WILL RIVERS!!! Do NOT listen to that obvious scam artist; the fraud known as Jason Leopold!

Yes, Jason. You and I will have some serious words when next we meet. Words? Hell! I WILL GOUGE OUT YOUR DAMN EYEBALLS!!! RIP OUT YOUR TONGUE AND THEN STOMP ON IT!!! How dare you! How dare you ruin the career of a budding journalist with greatness just around the corner!!! YOU LOUSY LOWLIFE HUSTLER!!! YOU RUINED ME!!!!!

But as mad as I am at the degenerate Leopold, I am even angrier at myself. Why couldn't I have spotted all the many signs that screamed "fraudster" that were staring me in the face? The Washington Post already had an ARTICLE identifying Leopold as a sleazebag liar, cheat, and backstabbing drug addict. What the hell else did I need to see the danger ahead? Instead, I placed my entire future in a Jason Leopold blind trust. Why? Because of that alluring brass ring. Just one inevitable scoop that I could have pretended to break and the world would have been my oyster. IDIOT!!! Yeah, that's what I scream at myself many times a day when I bash my head against the wall in a primal scream of rage: IDIOT! IDIOT! IDIOT!!!

Okay, I feel better now...NOT! Instead of that alternate universe that should have been that was denied me by a God in whom I don't believe, I am now condemned to spend the rest of my days living out hell on earth. And the worst of it is the mockery from that Evil Beaver of the Site that Shall Not Be Named.

So are you proud of me, Mumsy? Your little Sonny Boy has really upheld the long distinguished line of Pitts. William Pitt the Elder. William Pitt the Younger. And now William Pitt the Blunder.

I can try to forget the pain. Oh, how I try. Binges at Bukowski's. Buying drinks for all around so they can be my friends. Sucking down three packs of cigarettes a day and holding the toxic nicotine fumes in my lungs for as long as possible. But it doesn't work. At the end of it all. In the early pre-dawn hours when under the blankets when I cannot sleep, there are the bitter tears. The salt burning into my cheeks like hot acid reminding me of what could have been. What SHOULD have been, DAMMIT!!!

So have a happy Pied Piper Pitt Day, folks! Enjoy yourselves. And if a certain Jason Leopold should show up at your celebrations, tell him that Will doesn't really hold a grudge against him any longer... To HELL with that!!! STOMP HIS UGLY FACE INTO THE GROUND!!! Give him the PAIN that he has given me! SHOW HIM NO MERCY!!!

Oh, and Merry Fitzmas!

Friday, May 08, 2009

DUmmies Blast Pelosi As A Liar

House Speaker Nancy Pelosi poses a HUGE problem for the DUmmies and the rest of the Left. They can't proceed with their beloved investigations of the EVIL Republicans without also prosecuting Pelosi because she knew all about water boarding. Yeah, she denied knowing about it, but newly released CIA memos shows she was fully briefed on this interrogation technique which the liberals are trying to retroactively rebrand as "torture." If they don't also prosecute Pelosi then that would clearly show this inquisition for what it really is: entirely political. Therefore Pelosi has now become necessary roadkill for the left. How does it feel, Nancy? Anyway as you can see the DUmmies are blasting Pelosi as a liar in this THREAD, "Intelligence Report: Pelosi Briefed on Use of Interrogation Tactics in Sept. ’02." So let us now watch the DUmmies sacrifice Nancy Pelosi on the altar of political expediency in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, wondering how many pounds of dry ice it takes to get that frozen face, is in the [brackets]:

Intelligence Report: Pelosi Briefed on Use of Interrogation Tactics in Sept. ’02

[Intelligence Report: Pelosi LIED!!!]

ABC News’ Rick Klein reports: House Speaker Nancy Pelosi was briefed on the use of “enhanced interrogation techniques” on terrorist suspect Abu Zubaydah in September 2002, according to a report prepared by the Director of National Intelligence’s office and obtained by ABC News.

The report, submitted to the Senate Intelligence Committee and other Capitol Hill officials Wednesday, appears to contradict Pelosi’s statement last month that she was never told about the use of waterboarding or other special interrogation tactics. Instead, she has said, she was told only that the Bush administration had legal opinions that would have supported the use of such techniques.

The report details a Sept. 4, 2002 meeting between intelligence officials and Pelosi, then-House intelligence committee chairman Porter Goss, and two aides. At the time, Pelosi was the top Democrat on the House intelligence committee.

The meeting is described as a “Briefing on EITs including use of EITs on Abu Zubaydah, background on authorities, and a description of particular EITs that had been employed.”

[And lots of other Democrats were also briefed, including Senator Jay Rockefeller, but not a peep of protest from them. Deal with it, DUmmies.]

Pelosi is not a fool. She knew perfectly well what was going on.

[Yup, and so did all those other Democrats... p.s. Skinner, I thought we had a nice little chat about removing the new format where I needed to copy and paste DUmmie posts twice. I even publicly thanked you for that removal but now you have reverted to it. This makes my DUFUing job much more difficult. Therefore, to facilitate my DUFUing, I am once again asking you to return to the original DUmmie format where I was able to copy an entire DUmmie post in one quick mouse sweep highlight. Thanx in advance for your cooperation.]

She probably asked if they could "rendition" the homeless in Pacific Heights...

[...And overfeed them with orange glazed chicken and rice pilaf while brutalizing them with air conditioning.]

The woman is evil. But, well, the people of San Francisco love her. I don't love the people of San Francisco. I will never go there again, will never support their businesses again. I look at labels now. Anything from San Francisco is put back on the shelf. My sanctions against an evil empire. Run by an evil Empress. All of this just makes me so ill. They all are complicit in all of it. Obama condemns it. And yet has done nothing to change the policies that allow it. Present tense. Allows it.

[Then you better boycott West Virginia also because Senator Jay Rockefeller also knew all about water boarding.]

Ok, any lawyers out there? What I would like to understand is this, was Pelosi in a position to consult with an attorney prior to/after the briefing? Was she and the others bound by any law not to disclose the information?

[Nancy! Call 1-800-SHYSTER before all water boarding briefings.]

She has Congressional Immunity for any use of classified information. Could NOT be prosecuted. he worst they could do to her would be to cut off further classified briefings. She was perfectly free to demand a halt to torture and disclose this and other classified information, such as the warrantless wiretapping Program, that she was aware of years before it was made known to the public. Pelosi certainly had a moral and a legal right to step up and let the rest of us know about this. But, she failed in that duty.

[To be able to go after all those EVIL Republicans, you must also be willing to sacrifice a lot of Democrats who were also in the know. Somehow I don't think that will be happening.]

The point is she knew about the techniques. And the policies that allowed them to be used.

[Pelosi knew. Jay Rockefeller knew. LOTS of Democrats knew.]

I Don't Care Why Nancy Leaves Public Office, As Long As She Goes and she can take that empty table with her.

[Can she also take her Botox bottle with her?]

Pelosi was only one of the Congressional leaders briefed on this program. She does bear some responsibility just as they all do. The 110th will always be the Torture Congress as far as I'm concerned.

[Which is why you can't prosecute EVIL Republicans without also sacrificing lots of Democrats.]

It's really past time for Americans stop focusing on Party and start focusing on their country or even their own self interest. We're being robbed blind by our government--and not only us. Several generations of our descendants are indebted, well before their grandpappies are gleams in anyone's eye. They are also robbing other countries blind. In our name, with our money, it' been making enemies for us who want to kill us, though we never met them and never will. And our kids and grandkids. It still is, with wars, maybe rendition, and refusal to investigate or prosecute for atrocities. They're raping the planet. Water, air, minerals, fish, wildlife, public lands, everything. Gone or going fast. Including our Constituion and laws. Meanwhile, they are becoming billionairs on our backs and those of our descendants. And we are magpies, distracted by every little thing. It does not even have to be shiny. I'm ready to dump every one of them and start over.

[You left out the part about how they're also causing the ruination of the entire galaxy.]

We have a long and sordid history of illegal, unethical, and immoral behavior.

[We need to emulate the human rights records of North Korea and Cuba.]

We have become complacent and so we have lost sight of the principles this country was founded on. And that is why we are a falling empire.

[Which first arose during an Olympic Hockey game in 1980 to shouts of "USA! USA! USA!"]

If she knew, Pelosi needs to be flushed, right along with all the repukes who created this stench. And any other Dems who passively sat by and acquiesced... flush them too. Whatever it takes.

[Which is why you won't see that flush handle used.]

This is why Obama doesn't wana prosecute. Many colleagues in league with torture.

[Unless he is so bold as to ONLY prosecute Republicans and then try to claim the investigations are non-political.]

Someone commented about how things have changed with Obama. Usually the presidents make the money with the books after they leave the White House. He made the money with the books before the White House. $2.7 million. And more pouring in every day. And he likes it. So does Michelle. That's really the problem. As always, the money. It corrupts it all. That's how the Republicrats recruit. They wave the money around.

[GASP! You dare question the integrity of the mighty OZbama!!!]

Tuesday, May 05, 2009

"Why did Elizabeth Edwards write her new book?"

The DUmmies just can't let go of their erstwhile hero, John Edwards. Despite everything that has happened, they still cling to him to the extent that they are peeved at his wife for writing an (almost) tell-all book about the Breck Girl. I say "almost" because I understand she didn't address whether the daughter of his mistress is really his. I think we already know the answer to that but apparently, Elizabeth prefers not to face that ugly fact. It's strange that the DUmmies are attacking Elizabeth because she is one of the very few public people to actually enter DUmmieland. It was the time the DUmmies were piling on Laura Ingraham when she had breast cancer and Elizabeth entered DUmmieland to tell the DUmmies to try to behave like normal people. Of course they couldn't and now the DUmmies are griping about Elizabeth as you can see in the very title of this THREAD, "Why did Elizabeth Edwards write her new book?" So let us now watch the DUmmies getting peeved over Elizabeth Edwards' book in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, wondering which section of the Edwards palace the mistress is going to end up with, is in the [brackets]:

Why did Elizabeth Edwards write her new book?

[Does it have a CD-ROM insert featuring the many poses of the Silky Pony?]

I honestly don't get her motivation for writing about her husband's affair. Pay back? wanting to get her side of the story out? She's bringing up something that had pretty much died down in the public sphere. Now, with her book and her public appearances, it will be all over the MSM again. How does this impact her young children? Just seems a strange thing to do.

[Yeah, she should just suffer in silence as her hubby continues to lie. And now to the rest of the DUmmies...]

A Woman on the Verge of Divorce Needs Some Lawyer Money

[Take him for every last penny!]

it just seems weird to write something about this now, while her kids are still young and in a vulnerable place.

[Maybe Johnny should have thought of that when his mistress easily seduced him the first time at the hotel bar.]

Edw went on to run for prez AFTER Eliz KNEW about the affair. WHAT A SCUM BAG!

[Edw was Pied Piper Pitt's secret choice which he told us about only AFTER he was safely out of the race.]

So she can ask her husband to help proofread and stuff... "Honey, tell me what's a better title for Chapter Six, 'My Bastard Husband Tore My Heart Out,' or 'Someday I'll Kill The Son-of-a-Bitch in his Sleep.'"


This need to splat your personal experiences all over the tabloids is a bit too much for me. What ever happened to the stiff upper lip?

[Put some ice on it.]

To call the paramour "Pathetic" in the public square, perhaps?
This hasn't died down--that baby is the offspring of JE. The girlfriend was getting ready to go public, according to some sources. Imagine how that little girl will feel as she grows up and realizes that Daddy spent a few years of her life denying her?

[She is just a DNA test away from claiming a big chunk of that NC palace.]

Refusal to acknowledge one's child. To me, that is even lower than cheating on a cancer-stricken wife.

[Even lower than claiming you made big bucks at a hedge fund in order to study poverty?]

There are more than a few contenders for father of that child.

[I think the number of contenders has pretty much been narrowed down to one.]

How many visited the kid at 3:00 a.m. before trying to leave through the basement? Don't even try to call me a "hater". I supported JE, traveled hours to hear him, got his autograph.

[And if you told him that he was "hot" you could have borne a love child as well.]

John has asked her to take a paternity test and she refuses to do so. That tells me she's afraid of the world finding out the truth. For all we know, it's another kid from the same fertility doctor as octomom's. It does raise the issue though, that until the child is completely tested, it is always going to be her word against his. And anyone who blames him without proof is just talking with and to a brick wall, and has absolutely zero credibility doing so.

[One look at that baby's face pretty well shows that any DNA test would be a mere formality.]

Calling her pathetic is pathetic....I really do believe the book is just an attempt to soothe a wounded ego by portraying her husband as a victim the way Hillary Clinton did.

[Pathetically posted the DUmmie.]

Rielle Hunter is pathetic but Elizabeth Edwards doesn't grow in stature by stating the obvious.

[So she should just grin and bear it?]

I feel sorry for Mrs. Edwards. I think she got f*cked over, emotionally, spiritually, and worst of all--IN PUBLIC-- by an asshole of a husband.

[Is that you, Elizabeth?]

maybe she has money, but she is still fighting for her life, and her self. if i were her, my regrets would be unfathomably deep. i would be thinkin' lorena bobbit.

[Uh-oh! I sure hope John is sleeping while wearing a cast iron athletic supporter.]

It's a "short book" they say. Doesn't address "the baby" at know, "the baby" that is the spit image of her husband.

[No DNA test necessary.]

Writing this book shows that she is still not acting completely rationally. JRE really created a nightmare for his entire family and possibly an innocent little girl who may have trouble when she learns of her father.

[An ambulance chaser done in by a paternity suit. Karma.]

My best guess is that this has to do with 1) money, as there's no such thing as "enough" money; 2) attention - those in the limelight grow accustomed to it being there; and/or 3) she wants to run for office herself and grabbing enough of #1 and #2 would certainly help her.

[Or 4) payback.]

The big question is... will she do the book pimping interviews with or without her hubby...

[She should go on Maury Povich and then John Edwards shows up for a "You the Daddy" episode.]

$he's just trying to get her $ide of the $tory out there.

[Is that you, Bev Harri$?]

John and Elizabeth rock! Always have, always will!

[It sounds like Miss Hunter was the one doing the rocking.]

My one regret is that I supported Edwards in the primaries.

[Fool me once, fool me once again.]

I don't get all the sympathy here - she was a partner in the cover-up of her husband's affair and had he been the nominee or considered for VP he could have destroyed the 2008 election. She could have outed him and his lies. Now she wants to make a profit off the story. bah. Greedy.

[Unlike the saintly Barack Obama.]

Monday, May 04, 2009

DUmmies Watch Former Hero Edwards Being Investigated

It's hard to remember now but only a little over a year ago, John Edwards was THE choice of most of the DUmmies for the nomination. Of Hillary, The One, and the Breck Girl, the latter was overwhelmingly preferred. Even the carefully non-committal Pied Piper Pitt claimed Edwards was his preference but, in typically safe fashion, only AFTER Edwards dropped out of the nomination race. This shows you just how much the DUmmies were able to discern just how much of a phony Edwards was. And now that Edwards is being investigated for funneling campaign funds and maybe his pet poverty program dough for payoffs to his mistress, the DUmmies are looking upon their erstwhile hero with great sadness as you can see in this THREAD, "Feds are looking at Edwards' campaign." So let us now watch the DUmmies express deep sadness at the fall of John Edwards in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, wondering if there is a Playstation3 sale at Walmart, is in the [brackets]:

Feds are looking at Edwards' campaign

[Why don't they just ask Johnny Boy? He'll tell them the truth, right?]

Feds are looking at Edwards' campaign
Investigators dig through records to see if donors' money was used to cover up affair with campaign worker.
By Mandy Locke

[And all this time I thought his donors' money was used to buy stuff like a Playstation3 on the sly from Walmart.]

RALEIGH Federal investigators are sifting through the records of money that helped John Edwards' presidential campaign to determine if any was used to keep quiet his affair with Rielle Hunter.

[For a long time, the MSM was performing this task for him gratis.]

Edwards, a Democrat and former U.S. senator, acknowledged the investigation to The News & Observer.

“I am confident that no funds from my campaign were used improperly,” Edwards said in a statement.

“However, I know that it is the role of government to ensure that this is true. We have made available to the United States both the people and the information necessary to help them get the issue resolved efficiently and in a timely matter. We appreciate the diligence and professionalism of those involved and look forward to a conclusion.”

[What's amazing here is that Edwards has millions of bucks. Just look at his vast North Carolina estate. The payoffs were only $15,000 per month but he was apparently too cheap to pay out of pocket and, as a result, now faces this investigation. Now on to the DUmmie reaction...]

What a fall...I really like Edwards. I was always riveted by his speeches. I had such high hopes for him. Turns out, he's just as average as the rest of us.

[Just as slimy as the average DUmmie. p.s. Thank you, Head DUmmie Skinner for restoring the old DUmmieland format. Now I don't have to copy the first sentence and the body of the DUmmie posts separately. Your cooperation in this matter is greatly appreciated since it definitely facilitates my DUFU producing ability.]

Nothing like an affair to spur the Feds on . . . while corrupt capitalism destroys America--!!!

[Oh, yeah. We all remember how Edwards made big bucks from a hedge fund...but ONLY in order to study poverty in America.]

I suppose it is because I am an old crank that the Feds are digging around in Edwards' files to see if his girlfriend got money, that makes me see red. They could use their time better by digging around in TORTURE files. Edwards has been punished by the whole country as well as his wife and he will continue to be punished. Enough is enough! He left the stage a long time ago.

[TORTURE files full of info about prisoners being overfed orange glaze chicken and rice pilaf. Oh, and that air conditioning set to freezing levels of 69 degrees rather than allow the prisoners to merely swelter in the tropical Gitmo heat.]

Holder should purge the DoJ of EVERY Repuke appointee tomorrow any of them who didn't get fired are corrupt partisans who have no business getting tax money to practice their version of the law. Then as soon as their replacements are in office, all of the Repukes should be investigated and imprisoned - in real prison.

[Being a Republican is a Thought Crime. Case closed. No trials needed.]

I hope Edwards simply used his own money, but funneled it through his friends so Elizabeth wouldn't see it.

[So you're saying that you hope that Edwards is merely a liar, not a crook and a liar.]

I agree that Edwards could have justified the haircut, but that is not what he chose. He chose to say that he had intended to pay it out of his own money, but there was an error on the part of the person who made the payment from his campaign fund when the barber's bill showed up there. Do I believe that? No. I think he or someone speaking for him told the barber to bill his campaign.

[And bill the campaign for that cucumber cream facial.]

This is a simple case of political corruption, caused by John Edwards. No relationship to the other matter.

[Remember that he was once the hero of most DUmmies and given their seal of approval.]

ever since I saw his interview on Nightline about the affair, I have no more trust for Edwards

[But until that moment you suffered gullibility in the extreme.]

I thought so long before that. This guy is a snake-oil salesman. I have no idea how many posts I had deleted on here for saying that the guy was a lying, two-faced, charlatan who shouldn't be trusted. Oh well. Being right doesn't pay the bills. Poor schmucks who donated to his campaign are out of luck though - no money will be going back to them.

[How about the poor DUmmie schmucks who donated to lying, two-faced charlatan BBV Bev Harris?]

I know the nature of the political process, so I should not be surprised, but I am sadend. I sincerely hope that President Obama, a product of the same system, is indeed something Different. However, I don't expect anything New until we have Campaign Finance Reform and Paper Ballots counted in public.

[President Obama, product of the Chicago political machine, corrupt? Naw! Impossible!]

I'm more and more convinced that his populism was a cynical BSing act. Smooth-talker with self-control issues..

[Are you actually casting aspersions upon his claim that he made big bucks from a hedge fund in order to investigate poverty in America?]

He always came off sleezy.

[Posting that a year ago in DUmmieland would have meant a tombstoning ceremony for you.]

I thought Edwards was honest and captivating when he spoke of the two Americas. And he may well still be truthful about that. Men tend to lie about their peccadillos, while remaining honest in other aspects of their lives and profession.

[DUmmie Indiana Green: I BEEEEEEEEELEEEEEEVE!!!]

I can't believe the suckers around here. couldn 't believe it before the news of the affair came out, can't believe it even more now.

[Is that you, Bev Harris?]

When the word came out about this affair I felt so sad for Elizabeth. She has a terminal form of cancer, she's lost her son, and now her husband, the man who swore to love her no matter what fathered a child with some twit because the girl said he was HOT? Come on now.

[I'm too sexy for my face! Too sexy for my face!]

I never could stand johny hedge fund. I knew he was a corporatist phony long before his stupid little affair. He was a war cheering asshole. he went to work for a very sleazy hedge fund and invested big bucks in it. hey, he made money off of NO victims and rank mortgages. and why should he be above the law? I can't believe there are still people here so blind and f*cking stupid that they still believe he ever gave a shit about anyone but himself.

[You mean his hedge fund shtick wasn't for investigating poverty?]

I hated that JE was a coporatist creep who lied his ass off and used poverty issues for his own gain. people who care about poverty do not vote for shitty bankruptcy bills and they sure as f*ck don't go to work for big bucks for hedge funds and lie about it.

[Your reservation aboard Edwards' bus during his next poverty tour has just been canceled.]

John Edwards' "Two Americas" populist rhetoric was all an act.

[GASP! Next you will be telling me there is no Santa Claus!]

I can't believe how dumb I was for trusting this man. I voted for him in the primary. Is he a psychopath, like Bernard Madoff, do you think?

[Hey, John Kerry can vouch for him.]

John Edwards even had the look in his eyes at certain times that screamed "evil!" at me. I have no doubt he has had serious psychiatric issues for years. I know, diagnosis from afar is pointless, but speculation? I can do that with the best of them!

[That look in his eyes sure had you hypnotized with awe not so long ago.]

i, too, voted to him in the primaries. i think that he would have made a good president . . . without this character flaw, of course.

[Just one teenie weenie flaw.]

Democrats get investigated, Republicans walk. Same as it ever was.

[Yeah, Republicans walk but only after they conveniently lose their elections. Just ask Ted Stevens.]

I weep. What a disappointment.

[John Edwards has another bridge to sell you.]