Tuesday, June 03, 2008

"My Evening With Harriet Christian"

One of the more entertaining events of the weekend was the OUTBURST by Hillary Clinton supporter, Harriet Christian, against Barack Obama. I'm sure many of you are wondering just exactly WHO she is. However, I'm not so sure most of you would hang out with her until 2 in the morning to find out. Therefore kudos to HUffington POst blogger, Will Bower, who had the fortitude to spend the evening with Harriet and report back to us in his HUffie BLOG titled, "My Evening With Harriet Christian." So let us now hang out with Harriet in paint the town Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, who would need a LOT of drinks to put up with Harriet's voice until the wee hours, is in the [brackets]:

My Evening With Harriet Christian

[I would love to post a thread titled, "My Evening With Petra Verkaik."]

It was when the DNC's Rules & Bylaws Committee made its ruling on Michigan that Harriet Christian came into my life.

[Lucky you.]

From a few rows behind me, her piercing, wizened, New York voice rang out through the awkward silences in the auditorium of the Marriott Wardman Park Hotel.

[As sweet a voice as a truckdriver.]

I wish now I could remember each and everything she said. All I remember is that I was glad she was saying it. The DNC had just committed a crime, and I was happy that there was someone unashamed to reveal her fury to all those present.

[So how is that unity thing working out for you, Democrats?]

As we all exited the ballroom -- many of us in disgust -- I saw the cameras swarm in on our Harriet. I decided to stay and watch her in her glory.

[Comedy act mixed with Primal Scream.]

In fact, I have a confession to make. It was I who encouraged Harriet to stay and to face the cameras. Each time she wanted to storm from the lobby in a fiery exeunt, it was I who stopped her, consoled her, turned her around, and told her "Your anger needs to be heard, friend. Don't stop."

[Don't stop the entertainment.]

Did I think that she could have been more coherent at first? Yes, I did. Did I feel that she was flirting with the edge of reason? Yes, I did. Would I have had her change a thing? No, I wouldn't.

[Stay just the way you are, Harriet. Primal Scream Democrats are FUn to watch!]

I would like to add that I don't condone any correlation between the words "black" and "inadequate." It is my belief that she was not *equating* "black" with "inadequate." I believe she was saying that *Obama* is inadequate, and that he is where he is because of affirmative action tactics -- much as Geraldine Ferraro has said, and not unlike Joe Biden's misspeak last year. Again, though, not words I personally would have ever chosen.

[Said Will, already distancing himself from Harriet having just introduced her to us.]

Many have criticized Harriet for what is being categorized as her "circus antics." What they call "antics," I call the red blood of Democracy. She was angry. She was angry as I was angry. We were angry as thousands of people were angry. That anger needed a voice that wasn't couched behind cold, intellectually dishonest reason.

[I guess there's no need to question Harriet as to whether she found her angry yet.]

The DNC had committed an act of war, and Harriet was firing back with bullets of passion. Was she the best marksman? Perhaps not. But did she reveal to America the depth of frustration that many, many people are feeling right now? That she did.

[Looking forward to seeing Harriet at the Democrat convention this summer. ON TO DENVER!!!]

We all know that -- had she been as calm and collected as so many of you feel she should have been -- that she wouldn't have the nearly 800,000 YouTube hits she now does. Her voice has been heard.

[A voice that can strip wallpaper off the side of your home. BTW, is it my imagination or have I heard that same voice before many times from hardened deli waitresses?]

Is that to say that I believe that Harriet was seeking attention? Not at all. As I've said, it was I who kept the fires of encouragement lit beneath her. She has since confessed to me many a time how she now fears that her emotions might be used to hurt Hillary Clinton's campaign. That is the last thing she wants. She simply wanted to cry out against injustice... as so many of us often want to do, but so few of us actually do.

[I've heard that voice many times cry out my order for for corned beef on rye.]

And, for the record: No, she hadn't been drinking. I had the fortune of talking with Harriet well into the night that night. (It was 2am when we finally said "Good night" to one another). While I was knocking back my white Russians and my margaritas, she touched nothing but her Diet Coke. She hasn't touched alcohol since 1985. The only thing she was drunk on that afternoon was indignation.

[I'd have to knock back quite a few white Russians and margaritas to hang out with Harriet until 2 am.]

I hope you will all take the time to get to know Harriet as I have. Harriet is salty. Harriet is a firecracker. Harriet is many things. But Harriet is not a lunatic. She is a life long New Yorker who has worked for civil rights for over forty years. She's a woman full of life and passion. She's a woman who gave her emotions free reign for a few well-televised minutes.

[It almost sounds like you were struck by Cupid's arrow. Did you smoke afterwards?]

Let those of you who have not exploded in anger cast the first stone... whether or not you were on TV when you did so.

[I never exploded in anger in quite the manner of Harriet Christian. However, let us now watch the reaction to Harriet from the other HUffies...]

A crime? Are you out of your mind? Obama wasn't on the ballot. Hillary said herself that Michigan wouldn't count. Were they supposed to hand her everything she wants now because she's whining? Harriet's words about Obama weren't words you would have chosen, huh? Yet you were so helpful to present them to us here. She, and I have to suppose, you too, would vote for McSame over a candidate from her own party, just because he's black. Watching this is like watching the death of the old Democratic party, and if Harriet represents it's red blood, all I can say is good riddance.

[Does this mean you won't be singing Kumbaya with Harriet?]

Thanks for getting her to stay and gace the cameras. I haven't laughed so hard since this whole nomination saga started! Many, many thanks.

[Harriet certainly did deliver in the comedy department.]

Whatever your motivations, and Harriet Christian's, she came off looking like a loony tune and certainly did Hillary Clinton no favors.

[Watching loony tunes is very interesting.]

No Harriet! No Will Bower! I feel no sense of warmth for Harriet. Since she and I have been in the same party for over 20 years, in case you think that I think the way she does, I denounce and reject her..

[Don't forget to cast her into Purgatory.]

We are angry at the DNC for not stepping up and backing Hillary when she was attacked. And we were angered again when they took delegates from her and gave them to Obama. If he wins, he should win fair and this isn't fair. The DNC can forget me and my vote in November. I'll write in Hillary's name on my ballot. If McCain wins? Then perhaps the DNC will finally get it through their thick heads what they will need to do to get a candidate to win the white house.

[Maybe you could write in Harriet's name on either the ballot or your deli order.]

you see that's the very problem. you give up alcohol and replace it with righteous indignation. it's just not healthy. i want to reach out to these women and teach them yoga or something. seems like they've been whipped into this frenzy and the author certainly egged her on. perhaps it's cathartic. we can only hope so!

[It's that alcohol deprived anger that gives Harriet her comedy edge.]

She was on Neil Cavuto tonight and was great. She was not a lunatic, much calmer, but still very passionate. She feels the way many of Hillary's supporters feel and will do the same when voting in November.

[Did Harriet bark out a corned beef sandwich order for Neil?]

Oh, please. This is a tantrum, plain and simple. Dress it up as righteous indignation, call it "the red blood of democracy," call the DNC compromise an "act of war." What a lot of self-important, pretentious hogwash to dress up the ranting of a sore loser! Does anyone imagine this person is this incensed about a compromise that cost her candidate 4 lousy votes, votes that wouldn't have come close to giving her the nomination? Frustrated and furious that HER candidate is not preferred by most Democrats, Ms. Christian is behaving like a four-year-old who can't have the toy she wants.

[Anthropoligists need to record and preserve gravely deli waitress voices like Harriet's. Someday that unique sound will be Gone With The Wind.]

I'm betting Harriet has never heard of Youtube. Just knowing about the existence of Youtube has caused me to stop my public drunkenness. If only Harriet had known.

[She has become the most famous person in the world who happens to have a deli waitress voice.]

As a native New Yorker, Harriet embarrassed us. Please Harriet lose the accent. She calls her self a second class citizen and lives in Manhattan---that's an oxymoron.

[The accent that launched a thousand pastrami sandwiches.]

Correct me if you see another vision of Harriet Christian, but here is how I envision her.

A chain smoker.
Hits the bar every evening looking for Mr. Goodbar.
Has a well stocked liquor cabinet.
Wears an ungodly amount of jewelry to show off.
Curses like a drunken sailor.
Been married multiple times - currently not married.
Every marriage lasted just long enough for her to get out of the marriage wealthier than she went into it.
Is an avid soap opera watcher.
Loooooves WWE and all other wrestling shows.
Lives the life that Larry the Cable Guy, Jeff Foxworthy and the Blue Collar group so eloquently describes.

Did I miss anything?

[Yeah, the part about barking out sandwich orders in the deli.]


Blogger Son Of The Godfather said...

DUmmies focusing their vitriol towards each other... We live in interesting times indeed.

I suspect the Hilldog may well pack it in before the convention (too bad, that would have been something to see). She will outwardly support the Obamassiah, but behind the scenes, the Clinton Machine will keep on cranking. This time, when the stories of Obama start coming out, they will no longer curse Rove.

9:55 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Her voice wasn't as unique as Doris Grau (Lunchlady Doris on the Simpsons). If she wants to remain famous she needs more of an overbearing Jewish mother image.
"Keep talking, the spray reminds me of Coney Island."

12:59 PM  
Blogger Jack Bauer said...

Hey I love Harriet's dulcet tones... at least she sounds authentic as opposed to that god-awful sibilant umming and arring from Barack Obama.


Seriously I prefer nails on a chalk-board to that!

1:10 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

SotG: Hillary aint' goin' nowhere yet.


Looks like she's still got more damage to do.

1:57 PM  
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