Sunday, November 04, 2007

DUmmies ATTACK The DUmmie FUnnies!!!

Your humble correspondent has taken leave of his normal peaceful abode and is now reporting to you from the frontlines of the 2007 Weblog Awards FUnniest Blog battlefront. We are now under heavy attack due to a powerful assault upon the DUmmie FUnnies by the extreme leftwing Sadly No! We have been beating back their attack and our front lines have held although they have narrowed the gap down to a margin of a little over a hundred votes. General Li'l Beaver orders every loyal DUFU trooper to do his part by voting for the DUmmie FUnnies by clicking HERE. Following the lead of that far left blog, the DUmmies themselves have launched a small flank attack as you can see in this THREAD titled, "DU's being slammed in the weblog awards." Head DUmmie Skinner must still be heavily engaged in his beauty sleep or this thread would have long ago been tombstoned. The two most TABOO things you can do in DUmmieland is to either mention the DUmmie FUnnies or the CONSERVATIVE UNDERGROUND. And since this is an entire DUmmie thread dedicated to the DUmmie FUnnies, Skinner is going to sprain his finger when he wakes up and tosses this thread down the memory hole by hitting the delete button. So let us now look through the binoculars from the trenches at the frontlines to watch the DUmmies draw up their battle plans against the DUFUs in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble war correspondent, reminding all loyal troops under the command of General Li'l Beaver that they need to let loose with a steady field of fire by voting HERE for the DUmmie FUnnies as FUnniest Blog, is in the [brackets]:

DU's being slammed in the weblog awards.

[Sniff! Want a hankie?]

Check out the funniest blogs award here: polls/funniest-blog-1.php
Some asshole from FR who runs a kinds dumb site called DUmmy FUnnies is currently polling #1. How's about casting your vote for a blog that delivers some great satire/ridicule of the Right's biggest gasbags - Sadly, No!.

[And also delivers a lot of attacks on major religions (except Muslims).]

Sorta like killing 2 birds with one stone.

[A bird in a DUmmie hand is messier than two in the bush.]

Yes, the same wit that posted pictures of Andy in prison clothes while he was in hospital. A real American humorist.

[Unfortunately for your credibility, DUmmie sfexpat2000, all pics on the DUmmie FUnnies back in those days were of our sacred Leader, Li'l Beaver, who LATER gave us permission to post images of ordinary mortals.]

Done. There is some SERIOUS freeping going on there!

[DUFU Troopers and their loyal Freeper allies are holding strong on the front lines.]

Kick just to make sure that people see this.

[Not after Head DUmmie Skinner wakes up.]

Are these people legit? I don't recognize any of those blogs. Is this some freaker subculture award? Does anyone know?

[This from DUmmie sfexpat2000 who has trouble recognizing her own face in the mirror after a long night on heavy duty meds.]

How in the world did Little Green Footballs get nominated for best online community and DU isn't even on the list?

[Perhaps because Little Green Footballs is winning in a landslide over the KOmmies, Skinner feared being crushed like an insignificant bug.]

CNN refers to LGFB all the time.. Glenn Beck probably loves the site

[CNN! Glenn Beck! Yoo-Hoo! Look over here at the DUmmie FUnnies as well!]

There's something wrong with this site. It looks like a right wing put on to me, anyway

[Yeah, DUmmie sfexpat2000. We're just putting you on. We're really a leftwing blog.]

Wizbang is the, yes, there's a definite RW slant to it. I guess they get to choose the finalists, so they can skew the field. Thanks for tthe reminder about Andy upthread...all the more reason to vote against this prick.

[Thanx for that INCORRECT reminder about Andy upthread.]

I voted but wish I hadn't. Any outfit that would put this stalker up for public approval isn't anyone I want to do business with.

[DUmmie sfexpat2000 expressing her toleration of non-PC opinions.]

And why isn't DU on there for best Group Blog? We got one of the most vibrant posting communities on the net....the selection process is a joke.

[Since the KOmmies are currently being crushed by Little Green Footballs in that category, the DUmmies would be like a tiny bug with a steamroller going over them in that category. Are you really a glutton for that much punishment?]

Can somebody provide links to the threads about Andy's problems with PJ Comix?

[Here's a LINK to a thread about William Rivers Pitt's problems with Andy.]

I don't have them or I would. But he was disgusting, in the ring of the people who kept the stalking going. Maybe someone else has the links. Ben did. Others do. I still can't even think about this little prick and how much he hurt Andy.

[I just gave you a link above, DUmmie sfexpat2000.]

Or Vote for Jon Swift. Please consider voting for my modest blog Jon Swift as well for Funniest Blog in the Weblog Awards.

[Okay, Jon Swift, I'll consider it. I didn't say I would do it but I'll consider it.]

You write some great satire for the ages, Mr. Swift! I'll split my votes...that's the best I can do.

[A DUmmie with a "winning" battlefield strategy.]

Here's a link to the wit of PJ Comix.

[And WISDOM, DUmmie sfexpat2000. You forgot the wisdom part.]

And this is who the genius is behind an attack on a dying activist. Your mother must be so very proud, PJ!

[Then DUmmie Raven must be so very proud of her Sonny Boy, Pied Piper Pitt, if you read the link I provided you above, DUmmie sfexpat2000.]

"My main goal in life, besides spending a weekend in Vegas with Playboy Playmate Petra Verkaik without my wife knowing, is to get a multi-million dollar book contract for a DUmmie FUnnies book (with CD Rom insert) from Mary Matalin. Oh, I also produced an award-winning satirical comix website called PJ's Comix. Among the people we viciously satirized was James Carville but I hope that Mary overlooks that."

[Thanx for the promo from my NewsBusters bio, DUmmie sfexpat2000. Actually my main goal in life has changed slightly since that was written. My main goal now is to spend six months alone on a small lush tropical island with Mary Matalin doing nothing but pitching a DUmmie FUnnies book (with CD-ROM insert) to her. Nothing else, I promise. I must remain faithful to Petra Verkaik.]

His "humor" is so corny, my grandparents would be embarassed.

[My grandparents laughed their butts off at my impression of Ed Sullivan imitating Adlai Stevenson. Or was it Adlai Stevenson imitating Ed Sullivan?]

Well, there is a remarkable amount of stupid shit to pick from here it's not like we're making it difficult

[And this DUmmie WINS a Kewpie Doll for having a brief moment of mental clarity!]

The first red flag.

[Make that the first Bolshevik Red flag.]

I think you can vote again after 24 hours.

[Wrong. You can only vote again after 24 business hours.]

His profile reads: "I am a 30,000 year old reincarnated being from the 5th dimension. Once every 6000 years I materialize in your dimension in a Las Vegas hotel suite where I chant my holiest of mantras: "RAMA DAMA, I WANNA HOT MAMMA!!!""

[Hmmm... And I think my 6000 year time period comes due this Friday. I need either Steve Wynn or Laugh Factory Jamie to comp me a couple of plane tickets and a hotel room in a few days to facilitate that materialization. Oh, and LOTS of votes for the DUmmie FUnnies as FUnniest Blog.]


Anonymous William Teach said...

"And why isn't DU on there for best Group Blog?"

DUmmies don't understand what a blog is, and the DU ain't one. More like a cliff that leads to the sea.

"Well, there is a remarkable amount of stupid shit to pick from here it's not like we're making it difficult"

DUmmies told the truth for a change!

You have my vote, PJ.

9:15 AM  
Blogger Jon Swift said...

"A DUmmie with a "winning" battlefield strategy."

Oh, this is a battle? Silly me, I thought this was supposed to be fun.

And I think you inadvertantly left out the link to my modest blog, Jon swift, so here it is.

9:49 AM  
Blogger PJ-Comix said...

Yeah, Jon Swift, and I am absolutely serious 100% of the time without my tongue ever being firmly implanted in my cheek. Oh, and I am about to materialize in your dimension in a Las Vegas hotel suite. And I am absolutely SERIOUS about that. Would I kid you?

10:02 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


I guess a "Liberal with a sense of humor", is an oxymoron.

This is all about politics and personal opinion! Not real life!

Lighten up!

And if you don't want to help generate a humor site, stop saying and doing such hilarious things!

11:14 AM  
Anonymous ray said...

PJ, you're still on top! Good luck and keep up the great work exposing the DUmmies for the fools that they are.

11:49 AM  
Blogger Famous Quotations said...


You really seem to have upset them. Is that acceptable behavior?

Next they will be comparing you to evil Talk Radio.

1:15 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

PJ, do you publish any comments that aren't in line with what you want to hear?

You are embarrassing yourself with your incessant campaigning. And when you lose to sadly no, it will look even more pathetic.

If your blog was funny, people wouldn't mind as much. But it's, well, not funny.

Let it go, man.

1:34 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I voted a little bit ago, and I'll vote again tomorrow. Last time I checked, you had a slight lead over Sadly No. Really hope you beat that crappy site in the end, I've always loved DUmmy Funnies.

1:54 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You are now the laughing stock of the Web. See this thread at DU:

1:57 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dude, you are making a fool of yourself. Everyone knows you are spending every second of every day begging for votes. Even if you win it won't mean anything other than you have no life. Pathetic!

2:51 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

How old are you? Real Men don't beg for votes 24 hours a day.

2:53 PM  
Blogger Moon Rattled said...

Your blog isn't funny. Correction: it might be funny to a pre-pubescent male living in a trailer park.

Soliciting votes from strangers is a sign of desperation and proof that you don't have enough real support.

3:11 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Awww, the poor little DUmmies are all a dither.
No weeping yet, but, I'm sure that's to come.


4:20 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sunday, 4.p.m. @ the front.

Looks like Li'l Beaver is getting licked...

5:09 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Now that you are losing you are saying someone is cheating. Crying over at FR! Get a grip dude! You sound like you are in third grade. No one but you cares about these awards. Get a hold of yourself man!

5:13 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This blog is way funnier than cancer.

5:17 PM  
Blogger Mo K said...

See, that's the thing. The looney left don't realize how funny they are. Heres a clue: You guys at the D.U. write the material. PJ just responds. And he responds in a way that conservatives find particularly funny. Obviously you don't find it FUnnie because you take yourselves seriously, and you believe in socialism and communism. So there will always be this Great Divide until (one can hope) you become capable of critical thinking. You have to be a logical person to begin with, however; one who can see that the "Road to hell is paved with Good Intentions" and the like, which Sadly, No! some of you never will.

You know, whether PJ wins this award or not, any site (and readers) who insult a good and decent man like Thomas Sowell, isn't worth the bandwidth it's sucking.

To all you whiners out there: ALL of the nominated blogs are promoting themselves, you idiots. It's how they get votes. Don't tell me YOU aren't promoting the sites you want to win, hmm? Get off yer damn high-horse, you disingenuous twits.

5:46 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I would say this blog is probably funnier than a heart attack...although maybe less funny than waking up in cat vomit.

5:51 PM  
Anonymous Jason said...

Damn PJ,

Looks like you really hit a nerve over there in DUmmie Land.

Keep up the great work, and everyone else keep voting!


5:59 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


Hey, PJ: forget the silly contest.

You've already won. This DU thread, and the influx of humorless trolls who can't come close to grasping how funny they all are ... that's all much, much better than winning the award.

This is wonderful. The irony of the DUmmies serving as entertainment, and then getting upset about it and rushing here to serve as even *more* entertainment ... all before returning to their murky fever-swamp to continue waiting 24 business hours for Rove's indictment ...

Just awesome. Awesome. On more than one occasion, I've told you that you'd just offered the best DuFu edition yet.

But this is the one. You'll never, ever top this one.

Best of all .... after this, you'll likely get a stream of the grim, unhappy souls from DU, marching here to serve as even more self-parody.

You've hit the big times, kid. This tops any award.

Tomorrow's edition should just be your comments thread. You don't even need to narrate. It's already priceless humor.


6:04 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sunday, 7:30 p.m. @ the front.

Li'l Beavers' flank support seems to be collapsing. Urgent call issued to the Kegel Brigade for reinforcement.

7:32 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"You are now the laughing stock of the Web. See this thread at DU:"


A blog that just copies posts from DU and comments on them is nominated for funniest blog.

And you think it's the blog that's the laughing stock?


That's cute.

I realize you DU rats take yourselves oh-so-seriously. But rest assured, your funny. Truly funny. The more serious you act, the funnier it gets.

You are the laughingstock. Obviously. And this post just makes you funnier.

That you don't even get the joke is the funniest bit of all.

7:33 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's really too bad you can't get more tinfoil hat-wearing moonbat trolls. They'd make a wonderful addition to the DuFu's.

Some of the comments in this thread are as funny as the silliness at DU. And have you ever gotten this many comments?

God bless the DUmmies. They're too dumb to even figure it out, aren't they?

8:05 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh, this is the Hate Group site and the guy who attacked a dying man. Hope you are proud of yourself.

PJ comix made Andy Stephenson’s last days on earth hell …
Cancerous Campaign

Voter activist Andy Stephenson fights charges he faked his illness—from his hospital bed.

The Internet saved Andy Stephenson’s life. In May 2005, the voting-rights advocate’s online community came together and raised $50,000 in 11 days to pay for surgery to treat Stephenson’s pancreatic cancer. Now, the World Wide Web has spawned a bizarre campaign that accuses the nationally renowned activist of faking his illness.

But one day later Andy died, despite his surgery.

Here’s the DU fundraiser for Andy’s surgery campaign:

A post about the DUFU blog that now may be awarded Funniest Blog:

8:26 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm sorry....This is supposed to be a funny blog?


Where's the hook?

9:17 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Uh, behind the scenes, there are plenty of conservatives scratching their heads, thinking, "How did this mess become the self-appointed standard bearer of conservative humor?" In what galaxy is anything here funny, except to the Knock, Knock joke brigade?

9:22 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Jesus Christ, this blog sucks.

9:48 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


10:07 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

There's just one thing missing from this blog... humor. Wasn't I led to believe it was funny? Sad.

10:32 PM  
Blogger Dave said...

Bwaaahahahahahahaha!! The DUmmies are DUmbfounded. They can't understand why sane people find them funny. These DUnces should be nominated for humor blog next year.

I haven't seen anything as funny as Dummies in general since the time the hogs ate grandma.

Of course, their motto should be "That's NOT funny," spoken about just about everything DUmmies don't get when they commit self-mockery and beclowning.

Maybe they should change their name to DopeyUnderground.

Way to go, PJ. You're under attack by DUmmies armed with StupidRays.

11:19 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sunday, 11:20 p.m. @ the front...

It looks like Li'l Beavers' dogma is getting run over by his karma.

11:19 PM  
Anonymous Cap'n Rufus said...

Don't let the moonbats get you down. You are funny. I get it! Like, you got a General Li'l Beaver mascot 'cuz you're generally a little cunt. That shit's funny!

11:22 PM  
Blogger The Gunslinger said...

God, the M'bats are clueless, humorless sad-sacks, aren't they? I'm particularly entertained by their rap on PJ for "campaigning" for votes.

Every time he does it, it's funny. Funny because it's so blatant.

I suppose it takes a modicum of subtlety to pick up on the self-deprecating, self-mocking tone of his self-promoting.

No wonder they don't get it. (That and the fact that there's no eye-poking involved.)

11:44 PM  
Blogger Moon Rattled said...

before you vote for the dummy, you might want to read this thread.

I dare you to keep this comment posted and to post the thread link on your blog for people to read, PJ.

I'm hoping the weblog awards people have some morals and see fit to dump you from the competition.

12:04 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

No, he is just a geek. Everyone knows you two rub shoes when he is in the next stall. Naughty, naughty boys!

12:06 AM  
Anonymous Tom Tankreedo said...

You're a despicable piece of shit, Pee Jay. Even for a Republican, that is.

12:08 AM  
Blogger Moon Rattled said...

before you vote for the dummy, you might want to read this thread.

I dare you to keep this comment posted and to post the thread link on your blog for people to read, PJ.

I'm hoping the weblog awards people have some morals and see fit to dump you from the competition.

12:09 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is probably the funniest DummieFunnies ever.

Courtesy of the Dummies themselves, making a guest appearance.

It's a "hate site" now, of course! Next you'll be a racist. Or maybe a global warming denier? Definitely one of those.

It's the classic liberal anti-freedom approach. They don't support actual free speech. Just that they agree with.

The funniest part of all, of course, is that they're almost weeping and gnashing at this, when all this blog ever does is hold a mirror up to their own words.

Everything here is written by DUmmies. PJ's comments aren't the funny parts, kids. It's you.

And this stuff takes the cake.

12:19 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"The Internet saved Andy Stephenson’s life .....
But one day later Andy died, despite his surgery."

It saved his life.

He died the next day.

Did that make sense in your head when you wrote it?

12:20 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"I dare you to keep this comment posted and to post the thread link on your blog for people to read, PJ."

You should really take them up on that dare. I followed the link and read it - its hilarious.

They still don't seem to understand that all you do is show their words. Bev Harris, Andy Stephenson, Will Pitt ... it's all just the DUmmies talking to themselves.

It's fascinating that they're essentially calling their own words and thoughts "hate speech."

I think the part they most fail to grasp is that this blog would be hilarious even if you never said a word. If you just posted clips from the DU threads, it'd be a laugh riot.

Just like that link she breathlessly posted to and dared you to leave up.

These people are so humorless. And I love them for it.

12:23 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

>>>>PJ's comments aren't the funny parts, kids. It's you.

Dude, we are not the party with the worst president in the history of the US. We didn't vote for dumb fuck. The jokes on you! Your idiot leader and his followers (oh thats you) have created more material for the Tonight Show and the Daily Show and the Late Show etc. etc. etc. than every politician that has ever existed combined!

This site's humor is as BAD as that lame show on Fox (The Half Hour News Hour). OMFG! NOT FUNNY! You are all associated with the worst president in American history and you think you are funny? WOW!!!! Don't think to hard or you might hurt yourself!

1:14 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Li'l Fried Beaver

1 small beaver (20 lbs.), cleaned and skinned,
cut into serving pieces, strips or cubes
6 slices bacon
1 tsp. seasoning salt

Remove fat from beaver and soak overnight in cold water. Drain. Cook in small amount of water until tender, then fry with bacon and seasoning salt. Variation: substitute hickory-smoked seasoning salt for plain seasoning salt.

2:02 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Li'l Beaver with Sour Cream

2 - 4 lbs. cut beaver
1/2 cup flour
1 tsp. salt
1/4 tsp. paprika
1/2 tsp. salt
1/2 cup water
1 cup sour cream
Oil to cover
1 onion

Clean beaver and soak overnight in salted water (1 tbsp. salt to 1 quart water). Drain, cut up, and roll in 1/2 cup flour seasoned with 1 tsp. salt and 1/4 tsp. paprika. Fry in fat until browned. Then cover the beaver with sliced onion. Sprinkle the onion slices with 1/2 tsp. salt. Add 1/2 cup water. Cover the skillet tightly. Simmer for 1 hour. Add 1 cup sour cream the last 15 minutes of cooking time. Serves 2 - 4 depending on the size of the animal.

2:08 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


2-3 lbs 1 inch cubes beaver
6 eggs
2 cups flour
Salt, pepper, ginger, sage, poultry seasoning, etc.
Oil for frying

Mix eggs, flour and any combination of the spices above for a variety or about 1 tsp. salt and 1 tsp. pepper. Alternate beating and adding about 1 tbsp. of milk until the mix has thinned enough to jiggle when shaken. Continue to beat with a fork until the ingredients are thoroughly blended. Stir in the beaver cubes until all cubes are well coated.

Drop individual coated cubes in hot oil (at least 2 inches deep). Cubes will sink and then float as they start frying. Stir and turn until golden brown making sure no chunks remain stuck to the bottom of your fry pan.

Eat plain or dip in sweet and sour sauce, BBQ sauce, honey, honey-mustard sauce or your favorite steak sauce. Try different types of salad dressings.

2:11 AM  
Anonymous Cody said...

I actually find it kind of strange your blog is even listed in the Funny Blog category. These are rants, my friend; label them as such.

2:47 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Fuck you're stupid. And not funny. Really really not funny.

3:58 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Keep it coming, liberals. Every post just makes me laugh harder.

It really is amazing that you'd be frothing and rabid over some guy who basically just copies your posts and snarks on them.

Awesome. Keep it up. You're entertaining those of us capable of critical thought, and you're working awfully hard to make this silly little blog well-known.

God, I love liberals.


9:53 AM  
Blogger Lone Star Conservative said...

You know, DUmmies, you can have your own little Andy myths over at the DUmp. You can even believe that Andy was 24 business hours from proving MIHOP. But please, don't attempt to spread your myths to people who at least have a general idea of what happened.

A haiku for the DUmmies:

Mindless miscreants
Don't see how stupid they look
Oh well, more DUFUs.

10:31 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

If one of you people who think this blog is funny will post just one funny example, I'll give him a vote tomorrow...Sadly, I can't give him a vote today.

And comments don't count.

12:20 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Awesome. Keep it up. You're entertaining those of us capable of critical thought...

Now, when a wingnut says this, that's funny.

1:36 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Copies your posts and snarks on them?

This would be a fine accusation if he actually did snark on them. But he basically tells Knock Knock jokes, with lots of exclamation points. You won't believe this, but I AM A CONSERVATIVE. This isn't about politics. It's about the silence after a bad joke. It's about that gassy Uncle who shows up at Thansgiving and makes you pull his finger.

Somebody told this guy he was funny, and we've all had to pay the price.

3:19 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Do you guys hate liberals so much that it doesn't bother you in the least that you may have helped kill someone? I see the occasional dismissive rationalization along the lines of "we know the REAL story," as if everyone in Seattle -- it's a liberal town, after all! -- got together to conspire to take money from, uh, other liberals and spin this great conspiracy to hide the truth.

And, yeah, I guess if that's all true, you guys are not only great researchers but really, really funny.

Do any of you ever stop and ask yourselves, though: gosh, what if he did have cancer, and what if our campaign against him screwed things up just enough that we cheated him out of years of life?

I bet you probably don't. You'll probably respond to this with some kind of dismissive mockery. But I sure hope that you feel a little twitch at the possibility of how tragically wrong you could be.

Because, you know, I'm one of those crazy liberals who'd like to believe that just because someone disagrees with me, they're not inhuman beasts with sacks of turds for souls.

From everything I've read on this case, the guy was real, the guy was really sick, and the guy really died after having real delays caused by harassment -- and he was harassed pretty much solely because he was a contributor to a ranty left-wing blog. And no matter how hilarious this blog may be, his death shouldn't be leaving anyone laughing.

6:11 PM  
Blogger Lone Star Conservative said...

And how ridiculous is the idea that a hospital would delay treatment of an obviously sick man due to what some peple are saying on the Internet? The entire myth you DUmmies spun is laughable and you know it.

8:02 PM  
Anonymous rugged conservative loner patriot guy said...


Ha ha ha!

Ho ho!



10:18 PM  

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