Friday, October 05, 2007

Jon Stewart DESTROYS Chris Matthews In Book Interview From Hell



This edition of the DUmmie FUnnies is in a bit different format from normal. The reason why is I want all my DUFU fans to savor the very public destruction of Chris Matthews at the hands of Jon Stewart on the Daily Show as you can see in this VIDEO. The purpose of Matthews' appearance on Comedy Central's The Daily Show was to promote his book, "Life's A Campaign" in which Matthews suggest we can use phony politicians' tricks to get ahead in life. Matthews must have thought he would get a friendly reception from Stewart. If so, then he was soooooo wrong because Stewart proceeded to complete tear him and his dopey book apart. Here is the transcript of that interview from hell:


Jon Stewart: Life’s a Campaign. Now if I read this correctly, and I believe I read this book correctly, what you are saying is: People can use what politicians do in political campaigns to help their lives.


Chris Matthews: Yeah. It’s irony isn’t it?


Jon Stewart: It strikes me as fundamentally wrong. It strikes me as a self-hurt book, if you will. Aren’t campaigns, fundamentally, contrivances?


Chris Matthews: Yeah, campaigns can be. But politicians, the way they get to the top, is the real thing. They know what they’re doing. You don’t have to believe a word they say, but you have to watch how far they got. How did [Bill] Clinton get there? How did Hillary get there? How did all these guys get there? Reagan. They have methods to get to the top.


Jon Stewart: So you’re suggesting that even if noone believes a word you say, you can be successful.


Chris Matthews: Yes.


Jon Stewart: Now that seems to me to be a book about sadness. Is it not?


Chris Matthews: No.


Jon Stewart: How? In what world?


Chris Matthews: Can I give you one example of the truth here? Bill Clinton, when he was in college, would get women, girls, in bed…


Jon Stewart: Not just in college.


Chris Matthews:: … by listening. He listened to them. When friends of his couldn’t get the girls, he’d tell them ‘you gotta listen to them.’ I thought, growing up, that you drank beer and you bragged. But he says, you have to listen to them – it’s flattering. And it works.


Jon Stewart: It works if you care what they’re saying. But politicians often listen, but it’s a contrivance.


Chris Matthews: It’s not a contrivance. I’m listening to you.


Jon Stewart: No, you’re not.


Chris Matthews: How can I not? You’re trashing my book!


Jon Stewart: You don’t listen to anybody! I’m not trashing your book; I’m trashing your philosophy of life. Your book is an excellent recipe –


Chris Matthews: Do you want to succeed?


Jon Stewart: I’ve succeeded!


Chris Matthews: Do you want to have friends?


Jon Stewart: I have friends! I want real friends! Wait a minute. If you treat life like a campaign, at the end of your life do you give a concession speech?


Chris Matthews: No.


Jon Stewart: Well, then, it’s not a campaign.


Chris Matthews: It is a campaign. Everything about getting jobs, it’s about convincing someone to hire you. It’s about getting promotions. It’s about selling products. It’s always a campaign. It’s a campaign to get the girl of your dreams. It’s a campaign to do everything you want to do in life.


Jon Stewart: But there has to be some core of soul in there …


Chris Matthews: I’m not denying that. You’re a hard sell. Watch the Clintons. Watch how successful they are. Watch what they do. They do listen to people. Hillary Clinton went on a listening tour of the state of New York and won a Senate seat.


Jon Stewart: Labelling something a ‘listening tour’ doesn’t mean you’re listening. That’s what I’m saying. President Bush had a sign that said “Mission: Accomplished.” That doesn’t make it accomplished.


Chris Matthews: He wasn’t listening.


Jon Stewart: What campaigns are, are photo opportunities that are staged. And there’s nothing in this book about ‘Be Good. Be Competent.’


Chris Matthews: That’s the Bible. It’s been written.


Jon Stewart: This book has been written, too! It was called “The Prince.”


Chris Matthews: This book is better. Did you read it? What’d you think?


Jon Stewart: Yes, I read it. I thought it was a recipe for sadness. Only because when I read it I thought ‘This strikes me as artifice. If you live this book, your life will be strategy.’ This strikes me as saying success is finite.


Chris Matthews: No no. Because there’s a lot of good stories in it. To get ahead in life, people are good listeners, they’re optimistic people, they’re very good at asking for help because they don’t try to do it alone. And everytime the ask for help, they get more people invested in them.


Jon Stewart: On the campaign trail, that makes common sense. Listening to people, caring about people. But in this book, there’s stuff about “Attack Someone Where You Know Noone’s Going To Attack Them.”


Chris Matthews: I didn’t say that.


Jon Stewart: You tell the story about the guy in the campaign who attacked the other guy in the campaign on health care. And they asked him why he did that, and he said ‘cuz nobody else is attacking him on health care.’


Chris Matthews: No. He said he supported national health care because he knew his opponent wouldn’t do it because it looked like socialized medicine. He did what he thought was right. But that’s where he decided to strike, because he knew his opponent wouldn’t go with him.


Jon Stewart: That’s what I’m saying. Sometimes when you read the book, it seems like you’re saying ‘Do what you think will win,” not “Do what you think is right.”


Chris Matthews: Well, it’s both.


Jon Stewart: Well, this seems to emphasize the former.


Chris Matthews: It does! Can you come on ‘Hardball?’ We can play this both ways.


Jon Stewart: I don’t troll.


Chris Matthews: You are unbelievable. This is the book interview from hell. This is the worst interview I’ve ever had in my life. This is the worst. You are the worst. I thought you were so big, you weren’t afraid of me.


Jon Stewart: I’m not.


Chris Matthews: This book scares you. There’s something in this book you fear.


Jon Stewart: There is something in that book I fear. Like fascism. All I’m saying is this: I love what you do.


Chris Matthews: Can I tell a story?


Jon Stewart: You can. It’ll be edited out.


Chris Matthews: Okay. This is a book about good values, it’s a – it’s hopeless with you! You’re Zell Miller!


Jon Stewart: No. No duels for me. I appreciate it that you tried to …. I’ll come on your show and you can yell at me.



If you think this episode couldn't get any funnier...it DOES! Even though almost every observer of this interview, whether conservative or liberal, universally agrees that this interview was a disaster for Chris Matthews, he is still stubbornly maintaining via a severe case of false bravado that he was actually victorious in that interview. Here is an excerpt from at the tail end of an article in the Examiner.Com about the 10th anniversary party for Hardball:


On a side note: Matthews was overheard discussing his Tuesday appearance on "The Daily Show," which featured a heated exchange with host Jon Stewart. According to one source, Matthews was steadfast in his belief that the debate left Stewart crestfallen, and Matthews victorious.


I suppose if Chris Matthews can delude himself into believing that his book is better than Machiavelli's "The Prince," he can also fool himself into thinking that he was victorious in that Comedy Central interview.




10 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm not surprised that Matthews would write a book like this, since his original job was as a political hack. So naturally, he'd figure the best way to get ahead is by the "whatever it takes" method with no core beliefs or strategic since that was what he used to do.

I'm also not surprised he thought he "won" in that interview since (1) he's a clueless fool most of the time and (2) his ego (which is at least the size of Alaska) would not let him believe he's anything other than superior.

10:25 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Lefties eating their own?

Delightful!

11:03 AM  
Anonymous ray said...

"Chris Matthews: It is a campaign. Everything about getting jobs, it’s about convincing someone to hire you."

Politicians get "hired" by spending a lot of other people's money on the campaign trail. Where do I get millions of dollars of "life donations" to "get ahead" the way CM describes?

If you follow CM's philosophy, you better be ready to spend millions of dollars to get that "dream job" that brings you $75,00.00 a year. You also better be prepared to spend another million dollars or so to get your "dream girl."

According to CM, it's all about perfecting your image and not about increasing your abilities. Talk about a receipt for disaster! How long can you keep a job in the private sector if you abilities don't match your image? Not very long at all. Unlike politics, employers expect people to actually have the abilities to perform the required work. Image may get you that job, but only your abilities will allow you to keep it. You can campaign all you want for that raise or promotion, but only those with the proven ability to do the job will advance.

The biggest problem with treating life as one big campaign trail is that it will only work if you only think of yourself first as you will need to treat all others as ether an opponent or a constituent. You would be reduced to ether treating other people as an enemy to be defeated or a stooge to be convinced that you are the best choice. Ether way, that's not a good way to live your life. Most people are not the enemy or a stooge, treat them as such and you really will live a life of sadness. In this respect, Stewart is correct. It's much better to treat other people as, well, people. That's what works for me.

11:19 AM  
Anonymous Mikey NTH said...

Subtitled "How To Be A Big Fat Phony and Live A Full, Rich, and Empty Life."

1:56 PM  
Blogger Son Of The Godfather said...

At least he didn't spit in this interview.

6:13 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Chris you blew it dude!! You were on the "Daily Show". Isn't that the "big time"?? Well at least compared to Hardballs's ratings it is. You're finally on a show that has an audience and you come off as moron hack..not that you wouldn't come off as anything else anyhow. So how do you respond?? You declare victory in your debate with Stewart, and while eveyone is still laughing at you; you try to delfect by leveling crimminal charges against the Bush admin. without any real specifics. Of course that's no different then any other libtard. Maybe you can save your reputation, by going on that ratings giant CBS evening news, and beat on Katie. She should be easier to handle then Stewart. What a tool.

Skully

2:33 AM  
Anonymous ray said...

"Chris Matthews: Can I give you one example of the truth here? Bill Clinton, when he was in college, would get women, girls, in bed…

Jon Stewart: Not just in college.

Chris Matthews:: … by listening. He listened to them. "


CM, Clinton didn't listen to them at all. If he had, he would have heard that they were tired of men just using them for sex. What did Clinton do? He "listened" to them long enough to get them in bed, then he dumped them. He manipulated them for his personal gain.

Tell me again how this book is about "good values" when the best example you can give is an example of manipulation for personal gain, one of the worst values of all?

11:16 AM  
Anonymous Mikey NTH said...

ray, I think the 'manipulation of others for personal gain' is why Stewart mentioned that Matthew's book had been written before and called "The Prince".

12:08 PM  
Anonymous john f not kerry said...

One blogger I read called this matchup "pink on pink". Who knew it would be a bloodbath?

12:29 PM  
Anonymous Masshole said...

Does Chris Matthews' book mention anything about how getting a $400 beauty treatment at Pink Sapphire can help us regular guys get ahead in life?

3:53 PM  

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