Tuesday, July 05, 2005

DUmmie FUnnies 07-05-05 ("We're looking for *1000* committed DUers for the DU Activist Corps")

Good news! The DUmmies are stepping up from being mere Web Whiners and putting themselves FRONT and CENTER in the battle for the next Supreme Court Justice as you can see in this THREAD titled, “We're looking for *1000* committed DUers for the DU Activist Corps,” authored by DUmmie Skinner himself. So am I being merely sarcastic when I say this is GOOD NEWS? No. It is good news because much as the professional Democrats try to avoid the embarrassment of being associated with the DUmmies, this time around they can’t avoid it. Yes, Democrats. Meet DUmmie Mopaul the lunatic and DUmmie benburch who threatened to murder Freeper franksolich. Oh, you folks in the public see a DUmmie named IndianaGreen? “Gee. He calls himself a concerned progressive and with that screen name he must be concerned about the environment.” Then perhaps you should read this IndianaGreen RANT about Americans soon wanting to jump on rafts and float to Cuba “seeking freedom and democracy.” Almost all the DUmmie antics are chronicled here in the DUmmie FUnnies. Therefore whenever the DUmmies get more prominent in the news it is GOOD NEWS for the DUFUs since we are right on their tail. In fact, I look upon the DUFUs as a clearinghouse library for DUmmie lunacy. EVERY journalist reporting on the DUmmie antics in the forthcoming Supreme Court fight WILL be contacted by YOURS TRULY with information gathered here about the REAL FACE of the DUmmies behind their public masks. This edition leads off with a self-important pronouncement by DUmmie Skinner in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, promising that the DUFUs will be the Blog of Record about the DUmmies, is in the [brackets]:

We're looking for *1000* committed DUers for the DU Activist Corps

[Oh Boy! The DUmmie Troopers are forming! Do they get Secret Decoder Rings that decipher “IHOP,” “MIHOP,” and “BFEE?”]

As I'm sure you are all aware, the resignation of Supreme Court Justice Sandra Day O'Connor marks the beginning of what will likely be a massive battle over who will take her place. It is a battle in which Democratic Underground intends to play a role. As one of the more moderate members of the court, O'Connor has been the deciding vote for numerous extremely important court decisions. Her successor could tip the balance of power for years to come.

[BEAUTIFUL!!! The DUmmies are stepping up to the plate…and the DUmmie FUnnies will be letting the country know just what kind of loons they are via THEIR OWN WORDS as chronicled in 300+ editions of the DUmmie FUnnies.]

After four years of building this website from nothing into the most popular liberal discussion forum, it is time for us to be more active in helping our members become political activists. We had long hoped that by bringing such a large group of people together, a significant level of activism would occur spontaneously without our help. This has happened on occasion, and our members have contributed to many important causes, but too much of the process is left to chance. The time has come for some official organization.

[Such a shame, Skinner. Most of the time the “activism” of the DUmmies is really nothing more than banging the keyboard in the eerie glow of a monitor screen in a dark corner of their parents’ basements.]

We start in a good position, because we've got thousands of people here every day -- somewhere in the neighborhood of 40,000 people visit Democratic Underground on a typical day. But we face a number of challenges. I believe our two biggest obstacles have been the following: 1) This place is so large that most requests for activism get lost in the shuffle; and 2) Many members feel that there is no guarantee that anyone else will take action, so it seems pointless to spend time doing stuff yourself.

[Give me some credit, Skinner, for sending a large chunk of the visitors your way. What happens is that when NORMAL folks read the DUmmie rantings in Bolshevik Red in the DUmmie FUnnies, they can’t quite believe someone actually posted those rabid outbursts so they have to follow the DUmmie link provided to check your asylum for themselves.]

I don't think we can overcome these obstacles by simply posting stuff and saying "Hey everybody! Do this now!" We need to do more.

[Hurry! Hurry! Gather some more evidence of vote stealing in Ohio. We need it to make a court filing and overturn the election. Hey everybody! Do this now!]

With this in mind, today we are proposing the creation of the Democratic Underground Activist Corps. The idea is simple: Identify and bring together the members of our community who are willing to make a personal commitment to activism. Only after we have a critical mass of people who have made that personal commitment, we can start the hard work of actually trying to make a difference. We could eventually bring together thousands of people, but I think the minimum number necessary to make this worthwhile is 1000.

[DUmmieland reached critical mass long ago, Skinner, and already achieved Mental Meltdown.]

If you are not willing to make a serious commitment to activism, please do not sign up. We are looking for people who are ready and willing to "sign on the dotted line," to make a personal commitment to do your part in the actions of the DU Activist Corps.

[Can I get me a DUmmie Trooper camo uniform? Huh Skinner? Huh? Huh?]

The Activism & Events forum has been renamed as the "DU Activist Headquarters" and it has been moved to the top of the Admin Picks section of the Forum Lobby, Latest, and Greatest Pages. The DU Activist Headquarters will serve as ground zero for discussion of all things related to activism, and will give members an area to propose and discuss possible activism by Activist Corps. When an official action for the Activist Corps is agreed upon, one of the DU Administrators will post a thread in the Activist Headquarters and pin it to the top of that forum. (We understand that our members are busy and do not have unlimited time to devote to activism. We will be respectful of your time when new actions are posted -- probably once every few days.)

[Let me guess. Pied Piper Pitt is going to try to appoint himself a general in the DUmmie Troopers.]

Once an Official Action thread has been posted in the Activist Headquarters, every registered member of the DU Activist Corps will be sent a private message and/or email message to let you know that it is there. Each Official Action will have clear instructions, and a clear deadline.

[Oooh! Oooh! Official Action threads and an Activist Headquarters! Oooh! I feel such a chill going down my spine!]

When you have completed the action, you should return to the Activist Headquarters and register that you are done. We will have a function set up to handle this member reporting, which will likely work on the honor system. The system will keep a running total of who has taken action.

[DUmmie Faye…Here is your Official Action Assignment---pick up pizza and beer. When you have completed this action, if you haven’t slobbered it all down first, you should return to the Activist Headquarters. And wipe those pizza stains from your armpits.]

When you report back that you have completed a particular action, a permanent notation will be added to your personal Activist Profile (which will be linked from your DU member profile). Each member of the DU Activist Corps will have a permanent record of each action they participated in.

[You must FOLLOW ORDERS!!! If you do not, you won’t get any brownie points and eternal shame will follow you unto the end of time.]

We are considering possibly giving members of the DU Activist Corps a special notation on their profile and/or posts, indicating that they are registered members of the Activist Corps. If a member stops participating in the Activist Corps for an extended period of time, they may lose their designation as an Activist Corps member. (They can easily join again when they are ready to do so.) We are still working out some of the details.

[Why not just go all the way and assign DUmmie Trooper ranks?… Make me CAPTAIN! Please Skinner! I wanna be CAPTAIN!!!]

That's how it's going to work. Now, all we need are 1000 committed DU activists!

[But first you must get 1000 DUmmies total. Remember tombstoned DUmmies and LOUSY FREEPER TROLLS don’t count so attaining that number will be difficult. And now the rest of the DUmmies will provide us with the comedy lines…]

Praise the Lord and pass the ammo, lets get this shit done!

[DUmmie AUYellowDog, your Official Action assignment is to continue sitting on your toilet seat to “get this shit done!”]

I'm in! I've been doing this sort of thing all along, anyway. I hesitated to sign up at first because I was afraid it might entail going to events or something that I just don't have time for with my schedule. Now that I've been reassured on that count, I'm in!

[Have no fear, DUmmie silverweb. You have Special Dispensation to continue being a lazy ass and just sit in front of your computer monitor while under the delusion that you are actually doing something useful.]

I've never been passive. But I've never thought of myself as an activist before. Can you give me an idea how much of a commitment it will take. I have some money I can donate (not much), and I have some time to write letters and e-mails. I'd like to take part, but I don't want to join and then drop the ball.

[Don’t worry, DUmmie wryter2000. You may continue being as lazy as DUmmie silverweb. Just send you money to Skinner c/o Andy Stephenson. Oh and you can slouch out of doing REAL WORK by sending out a few useless e-mails.]

We intend to be respectful of members's schedules. We will not ask you to do something every day. If it's something simple (say, voting in an online poll) then time shouldn't be an issue. But if it's something that requires a little more time (writing a letter to the editor) we would only ask every week or so.

[How much time will it take to hang around outside the Senate Judiciary Committee Room and screech like lunatics, Skinner?]

Would this involve online activism (emails, petition signing, etc.) or protesting, going to events, etc.? Or is it both?

[Translation: Please don’t assign me to real work by telling me to do something offline.]

At the moment, we have no plans for this to include events or protesting.

[Somehow I have the feeling this will lead to offline rabid droolings outside of Senate Committee Rooms. World…Meet the DUmmies!]

can you give some examples of the types of actions that will be requested? each person will have different strengths to offer any activism and i for one, know that i am willing to do whatever i can to influence the outcome of the coming battle but i want to make sure that i can fulfill the commitment if i were to sign up.

[Your Official Action Assignment, DUmmie shugah, is to clean the DUmmie Latrine…with your tongue,

If it can be done from home. I’m in.

[And if I have to step one foot from my front door. I’m out.]

As long as I don't have to walk, I'm in.

[God forbid you move your lazy ass one foot forward. Too much work.]

Shouldn't there be some kind of a filter to ensure that there aren't saboteurs involved in this?

[Hee! Hee!]

have people agree to a short CONTRACT agreeing not to be a freeper

[Yeah. Now that’s a workable plan. Oh, and I’m not a freeper. Honest.]

I'm ready to do whatever it takes. I've been stewing in my own anger and fear since I found out about O'Connor's resignation. If I don't take this energy and direct it to actual action I will most likely go insane at this point.

[You’ve long since passed the point of insanity.]

Would you be interested in linking your efforts to PDA? I can wire your corps and our corps together.

[Pied Piper Pitt, you can take Skinner's complete NON-response to trying to hog in on the action as a cold shouldered reply in the negative. Apparently Skinner still hasn’t forgiven you for being Scamdy’s chief cheerleader in his Wire Fraud at DUmmieland.]

Great idea!! I've just signed up...what's my first assignment!

[Your first assignment? STFU!]

As an aside, I've been wanting to apologize for never having donated; I'm going to school now (at age 46) because I was laid off (2 days after the election). Even though I'm a secretary, I was classified as a Trade Affected Worker, which made me eligible for retraining. It's my 3rd layoff since the shrub was installed the first time. In other words, I'm kinda broke and likely to be for another 2 years, while I'm in school. It's got the up side that in 2 years I'll have a paralegal degree, but it will take some determination on my part.

[Just curious but do you know how to wipe your tush?]

Will the letters that we are asked to write have talking points ? So we are all on the same topic.

[The talking points are from the DNC so if you miss receiving them here just tape them from the news of either ABC, CBS, or NBC.]

That's why we have to be committed.

[You’ve definitely been committed, DUmmie sfexpat2000.]


Blogger grytpype said...

Jesus, was that post long enough? Why don't you get out of your mom's basement once in awhile and get a little fresh air.

And while you're at it go enlist in the Army infantry so you can fight in your Mongoloid Leader's war of choice. They have lowered their standards so much I think you could just squeak by, and they are real desperate.

9:27 PM  
Blogger Ducky said...


9:27 PM  
Blogger Voice of Reason said...

Congratulations, PJ! The DUmmies have noticed you! Ah, a happy day this must be for you. I remember when they first noticed me, and it was just so heartwarming.

11:05 PM  

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