Friday, March 31, 2006

DUmmie FUnnies 03-31-06 ("I am so sick of him")

The melodramatic anti-Bush rant is a staple of DUmmie entertainment. The more histrionics involved in the rant, the more the humor value. Therefore this DUmmie THREAD titled, "I am so sick of him," ranks right up there in delivering the laughs. Yes, woe after woe in DUmmie donsu's miserable life is attributed to the mere existence of George W. Bush. Added to the fun here is the DUmmie chorus who chime in with similar woes all blamed, of course, on Bush. So let us view the DUmmies made miserable by Bush in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, who is blaming a shaving cut on Chester A. Arthur, is in the [brackets]:

Subject: I am so sick of him

[So do you suffer from B.I.T.S. or PEST or both?]

I am so sick of him. So utterly, completely, sick of him. Mentally, psychologically, spiritually and yes, physically, sick of him. So sick of him that every morning when my homepage opens up to BuzzFlash and the first thing I see is those beady, evil eyes, I have to quickly scroll down the page so I don't have to look at him. So sick of him that the sound of that petulant, whiny, defensive, ignorant voice creates a visceral, immediate reaction and I have to change the radio station. So utterly disgusted by him that three years ago I gave away my television in order to cut down on the number of intrusions per day by news media talking about him him him him him.

[Just the fact that Bush even exists causes you to soil your diaper daily.]

I am sick to death of the lies. A constant, daily barrage of lies that never ceases to amaze me with its blatant, arrogant confidence that yes, here is a lie, folks, and I just dare you to call me on it. And guess what? NO ONE dares. Not one single Democrat, Progressive, or conservative politician has dared to stand up and say, "You are a liar. A murderous liar. And we will not stand for your lies another minute." Only Cindy Sheehan has dared to call him a liar and ask for the truth. For which she has been vilified, and has, of course, received no answer.

[Oh how you yearn for the days of the ALWAYS TRUTHFUL Bill Clinton.]

The murder, the slaughter, the explosions, the maiming, the blood enrage me, the absolute horror of a so-called war brought about by the mere whim of this empty shell of a human being of him. How sick, how tired, how hopelessly futile is my inability to do anything to stop this nightmare. How sick I am of feeling this rage. I am so sick of him!

[You are less than a piece of Cosmic laundry lint in the vast Navel of Existence. Give up, NOW!!!]

I am psychologically affected by my worry about the future that awaits my child. I am tired of waking up in the middle of the night after dreams of Armageddon brought about by a cackling sociopath who prays for the 'honor' of bringing about the End Times that he believes is his destiny.

[You have nightly dreams of Armageddon and yet you attack Bush for being a cackling sociopath?]

I am shocked by my rage. I am a peaceful person. I am a lover. A mother. A sister. A good friend. I volunteer. I raise money for those less fortunate. But I hate him. Yes I do. I hate his guts and everything he says and does. I have never hated anyone in my life. But I do hate him. And for those who say they don't hate the man but hate his actions, I say, I hate the man and I hate his actions, because they are one and the same. You are what you do. And he is Hitler reincarnated. He is a mass murderer. He is an empty shell, void of humanity. And he deserves to be hated, and I do hate him. And I do not have a problem with that.

[Hold on to your insane rage. It is providing the NORMAL people with lots of comedic entertainment.]

I feel hopeless and powerless. Each day I talk myself into working so hard to make my living, and most of all, working so hard to show my child that Life is Beautiful and we should be grateful, because we do have so much. We are healthy, we have a nice place to live and good food to eat and people who love us. And we have each other.

[Let's see... You are healthy, have a nice place to live, eating good food, and surrounded by people who love you. But you DAMN Bush for making you your mind. Are you also haunted by leperchauns?]

But when I see God's beautiful planet being destroyed by this stupid, stupid man-boy, this swaggering bully without one ounce of conscience or Love of Life, I am so afraid for the future and for my child. And I am so tired of that fear.

[The frightening thing here is that YOU are the one hard-wiring your kid's mind with your BIZARRE outlook on life.]

"We have nothing to fear but fear itself." Well, fear is here. Brought to you by him, and him alone. His cult of personality has set the entire world against us, and we have good reason to fear.

[Speaking of cult of personality...Are you sure this rant isn't directed at Li'l Kim of North Korea?]

I am so sick of him.

[Yeah, I think we get that point by now.]

A BuzzFlash Reader

[NewzFlash! Your Divorce from Reality has gone been accomplished. And now to read similar histrionics from your fellow DUmmies...]

It is tragic that our country has a president that evokes these feelings.

[Somebody is psychopathic and it is somehow Bush's fault!!!]

Not only the country, but the world. And possibly an undiscovered planet or two.

[It is BUSH'S FAULT not only here but on other planets and out into the rest of the galaxy as well.]

I could have written that and not have changed a single word.

[In that case, you get to share the Rubber Room with DUmmie donsu.]

I somehow feel better just knowing people feel the same way, not much better, but anything helps at this point. I too am worried sick about my kids and what Bushworld has in store for them.

[I feel so much better knowing that there are other people as mentally disturbed as I am.]

Many of us think he is complicit in 911 and that the last three elections have been corrupt. Yes I know, hard to believe.
I'd hate him without those two suspicions though. In the 90's I thought things were going relatively well. George W. was like a baseball bat to my face.

[Stand by for your daily whack in the face with the George W. Slugger Special.]

I'm talking FEELINGS--why are so many of you hating Bush so much it's virtually ruining your life, your peace of mind, your kindness toward strangers, or anyone you think veers even slightly toward the right? Most of you are not unkind people--not at all! But I see so much unkindness here! I'd NEVER let a president do that to me!


You see, that is the thing that makes Democrats different than the GOP. We happen to think beyond ourselves, our lives, and our country -- beyond our own self interest to see how our actions and our government's actions impact others. We feel the injustice, we feel the pain, and we feel the horror.

[Uh-Oh! Your Smug Cloud is about to collide with the George Clooney Smug Cloud.]

I have never felt hatred or anger like I feel towards little lord pissy pants. I can't stand to look at him, I can't stand to listen to him, and I am sick of being lied to by this piece of shit.

[Shall we increase your Lithium dosage?]

Instead of all the sackcloth & ashes make sure the next election
sees a democratic nominee who can actually win more than 16 states. This party needs a reality check.

[Karl Rove says you really need to send a check to Hillary.]

I wonder if we could file a class action suit against him for
emotional distress???

[A case destined to be LAUGHED out of court...except for the Ninth Circuit Court.]

Bush is GOING DOWN!! He may well face the death penalty and his families dynasty will go down in history as the cause of near extinction of the human specie.

[Thank you for that piece of fecie.]

I'm getting sicker by the day of all this bushit. I'm waiting for more people to wake the f*ck up. Just seething right now.

[Seeth away until you EXPLODE!!!]

Thursday, March 30, 2006

DUmmie FUnnies 03-30-06 (Pitt SMEARS Ronald Reagan On 25th Assassination Attempt Anniversary)

This SMEAR of Ronald Reagan was originally written by William Rivers (Pied Piper) Pitt on June 7, 2004 just TWO DAYS after the President's death. Right in the middle of the Reagan Funeral, when crowds appeared in record numbers to show pay their respects to the recently departed President, Pied Piper Pitt felt impelled to toss this Smear Bomb on the Web. Like many other Leftists, Pitt just couldn't stand the fact that Reagan was and STILL IS overwhelming popular with the public. Therefore, Pitt dipped his pen in poison in a Pittiful attempt to bring down the memory of the beloved President. Of course, Pitt's Smear Job got lost at the time in the midst of the ENORMOUS outpouring of genuine love bestowed upon Ronaldus Magnus. However, now I see that Pitt has REPOSTED his SMEAR on Reagan today. But why today? I couldn't figure it out until I realized that today is the 25th anniversary of the failed assassination attempt on Reagan on March 30, 1981. Great timing, Pitt. Since few paid attention to your missive of Hate in 2004, you felt the need to regurgitate it again on this date. The timing is NOT coincidental. Pitt can't get over the fact that Reagan SURVIVED and LED the nation from the malaise of the Jimmy Carter years.

I apologize to anyone in advance if you are offended by Pitt's continuing smear campaign against Reagan but I will make amends by sending this piece (as well as other Pitt lunacies) to the media if I ever get the hint that Pitt is about to board a major political campaign in any capacity. Most likely his Democrat candidates that he hopes to leach off have the same opinion of Reagan as well but they can't afford to ALIENATE the voters when Pitt's shear hatred comes to light. This might surprise you, Pitt, but you ARE expendable. For publishing this smear on Reagan, you are consigned to spend the rest of your life desperately trying to leave the nocturnal confines of the Bukowski's barroom floor. So let us now watch the venom dripping from his pen as Pied Piper Pitt scribbles his HATRED of Ronald Reagan in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, "congratulating" Pitt on his sick timing of this piece, is in the [brackets]]:

Speaking of Ronald Reagan...

[Smearing of Ronald Reagan...]

Planet Reagan
By William Rivers Pitt
t r u t h o u t Perspective

Monday 07 June 2004

["Great timing" there, Pitt. You originally publish this smear on Reagan right in the middle of his funeral just two days after he died and now on the 25th anniversary of the assassination attempt upon him you spew it out, covered with bile, once again.]

Ronald Reagan is dead now, and everyone is being nice to him. In every aspect, this is appropriate. He was a husband and a father, a beloved member of a family, and he will be missed by those he was close to. His death was long, slow and agonizing because of the Alzheimer's Disease which ruined him, one drop of lucidity at a time. My grandmother died ten years ago almost to the day because of this disease, and this disease took ten years to do its dirty, filthy, wretched work on her.

[This is where Pitt pulls out the phony sympathy before sinking in the dagger. Your "sympathy" would have been slightly more believable if you had not included a dopey ballad making fun of Reagan's Alzheimer's Disease along with this piece of venom.]

The dignity and candor of Reagan's farewell letter to the American people was as magnificent a departure from public life as any that has been seen in our history, but the ugly truth of his illness was that he lived on, and on, and on. His family and friends watched as he faded from the world of the real, as the simple dignity afforded to all life collapsed like loose sand behind his ever more vacant eyes. Only those who have seen Alzheimer's Disease invade a mind can know the truth of this. It is a cursed way to die.

[Somehow the fact that you included a "ballad" below in which every stanza mocks Reagan's Alzheimer's Disease with this line, "Ronald Reagan is alive but forgetting things," makes you more than a little bit credibility challenged when it comes to your "sympathy."]

In this mourning space, however, there must be room made for the truth. Writer Edward Abbey once said, "The sneakiest form of literary subtlety, in a corrupt society, is to speak the plain truth. The critics will not understand you; the public will not believe you; your fellow writers will shake their heads."

[I'm still waiting to hear the TRUTH of what happened in the dark corners of a certain school in Newton, MA. Now on to the heart of the Pitt smear...]

The truth is straightforward: Virtually every significant problem facing the American people today can be traced back to the policies and people that came from the Reagan administration. It is a laundry list of ills, woes and disasters that has all of us, once again, staring apocalypse in the eye.

[Carter Malaise? REAGAN'S FAULT!!! Carter inflation? REAGAN'S FAULT!!! Carter recession? REAGAN'S FAULT!!!]

How can this be? The television says Ronald Reagan was one of the most beloved Presidents of the 20th century. He won two national elections, the second by a margin so overwhelming that all future landslides will be judged by the high-water mark he achieved against Walter Mondale. How can a man so universally respected have played a hand in the evils which corrupt our days?

[Stand by! Here comes the typical liberal mantra about how Reagan hypnotized a stupid American public into feeling good.]

The answer lies in the reality of the corrupt society Abbey spoke of. Our corruption is the absolute triumph of image over reality, of flash over substance, of the pervasive need within most Americans to believe in a happy-face version of the nation they call home, and to spurn the reality of our estate as unpatriotic. Ronald Reagan was, and will always be, the undisputed heavyweight champion of salesmen in this regard.

[Pitt and his fellow liberals just can't accept the overwhelming popularity of Ronald Reagan. So how to explain it? Simple. The American public are a bunch of idiots who were easily swayed by a slick sales pitch. To show just what absolute contempt Pitt has for the American public allow me to QUOTE Pitt himself in one of his many TEDIOUS essays in which he not so subtly compares the Third Reich to the "Third American Empire.":

It is difficult to pinpoint exactly when the third American empire came into being, but a hockey game will suffice as a marker. On February 2, 1980, the American Olympic hockey team came from nowhere to defeat the unbeatable Soviet squad in Lake Placid. The subsequent eruption of nationalistic fervor, augmented by the American squad’s victory over Finland in the final round to capture the gold medal, led to an outpouring of public emotion that no sporting event had ever created. ]

Reagan was able, by virtue of his towering talents in this arena, to sell to the American people a flood of poisonous policies. He made Americans feel good about acting against their own best interests. He sold the American people a lemon, and they drive it to this day as if it was a Cadillac. It isn't the lies that kill us, but the myths, and Ronald Reagan was the greatest myth-maker we are ever likely to see.

[Yeah. The American people are so STUPID in the Pitt/Liberal theology that they fell for his "sales pitch" despite harming themselves like a bunch of complete idiots. Oh, and here is more of what IDIOTS Pitt thought the American people are in the same tedious essay as above:

It was at Lake Placid that the now-familiar chant of “U.S.A.! U.S.A.!” was born. The American people had been well-trained during the second empire to expect being on top, and the years prior to Lake Placid had been hard. Something so simple as a win on that ice was enough to strike sparks again, to ignite the long fuse that has been this third American empire. The American people were mesmerized by the vision of their flag rising next to but just a little higher than the red Soviet banner. It was their first taste of what would become a long and uninterrupted stretch of total global dominance.]

Mainstream media journalism today is a shameful joke because of Reagan's deregulation policies. Once upon a time, the Fairness Doctrine ensured that the information we receive - information vital to the ability of the people to govern in the manner intended - came from a wide variety of sources and perspectives. Reagan's policies annihilated the Fairness Doctrine, opening the door for a few mega-corporations to gather journalism unto themselves. Today, Reagan's old bosses at General Electric own three of the most-watched news channels. This company profits from every war we fight, but somehow is trusted to tell the truths of war. Thus, the myths are sold to us.

[What Alternate Reality is Pied Piper Pitt living in? Today we have MORE news outlets that ever thanks to the Internet. Methinks Pitt is blaming Reagan for the fact that conservatives, like Rush Limbaugh, can now be widely heard. Nobody is stopping liberals from competing but when they do, like with Err America, they BOMB bigtime. And this is somehow Reagan's fault?]

The deregulation policies of Ronald Reagan did not just deliver journalism to these massive corporations, but handed virtually every facet of our lives into the hands of this privileged few. The air we breathe, the water we drink, the food we eat are all tainted because Reagan battered down every environmental regulation he came across so corporations could improve their bottom line. Our leaders are wholly-owned subsidiaries of the corporations that were made all-powerful by Reagan's deregulation craze. The Savings and Loan scandal of Reagan's time, which cost the American people hundreds of billions of dollars, is but one example of Reagan's decision that the foxes would be fine guards in the henhouse.

[But...but I thought this is all Bush's fault? Better get your silly Blame Game straight, Pitt. Oh, and my leaky faucet? Reagan's fault!]

Ronald Reagan believed in small government, despite the fact that he grew government massively during his time. Social programs which protected the weakest of our citizens were gutted by Reagan's policies, delivering millions into despair. Reagan was able to do this by caricaturing the "welfare queen," who punched out babies by the barnload, who drove the flashy car bought with your tax dollars, who refused to work because she didn't have to. This was a vicious, racist lie, one result of which was the decimation of a generation by crack cocaine. The urban poor were left to rot because Ronald Reagan believed in 'self-sufficiency.'

[Crack cocaine epidemic? Reagan's fault! And what crack pipe are YOU smoking, Pitt, to come up with that dopey analysis?]

Because Ronald Reagan could not be bothered to fund research into 'gay cancer,' the AIDS virus was allowed to carve out a comfortable home in America. The aftershocks from this callous disregard for people whose homosexuality was deemed evil by religious conservatives cannot be overstated. Beyond the graves of those who died from a disease which was allowed to burn unchecked, there are generations of Americans today living with the subconscious idea that sex equals death.

[Sigh! Another Pitt/Liberal Mantra: A cruel Ronald Reagan didn't fund research into AIDS. Too bad Pitt was too LAZY to do a quick 3 second web search or he could have found THIS:

Despite the criticism, under Reagan $5.7 billion was spent on AIDS and HIV, with large amounts going to the National Institutes of Health. ]

The veneer of honor and respect painted across the legacy of Ronald Reagan is itself a myth of biblical proportions. The coverage proffered today of the Reagan legacy seldom mentions impropriety until the Iran/Contra scandal appears on the administration timeline. This sin of omission is vast. By the end of his term in office, some 138 Reagan administration officials had been convicted, indicted or investigated for misconduct and/or criminal activities.

[Oh how we yearn for the "propriety" of the Clinton years when FBI files on opponents were gathered at will. By the end of his term of office, Clinton issued record PARDONS to buddies and contributors alike.]

Some of the names on this disgraceful roll-call: Oliver North, John Poindexter, Richard Secord, Casper Weinberger, Elliott Abrams, Robert C. McFarlane, Michael Deaver, E. Bob Wallach, James Watt, Alan D. Fiers, Clair George, Duane R. Clarridge, Anne Gorscuh Burford, Rita Lavelle, Richard Allen, Richard Beggs, Guy Flake, Louis Glutfrida, Edwin Gray, Max Hugel, Carlos Campbell, John Fedders, Arthur Hayes, J. Lynn Helms, Marjory Mecklenburg, Robert Nimmo, J. William Petro, Thomas C. Reed, Emanuel Savas, Charles Wick. Many of these names are lost to history, but more than a few of them are still with us today, 'rehabilitated' by the administration of George W. Bush.

[I'm waiting to see a roll-call of Newton schoolgirls who will be providing testimony against a certain subsitute teacher.]

Ronald Reagan actively supported the regimes of the worst people ever to walk the earth. Names like Marcos, Duarte, Rios Mont and Duvalier reek of blood and corruption, yet were embraced by the Reagan administration with passionate intensity. The ground of many nations is salted with the bones of those murdered by brutal rulers who called Reagan a friend. Who can forget his support of those in South Africa who believed apartheid was the proper way to run a civilized society?

[In Pitt's world, Jose Napoleon Duarte and Ferdinand Marcos (who came to power BEFORE Reagan was President and was forced from power WHILE Reagan was President) rank right up there with Li'l Kim of North Korea. Oops! My fault. Pitt would NEVER criticize the "Progressive" Li'l Kim.]

One dictator in particular looms large across our landscape. Saddam Hussein was a creation of Ronald Reagan. The Reagan administration supported the Hussein regime despite his incredible record of atrocity. The Reagan administration gave Hussein intelligence information which helped the Iraqi military use their chemical weapons on the battlefield against Iran to great effect. The deadly bacterial agents sent to Iraq during the Reagan administration are a laundry list of horrors.

[And the SOURCES for this slur about giving Hussein deadly bacterial agents is none other than the usual Looney Left websites such as the SOCIALIST REVIEW. BTW, quite of few of these websites use Pitt himself as the source for this particular smear.]

The Reagan administration sent an emissary named Donald Rumsfeld to Iraq to shake Saddam Hussein's hand and assure him that, despite public American condemnation of the use of those chemical weapons, the Reagan administration still considered him a welcome friend and ally. This happened while the Reagan administration was selling weapons to Iran, a nation notorious for its support of international terrorism, in secret and in violation of scores of laws.

[FUnnie how Pitt and his fellow DUmmies go into fits at the mere suggestion that we DO something to take out Iran's nuclear capability. Continue with your 25th assassination attempt anniversary SMEAR, Pitt...]

Another name on Ronald Reagan's roll call is that of Osama bin Laden. The Reagan administration believed it a bully idea to organize an army of Islamic fundamentalists in Afghanistan to fight the Soviet Union. bin Laden became the spiritual leader of this action. Throughout the entirety of Reagan's term, bin Laden and his people were armed, funded and trained by the United States. Reagan helped teach Osama bin Laden the lesson he lives by today, that it is possible to bring a superpower to its knees. bin Laden believes this because he has done it once before, thanks to the dedicated help of Ronald Reagan.

[Oh, and don't forget to blame Reagan for the existence of Satan, Pitt. I'm sure Pitt will get around to blaming Reagan for 9/11.]

In 1998, two American embassies in Africa were blasted into rubble by Osama bin Laden, who used the Semtex sent to Afghanistan by the Reagan administration to do the job. In 2001, Osama bin Laden thrust a dagger into the heart of the United States, using men who became skilled at the art of terrorism with the help of Ronald Reagan. Today, there are 827 American soldiers and over 10,000 civilians who have died in the invasion and occupation of Iraq, a war that came to be because Reagan helped manufacture both Saddam Hussein and Osama bin Laden.

[BINGO! Pitt did not fail. He now blames 9/11 on Reagan. Of course, he conveniently neglects to mention that Sudan offered to turn over Osama bin Laden to the USA in 1996 but the Clinton administration declined the offer.]

How much of this can be truthfully laid at the feet of Ronald Reagan? It depends on who you ask. Those who worship Reagan see him as the man in charge, the man who defeated Soviet communism, the man whose vision and charisma made Americans feel good about themselves after Vietnam and the malaise of the 1970s. Those who despise Reagan see him as nothing more than a pitch-man for corporate raiders, the man who allowed greed to become a virtue, the man who smiled vapidly while allowing his officials to run the government for him.

[By your own definition, Pitt, you number among the ranks of the Reagan despisers.]

In the final analysis, however, the legacy of Ronald Reagan - whether he had an active hand in its formulation, or was merely along for the ride - is beyond dispute. His famous question, "Are you better off now than you were four years ago?" is easy to answer. We are not better off than we were four years ago, or eight years ago, or twelve, or twenty. We are a badly damaged state, ruled today by a man who subsists off Reagan's most corrosive final gift to us all: It is the image that matters, and be damned to the truth.

[You better hope the truth from Newton NEVER reaches a courtroom, Pitt. And for all your phony piety, you couldn't resist following your Hate Reagan tirade with a SICKO ballad making fun of his Alzheimer's disease. I won't reprint it here but ANYBODY can view that sick "ballad" titled, "Lest We Forget" that you placed below your Hate Reagan RANT. The author of that sick slam is one Dean Blehert who happens to be a Scientology KOOK.

And now we let us read the rantings of your rabid Hate Reagan acolytes, Pitt.]

Fantastic Will. It's time to start dissassembling the legend
in favor of the truth. Enough time has passed. Many of us know that we are in this place today because of his policies, not only as President, but as Governor of California. Now it's time for the rest of those, who think Ronnie was a saint, to stop imbibing the soma and look at the hard facts.

[Yeah, look for those "Hard Facts" in one of Pied Piper Pitt's many pompous treatises including the one about how we are a Third America Empire like the Third Reich.]

"Morning in America" was built with the blood of people who fought for freedom in places like Nicaragua, El Salvador, Angola, Chile, and numerous other countries. It was built on the backs of the exploited workers and peasants of the world. It was the golden era of anecdotal, and thinly veiled, racism. It was a time when a populist demagogue made hatred, greed, and inhumanity acceptable. His appeal was to the very worst inclinations of a public bamboozled by his "plain speaking" written by an army of PR men. He made simplistic sloganeering a replacement for debate and diplomacy.

[Simplistic sloganeering like LIHOP, MIHOP, or BFEE? Go ahead and EMBARRASS yourselves by saying aloud what those initials mean.]

That rat bastard got into heaven because truly, he didn't remember. Sometimes it really pisses me off when God is merciful.

[Don't worry. He won't be merciful when your time is up.]

Ray-gun is the worst president of my lifetime.

[Except for Bush, of course. Don't veer too far from the DUmmieland Party Line.]

Is this Dean Blehert? His poem captured the whole end of the Reagan years perfectly. Powerful piece!

[Yeah. Scientology KOOK, Dean Blehert, used his "poem" to make fun of Reagan's Alzheimer's disease. Pitt couldn't resist posting it as part of his own anti-Reagan tirade.]

I never got why people looked up to him so much
people must be so desperate for an old fashioned marlboro man, even if he is made out of plastic.

[According to Pitt, it's because the American people are STUPID.]

Truth, Will? The day Reagan died, I laughed out loud and danced. My friends and co-workers thought I was nuts. How hard-hearted I must be, I'm sure they thought. Not nearly as hard-hearted and cruel as Ronald Wilson Reagan, when he occupied the White House, reducing government sponsored school lunch programs, using isolated examples of welfare fraud to throw millions of need off of life supporting programs, subverting the constitution and our democracy, spreading illegal covert programs to undermine autonomous nations around the world.

[Sick and PROUD OF IT! Those are YOUR people, Pitt.]

DUmmie FUnnies 03-30-06 (DUmmies SUffering From B.I.T.S. ---Bush-Induced Tourrette's Syndrome)

We've all heard that liberalism is a mental disorder. Regular readers of the DUmmie FUnnies already know this to be true. We have seen thread after thread posted in DUmmieland about the vast numbers of meds they take, how they consult astrology to predict the end of the EVIL Bush Regime, or how they are creating their own alternate reality in which either Al Gore or John Kerry is President. The insanity list goes on and on and on. However, we now have testimony from the DUmmies themselves that they suffer from from a mental disorder as a result of Bush and conservatives. The admission can be seen in this DUmmie THREAD titled, "My name is WestHoustonDem and I suffer from B.I.T.S." B.I.T.S. for you unenlightened folks is defined by the DUmmies themselves as "Bush-Induced Tourrette's Syndrome." Since I live in South Florida, where PEST (Post Election Selection Trauma) is rampant, I can assure you that B.I.T.S. is NO figment of the imagination. In fact, according to a Boca Raton News ARTICLE, PEST is actually covered by medical insurance so it wouldn't be surprising if B.I.T.S. gets the same coverage. I know of a woman who suffers from both PEST and B.I.T.S. since she told me she couldn't watch TV ever since the 2004 election for fear of accidentally seeing Bush on the screen and breaking out into a loud cursing fit. Hopefully she will be able to get her medical insurance to pay for the treatments of both ailments since they are closely related. So let us now plumb the depths of DUmmie despair as they they make their B.I.T.S. confessionals in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, observing the sufferers of B.I.T.S. who have lost their WITS, is in the [brackets]:

My name is WestHoustonDem and I suffer from B.I.T.S.

(Bush-Induced Tourrette's Syndrome)

? Do you yell and scream at the television whenever President Bush gives a speech?
? Has your use of profanity increased dramatically over the past five years?
? Have you made up new curse words because the old ones just don't cut it anymore?
? Have you nursed a hangover because you used a republican speech to play a drinking game and the "trigger" word (WMDs, 9/11, terrorists) was repeated more than a dozen times in less than 15 minutes?

[Is that you, SUSAN ESTRICH?]

My name is SharonRB and I suffer from B.I.T.S. I'll be the first to admit it. Do you know the cure?

[You can seek counseling by calling the B.I.T.S. Hotline--- 1-800-BUSH-WON]

The only cure is Chimpeachment!

[I'm Chimpressed at the depth of your diagnosis, Dr. DUmmie.]

OMIGOD! THAT'S what I have!!! That explains so much!

[Isn't it GREAT! You now know the exact nature of your mental disorder!!!]

Welcome to B.I.T.S. Anonymous!

[My name is DUmmie benburch and I 7$%@*! have B.I.T.S. because of that $&^@#&%$$#!!! BUSH!!!]

B.I.T.S. Anonymous is a great place to vent.

[B.I.T.S. Anonymous aka DUmmieland.]

My name is Kadie and I suffer from B.I.T.S. at least now I know I am not alone.

[True. You are joined by all the rest of the DUmmies minus the LOUSY FREEPER TROLLS!!!]

My name is Bob and I am an alcoholic with
B.I.T.S. I haven't had a drink in nearly 21 years, but I sure hate that asshat, motherf*cking, goddamned election-stealing, phony bible-thumping, glob of mexican food diarrhea, low-life f*ck wad, douche-bag, Santorum smear (Google it), that pretends to be the president.

[After you are finished with your B.I.T.S. attack, DUmmie Bob, pour yourself a good stiff drink to calm yourself down.]

My name is DVJNU and I, too, am in the throes (NOT the last throes, mind you) of BITS. I don't see recovery in my future until 2008. Ain't that a BITS?

[I predict a big B.I.T.S. relapse in 2008 when you discover that Karl Rove has chosen Hillary as your nomineee. Then you can suffer from K.I.T.S. (Karl-Induced Tourrette's Syndrome).]

Hi, my name is Dudley and I am an alpha-BITS vector
which means I had BITS even before the 2000 election and have subsequently infected many others with BITS.

[Uh-Oh. We may have identified the Patient Zero of B.I.T.S. in the form of DUmmie Dudley_DUright.]

Do you keep a supply of soft squoooshy things near your TV seat? That way when the leader of the free world manifests himself on your TV screen you have something ready to throw at him that won't cause you serious financial hardship. Potholders are good. They make a nice satisfying slapping sound but are guaranteed not to shatter the screen.

[How about a Karl Rove Kewpie Doll?]

I am Stinky The Clown and I suffer from B.I.T.S.
All day .... every day .... morning till night .... and sometimes in my dreams.

[As well as in your delusions.]

I won't let myself watch tv news except for the Daily Show..come to think of it I do "yell and scream" whenever Jon has on some fascist spewing idiot or the idiot-in-chief clips. It's a good thing I stopped drinking alcohol in 2002!

[It's also a good thing you stopped thinking in 2002!]

I have suffered with this malady for nearly 6 years!
Chocolate helps! Margaritas and herbal calms help too!

[And Depends helps as well.]

i am xiamiam and i have mouth also hung open for about 2 yrs when i watched SCOTUS help the 2000 election get stolen..but I thought it would get better..everyday some piece of me felt paralyzed..especially my heart..I hated everyone who pretended that everything was normal..i became afraid to travel to foreign countries...i spent abnormal amount of time on the internet trying to find real news before dawn...never sleep thru the night since 911..are these also symptoms?

[Absolutely! You may now put in an insurance claim for B.I.T.S. therapy.]

I feel like I've finally come home to a group of people who know what I'm going through. It gives me strength to get through this.

[SNIFF! It's just so touching to see the beginnings of a B.I.T.S. support group.]

My middle finger automatically goes up whenever I hear clips of him on the radio; I mute the tv and give the same salute while trying to stifle the urge to . I've taught my kids to say "Bush**" if they want to utter anything that wouldn't be appropriate for someone their ages to say. I drink a beer or two or a glass of wine every night before I go to bed whereas I didn't drink much at all for a couple of decades! During one of the SOTU addresses my kids and I were throwing petzels at the tv every time that he smirked, told a blatant lie, etc., and during the first 10 mins. we had to adjust our parameters because we had a large pile of pretzel pieces in the floor and were afraid it was going to get totally out of hand! Thanks for giving it a name besides just feeling Bush**whacked!

[It sounds like your entire family needs to be taken in for a B.I.T.S. Group Therapy Session presided over by Dr. Buddy Rydell.]

Finally a support group.... I suffer from B.I.T.S. too, but I believe I have a even more severe case, because I seem suffer from hives every time I see a republican/conservative on TV.

[I bet the sight of Dick Cheney makes you break out with Jock Itch.]

I have B.I.T.S. avoidance syndrome! When he comes in, I go out! I really have an aversion to his visage. I have to leave the room or change the channel.

[Try doing what the PEST suffering woman I mentioned at the beginning of this missive does. Just avoid TV altogether for the next few years so you don't risk accidentally seeing Bush.]


I am so afflicted.

I told my dad a few weeks ago, when he was at my house watching the POS give a speech:

"Turn it off. I hate him"

dad: why? that is so silly, he's the president, you should at least respect the office.

me: "This is my house, I don't want to hear or see that lying piece of shit in my house. He makes me want to vomit and shit at the same time. Turn it off now."

[OMG OMG OMG! You truly are DEMENTED!!!]

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

DUmmie FUnnies 03-29-06 ("Should we now form an underground railroad to help soldiers desert?")

In the asylum known as DUmmieland it takes someone special to stand out from the usual herd of whackos and in this regard, benburch does not disappoint as you can see in his DUmmie THREAD titled, "Should we now form an underground railroad to help soldiers desert?" A better question would be "Should we now form an underground asylum to help DUmmies desert reality?" Of course, the answer is that no such underground asylum is needed since the DUmmies, with benburch in the forefront, have long since departed from the bounds of the sane. Basically, benburch, from the safety of his basement computer screen, is setting himself up as an heroic activist fighting the machine of the EVIL Bush Regime. The REALITY of it is that benburch will go no further in forming an underground railroad than reaching for the nearest available bag of Tostito chips while sadly banging away at his keyboard in the gloom of his computer abode. Oh, and a note from Earth to benburch, if you really did consider setting up an underground railroad, you don't BROADCAST that fact on a public forum while staining your T-shirt with salsa sauce. So let us now watch benburch pathetically setting himself up for "heroic" action that never will be in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, thanking benburch once again for his latest chapter of entertaining Full Moon bleatings, is in the [brackets]:

Should we now form an underground railroad to help soldiers desert?

[Only if it means you don't have to tear yourself away from the Tostito chips and have to actually LEAVE Mommy's comfy basement from where you post your rantings, DUmmie benburch.]

I think the time has come that many soldiers in Iraq, or threatened with being deployed to Iraq, would desert if given the chance.

[DUmmie wishful thinking. Continue DUmmie benburch...]

Since I do not think this whole disgusting affair was worth the life of even ONE American (or any of the Iraqis we have killed) I am wondering what might be done to hide soldiers scheduled for deployment, get them to neutral countries, or assist them in forming false IDs to live under until the eventual and inevitable amnesty is declared?

[Maybe they can hide with YOU, DUmmie benburch, and spend the next few years living off of Tostitos and salsa while being warmed by the comforting glow of your computer monitor deep in the dark of Mommy's basement.]

Would this be a good idea now? Would this be ethical now? Would the "Peace Churches" (Brethren, Mennonites, Quakers) assist in this effort as a part of their historical legacy of asylum? I invite discussion of this matter.

[I invite discussion of benburch's mental state and now to hear from the rest of the DUmmie Asylum...]

providing asylum to soldiers who decline to participate in a war always ethical,IMO.

[As is providing asylum for a raving lunatic who posts imaginary "glorious" deeds from the safety of his computer.]

what are you going to do with them? Canada doesn't want them. Maybe a little reverse illegal immigration to Mexico? you cannot encourage someone to break a law (especially one without a statute of limitations, like desertion) I don't think that's ethical.


Hide them in our homes, if need be.

[Before anyone would hide in your home (actually Mommy's home), you would need to decontaminate it, DUmmie benburch.]

You realize you are advocating a felony, if not treason, right?

[Shhh! Please allow DUmmie benburch to continue presenting testimony against himself for his upcoming trial.]

Not advocating... Discussing. I'll let you know when I am advocating it, OK?

[Oh, now that you are seeing there are CONSEQUENCES to this ILLEGAL action, DUmmie benburch, you back away with your tail between your legs.]

It's a discussion. Not advocating anything.
I would take the chance of being convicted of a felony if they tried to take someone I loved and cared for without their wanting to go in the first place. If they started the draft, which may not be too far off, we may HAVE to face these decisions. Just saying.

[Oh yes, the Draft. I remember how all DUmmieland was swearing up and down that a draft would be instituted FOR SURE no later than April...2005.]

These soldiers need a safe haven so that they are not forced to either murder or be murdered in the imperialists war. I'm in....How do we do this? And, of course, maintain secrecy? (Well, not talk about it online might be a first step, lol).

[Don't worry. Nobody knows about this secret plan except for thee and me and the THOUSANDS who read the DUmmie FUnnies.]

I appreciate what you're saying, but you are taking a risk
Every day this board is reviewed by people looking for illegality, and they don't have the same paradigm of intelligent discourse you do. They see sedition, and they see you doing it.

[Every day this board is reviewed by people looking for laughs at the expense of phony DUmmie histrionics.]

I take a risk each and every day with White Rose. I expect to be killed for it eventually if we fail to destroy the GOP.

[The only way you'll be killed, DUmmie benburch, is if you slip while bending over to dip your Tostito chip in the salsa bowl.]

I think a soldier is trained how to get from point A to point B. I'd wager a soldier could get across the canadan border and find connections once up north, to shift on to secure, safe and civil societies that will protect them from the war criminals. They want to lock down all identity paper checkpoints and really imprison everyone, so that they can catch any one of us at impunity like rats in a cage. The military person would probably just take cash and a survival pack, to get across a huge wilderspace border. Depending on the race of the person escaping from the prison states of america, north or south, and the ultimate destination to blend, are simply not predictable.

[How about if WE form an underground railroad to send you north across the DMZ of Korea so you can escape the "prison states of america?"]

I'm not sure why you expect to get killed if you don't destroy the GOP, and I'm not sure how White Rose expects to destroy the GOP.

[The White Rose Society, of which DUmmie benburch is a member, was formed in order to allow deskbound DUmmie computer jockeys feel self-important without having to suffer the consequences of what they are advocating.]

White Rose exists to spread truth. And truth will destroy them. Not by myself, of course. If I am alone in this not much will happen.

[Not much will happen then, DUmmie benburch, other than spilling your salsa dip when you get excited posting your melodramatic nonsense.]

Each person should follow his/her own conscience and act in concert with his/her local organizations...but, broadcasting intentions on a public message board that is regularly scanned, kinda negates the words "underground," doesn't it?

[Don't worry. DUmmie benburch's latest fantasy drenched pronouncement will go NO further than any of his other alternate reality proposals.]

Maybe a more practical approach would be to get the Peace Churches to offer membership to those who might be drafted so that they can get Conscientious Objector status before the draft begins? Seems to me also that a serving soldier could claim CO status after a religious conversion?

[ALREADY trying to laze off from actually DOING anything? Typical benburch. A call to ACTION as long as somebody ELSE has to to the real WORK.]

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

DUmmie FUnnies 03-28-06 (Rabid Moonbat Hate Rant)

If you have any friends who doubt you when you try to describe the absolute LUNACY of the Leftists, then I highly recommend you direct them to this edition of the DUmmie FUnnies which features DUmmies screeching into the void with HATRED as you can see in this THREAD titled, "I f*cking hate Republicans (thread #2)." This is the UGLY but TRUE face of the Left. They are angry and incoherent in their utter hate. Slashing blindly in all directions, the Moonbat screeches its Hatred of everything rational as it makes its nocturnal flights in deep cyberspace. The resultant sight is far from pretty but it must be observed in order to understand the disorder that is known as Leftism. It is the same disorder that inspired roving Chekhist squads to "liquidate" the productive farmers of Russia. The same hate that inspired the Sandinista Las Turbas Divinas ("Divine Mobs") or Las Turbas Chavistas in Venezuela. It is the insane HATRED of the Leftist mob who, knowing their inability to cope with life in general, lashes out in hatred against those who have learned to live successfully. If you ever get complacent and think such mindless mobs can only run wild in foreign lands, then LOOK at our own homegrown Turbas. Look at the DUmmie Mob mindset and you will see it RIGHT HERE in the U.S.A.. Yes, they are amusing creatures but they would become LETHAL if given half a chance. So let us now observe the bile-filled rantings of the Rabid Moonbats in Bolshevik Red, while the commentary of your humble correspondent, holding up a lead umbrella to protect against the acidic bile drooling from DUmmie mouths, is in the [brackets]:

I f*cking hate Republicans (thread #2)

[You mean there is an equally rabid thread #1? Why am I NOT surprised?]

I'm with porphyrian. It is my GOD GIVEN, or Constitutional Right to HATE any miserable, low-life sonofabitch that wants to put ME and MINE down to serfdom. PERIOD.

[DUmmie Tyler Durden is a prisoner of his own rabid mind but blames EVIL Republicans for his self-servitude. Continue, the doctor is taking notes...]

I know there are some out there that have rePuke relatives or significant others. I'm sorry if this hurts their feelings, but in a REPUBLIC, where it's "Winner Take All," if you dance in the Devil's Disco, you go to HELL. If you're a Republican and you don't support Bush, Frist, Hastert, Hatch, DeLay and the rest of Satan's little helpers...QUIT. NOW. Send in your party resignation. Otherwise, you support by default.

["QUIT NOW! QUIT NOW!" screeched the Rabid Moonbat beating its wings in the dark, dark night. "QUIT NOW! QUIT NOW!" as the darkness is pierced by the dull glow of its angry red eyes. ...And now to continue observing the disturbed brain pulsations of DUmmie Tyler Durden...]

I repeat: if you are a Republican now, SUPPORT Bush, or QUIT.

[If you are a DUmmie, seek HELP now or QUIT...the planet.]

We are the enemy. Until we are willing to call a traitor a traitor, we will never effectively combat the treason.

[Until you seek mental help you will never cease drooling bile all over yourself, Moonbat porphyrian.]

I have a confession to make. The other day in our town, a teacher at a Christian school died in a traffic accident. He was, by all accounts, a pretty nice guy. But I KNOW he and his family were card-carrying members of the American Taliban, and total Repukes and Bush supporters. I found myself thinking that I was happy there was one less of them to vote in November. That's sick, and I am ashamed of myself, but that's what it's come to. I absolutely hate those people and they are destroying our country.

[You liked the teacher but since he was an ENEMY OF THE PEOPLE you rejoiced in his death although you briefly regretted it before returning to abnormal.]

This is a WAR. Not a war brought on by US, not a war where WE fired the first shot, not a war where WE populated the "Intellectual Concentration Camps." Not US. But we have a choice: The FIGHT the intellectual Nazis like the Nazis in WWII were confronted and defeated, die trying, or line up for the Idealogical Gas Chambers. I will not go down without a fight. NOT when I'm not the one who hit first.

[FUnnie how these DUmmies never seem to be able to point out the location of these imaginary concentration camps. The best they can muster in a response is to look it up in Google.]

I am glad I found this thread. You speak for me too.

[How touching. A Rabid Moonbat has found a comrade. Welcome to the asylum!]

Good luck in life. So long as you are filled with hate you will never be happy. Hope you figure that out before too much of your life is over.

[Good luck in your imminent tombstoning for being much too rational in DUmmieland.]

Human emotions are simply biochemical washes excreted into our systems by glands. Perhaps your own body is only capable of experiencing a single emotion at a time, but I and many other people I know have bodies capable of multiple emotions at once, as well as the intellect to control our actions despite them. Hate is no more a problem than sadness or joy for those who aren't ignorant and/or controlled by their emotions.

[And your biochemistry is producing an overdose of acidic bile excreted into your numb skull.]

I never really hated until 1981. Then a white hot hatred aganst anything republican began building, it was they themselves fueling the fire, taking good care of munero uno and the f*ck with everyone else. It continued on through the eighties, getting hotter and hotter, now with this current crop, it's a wonder I'm not consumed by spontaneus combustion. Never, never have i felt the utter contempt and willingness to completely disengage and title worthless this batch of incompetent sons of bitches. Yeah, I hate f*cking republicans too, and I don't give a shit who cares either damn every one of their black souless hearts to the hell they so feverently believe in.

[Translation: "I am just as LOONY as the other rabid Moonbats...and PROUD of it!!!"]

I have a friend who justifies most of the worst of the junta's
military/economic depredations on manifest destiny, basically, tinged with social darwinism we get whatever we want because we CAN! he thinks he's pretty well supported logically/informationally, but when I asked him what he knew about PNAC, etc: crickets after I filled him in, he said, "great! good for them!"

[Did you fill your friend in on other Moonbat dialectics such as LIHOP, MIHOP, and BFEE?]

I feel your pain...BELIEVE ME. My brother: rePuke. Not extreme but backs up his wife who thinks Clinton should have gone to jail, and should still be there. Sister and her husband: rePukes. Mom: Democrat, but has disowned me, thanks to Sis.

[And a WISE CHOICE your mom made, DUmmie Tyler Durden.]

They declared open war on me and mine. Lying cheating sack of shit homophobes. F*ck 'em.

[Psst! I hate to be the one to inform you but they barely even know that a briney little bug like you even exists.]

Monday, March 27, 2006

DUmmie FUnnies 03-28-06 (Ouija Board Polls)

When I was a teenager, I was told that I would someday be world famous. Leaders from many countries would make pilgrimages to my vast estates to seek my advice. I was even told that I would lead a punitive expedition across the galaxy to wipe out an alien civilization that dared to threaten our planet. Of course, I returned to Earth as a conquering hero. That same evening, other teenagers around the table I was sitting at, were told they would become famous actresses, captains of industry, or sports legends. Oddly enough, no one was told they would end up as an inconspicuous couch potato. The reason for these startling revelations was the Ouija Board we were using for the predictions. Of course, something deep down told us to approach the Ouija Board predictions skeptically since the planchette floating around the Ouija board was merely responding to our subconcious desires filtered through our fingers placed atop it.

Yes, most of us have learned to treat the "predictions" of the Ouija Board with a grain of salt, AND YET, most people look upon the EQUALLY unscientific polls with awe and respect. That's right. I said "UNSCIENTIFIC." Like Ouija boards, polls will reflect the results that the people commissioning the polls desire. Either in the actual wording of the polling questions or in the tone of voice used, the pollster can subtly (whether conciously or unconciously) guide the polling planchette in the desired direction.

And now a confessional. At one point in my life I also treated polls with all the awe and respect that I thought they deserved. Whenever I heard someone dismissing the accuracy of polls, I dismissed him as a cranky old kook who probably still thinks the Earth is flat. So what brought about the change? For me it was the 1994 Congressional Elections. About 6 weeks before the election, I remember reading the polls showing that the Republicans would make some important gains in Congress. My hopes were up only to be DASHED a couple of weeks before the election when many polls stated that the Republicans had "peaked too soon" and that the Democrats were overtaking the Republicans. As a result, I approached the TV set on Election Day in a glum mood. Therefore imagine my surprise when the Republicans scored an historic VICTORY in 1994 when the Republicans picked up 54 seats in the House and 8 seats in the Senate, capturing a majority of both legislative bodies.

I VOWED to NEVER be swayed by polls again. Not only that, I did some investigations and found out that polls, far from being scientific, are RARELY correct. Remember the dead heat 1980 election between Reagan and Carter? Well, at least it was a dead heat according to the polls, most of which did NOT predict the Reagan landslide victory. And the further away the elections are from the time the polling takes place, the more meaningless the results are to the point that you might as well consult a Ouija Board for more accurate results.

Even that most "accurate" of polls, based on "infallible" polling data taken directly from voters right after casting their ballots, the much vaunted Exit Poll was proven to be COMPLETELY inaccurate on Election Day 2004. The results of that faulty Exit Poll was written on the dour face of a drunken SUSAN ESTRICH on Election Night who proclaimed as part of a bizarre slurred ramble, "Either the exit polls are completely wrong or George Bush loses." Those faulty Exit Polls caused Estrich's Victory champagne to quickly turn into bitter medicine desperately downed by the Democrat News Analyst to kill the pain of DEFEAT. Of course, the professional pollsters later claimed that there was a series of "logical" reasons to explain away the huge error of the Exit Polls: overpolling certain groups, underpolling other groups, using amateur data collectors, etc., etc.. And I can give them "logical" explanations as to why the Ouija Board of my teenage experience was not accurate.

To sum up, polls will say what interest groups WANT them to say. They can be used as a TOOL in a very LIMITED basis to help candidates find out where to campaign or what issues to stress. Other than that, polls are notoriously INACCURATE as electoral predictors. Of course, the Mainstream Media LOVE polls since they can easily get them to validate their own liberal agenda. Hardly an evening goes by nowadays that a network newscast (often at the beginning of the program) fails to cite Bush's "plunging" poll numbers. Yeah, and if those polls were not made via Ouija Board tactics to reflect what the media pays them to reflect, the pollster would find himself replaced by the news organization so he knows where to lead his planchette to keep his income stream steady.

So with all the obsession over what are completely UNSCIENTIFIC polls, it is amusing to watch the DUmmies sweat beads over those very same polls as you can see in this THREAD titled, "What I find totally depressing about recent polls..." Yes, DUmmies, polls have almost NO BASIS in reality but guess what? If you get so upset over those phony polls, I'm just going to sit back and watch you agonize over that particular Ouija Board. So let us now watch the DUmmies mesmerized by polls that mean nothing in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, wondering if Democrat Chairman Terry McAuliffe consulted a Ouija Board or a poll when he gloatingly declared, "Jeb Bush is gone," a few days before Governor Bush was re-elected in a LANDSLIDE, is in the [brackets]:

What I find totally depressing about recent polls...

[A DUmmie who believes in the AWESOME power of the Ouija Board well as astrology, alchemy, and divining chicken entrails.]

...however positive the results may seem to us, is that there apparently exists a solid, unshakable 33%-40% bloc of support for a president with authoritarian leanings and a seemingly complete disregard for the Constitution and Bill of matter how badly he does.

[Good news! That number just declined from 36.8% to 36.6% in the past month according to the Ouija Board Polls. Even more important the astrological chart shows the Moon rising in Uranus which does not portend well for Bush.]

Think on that awhile. In a way, I could better stomach genuinely high approval ratings (60%+) for Bush if things were going well (as they did for Reagan during the mid-'80s boom"). That way, I'd figure that it was merely the results of Bush's leadership they were approving of, not the philosophy behind it.

[Think about it. We have a strong economy now. Think about it.]

But, as it is, it seems to me that a third of the country or more just likes the idea of a right-wing dictatorship -- fascism without even making the trains run on time. And I hate to think what that bodes for the future.

[Maybe the trains aren't running quite on time but the rest of the economy is working well. Think what that bodes for the future of the poll takers when their predictions are ONCE AGAIN proven WRONG.]

It is rather discouraging.

[Yes, DUmmies. Toss yourselves over the cliff in frustration over poll results that are no more accurate than a Ouija Board.]

His numbers continue to slide downward and I take exception to your phrase "there apparently exists a solid, unshakable 33%-40% bloc of support". His support is neither solid nor unshakable and will continue its slow but inexorable decline.

[I can make the results of those polls rise or fall at least 10 points just in the way I say the word "Bush" while asking the "scientific" poll questions. Saying "Bush" in a sneering tone like a media pundit can easily drive those numbers way down.]

Maybe yes, maybe no...but I have to wonder what more it would take for current Bush supporters to turn. If they haven't concluded, in the face of all the current evidence, that Bush is a miserable failure, would he need to be caught tunneling into the local bank, or shoot someone in public (hey, it worked for Cheney!), or (gasp) be revealed to have received blow-jobs from a young intern?
My point is that those who currently back Bush do so in spite of the results of his presidency. Which tells me that they are people who embrace his ideology of imposing a right-wing agenda (and the Constitution be damned), not his effectiveness. In other words, a bloc who prefer right-wing philosophy to democracy. And that's a chilling thought indeed, because, long after Bush is gone, they'll still be voting.

[We...are... mind-numbed ... robots ... who ... must... listen... to... Rush... And the FUnnie thing is that many liberals buy into that line. I was at a park once listening to Rush on a bench with my portable radio. After a while a liberal type old guy walked nearby and looked at the radio in disgust. "You listen to that guy?" he asked in disgust." "Yes," I replied, "I need to be told how to think." The liberal guy just sadly shook his head up and down and went on his way, totally missing the sarcasm in my reply. In his mind, I merely confirmed his belief in lock-step unthinking EVIL right-wingers.]

You hit it on the head!

[I think he fell on his noggin.]

His support will bottom out at no higher than 20%
which corresponds to the percentage of hardcore RW religious fanatics who have supported him all along. No chance of change there, however their sway on American politics in general is slipping along with Bush's falling popularity. He has lost the great majority of Independents, has completely lost Dems and now many in his own party are finished with him. I can't be overly concerned with the 20% of fundies who still adore the nincompoop when they are all he has.

[And how is President Kerry doing since his big win as predicted by the Exit Polls? I hope he is enjoying the way Mama T is gliding his planchette over his Ouija Board.]

I wonder how the 33% compares to those with enough money
to be profitting from all of the "mistakes" that have been made

[Let's be accurate. It is 33.2% according to the Ouija Board Polls.]

The 33% are the Christofascisti; they've been told Bush is God, err,
good and they always believe what they've been told to believe. They would gladyly see most of us here exterminated so America
could be more godly.

[Your statement is an OUTRAGE! The correct number is THIRTY-THREE POINT TWO PERCENT!!!]

I don't believe for a second that these polls accurately reflect anything...more than the opinions of the people who write them.

[And this DUmmie WINS a Kewpie Doll for having a brief moment of mental clarity. The chance of this recurring is 23.6% according to the polls.]

The only people I know who still support him are truly
uninformed or stupid, or religiously insane.

[According to the latest CNN/Gallup Ouija Board Poll.]

they are like a religious cult..only more dangerous..and they are small in why we give them any creedance is beyond me! we should be wiping the floors with them..instead we pander to this sick bunch..

[And could you mop up your drool spill in the corner of the room?]

It is my belief..... that if you took any country/society/culture you would find about that percentage of people who are drawn to authoritarian leaders, and are nascent fascists. It seems to be a certain personality type, thankfully in the minority. What we have seen it that 30-40 percent become empowered in this country, and it is indeed a scary experience. Having enjoyed a heyday, the fascist-leaning American minority will likely be harder to control in the future, and that is pretty depressing.

[33.8% according to the latest ABC News Poll which is within the Ouija Board margin of error of 33.6% according to the CNN/Gallup Poll.]

I'd worry more about the 60 - 67% who don't support him and how to get them to vote Demo in 2006. But first we must motivate the base.

[About the same percentage didn't support the Sandinista Opposition according to the polls in the 1990 Nicaraguan election. Those polls showing an overwhelming Sandinista electoral victory proved "accurate" until the day of the elections when the Sandinistas LOST in a landslide.]

It's the Apocalypse factor. It truly is religious based. Forget common sense. Forget all your normal reasons otherwise. They believe we are in our last days, deficits are meaningless, they have won the abortion argument, morality has been politicized and everything is under control. You have to love them for it though. They are sticking up for what they believe just as well as you are.

[What about the weird DUmmie belief in the Ouija Board Polls?]

Whatever people's personal reasons and motives for...
Supporting the Bushco, I have a hard time believing that there is genuinely 30-plus percent of our populace that actually supports them.

[Me too. I believe that number is well above 50% although this is based on personal observation, not the Ouija Board Polls which actually reflect the opinions ONLY of the Media Types with their fingers guiding the polling planchette to the desired results.]

Mike Malloy.... coined a term for this years ago. He calls them the "30% idiot contingent". They are mostly deluded "christians". Bush could sprount horns, a tail and wave a trident and they would still support him. The only good thing is that they are not a majority, and they never will be.

[Must believe this! MUST BELIEVE THIS! Oh please tell me it is true my almighty Ouija Board Poll planchette. Verify my beliefs!]

Beyond being a non majority, a very slim minority.

[Yes! Yes! My Ouija Board Polling Planchette told me that LESS than 1% of the country supports Bush. I BEEEEEEELEEEEEEEVE!!!!!]

i truely believe * could......... screw a pink elephant on the front lawn of the white house with a million cameras catching the action..and they would find some damn excuse for him. they are sick people and why we pay one damn bit of attention to those sicko's is beyond me..they are not even a real minority.

[Methink you are being screwed by a pink planchette that validates the beliefs flowing through your DUmmie fingers.]

Conversely, the fact that this admin likely doesn't even have 30%, yet "we the people" haven't risen up and kicked these guys' asses is a far more troubling reality.

[30%. Down from 33.6% since this DUFU edition began according to the latest CNN/Ouija Poll.]

Interesting phenomena isn't it? Where is their ideology inculcated? Fascist families? Some institution for morons? Nazi school? Just where the f*ck does it come from is the burning question?


I put a lot of the blame on the RW "Noise Machine".

[As opposed to the LW "Media Machine" which leads off their newscasts with the latest "low" Ouija Board Poll numbers for Bush.]

Yes, and terrifying to realize just how many...
People mentally digest such garbage while perceiving it as "reality."

[According to the latest CNN/Ouija Poll, 99.9% of all DUmmies BEEEEEELEEEEVE in creating their own alternate reality in which John Kerry was inaugurated as President due to his overwhelming victory in the Exit Polls.]

Sunday, March 26, 2006

DUmmie FUnnies 03-26-06 (DUmmies Attack Pied Piper Pitt)

My primary purpose in writing this DUmmie FUnnies Blog is for folks to get a lot of entertaining LAUGHS at the foibles of the DUmmies and their Leftist cohorts. And one of the favorite DUmmies that is highlighted here is Pied Piper (William Rivers) Pitt whose self important pomposity coupled with his utter INCOMPETENCE as a political strategist has been the source of MANY hiliarious DUFU editions. However, it now appears that the last DUmmie FUnnies edition, Pied Piper Pitt---The New Bob Shrum? has caused the DUmmies to angrily ATTACK Pied Piper Pitt as you can see in this THREAD titled, "Duckworth, Scott attend DuPage County Unity Breakfast, Cegelis does not." Not only did Pitt demean the eventual winner of the Democrat congressional primary in the 6th Illinois district but he revealed information that proved that his own candidate was a complete IDIOT. So let us now watch the DUmmies fire their cannonballs across the bow of the Good Ship Pitt in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, watching safely out of the line of fire from within the confines of a Newton schoolyard, is in the [brackets]:

Duckworth, Scott attend DuPage County Unity Breakfast, Cegelis does not

[Cegeilis is probably busy attending an Anger Management program. She is not only angry about losing but is also ANGRY at her campaign adviser, Pied Piper Pitt, for publicly revealing her as an IDIOT.]

6th District Democrats rallying to defeat Roskam

[Sans Cegelis, it doesn't sound like much of a rally.]

By Kathryn Grondin
Daily Herald Staff Writer
Posted Sunday, March 26, 2006

DuPage County Democrats are thirsty — thirsty to win a seat in Congress.

They say they think their goal finally will be within reach this November in the traditionally Republican 6th Congressional District, where retiring political icon U.S. Rep. Henry Hyde’s seat is up for grabs.

“Even Moses got out of the desert,” Joan Brennan, a state central committeewoman, said Saturday. “I want out of the desert. Don’t you?”

[Follow Moses Pitt around in circles for 40 years and he will lead you AWAY from the promised land. Back to the news story...]

The question drew resounding applause Saturday during a party unity breakfast in Oakbrook Terrace.

“The Republicans are losing their stranglehold on this district,” said the party’s nominee, Tammy Duckworth. “The middle-class lifestyle is in jeopardy. We need to take care of our families.”

“We’re going to go out there and fight … advocate for the working families of this district,” Duckworth said. “I am strong enough to stand up to Peter Roskam and all of his powerful interests.”

But before Democrats can effectively wage a unified campaign against Roskam, they must rebuild some bridges within their own party.

Saturday’s breakfast was supposed to demonstrate unity among Duckworth and the two primary foes she vanquished on Tuesday, Lindy Scott of Wheaton and Christine Cegelis of Rolling Meadows.

Scott attended but Cegelis — who unsuccessfully had taken on Hyde two years ago — did not.

Bridget Dooley, who worked on the Cegelis campaign, said Cegelis had a family commitment and could not attend.

“We are a family, a Democratic family, and blood is thicker than water,” Scott said. “The bad news is that in our Democratic family, like any family, there are hurt feelings. There’s a lot of pain.”

[Including the pain left by that political "genius," Pied Piper Pitt, who painted Duckworth as a stooge and Cegelis as an idiot in his campaign CONFESSIONAL.]

I wished that she had attended. She had a prior committment, but if she had won the election, I am sure she would have been at this function. It sucks to lose. But if you want the dem to win, you need to campaign against the GOP. The story should be UNITY. It is the job of Ms. Cegelis to make the story "unity". PDA too.

[PDA? Pied Piper Pitt of the Progressive DUmmies of America revealed what a DUmmie Cegelis was by allowing a QUARTER MILLION DOLLARS in campaign money disappear right under her nose. Thanx, Pitt for that revelation which will insure that Cegelis' political career is now completely DEAD.]

Reaction if Cegelis won and Duckworth has a "prior committment"? I think it would have been ugly.

[DUmmie hypocrisy.]

Prior committment is BS. What if she had won? Would she have skipped out?

[Being a SORE LOSER is the mark of a DUmmie.]

Duckworth supporters and those that criticize Cegelis will be told. . . .to be respectful, gracious, etc. but we are expected to excuse and ignore immature behavior. Double standards!

[Maybe Cegelis couldn't make the Unity shindig because she is busy trying to track down that QUARTER MILLION DOLLARS that Pied Piper Pitt revealed just vanished from her campaign.]

In his article Will Pitt pretty much reinforced my opinion of Christine's . . .fitness as a candidate and campaign management which led me to seek an alternative. I was roundly criticized for raising the very points that Will makes in his article:

[Yes, let us now read some juicy excerpts from Pied Piper Pitt's ARTICLE stabbing Cegelis in the back...]

The Cegelis campaign, meanwhile, was sailing through rough waters of its own. The campaign manager managed to spend $250,000 on nothing, putting the campaign into a deep financial hole. The ground network established since 2004 was left fallow. Six weeks before the primary, Cegelis fired her campaign manager, along with virtually her entire staff...

[Thank you, Pied Piper Pitt, for that devastating revelation about YOUR OWN candidate, thus putting her career in the GRAVE. More, more...]

Had Spidel been brought in a few weeks earlier, and had the previous campaign manager not spent a quarter of a million dollars worth of campaign funds on shadows and dust...

[Yeah, a QUARTER MILLION DOLLARS blown on "shadows and dust..." Thanx for that damning description of Cegelis idiocy, Pitt. She sounds as INCOMPETENT as you.]

This is from Will Pitt, not Rahm, not the DCCC, not the DLC, but God of all Gods William Rivers Pitt. When I and others raised the very issues in bold as causes for concern and reasons to look for alternatives we were told they were BS and roundly criticized.

[Pied Piper Pitt...The DUmmie gift to Republicans.]

Will Pitt is a Democratic establishment shill and a political opportunist. If you don't believe me, read his posts in 2002, 2003, and 2004 and you can see how easily he could shift position in conjunction with a weather vane.

[And DUmmie IndianaGreen WINS a Kewpie Doll for having a brief moment of mental clarity!]

Did you read the article? Will Pitt's support of Christine was sincere . . .he was just giving an honest assesment of the situation that confronted Kevin when he took over. Why is his truth on this matter so easily dismissed by you? Oh please, Will and I were on the opposite sides of this issue but he is just being honest about the factors that contributed to Christine's troubles.

[Pied Piper PItt sincerely portrayed Cegelis as an incompetent idiot.]

As sincere as his job as Dennis Kucinich's press secretary
during the 2004 primaries. Yeah, right!

[Pied Piper Pitt was sincerely working as Dennis Kucinich's press secretary while sincerely working for Mama T's glum Boy Toy formerly known as Kohn.]

Will should not have written that. There is a lot more to the story. I was really on board with their working for Cegelis, but this was over the line. Will P. hurt the former manager publicly trying to make Spidel look good. That is inexcusable.

[Hey. At least Pitt didn't make the campaign manager look like an IDIOT like Cegelis. Pitt let him off the hook by merely making out to be a CROOK.]

For months many of us who supported Duckworth cited the Christine's campaign and financial management as a reason to look for an alternative, whenever we did we were criticized, called names told that it was not true, problem is it was true! What I think is in inexcusable is trying to keep Will quiet, saying it was wrong for him to be honest. I actually thinks this makes Cegelis look good because it shows that she staged a hell of a comeback. Lets not hide from the truth. I think its laughable that Will gets praise when he says what some want to hear but when he says what they don't want to hear he is told he should not have written that.

[Will gets praised for SLAMMING a Duckworth supporter. They probably have warm feelings in the Duckworth campaign for Pitt because his incompetence doomed their opponent's campaign.]

What a shame. Here we were taking delight in the failure of the GOPers to get it together after their Gov primary race. Now we face the same. This shows character and the lack thereof.

[Don't discourage the RAT bashing. I'm ENJOYING it!]

So you guys are going to blame Cegelis if Duckworth loses.
This is going on at Kos and other places. Setting Cegelis up for blame.

[I think it is UNFAIR to blame Cegelis for Duckworth's future defeat. I think Pied Piper Pitt deserves that honor.]

Not at all. But I remember reading in many forums that if Cegelis won, the Duckworth supporters had better get behind her fully. It would be good to see unity but Duckworth must be responsible for her campaign. The fact that some Cegelis supporters will not support Duckworth is shameful.

[Cegelis would have like to have been at that Unity breakfast but she had to be at the bedside of a second cousin suffering from an ingrown toenail.]

The fact that Duckworth opposes a withdrawal from Iraq is shameful Duckworth does not support Murtha's call for an immediate withdrawal from Iraq.

[Even Murtha doesn't support his own plan. He didn't even vote for his OWN plan when it was presented to Congress for a vote. It reminded me of Chuck Rangel voting against his OWN plan to re-institute the draft.]

I liked her before but if she chooses to undercut the Dems chance to pick up the seat, grrrrrr. This isn't about one person. It is about taking back the damn House.

[It is about making John Conyers Chairman of the House Judiciary Committee. It is about impeaching Bush.]

Duckworth is just what we needed, a crusader for bourgeois values and an advocate for the investor class!

[Chant that to the tune of the "Internationale," DUmmie IndianaGreen.]

I understand the disappointment over Cegelis not attending this event, but it serves no purpose to overly dwell on this, or to amp up those feelings into something stronger. November is a long way off, there is still plenty of time for Cegelis to make an important contribution to electing a Democrat, Duckworth, in this Congressional district. In particular I think it counterproductive to everyone to now question either her character or prior abilities as a candidate. The whole point of this thread is a plea for Party unity. I fail to see how saying anything negative about Cegelis now in any way advances Party unity. I can only see it doing the opposite, if anything. We need to let go of this competition. If in fact people don't accept the reason Cegelis gave for not attending on face value, then perhaps it is a little bit harder for her to let go of her feelings after fighting for this seat for over two years and coming so close to winning the Primary days ago. Cegelis has not been at all bitter toward Duckworth in her public words. Let's not further drive a wedge between the groups of supporters each of these women have. Let's be part of the solution, not the problem.

[Pied Piper Pitt has made it a problem by slamming Duckworth as a STOOGE of the Party insiders and by claiming that Cegelis is an IDIOT by allowing a QUARTER MILLION DOLLARS of her campaign funds to just disappear into the air.]

i fully support what you've said ... threads like these just pour gasoline on a very real, very large fire ...

[And Pied Piper Pitt has conveniently provided a very large gas can.]

Cegelis on Laura Flanders last night. Made it clear that the tactic the Duckworth campaign is using now is not that very appropriate...I don't remember the exact words but about the fact that the Duckworth campaign was using the "fall in line" tactic.

[It sounds like Cegelis still hasn't gotten over losing. BTW, has Cegelis ever tracked down her campaign manager who wasted the QUARTER MILLION DOLLARS right under her nose (according to Pied Piper Pitt)? Methinks that if Cegelis checks around in the Caribbean Island vacation spots, she might be able to find that campaign manager.]

the arrogant stupidity of any Democrat who believes people should "just go along" is a perfect way to lose elections ... you don't earn votes by disrespecting voters and not representing their positions on critical issues ... the party, specifically Emanuel and the DCCC, stuck a knife in our backs when they ran Duckworth ... if they want our support now, they'd better offer a whole lot more than "breakfast" ...

[How about "brunch?"]

" the 6th CD of Illinois" of which Duckworth was not even a resident. Seems to me like residency ought to be some sort of pre-requisite.

[Duckworth isn't even a RESIDENT of the Congressional district she is running from. Another JUICY tidbit that Pitt revealed earlier. Thanx, Will!]

Duckworth supports parental notification laws a fact that Emily's List seems to have conveniently overlooked!

[DUmmies believe there should be parental notification for having your ears pierced but NOT for an abortion.]

DCCC backs a candidate that doesn't even live in the district
and defeat a grassroot candidate by virtue of their money and the Beltway personalities that backed the insider's candidate, and they still expect people that supported one of their own to march in lockstep in support of the winner. DCCC fumbled the ball with Paul Hackett and his supporters and now they are fumbling the ball with the Cegelis supporters. I am glad I live in a working class district that is represented by a Democratic congresswoman!

[Rosa Luxemburg?]

Duckworth, with the full backing of the party apparatus and their biggest guns eek out a slim victory now she expects her opponent to rally around her? Are you kidding? and now because Cegalis doesn't want to be put through a gloating victory party breakfast, under the ruse of "unity" she's being attacked?

[For the good of the Party, Cegelis needs to be the subject of a massive GLOAT.]


[GIVE HER A FEW YEARS TO RECOVER...her QUARTER MILLION DOLLARS in disappearing campaign funds. (Hat tip to Pied Piper Pitt!)]