Friday, June 13, 2008

"Obama's astrological chart"

The FUnniest thing about this DUmmie THREAD titled, "Obama's astrological chart," isn't so much the subject matter as the fact that it was posted in the DUmmie Presidential forum. Normally such astrological analysis is posted in their Astrology forum but I guess enough DUmmies take astrology so seriously that this was allowed in the much busier Presidential forum. So let us now watch the DUmmies take the divining properties of chunks of mud and rock whirling through the ether in complete seriousness while the commentary of your humble correspondent, waiting for a prognostication of the election via analyzing chicken entrails, is in the [barackets]:

Obama's astrological chart

[Where the moon rises in Uranus.]

It's like a road map and a good astrologer can read what to watch out for and the best times to take advantages of oportunities to name a couple things. And, it's only as good as the astrologer one has.

[An astrologer who is a certified graduate of Kook U.]

There's a forum established for discussing this faith ("Spirituality") without "ridicule" or critical examination, but GD:P isn't it.

[No, no. General Discussion: Presidential is the PERFECT place for this astrology thread.]

Obama is a Leo, great sign for leadership

[I once knew a Jason Leo-pold.]

I've got a bucket of chicken guts that proves this chart wrong.


Apparently the astrological community has reached some level of concensus about the meaning of chiron because a lot of astrologers have been including it in their charts lately. Some astrologers do include other minor bodies in the solar system in their charts in attemp to derive the meaning if any. Most bodies in the solar system haven't been known long enough for astrologers to have settled on a meaning yet.

[I'm guessing that a meeting of the "astrological community" would look like a New Age version of the bar scene in Star Wars.]

Chiron, from what I've been told... represents the "Wounded Healer" archtype.

[Silly me. All this time I thought it represented the LIGHTWORKER "archtype."]

Uranus, Neptune, and Pluto have interpretations that are very similar to Mercury, Venus, and Mars respectively. The "ancients" didn't know those planets existed, and Saturn was considered to be the outermost planet -- hence several of its interpretations (restriction, boundaries, limitations, karma). When people started interpreting the outer planets, it seems like they interpreted them to be of similar energies to the inner planets, but "a higher octave" in the words of an astrology buff I know.

[So astrological predictions were fined tuned to "a higher octave" by Uranus?]

Barack has Mars and Pluto in his seventh house. The seventh house is relationships and partnerships. Mars usually is associated with anger and passion, Pluto with sex, death, rebirth, transformation, psychotherapy, "intense" energy. Mars and Pluto are both in Virgo, but the sign that an outer planet is in is generally not as important as the house. Virgo energy is hard-working, perfectionism.

[So what house does Barack keep Uranus in?]

In my experience, I've used astrology over the last 40 years as a relationship tool. The personality traits may seem generalized, but I find them true to form. Put a bunch of us Cancers together and you'll hear a lot of, "can I get you anything?" "are you comfortable?" along with tea and sympathy.

HOROSCOPES are a whole other ball game. What you see in the newspaper is ENTERTAINMENT. You can't "tell the future" with astrology.

[A DUmmie sets us straight. Horoscopes are fake but astrology is the real deal.]

I believe in astrology to some extent...
from my own personal studies of over 25 years. Big changes in life can be predicted by the aspects of Saturn. It takes @ 28 years to orbit your chart. It is a stern professor. Mars is a planet of energy. You may procrastinate and put off decisions but when Mars is in the right aspect, you will act on your decisions. Venus is a planet of emotions and love. Your eye will wander when Venus is in your Sun sign. Mercury is the planet of communications, which at the present is in retrograde in Gemini, and will go forward around the 20th of this month. You can write and communicate better under good aspects of Mercury.

[You only believe in astrology "to some extent?" It sounds like you've swallowed it hook, line, and sinker.]

Since I've been appying astrology to my life since the early '80's, it's been very helpful in analyzing why I did certain things in my past and how to change things I didn't like about myself. It's really been invaluble to me but I know it's obviously not for everyone.

[Apparently it didn't help you change your incredible gullibility.]

That would be interesting! I need to find out when and what time and where he was born

[Why don't you check Obama's "birth certificate" now online? It has been authenticated by Dan Rather.]

Are there any peer-reviewed scientific journals verifying the mechanism by which astrology functions? If there were, most if not all of the people who are criticizing this thread would come around.

[Hey, just check your own DUmmie Astrology forum for verifying the mechanism by which astrology functions.]

I have heard some astrologers refer to Chiron as the missing piece of the puzzle, and I will it admit that it's inclusion in my chart points to a significant event in my childhood that was not indicated anywhere else in the chart.

[Elron (Hubbard) pointed to significant events in Tom Cruise's childhood.]

My astrologer told me last week that they had a new birth time on Senator Obama and that he was actually Aquarius Rising and not Scorpio Rising as first thought. She seemed to indicate that Leo with Aquarius Rising was more fortuitous for Senator Obama's work. That would also change the houses that the planets fall in his chart.

[Did your astrology also tell you that they had a new birth "certificate" on Senator Obama?]

This woman is a true authority and she was excited about him being Aquarius Rising. She thought that the power structure was going to try everything possible to stop him. And she really got an ominous tone on that point. But she felt that We, The People would say enough. We are moving from a Saturn influence to a Mercury phase.

[While skipping Uranus?]

In Chinese astrology 1961 would be the year of the Ox.

[In Hebrew astrology 1961 would be the year of the Lox.]

Venus in Cancer is also obvious -- I recall earlier discussions here about how Obama tends to exhibit more "feminine" characteristics in his approach to politics than Hillary Clinton does. He really DOES care -- and in the 5th house (the natural home of Leo), that care and nurturing extends to the larger group and his place in that group as a responsible leader giving of himself for the greater good.

[Even more than the Breck Girl?]

And until the materialists can scientifically explain what existed BEFORE the "Big Bang" then I submit that we are on equal grounds in terms of defining "reality".

[NOTHING existed BEFORE the "Big Bang" because time itself didn't exist. BTW, I found the Nova program last night about Einstein's discoveries about Time, Matter, and Energy to be much more interesting than whether the moon is rising in Uranus.]

There is no "before" the big bang. Space-time comes to a singularity at that particular point. There is not before, above, to the left of, or anything of the sort, because those dimensions exist within and are defined by the universe.

[I'm still wrestling with the concept that EVERYTHING in the universe began in something much much smaller than an atom. Much more fascinating than astrology.]

I've also heard you can learn a lot about a person by
reading the residue of their butt candles.

[Ben Burch dreams of candles rising in Uranus.]


Anonymous Anonymous said...

I just got banned at DU. I don't even know what I did!!

8:55 AM  
Blogger Son Of The Godfather said...

anonymous, it's likely you displayed common sense... it's like DUmmie RAID.

9:32 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You guys are so dead on. Astrology is so much more absurd that waiting for the fleshy son of an imaginary god to majically come back from the grave!

i hope he sees his shadow, so we get a short winter!


9:58 AM  
Blogger Son Of The Godfather said...

anonymous at 9:58AM... By your writing style, I can tell you're a Cancer in Uranus rising.

(and Jesus loves you anyhow! ;)

10:22 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The previous message is approved by:
L. Ron Hoover, and the First Church of Appliantology.

'After all, you can't come out of the closet unless you first go into the closet!'

Thanks to "Joes Garage" by F. Zappa

10:28 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"This woman is a true authority and she was excited about him being Aquarius Rising."

Is this the dawning of the Age of Aquarius?

10:46 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Are these the same morons that think a belief in God is mere superstition?

And yet they think that the position of celestial hunks of rock millions of miles away from Earth impart personality traits to human beings! There is absolutely zero scientific evidence that astrology is anything but imaginary alchemy.

11:17 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Just think, these people may actually be old enough to vote.


2:41 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Did you hear about the four DUmmies who played poker with a deck of Tarot cards? One drew a full house and the other three fell dead.

9:47 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think the moonbat Miss Cleo is on to something. My latest reading of Spotted Owl entrails tells me that a left of center candidate will be elected. Seeing as Obamaessiah is a Socialist, and Mccain is a liberal RINO. The entrails are dead on. Now I see why the Spotted Owl is an endangered spieces.

8:18 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Anonymous said...
I just got banned at DU. I don't even know what I did!!

You probably spelled America the right way. Instead of Amerika or Amerikkka. Proper spelling is a dead give away you're a troll.

8:22 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Astrology is so much more absurd that waiting for the fleshy son of an imaginary god to majically come back from the grave!" anon

Yes. Libra with Aquarius rising or the Talking Snake...hmmm. Difficult choice.

Being a lib, I'd rather not think about the many roads to insanity and just smoke the bitchin reefer. Although it's been pretty tough to get hold of recently because of gas prices or something. I read it here first.

2:31 AM  

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