"Is Obama an enlightened being?"

Break out your barf bags. You're going to really need it while reading this edition of the DUmmie FUnnies which features an overdose of treacle in the form of unquestioning Obama worship. You can get an idea of just how far gone the Left has become just by looking at the title of the Mark Morford San Francisco Chronicle ARTICLE ---"Is Obama an enlightened being?" Of course, the DUmmies have answered that question in the affirmative as you can see in this THREAD. The FUnnie thing here is that the same DUmmies who slam conservatives as a bunch of superstitious "fundies," blindly accept the notion that Obama is some sort of godlike being with a supernatural aura. Meanwhile I can picture Moses sitting atop Mt. Sinai saying something like: "Hey DUmmies! Did you idiots ever notice that Commandment #1 states that 'Thou shalt have no other gods before me' followed by Commandment #2 which declares that 'Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image'?" Of course, the DUmmies would sooner believe that astrology, with the moon rising in Uranus, has more validity than the Ten Commandments. So let us now join the DUmmies in the middle of their Obama Worship service while the commentary of your humble correspondent, reminding all Druids out there that there will be a bingo game following the Wednesday night Oak Worship service, is in the [barackets]:

Mark Morford: Is Obama an enlightened being?

[But of course.]

Spiritual wise ones say: This sure ain't no ordinary politician. You buying it?

[Yes! YES! I am not worthy of our beloved Obamassiah!]

I find I'm having this discussion, this weird little debate, more and more, with colleagues, with readers, with liberals and moderates and miserable, deeply depressed Republicans and spiritually amped persons of all shapes and stripes and I'm having it in particular with those who seem confused, angry, unsure, thoroughly nonplussed, as they all ask me the same thing: What the hell's the big deal about Obama?

[He is just too good for us!]

I, of course, have an answer. Sort of.

[Stand by to activate your barf bags!]

Warning: If you are a rigid pragmatist/literalist, itchingly evangelical, a scowler, a doubter, a burned-out former '60s radical with no hope left, or are otherwise unable or unwilling to parse alternative New Age speak, click away right now, because you ain't gonna like this one little bit.

[Warning: If you have the slightest sense of rationality, click away right now, to avoid the nausea attack.]

Ready? It goes likes this:

[I'm ready. I have my mouth directly over my open barf bag.]

Barack Obama isn't really one of us. Not in the normal way, anyway.

[The Obamassiah is BETTER than us. ]

This is what I find myself offering up more and more in response to the whiners and the frowners and to those with broken or sadly dysfunctional karmic antennae - or no antennae at all - to all those who just don't understand and maybe even actively recoil against all this chatter about Obama's aura and feel and MLK/JFK-like vibe.

[I'm feeling the Jim/Jones-like vibe watching the Left blindly swallow the Obama worship Kool-aid.]

To them I say, all right, you want to know what it is? The appeal, the pull, the ethereal and magical thing that seems to enthrall millions of people from all over the world, that keeps opening up and firing into new channels of the culture normally completely unaffected by politics?

[Blind cult-like worship is what it is.]

No, it's not merely his youthful vigor, or handsomeness, or even inspiring rhetoric. It is not fresh ideas or cool charisma or the fact that a black president will be historic and revolutionary in about a thousand different ways. It is something more. Even Bill Clinton, with all his effortless, winking charm, didn't have what Obama has, which is a sort of powerful luminosity, a unique high-vibration integrity.

[LOL! I used to know a New Age scam artist in L.A. who used those exact same words when hustling bucks out of gullible rich chicks. He would tell them that they had a "powerful luminosity" and a "unique high-vibration intergrity" or something real close to that.]

Dismiss it all you like, but I've heard from far too many enormously smart, wise, spiritually attuned people who've been intuitively blown away by Obama's presence - not speeches, not policies, but sheer presence - to say it's just a clever marketing ploy, a slick gambit carefully orchestrated by hotshot campaign organizers who, once Obama gets into office, will suddenly turn from perky optimists to vile soul-sucking lobbyist whores, with Obama as their suddenly evil, cackling overlord.

[I can picture Mark Morford fainting dead away in the presence of the Obamassiah after wetting his pants in ectasy.]

Here's where it gets gooey. Many spiritually advanced people I know (not coweringly religious, mind you, but deeply spiritual) identify Obama as a Lightworker, that rare kind of attuned being who has the ability to lead us not merely to new foreign policies or health care plans or whatnot, but who can actually help usher in a new way of being on the planet, of relating and connecting and engaging with this bizarre earthly experiment. These kinds of people actually help us evolve. They are philosophers and peacemakers of a very high order, and they speak not just to reason or emotion, but to the soul.

[Yeah, ushering in a new way of being on the planet is all fine and dandy but is Obama a member of the IBLW, the International Brotherhood of Lightworkers? Remember, we want only union workers.]

The unusual thing is, true Lightworkers almost never appear on such a brutal, spiritually demeaning stage as national politics. This is why Obama is so rare. And this why he is so often compared to Kennedy and Martin Luther King Jr., to those leaders in our culture whose stirring vibrations still resonate throughout our short history.

[Yeah, old man Joe Kennedy paying off county sheriffs in the 1960 West Virginia primary to support his son because he was a deeply spiritual Lightworker, unwilling to dirty his hands with mere politics.]

Are you rolling your eyes and scoffing? Fine by me. But you gotta wonder, why has, say, the JFK legacy lasted so long, is so vital to our national identity? Yes, the assassination canonized his legend. The Kennedy family is our version of royalty. But there's something more. Those attuned to energies beyond the literal meanings of things, these people say JFK wasn't assassinated for any typical reason you can name. It's because he was just this kind of high-vibration being, a peacemaker, at odds with the war machine, the CIA, the dark side. And it killed him.

[I somehow recall reading about how that particular peacemaking Lightworker used the CIA to assassinate Diem in South Vietnam but what do I know?]

Now, Obama. The next step. Another try. And perhaps, as Bush laid waste to the land and embarrassed the country and pummeled our national spirit into disenchanted pulp and yet ironically, in so doing has helped set the stage for an even larger and more fascinating evolutionary burp, we are finally truly ready for another Lightworker to step up.

[Right now I am experiencing an evolutionary barf into my bag.]

Let me be completely clear: I'm not arguing some sort of utopian revolution, a big global group hug with Obama as some sort of happy hippie camp counselor. I'm not saying the man's going to swoop in like a superhero messiah and stop all wars and make the flowers grow and birds sing and solve world hunger and bring puppies to schoolchildren.

[You could have fooled me.]

Please. I'm also certainly not saying he's perfect, that his presidency will be free of compromise, or slimy insiders, or great heaps of politics-as-usual. While Obama's certainly an entire universe away from George W. Bush in terms of quality, integrity, intelligence and overall inspirational energy, well, so is your dog. Hell, it isn't hard to stand far above and beyond the worst president in American history.

[GASP! How dare you even suggest that the Obamassiah might possibly have imperfections like the rest of us mere mortals? Heretic!]

But there simply is no denying that extra kick. As one reader put it to me, in a way, it's not even about Obama, per se. There's a vast amount of positive energy swirling about that's been held back by the armies of BushCo darkness, and this energy has now found a conduit, a lightning rod, is now effortlessly self-organizing around Obama's candidacy. People and emotions and ideas of high and positive vibration are automatically draw to him. It's exactly like how Bush was a magnet for the low vibrational energies of fear and war and oppression and aggression, but, you know, completely reversed. And different. And far, far better.

[Morford pontificating on the darkness of the EVIL BushCo land of Mordor.]

Don't buy any of it? Think that's all a bunch of tofu-sucking New Agey bulls-- and Obama is really a dangerously elitist political salesman whose inexperience will lead us further into darkness because, when you're talking national politics, nothing, really, ever changes? I understand. I get it. I often believe it myself.

Not this time.

[Now that Mark Morford has proudly announced that he is swallowing up the Obamassiah Kool-aid, let us now join the DUmmies as they continue this Obama worship service...]

He's something very, very special, this little boy the world tossed us.

[Who you calling "boy," you racist?]

It's just so rare to see it all come together like this, that it's no wonder it inspires awe.

[Your Rubber Room reservation has been set for November.]

I have been saying this for months. Obama is more highly evolved than any politician I have seen. He is a great example of how we all should be acting - acceptance, tolerance, not stooping to the level of negative people, not fighting back, remaining calm and thoughtful in all scenarios. He is amazing to me. I resonate with the way he treats others. I think the country is in for a huge spiritual overhaul, something we sorely need.

[Do you wet your pants first before fainting in the presence of the Obamassiah or is it the other way around?]

Uh, and people still wonder where the "cultist" label comes from? I suppose next we'll have the laying on of hands...

[Why not? We already have the groveling at his feet?]

Real & true lightworkers are generally humble and they are not hierarchical or exclusionary at all.

[Oh, you happen to have a copy of the IBLW union rules?]

Obama is no GWB and will not use the "God" thing to do evil things.

[He's the ONE. Obama will use the "Matrix" thing to do progressive things.]

It could be, though I always thought of Kucinich as being one of the Lightworkers. It will be interesting to see what happens in the Obama Administration--you are known by your works--even Lightworkers.

[Hmmm... So would that make William Rivers Pitt a Judas Iscariot for betraying his beloved Lightworker?]

Our culture is undergoing a massive shift, right here and now. Bring on the Lightworkers.

[Remember, the IBLW unions requires that all its Lightworkers be paid overtime for anything more than 40 hours of labor per week.]

He's not the Second Coming of Christ, or a manifestation of the Dalai Lama. Set his bar too high and he will fail, guaranteed, and it will be your fault.

[Please continue setting the bar too high. Hee! Hee!]

Calling him an enlightened being is a form of worship. Worshipping people leads to the destruction of both the people and their followers.

[Remember Moses and the first two commandments.]

From what I've seen of both men, I conclude that Obama is a much more enlightened person than the Dalai Lama.

[No Tibetan sand paintings for this DUmmie.]

I was skeptical about Obama too, but now I'm thinking he's the Real Deal. Have no problem seeing him as a Lightworker.

[A DUmmie has entered The Matrix and has accepted Obama as The One.]

But try to deify him and you'll get people thinking he's the Anti-christ.

[I'm from Florida so I can't get past the concept of the Anti-crist.]

Lightworker"?? Dude, that's f*cking woo-woo up the wazoo.
Gawd, I hate that soft-headed new age bullshit.

[Then you better not visit the DUmmieland Astrology forum or you'll end up with woo-woo up Uranus.]

Like it or not (I don't), espousing Christian dogma WILL shore up support for a presidential candidate in America. As an atheist, I thin k the whole thing stinks, HOWEVER, I'm talking pragmatism here: presenting Obama as a church-going regular guy helps working-class and middle-of-the-road voters relate to him, while putting the "lightworker" robe on the guy will assist in reigning in the crystal-licking astral travelling chakra-aligning vote. The former voter bloc is much larger than the latter and hence more important. Again, talking pragmatism, not intellectual consistency. Both of 'em are full of shit, IMO, but I understand it's necessary to appeal to one of the two, and to distance oneself from the other, in order to get votes. That's just how it is.

[TRANSLATION: I don't buy any of this but we will just cynically use it to gain votes for Obama.]

I think I understand, I disagree about Obama being a "lightbringer" however its defined...

[So would a "lightburger" be defined as a hamburger for people who are on a diet?]

Personally I think Obama is the Übermensch.

[Look! Up there in the sky! It's ÜBERMAN!!!]

Starry eyed, false flag mythic Dictatorship is over. Democratic open government begins

[As we worship, with starry eyes, the mythic Lightworker---Übermensch.]

I don't know what to think of Obama sometimes. He sometimes reminds me of an old wise man. Someone who has lived a thousand years and understands humanity more than others. He is a rather calm and centered man. Who knows. I think he has the qualities of a great leader.

[Ha! I beat out Obama. Read my DUmmie FUnnies profile where it states that your humble correspondent is a 30,000 year old reincarnated being from the fifth dimension who materializes in a Las Vegas hotel suite once every 5000 years. I guess that makes me a 32nd degree Lightworker.]

I believe there are beings more enlightened than most, and that they do have some connection to the cosmos that many lack or have undeveloped. They're not magic and they don't have superpowers. They have highly attuned ordinary traits and characteristics. It's not a stretch to believe Obama is such a person. It's also not a stretch to believe he is more spiritual than the religious figures who make a living pretending to be leaders, like the Pope or the Dalai Lama. Whatever Obama is, he's not a old man who was picked by other old men to head a fascist, feudal organization which treats him as spiritually transcendent.

[So is Obama more enlightened than Rev. Wright or Father Pfleger?]