Friday, October 12, 2007

The Goracle Canonized With Nobel Prize



All Hail the Mighty Goracle!!! He has been Canonized with the highly politicized Nobel Peace Prize!!! All who deny the Goracle as the Savior of the Planet shall be denounced as Global Warming Deniers. All who would deny the Goracle his rightful place as President shall be denounced as vicious rightwingers! All Hail the Mighty Goracle!!!

As I suspected, the fact that Al Gore won the Nobel Peace Prize has sent the Left into a frenzy of hope that their Goracle will soon announce that he will strike down the dreaded Hildebeast by entering the 2008 presidential campaign. For the non-believing heathens who do not accept the Mighty Goracle as their Chosen One, this is a win/win situation. It is a win if Gore enters the 2008 race because of the consternation it will cause Hilllary and the vicious smear campaign that is sure to ensue. If the Goracle does not enter the race within the next couple of weeks, the leftwing will be inconsolable in their grief at being denied their Goracle at the expense of being stuck with the Hildebeast as their candidate. Therefore is it interesting to read the reactions of the Daily Kos KOmmies to their Mighty Goracle winning the Nobel Prize in this THREAD titled, "Gore and IPCC Split Nobel Peace Prize." So let us now watch the KOmmies grovel before the Mighty Goracle in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, burning butterfly ballots as carbon credit incense offerings to the Savior of the Planet, is in the [brackets]:


Gore and IPCC Split Nobel Peace Prize


[I Pee See, See?]


Former U.S. Vice President Al Gore and the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change won the 2007 Nobel Peace Prize today. They will each receive a gold medal, a diploma and split about $1.5 million. The award ceremony will be held Dec. 10 in Oslo.


[In the case of the Goracle, he will receive 750,000 carbon credits in lieu of cash.]


The "world" - or at least the millions of the world's citizens who have seen An Inconvenient Truth, and the far fewer who have read the IPCC's extensive reports on global warming - may indeed have an understanding of the measures that need to be adopted. But we're far from overcoming the political obstacles in the way of actually adopting those measures. One of the chief obstacles sits today in the Oval Office. Scores of others clutter Congress.


[Please run, Oh Mighty Goracle, and save us from the Scourge of the EVIL Republicans!!!]

As the smearing and ridiculing of Gore and NASA scientist James Hansen by the global warming deniers prove, greedheads and ideologues will stand in the way even when megadisaster looms. They began their rancid challenge to those who warned us about global warming more than two decades ago, and they have yet to surrender their campaign of self-interested falsehoods. You can count on many of the biggest liars to repeat some of those falsehoods today. To solve the crisis, even to ameliorate it, requires trashing their BS and shoving them aside. We have Al Gore to thank for his relentless effort to popularize the message that can help us achieve that.


[Global Warming is an established fact and cannot be challenged. All who dare to challenge it shall be derided as heretical Global Warming Deniers. No debate is necessary. Case closed. Mind closed. And now to hear about the canoniziation of the Mighty Goracle from the rest of the KOmmies...]


The World is going into its eleventh hour, And Al Gore is the best man on this tiny blue planet to lead the charge in diagnosing and treating the endangered patient.


[Save the world, Al! And while you're at it, save us from the Hildebeast!]


Ready for Slime Time? You KNOW the GOP will have its slimers ready for duty today. The Prize will either mean nothing because (they will allege) A) Gore campaigned for it B) the left campaigned for it C) the Nobel Committee is part of the vast left-wing conspiracy or D) it's all a big prize money grab by Gore. All are false but truth has never been an obstacle for them.


[DUFU slimer ready and reporting for duty!]


the al-gore-fever is contagious! i relentlessly avoid candidate diaries. and most election-related stuff. now i have al gore fever!

[So that is what caused your rash and the uncontrollable desire to dance the robotic macarena.]


Anyone else feel let down? Yeah Al won. But we're still waiting.

[Disappointed already?]


The Nobel is more than a nudge. It's an elbow in the ribs. I'm guessing that he'll use the massive response to the draft petition as his reason d'entre, or however the heck the French say that.

[Le Grande Illusion.]


My schaudenfreude moment is realizing the price of a GWB speech and biography keeps going down.


[And your freudenschade moment is realizing that the Mighty Goracle won't be running for president.]


I'm almost as happy as the moment I heard that Florida had gone for Gore. Good thing Scalia can't get his claws on this one.

[The Supreme Court has just ruled 5 to 4 that the Goracle must return his Nobel Prize.]


that deserves a whole song parody!


[Charles Henrickson is your man. He can even compose the song in Swedish which I think those Nobel Norwegians can understand.]


It is well-deserved recognition to a man who did not retreat into private life after leaving office. And...Bush must really HATE it! bwahahaha. F U, POTUS.


[Guess who is sitting in the Oval Office right now? bwahahaha.]


The zeitgeist is with Gore. Whatever he's doing, it's working in a big way. The currents he is riding run deep and powerfully and have been building for decades. To my mind, there's only one more logical step. And he would not be taking that step for his own sake, but for the sake of the people of America and, indeed, of the entire world. Please do it, Mr. Gore.


[Please do it, Mr. Gore, or I shall be plunged into eternal grief.]


The Gore home has solar panels and other energy efficiencies.

[Along with a whopping electric bill.]


I cannot forgive Gore for giving up on the White House on 2000. It is because he quit that we have the mess we have now. There was a movement in the Senate to refuse to ratify the election, and he asked the members of the Senate to ratify anyway because he did not want to look like a sore loser. By giving up and letting the US fall into the hands of fascists, he forever gave up any leading role in politics. When we needed him most, he quit. Gore can win the Nobel Peace Prize, a Pulitzer or a host of other awards, but it won’t change the fact that he did not fight for what was right when it mattered most.


[Damn the Goracle for temporarily bowing to reality!]


Not only has Al Gore been my President for the last seven years, but the Nobel Committee has recognized him as the leader he is.


[President in the Alternate Dimension.]

11 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hilarious!

These poor nitwits imagine that the nation gives a wet slap about who shares a Nobel Prize for Horse$hit and junk science?

They gave one to Arafat for cripes sake! A Peace Prize, no less!

Nonetheless... Run Al! Run! America NEEEEEEEEEDS you!

9:12 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Arafat AND Carter both received the Nobel "Peace Prize" that ought to tell you all you need to know about how the Nobel committee thinks...

9:30 AM  
Blogger Britt said...

Not to mention Hitler was nominated in 1939.

Adolf fucking Hitler.

The Peace Prize means jack shit. Gandhi never won one. But Yasser Arafat did. Thanks, but I'll decline.

9:33 AM  
Anonymous Ray said...

I heard that Mighty Al is donating his portion of the money to his own nonprofit Alliance for Climate Protection. His donating the money to himself! Why am I not surprised?

If he were a true humanitarian, he would donate the money to another cause, like AIDS research or malaria eradication. Instead, he decided to keep the money for himself and use his "nonprofit to shield himself from paying his fair share of taxes. If Karl Rove or Rush Limbaugh did something like that, the Left would all be typing until their fingers bled about how greedy the Right is and would point out time and time again that it was just a stunt to avoid taxes. Since it's Al, I'm sure the Left will have plenty of excuses for his greed.

10:28 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

They began their rancid challenge to those who warned us about global warming more than two decades ago, and they have yet to surrender their campaign of self-interested falsehoods.

If this KOmmie's memory extended another decade, he might recall the hype about "global cooling" in the 1970s. Isn't it funny how enviropolitical scare tactics change with the times? There's a word for it, but I'm having trouble remembering what it is. Oh, wait. It's called a fad. Gee, I guess it's only a matter of time before "global cooling" becomes retro.

Not only has Al Gore been my President for the last seven years, but the Nobel Committee has recognized him as the leader he is.

Hmm...doesn't that mean he can't run in '08?

10:43 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

As these KOmmies mindlessly celebrate the Goracle's peace prize, do they even notice the fact that he isn't winning any science prizes?

10:53 AM  
Blogger Capitalist Infidel said...

Someone tell me what global warming has to do with peace?

11:45 AM  
Blogger The Gunslinger said...

Arafat, Carter, and Kofi Anan...

Talk about a tainted prize.

3:54 PM  
Anonymous true patriot said...

Gore/Hillary '08!

With Michael Moore the Minister of Media!

4:17 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Global cooling, acid rain, asteroids hitting the earth...it's just another disaster de jour. Someone takes a possible scenario based on too many assumptions to be truly prophetic (that is, sure it's possible but in no way is it probable) and makes themselves famous by "getting out the message." They never DO anything about it, yet the disaster mysteriously never materializes. But by then they've moved on to the next pending disaster.

It's all about egos in the end.

11:46 AM  
Blogger Capitalist Infidel said...

No, it's all about MONEY in the end. Whatever will get you those billion dollar grants

8:31 AM  

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