Tuesday, June 06, 2006

"Today we are ALL Gay"

This morning I woke up with the sudden urge to listen to a Judy Garland album, redecorate my home, and toss out all earth tone clothing that I own. Why? Because according to this DUmmie THREAD, "Today we are ALL Gay." And in my new role I am feeling VERY creative! Maybe I'll even learn to become a figure skater before the day is over. However, I just simply MUST do Britney Spears' hair! Girl, I don't know where your hair is done but at Le DUFU Salon we would FIRE any hairdresser who allowed a customer to walk out the door wearing that travesty. Oh, and how do you like my new Pink Triangle? Yes, everybody today MUST wear one or fear being labeled a vicious bigot according to this other DUmmie THREAD titled, "Because Hatred Is Not a DU Family Value, I Ask You To Join Me...In changing your avatar for 5 days to a GLBT avatar." So let us now watch the DUmmies turn Gay in deep Bolshevik Pink which you ONLY THINK looks like red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, now confessing that in the privacy of his own home he dresses in men's underwear, is in the [brackets]:

Today we are ALL Gay

[I'm already on my way to Fire Island!]

in all the meanings the word actually has. In particular we stand shoulder to shoulder with ALL gays (even those who are closeted)

[Even with Tom Cruise?]

Today, (and until this bill dies) I'm GAY!! Then I go back to men.

[Amendment! That's Marriage Protection Amendment. However, I'm confused. If you are gay today then why would you go BACK to men when the "bill" dies? Isn't it the other way around?]

I've got an idea-- How about a campaign in which those who support gays' rights to marry agree that, whenever they're in public with one or more friends or relatives of the same sex, they'll hold hands!

[And skip! Don't forget about skipping down the street while holding hands.]

COOL! .... I've always felt that I was a lesbian trapped
in a man's body because even if I was a woman, I just can't see no big ol' sweaty man on top of me!

[You had me fooled! All this time i thought you were a transvestite trapped in the body of a transexual.]

Be gay every day!

[In every little creative way!]

And, Once Again...TRANSGENDER Is Completely Forgotten About!!!

[So you are saying that this whole "Today we are ALL Gay" deal is a bigoted concept because it leaves out the transgendered?]

I have f*cking HAD IT with gay this gay that, gay this, gay that...ALWAYS THEY GET THEIR RIGHTS...AND WE GET SCREWED!! I'm just f*cking sick of it...I'm so goddamned mad I want to scream and hit things!!

[Just don't break my oh so precious porcelain set you brutal but ignored transgendered person.]

I Stand with gays... I feel for you, Even though I am straight and live in one of the most homophobic areas in the US. I hope Bush's Homophobe agenda falls on its own putrid face!

[You're straight? The lady doth protest too much, methinks.]

We're here, We're Queer, We've come to drink your beer!

[And Will has a lot of beer for you if you can tolerate his overlong Norma Desmond routine.]

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

I have a VERY SPECIAL offer for my DUmmie FUnnies fans. It is a product I have been using myself and fully endorse: the amazing HELICOPTER KITE. This helicopter kite flies like a helicopter. You can make it go hundreds of feet into the
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also MADE IN THE USA! The helicopter kites have a LIFETIME warranty so all defective or broken parts will be replaced. Your purchase of the helicopter kite will not only provide you with lots of FUn this summer but it will also help keep the DUmmie FUnnies going. So take a look at the


Blogger Son Of The Godfather said...

I've got an idea-- How about a campaign in which those who support gays' rights to marry agree that, whenever they're in public with one or more friends or relatives of the same sex, they'll *!#% each other!

8:54 AM  
Anonymous Bald Eagle said...

Today all the DUmmies are gay???
As a conservative gay man, I say:
"with friends like that, who needs enemas?"

9:18 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I couldn't stand watching more than 1/2 of the demo.

Lot's of film, but very little footage of the thing flying under control.

No kids shown flying it.

Always cut away after 5 seconds.

$20 says it's impossible for kids to fly, and difficult for adults.

Steve O

8:11 PM  
Blogger PJ-Comix said...

So if you STOPPED watching the copter video at the halfway mark, then how do you KNOW it can't be flown under control or by kids? I've flown the copter kite a lot and once it goes over about 30 feet up into the steady wind it is almost as stable as a rock. You could put the string in a dog's mouth to hold the kite, that's how stable it is. Plus I just saw two kids under 11 years old flying this same copter kite at the beach about a week ago.

Amazing how you can claim to NOT watch more than half the video and then declare yourself an EXPERT. I'm leaving your comment up just so folks can see what a DUhhhhhmmmie you are.

4:26 AM  
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