Wednesday, November 03, 2010

The Mourning After: Pied Piper Pitt assesses the damage

Tsunami Tuesday WIPED OUT Democrats across the land! It was HISTORIC! Gains not seen in MANY DECADES in state legislatures, governorships, in the House, and, yes, even in the Senate! The only two "flips" in Congress, Republican to Democrat, that I'm aware of are two predictable House races (Cao in LA and Castle's seat in DE). No R-to-D flips in the Senate; on the contrary, big gains. Truly, it was a BLOWOUT! But, hey, the Democrats managed to hold on to Sen. Harry Reid (D-SEIU) as their their public face in Cong . . . BWAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

There is no joy in DUmmieville this morning. Grayson, Feingold, so many of their heroes are GONE! The circular firing squad is assembling. Shoot the Blue Dogs, blame the stupid American public, the Democrats were not liberal enough, blame the big money, blame the corporations, blame the corporate media--you know the drill. PJ and I will be documenting the trauma over the next few days, as we descend to the depths of the Democratic Underground, AKA the Whine Cellar, where there is weeping and gnashing of Tea.

One perspective we want to check in on is that of Pied Piper Pitt, loyal party hack and wannabe pundit. You will recall that on August 15, Prognosticator Pitt came up with this bank-it
DEMOCRAT-VICTORY PREDICTION: "We will keep the House. We will keep the Senate. Obama will be re-elected in 2012. Bookmark this thread. You can shove it up my ass if I'm wrong. I'm not wrong."]

So what is Will the Shill's take on all of this? Will he own up to his failed prediction and prepare to take one up the loss column? Let's begin with this
THREAD from last night, "God pisses down your neck every day, but only drowns you once."

Pitt and the DUmmies are in Teary-Eyed Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, whose prediction of close to a 70-seat pickup in the House and a 7-seat pickup in the Senate will end up being a lot closer than Pitt's pittiful prediction, is in the [brackets]:

"God pisses down your neck every day, but only drowns you once."

[Thanx, Pissed Piper Pitt, for those words of wisdom! You truly are America's Grief Counselor®!]

But we will recover. We have to. There is no alternative. Stout hearts, friends.

[Inspiring, Will. By the way, pal, speaking of stout parts of one's anatomy, whatever happened to your "You can shove it up my ass" prediction?]

F*** That. . . . I'm sick of this sh*t.

[Will's attempt at inspiration has fallen short, it seems.]

This is Dismal......I now understand how Jim Jones, Applegate, Koresh, Bhagman got their people....

[The Kool-Aid stand is now OPEN! Time to evacuate our vehicles!]

even with the losses (Grayson, Feingold)...This is nothing like 2004. That was a gut-punch/groin kick combo. This is just a facepalm and a headache.

[Pitt will be feeling an ache elsewhere if someone remembers to take him up on his offer.]

Quite frankly, the only thing that really matters is Global Warming.

[Pitt may be feeling a strange warming in his globe. . . . Well, that was last night. But wait, THIS JUST IN! Our Boy Pitt has awoken from his stupor and has posted this morning! Let's see what he has to say in this brand-new
THREAD, "So the sun did come up after all."]

So the sun did come up after all.

[And it is causing Global Warming, d*mmit! God pisses down our neck, and now he does this with the sun!]

My perspective: in 2008, 44 House districts sent a Democrat to Congress while simultaneously voting for McCain. Yesterday, we lost those, plus a few more.

[Pitt starts with a pre-emptive CYA for his EPIC FAIL prediction.]

A few months ago, I thought we'd hold both chambers. I was wrong, for the reason stated above, and for a few others (the Democrats' inability to cobble together a coherent message being tall among them).

[A non-apology apology from Mr. Self-Recanted Evening himself!]

I should have known better, and now I do.

[But I wasn't really wrong, you see. . . .]

But the sun came up. So did I. So did you.

[So your prediction will come up, too.]

Back to work.

[Back to the same old back-pedaling Pitt! And speaking of old, Wunderkind Willie will be turning **39** years old this coming Tuesday, November 9! We'll have to throw a birthday bash for him! Happy times, Will! That thrill you feel up your nether regions is not benburch, it's another one of your Fitzmasesque prognostications coming back to visit!]

Tune: "Some Enchanted Evening"

Self-recanted evening,
When you see the flip-flops,
You may see where Pitt stops
Across the DUmmieland.
And somehow you know,
You know even then,
That sometime you'll see him
Recant once again.

Self-aggrandized weaving,
Bloviating windbag,
Going where the wind blows,
Not knowing where to stand.
He'll write to the left--
That's left to go right--
Will's so busy dancing,
He can't sleep at night.

Who can explain Pitt?
Who can tell you why?
Will gives two versions,
Neither one can fly.

Some fantastic FReeping!
Someone may be laughing,
You may hear the laughing
Among the DUFU fans.
And night after night,
When we go to bed,
That sound is our laughter--
Will Pitt's in our thread!

Once we have DUFUed
Will Pitt's swing and miss,
Then he'll discover
He can't recant this!


Blogger Lazarus Long said...

A little music for your edification:

11:42 AM  
Blogger Beefeater said...

Bend over while I glove up here Willy. Got some prediction shovin' to do.

*Nurse, can I get a clothespin for my nose here?*

11:49 AM  
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