Thursday, December 30, 2004

DUmmie FUnnies 12-30-04 ("How have you handled the past two months on a personal level?")

Remember the Robert DeNiro character, Max Cady, in the movie, Cape Fear? Well, right now, while reading this DUmmie THREAD titled, “Be honest: how have you handled the past two months on a personal level?” I feel just like that character when he was loudly laughing right behind a terrified family in a movie theater. The only difference is that instead of a movie theater, I am laughing LOUDLY at the Drama Queen pain the DUmmies are expressing over the election results. So, put on those really loud Hawaiian shirts, light up those cigars, and LAUGH at the self-pitying antics of the DUmmies. As usual, the pained DUmmie commentaries are in Bolshevik Red, while the… AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!…comments of your humble correspondent are in the [brackets]:

Be honest: how have you handled the past two months on a personal level?

I said this in another thread: I haven't slept well for nearly two months now because of this election. I can barely eat, and I've lost ten pounds. I'm tense all the time, I move rapidly between depression and anger, and I feel like I'm isolated.

Is anyone out there feeling like this? Or am I just taking this too hard? How has everyone else been since the election? What is helping you through it?

[< Max Cady> AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! < /Max Cady>]

I know where your pounds went. I haven't slept well for nearly two months now because of this election. I eat all the time, and I've gained ten pounds. I'm tense all the time, I move rapidly between depression and anger, and I feel like I'm isolated.

[And I move rapidly between jubilation and elation, and I feel vindicated.]

No, I know where her pounds went. I've been the same way. All I want to do is eat and I've gained 12 pounds since the week before the election.

[NEWSFLASH!!! The election has been over for nearly 2 months. It is safe now to lift your face from that bag of marshmallows.]

I believe that our country will overtly become fascist and to live in a society like that is not in my vocabulary. I have two teenaged sons, a business and a very comfortable home, and am torn about shedding my "stuff" and relocating, resisting (and possibly spend my years meditating in a camp somewhere), or will I not have the courage and become like those in Nazi Germany just accepting?

[Just to feed into this DUmmie’s paranoia, they should have a French voice making announcement over a loudspeaker on Inauguration Day in D.C.. Then, ala Casablanca, the French voice is replaced by a German voice making an announcement starting with “ACHTUNG!”]

I am continually nervous and frightened. I grew up in a democracy, and living under a dictatorship is something I never mentally prepared for. My heart races, my hands shake, my feet sweat, and I wake up many times in the night. It doesn't seem to get better over time, although the depression is gradually replaced by anger and fear.

[Have you caught jock itch yet?]

I feel like a German of the '30's. I wince and grimly look around me and feel... very uncomfortable. It's hard to focus on work, I feel like our whole paradigm is about to change.

[Paradigms SHIFT, not change. Get your DUmmie talking points right.]

When I saw the election turn during the night of Nov 2 & 3, I kind of went into shock. When I woke up the next morning and my husband told me Kerry just conceded, I felt like my guts had been ripped out. I'm NOT OVER IT!! And I never will be.
But I know it's going to get a whole lot worse for our country before this nightmare is over. I feel like I've always been "married" to America, and then find out this "spouse" is a serial killer/rapist, on hard drugs, with a huge gambling problem that just wiped us out, before he ran off with my children into hiding, and his brother, the judge, just stuck me with child support payments that I can't pay, and I may go to jail if I don't come up with the money, which I can't, because I lost my job. << I know that sounds pretty melodramatic; but all those feelings of betrayal, desperation, injustice, hopelessness, outrage, insanity, loss, grief.... I feel them all at the same time.

[< Max Cady> AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! < /Max Cady>]

I can't stand to get up in the morning without checking DU. I abandon my own message board to wait here for news. My fingernails - GONE. I forego make-up to check DU before I leave the house. Dishes tend to pile up for a couple of days now. I feel hopeless, disgusted, angry, motivated all at once. I email politicians and media people all friggin' day. My online friends are sick of hearing me talk about this stuff. I sleep until I can't sleep anymore, but still wake up too early. I am frustrated because people don't understand the magnitude of this or its importance. They don't know, and they don't want to know. I finally crumbled and cried (can't remember what development set me off; it was about 2 weeks ago).

[Somehow I get the feeling you WON’T be a New Year’s Eve Life of the Party person.]

And I am angry. I am angry that we are not taking to the streets like they did in Russia. I am angry that we do idiotic things--like standing in front on an empty house--when we should be taking our country back. Why are our leaders so ineffective?

[Don’t be so down on yourself. That freezing in front of Kerry’s empty townhouse bit was GREAT comedy relief!]

Nervous, irritable....a bit withdrawn, smoking too much, weird sleep patterns. I think I've lost weight; I know I'm vitamin-deficient in all sorts of ways, not much appetite. I know I don't laugh as easily as I did before the election. I know I'm not taking as much pleasure in fun silly things as I used to. Likeminded people help. The 'Return of the King' EE helps; oddly enough, so does exquisitely depressing music like Leonard Cohen and Nick Drake and Richard Thompson. (And sometimes 'Dr. Strangelove...' and Sabbath's 'War Pigs') Drafting endless letters to various political figures (two of which have actually gotten e-mailed) seems to briefly alleviate the symptoms.

[< Max Cady> AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! < /Max Cady>]

It's been hard, frankly. I get a white hot surge of rage sometimes. What the hell is wrong with this country anyway? I live in Southern California. People in the red states hate us. They've got political power, thanks to the effing Electoral College. I've got relatives in Texas who are laughing up their effing sleeves. Where the hell are all the Democratic leaders? We gotta DO something about this. This sucks.

[Have you considered a Prozac overdose?]

I feel like I'm in the f*cking Twilight Zone. There is this big smelly Elephant sitting in the corner of my house but I can only talk about it with a few people. I think realizing the major media outlets have completely gone to the dark side is what really hit me hardest. I was a basket case for the first couple of weeks after the election - little sleep, distracted and feeling like I was going nuts, but since then I've learned to deal with this new bizarre reality I find myself in. Thank god I found DU. My wife has also helped calm me down a bit. I've never been one for conspiracy theories and this election fraud issue has always just seemed like elementary connect the dots - which is why seeing so many people in denial of it just boggles my mind.

[That big smelly Elephant sitting in your house just left one hell of a big pet deposit on your floor.]

dazed and confused...starved for the truth...angry, passionate, patriotic, fearful,determined, anxious and ready to fight like hell for the dignity and integrity of our vote! So much to deal has truly been one hell of a ride...

[< Max Cady> AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! < /Max Cady>]

I REALLY needed Kerry to win the elction, for me personally as well as for the country and the world. I hoped that getting GWB out of office would free me so that I could move on with my life. I live alone and have isolated myself terribly. I have been utterly unable to work or do anything to either be productive or make any money for over 2 years now. I have been hanging out in places where I sometimes/often see no hope for myself.

[Those heroin shooting galleries do tend to have that effect on you.]

Depression, preoccupation, nightmares, distraction, apathy, misery, hopelessness, insomnia, poor eating habits, social avoidance, repeated thoughts of expatriation and various and sundry other personal upsets.

[So where’s the downside for you?]

i am pissed though at being called idiotic yesterday on TV by Novak. if you missed crossfire, he called "us" in other words believers idiots. and said the recount is over and so it the election - and we are all looking for Kerry to come to our rescue. its things like that that bother me. that make me think every word we type is being looked at. all of this will be repeated by some moron on a freeper board. and taken out of context. makes me crazy.

[Hee! Hee! And may I place your name on the DUFU Ping List, DUmmie roenyc?]

I will never give up! Yes, I've put on weight, I'm drinking heavily and smoking pot when I can find it. I'm on antidepressants and stomache medicine. I vary between anger, sadness, and a numbness that pervades my soul. I have 2 Kerry, 2 DU, a Bush Knew, a What Mandate?, and a Don't blame me, I voted for Kerry bumper stickers on my car and I will continue to taunt the ignorant Bush voters with their stupidity and remind them of their responsibility for the next 4 years of fiasco at every opportunity.

[Take another hit on that pot and INHALE deeply.]

must we air our dirty laundry to the freepers
can't this be posted in the lounge, where the freeps might not venture?

[You must! You must!]

I try to tell people that this election was not fair & free....They say.."I did not here this on the news" .Then I tell them the news is owned by corporations and its in there best interest to keep the king in power bla bla bla .....they ask were is John Kerry?
I keep screaming but no one wants to here me , they tell me to GET OVER IT .....I know in my heart I'm not nuts and neither are the rest of us who are convinced of the fraud . Yet most people have no idea what happened and how the election system is set up. For many you vote, they count votes then there's a winner. I really think ignorance would be bliss..once you learn the facts about this its hard not to be totally effected.

[< Max Cady> AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! < /Max Cady>]

it didn't sink in until the electors were certified. i was sure that the truth would set us free, and gulped down the truth every day here at du. i was sure we would be saved. but, once those electors were certified, it sank in. just in time for christmas. i had a horrible holiday, and took the family down with me. i am so torn. i fight within myself all the time to keep my sense of self. when you are the mom of 5 kids, that is already hard. but i have taken the misdeeds of the * administration personally. this is my country, and it feels like my kids have grown up to be axe murderers. either this is my country, and it is my duty to be a part of how it acts, or it is not my country any more. lose, lose.

[“I BELIEVE that John Kerry will be inaugurated on Jan. 20!!!”]

I was on the freeway on my way to work thinking Kerry wouldn't concede until ALL the votes were counted, my sister calls me and said he conceded. I was so upset I turned around and didn't go to work that day. All I could do was cry for the next few days. Then I got very angry at Kerry and Democrats, America and our political system. I withdrew from all action committees, TrueMajority,, etc. I decided that I would not do anything political ever again.

[< Max Cady> AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! < /Max Cady>]

Not going out. No movies. Spending very little money. Feeling like the bad guys are winning and the Fundies are on a rampage. Playing video games - World of Warcraft is very immersive and I don't think about the Real World. Feeling helpless and wishing there was something more substantial I could do other than give money to places. Wondering where do we go from here. No matter what happens it will not turn out well - at least for some time.

[Perhaps you should consider posting to one of those dopey “I BELIEVE!!!” threads.]

. Feeling powerless SUCKS. I haven't been able to concentrate since the campaign got going. Every time I settle down and try to get some work done, there's a voice in the back of my head, saying "That criminal is still in the white house, whattaya gonna do about it?" and "He's going to destroy SS and you're mom's gonna be moving in with you," and "How can we prove fraud, can it be proven, how can you relax if it happened?"

[It sounds like the Son of Sam is talking to you.]

Wednesday, December 29, 2004

DUmmie FUnnies 12-29-04 PM Edition ("Could the Dahli Lama help be a voice for us?")

This is a very short Dummie THREAD titled, “Could the Dahli Lama help be a voice for us?” However, it is so bizarre, even for DUmmies, that I just had to DUFU it. The very idea that the Dalai Lama would jump into the political fray here to overturn the election is completely laughable. First of all, I don’t think the Dalai Lama is even a U.S. citizen. Also, anyone who watched the movie Kundun would know the Dalai Lama would never get involved in political matters here. There was a scene in that movie where Mao Tse-Tung told the Dalai Lama that he was going to take over Tibet. So what did the Dalai Lama do? Did he rise up to protest this invasion by the Chinese? No. He just silently sat on a couch with a dopey smile on his face as Mao arrogantly told him the takeover of Tibet was for its own good. So it is hilarious that some wacko DUmmies are even toying with the idea of the Dalai Lama helping them out. Maybe they expect the Dalai Lama to sit cross-legged in the snow in silent vigil outside Kerry’s Boston townhouse. Anyway, the comments of the DUmmies from another dimension between time and space is in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, currently residing in this space/time continuum, is in the [brackets]:

Could the Dahli Lama help be a voice for us?
Shall we contact him? After all, it's his words keeping me going right now.

[Yes. I somehow remember the Dalai Lama telling his holy monks, “Kerry Won! Get Over It!!!”]

His whole life is bringing awareness and compassion to the world...Yes, he is beautiful. Does anyone have a connection with him?

[Check with Richard Gere’s gerbil.]

One may wish to contact Robert Thurman who has interviewed His Holiness, and who also has been interviewed on Air America Radio and he talked openly about this being another stolen election:

[Or perhaps one could also contact Robert Thurman’s gerbil.]

We can look to his wise words for guidance

[“A wet bird does not fly at night.” Yup! That ties in directly with Election 2004.]

Does anybody know his email address ?


I think he belongs more to the "spiritual sphere" than to the political sphere So I don't think they will listen to him (or he wan't speak about it).

[“Hi! I’m the Dalai Lama. My entire life has been a long spiritual quest. However, I am making this ONE exception to plea for Election 2004 to be overturned even though the Electoral College has already declared Bush to be the winner. Perhaps we could all hum a mantra to overturn the results. I will now return to my Spiritual Plane.”]

Possible...but he IS a political figure given his exile. I have a fantasy of him addressing the UN about US election fraud.

[Perhaps the Dalai Lama could also do a Mandalay Sand Painting flow chart to show us how Bush stole the election.]

Ok, I share this dream... I think there could be a moral "alliance" of guys like Dalai Lama, Richard Gere and other figures which would have a great impact on the thinking of Europeans. He should just put something on his website (?)... There are a lot of famous people which are listening to him and are connected with him through the Tibet mouvement.

[Have you thought of contacting Marcel Marceau to loudly protest the election results?]

DUmmie FUnnies 12-29-04 AM Edition (Pied Piper Pitt Does Gandalf The Wizard Impression)

Pied Piper Pitt, aka William RIVERS Pitt, after having his promise of something WONDERFUL happening on Monday (after the snow dog ate his homework last week) go up in smoke, is now trying to change the subject and cheer on the DUmmies with a dopey pep talk as we can see in this Dummie THREAD titled, “This is a great time to be alive.” This posting follows on the heels of a dopey story that Pied Piper Pitt posted yesterday about some guy who is a milkman who tries to be a dogcatcher (or was it the other way around or was it garbage man instead of a milkman). In any event yesterday's milkman-dogcatcher (or whatever) story was so obscurely ridiculous that even most of the DUmmies refused to be influenced by it (if they could even figure out what the story meant). So today, Pied Piper Pitt, has come back with another story, obviously influenced by watching the Lord of the Rings a few times too many. The REAL purpose of today’s silly story isn’t to rally the DUmmies. It is to make them forget that Pitt in his role as a political carnie barker did not come up with the goods at his circus sideshow. The Kerry signature on the insignificant legal filing by the Greens and the Libertarians got next to no press coverage with the sole exception of Keith Olbermann who pretty much discounted its importance. Therefore, Pied Piper Pitt has donned a Lord of the Rings costume and is trying to play a heroic tune on his pipe. Unfortunately, the Pied Piper Pitt’s pipe keeps hitting sour notes that don’t ring true. So YOWZA, YOWZA, ladies and gentlemen! Welcome to the DUmmie circus sideshow act! Step right into the tent and watch the Pied Piper Pitt do his AMAZING cheerleader act! Pitt’s performance and the DUmmie cheers (and heckling) are in Bolshevik Red while the review of your humble correspondent, critiquing Pitt’s act, is in the [brackets]:

This is a great time to be alive. Ask yourself: What kind of time would you like to live in?

[A kind of time like right now when the DUmmies, after having gloated excessively on Election Day when the believed the phony exit polls giving the victory to Kerry, had their Champaign go stale on them when the actual results came in. They then proceeded to provide us with great comedic entertainment by vainly trying to prove non-existent vote fraud while engaging in extreme fantasies of Kerry being inaugurated in January. (The “I Believe” threads are among my faves although Pied Piper Pitt’s performances are up there too.) In any event, please proceed with your latest pipe fluting Pitt…]

Would you like to live in a time with no great question, no great struggle, no great contest? I do not believe in Utopia, in a world of peace, because men are men and testosterone is addictive, and because power must always be held by someone and will therefore corrupt absolutely. But there have been times when people have only had to worry about their immediate surroundings, about their lawn or their crop or whether the King will conscript them to go fight the enemy across the sea. There is a peace in this, a peace in being absolutely powerless. Would you like to live in that time?

[It sounds like Pitt is doing a Gandalf the Wizard impression here trying to rally the DUmmie Hobbits against the dark forces of Mordor. Proceed, Pitt, this is getting funnier and funnier…]

Or would you prefer to live in a time where a great question is before you, where there is a great struggle, where there is a great contest? The gamble here is the slim, good, or certain chance of absolute defeat. Being involved at all means you have power, you have a say, you can determine the fate of the planet beyond the reach of your arm. Being involved means you must face the consequences of involvement, be there defeat or victory. Any wise person will tell you of the hazards to be found down either path, each hazard being equally deadly. Winning can be worse than losing, though both are in play.

[The fate of Middle Earth is in your hands, DUmmie Hobbits. Rally to your great Wizard, Pied Piper Pitt. And speaking of the latter, please continue with your Gandalf the Wizard impression…]

What say you? Where do you stand?

[We DUmmie Hobbits are with you Oh mighty Gandalf! Please finish your uplifting speech on a high note…]

I say this is a great time to be alive, and if defeat is to come, then let it find me on my feet, and not on my knees.

[YES! YES! We shall follow you into the Land of Mordor to Mount Doom where we shall fight the Freeper Orcs for in the Final Battle for control of the Middle Earth!]

Right on, William!!! and nothing is truly valued unless we fight for it!!! Winning back our Constitution and many other things will be well worth it ...

[Ah! A DUmmie Hobbit apparently joins the Fellowship of the Ring.]

I know not where others stand, for me give me liberty or give me death!

[On to Mount Doom!]

I remember seeing you on CSpan and thinking what a great speech you made.Within two days you posted a drunken screed bitching at DUers because they weren't acting like you wanted them to.You have done this repeatedly over the years Will,and you know it.Within the last couple of weeks you ran up to GD04 and called it a shitty swampo,and that this was the place where things were getting done.You ride the high horse continuously,but I've seen some of your emails to others and you're one of the nastiest people around if one isn't a groupie-like sycophant sucking up to you.

[You lousy Elf! How dare you cast aspersions upon the Great Gandalf, aka Pied Piper Pitt! For this act of HERESY I hereby revoke your powers of (almost) Eternal Life!]

As for the 'sycophant' stuff, that is nonsense. I get my ass kicked on this forum on a daily basis, because I participate in a way you have never approached. If I was interested in attacking people because they didn't agree with me, I'd have to quit my job and no nothing but respond to that. And again, since we're being honest here, I suggest you find a mirror. The post of yours above is the longest thing I have seen you write on this forum since you showed up. 95% of your posts are one-line snark attacks, hit and run bullshit that does nothing but cause trouble and hurt feelings. I've written 500 words to your one on this forum, and if some of those words have been ill-chosen, well, that's the result of having the balls to do more than snipe and flee.

[Attaboy, Gandalf! Way to tell off that naysaying Elf!]

You're getting a slice of fame,and like many you seem torn on how to act.I suspect you just want to be yourself and have a snarky exchange now and then,but then you also seem to want people to take your writing seriously.Unfortunately you're trying to both to the same audience,and it's something that rarely worksd for anyone.I've seen it happen to a close friend who is very popular in music right now.It's not a postion I'd wish to be in myself.I might be acting the same way.Contrary to what you think I hope you can find a balance between the two that's acceptable to you and your fans.

[Don’t discourage Pied Piper Pitt. It’s FUN to watch him do the Gandalf the Wizard impression.]

I am about to crack 30,000 posts. I've been here since May of 2001. I have gone through a hundred evolutions in that time, regarding candidates, priorities, beliefs, hopes, fears, personal issues - had a marriage blow up on me while I was here, and the agony of that lasted more than a year - etc.

Look. I'm just another activist who happens to write well enough to get a message through. At some point I crossed a terminator and became a 'personality' here, and out there. For a long, long time, I fought it. I just wanted to post like any other DUer, to vent my spleen like anyone else and to be obnoxious like anyone else and to be contradictory like anyone else. This place was my security blanket, where I could freak out (!!!!111) and enjoy the catharsis.

In the last year I have forced myself to understand that I can't do that anymore, and believe me, it has been hard. When I came here, I was NOBODY, just another poster needing help and support. Sometimes I fail at it these days, but not nearly as much. You are right to say that I have been an ass here on many occasions, but a lot of people here are asses on many occasions, yourself included. I didn't want to deal with the added burden. I hope that makes sense.

[Hmm… I am VERY impressed, Pitt. Perhaps I underestimated you. Up until now I thought you were doing a Gandalf the Wizard impression but now you are sounding more like Aragorn. Must check my “Return of the King” references.]

I know I'm ass but nobody looks up to me for guidance (thank the Lord for that).Your trying to deal with that is exactly why the poster who inferred I was jealous is wrong.It's a sucky position that I dont wish on anyone,and one of the reasons I dont post long things.The day people start taking me seriously is the day I have to act it.Joking is my only mechanism for not just sticking my head in the oven and if it's ever taken from me I'm fucked.DU is still my catharsis,and I want it to stay that way. As for the marriage thing,I can sympathize.My wife left me last week ( I can't imagine why! I'm so lovable and easy to get along with lol).

[Most likely your wife couldn’t deal with your OBSESSION with an election that has been OVER for nearly 2 months.]

I wouldn't want to be in Will's place at all,ever. I feel that he defeats his own purpose by insulting people then trying to rally them then insulting them then trying to rally them ad nauseam. Trust me,it's been going on for years here.I honestly do respect Will's talent,but he does himself no favors by lurching back and forth between the rah rah stuff and the scolding.The scolding and rude posts detract from from his good stuff and turns off many of the same people he wants to help,and who otherwise might help him.He's one person playing both the good cop and the bad cop.

[When Pitt is in his scolding mode, he sounds more like Gimli the Dwarf. However, I find his Gandalf the Wizard shtick much more entertaining!]

You know Will, I owe you a debt of gratitude. Back about two years ago, I was going totally nuts trying to figure out the reasoning behind going into Iraq. I spend days non-stop on the computer, trying to figure it out. One of those days I came upon an article you wrote about how you could possibly explain the whole thing to your daughter, how the neo-cons had hijacked the administration and their philosophy and background. It was the first piece of the puzzle that I found that made a bit of sense to me about the whole thing. You've been helping me and others try to make sense of the whole thing ever since. Keep up the good work, you have the gift of a voice that reaches people and shines some light of the truth into the darkness.

[Gandalf the Wizard has great wisdom.]

To die with the illusion intact is musical chairs. Sooner or later the music stops, and somebody's kids wind up standing there with nowhere to go. That seems to be our lot, and we can either be bitter about it or fight it. That's all I'm saying.

[Hmm… I need to check to find if the inspiration for this quote was in “The Fellowship of the Ring” or “The Two Towers.”]

I would prefer to live in a world where the future is secure. I would prefer to live in a world where our children are not drafted into unholy wars, and where faith and trust in our government is still warranted. Alas, we must play the hand that we are dealt and it appears that history is calling upon us. While I do not welcome this fight, I will not shirk from it. I stand with those battling for truth and freedom. I am in for the long fight, because I feel there is no other choice. It is a great time to reflect on exactly what being an American really means and what we are willing to sacrifice to preserve this Nation and our freedom.

[GREAT Frodo impression!]

At no time in history has the future been secure.
It has never happened. Ever. The differential has been, simply, whether the people have been aware of that or not. The Romans felt secure, and then Honorius saw the Visigoths come over the seventh hill. The walls of Troy lent a feeling of security, until Hector fell.

[Beware a Gift bearing Greeks.]

"I wish the Ring had never come to me. I wish none of this had happened." Films can be instructive. Oh yeah, books, too.

[And if anybody thinks my comparison of Pied Piper Pitt to Gandalf the Wizard is mere hyperbole, I present Pitt’s own quote above as evidence to the contrary.]

"The day may come when mankind is beaten and humbled and has no will to stand. But that day is not THIS day. THIS day we FIGHT!"

[Anybody out there know the source of this LOTR quote? I’m not quite the expert on LOTR that Pied Piper Pitt or this DUmmie Hobbit appear to be.]

"Always after a defeat and a respite, the Shadow takes another shape and grows again." "I wish it need not have happened in my time," said Frodo.

"So do I," said Gandalf, "and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do the the time that is given us. And already, Frodo, our time is beginning to look black. The Enemy is fast becoming very strong. His plans are far from ripe, I think, but they are ripening. We shall be hard put to it. We should be very hard put to it, even it it were not for this dreadful chance."

[The LOTR floodgates in Dummieland have OPENED!]

We are blessed in a weird sort of way to have had the illusion removed. We are part of the reality based community and that is a good thing. Of course, it took me seven years of therapy to embrace the realities, inner and outer.

[Suggestion: Commence another seven years of therapy.]

Bush has enveloped the world in a Cult of Death. Many will suffer and many will die. Every day that I can survive is a sort-of-great-day. Utopia is what the Cult of Death is now offering. Most people in this country have no idea of what we are talking about. Sad, really sad.

[George Bush as Saruman? But wouldn’t that role be more proper for Karl Rove?]

A little romantic and melodramatic don't you think.....The idea of being alive during great struggle may be a romantic and attractive notion but I don't necessarily agree that being involved means "you have power", "you have a say" and "can determine the fate of the planet". That's a bit melodramatic isn't it?

[Absolutely not. The future of Middle Earth rests on the fate of the One Ring.]

Tuesday, December 28, 2004

DUmmie FUnnies 12-28-04 PM Edition ("Forget Kerry... He's forgotten us- RANT")

A few of the DUmmie Lemmings, following the tunes played by Pied Piper Pitt on his flute, have suddenly discovered that it is playing a sour note. Despite the promises that SOMETHING WONDERFUL would happen this week with Kerry’s signature placed on an obscure legal paper filed in Ohio by the Greens and Libertarians, NOTHING has happened. What little coverage this has gotten on the media was on Keith Olbermann’s show and he only mentioned it to discredit its importance. So now some DUmmies are realizing that, much to their surprise, Kerry WON’T be inaugurated this January. You can read the DUmmie anger directed at Kerry in this THREAD titled, “Forget Kerry... He's forgotten us- RANT.” We lead off this thread with a RANT against Kerry by DUmmie HeyManThatsCool. As usual the DUmmie rantings are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent is in the [brackets]:

Forget Kerry... He's forgotten us- RANT. In my mind, John Kerry is the ultimate two faced schmuck.
I worked my ass off for the Kerry Edwards campaign, contributed tons of $, and contributed to the GELAC fund. I feel like my contributions (and millions of others) were all for naught... because Kerry has no FIGHT in him…

[I disagree with your description of Kerry as a two faced shmuck. I would describe him as a horse faced shmuck.]

I'm angry about it! During the election when people were calling him a flip flopper I always defended him. But you know what? HE IS A DARN FLIP FLOPPER!!! He cant even get in on the election fraud problems right. He's all over the friggin place. What's with that? I dont think he's fighting at all FOR US.. I think he is covering his own ass so that he can run again in 2008. Fat chance that I'll support that. Fool me once.....

[Can I assume that you won’t be attending the vigil in front of Kerry’s townhouse?]

And yes- I DO feel like a dam fool for being so supportive. I was out there on the front lines every single day. I've been telling everyone I know about the voter fraud issue. And wheres Kerry? No clue. Seems like only the Greens & Indys are standing up…

[Where’s Kerry? Have you checked the snow boarding slopes of Aspen?]

I hope someone with genuine integrity, conviction, spunk, maturity and common sense runs in 2008. Someone who isn't soley interested in being big man on campus. Someone who doesn't view everything through a PR view finder. Someone who doesn't walk away from a fight- and a necessary one at that- because they dont want to f up their chances of future presidential runs…


If no Dem comes up in 08 that rings true I guess I have a few choices... Green, Independent--- or just not bothering to vote at all. Obviously all votes AREN'T created equal.. and aren't counted that way. And so far no dem (Aside from Maxine Waters) is fighting for us IN A REAL AND VISIBLE WAY.

[Maxine Waters---Rumored to have cracked a smile in 1974.]

If he had any "fight" in him... where is he? Why is he ignoring all of this?

[Because he is busy snuggling up with Teresa, his Love Bunny.]

I give him until Jan. 6th to show his mettle. If he stands for democracy then I will coninue my support. If he fails to do so then I am through with him as a national candidate and also through with the Democratic party as well.

[Goodbye Democrats. Hello Socialist Workers Party.]

Even the staunchest Kerr y supporters will let loose a flood of rage IF Kerry and the rest of the Dem party doesn't stand and fight on Jan. 6th! Kerry has NO CHANCE of winning anyones vote of confidence EVER again if he does not stand up for democracy. Keep in mind though, we should feel the same about EVERY Democratic Senator and Representative who does not do his/her duty on Jan. 6th! I still have some hope left in me that he will do his duty. He has always liked doing the dirty work behind the scenes. These are the thoughts I have included to EVERY Senator I have written or emailed since this mess began. I think many others are doing the same. America is a hugely populated country. Even if the "nutcases" like us only amount to 20% of the population, that is a HUGE number of people. The Dems can't possibly think that if this many people can believe election fraud occurred, in such a short period of time, with virtually NO media coverage whatsoever, this movement will not continue to grow to proportions enormous enough to cause a serious crisis in this country.

[A great moment of self-realization there when you described you and your cohorts as “nutcases.”]

It's almost as if Kerry is just doing enough to make those of us who feel there were legitimate result-changing problems think he's actually doing something when, in reality, there isn't a whole lot you can point to that shows Kerry is helping our cause.

[So when did you finally wake up from your coma?]

He didn't attempt to "preserve the crime scene." He didn't ask to confirm the accuracy of voting machines that produced multiple voter complaints on public records. He didn't establish a vigilant presence in the continuation of the vote count. He says nothing while Blackwell makes a sham out of the Democratic process with blatant criminal behavior. He didn't establish and re-establish his expectations about the process of counting (and Recounting) the votes. He didn't talk about the vote suppression and the long lines that were factually based. He hasn't responded to new information about voting problems since his premature concession.

[Maybe Kerry should have surrounded the state of Ohio with a yellow police tape. Or is that Chrysto’s shtick?]

All of you- think for a minute! Go back to Nov 2. Remember the feeling of that day! The momentum. The positivity. The upward shift. Kerry was even writing his acceptance speech. People were ebullient! And then..... the bottom fell out. It is inconceivable to me that Bush won in any way that was on the up and up. I just don't buy it.

[You forgot to mention that the DUmmies were gloating.]

I cried when Kerry conceded. I was depressed and upset and disgusted by *s so called "mandate". I was happy and excited to get a glimmer of hope upon finding out about the election fraud. And ecstatic in the realization that there was a distinct possibility that Kerry would claim victory after all. The past 7 weeks have been an emotional roller coaster and I've spent it waiting and watching for some good news, some great news, some fabulous news.

[Keep waiting...and waiting and…]

DUmmie FUnnies 12-28-04 AM Edition ("DUmmie Thread About DUmmie FUnnies!!!)

I went into DUmmieland this morning fully expecting to do a DUFU edition about them being hit hard by the shock wave of reality after the big letdown from the BIG EVENT promised them by Pied Piper Pitt. Yes, there are such threads over there but ONE thread superseded them all. It was this DUmmie THREAD titled “This will get your hackles up...” about our very own DUmmie FUnnies!!! Specifically this DUmmie is about yesterday’s DUFU thread titled “The Sadness.” As you might remember I promised to give any DUmmie thread devoted to the DUFUs TOP PRIORITY! Every once in a while the inhabitants of my DUmmie Ant farm take a break from their normal routine and observe the big guy watching them through the glass. Let us now enjoy the DUmmies critiquing the DUmmie FUnnies. The DUmmie critiques are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent’s, enduring the slings and arrows of DUmmie slurs, is in the [brackets]:

This will get your hackles up...If you want to get psyched up for continuing this battle for democracy, just read this thread.

[WOO! HOO! Despite the fact that there is a WEALTH of material today in DUmmieland about the vast DUmmie disappointment over the many unfulfilled promises of an overturned election, I chose this thread because it is devoted to the DUmmie FUnnies. The world can change its orbit (it almost did with Sunday’s earthquake) but I ALWAYS give TOP PRIORITY to DUmmie threads about the DUFUs.]

one more reason to get a grip and quit airing our laundry ...and emotional baggage. This election was stolen. We must stay focused....people were deprived of their right to vote, etc. Stay focused.

[Stay focused… Don’t let the fact that we are making laughingstocks of ourselves divert us… Stay focused. Ignore the mocking… Get a grip. Ignore them laughing at us… Election was stolen… WILL YOU DAMN FREEPERS QUIT LAUGHING AT US SO WE CAN STAY FOCUSED!!!…Get a grip…]

Nah...who cares what they think.

[May I place you on the PING List?]

whats with that bad art by PJ-Comix

[Ahhh! This marks the first time my name has been mentioned in DUmmieland. Actually Bob Lizarraga drew the original Li’l Beaver which has been modified to a 3-D effect. To give justice to Bob, I present below one of his 2-D panels featuring Li’l Beaver and the G-Man (G. Gordon Liddy).]

God Sees The freepers , and weeps

[I see the DUmmies, and laugh.]

*rolls eyes* I'm just not affected by them anymore. They're just looking to get us mad, and it simply doesn't work on me anymore. *shrug*

Although this: 'I'm predicting some mass suicides come January. Did I say "predict". I meant "hoping for".' was ridiculous. "Yeah, you're Democrats, SO DIE!!!!!"

[That latter wasn’t my post. I’m a bit more generous to the DUmmies. I always provide a Suicide Hotline number: 1-800-BUSH-WON.]

History repeats...Brownshirts then, Freepers now. Nothing new.

[That was a cruel analogy. But just to show you there are no hard feelings, I shall sing a little bedtime song to you DUmmies.]

[Oh Fatherland, Fatherland,

Show us the sign

Your children have waited to see.

The morning will come

When the world is mine.

Tomorrow belongs to me!]

"I will have the car mileage to prove it" is actually pretty goddam funny.

[How about “Pied Piper Pitt?” Since the infamous William RIVERS Pitt made the above post I would like his input on that. Hmmm….This is getting interesting. Now that Pied Piper Pitt has been quickly losing his credibility with the DUmmies he might be seeing that his bread and butter could be located over on the Dark Side. But will YOURS TRULY succumb to this Pitt flattery? I’ll put it like this: Pied Piper Pitt has a standing invitation to the DUFU book party. I really hope he shows up playing a flute and dressed up like the Pied Piper of Hamelin.]

No. I won't waste my time reading that site. What's the point?

[Reality check.]

That was a pretty lame attempt at freeper humor...What really fascinates me is the hard on this guy has for Will Pitt. What an amazing herd of unfortunate ejaculations these Freepers are. Where are all the anthropologists?

[Pitt is interesting in that he is like a carnie barker at a circus sideshow. He barks out all sort of exciting vote fraud performances inside the tent. When the DUmmie suckers enter they see that is was all hype. The equivalent of entering a sideshow carnie tent expecting to see a half naked exotic South Seas dancer only to be confronted by a fully dressed hausfrau hag. I think the DUmmies now realize that the exotic dancer promised by carnie barker Pitt is merely a frumpy hag. Sorry, no refunds at the carnie tents.]

Boy - they spend a lot of time tracking us... that can't be bad!!

[True. Although you all failed miserably in the politics department you have been EXCELLENT inadvertent comedians.]

i actually think they are secretly in love with us.

[Sorry. I’ve seen some DUmmie pics in your gallery. Major turnoff.]

I went there because of that e-mail they sent you -- looking to...see if they had a thread about it. There is a ton of talk about us out there. I don't know if you've seen Three Amigos, but evidently we're their El Guapo.

[El Feo is closer to the truth.]

They laugh at anyone's misery. They seem to have nothing much to think about, but spend their time just cracking jokes showing no understanding of what we are trying to do. I suppose it is their forum for that purpose, but they seem to enjoy it so much it is just sick...

[Actually we do understand what you are trying to do…Look for the Vote Fraud Pot of Gold at the end of the rainbow…Which is why we laugh at you. But continue with your rant, DUmmie dlaliberte…]

If any of them are reading this, here is a clue about what motivates us. Yes, we feel pain over the apparent loss in this election, and yes we believe it could be different, and we strive to make a difference against all odds. But our pain is not just for ourselves, but for the world. We pity the poor, not to give them a handout, but to lend a helping hand. We don't pity the rich, who despise anyone who would deny them their tax break handouts….]

[DUmmie dlaliberte is definitely in contention for the Drama Queen of the Week Award. Please continue…]

You don't have to look far to see election fraud, but you have to look. We have seen enough statistical evidence of fraud to potentially overturn the election, but we do not have the legal control over the hard evidence to make the case indisputable. We have seen those who control the election process abuse it and cover up their abuse. And we see, but don't want to see, the prospect of being totally out of control politically, and this drives us to feeling out of control emotionally, sometimes….

[Key phrase: “And we see, but don't want to see, the prospect of being totally out of control politically, and this drives us to feeling out of control emotionally, sometimes….” And that pretty much sums up this whole “Vote Fraud” shtick. It is all about being out of political control. As for actual “vote fraud” it is strange that the DUmmies never actually show any specific examples of it except to claim that the Republicans MUST have committed it. Anway, put the finishing touch upon your rant, DUmmie dlaliberte…]

We see the truth that the election was a fraud, but you do not. You are witnessing not our psychosis, but our many ways of dealing with your psychosis.

[Today the DUmmies are holding a vigil in front of Kerry’s Boston townhouse to convince him to “deconcede.” And WE have the psychosis?]

What a smarmy bunch they have nothing better to do? Of course not, THEY don't have TONS of shit to plow through like we have...because we aren't busy RAPING the world, PLUNDERING the taxpayers' wealth to ENRICH our sorry selves and RUINING the environment like they are. Easy to be RICH when you DON'T HAVE A CONSCIENCE and DON'T MIND RIPPING EVERYONE ELSE OFF. LET'S GET THESE LYING, SADISTIC CORPORATE PIGS OUT OF OUR GOVERNMENT!

[I would respond to your rant but I am too busy pouring arsenic into the ground, polluting our drinking water, and generally RAPING the world.]

Monday, December 27, 2004

DUmmie FUnnies 12-27-04 PM Edition (DUmmie Flames His Underpants)

A little change of pace away from the political scene with this edition of the DUmmie FUnnies. For you Freepers who want to know how to get your Dummie post count up while in DUmmieland without being exposed, simply go to the DU Lounge or General Discussion sections and you will find many non-political discussions in which you can get your count up. Sometimes the discussions, such as about movies, can be interesting and sometimes as in this case, it can be hilarious. In this discussion, Freeper LostInAnomie rails against certain kinds of underwear in this DUmmie THREAD titled, “Whoever invented boxers with buttons in the front is a GOD DAMNED IDIOT!” I don’t have too much problems with buttons but I sure do sympathize with general problems with boxer trunk underpants. I remember that all boxer trunk underpants made in Bangladesh were always at least two sizes too small. The only thing I could figure out is that a large person in Bangladesh would be the same as a person with a small waist here because they don’t have food in Bangladesh. The other day I bought boxer trunk underpants made in China. Okay, they fit fine around the waist but the bottoms were very tight around the leg calves. So tight that the other day at the library it felt like they were cutting off my blood supply. I didn’t want there to be an obituary for me in the newspaper saying that I was killed by my own underpants so I went into the bathroom and cut slits into the sides of the boxer underpants. Okay, that might seem extreme but it was definitely preferable to dying. Another time I was driving on the highway and felt somewhat uncomfortable below the waist. I checked and found out I accidentally put my underpants on backwards. Suddenly I had a panic attack about being in an accident and the paramedics discovering me with that pair of underpants on backwards. What kind of excuse could possibly explain that away. One final note, I don’t know how any guy could possibly wear briefs. They have NO breathing room. But enough of my underwear problems, let us join the DUmmie discussion on this subject. The DUmmie underwear observations are in Bolshevik Red and the commentary of your humble correspondent, wearing only a T-Shirt and a pair of buttonless boxer trunk underpants is in the [brackets]:

Whoever invented boxers with buttons in the front is a GOD DAMNED IDIOT!

My girlfriend bought me a package of boxers for an Xmas gift hoping that it would be something that i would be able to get some use from. Since laundry day is quickly approaching I threw them on today without noticing that they are button fronts, and I AM HATING IT!

Who the hell thought these things would be a good idea? Why would I want to make it harder to go take a piss? JEEZUS, when I've got to take a leak I have to spend an extra 5-10 seconds fumbling around before I can get it out to go. If I leave the button open my dong goes flopping out the front and I feel like some kind of pervert walking around work knowing that only a zipper is between my package and the world.


[I sympathize with Dummie LostInAnomie in his boxer underpants problem but I prefer buttons to NO slits at all. I recently saw a flea market vendor selling such underwear for just a buck each. I was tempted to buy some but the impracticality of NO slits kept me from doing so. What was I going to do? Pull down my pants and underpants both whenever I had to relieve myself. I might be able to tolerate that in the privacy of my home, but to do that at a public urinal might give the otherly gendered types frightening ideas about me. So I would rather tolerate buttons than no slits on boxer trunk underpants. As for the “dong” problem, just leave a couple of buttons fastened and you can cut your “fumbling around time by a least a couple of seconds.]

i wear nothing, but tighty whitey's

[No breathing space. I hate those “tighty whitey’s.” I’ve worn boxer trunk underpants for years before they were considered kewl just for the sake of comfort.]

i wear boxers -- if it flops out -- it flopout.

[Seeing as how there is a Rainbow flag icon next to DUmmie xchrom’s name leads me to believe that he is a bit too anxious to have a “flopout.”]

Forgive my ignorance. But why don't you have the flopping out problem with regular boxers? Don't they just have a flap/slit? Is there some sort of trick I haven't noticed.

[I was wondering the same thing myself. Thank you for verbalizing my thoughts.]

Because... when unbuttoned the hole in the front is of ridiculous proportions. On boxers without buttons the hole it just right.

[Thank you for clearing that up. Actually I do have a few sets of boxers with just one button on the slit. They are rather superfluous since when they are unbuttoned, the slit is still just right. So I just leave them unbuttoned in case of emergencies. You just never know when too much iced tea (as happened to Algore) suddenly catches up with you….or you suddenly meet up with Petra Verkaik.]

DUmmie FUnnies 12-27-04 AM Edition ("The Sadness")

The DUmmies have been on a real roller coaster of emotion. This past weekend we saw the DUmmies in full manic mode with 2 threads devoted to Kerry “deconceding” the election. The DUmmies were jubilant over this news, coupled with Pied Piper Pitt’s promise that there would be an earth shattering (later downgraded by the same Pitt) legal filing by Kerry today in Ohio. Yes, the DUmmies over the weekend were celebrating the impending overthrow of the Bush regime and the inauguration of their Face on the Democrat Grilled Cheese Sandwich this January. But, as inevitably happens with manic-depressives, the depressed mode always follows on the heels of the manic state of mind. Today’s DUmmie THREAD titled, “The Sadness,” reflects the current depression of the DUmmies. But fear not. The DUmmies will soon be celebrating the “inevitable” victory of Bush the next time Pied Piper Pitt “interprets” one of Kerry’s many subtle smoke signals. The sad, very sad, DUmmie posts are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary your humble correspondent, holding a tray of Meds for them, is in the [brackets]:

I've been thinking about the feelings that have passed through me since November 2nd. I've wondered at my intense sense of sadness - in addition to the anger and sheer shock and wonder - I have this intense sadness. Today a visual entered my brain - of these men and maybe a few women - sitting in a room - sitting in comfy chairs - sitting there planning these crimes. Hashing out the details. This crime and many others of course - crimes that took lives - crimes that broke hearts and souls and bodies - speaking the words out loud - forming the words - the sounds of them in the air.
I find it almost impossible to absorb. It is so sad - so tragically sad. We have so much work to do. I hope I can find a place to make a difference.

[Why are you sad? Isn’t today the day that Pied Piper Pitt promised you that Kerry would file a legal document in Ohio that would ENSURE his impending inauguration? Don’t worry. Be HAPPY!!!]

I have felt the sadness as well and a cold numb feeling as I realized how much hate and intolerance there is in this country, disguised by a veneer of religiousity

[I wish to console you. Let us both pray together to the Face on the Democrat Grilled Cheese Sandwich.]

Don't forget the ignorance, so carefully tended by the corporate media. It's the main reason we find it so difficult to fight these repuke bastids. Our only hope is to talk to people and spread the message that everyone should trust their OWN experiences and common sense, not the spin that comes pouring out of the idiot tube.

[And don’t forget to place your TRUST in Pied Piper Pitt. Follow his lead over the cliff. Remember, Pitt promised you INCREDIBLE NEWS about Kerry today. Of course, he also promised you INCREDBLE news that would take place last Thursday but the dog ate his homework…uh, the Ohio weather prevented the INCREDIBLE NEWS from happening.]

My mood has gone from absolute despair to "we're going to get the bastards." Now I'm mostly mad as opposed to depressed.

[Remember the Suicide Hotline number when your mood goes back to absolute despair at noontime on Jan. 20: 1-800-BUSH-WON.]

Through all the sadness and emotional turmoil of the past few weeks my subconscious is still full of hope and the dream messages I've been getting are stronger than ever...I really don't believe * will be inaugurated again.

[Trust your Inner Dream Message.]

There is always hope as long as there exists a beautiful group of people, like those here at DU, to go to when our hearts are heavy. I get great strength when I think about all those who have gone before us in great battles! I feel that there will be great changes coming, and that good will prevail. And, the person that John Kerry is also gives me great comfort.

[Trust your Inner Face on the Democrat Grilled Cheese Sandwich.]

I remember "hope was on the way.” Now we have a been cheated once again out of a president. The world is in such chaos and Bush should be impeached for putting us in this war we have no business starting. I just don't get it, where is the outrage? People should be in the streets screaming! Yet the MSM is silent and
most people are just paying attention as far as their fences surrounding their yards. It saddens and sickens me. Yet, I am so thankful for the DU and all who participate.

[Don’t forget to thank the DUFU.]

I feel hopeless, powerless, and leaderless.

[Definitely hopeless.]

I have felt a great deal of sadness,too...along with many other emotions! I know it's hard to wrap your mind around something so sick and twisted!!!! They have also tried (may I say unsuccessfully) to break our spirit! Our efforts will not be in vain! GOOD WILL PREVAIL! I sincerely believe in our is a moral and just cause. You can be sure that you have ALREADY made a difference by not being INDIFFERENT!

[You already have made a difference by providing LOTS of great comedy material for the DUmmie FUnnies. Oh, and don’t forget to return to your jubilant mood tomorrow for the next edition of the DUFUs.]

I feel kind of in suspended animation, like the election was some kind of horrible nightmare and that soon we'll all wake up and find out that it didn't really happen that way at all. It's just so-o-o-o depressing, and I find myself coming here more and more just to be uplifted. But I also like to think that if our efforts are successful and the election is overturned, or if Bush & Co. are forced out of office for all their crimes, what a wonderful example of democracy it would be for the rest of the world to witness and what a ray of light it would shine on this dark planet with all its problems. So I kind of alternate between these moods of intense despair and blinding hope ... probably pretty much like everybody else here. It's so good not to feel alone in this craziness.

[True. You have many fellow Moonbats fluttering around blindly in the darkness of DUmmieland.]

I know just what you mean - I stayed up all night Election night - I was in such shock - I refused to believe it. No one I know, blue as they are, would believe that the election was stolen.
I felt like I was in some psychedelic bubble.

[It sounds like you were partying with Susan Estrich on Election Night.]

I haven't been in an ACTUAL psychedelic bubble for many years now (too many?), but it might make things a little easier than this damn reality.

[For all you do, this acid is for YOU!!!]

Ever since November 2, I have found myself at time wondering of what could have been, seeing Kerry/Edwards inagurated on a bright, sunny January morning sworn-in, and enjoying the parade and inaguaral balls, walking through the Rose Garden or sitting in the Oval Office. I was hoping to hear on Election Night before Kerry made his acceptance speech "Beautiful Day" or "No Surrender" but instead it was a concession speech with a funeral atmosphere.

[DAMN that Bush for forcing MTV to cancel their Inaugural Ball!!! Another horrible side effect of the Bush victory.]

I know alot of folk who have never been prone to depression or "the blues", but find themselves today having trouble wanting to get out of bed. I think thats why so many jump for joy at the slightest hint of good news on this forum. For me I bounce between sadness and rage.

[You bounce between sadness and rage? Well, at least that is more realistic than those other DUmmies who are bouncing between sadness and happiness.]

I have severe, treatment-resistant Depression.
This election and all the questions surrounding our nation have left me bereft. I feel like someone took a two-by-four to my head. I'm left sitting here going, "What the hell? What the hell?"

[The two-by-four of the Bush election victory appears to have hit you hard.]

DON'T DESPAIR, help is coming. I CANNOT SHARE DETAILS, but something big, VERY BIG is in the works. stay tuned. There will be some very credible data soon. I will have the car mileage to prove i

[Driving around in circles again? But don’t despair. Pied Piper Pitt has promised us that <>SOMETHING WONDERFUL < /Voice> would happened today.

As a first time voter I didn't expect losing this election would be so hard, I cried for two days. The sadness came because I knew deep down this election was stolen. The sadness was overwhelming when I seen the video of the disenfranchised in Ohio.

[That video is now out as a DVD. I saw it being sold at the flea market yesterday: “Faces of the Disenfranchised in Ohio.” The vendor was selling them for $8 each, 2 for $15. They were in the box next to his XXX DVDs.]

I find it fascinating how we are this relatively small group who absolutely KNEW what had occurred election night - in such an organic way. I couldn't explain it to anyone - I just knew. I had no facts or figures - nothing to offer in the way of proof or even suggestion. I just knew. It reminds me of the film, Close Encounters of the Third Kind. A small group of people just spontaneously know they are to go to this one location at a given time and have no idea why. This feels like that to me.

[Interesting. Have you made a giant mashed potatoes sculpture of Kerry’s face yet?]

I also could not accept the election "results". It was horrible. In the early evening the TV network I was watching (CNN?) said that Virginia was too close to call, and I was shaking in anticipation. When they called VA for Bush by 57%-43%, I was shocked. After all that drama, it wasn't even close. Or so they said. I got really angry at the MSM. Maybe you did too. It was like they were toying with my soul, throwing me a bone that was only a mirage. From that point on, I felt like I was trying to stop the tide from going in, especially when they called Florida for Bush.

[So how many Election Day gloats did you post in DUmmieland before the REAL results came in?

Sometimes I even want to tell people about...the renowned Indian astrologers who predicted a Kerry victory, and about the so-called clairevoyant person -- the name escapes me, but someone posted an article in this forum about her or him -- who expects the election fraud issue to basically explode in around six months, in the middle of 2005.

[Indian astrologers and a so-called clairvoyant person…I’m very impressed by the reliability of those sources.]

I am imagining 100s of thousands of peeps dressed in black with orange armbands and/or headbands to symbolize working for the best (orange), while being prepared for the worst (black), in front of the Capital Building on Jan. 6th. gives me a warm feeling.

[Black and orange? Halloween colors. Trick or Treat!… Mostly Trick.]

All of us are not crazy...but sudden transformations can feel that way. Eyes open with the clarity of a full moon rising over an icy field. Dense snow has fallen all day, obscuring and distorting everything that was familiar. But now a fierce high wind is sweeping away the clouds and the stars are lighting up, one by's beautiful, it's scary, this clarity.

[Umm…Speaking of a Full Moon and reading your Full post, I would have to disagree with the first part of your statement. It’s beautiful, it’s scary, this insanity. But most of all it’s FUnnie!!!]

Sunday, December 26, 2004

DUmmie FUnnies 12-26-04 ("KERRY PREPARING GROUNDS TO UNCONCEDE--Thread 2")

The only thing funnier than a Dummie thread titled “KERRY PREPARING GROUNDS TO UNCONCEDE" is TWO threads titled “KERRY PREPARING GROUNDS TO UNCONCEDE.” Yes, the DUmmies unaware of the utter ridiculousness of this proposition have started a second THREAD titled, “KERRY PREPARING GROUNDS TO UNCONCEDE (Thread 2).” All this nonsense began the middle of last week when Pied Piper Pitt attempted to once again lead his DUmmie Lemmings over the Vote Fraud Cliff with a much revised post about how Kerry was about to file something REALLY IMPORTANT in court. I say, much revised because when NOTHING happened on Thursday, as predicted by Pitt, he came up with the excuse that his dog ate the filing…oops…I mean that the weather prevented action from being taken. Then after that Pitt started backtracking even more by claiming that the REALLY IMPORTANT thing that was going to happen isn’t all that important after all. I notice that Moonbat Pitt is making a habit of promising momentous events that never end up coming to pass. Pitt reminds me of Astronaut Dave Bowman in the “2010” movie who, in response to Heywood Floyd asking what would happen that they must leave Jupiter (home of A Perfect Rovian Storm) in seven days, replies non-specifically with a beatific expression on his face, “Something Wonderful!” Anyway, let us now return to fun of Dummie Fantasy. The Dummie fantasies are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, orbiting Jupiter in Discovery is in the [brackets]:

My question to you is what price are all of us willing to pay to restore this republic? Hell I will ask another one, what if the country breaks over this? AKA the south secedes?

[The South secedes if Kerry unconcedes? Indeed. Proceed…]

That said... IF this news is correct, I will sing Oh Tannenbaun... and remember December 25th as a historic day. Oh and if this happens, things will indeed get very interesting.

[“IF.” IF butterflies could tapdance will you sing “Oh Tannenbaum?”

Major wake-up calls are coming, one way or another.

[WAKE UP! Time to take your Meds.]

Sometimes I think a civil war is the only choice we have to regain our once great nation. It would be too easy to kick these Fundies and Freeptards butts. Seriously. I do believe we (Dems, Repuketards against Bush, and Independents) outnumber them. I want my country back. I am a Christian, but that wouldn't keep me from helping to defend our Constitution (and my God's reputation from lying Smirking Chimp for that matter) and going to war with others in this nation if it is the only way to get rid of the cancer that is trying to overtake this country.

[Hmmm… You claim to be a Christian and the first thing you want to do is KILL people. Interesting.]

Doubtless, Bush would be called upon to say something publicly, or in other words, concede the election to Kerry.

[KERRY: “I unconcede.”

BUSH: “Okay, you convinced me. I concede.”

i think it is way too 'premature' to say he is 'preparing grounds to unconcede'. we really don't know what he is doing. he is doing something, that is for sure.

[Kerry is tossing a bone to the DUmmie types in the form of a meaningless signature on an even more meaningless piece of paper.]

He never stopped fighting. Don't mistake silence for inactivity. Kerry's a warrior, and the smartest warriors know how to wait. I've maintained, since November 3, 2004, that all of this would unfold just as it's now unfolding. All this stuff takes time; the foundation needed to be laid, and for that, we have the Green and Libertarian people to thank. As for how Kerry's comported himself since the concession speech (which, I remind everyone again, had absolutely NO legal implication), it's been brilliant. Just goddamned brilliant. Respectful of F*ckface's "win." Respectful of the office of the Presidency. Respectful of the voters. All the while, people have been compiling evidence, and now, with the affidavit from the election worker, and other verifying documents and tapes, the time is ripe, as we lawyers like to say. John Kerry is our next President. I have never not believed that. And, in the next few weeks, I honestly believe we're going to see history made.

[PRAY to the Kerry Face on the Democrat Grilled Cheese Sandwich! He is our True Salvation!]

I have never doubted that John Kerry has been working this issue from day one. He is a smart man and he knows *. Members of his team have been personally screwed by the * fraud machine, so I strongly believe that he knew what they were going to try to pull.

[Members of his team have also been screwed by Kerry stiffing his own campaign staff.]

God how I hope you are right OldLeftie. It feels good just reading your posts lay out why and how it might be possible.

[That’s right, OldLeftie. Your fantasy posts have such a great feel good quality about them. Now tell us again how the Leprechaun at the end of the rainbow will bring us a pot of gold and make us all rich.]

Kerry is and always has been ready and willing to fight the good fight, but he is also very careful to make sure he has all his ducks in a row before he jumps into the fray.

[Kerry might have his ducks in a row but his goose is certainly cooked if he even mentions the word, “unconcede.”]

Lets play a game of what if. What if Blackwell rigged the election all on his own? If I understand this correctly, this is a violation of the 1965 law... and it is fraud. IT goes into the territory of who woudl get hurt?

[What if your lobotomy operation is postponed?]

It's not even going to get to Congress if the vote fraud allegations can be established in Ohio. It's going to freeze up the whole Electoral College, and that will keep the election from being over. If the election isn't over, and Ohio's votes are subject to judicial scrutiny, there can be no inauguration.

[And the Planet Earth will come to a dead stop in its orbit.]

This is going absolutely nowhere. I can promise all of you that this will go absolutely nowhere. The Baby Bush will be re-coronated on January 20th.

[And John Kerry will remain in exile on his Island Kingdom of Nantucket.]

If Kerry files that motion in Federal Court, this matter takes on a life of itself, and no external crisis, manufactured or not, will stop the law from going forth

[I predict the only thing Kerry will be filing this week will be his nails.]

I'd like to remind you are going "all in" on these reports. If this doesn't pan out, you're going to look pretty foolish, so to speak and that your reputation at this forum may be permenantly damaged. I just wanted to remind you of that.

[Don’t worry. After turns into a laughingstock this week when Kerry does NOT deconcede, he will come back a week later with a prediction that Kerry will “redeconcede.”]

either that or he's trying to us all get excited so he can try to make us look like fools later IF it doesn't all pan out.

[The plan is working ahead of schedule. You ALREADY look like fools.]

Kerry's done everything perfectly. I mean, I cannot tell you how f*cking perfect this whole thing has been, from a legal angle. It's a work of art

[Kerry planned it all from the get-go. Losing in Ohio by over 100,000 votes, making sure that Ohio certified Bush as the victor, and waiting until AFTER the Electoral College declared that Bush won the election. The timing has been PERFECT!]

Didn't the Electoral Collage already meet and cast their votes? Like on December 13, 2004? And since the Electoral Collage elects the President and not the popular vote, nothing anyone can do to stop the process now.

[Be very careful how big a dose of reality you feed to the DUmmies. Most of them have a low tolerance level for reality.]

I think Kerry will be able to show to the country that without a doubt fraud occurred and that Bush did not win the election. He knows it has to be irrefutable or a sizable number of Americans will not believe and he also will have to deal with a negative media. To have a legitimate presidency, there can be no doubts and he knows this. No winning through a technicality like Bush did in 2000, because the media will kill him on it.
If he is making a stand, I believe he has the goods to back it up.

[I believe you’ve been staring at the Kerry Face on the Democrat Grilled Cheese Sandwich too long.]

Saturday, December 25, 2004


The DUmmies are in the process of slobbering down the Hogwash Soup, heavily irradiated by moonbeams, being served up by Moonbat Pitt. One of the DUmmies lifted his face up from the Hogwash Soup just long enough to get a breath of air and utter some nonsense about Kerry preparing to unconcede as you can see in this Dummie THREAD titled, “Kerry Preparing Grounds to Unconcede.” Now if Kerry tried to think of a better way to make himself even more of a laughingstock to the public, he couldn’t improve on this. Let’s see, according to this theory, Kerry will enter the Deconcession Chamber a couple of weeks after the Electoral College already announced the winner of the election (hint: it wasn’t John F. Kerry, although John L. Kerry did put up a valiant fight). One can only hope this were true for no other reason than to provide an enormous amount of joke material to comedians in nightclubs all over this land. Of note on this DUmmie thread is that the DUmmie FUnnies were mentioned and YOURS TRULY was quoted. In the meantime, listen carefully to the ever increasing rustling from the fluttering wings of the Moonbats circling Dummieland. The closer we come to the Inauguration, the greater the frequency of those fluttering wings. And now let us listen to the desperate sonar emissions from the DUmmie Moonbats. Their high pitch chirpings are in Bolshevik Red and the commentary of your humble correspondent, desperately trying to evade the falling Moonbat guano, is in the [brackets]:

If you haven't been following John Kerry closely, get ready to hear of surprising developments. The vote-defrauded, potential president-in-waiting has just indicated through his lawyer that the validity of George Bush's reelection is no longer a given

[HALLELUJAH!!! Great Joy and Jubilation! A Great Pillar of Fire shall ARISE in the sky as John Kerry prepares to depart his Island Kingdom of Nantucket to bring his Heavenly Realm to America and Rule for a thousand years!]

If you haven't been following John Kerry closely, get ready to hear of surprising developments. The vote-defrauded, potential president-in-waiting has just indicated through his lawyer that the validity of George Bush's reelection is no longer a given

[The reign of the Evil Emperor, Chimpus Kahn, is about to end! All hail our new President, John L. Kerry!]

Kerry's court filing will conjoin him to existing allegations that Triad Systems, a Republican-linked supplier of voting machines to around half of Ohio counties --"orchestrated" a covert campaign to thwart a legitimate recount in Ohio. If the allegation proves well founded, it could invalidate the Ohio recount and eventually even hand the presidency to John Kerry.

[YAWN! Been there. Done that. It took place during the Second (or was it the Third or maybe Fourth) Coming of John Kerry that was about to change the world forever. What happened is that Kerry allowed his signature which meant nothing to be affixed to a Green Party action which meant even less. After the teary eyed DUmmie expressions of faith, cynicism set in later the same day when the DUmmies realized that Kerry was just tossing them a bone so he could validate himself with them for the 2008 election.]

Got my fingers crossed. Maybe I won't have to leave the country!

[Don’t worry. The People’s Republic of North Korea will somehow manage to build the Worker’s Paradise without you.]

Is this real, if not BOOOOO!


I can't find ANYTHING about this in the MSM. I'm afraid we are getting our hopes up for nothing. There is nothing on any other website about this.

[And this DUmmie WINS a Kewpie Doll for the best Reality Check of the day!]

Most people will not hear of the Kerry legal move until Tuesday…

[…Or ever.]

Come out as our leader Kerry, and we'll be right behind you, my man, with our guns and ammo at hand!

[So much for Dummie support of gun control.]

Sounds like JK is going "all in"................

[Smart move. Going “all in” with a hand that has only a seven high card against a sure Royal Flush.]

Unconcede' is now my favorite word.

[I’m sort of partial to “Deconcession Chamber” myself.]

KERRY xmass and HAPPY NEW YEAR !!!! i got you back PRESIDENT KERRY!!!!!!! oh ya and f*ck you freepers . . . .

[A touching expression of “Kerry xmass” spirit.]

Has anyone had the courage to check on Freeptardville yet?

[Don’t worry. The Dummie FUnnies is giving rave reviews to your comedy act.]

Not about that article, but this is funny....
I made it on there twice, how nice! Morons...his arguments make absolutely no sense. They seem to be spending (suspiciously) much time on the latest Kerry posts...

[WOO! HOO! DUmmie femme.democratique, I shall overlook your gratuitous slam against MOI and ABSOLVE you of all your Political Sins (for today only) for posting a Link to a Dummie FUnnies edition plus giving a great review to the DUFUs (“…this is funny…”). Flattery will get you EVERYWHERE!!!]

check it out when you need a good laugh.... Merry Christmas…and Happy Holidays to all!

[WOW! ANOTHER good review of the DUFUs from DUmmie femme.democratique. Okay, I shall also absolve you of your Political Sins on New Years Day as well for giving me good PR in DUmmieland.

Hey - Freepers... Google Ramsey Clark... see what you get.

[“Leftwing Liberal Lunatic.”]

Oh, and mods here should check this out:

“You don't have to go anywhere to find them -- they're all over DU just now. And some of ‘them’ might even be DUmmie moderators. Hee! Hee!”

[This is an OUTRAGE!!! Yes, in my role as DUmmie Moderator I shall certainly try to uncover that Freeper imposter…. Hee! Hee!]

I'm no lawyer but after the Supreme Court ruled to stop the Florida count in December of 2000, I've developed a good sense for election law maneuvers. Kerry has been preparing to do this for a year! It's just that now, over the holiday weekend, we see some the evidence on which that strategy is based.

[What a genius that Kerry is! He waits until a couple of weeks AFTER the Electoral College declares Bush to be a winner and then maneuvers to make his deconcession announcement during the one holiday week when interest in politics is at the lowest point of the year. His timing is IMPECCABLE!!!]

Kerry is set to unconcede by deed on Monday…

[It’s an “unconcedeed!”]

I'm trying not to over-expect here, but firmly feel since he IS back in the game...since he IS 'playing'...he IS 'playing to win.'

[YOO! HOO! Charlie Brown! Time for you to kick the football Lucy is holding. Don’t worry. She won’t pull it away from you this time. You can believe her promise.]

If Kerry does this and follows through, I'll never ask for anything for Christmas hereafter.

[The Great Pumpkin WILL appear tonight!]

Can you imagine our history books and what they'd look like if they contested and we overturned this thing and took our democracy back???

[They would look like Grimm’s Fairy Tales.]

they will probably make a book out of the DU logs.

[ABSOLUTELY! And it will be called the “DUmmie FUnnies.”

So you don't think that it is merely an effort by Kerry to get involved enough to quell the criticism he is getting from people like Jackson (just playing the devil's advocate)

[Somewhere deep in the DUmmieland Swamp a small light bulb begins to cast a dim glow over the tiny head of a DUmmie.]

this thread is looking like DU on Nov 2 at 530pm until everything turned into shit a couple of hours later.
Will you people ever learn to celebrate and gloat ONLY when it's time?Don't get so jumpy about everything these bloggers throw at you, geez.

[Go ahead. Celebrate and gloat now. It only makes your later threads of angry disappointment even more hilarious.]

Your thoughts? Am I on to something or am I full of shit?

[The latter.]

Friday, December 24, 2004

DUmmie FUnnies 12-24-04 ("From the freepers regarding Will Pitt Post...")

Once again we have a situation of Watching DUmmies Watching Us Watching DUmmies. This time it has to do with them watching us watching their posts on a 12-22 thread about a “revelation” from lead DUmmie Moonbat, William Rivers Pitt, announcing that Kerry would jump into the vote fraud game the following day to challenge the Ohio vote. After much jubilation and wing fluttering from the lesser Moonbats over in DUmmieland, exactly NOTHING happened. Now that the DUmmies have egg all over their face they are whining about the Freepers laughing at them in this THREAD titled, “From the freepers regarding Will Pitt Post...” Since this thread from the Freepers that they are referencing commenced before my own DUFU thread on the same topic last evening, their comments are about the other Freeper thread. The whining of the DUmmies is in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, looking in on his DUmmie Ant Farm, is in the [brackets]:

It is so very hard for me not to get into the threads and start bashing! Fragile,,,, let them try this fragile DUmmy !!!!

[No problem. By featuring you in the DUmmie FUnnies we can easily shatter your fragile ego by laughing at your pretentious self-important foibles.]

I am curious to see what they are saying about K/E potentially jumping into the fray.

[I see that this DUmmie post was made on Thursday morning. Soooo Dummie… to tell us all about K/E “jumping into the fray.” The news media was so silent about this “momentous event” that I missed it entirely.]

I Love Seeing Their Eyes Widen when they realise the gigs up.

[Right now my eyes are squeezed shut to keep all the tears of laughter at your momentous non-event from staining my shirt.]

They are saying horrible things about WillPitt. He should wear it as a badge of honor. What a bunch of freaks they are.

[Yes, Will Pitt should wear his Moonbat label as a badge of honor. Pitt’s Moonbat post about a complete NON-EVENT sent DUmmieland into spasms of joy over something that NEVER HAPPENED.]

Not only are they annoying, but they sure know how to type stupid stuff as fast as their narrow minds can go.

[Typing stupid stuff like phony Shakespeare quotes about patriotism that was cited by numerous DUmmies as well as Barbra Streisand?]

. apparently the validity of WP's PREVIOUS statements have escaped them.

[Validity of Moonbat Pitt’s pitiful posts like the one he made on Wednesday about an event that was sure to happen on Thursday and by Friday STILL hasn’t happened?]

We need an emoticon with pink liquid for Kool Aid...don't you think?

[A better emoticon would be the Great Pumpkin of unrealized dreams laughing at you. Moonbat Pitt, your Linus, promised that the great Pumpkin would arrive yesterday for sure. How much longer before you realize your Great Pumpkin will never arrive?]

Doesn't surprise me. I would put the "Dummies" at DU up against those ignorant and very very sad people any day of the week. A war of the minds would much be welcome. They never post any facts. They never look into the credibility of anything they decide to negatively rant about.

[Like the credibility of the claim by Moonbat Pitt that the Great Pumpkin Kerry would come to your rescue in Ohio yesterday? Next you will be seeing images of Kerry’s face on Democrat Grilled Cheese Sandwiches.]

The GOP and its faithful minions have been stinking of fear since election day, and no place has had a fouler stench than Freeper Land. I hate to visit the Free Republic message board, because I feel sorry for them. They are like a bunch of little kids trying to convince themselves that they are not afraid of the boogeyman, but you know that they are so wound up, the minute someone goes "boo!" they are going to jump out of their skins.
This is no coincidence. The way that the far right motivates it rank and file is through fear, the same way Hitler and Goebels motivated their followers. They attract all the poor little former battered kids who were never loved for themselves and tell them "It is all (blanks) fault you are so miserable". Meanwhile, all us liberal types are having such a good time just being ourselves, it drives them crazy with rage and envy.

[The only thing I fear is the DUmmies ceasing to swallow the Moonbat theories promulgated by Pitt and his cohorts. If that were to happen, I would run low on comedy material for the DUmmie FUnnies.]

William Pitt is a very good source, just waiting to see what happens

[And waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting and…..]

What really pisses me off is how you get that "deer in the headlights" look when the rest of us are trying desperately to educate you.

[Yeah, educate us again about the impeccable timing of John Kerry, 10 days after the Electoral College vote, interceding in Ohio. When was that supposed to happen for sure? Oh, yesterday! Gee! I must have missed all the massive news accounts about that.]

Blissfully ignorant, I'd say since they don't realize that there are these pesky little things called ELECTION LAWS - and if the Repukes in Ohio broke those laws, then there ARE consequences!

[Consequences like us laughing at you looking for non-existent vote fraud to the tune of over 100,000 votes. Better pray to that Kerry face on the Democrat Grilled Cheese Sandwich. Maybe the face can conjure up a change in the Ohio outcome. As for the REAL Kerry, mostly likely he is snow boarding in Aspen right now not knowing what the hell Moonbat Pitt was talking about a couple of days ago.]

You don't have to go anywhere to find them -- they're all over DU just now

[And some of “them” might even be DUmmie moderators. Hee! Hee!]

Kerry Won - Get Over It!!

[BWAHAHAHAHAHA! And here is the Suicide Hotline number for you to call on Jan. 20: 1-800-BUSH-WON.]

I think we should write a book: "The Guide To The Conservative Mind" with all of the f*cked up shit they spew. Of course, woven together with rapier-sharp wit...and all the profits would go towards the Bush Impeachment Fund...

[If you want a book with TRUE rapier wit, then I would recommend the DUmmie FUnnies with the CD-ROM insert.]

You are living in a bad Twilight Zone episode.
Someday you will rue what you say about
William Pitt. He is your modern day Patrick Henry.

[As we’ve seen this week, Moonbat Pitt is more like a cross between the Pied Piper leading all you DUmmie lemmings over the cliff of reality and Linus, the believer in the Great Pumpkin of fictitious vote fraud.]

So let's put our foil hats on and ignore them. Shall we?

[Sure. Put on your tinfoil hats.]

won't we be surprised when they're right. It is all a hoax and we are full of crap.

[Your post was made at 8:50 PM last night on the day Kerry was supposed to electrify the vote fraud movement and you still haven’t figured out you were full of crap?]

Freepers very worried about vote-rigging

[True. We are very very worried you DUmmies will give up on your vote rigging fantasies. It would dry up a HUGE source for laughter…. Thus ends this Dummie thread where the topic of Kerry coming to their rescue in Ohio FOR SURE is delicately avoided since the only thing that happened was a sighting of a Kerry Face on a Democrat Grilled Cheese Sandwich in Dayton.]